My life without you
by raok
Summary: Bella and Edward are forced friends. Their parents are close, their friends are inseparable, but Bella and Edward hate each other. Will they ever get over the hate and realize that it may have been more than that all along?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

**Hey guys!**

**Soooo, this is a wicked awesome story that's also a joint venture between me (theotherbella) and raok... this is out very fist fic together, and... you know... I'm kind of excited! Kel's gonna tell you about it so listen up:**

**  
Here's a fic about the two people you ship the hardest BxE - don't even try to front.  
Bella's pretty awesome in this story and not a total weakling (thank god!). We're gonna try not to make her a total pansy douche-tard so hopefully you'll like it. But who doesn't love a little DickWard, am I right?**

Oh and reviews are almost as good as Edward's sex hair!

**EPOV**

My life is pretty perfect.

I have basically everything I need; a good family, a decent group of friends, an above average intellect, and I'm no Quasimodo. But in every charmed life, there is a thorn.

An imperfection.

A blemish.

And for me, that's Bella Swan.

This girl is like my... my kryptonite; she just gets under my skin and festers there, and no matter what I do, she will not fucking leave me alone.

This is why I hate her.

_Please, God... make her disappear._

The problem with my whole Bella situation is that no matter what I do, no matter where I go, I can't get away from her; she just seems to be everywhere.

Kind of like a shittier version of air. More annoying, you know?

Her parents and mine have been friends since the beginning of time, it feels like. Over the years, I've been forced to endure Bella through holiday dinners and birthdays, each more excruciating than the last. And if that wasn't enough, she has to be in most of my classes. She's even my lab partner in bio.

_What the fuck?_

It's like she was invented just to torture me; just to make me realize how good I have it the 20% of the time she's not around. I relish those moments when I don't have those stupid shit brown eyes watching me like a hawk.

I think that's what I hate most about her.

She's always staring at me, in fact she stares at most people, but she never says one word. And those people she calls friends? How do they even stand her?

Take Alice Brandon, for instance, the chick is seriously awesome. She's been dating my best friend, Jasper Whitlock for a while now, and it's like this chick was made for social situations. She's funny outgoing, and always makes everyone look at her.

So now, you tell me: why is she hanging out with a crazy girl like Bella?

No fucking clue, right?

The others aren't so bad; Angela's quiet, but still nice, and then there's Rosalie, the queen of practically everything.

But Bella appears to be the leader of the pack, so to speak. They follow her lead and she makes the decisions. Fucking figures. The girl's too good to share her opinion to us common folk, but she sure as hell can run her clique.

I seriously do not understand her.

"Hey Cullen!" I heard Jasper calling me from across the lawn. "You coming?"

I sighed and followed him up to Emmett McCarty's annual Halloween party. Em always has parties at his house, but Halloween is the one night that you can expect to see everyone, and I do mean _everyone._ From that weird kid who picks the corn out of the chili at lunch to the object of your desire... they'll both be here, commingling and maybe even swapping spit.

Maybe.

Either way, I know I'm going to have to look at stupid Bella tonight, and I'm not looking forward to it. Maybe she'll wear a mask.

Please... wishful thinking.

I headed through the open front door and into a throng of people who, presumably entered, but were too chicken shit to move into the actual party. It's crazy that people still go all out for Halloween. I mean, we're 18 years old; you'd think we'd be over it. But no. Here I am, dressed as some hot shot football player, with my idiot friends and trying to peel my way through the slutty french maids and 'kittens' to get into the kitchen where I know Emmett is presiding over a game of Black Jack.

House rules.

"Ok, Jess that's 18. Hit or stay?" Emmett says.

Ah, Jessica Stanley.

Poor, naive Jessica Stanley.

She's been fawning all over one of the three of us, since fucking forever. And true to form, she flicked a piece of dull brown hair over her shoulder and gave Em what I'm thinking is supposed to be a sexy smirk.

But only dumb things come out of Stanley, "Hit me, big boy."

Em raised an eyebrow and laughed to himself before flipping over the next card and putting it on Jess's pile. Six of clubs.

"Ohh, sorry, honey. That's 24."

Jess pouted at Em, and crossed her arms over her chest, pushing up what little cleavage she had. "But, now I'm sad. Em, who's going to make me feel better?"

Emmett's eyes went wide, but then he spotted Jasper and I in the doorway, and gave us a wicked smirk.

"Honey, I think Cullen's your man tonight."

Oh. Fucking. Hell.

My eyes widened as Jess honed in on me, and she smiled seductively (I think) in my direction. I heard Jasper laughing beside me and I shot him a furious glare. This could not be happening to me; now I could potentially have to dodge both Stanley and the vicious Swan.

I know I'm good... but am I _that_ good?

We'll see my friend.

I start to back away from an advancing Stanley, when suddenly Jasper grabs my arm.

"What?" I shout frantically.

He nodded in the direction of the door, his face impassive. "Incoming."

I turned to look and all of a sudden, I was assaulted with the sickeningly sweet smell of strawberries. This can only mean one thing.

Swan.

My eyes finally landed on her, and I groaned. She was dressed as a fucking cheerleader. I'm a football player and she's a cheerleader. What the hell? Well, okay; it's not just her, it's all of them in short, tight yellow and navy skirts with matching tank tops with FHS across their chests.

I hated her for having tits and then myself for being heterosexual.

They made their way through the crowd toward us, and it was like the parting of the Red Sea. How stupid.

She kept getting closer and closer to me, and then I felt something warm crash into my chest. I looked down at Stanley's crazy ass smirk and decided (in the moment) to go with it. I leaned down and crush my lips to hers, but all of a sudden the chaste kiss I initiated turned into the number of ways her tongue could violate me. In my mouth, across my lips, on my teeth, licking my cheek... God, she was taking fucking inventory or something. I finally pulled away to look at her, and thankfully Swan and her minions had passed and I could breathe.

"Like it baby?"

I refocused on Stanley, but I caught Bella watching us out of the corner of my eye, one arm draped across Emmett. So as much as I hated it, I went back in for Stanley's mouth.

Bella Swan would not ruin my Halloween with her stupid fucking stares.

BPOV

He was nothing short of fucking disgusting. I was pretty sure Edward Cullen had felt the insides of more mouths in Forks than the only dentist in this town.  
I had spotted him right away when I walked in. His bronze hair was unmistakable and stood up like bad sperm hair from _Something About Mary_. He of course hadn't seen me (thank god) since he had been fucking Jess's mouth with his tongue as we passed him. My eyes remained glued to him as we made our way over to where Emmett was trying to pull one over on Mike Newton.  
I draped an arm over Em's shoulders giving him a light squeeze, my eyes still focused on the vomit-inducing sight that was Edward and Jess. Seriously it was like watching a gruesome car crash, I wanted to look away but I was curious to see if someone would emerge alive. The way they were eating each others faces... I wasn't sure either of them would. Maybe it _would_ be a good Halloween after all. I could see it now, Forks Daily Newspaper, dated November 1: "Two local teenagers who were known in the community as being STD ridden sluts were found dead this morning. The cause of death has not been confirmed at this time but there is speculation that they sucked each others' faces off."  
Emmett's boisterous voice brought me out of my daydream. "Bells, I'm sure Edward would more than welcome adding you to the mix he's got going with Jess over there. Why don't you go say hi?" He asked wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. I dropped my arm from his shoulder and elbowed him in the ribs. "Ew, gross Emmett. I don't need herpes for Halloween."  
"Bella, I don't have herpes." Fuck, I had forgotten Mike was at the blackjack table.  
What the fuck could you say to that? "Oh, um... that's great Mike."  
Rosalie appeared on the other side of Emmett and glared at Mike. "That's because no one wants to kiss your whiny ass, Newton."  
"Babe, calm down. Can't you see little Mikey here is just trying to flirt with Bells?" Emmett teased, pulling her onto his lap.  
Mike stood up, giving me the twice over look before raising a hand and waving slightly in my direction. "I'm just gonna go grab a drink... I'll uh, see you around Bella."  
I tugged at my skirt trying to pull it down below my upper thigh as I smiled and nodded, watching Mike practically sprint from the blackjack table towards the back porch. At the sight both Emmett and Rosalie busted up laughing. "Oh my god Bella, that guy has the biggest boner for you!" Rosalie wailed as Emmett's laughter had her bouncing up and down on his lap. "Seriously Bells, when are you going to fuck him and put him out of his misery? I mean he's a jackass, but each semester that you deny him, he gets even more pathetic."  
I rolled my eyes. "Yea Em, that's a _great_ reason to fuck him; to make him less pathetic in your eyes."  
"You should at least throw him a bone; go down on him in the locker room or _something_," he suggested. Rosalie swatted at his chest shaking her head.  
"Bella is better than that. She's not like a certain _Edward_ who fucks anything that moves and has a pussy. Bella is waiting for something more meaningful than a Mike Newton."  
I heard two people crack up laughing behind me and I spun my body around.  
_Fuck_.  
"So Bells, you've never let a guy touch you _there_?" Edward teased smirking. Jessica was standing next to him, trying to stifle her giggle as she tightened her grip around his waist.  
"Like Rosalie said, I have more respect for myself than that. I don't need to fuck anything that walks just to prove that people like me."  
"That's right, cuz no one fucking does," he sneered wrapping an arm around Jess flushing her against his side.  
"Did you come here for something Edward? Or just to get a good look at Bells so you have a fantasy image to play out in your head while you're pounding the tramp on your arm?" Rosalie asked casually as she examined her freshly painted french-tip nails.  
"Rosalie you fucking cunt-"  
Rosalie stood up and was inches from Jessica's face. "What _bitch_?"  
Edward shook his head and looked over at Emmett. "Em, keep your woman in check. She's hot, but she's the second biggest bitch I know," he quipped glaring down at me has he completed his sentence. Emmett held his hands up, surrendering. "Hey man, I don't try to keep a lock on my Rosie. She can beat down whomever she wants as long as I get to watch because that shit is fucking _hot_."  
I couldn't help it, I laughed. Rosalie turned to face me and smirked, quickly finding her spot in Emmett's lap again. "Damn straight baby," she agreed placing a chaste kiss on his lips.  
She turned to face Jessica, who had cowered down and was partially hidden behind the man whore.

"Oh and Edward? Bella may not be a fighter but I am - especially when it comes to your whore de jour taking petty shots at my friend here. I suggest you spread the word to your harem that what happened to Lauren Mallory can and will happen to any of your other girls if they mess with Bells."  
_That was a great day; the day when Lauren called me trash and Rosalie broke her nose in the middle of the quad without so much as a scratch on her body._  
"Oh that's right. Wouldn't let pwetty little defenseless Bella stand up for herself, would you?" He mocked looking directly into my eyes.  
I had never felt like such a little kid in my entire life;as if I couldn't take care of myself.  
Without thinking I lunged at him, my fist slamming into his face as I clocked him right in the eye.  
_Bella Swan can take care of herself, thank you very fucking much_.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey short stuff, fancy meeting you here... so, so happy with the response y'all gave for the first bit... made my day hardcore.**

**My half of the chap is for the ever lovable, ever awesome aliceg for the reasons mentioned before...**

**K, so like I gotta give a shout out to miss aliceg too. Because 1) she is the best reviewer in the history of reviewers for ANYTHING - take that fucking Siskel and Ebert. Plus 2) she's just so awesome how could at least 1 chap not be for her? Duh. Hope you likey!**

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**EPOV**

It was like all of a sudden, I felt something hard, yet oddly gentle come in contact with my face.

The only thing I could possibly think was that Swan had finally used that fucked up stare to knock me out and I fell into Stanley's tit. But then I felt my back hit the wall, and someone fall on top of me as that stupid strawberry smell hit my nose.

Fuck, Swan. What the hell?

I groaned and opened my eyes, only to find her still pathetically hitting my chest and mumbling under her breath. She was so intent on causing damage; so sure that she was hurting me that for some reason I couldn't tell her otherwise. I grabbed her fists to steady her.

"Bella, Bella. Stop. What are you doing?" I was speaking to her, and her alone but she ignored me and kept trying to break free. But I didn't budge. She wasn't getting away with this shit.

"Bella," I said a bit more forcefully and her eyes finally snapped up to mine, and I was taken aback by what I saw in them.

Fear.

She was afraid.

_What the fuck did Swan have to be afraid of?_

I just kept on looking at her as she stared back up at me, and for once I wasn't completely disgusted with her; but at the same time, I did not like whatever the fuck this happened to be.

I heard Emmett clear his throat and that made me snap out of it, but what I saw when I looked away wasn't much better. Em and Rose, still on top of each other were smirking at me, and somehow Jasper and Alice had managed to stop playing tonsil hockey to gape at Bella and I being within a foot of each other. Then I realized what the hell I was doing and I pushed her away from me, and because she's wicked uncoordinated, she stumbled backward into the table.

"What the fuck, Swan? If you're gonna hit someone, at least have the balls to do it right."

"How would you know, Cullen? I'm pretty sure you got yours removed in fifth grade."

I narrowed my eyes at her. That fucking bitch ass skank. We do not talk about the incident in fifth grade. It is just not mentioned. I hate her forever for even bringing it up. I stepped toward her so that I was all up in her shit and she had to crane her neck to look up at me. We were pressed together so tightly that I could feel her breathing against my chest, and I could see the light smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose.

"If you were a guy, I'd beat you seven ways to Sunday for that comment. But I suppose because you're a pathetic excuse for a girl, I'll have to give you a warning. Stay away from me, Isabella. Don't look at me, don't think of me, don't even fucking breathe near me. Just get the fuck out of my life and take your bitch ass attitude with you."

I watched the anger start to pour out of her, but I didn't waste the time hearing what she had to say. I moved on. I was over it.

I pushed through the crowd, still seething, and out the front door.

Fuck Whitlock for picking tonight to drive.

I grumbled to myself as I began walking toward my house, peeling off my stupid costume in the process. I don't think I'll ever go to a Halloween part ever again.

"Cullen! Wait up!"

I could hear Jasper calling me, but fuck that. I wanted to get the fuck home.

"Edward, seriously. Wait."

I slowed a little so that he could catch up with me, but I never broke my stride. There was no way in hell I was going to go back there and apologize to her. You can't make me. I felt his hand on my shoulder pull me back ever so slightly, and I felt a growl rip through my chest.

"What the fuck, Cullen?"

I turned to face him, and he looked completely bewildered. Whatever, fuck that shit.

"Edward, seriously, why'd you say that shit to her?"

"Why'd she say that shit to me, asshole?"

"Umm, I dunno... maybe because you act like a deranged nymphomaniac cocksucking whore whenever she's around?"

"I. Do. Not."

"Yeah, you do. I'm pretty sure most of the saliva in your mouth right now isn't yours. Actually you should probably get tested now."

I took a deep breath and shut my eyes. I don't know why I let her get to me like this; she just does. It's like she can't be away from me... she can't leave me in peace. But maybe she'll take the hint and fuck off now.

One can only dream...

"Edward, you should apologize to her."

I turned to look at him incredulously, "What the fuck for?"

"Umm, for being a cocksucking douche."

"Yeah, if she apoligizes for being a twat. She punched me, remember?"

The bastard laughed a little at that. "Yeah, You look really injured."

He has the nerve to get sarcastic on my shit.

Holy fucking hell. Swan got him, too.

Balls.

I just gave him a warning look and walked away. I wanted to get home to my own bed, and my generally Swan free existance. My room was the only place I could hide from her shit. It was a few seconds before I heard Jasper calling after me.

"Listen, asshole! I don't know what she ever did to you, but check yourself every once in a while. She's actually a pretty cool chick once you get to know her."

I rolled my eyes. Clearly, Swan had used her voodoo witch craft to make all of my friends think that she's human. I wonder what they'll think when she takes off that costume, and they can see her for what she really is: a shallow, depraved, stuck up bitch.

I hate her down to the very core of my being.

I saw my house come into view a short while later, and it looked as though my parents were asleep. I walked quickly into my house, then up to my room where I collapsed on my bed and prayed for sleep.

Thankfully, my prayers were answered.

***

What felt like a short while later, I was jolted awake by the telephone ringing. I groaned and my alarm clock told me it was still the wee hours of the morning. Someone picked up mid ring, and I let myself start to drift back off.

But it didn't last too long.

A piercing scream rang through the house.

This could not be good

**BPOV**

I woke up to throbbing pain in my shoulder. It felt like I had pinched a nerve in my neck and the same shooting pain was racing along my shoulder and down my arm at 100mph.

Fuck, how drunk _did_ I get last night?

I tried to open my eyes, but it felt like I was squinting and I could only make out a few images. All of a sudden my ears registered the incessant beeping of something beside me and my head felt like it was pulsating to a bad techno song. _Where the fuck am I?_

I turned my neck to try and determine where the annoying sound was coming from and I saw a heart rate monitor. Fuck, I was in the hospital _again_. Holy fucking fuck, did I get alcohol poisoning? Shit, Charlie was going to _kill me_; mom would probably just laugh it off and chalk it up to "being young". She was pretty cool like that - let me get away with anything _and_ calmed Charlie's ass down about it in a single breath. I took a deep breath and yawned just as a nurse opened the door and began walking over to me.

"Well I'm glad to see someone's finally awake," she said teasingly.

"Um, yeah... crazy night I guess. Do you happen to know the time?"

She glanced down at her watch, "it's nearly 1pm Bella." Damn, homegirl can sleep. I tried sitting up a little, remaining painfully aware of the IV poking out of the top of my right hand.

"Wow... I guess I needed the rest."

"I'd say it did after what it went through last night," she agreed as she checked my pulse.

"So my mom and dad, I guess they're outside? On a scale of 1-10 how pissed does my dad look?" I needed to gauge how much I needed to play up the injured/sick card before he saw me for himself.

She looked at me confused. "What?"

Did this woman not understand the question? Was I speaking in tongues? How hard was it to tell me where my parents were?

"My parents, you know, Charlie and Renee - the cop and his hippie wife? Are they waiting outside or did they go home?"

She looked at me blankly. "Hun, you parents... they're not here."

What the fuck? Their daughter was laid up in a hospital and they were where? Camping at the res with Billy and the gang? Had Charlie finally convinced mom that it was in my best interest to throw me in jail for a day to see where my antics would eventually lead me?

"What? Are they back home? Where are they?" I asked sounding a bit frantic. This was _not_ fucking cool.

She patted my arm and smiled warmly. "I'm going to go make a quick phone call and find out. I'll be right back dear," she answered vaguely.

I fucking hated my parents right now.

**EPOV**

Fuck.

Shit.

Fuck.

Shit.

Leave it to Swan to walk right into trouble.

Leave it to Swan to walk home, alone, absolutely shit faced.

What the fuck was she thinking and where the fuck were her minions?

Hmm?

That's what I'd fucking like to know.

My parents didn't tell me anything when they came into my room. My dad just told me to get up; the Swans we at the hospital. I groaned and tried to ignore him, but instead he flicked on the light and told me I'd have to take my own car. That way I could bring Bella back here. She wasn't as bad off as her parents, I guess.

Figures.

So I took my time driving the Volvo to the hospital, not particularly caring that my Dad's black Mercedes shot out of the garage like a bat out of hell. Bella could wait; she probably just sprained her ankle or some shit.

I parked in the visitors lot, and met up with my parents, who were huddled together in the waiting area. I sat down next to my mom, and she put her hand over my knee.

"Honey, why don't you go up and see Bella? She might like to see a friendly face."

I shook my head. I still had no idea what the fuck was even happening. "Mom, I--"

"Edward, please." My father interjected, "Just go to her."

I sighed and heaved myself up the stairs and toward Bella's room. I rounded the corner, expecting to see that fucked up stare, but instead it was just fucking... gruesome.

Her face was varying shades of purple and blue, and she had deep, unforgiving circles under her eyes. I followed the bruising down her neck, to the heavy wall of bandages around her shoulder, to the odd angle her leg was jutting out from her body.

_Holy crap, Isabella... what happened to you?_

I walked over to her slowly, not completely sure whether or not she could hear me, and I since she can sometimes act like a wild animal, I wanted to be prepared. I got over to the chair that was up against the wall and paused.

"Bella?"

Nothing. Not even a twitch.

I picked up the chair and pulled it up next to her bed. Hey, my parents did tell me to stay with her.

I sat down and took her in again. I felt this weird... tug inside my chest.

Fuck that. Tug my ass.

I will not have any kind (and I do mean any kind) of tug for Swan. Ever.

But, my head didn't seem to know this. My fingers, of their own accord reached out to tentatively touch her fingers. They felt cold and dry to the touch, and I gasped a little. That was the moment that I realized that whatever had happened to the Swans was bad. Really, really bad.

And Bella would never be the same again.

**BPOV**

It felt like forever before that door opened again. I hated hospitals because they always seemed to be a time-slowing vacuum. You thought you had been waiting an hour, but lo and behold only 10 minutes had passed. When the door creaked open slowly, I was surprised at who walked through the door.

Esme.

I tried tilting my head to the side but that same shooting pain returned and I yelped out in agony at the unexpected discomfort. Esme's eyes that I had just noticed were red and puffy, immediately softened as she walked over to me. She took a seat in the vinyl chair that was beside my bed and looked up at me, lightly brushing a few strands of hair away from my eyes.

"Hi Bella," she said taking my left hand between both of hers. I smiled as best I could at her. She had always been so nice to me; I briefly wondered if Edward was adopted because no way in hell could Satan have been born from someone like Esme.

"Hi Mrs. Cullen," my voice was raw and soft. "Are my parents with you?"

Her face fell, and my heart suddenly tightened. "Bella, do you remember last night? Do you remember what happened when you got home?"

What was she talking about? I was at Em's party, then Alice dropped me off at my house because I was _waaay_ too wasted to drive home, and I stumbled through the door and smacked into... _oh god_.

Esme must have sensed my recognition and she squeezed my hand firmly. "I'm so sorry Bella," she whispered tenderly.

"My mom... Charlie... where are they?" I asked as the heart rate monitor went to town and I stared at Esme for reassurance.

"Baby, Bella... they didn't... they're gone."

_They're gone_.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Here's Chappy 3. theotherbella and I stayed up redonkulously late last night to try and get this done for everyone. Thanks to everyone that's reviewed so far, and don't be shy about leaving feedback. We live for that shit :)

Yeah, we def did... and on top of it we're not even in the same time zone. That, my dears, is dedication...

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**BPOV**

This was not fucking happening. My parents were here; they _had_ to be. They were Charlie and Renee fucking Swan. They were ying and yang and made it work. They were my parents that argued over enrolling me in self defense after school or tai-chi to "center" myself. They were living breathing people... they weren't.

_No, they couldn't be.  
There was no way in fucking hell that where my head was going with Esme's words was true.  
They weren't gone.  
They were here, they had to be here._

"Hun, Bella. I know sweetie..." Esme's voice whispered into my ear as she gave me a hug as best she could with me unmovable in the hospital bed.

"When.. how... what, where do I go? Did anyone else get hurt? _Oh God_ was Alice with me? Is she okay?" I spewed questions in rapid fire succession without giving Esme a moment to answer any of them.

She pulled back, sitting back down in the obviously uncomfortable chair. "Sweetie, Alice is fine, though she is incredibly worried about _you_."

"And, mom and Charlie?" It angered me to no end that even in death, I couldn't force myself to call him dad.

She drew a deep breath and looked down at my hand. "Your dad tried to fight off the attacker. Your mom was the strong woman she always has been and tried to help... somehow you got caught up in all of it when you got home. Your dad tried to protect you, but the intruder got to his gun before he did... your mom and dad... it wasn't painful. At least you can know they didn't... in agony."

She wasn't fucking saying it. It was like my head refused to let me believe everything she was eluding to, without her fucking saying it out loud.

My eyes were tearing up without my consent and it pissed me off, because I wasn't ready for any of this. I wasn't ready for my parents to be _dead_; I wasn't ready to say goodbye to them, to live without them. I needed my parents, as much as I pushed their limits and made them bicker over my own stupid rebellious choices, _I needed them here_.

"And as for what happens now," she looked up at me and gave me the sweet smile that was the first mental image I had whenever I thought of Esme, "you get to come live with me and Carlisle."

Hold your fucking horses.  
No way.  
Nuh-uh.  
Niet.  
Non.  
Never.

I _definitely _wasn't fucking ready to live with Edward Cullen.

**EPOV**

"She's living where?" I yelled at my father, who was staring out the window in his office as the rain pounded the glass.

"Edward, there's no other option; we're her legal guardians and now that Bella's... an orphan she has no where else to go."

Fuck.

Fuck this shit.

The minute I could get out of this fucking office, i was going to track down whatever assfuck who decided it was a good idea to break into the chief's house and kill whoever the fuck with my bare hands. You do not fuck up my life and get away with it.

This could not be happening.

"Please, Edward. You have to understand, this is a very difficult time for Bella, and she's going to need us to ban together to pull her through this."

I slammed a fist down on his mahogany desk, relishing in the painful sting it caused. "She wouldn't want me to help her. She's an insufferable bitch and I swear I'll move out before she moves in."

"Edward Anthony Cullen, don't you ever let me hear you speak like that about Isabella ever again. She's done nothing wrong to you in your seventeen years. While she's living with us, you'll treat her with respect as if she were... as if she were your sister."

My father didn't look the least bit hesitant as he yelled at me for calling Swan a bitch. And then he had to go and call her my sister.

No.

Swan wouldn't ever be my fucking sister. I was born an only child and I would die one.

And Swan would not fuck up my life. Ever.

My father sighed and put a hand on my shoulder. "Whether or not you get along now, you and Bella will be spending time together. It's in your interest to make the best of it."

I groaned and turned away from him, throwing open the door and leaving to get back to my car.

Which was apparently the only Bella free zone of my life now.

**BPOV**

"Mrs. Cullen, that's a very _nice_ offer, but I don't want to be an inconvenience." I was begging in the most polite way, to not have to live with the Cullens. Well, living with the Cullens wouldn't be so bad, it was living with _Edward_ that would make me want to light myself on fire just to get away from the situation.

"Nonsense dear! Your parents were the closest friends Carlisle and I have ever had; your mother was like the sister I never had - of course you'll live with us!" Her smile was infectious and despite myself, I smiled a bit too.

_10 months, 12 days until my 18th birthday_. I could survive 10 months and 12 days living with Esme and Carlisle. Perhaps they would put me in the opposite wing, far from Edward in their massive house and I could completely forget he and I even lived together. That would be ideal.

Later that aftenroon, Esme was wheeling my wheelchair-bound ass out of the hospital towards her silver Mercedes Benz. I was still in shock from everything as she explained on the drive to their home how everything had been a fairly easy process since Charlie had put everything in order long ago, just in case something happened to him why on duty and Renee was unable to take care of me. For once I was relieved at Charlie's responsibleness.

As we approached the driveway, I pulled down the visor to take a look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were nearly swollen shut, and my lip was about twice it's size, with bruises of various shades dotted sporatically on my face. Great, I was a bruised Mrs. Potato Head. Fan-fucking-tastic. I tried to smile, but it felt fake and made me slightly nauseous to even attempt. I felt Esme run her hand down the back of my head. "Bella hun, you've got the same strength in you as your mom and dad had. Everything will heal, in time."

I couldn't help but feel she was referring to more than just my bruises.

I sighed and nodded slowly, stepping out of the vehicle as she dashed around and grabbed the single crutch from the back seat. It took a few stumbling attempts, but I finally mastered walking using the overgrown toothpick as I got used to leaning to one side. She stood at the bottom of the 3 steps and helped me get up them without falling on my face. I went back to using the crutch as we took the few steps from the stairs to the front door where Carlisle was standing with the door wide open and a genle smile plastered on his face. "Bella, welcome" his voice was just as soft was Esme's and I wondered if they practiced their tone in the car on the way to the hospital. I forced another small smile as I stumbled inside, tripping over the small step at the door. Carlisle grasped my good arm to steady me before I had a chance to faceplant onto their hardwood floors.

I smiled a weak "thank you" and snapped my head to my side as I heard an infamous chuckle coming from the living room.

"Didn't hurt yourself enough the first time, Swan?"

**EPOV**

Only Swan would trip while on crutches and supported by another human being.

The girl was fucking hopeless.

"Edward!" My mother scolded, shooting daggers at me over Bella's shoulder.

I just shrugged at them and leaned up against the door frame. Fuck, she looked even worse than yesterday. She was so swollen and bruised... literally within an inch of her life. And on top of it, she was starting to turn bright red from being mad at me that it just _looked_ fucking uncomfortable. Not gonna lie, I kind of felt like an ass after that. I sighed, and ran a hand through my hair.

"C'mon Swan; I'll take you upstairs."

She narrowed her eyes at me and I could see her knuckles go white as they gripped the handles on the crutches.

"Thank you, Honey, that's such a help." My mother said, stepping away from Bella slowly, and pushing my father into the kitchen. "Holler if you need anything; I'll make you both some thing to eat and run it up in a bit."

They left the foyer and I turned back to Bella, who had her stupid brown eyes trained on me. I took a step closer and she pulled away a little.

"Get the fuck away from me, Cullen."

I scoffed, "Easy, Swan. I don't want to touch you either but you have to get your ass up the god damn stairs, and since apparently, you're a fucking cripple, I have to help you. So for once, please shut your fucking mouth?"

I shut my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Why the fuck does she always have to bring out the asshole in me? Why can't she just be... human occasionally? I opened my eyes again when I realized that she had actually managed not to speak yet. But when I saw her, I kind of felt like shit.

Her eyes were wide and they looked... moist. Like she was going to cry or some shit. What the fuck Swan? Way to get all soft on me all of a sudden.

"Fuck, Cullen, I'm sorry my parents had to go and DIE and you have to get my crippled ass up the fucking stairs. I'm sorry this is all so terrible FOR YOU!"

Her bottom lip was trembling and she was shaking a bit. All I knew was that I had to fix this; and soon before my mother beat my ass. Then I watched in disbelief as she hobbled over to the stairs and I could tell she was trying to figure out how to get up them. I sighed and went over to her, and before she had a chance to protest of pull away, I scooped her up in my arms and waited for her crutches to fall to the ground with a crash before I looked over to her. She was surprisingly calm.

"What are you doing" She asked, her voice no louder than a whisper.

"Taking you up the fucking stairs. Put your arm around my neck."

To my utter amazement, she did. No fight. No fuck you. No... nothing. She just fucking did it.

Huh.

I started up the stairs slowly, and I could feel the exact spot where her arm was resting on the fabric of my shirt. It felt like her skin was branding mine; which would make sense because she was the spawn of satan. I got to the top of the stairs and my breath kept getting more and more shallow, not because of carrying Swan but because of my destination. The guest room.

Bella was going to be living in the guest room.

Right across the fucking hall.

I sighed, and once she realized where we were she groaned. "You have got to be kidding me."

**BPOV**

Seriously, what the fuck had I done to deserve this?

First my parents.  
Then living with Edward.  
Then, not only _living_ with him but being right across the fucking hall?

That's a wrap, I'm done. Where's the Candid Camera guy?

I looked at him and rolled my eyes. "Fucking perfect."

"I knew you would think so Swan, but I think this is a new level of Hell."

No shit Sherlock.

I wiggled, trying to get free from his grasp without tumbling to the floor. He leaned his head back, I'm sure fearful of my _one_ swinging arm. "Woah, slow down. I'll put you down, just stop fucking convulsing."

Stopping my movements entirely, he bent his knees a bit until my good leg was firmly planted on the ground. As his hand moved up to keep me balanced his thumb swiped the bare skin that was exposed just below my t-shirt hem line. I felt a shiver go down my spine at the contact and thought that for a brief second his thumb didn't move, in fact it felt like he traced a small circle in the spot before moving up to hold onto my shoulder.

"You sure you can hop to your door from here? It's a whole 3 feet, you may not make it without breaking something else," he taunted. I huffed, and hopped once, wobbling a little, but remaining vertical. I turned and smirked in triumph as I took another hop. This one wasn't as steady and before I knew it his arm was around my waist, holding me up.

"God, you're completely useless," he whispered with distaste as he helped me hop into my new room. I turned my back to my bed once we reached a close enough distance to where I could easily fall back onto it.

Did I _have_ to say thank you? I mean he had said he was doing it to stay in good graces with his parents, so technically it was for selfish reasons. I stared down at the floor and looked back up at him. His eyes were narrow and he looked fucking ticked off.

"Listen, thanks for you know, not letting me kill myself getting up the stairs."

He grinned, "If I knew that would have been a possibility, I would have let you try."

What a fucking ass.

The weight of his words hit me unusually hard, and my eyes welled up with tears. My mind flooded with images of my parents and _fuck_ it should have been me and not them. And why the fuck couldn't he just be _less_ of a dick right now? I wasn't even asking for him to be civil, just not a _complete_ fucking asshole.

His face softened as a tear rebelled against me and dropped down my cheek.

"Fuck, Bella. Christ, don't fucking cry. I'm sorry, I wasn't.. I didn't. _Fuck_." He ran a stiff hand through his hair, as his other arm remained snaked around my waist loosely, holding me up.

I swallowed down the rest of my tears and wiped away the wet spot from my cheek. "No, it's fine. Whatever. Can you just go now? I said thank you, that about fills my be-polite-to-Edward quota for the year," I snapped back bitterly, looking down at his arm that was still touching me.

His eyes looked down at he jolted himself away quickly, as if he had completely forgotten where his arm was.

And why the fuck did my skin feel like it was on fire? Ugh, he probably had some new STD that hadn't even been discovered yet that was contagious and spread through skin-to-skin contact.

"You're such a fucking bitch, Swan," he growled as he turned and walked out of the room slamming the door shut.

Way to be fucking melo-dramatic pretty boy.

I crashed down onto my bed and closed my eyes wicing as the shooting pain returned to my shoulder.

Funny, when Edward had been touching me, I hadn't felt it at all. Ew, gross. Maybe the undiscovered STD also had a numbing side effect.

I rolled my eyes and pulled out the bottle of painkillers from my pocket, popping 1 more than the doctor had suggested.

Sleep. All I needed was sleep and to forget where I now lived.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey!!**

**So thanks ever so much for the fantabulous response to the last one... and yeah, I know Edward's a shit... but he'll get better soon.... maybe.  
Yeah what she said. But Bella still hates Edward so until he pulls the stick out a little more (or is it her crutch?) then Bella's not gonna give it up - oooo double entendre.  
Reviews = Love  
Us = Don't own but SMeyer does**

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**BPOV**

I woke up to the sound of The Eagles blaring _Hotel California_ so loudly through the walls that I was pretty sure I could see my nightstand rattling. Who the hell was blasting that? Charlie _hated_ 70s rock, he thought the entire decade was full of crap music. I opened my eyes and couldn't recognize a single item. I sat up looking around the room in a slight panic, trying to recall where exactly I was. At the sight of my suitcases against the wall beside the door it hit me. _I was at the Cullens. I lived with the Cullens. Mom and Charlie were _gone.

Holy hell that's a crappy way to wake up. The only good thing about remember where I was, was knowing without a doubt _who _was playing the music so loudly. I checked the time on the alarm clock that sat on the nightstand - 10:44. Okay, so it wasn't ass-crack of dawn but pretty close, since it was Sunday. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and reached for the crutch that was leaning against the bedframe. I hobbled out of the room like the gimp I was and hopped across the hall to where Edward's door was wide open. I peeked inside - no Edward. The fucker was blasting music and he wasn't even forcing _himself_ to listen to it. I smirked to myself and hobbled over to his stereo where I ejected the CD and took pen that was sitting on top of his stereo to scribble around it.

"What the hell are you doing in my room Swan?" Edward's voice shouted

I looked up from where I was doodling on his album and my breath halted. He was freshly showered, a dark green towel hanging low on his hips as water droplets fell from his hair that was already styled in the i'm-total-sex way it usually was. Was that butterflies in my fucking stomach? Ugh, no probably nausea at having to see _that_ first thing in the morning. I won't even lie, he did look good though. But no, me ogling _Edward_? Hell to the no.

His lips turned up into a cocky smirk. "Like what you see Swan?" I rolled my eyes.

"No, I was refraining from speaking until I could ensure I wouldn't vomit from the sight of you."

"Riiiight... well hell if that's all it took to get you to stop talking so much shit I would walk around like this all the time. I know the girls at school would go bat shit crazy if I did."

"Yeah, you'd probably come home with more diseases than the CDC has on file."

"Shit Swan, people don't fuck without protection these days. Oh right, you wouldn't know because you're a cocktease."

"I'm not a cocktease; I just don't spread my legs for anyone who asks."

Edward rolled his eyes and walked further into his room. "Whatever. Back to my original question, what the hell are you doing in my room?"

I adjusted the crutch under my arm and limped over towards the doorway. "I heard your music playing this morning and wanted to _thank you_ for such a great good morning soundtrack," I grinned tilting my head towards his stereo.

His eyes widened and he practically sprinted to his stereo. "What the fuck did you do to my stereo Swan? I swear to god if you broke it..."

"Hold your horses you asshat. I didn't touch your stereo, though if I knew _how_ to break it I probably would have. I just left a gift for you in it."

He glanced from me to the stereo and back. "Did you put a detonating device in there? Is my room going to be a goner?"

I rolled my eyes. He was as dumb as a fucking doorknob. "No Mr. Melo-drama. But have fun with your new compilation cd."

I turned on my good heel and scooted back towards my room, slamming it shut as I fell back onto the bed with a thump. No sound came from his room, and I was thankful for the peace and quiet as I shut my eyes and tried once again, to forget where I was.

**EPOV**

Fucking... shit.

She was absolutely insane. She had to be. When she got hit over the fucking head, she must have lost her last brain cell because this was seriously fucked up. You do no t come between a man and his music.

Ever.

She was going to pay.

I dropped the towel and went to get dressed so I could go yell at her, but then decided against it. I saw the look in her eye before; she wanted it. That was the look girls always gave me at school. They all thought that because I was pretty and popular I got around. But I didn't.

Couple blow jobs here and there, but I had yet to, erm, lose it.

Not for any particular reason, just that I figured there had to be something better than Stanley out there.

There just _has _to be.

I grabbed a pair of fresh boxers and pulled them on before heading across the hall and throwing open the door.

"Swan, what the fuck are you doing?"

she turned quickly and her eyes widened as she took in my apparel. "What do you mean?"

I snorted at her and tried to asses the situation. She was standing beside her bed, looking at it like it was going to eat her alive.

"You look like you're about to die or some shit."

It was her turn to snort. "So what? You came for front row seats?"

Not gonna lie, I felt another one of those bitch ass tugs when she said that. Did my brain not realize that standing before me was Swan: Queen of the bitch people?

Apparently not because I actually grunted at the pain of it.

Shit.

"Well, since this is an impromptu death it doesn't seem like I need a ticket, and unfortunately for you, there doesn't appear to be any seating."

"So maybe that's you're cue to turn your diseased ass around and leave?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. This was obviously going to be more difficult than I assumed. I sucked it up and took the few steps over to her and offered my arm. She looked at it like it was a snake.

"What am I supposed to do with that, Cullen? Catch some new kind of crabs?"

I rolled my eyes and tried not to look at her. "No. I'm going to help you into bed."

"You're _going to help me?_ Pretty sure of your self there. I'm surprised they let you out of the cave this week."

I hate it when she calls me a Neanderthal. It's bull shit on ice. All I do is what I think is best and she's always fucking contradicting me.

Can't she ever just... agree? Would it really be that difficult?

Apparently so, because I saw her inching away from me slowly.

_Fine, Swan, you want a caveman? Well, you got one._

I reached out for her, but she gasped and jerked back, losing her balance. My arms shot out reflexively and I pulled her into me, and because I'm perpetually fucked over by this girl, she managed to tangle her crutches and trip me.

Yeah, she would.

I fell back onto her bed and pulled her with me, landing so that she was on my chest. I looked down at her, and she slowly turned to look back up at me. Her eyes were wide with... something, and I could se the freckles on the bridge of her nose again. That fucking burning was back, too, but this time it was all over my body. Fucking Hell, this girl.

Then she had to go and fucking fidget.

I groaned to myself as I felt myself get hard.

Shit.

Even my dick had jumped ship. Fuck. Swan had bewitched my dick.

Traitor.

I quickly pushed her off of me, and didn't turn around as I hurried to the door.

"Stay the fuck away from my shit, Swan."

Then I slammed the door behind me. I didn't look back once.

At least my eyes were still team Edward.

**BPOV**

What the fuckity fuck was that?

Oh right, Cullen's _dick_. I couldn't help the hysterical laughter at the thought. Only Cullen would get a woody from a crippled girl falling on him. God, it probably went up whenever a strong gust of perfume hit his nose.

Well at least he did get me on the bed; Mission Accomplished TwatWard.

I reached for my beat up copy of Wuthering Heights that I had placed on the nightstand. Nothing like reading the same book so much you can receite pages of it from memory.

I had hustled through over 100 pages when there was a knock. Ugh, Edward a-fucking-gain, right?

"Go away Edward, I didn't mess with any of your other shit."

"Bella? It's not Edward. It's me, Angela."

Oh thank god, finally someone who wasn't a douche.

"Oh! Come in!" I said quickly, sitting up against the headboard.

She opened the door slowly, peeking in before strolling over and sitting beside me and half-hugging me. I hugged back with my good arm and smiled. It felt so good to see an ally instead of the enemy.

"God Bella, we were... we _are_ so worried about you. How are you holding up?" She asked pulling away and sitting with her legs crossed on my bed.

I shrugged. "I'm okay. Despite everything," I said nodding my head towards Edward's door, "it's not too bad. I'm glad I had somewhere to go. And Mr. & Mrs. Cullen taking me in was really sweet of them to do. They were so close to my parents that it feels like I'm still close to them, you know?"

She smiled a little and nodded. "Yeah, that was really sweet of them. It's just too bad that they produced Edward. I just don't get it; they're so nice and Edward is just..."

"The most arrogant, self-centered asshole to have ever lived?"

"Pretty much."

I sighed, trying to weigh the pros and cons quickly of telling her about his not-so asshole moments. "Actually Ang, he's been... not as bad as he could be."

Her eyesbrows raised up quickly, "what you mean he's not always a jerk?"

"No, I think he's nice when it comes to parents. He doesn't want them on his ass so he's been a smidge less of a prick. Like he helped me up the stairs yesterday, which was pretty cool. Even though he only did it so his parents wouldn't get on his case."

"Well I guess that's... admirable?"

"Well it is when you're Edward and don't know how to do anything nice except for when it'll be for your benefit."

She nodded in agreement and waited a beat before speaking again. "So really Bells, how are you? Do you need anything?" She took my hand inbetween hers and looked at me sympathetically.

I shook my head. "No, I'm good Ang, really. It's just surreal you know? Like I keep having to tell myself over and over that they're gone. Because it just doesn't _feel_ like they are. It feels like they're on a improptu vacation and I'm staying here while they're gone. It doesn't feel real yet. Occasionally it'll hit me and if I'm standing I'll literally stumbled over with the realization. But I just don't think my mind is ready to have to realize it and be conscious of it _all _the time. Especially when I have to stay on my toes around Edward. I mean hell, he gives me so much shit _now_ imagine what he would do if he fucking saw me in mourning. I'd never hear the end of it."

"Yeah, I get it. I mean, maybe you're selling him short though? Maybe he wouldn't make fun of you for it? I mean Bella come _on_ he can't be that big of an ass to give you a hard time when you're grieving."

"I don't know Angela, he _hates me_. And I don't even know why; I think that's one of the most frustrating parts. He's so rude and condescending and just -"

"Bells," Angela interruped nudging her chin up a little, towards the door.

Great. Fucking great. I turned my head slowly, already knowing who was there.

Edward.

**EPOV**

I just fucking stared at her.

Bella looked so... annoyed that I was even here.

Why did I hate her? Why the fuck did I hate her?

Well, honestly, I didn't; I was always under the impression that she hated me. She set the terms of this fucked up game ever since the unmentionable fifth grade incident; the moment she became not-so-bella, if you know what I mean.

I narrowed my eyes at her, completely ignoring Angela.

"What, Cullen? You done jacking off?"

Fucking christ, Swan. I can't even come in and apologize for acting like an ass fuck?

No apparently, I couldn't.

"Whatever," was the brilliance that came out of my mouth as I turned and went back into my room. I slammed the door behind me, and seethed for what felt like an eternity. How could she think that all of this shit was my fault? How could she blame all of this on me? She's the one taking jabs at me every chance she got.

But, now, like I said, shit had changed.

My dad was right; Bella was an orphan. She didn't have anybody anymore. She was alone.

How could she possibly think that I could ever _ever_ make fun of her while she was mourning?

I mean, I might joke about her being less than human and the spawn of satan, but fuck; I know when to turn it off. I could've done that shit if she wanted me to.

But the part that freaked me out the most?

I had no idea what we were supposed to do next.

Obviously we couldn't continue like this, but at the same time, I didn't see any way for us to be friends. She thought she knew who I was, and frankly, I didn't feel like expending the energy to make her think different. I wouldn't be worth it. She'd end up thinking it was all some kind of scam to get into her pants, which would turn into a shit ton of extra bull shit that I didn't need. Swan's pants were the very last place I _ever_ wanted to be.

Ever.

She was the only girl I could unwaveringly say I didn't want.

Ugh, it makes me shudder just thinking about it.

Gross.

I walked over to my window, and I saw one of the massive trees in our back yard. I could see myself and Swan, running around underneath it when we were little. We used to play together all the time, and I remember thinking that she wasn't so bad sometimes.

But then she became incorrigible.

I sighed and turned away from the window, then flopped onto my bed.

I felt like such an idiot for wanting to apologize to someone who so obviously couldn't care less.

And almost in the same instant I felt incredibly sad for letting it get this far.

It's funny how hate can all of a sudden become reflexive; how you can say something to someone and not even really mean it. I slammed my fist into the bed as Bella's angry and annoyed face sprang to mind again.

She definitely meant it.

She wasn't playing a game like I had been.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: So... a lot gets touched on. Some laughing, some awkwardness, some sadness. It's a bowl full of mixed fruit here peeps.

You're excited, aren't you? You're probably thinking to yourself "why am I reading this? I want the chapter!" Well, you're reading it cause this is that part where I tell you you're fucking spectacular for reviewing for us... seriously, love that shit hardcore.

Now, proceed... but keep in mind, we don't own jack shit... it's all some lady who spells her name kinda funny

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**EPOV**

I spent the rest of the afternoon alone in my bedroom, doing my homework and waiting for my mother to call me down to dinner. I was over trying to be Swan's adversary, and I had decided to just... disregard her, for lack of a better word. She'd be like a wart; always there, and annoying but easily avoided when you put a band-aid over it. You could almost pretend it wasn't there. And that's exactly what I'd be doing.

"Edward?" I heard my mother knock on the door. "Honey, it's time for dinner; help Bella downstairs, would you?"

I sighed and nodded, lifting myself from the floor and moved over to her door. I knocked quickly, "Bella?"

"Come in."

I opened the door, and she was sitting on her bed, reading a book. I really didn't care which one. There wasn't too much that Swan could do at this point to get my attention.

"It's time for dinner," I said as I moved toward her. "I'll take you downstairs."

"Cullen, I--"

"It's fine, Bella. Give me your arm so I can help you up."

She looked at me quizzically, but I ignored it. I really didn't give a fuck what she thought at this point. Then she looked from my limp arm to the edge of the bed.

"Um, Edward? How are we going to do this?"

I sighed and realized that she had a point. "Hold out your arms."

She did, and I hitched one around the back of my neck as I slipped my arms underneath her and lifted her off the bed. "W-what about my crutches?" she asked.

I shrugged and shifted her a little in my arms, "You're only going to the dining room; I'll bring you back up afterward."

"What if I want to watch a movie after?"

"I'll bring the TV to your room and set you up."

I started carefully down the stairs, and I tightened my grip on her ever so slightly. She whimpered a little in response. "Are you alright?"

She looked up at me, her brow furrowed. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I'm not."

"Yeah, you are."

"No. I'm just treating you like a guest. Since that's what you are, after all."

I could still feel her staring at me, but I brushed it off. Like I said, I didn't really care what she thought. We arrived at the kitchen table a few seconds later, just as my mother was putting the last of the serving dishes on the table. My father saw us walk in, and he chuckled a little to himself.

"Edward, you don't have to carry her everywhere, you know. I'm sure Bella's perfectly capable."

I shrugged and put her in a chair, "It's just easier this way."

I settled across from her, and I noticed that that stare of hers was back in full force. I shot her a menacing glare, and she backed off, thank God. I couldn't sit through an entire dinner dealing with that shit. My mother sat down and we began passing the bowls around and I could tell that my mother had something to say. Sure enough, once everyone was settled with their food she cleared her throat.

"I just wanted to let everyone know that the funeral arrangements are in place." I saw Bella tense out of the corner of my eye. "And it looks like everything will be happening this tuesday."

"But that's only two days from now." Bella said, pushing her food around her plate with her fork. "Does it have to be so soon?"

My mother smiled back at her, trying to hold back her tears. "Yes, dear. I'm so sorry."

There was a little moment of silence as we all absorbed the information, and I was vaguely aware of Bella's foot tapping lightly over my own. It wasn't painful or anything, but I could tell that she was nervous; she was holding something back. So I let her do it. It wasn't bothering me, and apparently it was keeping her from bawling all over the kitchen table, so I didn't say anything. My parents kept the conversation light after that; about the weather or some shit, and neither Bella or I contributed. I didn't fucking care. It's Washington; it rains, we get it. Moving on. Bella dropped her utensils onto the pate, but didn't look up.

"Are you done?" I asked her, nudging the foot she'd left resting on top of mine to get her attention.

She gasped and her eyes went wide as she stared back at me, "Y-yeah. I'm sorry, I didn't k--"

I cut her off with the scraping of my chair against the floor, then I took her plate and mine over to the sink, where I rinsed them and put them in the dishwasher. I went back around the table, without saying a word and she held her arms out to me. At least she was getting with the program now. I scooped her up and walked out of the room, but then she put her head on my shoulder and I felt a damp heat on my neck. Fuck, she was crying.

"Bella? Are you crying?"

"N-no."

Yeah, that was really convincing. "Bella..."

"It's nothing. Really."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded into my neck and I left it at that. If she didn't want to talk about it, I wasn't going to pry. It wasn't like we were friends or anything. I put her back in her bed, and pulled the covers up around her.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" I asked her. She nodded. "What are you in the mood for?"

"It doesn't matter; you pick."

I sighed and went back out of her room and into mine to grab a movie. I picked _Mr. and Mrs. Smith_; I knew it was her favorite, then I went back down stairs to get the little TV out of the garage where my dad had at his work bench. It wasn't anything fancy, but it had a DVD player, so it worked. I brought it back up to her room, and set it up, pausing it at the opening titles before handing her the remote.

"Do you need anything else?" I asked, walking toward the door.

"Do... do you think that maybe you'd want to watch it with me?" She asked.

I stayed turned away from her, with one hand on the door knob. "Bella, you don't want me to stay."

"Well, I mean, I know you like this movie, and I just don't really feel like being alone--"

"Bella, you need a friend; and that's not me." I opened the door and stepped through, shutting it softly behind me as I pulled out my cell phone. If Bella didn't want to be alone, I could at least make sure she wouldn't have to be.

After all; isn't that what a good host does?

She finally picked up on the third ring, "Edward?"

"Hey, Alice."

"What's up hot stuff?" You sing Hot Stuff _once_ on a dare in the seventh grade, and suddenly you're branded for life.

"Can you come over and sit with Bella? She needs company."

I heard her giggle, "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. I just thought she'd rather have a friend."

"You're her friend."

I closed the door to my room and flopped down on the bed. "No, I'm not. We were never friends."

"Oh, I can think of a time."

"People change."

"Aren't you supposed to say that when you break up?"

"For all intensive purposes, we are."

She sighed into the phone, "Edward, why are you doing this to her?"

"Excuse me?"

"Cut the shit. You need to stop treating her like she has the plague, if for no other reason than that her parents are DEAD. Edward, you can't even imagine the pain she's going through; none of us can. She doesn't need to deal with that on top of the shit you throw at her on a daily basis. She just doesn't need it."

I shut my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I know, Alice. So now I'm just staying out of her way. Unless she needs something. Like right now she needs a friend. You gonna step up?"

She was silent for a minute, and I could tell she was fuming. She wanted me to get mad; yell and scream and tell her that she was wrong, then break down. But it wasn't going to fucking happen. I didn't feel anything for Swan anymore. Not hate, not love, not like; I was just... ambivalent. And so far it seemed to be working out.

"I'll be there in five," I heard Alice mumble before she clicked off. I snapped my phone shut and threw it down on the bed, not really wanting to deal with it anymore. I was effectively not myself anymore. I wasn't free to do the things I wanted to do or even say the things I wanted to say. Like right now, I wanted to run into the other room and tell Swan she was being an insufferable bitch and that she'd do to be a bit nicer to me, if she wanted a little of the same. But deep down, i knew that wasn't right because a moment like that would make her break, and honestly I didn't want to witness that. I wasn't sure how to handle a situation like that. I wasn't sure I wanted to. I sighed and rolled over onto my side so that I was staring at the closed door and imagined Swan watching her movie, and probably crying a little. Any other guy would've just stayed there and watched the movie with her, and maybe even coaxed her problems out of her. But I wouldn't. And frankly, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want that shit from me.

**BPOV**

I was completely uncomfortable. With Edward. With this house. With my fucking self, alone. I normally loved "me" time where I could just do what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted. But here, in this strange house the alone time was overpowering and damn near suffocating.

And what the fuck was with Edward? Were his parents slipping something into his water to make him less of a cuntrag? Maybe he was bi polar and this was one of his two moods; the other being SuperbTwatWard. I couldn't wait the 7 more weeks to get my leg back to normal working condition. The sooner Edward could stop pretending to be nice to me, the sooner things would go back to normal. _Well as normal as they'd ever be from here on out_.

I mean seriously, what was _with_ him? Being so nice he's carrying me up and down the stairs like I weigh less than his backpack one minute, and the next storming out of my room after I invite him - no practically _beg him_ to watch a stupid movie with me?

Sitting up proved to be difficult and standing was damn near impossible, but I had to use the bathroom and I'd rather wash my face with battery acid than ask Edward to help me. After what felt like an hour, I finally hobbled my handicapped self to the bathroom. I hadn't really looked at myself yet, but the image that stared back at me wasn't one I would have recognized. The bruises were everywhere. my face, my neck, along my collarbone. Delicately, I managed to lift my shirt up and over my head, sniffing at the sour stench my skin had; definitely shower time. The bruises got lighter until they were all but gone around my midsection. I looked like a kid had taken blue, yellow and purple fingerpaint and went to town on my body. Splotches here, a perfectly round bruise there. None of them really _hurt_, there was more an overall sense of _fuck i'm sore_ everywhere. I was rough with my skin as I cleansed it.

I was rinsing off what had happened, even though I could still see the bruises.  
I was scrubbing off what little memories I had of what happened.  
I was cleaning any bits of Edward off of me, because if I thought too much about it, I would feel like I had to thank him.

And if there was one thing Edward _never_ deserved it was my gratitude; not after what happened in 5th grade.

After scrubbing my hair with the strawberry shampoo Esme had graciously put in the bathroom that Edward and I shared, I rinsed off and cautiously stepped out of the shower. My skin was now equally covered in purples and yellows as it was in splotches of red from the temperature and ferocity at which I washed myself.

I threw on the pink bathrobe that I assumed the Cullens had left for me (because it if was Edward's I would _have_ to give him shit for it; there was no other way) and gently bent down, wincing as shooting pain raced through my chest and my broken ribs. I took a few deep breaths and stood up walking towards my bedroom.

"Bella!"

I heard her voice before I even saw her; but I couldn't hide the _woosh_ that escaped my mouth as she pulled me into a hug that even me in a healthy state would find painful. "Alice, crushing... ribs... more" I puffed out. She pulled away immediately and looked up at me wide-eyed.

"OMIGOD BELLA! I'M SO SORRY! I WASN'T THINKING!! OMIGOD!"

I couldn't help but laugh and then winced as the motion caused my ribs to once again tighten.

It felt like eons since I had laughed, so I pushed the pain aside and shook my head.

"Did Angela call you? Is this another pity visit? Did you at least bring alcohol?"

She shook her head closing the door behind us. "No, no, and DUH!" she said looking at me as if I were special ed.

I stepped into the walk in closet and peeked around. Esme must have unpacked all my bags while Edward was helping me up the stairs. I closed the closet door so I could dress in privacy.

"It better be strong."

"No Bella, after all you've been through I brought you fucking _winecoolers_."

After I had changed into a pair of yoga pants and a tank top I stumbled back out to my bedroom. Fucking 1-arm crutch.

She helped me walk and sit back onto my bed before pulling out a bottle of tequila from her purse that I swore was bigger than her body.

"Do you pull rabbits out of that thing too?"

"No, just kimono dragons," she deadpanned.

I stared at her.

She stared at me.

And the laugher started all over again.

When our laughter had subsided she cracked open the bottle and handed it over. "Ladies first."

I won't even lie, I chugged that thing like a pro, not even thinking about how bad it tasted. I pulled my mouth away from the bottle and coughed a bit, realizing that I had drank a lot less than I thought. God that shit was awful; especially straight.

She looked at me, giggling. "Damn Bells, you're going to be passed out cold before I've even had my turn."

I shook my head. Not fucking possible. My mind was racing. From my parents and that night to Edward and today.

The bottle was over 1/2 gone and we were laughing like hyenas. The best part was I had no idea why.

All I knew was the pain was gone, or at least dulled to the point that I didn't care.

"I SWEAR ALICE, he came outta nowhere and was like BAM HERE I AM LOOKING ALL SEXY IN A TOWEL, NOW WHAT?"

Her mouth dropped and she covered it with her hand laughing hysterically.

"You saw Edward with no clothes!? You need to get tested, he probably has like the gonorrhea version of pink eye - just looking at his skin directly will give you an STD."

"I KNOW RIGHT?!"

She fell onto her side and laughed even harder.

"Ow Bella..." she said unable to stop the giggles "stop... it hurts... the laughing... it.... hurts!" That of course set off a new fit.

After a few minutes they subsided and we were both wiping tears from our eyes.

"So seriously, he's hot underneath it all?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

I sighed and took in another swell of tequila before responding. "Honestly? It's almost worth the potential hazard to my health."

"Almost?"

"Well he didn't _drop_ the towel, so I can't be sure." I covered my mouth as I heard the words leaving it.

The laughter began all over again and she swatted my arm, falling into me. Probably re breaking a rib or two, but who cared? I didn't feel it. And I sure as hell didn't hear Edward open my door.

God _why_ was he always doing that?

**EPOV**

God, she was a dip shit.

I fucking told Alice to fucking keep her company, and what does she do? The little twat pixie gets her drunk. What the fuck? And if they hadn't been so fucking loud, I probably wouldn't have noticed. But the scene I found... fuck, I wouldn't wish that on anybody. They were doubled over laughing and holding onto each other like a fucking life jacket, and Swan was saying some shit about... a towel?

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, and going over to her side of the bed. I picked up the nearly empty bottle of tequila and then realized that they were both staring at me with incredibly huge incredibly drunk eyes.

"Bella..."

"Edward," she said in a mock serious voice. I wasn't getting anywhere.

I sighed again and held out my arms to her, hoping that she would just get the fuck in them and not ask any questions. But no. No... no. She fucking swatted them away.

"How come you're being soooooooo nice to me all of a sudden? Hmm? What happened to twatward?"

Okay.

Excuse me?

Twatward?

What the fuck is that?

Alice broke out into hysterics again and started rolling around on the bed. Bella joined shortly there after. I tried to reign in my temper.

"Bella, please? If my parents catch you, there'll be hell to pay."

"Only on one condition."

I looked at her.

"You have to drop the towel." They both started howling at that, and frankly, I was lost. We weren't in the vicinity of any kind of towel, nor was I holding one to drop. Cause trust; I would've.

"Bella, you're incoherent."

"And you're a... a... Alice, what is he?"

"Gonorrhea."

"GONORRHEA!" Bella yelled, triumphantly. I wanted to die. I really, really did. That sentence didn't even _make sense._ I forced out a breath and just lifted her in my arms, not particularly caring that she was pounding her little hands into me and yelling at me to put her down. I went into my bedroom, and flopped her onto the bed.

"Hey! You can't just... _man handle_ me like that! I'm a lady, Cullen, and I don't need you're womanizing hands all over me!"

I couldn't hold it in at that point; I just fucking couldn't. I turned back toward her, and held my face no more than two inches from her's.

"First of all, I'd really appreciate it if you could act a little fucking civil for once in your life, and just accept that someone's trying to help you. I know it's me, and I know you hate me but you know what, Bella? Too fucking bad. Right now, I'm your only option, and I don't like it either but we're kind of stuck with it. And secondly, my sex life is none of your concern. The girls I see and the stuff I do with them does not effect you, so I'd be really _peachy fucking keen_ of you to cut the shit and shut the fuck up."

I was red with anger by then, and I was aware that my breath was coming out in frustrated pants. Then she did some more stupid shit.

"Kiss me..." she breaths.

I just rolled my eyes and walked away from her, locking the door from the inside on my way out. I went back across the hall to check on Alice, but she'd already passed out. I turned off the TV and the lights before closing her door, too. In the hallway, by myself, I took a few deep breaths to get over what had just happened. She just didn't know when to fucking stop, and apparently the minions weren't fucking helping.

Holy fucking hell.

I could hear Bella moving around in my bedroom, but I was too tired and frustrated to make sure she wasn't hurting herself. I figured I'd saved her enough for one night. So I went back downstairs and into the living room to sleep on the sofa.

Becuase if having my family and my unwilling servitude wasn't enough, Swan had my bed, too.

**BPOV**

I woke up the next morning with throbbing in my head and terrible cotton mouth. Ew, cotton ball morning break mouth. I sat up slowly, groaning as the pain in my head increased tenfold. I blinked a few times. I wasn't in my room. Where was Alice? Why was I in Edward's room?

Suddenly the night's events spilled over in my head. The laughing, the tequila, the towel, more tequila, ohmygod the almost kiss. I had fucking hit on Edward. I buried my face in my hands. Shit, balls and rock stars.

Fuck.

After berating myself for getting so obscenly drunk, I more or less crawled across the hall and peeked in my room to see if Alice was still asleep. The bed was made and the room didn't reek of liquor; instead it smelled like my shampoo. She must have showered and left early - fucking typical Alice; a morning person even when hungover.

I used the doorway to gain leverage and pull myself up to stand. Taking a deep breath I dragged my gimp leg along the floor and made my way to the bathroom, washing my face with lukewarm water and brushing my teeth. Can I just say how much I hate brushing my teeth while dehydrated?

When I was done I stared into my own eyes in the mirror. This was not how I acted. This was not Bella Swan. Bella Swan did not get drunk at the Cullens and certainly never got sloppy drunk and tried to kiss Edward. This wasn't me. I wasn't loud, or rude, or a messy drunk. At least I didn't think I was.

As I showered away the grimey, tequila smell from my skin I decided that the least I could do was apologize. I knew I fucked up. I at least partially knew I was fucking up as I said half the shit I remember saying to Edward. And no matter how much he hated me and treated me like shit, he had been nice yesterday and yesterday should have been the one time I didn't let my emotions get the best of me.

Using the banister for support, I slowly made my way down the stairs in search of Edward. I'm not sure why I hadn't considered tossing the crutch to the side for this before, but the banister was doing a fine job at keeping me vertical.

I felt like doing the Rocky Balboa dance as I made it to the bottom without falling or tripping once. Though I thought better than to chance my luck so I settled for a mental happy dance.

I peeked inside the living room and spotted Edward right away, sitting comfortably at the piano. I tried to be as quiet as I could, but it was no use. The cast clanked onto the hardwood foor with every step and Edward didn't even try and pretend to not hear me.

"So looks like alcohol gives you strength. Funny, how it has the complete opposite effect on everyone else," he said a pretentious smirk crossing his face.

I wouldn't give in. He had been nice. Do not cave and fall into the same pattern.

Instead I became very fascinated with my hands, fidgeting with them as I alternated weight between my good leg and the one in a cast - of which I'm sure I'd already broken through. "Listen, I didn't mean a lot of what I said last night. It was just, you know... the tequila."

He went back to looking at his sheets of music, pencil in hand as he made a note on one of the papers.

"Mhm, whatever."

"No really Edward, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I got it. You're sorry. It's fine; I know how people get when they're drunk. They say stupid shit. You said a lot of it last night."

"No, but Edward I'm sorry." God this man was not getting it through his skull. I don't think I'd ever apologize to him for anything ever before and here I was essentially groveling.

"I understand English, Bella. You're sorry. It's ok. You're absolved. We all get drunk and do & say dumb shit. You're not the exception; you're the rule."

I wasn't sure how to take that. Was he saying I was no better than your average teenage whore at a house party? That I was no better than Jessica? I took a deep breath, trying to remember how he'd been nice to me just the day before.

My mind was foggy with the events of the night before. Had I tried to do more than just kiss him? I hadn't thought so, but maybe I had? Fuck. Okay, well the fastest way to a man's heart was with flattery right?

I bit my lip. Where was the tequila when I needed it?

"And for the record, you'd be worth the hazard to my health. Even with only seeing you in the towel."

His eyes left his piece of paper and fixated on my face."What?"

I sighed, he was going to make me say it all over again, wasn't he? The ass. "I meant what I said about you and the towel. About being sexy or whatever..."

His mouth turned up into a Chesire grin. "You think I'm sexy?"

Argh, he was incorrigable. "Yes! Hello! I said all this last night... you were there, remember?"

His grin widened into a full on smile, complete with laugh as he shook his head. "No Bella, I wasn't."

**EPOV**

She turned beet red when I told her I wasn't there. God, she was too fucking easy. But then again, I already knew that. She'd had it written all over her face that day, and I'm not an idiot. She started fidgeting and stammering, and it was just too fucking painful to listen to so I cut her off.

"Bella, get over it. You gave me a compliment. Thank you. The end, okay?"

She looked up at me and her eyes were wide, like I had said something wrong. Whatever Swan. What fucking Ever. I turned back to my sheet music for a minute, until I realized that she was still standing there, like a cripple, staring at me.

"Bella, did you need something?"

"No."

_Okay, then why are you staring at me like I just told you the secret of life?_

I ran a hand through my hair, "Are you hungry?"

"A bit."

I pushed the bench out and made my way over to her, lifting her up again. She squeaked a little. "Edward, in case you hadn't noticed, I got down the stairs all by myself."

"Yeah, I know. This is just easier."

I dropped her at the kitchen table and went over to the fridge. "What do you feel like?"

"Pancakes."

"Bella, it's not a good idea."

"You can't make them, can you?" She taunted.

I sighed. "Do you really want them?"

I looked over my shoulder at her and she had a victorious smile across her face, "Yeah."

I pulled out the eggs and milk, and somehow I ended up making her pancakes. I was measuring the vegetable oil when she spoke again.

"When did you learn how to do this?"

"Hmm? Oh, well, sometimes when I was little, Dad would go to the hospitals on the weekends, and Mom would be out, so I'd have to make my own. Pancakes were always my favorite, even though waffles are easier."

I looked up at her, and she was watching me carefully... like she was waiting for me to screw up. But I wouldn't.

"I guess there's a lot we don't know about each other." She said in a small voice.

"I suppose." I poured the batter in the pan and watched it bubble.

"What else can you make?"

"Enough to keep me fed."

"Edward, I can't have a conversation by my self."

"No one's asking you to have one."

Oh, fuck. That broke the apathetic rule, huh? I flipped the pancake, then added another. "Look, Bella, I'm sorry. It's just that... I just think it's better if we weren't friends."

I flipped again.

"Why?" Flip. Pour.

"Because it just is. Let's not get into it; just let it be okay?" I flipped them all onto a plate and put them in front of her, with the syrup and a fork. She looked hurt, confused, and angry all in one.

"Look, let's just... do what we have to do to get through this okay?" I nudged the plate in her direction, but she still didn't say anything. I walked to the door and called over my shoulder.

"I'll be in the living room; holler when you're ready to go back upstairs."

**BPOV**

I stared at him. I thought he and I had gotten to a place where we could at least be civil and friend_ly_ maybe not best buds or anything, but shit. Fine, whatever.

I didn't even touch the pancakes and tried my best to hobble up the stairs as quickly as possible. It hurt and was uncomfortable, but no more painful then having to throw my pride out the window while Edward picked me up and carried me up the fucking things.

Finally I made it to my room and shut the door quietly. Now I was ready to be alone; I was ready to just let everything out. But I couldn't. I was emotionally fucking constipated. I needed to go back home, so I called the only person I thought would agree to helping me in my quest.

A couple hours of begging later, Emmett showed up at the door. I was trying to act as casual as I could on the sofa, thankful that Edward had all but sprinted to his room when I had meandered back down.

Unfortuantely even being a flight of stairs further away, he managed to beat me to the door.

"Em, hey! You come by to grab some food?"

Emmett looked from Edward to me and back again.

"Uh, no dude. I'm here to grab Bells."

It was Edward's turn to shift his gaze back and forth. "What for? you guys going to meet up with Rosalie?"

"Not exactly, but fortunately we're _not_ friends Edward so there's no need for you to know."

He shrugged, "Whatever. I just need to know what to tell my parents."

"Tell them we went to see Rosalie then."

"And where will you really be?"

"Again, need to know basis, Edward. And you _don't_ need to know."

"Fucking Christ you two..." Emmett interrupted. "It's like watching fucking ping-pong when you guys argue. Edward, we're going back to the Swan house. Bella - he needs to know what to tell your parents and I'm not about to lie to the only parents in this town that I can tolerate for more than 10 minutes."

I crossed my arms in front of my chest. Traitor. Way to _not_ tell Edward, like I asked you to on the phone.

"You're not going."

"The fuck you say," I snapped, grabbing Emmett's arm and nearly pushing him out the door.

The drive over was completely silent aside from Emmett's radio blasting top 40s. Ugh.

His truck rolled to a stop in front of my house. It looked eerily dark, lifeless.

"I know you said you wanted to do this on your own, but I can come if you want," his voice was softer, almost worried sounding.

I shook my head, biting my lip. "No, I need to do this. Thanks again for the ride, Em."

He nodded, "Sure thing Bells. Call me when you want me to get you."

"Um, I think I'm just going to attempt to drive my truck back to the Cullens."

"With a bum leg?"

I shrugged. "I think I'll be okay."

"Well... okay, Bells. But if you change your mind, call me."

"I will, promise," I said closing the door and starting the walk up to the house.

The door was locked, which I thought was stupid. We didn't have anything _really_ valuable in the house aside from my laptop and my mom's wedding jewlery. Nevertheless, I pulled out my keys and unlocked the door stepping inside.

It was cold and unfamiliar inside. The house was dark and creaked. My mother's voice wasn't happily pelting out oldies music, the sound of the TV where my dad would be sitting in the living room watching a game wasn't blasting into the foyer.

It was just me. That's all it would ever be from now on.

Just me.

I choked back the tears as I made my way up the staircase to my bedroom. A handful of days ago I would have been throwing a fit over what my parent's deemed a "clean" room as I shoveled everything under my bed and into my closet. I didn't even step inside. Instead I bypassed the bathroom and headed down the hall for my parents room. The door was closed and I cautiously opened it, as if they were in there and I may disturb a private moment.

But they weren't there; just like I knew they wouldn't be, but had nevertheless hoped.

The tears were becoming harder to swallow as I walked around the room. My dad's uniform was hung over the chair that sat at my mother's vanity. I sighed and on the inhale smelled my mother's flowery perfume that she said reminded her of the smell of the air on a rare sunny summer day in Washington. My eyes focused on a picture that was on their nightstand. It was the 3 of us, last summer on a camping trip up near the border. I was looking bored, but my parents looked as happy as a pair of clams.

I grabbed the photo and crawled onto their bed breathing them in. Their memories, their life, their love. They were such good people, and I wasn't. They didn't deserve what happened.

It should have been me, not them  
Why wasn't it me?  
It shouldn't have been them

I couldn't stop the tears that rattled my body, so I pulled knees up to my chest and cried into them.

Why couldn't it have been me and not them?


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Gotta give props to theotherbella for stayin up almost til sunrise to get this shit out. she's a friggin rockstar.  
We like reviews, it motivates us to not slack off. Also some of the ideas you kids throw out are hi-larious. Loves it.

Well, it wasn't really _sunrise_... it was just late. No big. But does that mean we get extra reviews for doing it??? Please??

Oh and yeah... we don't own jack shit... except for maybe a pair of laptops and a cell phone. And a latte. Or something.

* * *

**EPOV**

It had been four fucking hours. What could possibly be taking so long? And seriously, would it hurt for her to pick up the fucking phone?

Yeah, apparently, it would.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I would have to fucking go and get her before we both got in a shit ton of trouble. Fuck.

I grabbed my keys off the counter and got into the Volvo. I hated that I was always running after Swan now a-days. It was like I was her fucking keeper or some shit. I hated it, but at the same time, I knew it was necessary because in the long run, keeping Swan quiet and happy would keep my shit together.

Honestly, I couldn't take another major life upheaval.

I raced through town, which only took maybe ten minutes, because we live in the middle of no where, and when I pulled into the Swan's driveway Em's jeep was no where in sight.

Fucking dipshit.

If she had jumped ship without telling me, I'd... well I don't know what I'd do. Isn't that what I wanted?

I parked my car in the drive way, and all but sprinted up to the door. It was unlocked, though. I pushed it opened gently, but I wasn't assaulted by a crutch so I figured the coast was clear.

"Bella?"

No answer.

I looked around, but I didn't see her either. The house was eerily quiet, and at first I wondered if she'd already gone. But would she really have left the door open? No, probably not. I was starting to get seriously freaked out.

"Bella?" I tried again as i headed up the stairs.

Still nothing.

I paused at her bedroom door, which had been opened, but there wasn't any sign of her. I turned slowly and that's when i heard it.

Whimpering.

Mumbling.

All in a distinctly feminine voice that could make my blood boil. It was coming from her parents' bedroom.

She was really asking for it, huh?

I took one more deep breath as I turned toward the door. It was slightly a jar. She was in there. I knew it. I _felt _it.

I pushed open the door carefully. "Bella?"

I could hear the steady rhythm of her breath. But I couldn't quite see her in the diminishing light, but it was like I could almost hear her heart beat; like it was calling me to her. Then I saw her; well, no not her. Just the lump on her parents' bed that I was assuming was her. She was lying in the middle of it, her knees tucked under her chin (quite a feet, considering) and now that I was closer I could hear her voice.

"Bella, it's me..."

Still, nothing.

I went over to the other side of the bed so I could see her face, and I kind of... gasped. Her eyes were open, but not really focused on anything in particular, and they were bloodshot and puffy because she'd been crying. From the tear stains on her cheeks, she'd probably been like this for a while. I reached out and touched her shoulder.

"Bella?

She didn't say anything to me; just kept on seeing whatever the fuck it was in her mind. I patted her shoulder in what I thought might be a comforting way. I think. But she still didn't do anything. I sighed, heavily.

"Bella, I'm gonna pick you up and take you home, okay?"

"I am home." She whispered.

I stood up and looked at her, puzzled. Whatever. I held out my arms for her but she didn't take them; she didn't even move. I sighed again and laced my arms around her.

Well, that certainly got a reaction.

She started screaming--fucking screaming-- at the top of her lungs. Absolutely wailing at me, and saying that she wouldn't go. I kept trying to adjust my grip on her, to keep her from hurting herself even more, but the harder I held onto her, the more violently she reacted. Finally I just let go and she collapsed in a heap. Then came the sobbing. She just started to bawl on the bed. Huge, gut wrenching sobs were coming out of her; noises I didn't even think a person her size could have. Not gonna lie, I was more than a little scared. I had no fucking idea what to do. I had to get her out of there, but she clearly didn't want me to touch her. I ran a hand through my hair and looked down at her again. I just felt so... bad. She hurt. She was hurting. And I felt it; I don't know why, but I fucking felt it. I reached out to her again, but stopped dead when I heard her voice, no louder than a whisper.

"It was supposed to be me, wasn't it?"

"What?" I was confused.

"Me. It should've been me. No one needs me around; life might have been happier with me out of it."

"Bella..."

"Mike could have a girl who actually liked him, the Cullens wouldn't be stuck with a cripple, and Edward... Edward would be... relieved."

Relieved? I would be relieved if she had died? No. No, not really. I would be a lot of things, but _relieved_ wasn't one of them.

"Bella, don't say that. Don't ever say that. I know we've had... trouble, but I'd never be... happy if something like _that_ had happened to you."

I leaned over her a little, and her eyes came up slowly to focus on me and she was panting slightly. She was there... but she wasn't. I reached out for her again, but this time a little slower. I had an arm all the way around her waist when she latched an arm around my neck and stared to cling to me. It shocked the hell out of me, and I went tumbling back against the wall, with her on top of me. She didn't let me go. As we fell, she got the other arm around my neck, and buried her head in my chest. I was just stunned. I really didn't know what the hell to do. So I just let my instincts take over and I wrapped her in my arms and pulled her into me. And you know what? It really wasn't all that bad. Sure, she was getting my shirt wet and rubbing her snot in it, but at the same time, I didn't feel completely disgusted.

I let her sit there for a little while longer, but it was starting to get dark, and I knew my mother would flip a shit if she knew where we were. I shifted her in my lap, to which she whimpered and held me tighter. You know, for a chick who hated me, she sure had me in a death grip. Somehow I managed to push up off the floor and down the stairs without having to put her down. The car, though; that was the tough part.

"Bella, you have to let me go."

Nothing.

"Seriously. Let go."

Nothing. Not even a sniffle.

So I pried her hands from around my neck and slammed the door on her before she could go all spiderman on me and start to cling again. I got in and looked over at her, but she didn't say anything; just stared straight ahead and twisted her fingers in her lap. I just pulled out of her driveway and drove back home.

Not a fucking peep the entire time.

We pulled up to the house and I looked over at her again. More of the same. I sighed and got out, then headed over to her side and getting her out. She wrapped her arms around my neck again and I carried her up to her room, and put her in bed.

"Do you need anything?

"No," she said as she rolled over and away from me.

I sighed and got frustrated all over again. Here I was, trying to fucking help her and she just fucking blows me off.

Well, fine.

Whatever.

I'm over it.

I let myself out of her room and go into mine, locking the door. And then I realized something. Swan was getting to me. Bad. She was making me confused and angry and fucking terrified all at the same time.

The only thing is, I had no fucking idea why.

**BPOV**

I tossed and turned for what felt like hours. I was all cried out, but the pain in my chest hadn't subsided. There was pain everywhere but it was blanketed with numbness. The lonliness was overwhelming me again and there was only one thing I could do in this state to try and make it go away.

After nearly breaking the lamp on the nightstand and stubbing my toe a few times, I made it to Edward's door. This would be easiest if I could just be a total creep and sneak into his bed without having to worry about him finding me until tomorrow morning. Obviously, I wasn't in the right state of mind. Going to Edward for comfort? Right, that was smart. But I needed to not be alone, and whether I liked it or not he was the only person that could change that right now. My hand twisted the doorknob but nothing. He locked it; maybe he sensed my desperation and knew I would be apt to sinking to this level. Regardless I was left with no other choices; either leave and lie in bed alone with my thoughts until sunrise or knock.

So obviously, I banged on his door.

I heard him stirring and later rather than sooner he was opening the door staring right at me, emotionless. I bit my lower lip and looked down at my feet. Perhaps thinking this through would have been better. "I can't sleep," I confessed. When he didn't say anything, my eyes looked up to make sure he was still there. It'd be fucking pathetic if he had shut the door without me realizing it. But no, he was still there, still looking like a stone sculpture, still not talking.

"Would it be okay if I stayed in here for a bit?"  
He blinked his eyes once, then twice and tugged at the hair on the back of his head with one hand. "Sure, yeah.. I guess."

He stepped back opening the door further and I walked through glancing from his couch to his bed before walking to the side of the bed and hesitantly laying down. He walked over to the other side of the bed, grabbing the pillow in his arm.

"Where are you going?"  
"The couch."  
"Oh..."  
"I figured you should take the bed. The couch is comfortable; I sleep on it a lot."  
"No, I mean.. thank you. Just, I was hoping you could lay with me."  
He closed his eyes and he pinched the bridge of his nose, before looking up and nodding. He almost looked defeated.

The mattress shifted as he sat down and turned his head, glancing in my direction. He leaned back, his head falling onto the pillow with a _woosh_.

I turned to look at him from my position, laying stiffly on my back.

"Stop staring at me Bella, sleep," he grumbled quietly. I blushed at being caught, and bit my lip. His head turned and his eyes opened.

Green eyes of doom. No wonder the girls dropped their panties so freely; they probably dropped themselves if he looked at them the way he was looking at me right now.

Like he fucking cared or something totally offbeat like that. I was obviously seeing something. Was I seeing what I _wanted _to see? No. I just needed to feel cared for by _anyone_ right now and Edward was the only one around.

"What Bella?"

"I um, I was just wondering if I could..." I pointed towards his shoulder.

"Remove my shoulder?"

I shook my head and closed my eyes as I felt the heat spread over my cheeks. My voice was barely above a whisper, "I was wondering if I could rest my head there. Feel free to say no, I mean I get that this is really fucking weird for you.."

Before I had time to retract and scramble out of the room in sheer embarrassment, I felt his arm snake around my waist and pull me across the sheets to him. I bit my lip harder not to cry all over again, and pressed my face into the crook of his neck, one arm loosely resting across his chest as I half-laid on him. I inhaled deeply and fell asleep to the faint smell of what could only be described as heaven.

**EPOV**

"Just sleep, Bella; don't over think it."

I said that more to myself than to her. I had no idea what the fuck I was doing; or even what I was thinking at this point. I mean, this chick _hated _me, and she thought I'd be happier without her in my life. And yeah, okay, maybe I would, but the fact of the matter was that she _was_ in my life, and that's just the way it would be. Me tolerating her was like a life skill at this point. I was doing it just as much for her as I was for me. I tried to hold her as loosely as possible because I could smell that foul shampoo creeping its way into my nose. I hated that shit. So I put my chin on top of her head, and thankfully the smell was immediately diluted. But the motion brought her face in closer contact to my skin and I felt a damp heat from her breath. Fuck, she was crying again.

"Bella?" I tried to say her name softly, but instead it sounded hoarse and tired. "Why are you crying?"

"Let's chalk it up to PMS and leave at that." she sniffled. Okay, fine. She's just in my bed, wiping her nose on my shoulder but yeah, why should I know what the fuck's wrong? I'm just a stupid boy right? I don't have feelings and shit.

Fuck.

Maybe I have PMS, too.

I shrugged it off. If she didn't want to tell me I suppose she didn't have to; I couldn't make her. I did wish, though, that she would just tell _someone._ Because there is no fucking way I could do this every night; at least not with her.

I felt her tremble a couple more times before her breath evened out and I knew she'd fallen asleep. Because I'm the idiot of the year, I took a peek down at her. Fuck, did she look sad. Her brow was furrowed and her lips were moving, and she just looked completely unhappy. And the more I stared at her the more (as lame as this sounds) her unhappy became my unhappy.

Well fuck that shit.

I shook myself out of it and pulled away from her. I stood next to the bed and held my breath, hoping my hasty retreat hadn't made her wake up. She whimpered a little bit and her arms went searching for me. I held my breath, praying to God she'd stay asleep. She did, but once she realized I wasn't there she let out a ragged breath and her hand clenched into a fist. I sighed as I grabbed my pillow and set up camp on the couch. Swan's shit was her shit. I could handle the physical bullshit; the holding and the touching if I had to, but i was in no way responsible for her emotional well being. I didn't want to know about it or deal with it or even think about it. Let someone else handle; let someone else be there for her.

Because I was too fucking scared to do it myself.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: So.... i decided that I'm gonna plug, because ya know, I have your attention, so I might as well help out, right? Mmk, here we go: If you're reading this off my page, go into my fav authors and click on raok, then pick one. The awesomeness will jump off the screen and slap you in the face. Seriously, I still have the hand print on my cheek. She's awesome (duh) so get your butt over there... BUT HEY! Leave some love over here first??? Love you guys hard core... your theories? Bomb.

Kay, so obviously theotherbella is in dire need of more sleep that I've been all but begging her to go without to write this chap with me. And I'd plug her stuff, but everyone and their mom (literally!) on has read/continues to receive updates about Those Eyes. Though, you should check out her new 1-shot because fuck it's like... an artistic masterpiece in text form.

Oh and I heart Zephyr Girl 77 (me too!) a million times over. Duh.

* * *

**BPOV**

I rolled onto my side yawning loudly as my eyes slowly flickered open. Realizing that I was in fact, still in Edward's room (and that he hadn't moved me back to my own) I stopped mid-yawn to turn over.

Edward wasn't there. I kicked him out of his own fucking room - good going Bella. I sat up rubbing my eyes and that's when I noticed his body stretched out on the black leather couch in the corner of his room. Taking a peek at his alarm clock I noticed that it was a little before 7; his alarm should be going off any minute. What the fuck was I going to say to him? 'Thanks for taking pity on me, sorry I'm such a fucking downer?' Or how about 'Yeah, so I appreciate you rescuing me from a near catatonic state yesterday, thanks for being smart and staying away by saying we couldn't be friends.'

Balls. This wouldn't do at all. If I couldn't think of what to say in my head, there was no way that anything that came out of my mouth would be any better. I scooted my ass off his bed and hobbled my way to the door, paying extra attention to make sure I didn't bump into anything or make a sound. When I finally had made it out of his room and across the hall, I shut my door and banged my head against it. Stupid, stupid Bella.

Even despite being a cripple, I managed to get showered, dressed and down the stairs before Edward had even finished in the bathroom. Of course it didn't hurt that I couldn't give two shits about how I looked and had thrown on a black pullover hoodie, dark jeans that cut off right at my kneecap - broken leg friendly - and a pair of, or rather one, tennis shoe. My hair was down, per usual and damp from my shower; blowdryers were for suckers.

When I got downstairs I half expected Esme to have the full spread of breakfast out, but instead there was just a note and a bouquet of flowers from her saying that she had to run to the lawyer's first thing this morning to sign some last minute paperwork & she hoped I had a good day at school. Right, best fucking day ever.

**EPOV**

I got out of the shower and got dressed quickly. I had shit to do.

I bolted out of the house, and the tires on the Volvo squealed as I peeled out. Emmett would be dying today; it was on my to-do list. He had left Swan at her house, no less, and didn't anticipate and emotional breakdown?

Really, Em?

Really?

Fuck.

Sure enough when I pulled into the parking lot at school, his Jeep was already there. He liked to come down here and run laps before school. He's such a fucking jock. I walked quickly up to the track, and I saw his hulking form.

"DIP SHIT COCK SUCKING MOTHER FUCKER!"

He stopped dead in his tracks and looked over at me, "I know you aren't talking to me, Edward."

I walked over to him, my hands clenching into tight fists. "So what if I am?"

"You don't wanna start something you can't finish."

"Yeah?"

"You bet."

We were chest to chest now, and I could tell he wasn't backing off. "What the hell did you say to Bella yesterday?"

He let out a huge puff of air and backed off. "Geeze, Edward... I thought you were actually mad for a sec."

"I am mad, you shit head. I had to get over there and pick her damaged ass up!"

He gave me a confused look; like i was speaking Japanese or something. "What?"

"She was like a fucking zombie, you ninny! Remember night of the living dead?"

"Yeah?"

"That was Swan when I found her." I narrowed my eyes at him, and he looked completely shocked.

"I had no idea. She was fine when I dropped her off." I scoffed, and he got defensive. "Seriously, Edward. If I had known that was gonna happen, I wouldn't have left her."

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. He should've known not to leave her regardless. I mean, this is Swan; she was mental before all this happened. Now, she's like... extra super mental with a side of wicked fucking nuts.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" His tone was inquisitive, and thus I was intrigued.

"What?"

"Why do you care so much?" My head snapped up, and he was giving me that fucking knowing smirk. "I mean you're supposed to hate her, right?"

"What's you're point?" I was getting pissed.

Emmett crossed his arms across his chest and his eyes were twinkling with amusement. "Well, I know you said before that it was because of your parents, but this... this was definitely above and beyond the call of duty."

"How would you know?" I sneered, "What if the Cullen's told me to bitch you out?"

He guffawed, "Yeah, like you'd tell them that Bella went to the place where she almost _died_ and you're still alive. Nice try."

I glared at him, "Look. I just have to make sure that she stays in one fucking piece until she's eighteen. It's like I'm... her babysitter or something."

Em laughed and rolled his eyes, "Yeah, okay. Keep telling yourself that." I opened my mouth to fire back when he cut me off. "Where is the little bugger anyway?"

I threw my head back and moaned.

Fuck

**BPOV**

A blessing in fucking disguise.

I had heard Edward run down the stairs, but assumed it was because according to the clock in the kitchen we were going to barely make it on time if we didn't leave asap. Fortunately, he must have been in such a hurry to get to his pussy harem that he completely forgot about me. Ten thousand sighs of relief could not express how glad I was to be seen through.

Because let's be honest, since 5th grade that's all Edward had ever done - look right through me like I was a fucking invisible ghost. I grabbed a glass of water before making my way back up the stairs to my bedroom. At least 7, if not (and hopefully) more Edward-less hours. I placed the glass of water on my nightstand and stripped out of my clothes for the day, settling back into my pjs from the night before. All I wanted was sleep. Sleep and to never have to face Edward Cullen again.

Now not only did he hate me, but after last night it was evident that he _pitied _me and I'm not sure which was worse. As I wrapped myself up like a burrito in my sheets, I let out of a scoff. I had sought _comfort_ in Edward. Maybe he was right, maybe I was fucking crazy.

Because sane Bella would have never done that shit.

-------------------------------------

I woke up to a warm hand wrapped around my bicep shaking me awake.

"What the fuck?"

"Bella, get up, we gotta get to school before the end of first block."

My eyes squinted as they focused and I took in the sight of Edward sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Cullen, get the fuck off my bed and let me sleep," I grumbled, wrapping the blankets tighter around me.

"Bella, for fuck's sake my parents are going to have a shit fit if they find out we didn't make it to school today."

I opened my eyes a little shaking my head, "so go. Nothing's stopping you, have fun - give my best to your hoes."

Rolling over, I shut my eyes again and tried to fall back to sleep.

"Bella, get the _fuck_ up. I'm not kidding; I don't care if you go in what you've been sleeping in, just get up so I don't get yelled at."

"God Cullen leave me alone. I just want to sleep alright? Tell your parents that you tried to get me to go to school but I wasn't having it. I don't fucking care, just leave me alone so I can sleep."

He let out a frustrated sounding groan and I felt the bed shift as he got up and left my room, slamming the door behind him.

Ah, peace and quiet.

**EPOV**

This was fucking bullshit on ice.

Who the fuck did she think she was?

I paced in front of her room for a little while, before I finally realized what I had to do. I turned back to her door and narrowed my eyes at it. Oh, I was gonna enjoy this. I smirked to myself, but wiped it off as soon as I was through the doors. I knew I could get her to say it; I just had to say the right thing, and she'd say it.

"Swan, I'm here!"

"Get the fuck out, you Neanderthal."

Bingo.

I marched over to her bed and scooped her up, not even giving her a chance to react to anything. I swear to God, she was so fucking oblivious sometimes.

"Cullen, put me down RIGHT NOW!!"

We were at the top of the stairs, and I was having fun, so I thought maybe I could tease her a little. I dropped her a little. Not like a lot or anything, but just kind of pulled my hands away. I laughed when I felt her arms grip me more tightly, but I felt horrible when I looked at her. She had buried her head in my chest again, and had a death grip going on my shoulders. Fuck. So much for the 'fun' mood.

I started to make my way slowly down the stairs.

"Bella, I--"

"Shut the fuck up, Cullen. You're such a fucking asshole and I hope you fail at everything!"

Well that was awfully specific.

I did what she told me, and didn't say another word to her as I put her in the car and drove us back to school. But then I passed it.

"You missed it, ass wipe."

I didn't say anything. If I did, I'd end up talking myself out of this, and if I did that, I'd actually have to look at her all fucking day. I deserved at least seven hours without her, right?

"Where are you taking me?" Her voice had a bit of panic and I rolled my eyes. Yeah, Bella; I'm gonna rape you then kill you. Sounds like a plan. I kept quiet.

"C-cullen?" Seriously, she was getting ridiculously nervous. I shook my head as I turned into the library parking lot. I heard her let out a huge sigh when she realized where we were. I parked the car next to the curb and went around to get her out, lifting her back into me.

"We look fucking ridiculous, buttfuck." Yup, she's better.

I rolled my eyes and took her over to the arm chairs in the back where I plopped her down. "Don't move." I said, and headed back to the front desk.

"Hey, Edward." Stacy said as she saw me approach the front desk. I tried to stop my eyes from rolling. She wasn't gross or anything; she was only forty. What the fuck? Isn't that like illegal or some shit? She flipped a piece of hair over her shoulder.

"Hi. I need Bella's list." Because our town's so fucking small, the librarians actually have the time to gather together all of the books that you request so that when you come in you don't have to fucking browse if you don't want to. I knew that Swan would have a list. I watched Stacy's smile falter but she handed over the books. After she offered her 'private line' if I needed more help.

From her? Not likely.

I walked with determination back to Bella, and I was pleased to see that she hadn't moved a muscle. Good.

I put the stack down on the table next to her. "Stay." I said as she looked up at me.

I walked out of the library to Starbucks across the street and got her a latte, a sandwich and a cookie. That should tide her over, right? I grabbed the shit, hoping she hadn't cried mutiny and taken the library patrons hostage. But thankfully, she was still in the chair; she literally haven't moved. I dropped the stuff down next to her and she looked... confused.

"I'll be back at 2:30 to pick you up." I pulled my phone out and gave it to her. "If you need something, call Em, Jasper or Alice. I'm usually with one of them. Whatever you do, DO NOT call my parents. that is unless you wanna get busted for ditching." I started to walk away from her, but I still hadn't heard her say anything.

"2:30 Bella; don't forget."

**BPOV**

I stared at his phone for awhile. What the fuck was his malfunction? One minute he was being a misogynistic ape and the next he was being almost civil, which spoke volumes considering it was Edward.

And okay it was kind of nice of him to give me his phone. I wouldn't be calling him. I was already a drain on his parents and the last thing I needed was to be a burden on one more person, especially if that person was Edward.

The books looked tempting, but all I wanted was to sleep. In my dreams my parents were there, alive and well. It could be a dream about the most trivial thing like my mom and I doing the jitterbug while simultaneously cooking Thanksgiving dinner, or my dad and I up at La Push beach enjoying a rare sunny day on the water. It didn't matter what the dream was, only that they were there and as alive as they had ever been before. So rather than reading any of the books beside me, I laid my arms on the table and my head on top of them and drifted off to sleep.

In my dreams my parents were still around and Edward Cullen had never seen me cry.

This dream felt familiar but new. It was as if my arms were wrapped around a cloud and I was floating weightless in the air. The cloud smelled like mint and honey and I pressed my face into it taking a deep breath. I clung tighter as I heard someone whisper "hold on tighter, don't let go." I didn't know who or what was saying it, but I did as I was told and held on for dear life. As the voice faded and smell dimmed, I saw my parents. They were smiling and nodding their heads and I couldn't figure out why. "Why are you so happy?" I shouted to them. Their faces were getting further away and they didn't answer so I shouted again, "how can you be happy?! You're gone, you left me! I'm completely alone now!" And their nodding turned to shaking 'no' as they pointed towards me and I turned around but my eyes fluttered open before I could see who was there...

My head was a jumbled mess when I woke up. Part of that was due to waking up in my own bed instead of the library where I was pretty sure I'd fallen asleep, and the other reason being that it was already dark outside. I'd slept through the entire fucking day. Maybe I had sleep-walked back to the Cullens? Yea, totally possible, especially with a bum leg. I stretched my arms out as much as I could and groaned as my elbow cracked and popped. I sat up a bit and took a deep breath. Fuck, Edward probably carried me again. This was beyond embarrassing. I wondered briefly if he had tried to wake me up or just stopped bothering and carried me everywhere like a fucking superhero. _Anti-hero maybe_. Ha. I contemplated thanking him again but decided against it. Fuck that. I was tired of being this weakling to him. I didn't need him. Edward was only being nice to save face with his parents and his parents were only being nice because they were friends with my parents.

At the end of the day I didn't matter at all. I was just c when a+b was really what mattered to everyone. They were just clinging on to c because a & b had been removed from the equation. What is c without a & b?

An inconvenience, that's what.

But I could fade. I could become invisible to Edward again _and_ his parents.

I just had to sleep more and be conscious less. I slid my body back down on the bed and once again found sleep; in doing so found my family.

**EPOV**

So fucking ridiculous.

She needed to stop sleeping so much. That couldn't be healthy.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Soo, hey you! I was reading through your reviews for the last one, and I don't know... they kind of made me feel like I was in fifth grade again. What about you, kel?

For sure. I was about to break out my TLC CD and start singin "Creep". And however awesome that CD was, all of yours are better. So keep up so T-Boz, Left Eye and Chili don't leave you in the dust, k?

SMeyer still owns, but maybe we're gaining ground?

* * *

**BPOV**

I woke up to more arm gripping. Edward was fucking going to get another punch in the face if he didn't leave me the fuck alone. "Edward, fucking christ take the hint and go away."

"Bella?" A woman's voice echoed.

Fuck. Mrs. Cullen.

I groaned and rolled onto my back, rubbing my eyes as they adjusted to the sunlight streaming into my room. "Sweetie, it's me. Esme." I nodded as I took in her position sitting beside me on the bed. "I know today's going to be rough, but you have to start getting ready. The car will be here in about an hour to take us to the memorial."

Crap-fucking-tastic. The funeral was today.

I nodded, biting my lip to stop the tears from streaming down my face. "Do I... do I have to wear a dress or something?" I didn't know what the protocol was for funerals; fortunately I had never had to go to one before now. Or perhaps it was unfortunately, since my first funeral would be me burying _both_ my parents. Just the thought and acknowledgment almost sent me into hysterics. Esme leaned towards me and held my hand firmly in hers. "Bella you wear whatever you want. Today is your day to remember your mom & dad. I'm sure the last thing they would care about is whether or not you dressed up. I'm sure they're proud of how strong you are."

There she was throwing around that word again like it actually applied to me - _strong. _I was not strong; I was fucking weak and the only thing that was getting me through this were my dreams. Thank god I still had those.

I nodded and tried my best to smile as I turned my body around and placed both feet on the ground. Esme ran around my bed to grab the crutch from the other side of my bedframe. Fuck, I had forgotten she didn't know I put a hole in the heel of my cast already. Whatever, I'll fake it.

I needed to practice faking shit anyway if I was going to make it through life without looking miserable, right?

She handed me the overgrown toothpick and grabbed my bathrobe as I wobbled to the bathroom to shower and get ready.

After my relatively quick (well quick for being sore from too much sleep and the whole gimp thing) shower, I wrapped myself in the pink robe and hobbled back out towards my bedroom. I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw Edward with a fist against my closed bedroom door, knocking.

**EPOV**

Today was gonna be shitty enough, I figured the least I could do was be kind of helpful.

So I sped through my shower, and got dressed. But I still didn't hear Swan. Fuck.

I paced around my room for a little bit, trying to weigh my options. She seemed okay yesterday, if a little shaken. And this whole sleeping thing... it was taking up way too much of her time. I mean, I come home to take her to school, she's in bed; I go to pick her up from the library, she's asleep in the arm chair with her mouth hanging open. Yeah, that was attractive. And then, get this: she slept all fucking night long. Not even so much as a peep. Didn't come to my room, didn't call for my parents... nothing. Totally silent. Last night, though, the silence seemed good; as though it was repairing her damage. cause lord knows, she had a shit ton. But this morning it felt fucking oppressive. I knew something was being held back. Too fucking ominous. So I went across the hall, and knocked on her door, just to make sure she was actually awake. I hate to say it, but I was a little nervous when there wasn't any answer. I was about to knock again when I felt that familiar disconcerting feeling creep up my spine and make me shiver. I turned to look, and there she was; coming out of the bathroom, supporting herself against the wall, and staring at me.

"Hey, did you sleep okay?" I asked. That was good right?

"Fine."

She didn't move though, she just kept watching me. Maybe I could get her to call me a neanderthal...

I moved toward her, but she didn't move and I positioned myself to lift her, but she slowly started to move away and hobble into her room. Sure, I could've just lifted her up and done it myself, but something told me to back off. But not enough to leave her alone. I followed her into her room, and I guess her fatigue took over because she collapsed onto her bed, not really focusing on anything in particular.

"Bella, what are you gonna wear?" I asked, trying to get some kind of reaction out of her. She shrugged. I sighed and tugged a hand through my hair.

"Well, don't yell at me if I pick out something stupid." She didn't say anything.

I went into the closet and grabbed the only black dress I saw and put it on the bed next to her. She just looked at it, disinterested.

"Shoes?" I asked. I laughed to myself at the joke, "Or shoe, I should say?"

"Black," was all she said. It was like someone had ripped Bella out of Bella, and I was now stuck with a shell of a human being. It really felt like she wasn't even there. Back in her closet she had one pair of black heels and one pair of flats. I figured that with the cast and everything, the flats would be best. I put the shoe down next to her foot and looked at her for a second. Even though the bruises had faded, she still looked kind of broken. SHe was pale, for sure, but her skin had taken on a sallow tone, and she just looked unhealthy. I could feel the depression seeping into the room and I had to do something to cut it. Jokingly, I put my hand to her forehead.

"Hey, You feeling okay? You haven't called me an assfuck yet."

She brushed my hand from her forehead, "Please don't touch me right now."

Holy Hell.

She said please. Now I _knew_ something was up. But again, if she didn't want to tell me, I wasn't gonna pry; it wasn't like we were friends or some shit. I sighed, and stuffed my hands in my pockets.

"I'll wait outside while you change, then I'll help you downstairs. Just come out when you're finished."

I didn't wait for her to reply as I walked out.

It was going to be a long fucking day.

**BPOV**

I puffed out my cheeks, staring at the dress Edward had laid out for me. Guess it was a dress then after all. Fortunately the dress was simple to put on. I'd apparently lost some weight from barely eating since Friday, and was able to slip it on without having to unzip it first. I grabbed my brush and walked over to the full length mirror that hung from the closet door. My reflection surprised me; I looked tired, despite the thousand hours of sleep I'd had. I practiced smiling in the mirror, but it never reached my eyes. That was fine, today no one would be expecting me to smile anyway. My hair was still damp as I ran the brush through it, but I didn't really care. Today was surreal and every movement I made seemed exaggerated. Once I had exhausted my arm with combing my hair, I slid on the black flat that sat at the foot of my bed and walked out of my room.

It was going to be a long fucking day.

Edward was where he said he would be, outside my door and leaning against his. He pushed off with his hands and walked over to where I stood. I'd realized it was just too draining to be angry, or upset, or even pleasant with him. Right now all of my energy was going to fighting off the tears that were threatening to escape with every breath I took and every word I spoke. He took a step closer and outstretched his arms. I shook my head and gave him a faint tight-lipped smile, instead turning to grip the banister and make my way down the stairs on my own.

I'd taken only a few steps when I felt his arm wrap around my waist. My body froze and I turned to look at him. He needed to stop helping me. This wasn't beneficial to anyone; not to me who had to learn how to do this on my own, and not to him who hated me and had to put up with me for another year no matter how nice he was in the beginning. "Please, just... don't," I begged him quietly as I did my best to wiggle out of his grasp and continue my descent.

The ride to the memorial wasn't much better. All three sets of eyes, Edward's, Esme's and Carlisle's were focused on me; though while Esme and Carlisle's strayed elsewhere periodically, Edward's remained trained on my own. It was making me slightly uneasy, he'd never really _looked _at me before, and here he was essentially staring at me. I pulled my eyes off of him and instead shut them, hoping to be given just a few minutes of solace in the dreams that kept the nightmarish reality at bay.

I woke up to a pair of arms wrapping around me and lifting me up. I heard faint murmuring in the background as my mind caught up with my eyes and I noticed we had arrived at the memorial service. I yawned and felt Edwards arms pulse against my body. I looked up at him and gave him a pleading look, hoping he understood. _Please put me down. Please stop touching me. Please just let me sleep. Please stop pretending you actually care_.

**EPOV**

Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

She wasn't moving, she wasn't talking, she wasn't even fiddling with her hair. The only thing that was typical Bella was that she was watching me; but even then it wasn't... her. Her gaze was glossed over and distant. She was looking at me, but she wasn't really seeing me. She was somewhere else. Then she tilted her head to the side, and shut her eyes. She was sleeping again. I heard Carlisle sigh and then he nudged me with his arm.

"Has she been doing this a lot recently?" He asked quietly, knitting his brow together.

I nodded. I couldn't tell him how I knew this, because then I'd get in trouble for letting her ditch, and she'd get in trouble for actually ditching. It's a lose-lose situation. He didn't press the issue.

"But no nightmares, right? You haven't heard her screaming at night?"

"No, but she did come to my room once. She stayed in my bed."

He raised and eyebrow and I rolled my eyes. Why did everyone think I was ass left and right? "I was on the couch. Nothing happened."

"Good. I raised you better than that." My mother said, with conviction. Seriously, they were blowing this way out of proportion. Didn't they noticed the extreme animosity we had for each other? No, apparently not. My father ignored the comment and looked back at Bella, who was now completely out. "She looks a little thin, too."

She did look thinner. Not like, an insane amount, but it was noticeable. He was watching her thoughtfully as the car lurched to a stop in the cemetery. He turned back to me, "Do you want me to help her out?"

"No, I got her." I sighed and looked at her again. She was unhappy. And I felt... bad that she felt... bad. I knew that something like this would have to suck, right? You aren't supposed to bury your parents at seventeen. Especially the two of them together. Unhappy. There really wasn't any other word for it. My father helped my mother out, and I could see them step away a bit, so that I could help Bella. I got out and put my hand on her arm and squeezed. She didn't move. I lifted her arm and slipped under it, and when she turned her head to look at me her face was only a breath away from my own. The sheer sadness and pain that was reflected in her eyes was unbearable, and I heard my breath hitch as I looked at her. Why wouldn't she just let it out? What was she afraid of?

I slipped out from under her arm and just helped her out of the car. She pulled away from me and adjusted herself, as I watched my parents head up the hillside. I saw her try and head up to the service, but she stumbled and almost lost her balance. Good thing I caught her. But she just groaned. I leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"I know you don't want me to help you, but there's no way you'll be able to make it up this hill. I'll let you go as soon as we get to the top."

She sighed in defeat, and I tucked my arm around her waist again. It would be too awkward if I picked her up now. She didn't hold on to me or anything, either because she knew I wouldn't drop her or because she didn't care if I did. Either way, I got her up the hill. The crowd was split into two halves: our friends,and all the old people. I didn't know which way to go, so I looked down at Bella. She didn't really look like she cared. Her eyes were trained on the matching maple caskets directly in front of us. I couldn't even begin to imagine what she was thinking. Then the minions descended, looking appropriately mournful, and took her from me, one on each side. They were moving too quickly for her, she was gonna trip if they kept that up. I walked over to stand with Jasper and Em who nodded, then back at Bella once she got situated. She still hadn't taken her eyes off the caskets.

**BPOV**

I had never understood the idea that emotional pain could turn into something physical. But sitting there, staring at the closed caskets I felt it; my chest was tight and my breaths were short. It _physically_ hurt to be sitting where I was. As stupid as it sounded, there was a tiny part of my brain that didn't want to accept it, that wanted to believe the caskets were empty and my parents would run down the aisle and say "JUST KIDDING!" admitting that they conspired in a really morbid practical joke.

I sat. I waited. They didn't appear.

In that moment, I was thankful that Esme had told me they'd gone peacefully, that the bullets had hit them where it mattered most and there was no pain or suffering. I saw Carlisle out of the corner of my eye walk up to stand beside where my parents lied.

His voice was clear but slightly shaky, but my eyes never left the wooden boxes.

"Charlie and Renee were amazing people, but that is not something I need to tell all of of you. They were the prime example of how opposites can not only attract, but love each other more deeply than most of us will ever experience. Charlie was always grounded, logical; Renee was idealistic and the dreamer. Together they balanced each others' universes and brought into this world the beautiful Isabella who is a perfect mix of the two." He cleared his throat, tugging at his hair just like Edward did; that must be where he picked it up.

"Charlie and I met in high school. He had always been dedicated to the Forks community, and no matter how many of us wanted to escape for bigger cities and complained about a lack of nightlife, he never waivered in preaching the greatness of both the area and the people in it. It was in that way, that Renee and him meshed so well. Renee loved nature and couldn't get enough of the beauty of this town, despite her at times, restless nature. When I moved back to Forks with my wife Esme to do my residency Charlie and I reconnected and the rest has been history. My wife and Renee became very close almost immediately, bonding over everything from Martha Stewart marathons to weekly trips to Port Angeles to roam around and do whatever women do when away from their husbands," he grinned a bit and looked at Esme.

It was obvious how much he loved her. It was the same way Charlie looked at my mom.

"When Esme found out she was pregnant with our son Edward, both Charlie and Renee bent over backwards to be there for us. I was in my last year of residency and spending more hours than I'd like to admit away from her. Charlie and Renee were there when I couldn't be. They ran to the store to pick up food she was craving. Renee planned the baby shower and at Esme's instructions painted and wallpapered the nursery. Charlie and I spent a full day getting the crib assembled, only to have it fall apart the minute we shook it lightly to test it out." He chuckled softly at the memory and sighed.

"They were our best friends, our family; the siblings we never had. Bella has always been family to us as well, and now we are fortunate to have been given a gift in a time of such tragedy; Bella has now completed the circle we had created with Charlie and Renee and now we have a daughter."

I had been biting and pulling at my lip with my teeth so hard I was scared my teeth were going to rip out of my mouth. I couldn't take it, I couldn't handle hearing people, not even Carlisle, talk about my parents in the past tense.

I stood up, wobbling a little as I balanced. Alice glanced up at me and I shook my head. I needed to be alone. With the crutch safely tucked under my arm I hopped away from the crowd of people and made my way to the left, carefully avoiding going down the hill at all costs. There was a tree that stood as a border to the graves, about half a football field length away from the service; that seemed like a safe distance. Not too far to where I couldn't see my parents, but not too close to where I felt suffocated. I leaned my back against the tree and dropped the crutch to the ground, slowly sliding down and bending my knees towards my body. It didn't matter if my dress got dirty or splinters poked into the dress. I just needed quiet; I needed to say my goodbye the only way I could.

Alone.

I closed my eyes and whispered it out, hoping that they would be able to hear me - wherever they were.

"Mom, dad... I'm sorry. Maybe if I had been a better daughter, you would still be here. Maybe if I didn't party or drink so much things would have turned out differently. Dad, maybe you would have been able to fight the guy off and save you and mom. I'm sorry that I never kept my room clean, or volunteered to help out around the house with anything except cooking. I'm sorry that I didn't take self defense, maybe I would have been able to help out more if I had. Mom, I'm sorry that I didn't spend more quality time with you and always chose hanging out with my friends over trips to Seattle or Port Angeles with you. I don't know how I'm going to make it without you two." I took a deep breath and wiped the tears that had leaked from my shut eyes.

"I'm sorry that I've become a burden to your best friends; and I'm sorry that I've ruined Edward's life with my mere presence in it - I know you guys loved him like a son. I would run off on my own, but as you can see I'm kind of a cripple right now," I laughed hallowly. "Plus I don't think that's what either of you would have wanted. And I'm going to start doing that more; thinking of what you would have wanted me to do, the kind of person you both wanted me to be. I want to be that person for you both now. I want to show you dad, that you didn't die in vain; that my life was worth saving. I want to be strong for you, and mom, I want to have your carefree spirit. I want to life the life you both wanted me to live. I'm sorry I was such a horrible daughter to you, but I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it; to prove that I was listening when you didn't think I was, and cared even though I said otherwise. I love you, and I'll miss you both forever."

I rested my arms on my legs and leaned my head against my head against them, finally letting the floodgate of tears I'd been holding in, free.

**EPOV**

I watched her hobble away, and I was hoping the minions would follow her. She was a fucking cripple at her parents funeral and we were already in a cemetery. You do the math. They each exchanged a look with each other then turned back to the service. Sometimes, I wondered who the bitch actually had been: Bella or them. Emmett nudged me and then nodded in the direction that Bella had gone. Yeah, I know. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair and made my way slowly around the crowd, then in the direction Bella had gone. She was sitting down, her knees pulled up to her chest and she was rocking ever so slightly. She couldn't handle this; she shouldn't even have been here. It was too much. I should've just let her sleep in the car; I shouldn't have even made her leave the house. I should've done better.

The closer I got to her, the more I could hear her sniffling and I knew she was crying. Finally. I took the last few steps to her slowly, trying to decide what to do. Sit. Get on her level; that would be best. I plopped down next to her, but she didn't look up. Her head was down, and her face was covered by her hair. I just sat there with her for a little while, because I knew she had to get it out. It was the only way. So then I reached over and put my hand on the back of her head. God, who knew her hair was this soft?

"Bella?"

I heard her suck in a breath, and suddenly she was frantically wiping at her face. Like she was ashamed or some shit. "Why are you here?"

I was shocked at that. Why wouldn't I be here? Then I realized I still had my hand at the back of her neck, and I quickly pulled it away. It felt kind of cold after that. She just kept on staring at me like I was being mean to her just by trying to do the right thing. I know she's going through some tough shit right now, but c'mon; wouldn't she want a little bit of help now and then?

"Bella, I... I saw you come down here. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

**BPOV**

I didn't need his pity and he certainly didn't need to be my guardian. And I definitely didn't need his hand burning my skin. I sniffled back the last of the tears and looked at him pointedly. "I'm fine."

"Bella, this can't be easy for you. I'm not saying it needs to be me, but you _have_ to let it out to someone. I can go get Angela or Rosalie if you want?" I shook my head. No one needed to hear it; I was on my own and as such needed to learn how to cope _on my own_. "I'm fine," I repeated, staring into his eyes and ignoring the butterflies that suddenly developed in the pit of my stomach. He had to know I was serious; if he didn't believe me there was no chance that his parents would.

I saw his adam's apple move as he swallowed and I leaned back against the tree, shutting my eyes again and taking a deep breath. Today was about my parents not about me and as such I had to start making my life less about me and more about them.

"Edward, I need to know why you hate me."

"What?"

I sighed. "My parents liked you, a lot. They wouldn't want me to be like _this_, like how I've been to you. So I need to know why you hate me, so I can fix it."

God that was harder than I thought.

**EPOV**

"Bella, I..."

I didn't know what to fucking say. Why did I hate her? I was going through the list that had seemed so logical only a few days before, and suddenly telling her that I hated the way she smelled didn't seem reasonable. So I told her the truth.

"Because you hurt my feelings."

She looked at me like I had eight heads. "Well, I'm sorry then."

"You don't even want to know what for?"

She sighed and closed her eyes, "Does it matter?"

"If you were really sorry about it, it would."

"Fine," her jaw was trembling a little. She was holding back again. "What did I do to hurt your feelings?"

"Seriously, Bella?"

"Well?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was unmentionable. That's why it's called the unmentionable fifth grade incident. I looked out into the distance and I could see the river winding its way through the valley. I could feel her eyes on me.

"Fifth Grade."

I heard her breath hitch, and I looked over at her. "That was just a really... mean thing to do. I was embarrassed enough. It was by far one of the worst days of my life."

Her eyes were wide and I could see the tears collecting in them. But fuck that; I mean, that shit was embarrassing as fuck. We were all at Jasper's house because it was one for the very few hot days we'd have, and his house had a pool. We were playing Marco Polo, and I was walking around with my eyes closed trying to find them. Then, all of a sudden, I felt my trunks get ripped from my body, and I opened my eyes in horror. I had been pantsed. In the shallow end. And there, standing in front of me was Bella, laughing her ass off. I got teased about that for _years._ Even thinking about it made me revert to that shy, overly sensitive ten year old. I couldn't be that kid anymore.

"I... I didn't realize it was embarrassing for you." she squeaked out.

Now it was my turn to be appalled. "How could you not realize that that would be embarrassing? That's why you did it, right?"

She hung her head and pulled her knees a little bit closer. I was getting more and more angry by the second. She wanted to know, she wanted to make amends, and now she was shutting down on me. Again. What the fuck?

"Look, Bella, you wanted to know, so I told you. Now the least you can do is let me the fuck in. I mean, you wanted this, so why can't you just let it happen?"

She didn't say anything; she just sniffled, tucking her head back into her arms.

"Fine. You know what? Fine. Have it your way." I stood up and started walking away from her. I was so fucking pissed that she had asked me to man up, and then she just fucking... stopped. But then I heard her crying. Not like before, though. She was literally sobbing. Fuck.

Unhappy.

I didn't do shit that I didn't want to do. Ever. If I hadn't wanted to cart Swan all over Hell's half acre, I wouldn't have; cripple or not. I wouldn't have made sure that she went to school or ate or even slept. I just would've ignored her. So I marched back over to her, sat back down and pulled her into my lap and let her cry on my shoulder, snot and all. In that moment, it didn't matter that I didn't want to be her friend, or that she still hated me or that she was the antichrist. She needed someone to cry on, and I could be there.

"Bella, You can let me have it. I can take it. Just talk, and I'll take it."

I didn't say anything else after that. We just sat there, and I let her cry. I smoothed back her hair, and rubbed her back a little. Not to make her calm down, but just to make her comfortable. She was really bawling. Then all of a sudden she sucked in a deep breath.

"Can you take me home?"

I looked down at her, and even though she still looked sad, there was a bit of... calm in her eyes. It wasn't over; I knew there would be more, but for now she was finished. "Yeah, let's go."

I shifted her off of my lap and stood, then helped her to her feet. She let me put my arm around her waist, and didn't fight me as I took her up the hill. But when we got there, we weren't alone like I had expected.

"What the hell did you do to her, Edward?" Alice wailed, coming over to us.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah! What'd you say now, asshole?" Rose was coming at me and pushing up her non existent sleeves and throwing her bag on the ground. Shit. Angela gave me a tight smile and I passed Bella off to her and backed away.

"Bella, I'll grab your crutch, then we'll go home."

"Yeah, right, twatward." Rose scoffed, "Like we're letting your diseased ass anywhere near her. Can't you be civil to her for a fucking minute? We'll take her home, and I don't want to see your ugly face when we get there. Stay away from Bella."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. Sometimes,when people are wrong, it's easier to just let them stay that way. It would take too much energy to set her straight. I watched as the four of them got into Rose's BMW and drove off in the direction of my house. Jasper, Ben and Emmett appeared next to me and we watched them drive away. Then the rain started.

"Hey," Jasper said, clapping a hand on my shoulder. "I'll take you home."

I sighed.

Home.

Did I even have one?

**BPOV**

He hated me because I liked him. He was repulsed by me and because I had a stupid crush on him for like 5 minutes when we were 10 he despised me. I mean _seriously?!_

Alice and Rosalie were saying something about Edward, using various profanities before echoing his name. Angela sat in the back, squeezing my hand as I thought about that afternoon.

Rosalie had been begging me all day about who "E" was. I had drawn hearts all over my English notebook with "B + E foreva" written inside them. She was trying to figure out if it was Eric Yorkie, Emmett or Edward. "Ew Eric smells like asparagus all the time, no." I had finally given up.

One down, 2 for her to surmise about.

"So, Emmett right? I mean, he's kinda cute. He's tall and kinda beefy looking, but it works."

I looked at her incredulously and started laughing, "beefy, really Rose?" I laughed harder as her cheeks turned pink and she turned her face in the opposite direction. After a few seconds she turned back around to face me.

"That means it's Edward!"

I jumped both at her sound decision and the feeling of hands on my shoulders. All I could think was _please don't be Edward, please don't be Edward_.

"What's Edward?" Emmett's voice rang.

Thank god, it wasn't Edward. I let a _woosh_ escape my lungs as I glared at Rose and shook my head.

"The boy that Bella likes!" she volunteered too quickly.

It was the laugh that could be heard around the world; even back then Emmett was loud. "Man I can't _wait_ to tell him. He'll have a field day!"

I spun around so quickly I gave myself vertigo for a second. "Don't you _dare!_" I screeched. Edward could not know about my crush. Then it would be weird and he'd avoid me and we couldn't be friends anymore. There would be no more swinging from his tire swing just oustide his bedroom window as he pushed me as hard as he could and no more piggy back rides down to the river from the summer cabin our parents shared. _God_ maybe even our parents would have to stop being friends.

Emmett just grinned broadly and shrugged "Edward's my best friend, I think he should know who wants to kiss him."

The blush that I'd had on my face spread down to my neck and grew 5 shades darker. At my unspoken reaction his howling continued until he was wheezing from laughing so hard.

Not even a week after the encounter, Edward and I stopped being friends. And most of my predictions had been right; maybe our parents had stayed friends, but there were no more piggybacks to the water's edge and definitely no more swinging on the tire swing.

It was that very swing that caught my eye as Rosalie pulled up to the Cullen's house.

"You want us to come up with you? Alice and I could run interference if Edward's there. Yanno, we could lock him in the closet, or just kick him repeatedly in the sac."

I shook my head, trying on that half smile I'd practiced in the mirror before we'd left for the service. Alice turned around and patted my knee. "You sure? We'd be happy to do it."

"No thanks, but I appreciate the offer," I said opening the door. "I'll see you guys tomorrow at school, kay?"

"Kay," they all said in unison, cracking up at the in-stereo reply. Turning around, I walked over to the swing, where I hadn't sat in nearly a decade and pushed myself.

However much I wanted Edward to be there, I knew I had to learn to be okay with doing it on my own.

**EPOV**

Jasper dropped me off at my house, and I knew that everything had changed. Bella and I were different and now my friends and I were different. Fuck, it even felt like I was different. And I didn't really know what to do about it, either. Obviously, things couldn't go back to the way they were. There was too much between us now. Between my hurt feelings, her lack of empathy, my stubbornness, and her stand offish ways it didn't seem like there was any way for either one of us to get past it. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe I had been right: we shouldn't be friends.

I saw her sitting on the old tire swing in the back yard, and I headed out to her. But then I stopped dead in my tracks. Yeah, I was supposed to watch out for her, but it was only the back yard. I turned back and went into the house. This time, if Bella needed my help she would have to want it, too.


	9. Chapter 9

killing me softly with his song

killing me softly

with his words telling my whole life

oh jebus.

what?

Nothing. Would Edward be killing Bella with his song, right now?

Duh ;-)

(I love Little Miss Whitlock hardcore... she knows this, but I have to share! Go check out Right Side of Wrong and prepare to be dazzled... Edward Cullen style)

* * *

**BPOV**

I stayed out there until the sun began to set and the wind started picking up and goosebumps appeared on my arms. The trek back up to my room was a slow one; Esme had stopped me before I got to the stairs to give me a plate of food.

"Sweetie, Carlisle and I meant what he said today; you're like the daughter we never had. We love you and if there's anything we can do, you let us know okay?"

I nodded and tried on the half smile again as I tried to take a step up the stairs with the plate in my hand. "Oh hunny, let me get that. I'll follow up behind you."

"Thank you Mrs. Cullen," I said relieved that I wouldn't be risking breaking something of my own _and_ her fine china.

We finally made it to my bedroom and she set the plate on my nightstand, taking a deep breath. "You did great today Bella." I stared at her, unsure of what to say. She placed a hand on my shoulder and kissed my forehead softly, just like my mom used to. I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding in and closed my eyes.

"We love you Bella," she said soothingly as she turned and walked towards the door. "Open or closed?"

"Closed please."

She smiled once more and closed the door behind her. I glanced down at the plate of food, and even though I wasn't the least bit hungry, my parents would be begging me to eat _something_ if they were here; so I picked up the plate and pulled a piece of cheese off the pizza, grazing on it slowly.

Since I had no desire to live for me anymore, I would have to live for them.

**EPOV**

I watched her hobble up to the house from the back yard. I was about two seconds from going out there and getting her myself. It was too fucking cold and she was too fucking stubborn. But then she shivered and started to walk. Alone. She was alone. A few minutes later, I could hear her and my mother talking through the door and I pressed my ear up to my closed door to try and figure out what they were talking about.

It just sounded like mumbling.

Then I heard the door shut, and I tried to figure out a sound plan of action. But then again, what was there to talk about. She single (well, double actually) handedly gave me the most embarassing moment of my adolescence, and felt no remorse for it. What was I to do then?

I paced back and forth in my room, tugging at my hair. I had to do something, right? I had to say something.

She was alone.

I took a deep breath and went out into the hall, and knocked on her door.

"Bella?"

No answer.

New leaf my ass.

"Bella?"

Nothing.

So I took matters into my own hands and opened the door. But I definitely wasn't prepared for what I saw.

"Oh, God Bella. What did you do?"

**BPOV**

Why the fuck did he have to be so patronizing about it? I fell, big whoop, happens all the time to me. Maybe he forgot who he was staring it.

I shrugged. "Fell."

He took two strides and was at my side helping me up like the feeble fucking female I was. I internally groaned but looked up at him smiling shyly. "Thanks. I think I would have been there all night if you hadn't stopped by."

Oh my god, was I... no, I wasn't fucking _flirting_. That was just being nice, right? Right???

His lips turned up in a smirk. "You would have found a way to get up - even if it meant hurting yourself more." He helped me walk over to my bed, where I proceeded to flop onto the mattress.

"PJs?"

"What?" I asked, sitting up.

"Do you want me to grab you some from the closet?"

"Oh, um... yeah. Thanks." I bit my lip. Wasn't he supposed to be apologizing too? For his side of the hatred. Wasn't that how this shit usually played out? I apologize for fucking you over, you tell me what I did to piss you off, I apologize again and then your turn.

Only he never _really_ pissed me off to begin with; my bitchy apathy had always been more a reaction to how he interacted with me.

He tossed a plain black tshirt and grey sweatpants on the bed next to me. "Is that okay or did you want a sweatshirt?"

I shook my head, "no this is good. Thanks again."

"No problem."

I stared at him and he kept looking from me to the floor and back again.

"Well I'm just gonna..." he began, pointing towards the door. "If you need anything, just knock or whatever."

I nodded. "Thanks again Edward."

He walked over to the door, pausing as his fingers strummed against the door.

"Hey Edward?"

He turned around, exhaling "Hm?"

He seemed irritated but the question had to be asked; it has been bugging me since we left the cemetery.

"How could you hate me so much, for just wanting to kiss you?"


	10. Chapter 10

addicted like nuta

who's a nuta?  
they're a nuta!  
why's a nuta?  
cuz a nuta!

your POV madam

Oh GOD kel

whatev you love me

Bells and I love this fic more than the owner... SMeyer because at least our shit has real lemons. Not from concentrate.

Not that this chap has lemons, but our other fics do, so check 'em out!

* * *

**EPOV**

I turned slowly.

"Bella... what the fuck are you talking about?"

I mean, frankly it didn't make sense. The night she was drunk? I was under the impression that it was inappropriate to take advantage of someone when they were wasted. And besides that, I wasn't remotly attracted to her. I mean, she was Swan the Shrew. She fell out of her fucking bed. I ran my hand through my hair and looked at her. She looked hurt. Again. But she still hadn't said anything. So, of course, I had to go first.

"Bella... you were drunk. You didn't want me to kiss you, really. I was just there..." I trailed off when her face twisted up in confusion.

"I was, 10 you idiot. Why would I have been drunk?"

Okay. Wait. What?

"I don't understand."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, you do."

"Uh, no. This is me. Not understanding."

"Yeah, you do. You're just being a lame ass about it."

I sighed and went over to the bed and sat next to her. "Bella, my lame ass has no fucking idea what the hell you're talking about. What does being ten have to do with you wanting to kiss me?"

Her eyes went wide and that stupid blush flew like a blanket across her face. "Youa.. you really don't know?"

"Clearly."

"Edward, why do we hate each other?"

Easy. "The unmentionable fifth grade incident."

"Or Emmett's betrayal."

Okay, wait... what? "Run that by me again."

"When Emmett told you that I... well, the thing is that I--"

"Pantsed me. I remember." I groaned flopping against the pillow.

"What?"

Oh, God. Not this again. "Bella... you know."

"...no. What was it you said to me? This is _my_ lame ass not knowing what the fuck you're talking about?"

Close, but not quite. "You. Pantsed. Me."

Her voice was quite, even though she was sitting right next to me. "No, I didn't"

I turned to look at her, and to my utter shock and amazement she looked sincere. "Bella, yeah you did."

She cocked her head to the side and looked at me. "Edward, to my knowledge, you only got pantsed once. And I didn't do it."

"Excuse me?"

"I didn't do it. It was Emmett. Don't you remember? He was standing right next to you."

Fuck.

He was wasn't he? That means that I'd spent the last seven years being mad at her... for nothing. Holy shit I felt like an asswipe. But wait... hang on. What the hell did my getting publicly humiliated have to do with me kissing her?

"Bella, I still don't get it."

"What?"

"Why would my humiliation have anything to do with... kissing you?"

I heard her groan, then felt the push of air beside me as Bella fell against the pillow. "Do you promise not to laugh?"

"Bella."

"Fine. Well, in the fifth grade... well, I... um... I kind of had a crush on you."

I turned toward her, intrigued. "You had a crush on me?"

She closed her eyes and I could almost feel her mood changing. "Yes, Edward. But then Emmett found out, and I assumed he told you. And then I heard that you were... embarrassed that someone like me wanted to kiss someone like you."

Well, balls.

That just didn't make sense. She hated me because she liked me? Um, 'kay. "Bella, he never told me that."

Her eyes snapped open, but she didn't look at me. "You really didn't know?"

"Not a clue."

"You're kidding. Cullen, this is one of your sick jokes. Make fun of Bella; kick her when she's down. That's low. Even for you."

I sucked up my pride and decided to do the equivalent of walking on the moon in our relationship. I curled my fingers under her chin and titled her head toward mine. "That is low," I murmured, "And I promise, Bella, I have never lied to you. Not ever. And even then, I never would have said anything like that to you or about you. I just wouldn't have."

Fuck.

I went a whole fucking sentence with out one fucking fuck. How the fuck did I do that?

I'm pretty fucking impressed.

Then something clicked in my brain.

Emmett.

EMMETT was the one who pantsed me. EMMETT was the one who told Bella I was disgusted by her. I dropped my hand from Bella's chin and felt the sly smirk play across my lips.

"What, Cullen? Why do you look like the cat who caught the canary?"

I didn't answer her. I got up, then scooped her off of the bed and started barreling down the stairs.

"Edward, seriously, you're freaking me out. What's going on?"

"We gotta bitch to kill."

**BPOV  
**  
What the hell was wrong with Edward?

"Edward, seriously. It's been one hell of a day, where the fuck are we going?"

"I told you," he said, not tearing his eyes from the road.

"Bitch, kill... this isn't an episode of the Soprano's you buffoon. Where are we going?"

"Emmett's."

"Uh, okay... why?" Completely confused table for one.

"Bella think about it. You and I were pretty good friends before everything right?"

I nodded my head back and forth, "yeah, I guess."

"And after Emmett told you he'd told me about your crush, and after he'd pantsed me in the pool the following weekend we pretty much hated each other right?"

"Yeah, true. But still, so what? It's not like you're gonna kick his ass over all this."

He turned his head to face mine and raised one eyebrow, grinning mischeivously.

Holy shit, he was.

"Edward, come on. He's like your best friend."

"_No_," he snapped. "_You_ were my best friend; until that cocksucker pulled this shit."

He pulled into the driveway and jumped out of the car, I was struggling to stand up when I glanced over at Edward pounding on the front door.

Emmett answered, and that's when it happened.

Right hook directly to the side of Emmett's face - courtesy of Edward Cullen.

"Edward!" I screamed, limping my way over to where he stood and Emmett was rubbing the side of his face.

"Cullen, why the fuck did you come to my house and punch me in the face?"

I couldn't help the laugh that came out. Emmett looked like he was in minimal pain, but aside from that no real damage done. They both turned to look at me as my laughter simmered down to a giggle and I covered my mouth with one hand.

Edward's gaze returned to Emmett's. "Because you _fucker_, Bell and I stopped talking because of you!"

Em held up his hands in defense. "Dude I do not know what the hell you're talking about, but I didn't cause the hate between you two. That shit was there a long time ago."

"Yea, because of _you_," Edward spat.

"The hell are you talking about bro?" Emmett looked completely bewildered.

"Why didn't you tell me that Bella had a crush on me in 5th grade, and yet you told her you'd told me and I'd rejected her?" Emmett's eyes went wide and he started laughing. The same kind of laugh he'd bellowed the first time he'd heard I liked him.

"That's _still_ not funny Emmett!" I pipped up, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Yeah, Bells, I still think it is."

"Well it's not. And besides that, why did you tell me that Bella was the one who had pantsed me, instead of owning up to it?" Edward asked with a clenched jaw.

"Dude, Edward, what kid wanted to take blame for _any_ prank _ever_? Seriously, I figured you always knew it was me and just blew it off cause you know it's the kind of shit I do all the time."

Edward continued to glare at him shaking his head, as if trying to make the decision if he wanted to try for another punch. Because the first one worked _so_ well.

"Wait... so _that's_ why the both of you hated each other so much?" Emmett's eyes went wide as realization dawned on him, and if possible, he laughed even louder than before. "Man, this is one for the books! I mean... wow. So you hated him because you thought he rejected you and you hated her cuz you thought she put little Ed on display for all to see?" His laughter started all over again, doubling in volume as he placed a hand over his chest. "Just... gimme a sec guys... this shit is _too _funny," he replied breathlessly as wave after wave of chuckling went through him.

In the meantime, Edward and I stood there both with our arms crossed over at our chests. After another full minute, and Emmett still laughing his stupid ass off, Edward turned on his heel. "Fuck you Emmett. Because of you I missed out on seven years worth of time with my best friend. Go fuck yourself, you and I are done." He replied stoically as he began walking to his car.

What? Seriously? Over a fucking prank?

I tried to chase after him, but it was the tortoise trying to catch the hare in a sprint instead of marathon. I barely made it to the care before he sped off.

"Edward? Seriously? You're going to write off a million years of friendship because of a prank, and because you and I weren't friendly?"

He sighed and turned to glance at me before looking back at the road. "Emmett knew how upset I was over the incident at Jasper's house. He's _known_ how much it bugged me. And he never once said anything. So it's not about you and our friendship, but the fact that he had years to fess up and never did. He had to have some indication that's why we didn't talk. I mean I stopped talking to you all together the day after it happened."

I glanced down at my hands that were clasped together tightly. "I remember," I whispered. I could feel his eyes on me, but refused to look up. His hand gripped both of mine and squeezed them briefly. "Hey, I want you to know I meant what I said earlier. I would have never said anything like that about you or to you, even if Em had told me how you felt back then." That made me feel slightly more at ease, but not entirely.

I lifted my head and tried my best to smile. "Well if it makes you feel any better, I no longer have the desire to kiss you at all anymore."

His hand left my own and returned to its place on the steering well. "Well good, it's better that way."


	11. Chapter 11

Three Updates?

Shit, we're awesome

Yeah, I don't know if the 3 updates in one day evens out not updating for like a week Bels.

Dude, that's two more updates than I did for TE this week...

Not sure the peeps take that into consideration.

Oh right, this is our a/n. Ok usual stuff, neither Bels nor I own these characters however much we wish we did (though I **know** Bels does a better A/U Edward than Ms. Meyer ever could).

Ok, seriously, Kel??? Seriously??

Seriously.

*mega eye roll*

You wanna give a hollar to anyone this week Bels?

Hmm, well, there's the usual suspects... Little Miss Whitlock (cause without her, I'd prolly be brain dead) aliceg (cause she rocks my socks hardcore) and, umm... Did I miss anyone (prolly...)?

Yep, my Aussie sister Zephyr Girl 77

Wow... I'm kind of an idiot

You speak nonsese! How about we let these beezies read the next chap, eh?

Sounds like a plan... oh and reviews? They're like our air... help us breathe =]

So poetic Bells.

well, ya know...

* * *

**EPOV**

I felt the silence around us as I drove back to my house. "What do you mean?" I heard Bella ask. I sighed out of annoyance. Why did I have to explain absolutely everything?

"Bella, it may have been a fucked up and contrived situation, but either way you and I have been in a constant state of disgust for the last seven years. That doesn't vanish overnight. Of course you don't want to kiss me anymore; you hate me. You've spent the last seven years _hating _me. And... it's the same for me. You might have been my best friend seven years ago, but you aren't now."

She didn't say anything to me after that; she just kind of sat there, twisting her fingers in her lap. Yeah, I was uncomfortable too; we were doing uncomfortable shit. That's just the way it was. I didn't know what to say after that. It is what it is. I could be pissed as hell at Emmett, and willing to be at least friendly to Swan from now on, but to just go back to that...

How could we?

It just wouldn't work, and I think that she knew that deep down. Maybe we just weren't fucking compatible.

I pulled into my driveway and got Bella out. She sighed as I lifted her into my arms, but she didn't hold on to me as tightly as she used to.

"Are you okay?" I asked, walking slowly up the stairs.

"Fine." She said.

Suit your fucking self, Shrew Queen.

I got up to her room, and she pushed open the door for us and I deposited her on the bed. "Don't move, okay?"

She groaned and rolled her eyes, so I turned and walked out as she yelled, "Cullen! What the hell are you doing? You left the light on! You know I can't get out of this bed! Cullen! Seriously! Please come back!"

I laughed to myself and rolled my eyes. Somethings change; you can go through puberty, and get older and shit, but Swan would always be Swan. Always worried, always paranoid. Let's review the facts: Have I ever left Swan anywhere? Well, except for the library that one time, but I bought her shit. That doesn't count. She was still talking when I walked back into the room. Babbling about whatever the fuck she thought I was doing now.

"...And, I mean, it's just not nice! You know my shit's fucked up--"

"Bella, do us both a favor and shut the hell up for a second."

She did, and then stared at me. "Where did you go?" She asked, folding her arms across her chest.

I threw the deck of cards on her bed and she quirked an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes and sat down across from her. "Edward, I don't think I remember how to play."

"Yeah, you do. It's only gin." I pushed the deck toward her. She always dealt first. She pulled the cards carefully out of the sleeve and started to shuffle. "So is this how you're getting back on my good side?"

I laughed, "No. I don't need to be on your good side. We just need to get along again, and I figured this was the easiest way to do it."

"You could've just apologized."

"No. One, I have nothing to apologize for, and two, it'll be awkward if we don't bond a little."

"So we're playing cards?" She asked, as she started to pass them out.

"We're playing cards."

I picked up my cards, and watched her for a second as she got set up. She was still exactly the same. She had already pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, and was flicking the top onf the cards with her fingers.

Some things really don't change.

Suddenly her eyes lifted to meet mine and she gave a sly smile, "Your move, Cullen."

**BPOV**

We barely talked as we played, only shouting out "GIN!" as we took turns winning. I tried not to look at him too much, except for at his hands and his knee. The entire situation was surreal. I wasn't used to Edward being genuinely friendly, and I wasn't used to not feeling like I had to always play defense when we were around each other. So rather than open my mouth and possibly say something unfriendly out of habit, I kept it shut. It was just easier that way.

Occasionally I would glance up at him, a few times I caught him looking at me, but mostly he seemed incredibly fixated on his cards. Edward barely talked aside from a scoff as I shouted that I won, or at the hand he had been given. Neither one of us asked if we wanted to keep playing, we just kept dealing, alternating every other game. Around our five millionth game, I started yawning.

"Getting tired?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Not really."

His eyes looked to my right, where the alarm clock sat. "We've been playing for 3 hours."

"No shit?" I turned my head to check the clock. Holy crap, he was right.

"Yeah, I think maybe we should call it a night. So I won all but what 2 hands right?" He asked with a smirked.

"If you mean 'i' as in 'Bella', then yes."

He coughed out a laugh and smiled widely. My stomach did that butterflies fucking thing again and I stared down at it.

"You hungry?"

My eyes shot up to his face. "What?"

"You're looking at your stomach, so I figured that meant you were hungry."

"Oh, no... well, maybe now that I think about it. Yea, I definitely _am_ hungry." Yes, the butterflies were definitely hunger flutters.

He sat up and held up a finger. "Give me one sec, I'll whip something up real quick."

"What? No, I can go down there and make a sandwich."

He shook his head. "Bella, did you eat today?"

I looked down at the floor; he knew the fucking answer. No.

"Exactly, so since this will be your only meal of the day, it should be good right?"

"Sandwiches are good."

"Yea, but I mean _great_. Are sandwiches great?"

"Sometimes, when you're really craving one."

"And are you really craving one?" He asked raising a single brow.

"No... I suppose not."

"Then give me 10 minutes. I'll be right back."

**EPOV**

She really didn't have any faith in my culinary abilities. Honey, I put the Cul in Culinary. Duh.

I went downstairs and surveyed the contents. Not a whole hell of a lot. I sighed and pulled out the peppers and tomatoes, then went into the pantry to grab the bag of tortellini, and a can of chick peas. Pasta Salad's good; filling, but still tasty.

Fuck.

Tasty.

Fuck.

I'm over it.

I grabbed a pot and put it to boil before heading upstairs to get the injured one. She didn't need to sit there by herself. I went up the stairs and I felt this really fucked up surge of... something start to run through me. It was like I was fucking made of electricity or some shit, and the closer I got to Bella the stronger it got. Fuck, she must have infected me with her alien germs. Shit, now I'd have to go get tested. I went into her room, and as usual, she hadn't fucking moved.

"So, we're going to eat invisible food?"

I rolled my eyes and looped her arm over my neck, "No smartass. it's just gonna take longer than ten minutes so I thought maybe you'd keep me company."

She rolled her eyes and smirked at me. "Suuurrrrrrre you did."

"Whatever, Bella."

I brought her into the kitchen and put her on one of the stools, then grabbed a knife to start chopping the peppers and tomatoes. "You don't like onions, right?"

She smiled at me. It wasn't the usual sarcastic smirk, though. It was an actual, genuine smile. I wondered if she knew she was doing it. "Yeah. Onions are my nemesis."

"Funny; I thought that was me."

"Cullen, please. You were never my nemesis. My foe, yes." She nodded at her joke,as I handed her a bottle of water from the fridge, then continued chopping. "You're gonna cut yourself."

"No, Bella. I'm not. I know what I'm doing."

"Tut tut. Famous last words Cullen." I scraped the bits of pepper and tomato into piles on the cutting board, then smirked at her. Ha, Swan. Wrong so frequently, yet still high and mighty. But hey, if it helps her sleep, right?

I dumped the bag of tortellini into the pot of water, then grabbed the Wishbone packet to make the dressing. I was mixing the stuff up in the container when I looked up at her. Don't ask me why I did it; it was like some other force _made_ me do it. So I did. And fuck, she just looked ridiculous amounts of unhappy as she traced small circles on the counter top.

"Hey, Bella. You okay?"

She didn't look up, but kept on moving her fingers across the smooth surface. "Yeah, I was just thinking about... stuff. It's been a long day, you know?"

I nodded and flipped the knob for the burner. "Do you want me to take you back upstairs? This'll keep for tomorrow."

She laughed, and looked up at me her eyes wet with tears. I kinda tore me up. "No, I can't walk out on two of your meals, can I?"

I looked at her a second longer, before turning back to strain the pasta. I felt weird about feeling bad for Bella. I know we'd figured shit out, but I still couldn't get over the fact that she was the very same Isabella Swan who I had detested for the last seven years of my life. My mind was screaming at me to cut it the fuck out, while something else was telling me to open myself up to her. I was so fucking confused. I ran cold water over the pasta before putting it in a bowl and throwing in the rest of the shit.

"Cullen, you okay?"

"Hmm? Yeah, I'm fine."

"Seriously, you look like you're about to blow a gasket."

"Bella, I said I was fine."

I looked up at her, and she was staring down at her lap again and I instantly felt like shit. I seriously couldn't do this with Swan. it was fucking hopeless. I scooped out the pasta into two bowls and grabbed utensils before I sat down next to her. She just looked at the dish in front of her. I sighed and tugged at my hair.

"Look, Bella, I'm sorry I'm being rude all the time, but the thing is I don't know if we can do this. It's like we're jumping right from... whatever the fuck we were to best friends again. And Bella, I just don't see how that's gonna work."

She kept her focus on her hands before she finally looked up at me, her emotions sealed off behind those crazy brown eyes. "Uh, I... umm... well, yeah. I guess, if that's what you want."

I could see her eyes searching mine for something, and I really hoped that she could tell I was being honest. Because I was. "Yeah. I think it's best."

"So that means that you don't have to carry me all over the place, okay?" She said as she put a forkful of pasta in her mouth. I watched her as she chewed, slowly at first then finally giving into the divinely imparted skill that is my cooking. "Oh, God Edward. If I had known you were this good, I would've eaten those pancakes."

I laughed and ate a bit, "Well, now you know. Oh, and by the way, I'll carry you when ever and where ever I want."

Oh, no.

Where the fuck did that come from? SHIT.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" She was getting mad; I could tell from the tone she was using. "I'm not a doll, Edward."

I looked over at her, and she was staring back at me intently, "it's just the easiest way. Not to mention the safest?"

She quirked an eyebrow and I could see her smile slowly starting to come back. "And why's that?"

I shrugged and focused on my food, "Cause I know I won't let you fall."

We were quiet after that, and I was glad that she ate everything I put in front of her. She was getting fucking emaciated. She finished and watched me wash the dishes and put everything away. Then, like I promised, I looped her arm back over my neck and carried her up to her bedroom.

Cause that's what we neanderthals do best.

**BPOV**

Which way?" Edward asked as he stood in the hall between our bedroom doors.

"What?"

"Well, I mean you said you were having trouble sleeping the other night, so did you want to take my bed again? I don't mind the couch."

He couldn't keep doing this. The uber-nice Edward thing was getting too hard to handle since it was coming at me nonstop. "Oh, um... no. My room is good."

"Okay," he replied opening the door with one hand, not letting me go. He didn't let me fall, just like he said. I sighed internally. Fuck he really needed to stop being nice, it was starting to get irritating since I was still mad at him, even though I had no logical reason why. He sat me down on the bed, quickly propping up a couple pillows as I scooted up towards the top of the bed.

"You all set?"

"Mhm, thanks. For everything I mean - dinner, the carrying me around like a sac of potatos, all of it. Dinner was especially good."

"Yeah, no problem. I like cooking. Plus carrying you around is helping me build muscle, so the next time I punch Emmett he may actually have a reaction to it besides laughter."

We both chuckled, and I thought about earlier that evening at Emmett's. Had it really only been hours ago?

He ran a hand through his hair, pulling on it a little. "I'm gonna head to bed, unless you need anything else?"

"Edward, I do need something."

"Yeah?"

"I need you to stop treating me like you're my butler. I appreciate everything, but seriously... it's a little weird."

He grinned that fucking smirk that made girls' panties wet and nodded. "Fair enough, I'll try. But like I said downstairs, I'm not going to stop carrying you around."

Sighing I nodded, "agreed. Oh and you're still my personal chef. That dinner was a-mazing."

He smiled. "Glad you liked it."

I smiled back and for a brief moment we stared at each other; it felt like there was an electric current not letting me look away. I bit my lower lip and his smile fell a little as he shook his head. "Anyway, night Bella. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Mhm, good night Edward."

He turned and walked out of my room, closing the door behind him.

I stared up at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. I was exhausted and my brain was in the middle of a vicious battle with my eyes. Every time I closed them however, I pictured Edward. Normally that wouldn't bug me _too_ much because it was usually me beating the shit out of him, or watching someone else do it. But not this time; tonight, when I closed my eyes I pictured Edward and I kissing. In the short lived dream I'd had before my eyes snapped open, his lips were pressed against mine and that warmth that I felt when our skin touched spread from my lips down to my stomach. My eyes had opened abruptly when I felt his tongue slip between my lips. My body felt like it was on fire and my heart was beating so fast I was panting.

This couldn't be good.


	12. Chapter 12

Bells, what do you think? Are you out of steam yet? This is one hell of a fucking chap, if I do say so.

Hmm, good question. And sorry, but I have to quote Edward, "Not fucking likely." Work for you?

Are you even allowed to quote shit you wrote? Does it really need quotes at that point?

Prolly... I mean, you KNOW Edward was thinking it at some point during that novel, the rights to which we don't own =]

Right, but in the novel by S Meyer, I don't think she ever uses the word "fucking" so technically that's all you Bell.

Well, yeah, true. But that's only becuase I have a redic potty mouth.... and an aversion to the ominous fade to black...

Which is why we write lemons? Can I once again shamelessly plug your story **Those Eyes**? Because seriously folks, best story on .

Umm, Kel, we write fucking Lemon trees, and I suppose I have no choice, right? So what do I get to plug? How about... OH! I tots got this shit. Head over to Little Miss Whitlock's page and check out **The Muffin Man**... Lemon Love Muffins, 'nuff said. And don't forget to vote for it when you're done! It's an entry to kittenmuschief's "That's Mr. Hot Bitch to You" contest. K, I think I'm done. You good, Kel?

Um, what the diff between lemons and lemon trees? Are they like limes? And yeah, I'm done.

Oh shout out to Clancy119 just because. Kay, now I'm done for reals this time. Oh! Reviews encourage us to write chaps this long.

Ohh good call!

* * *

**BPOV**

The stupid fucking alarm clock went off what felt like 10 minutes after I finally passed out. My eyes finally won; however my brain conceded and due to sheer exhaustion I was able to have a dreamless sleep.

Thank god.

I was so annoyed with myself. What, so Edward is nice to me for a day and all of a sudden I want to start kissing him again? No, no and just... no. Fuck, there I was thinking about kissing Edward again. "Ugh!" I shouted in frustration. I sat up and hobbled as quickly as I could to the closet and grabbed clothes for the day. Ugh, my first day back to school; what a way to start it.

After grabbing a pair of jeans and a hoodie, I made my way to the bathroom. Edward's door was cracked open and the smell of his bodywash - minty eucalyptus - filled my nostrils and my head floated back to the other night when I was inundated with the scent. Reflexively, I yawned and opened the bathroom door to get ready.

Fuck. my. life.

There was Edward standing in just a towel.

"Didn't think to knock?" He asked, chuckling.

**EPOV**

She was just standing in the doorway, arm still extended and her eyes wide open. I could see her mouth moving as it tried to form sentences, but alas nothing came out. I laughed again and ran a hand through my hair.

"Bella, did you need something?"

"I... uh... I, umm. Tooth brush."

I laughed again. This was incredibly entertaining. Maybe I could get her to do it every morning. That'd be fun. I went over to our double sink and picked up both of our tooth brushes and handed her hers. She took it hesitantly and I started brushing my teeth while she tried to decide whether or not it was kosher. Finally, she started brushing. I didn't know why she was so jumpy. After all, it was only me. I rinsed and replaced my brush, then turned to her, "Bella, we'll leave in 15, okay?"

She nodded, her eyes still wide as I went into my room to get dressed. I laughed to myself again when I thought about her reaction just a moment ago.

Today was going to be priceless.

I changed quickly, and went across the hall to knock on Bella's door. I let myself in after she didn't answer for a minute and found her trying to put her shit into her bag.

"Let me help you," I said as I took her crap from her. She snatched it back defiantly, "Edward, what part of NO BUTLER didn't you get?"

I sighed, "Bella, you are a fucking cripple right now. This isn't me being your butler, this is me being a decent human being." She snapped her mouth shut and glared at me as I picked up her things. I took one final sweep around the room, then grabbed her rain jacket and helped her slip into it.

"Ready?" I asked, as I helped her with her shoe then stood in front of her.

"Uh, yeah, I guess."

"Okay, c'mon spider monkey." I pulled her up and carried her and her shit out to the car and headed for school. The whole ride over there, I was completely preoccupied with what everyone would think about Bella and I. I mean, we'd be unfriendly for so long that friendly seemed nearly impossible at that point. But regardless, we were here, and we'd have to face the masses at some point.

"Hey, what are you going to do about Emmett?"

Oh, yeah. That.

"Um, nothing. I wasn't aware that I had to do anything about him."

She shrugged. "Well, you aren't friends anymore, so..."

"So what?" I said, as I turned into the lot. "It's not like he was my only friend. And, really, it's not that big of a deal. I just need to make a point."

I shut off the car and she unbuckled her seat belt. "Well, be careful. You might end up losing him."

I sighed and went around to help her out of the car. I knew she was right, but at the same time, I knew that I wouldn't let it get that far. Hell, Emmett wouldn't let it get that far. Bella was braced against me when I felt a hard slap to my chest.

"Let her go, you mongrel," Rosalie sneered, "She doesn't need your diseased ass touching her." I scowled at her, and she yanked Bella away a little too quickly, making Bella stumble a bit. I reached out to steady her, and I could see the momentary lapse of fear. "You okay?" I asked her, but she just kept on staring and didn't say a word.

"Let. Her. Go." Rosalie added, then brought Bella over to the minions.

Yeah. Today was definitely going to be priceless.

**BPOV  
**  
I hated being the center of attention, of any amount of attention for that matter. And Rosalie wasn't making it any easier as she kept bombarding me with "you okay?" and "god! I can't believe Cullen sometimes! You aren't his personal rag doll!"

Her own worried questions and accusations seemed to fuel everyone else and as we walked into the building to start the day, random people had swarmed around us, wanting to know what I knew, how I was, and how it felt to lose both parents in one night. _Fan-fucking-tastic, obviously__**. **_Ugh, people were nothing but idiots.

First period AP English was no better. Fortunately I had Angela in the class, who asked me nothing aside from the generic "how's it going?" She didn't push beyond that and I loved her more than anything for it. No one else was that respectful. Even her boyfriend couldn't help himself and asked how it was living with Cullen.

"It must suck balls to have to live with someone you hate so much after something like _that_ happens."

I gave him a tight lipped smile and nodded. "Mhm, totally."

The bell finally rang, 45 minutes later and I did my best to rush out of there as fast as my handicapped ass would take me. I was hoping to avoid Rosalie at all costs; I didn't need nor want a repeat of this morning's 3rd degree.

"Bella?"

My head spun around amidst the flurry of students trying to see who had said my name. Once the crowd had died down some, I saw Edward standing beside the row of lockers outside the door.

"Hey Edward. I don't need your help getting to 2nd period, it's like halfway down the hall."

"I wasn't going to offer," he retorted coldly.

"Oh sorry. I just thought..."

"Yeah and I fucking thought we were cool."

"What?" What the fuck was he talking about?

"Cool, you know? As in not fucking seething enemies anymore."

"We... are..." I said my eyes widening and looking at him, completely confused.

"Then why did you let Rosalie just _drag_ you away like that? I told you I got it."

"Um..." I shrugged. I didn't realize it was that big of a fucking deal. "Well one, what difference does it make? I made it from point A to point B without incident or further injury. And two, she didn't _drag_ me. Well maybe she did; she was walking kind of fast... but no matter. She's my friend, why would I have _protested_?"

He shook his head. "Bella, I told you. I'm here to help you while you're fucking _useless_. Rosalie doesn't need to, especially when all she does is take you to swarm of teenage piranhas that were just _waiting_ to assault you."

Really, _assault_ me? Even after going through it, that seemed a bit far fetched. "Really Edward, _assault_ me?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "You know what I mean."

"Edward. She's my _friend_. You explicitly said that you did not want us to jump into a _friendship_. So whatever, we're not. So just because we are civil to one another doesn't mean that you can tell me who can approach me."

He shook his head. "Whatever Bella, maybe _Rosalie_ can hold you when you break down in tears from now on," he spat, brushing my shoulder as he walked past me.

I clenched my jaw to fight the tears that were threatening to fall and rubbed my shoulder. Fucking Cullen.

**EPOV**

Whatever, she deserved it. If Ben or Jasper ever said anything like that to Bella, I would've stuck up for her; I would've told them to lay off of her. But what does she do to me? Walks--no limps,rather-- the fuck away. What a fucking coward. She needed to grow a fucking backbone. But then I realized that maybe she didn't say anything because she didn't want to; maybe she didn't want to put it all behind us and move forward. Maybe she was just using me until she was (relatively) better and then it would be "fuck you Cullen" and she'd go back to being a bitch-o-matic.

Honestly, I didn't know how the fuck to feel about that.

I sighed and looked back at her from the door to our bio room, and she looked so fucking pathetic. She had one hand braced against the lockers and she was staring intently at her feet and she dragged herself down the hall. I should've gone back and helped her, but I didn't. If she didn't want my help, she wasn't going to get it.

I let myself in the room and headed over to my table, and I noticed a very unfamiliar but not all together unpleasant scent wafting toward me. I slid into my seat and turned toward the person to tell them to move, but I was immediately hypnotized by a pair of frosty blue eyes.

"Hello," She said, smiling gamely as she flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder, "I'm Tanya."

I smiled back at her and tapped my fingers on the table, "Edward."

Yup.

Still fucking priceless.

**BPOV**

I looked up from the floor, where I'd been cautiously taking each step; I didn't need to trip on my first day back. My eyes held on Edward, as I noticed a blonde sitting beside him - in my seat. I lifted an eyebrow and gave him a what the fuck look. He just shrugged and nodded his head towards the toe-head blonde sitting next to him. Right _catching me when I fall_ my ass.

I felt a grip on my waist and turned to see Mike smiling over at me. "You can sit with me today; it'll be awesome. Eric kinda smells funky anyway." I scoffed a little and nodded, smiling appreciatively. "Thanks Mike."

"No prob Bella."

We walked over to his table, and I turned my head back to look at Edward who was giving me a death glare. What the fuck ever Cullen, you fucking asshole. I didn't know why I was so ticked at his inability to ask the plastic doll to move, but the confusion didn't diminish my anger any. Ugh, now I'd be paired with an idiot and we'd never get the lab done in time.

I snapped my neck back around when I heard Mike's raised voice.

"I told you to get the _fuck_ up Eric. Bella's gonna sit here today."

"Fuck that, this is assigned seating Mike. Bella has a seat next to Cullen. If you two are that eager to make out go find another table."

Mike just shook his head and shoved Eric off his bar stool. The entire class erupted into laughter as Eric toppled to the ground, shaking his head. "Get over yourself Mike. Bella's not going to hook up with you even if you kicked my ass _and_ Edward's."

I laughed internally at the mental image of Mike trying to kick Edward's ass.

Nevertheless Eric moved to a new table and I took my seat next to Mike. I told him just to let me do the lab so we could finish quicker, and he didn't seem to mind nor take offense. Thank god; at least he wasn't like _some_ people who took everything fucking personally.

The lab was easy, and we (or rather I) sped through it in no time, giving us about 20 minutes to do whatever. I took a chanced look behind me and saw that Edward and the blonde bunny were sitting so close their arms were touching and they were laughing at something. It was surprising that Edward has passed up a solid learning experience for a new piece of ass - he loved learning. Oh who was I kidding? It wasn't surprising, it was just irritating.

"Hey Mike?" I asked turning back towards our table.

"Yea?" He asked, looking up from his cell phone where he'd been texting someone.

"Would you mind walking me to my next class? It took me like 10 minutes to make it halfway down the hall to bio today."

He smiled brightly, flashing almost all of his top row of teeth and nodded. "Of course Bella."

**EPOV**

So this chick Tanya was talking about moving up here from Hawaii or some shit. I suppose that explains the fake bake.

"So we were all on the beach playing volleyball, and--"

"So you just go out there, and play?"

She looked at me like I was demented, "Uh, yeah."

"You don't have to check in somewhere?"

She laughed a little girly laugh and playfully hit my arm, "No, silly. You just put on your suit and head on down."

She gave me a wicked smile, and I had a feeling that the beach wasn't the only thing she went down on. That's a little disgusting. I didn't think that sand in your shit was appealing. But, hey; who am I to judge? Anyway, she sat close to me the entire time, and I had to admit, it was kind of nice to get a little attention from someone who wasn't 1) Stanley or 2) Queen of the Shrew people. So I let her flirt. NO big deal; I'm a guy, she's a girl it all works out in the end.

"So, Edward, What's there to do in a town like this?" She linked her arm through mine and I cocked my head to the side as I looked at her. She was coming onto me, wasn't she? Huh. I'm not completely repulsed.

"Um, not too much. The usual stuff. You could always go into Port Angeles or Seattle."

She raised an eyebrow at me, and ran her fingers up and down my arm, "I suppose you could take me sometime?"

I shrugged, "Sure."

"Great." She released my arm, and turned back to the worksheet she was supposed to be filling out. After a minute she looked like her brain was about to explode so, she tapped my arm to get my attention again.

"So did you see that girl? The one with the cast? She's pretty vile, huh?"

I narrowed my eyes at her and I felt my chest tighten. It was such an awkward feeling to be having about Bella; it felt like my lungs couldn't expand properly, and the only solution was to choke the life out of Tanya. Or maybe Bella; I couldn't be sure.

"Oh, Bella? Well, she's been having a rough time lately, so she's been moody, yeah."

She laughed, and hit my arm again, "That's not what I meant. Just look at her: plain, ordinary, dull. I'm surprised she hasn't faded right into the paint yet."

That confused me. I'd thought many things about Bella in my lifetime, but trust those words never came to mind. "Hey, listen, I know that you're new here, so I'll cut you some slack, but really, don't talk about Bella like that. She's a good person, and she's been through a lot, okay?"

Tanya raised an eyebrow at me and smiled, "Whatever you say, sugar."

Oh, God really?

The bell rang then and I handed in my sheet, but not before Tanya gave me a peck on the cheek. "See you soon, I hope."

I smirked after her. Who wouldn't love that shit? I turned back to check on Bella, and maybe apologize for earlier. After that shit with Tanya, I realized that this had to be hard for Bella, too. We didn't know where we stood with each other, and she was probably having a tough enough day as it was. But my blood ran cold when I saw Mike Newton attempting to help her off of her stool. Fuck he was a dumb shit. He had one arm in both of his hands and he was lifting it instead of her. I took a deep breath and walked over to her, pushing Mike out of the way as I slipped my arm around her waist.

"I'll take it from here. Thanks anyway, Newton."

"But.. she wanted me to... wait!"

I sighed, and growled as I felt Bella's nails dig into my shoulder, "It's okay Mike. I'm going that way anyway."

I pulled Bella forward, but she was dragging ass and making it difficult. "Cullen, I did NOT want you to help me. I asked Mike."

"Yeah, but you have me; you don't need him."

"You seemed to have your hands full with blondie."

The mention of Tanya reminded me of what the purpose of all this was. "Look, Bella, I'm sorry about before. I was just mad. I thought... I guess I just thought that things had changed more than they actually had."

"You were still ridiculously out of line."

I shrugged and readjusted her against me, "Didn't say I wasn't. I just... hating you and being mad at you is exhausting, and I had fun the last couple of days with you, so... I don't know. I guess I was just hoping that that would be the way we could... act."

I looked at her out of the corner of my eye, and she was staring straight ahead. I really, really wished that I could read her mind. "Let's just start over, okay?" She said hopefully.

"Yeah, sounds good."

"So who's blondie?"

"Tanya. She just moved here from Hawaii. She wanted me to take her around a bit."

I helped her into her classroom and to her desk, "Well, that's good. Now you can carry someone else around."

I laughed, and took her hand, "Bella, you're the only girl I'll ever carry around."

She smiled up at me and blushed, so I laughed and gave her hand a squeeze before I walked out.

So fucking priceless.

**BPOV**

I hated that I couldn't hide my emotions. I especially hated it when my emotions helped my body to do shit like blush in front of Edward. I saw Emmett stroll into the classroom like he thought he was a fucking king and plop down beside me.

"You still mad at me too?"

I shook my head. "Nah, over it. bygones and all that..." I answered waiving a hand dismissively.

"Good, because seriously, that shit was _hilarious_," he replied laughing a little to himself.

"Yea... not quite _there_ yet."

His laughter stopped abruptly and he moved his fingers across his lips zipping them up. "Got it."

Miked jogged in a few minutes after the bell rang and Mr. Lawrence gave him a knowing glare as he plopped down in the seat in front of me. He turned around to face me when Mr. Lawrence began writing notes on the board.

"Hey Bella, you forgot these in bio," he said handing me my notebook and pen.

"Oh, thanks Mike."

"Yea, no prob. I can't believe Edward spazzed out like that. It's not like you're _his_ or anything. He's kinda creepy in how protective of you he is all of a sudden."

I laughed a little and shrugged. "He's just doing it to keep his parents off his back."

"Maybe, but his parents aren't here."

I thought about it; he was right, his parents weren't here. So then what the fuck? "Yeah, maybe he thinks I'll rat him out if he goes back to being an asshole." That must be why he made the comment about only carrying me around. He doesn't want me to see through his phoney niceness and tell Esme & Carlisle.

Well that just made me feel peachy keen.

Mike turned around to scribble some notes, and I looked at Emmett who looked like he was about to burst into laughter. The fucking goon was getting a kick out of Mike's and my interaction.

"What?" I whispered.

"You and Newton.... sitting in a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G.. first comes love, then comes hate then comes a weddin' just you wait."

I rolled my eyes. "Lamest adaptation ever, Em. Really."

He grinned and shrugged. "It was a prediction, not a whatever-you-called-it."

The bell rang, and I bent over in my seat to grab my backpack.

"Hey Bells?" Mike asked me. Fuck, please don't ask me if you can walk me to class.

"Yea?" I replied, sliding my books into my backpack.

"I uh... was wondering, if you might want to go see a movie Friday?"

"Um..." crap. This was worse than him asking to walk me to class.

"I mean.. uh... you must be totally bored at the Cullen house. It would give you a chance to get away from Cullen for a few minutes and forget about all the craziness going on."

Aw, that was almost kind of sweet. If only I didn't know how much he wanted to get in my pants. I sighed and bit my lip. "Sure, why not."

"Really?" His eyes went wide in shock and I giggled. Ugh, I fucking _giggled_.

"Yeah. It'll be good to get out of the house and actually do something fun."

"Great, uh.. I'll.. oh it's only Wednesday. Duh! I'll um... pick you up at 7 on Friday?" He said, stumbling over his words and feet as he backed up towards the door.

I nodded and turned to limp out of the classroom. My head spun around as I heard the infamous laugh. Emmett.

"Bells..." he said choking on his laugh as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "You about made him jizz himself just by saying yes to the MOVIES!"

I rolled my eyes and elbowed his side. "Shut up."

"Come on you rockstar. I'll even buy you lunch in celebration."

"What are we celebrating?"

"Get with it Bells! We're celebrating your soon to be deflowering!"

**EPOV**

I was sitting with Jasper, Alice, Ben and Angela waiting for the rest of the our table to file in. And because I'm a juvenile dumb fuck, Alice and I were having a thumb war.

"Hey, Alice, how come you were being such a bitch before?"

"Huh? Oh Rose does that to me sometimes. I didn't hurt your feelings, did I?" She raised an eyebrow at me and smiled.

I smirked back at her, "No way, cutes, just wondering."

"Cullen, get your own girl, that one's mine." Jasper said, feigning annoyance.

"No worries. I will."

"So you're finally going after Bella?" My head whipped around to Ben, who then got a swift elbow to the ribs from Angela, which made him spit soda all over himself.

"Uh, no. Definitely not Bella."

"Not Bella what?"

Oh, Fuck Swan. Could you have any worse timing? "Nothing important Bella." I heard Alice say, releasing my hand so I could pull the chair next to me out for Bella.

"No, just tell me. I'm curious."

I sighed and tugged at my hair, "Nothing. Just that you're probably out of commission for a while."

She raised an eyebrow and smirked at me, and I could hear Emmett stifling laughter. "Oh really? Says who?"

"Uh, Bella, in case you haven't noticed you're a cripple."

"Well, tell that to Newton," Emmett said/laughed.

"What do you mean, dickfuck?"

"You talking to me, Cullen?"

"I'm looking at you so I must be talking to you."

He sighed and shook his head, but continued, "Newton asked Bella out for Friday. And she said yes."

My eye went wide and I snapped my head around to look at Bella, "Please tell me you didn't"

She furrowed her brow and looked at me, "What's wrong?"

I sighed and tugged at my hair. What _wasn't_ wrong?

"OHMIGODBELLAWE'REGONNAHHAVESOMUCHFUN!!!! WE'LLDRESSYOUUPANDYOU'LLLOOKALLPRETTYAND--"

Jasper slapped his hand over Alice's mouth, cutting off her sentence. "What she means to say, Bella, is that she'd be glad to help you get ready. If you'd like."

Alice's eyes widened as she nodded against his hand. Bella laughed a little. "Yeah, that might be fun. Just be gentle, okay. I am a cripple." she elbowed me playfully, "Right, Cullen?"

I nodded and turned back to my sandwich. That feeling was back again, but this time it was worse. It was like someone just told me that my mother didn't really love me, and I had to move to Alaska. Conversation started around me but I didn't join in because I just couldn't shake this shit. I felt a finger poke my side, and turned toward Bella. "Are you okay?"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, "Yeah, I'm fine. You aren't in gym right?" She shook her head, "I'll take us home after next period? I don't have anything after english."

"Okay, are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it. I'll meet you outside of your class."

I didn't give her a chance to respond as I walked away, throwing out my meal on the way to english.

All of a sudden my day wasn't so priceless anymore.

**BPOV**

Edward really needed to get on some kind of medication for whatever fucking chemical imbalance he had. One minute we were cool, the next he was yelling at me, two seconds after _that_ he was carrying me to class, then he gave me the silent treatment through lunch.

And he said _I_ was the crazy one? Psh, projecting much?

I made it through Math without anything exciting occurring, except that blondie was in my class and kept giving me death glares. So aside from that little annoyance, class went by smoothly and fairly quickly. I started packing up a few minutes before the bell rang; I couldn't wait to go back to the Cullen's and fall asleep for the night. Well, maybe after an Edward-rific dinner. That's right, Edward-fucking-rific. I hadn't been to a lot of good restaurants, but I'm pretty sure that I had the best chef in the entire state of Washington living in the same house as me.

The bell sounded and I jumped up, wobbling a little as I steadied myself. I turned and saw blondie giggling to Jess and once again, staring right at me. Fucking cuntrag. Whatever.

I walked out the door, and saw Edward leaning against the opposite wall. He made his way over to me and grabbed my backpack.

"So now you're carrying me and my backpack?"

"I was carrying it regardless, right? It's just easier this way," he said wrapping an arm high on my waist as we started walking.

"Edward, wait up!" I heard a shrill voice squeak out.

We both turned around and saw blondie speedwalking towards us. Great.

"Hey Tanya, what's up?" He asked as he shifted me in his arms.

"What are you up to after school?" She asked, completely ignoring me.

"Oh, um... nothing?"

"Great! Did you want to take me to Port Angeles like we talked about earlier?" She asked, running a finger down his upper arm.

He coughed and shifted me again in his grasp.

"Actually, today doesn't work for me. It's our first day back, and we've got a lot of homework to catch up on."

The ho's face fell and she pouted, sticking her bottom lip out so far I wanted to yank it and see how far back it would stretch - like an episode of Ren & Stimpy.

"Well, don't keep me waiting too long Eddie. I look forward to sharing something with you after you've shared something of yours."

Wow. I was blushing _for_ her. That was just... wow. If that's the kind of girl Edward went for then I really DID have to worry about contracting some kind of airborne STD.

"Uh, yeah... that sounds, good. I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

Her lips turned up into a bewitching grin and she leaned over, kissing his cheek and whispering something in his ear that made his face flush.

"Right, yeah. I'll see you tomorrow." He said robotically, spinning us around and walking towards the main doors and out to his car.

The walk to his car was dead quiet. A pin dropping would have hurt your ears from it's echoing sound, it was THAT silent.

He opened the door for me and I slowly sat down in the bucket seat. He closed the door after I had gotten situated and jogged around to his side, throwing our bags in the backseat.

"So, you and blondie huh?" I asked peering over at him as he peeled onto the main road.

"So you and Mike huh?" He countered, not taking his eyes off the road.

"Yep."

"Yep."

"What made you finally say yes?" He said, taking a deep breath and visibly relaxing as he wove throught he familiar windy roads to his house.

I shrugged. I had no fucking clue. "He's always wanted me. Life's too short to get hung up on things like being a total putz. Maybe he's a total putz because he likes me _that_ much. What kind of idiot would I be if I turned him down for essentially liking me _too_ much?"

He smirked. "I think he's a _putz_ as you say, naturally. I don't think it has anything to do with liking you."

So was he insinuating that Mike didn't really like me? Or that he didn't like me a lot? What the fuck. Welcome back Twatward.

"Well, regardless. It'll be nice not being alone anymore."

"So you're dating him to not be alone?"

"Well, what better reason is there?"

"Oh, I don't know Bella - maybe because you _like_ the person?"

"I like Mike."

"Right..."

"I do! Not like I have to defend how I feel about him to you; I'm not _yours_." Wow, who knew I'd be agreeing to a date with Mike and quoting him in the same day? Or ever, for that matter.

"You're right on all accounts. I was just wondering what made you decide to agree now, after 3 years of him following you around like a puppy."

"He's only ever flirted in the past. The difference? He finally asked me, maybe. And I have to give him points for being couragous; he asked me in front of Em. That takes a pair. Just like blondie today."

That got his attention. He turned to look at me. "What?"

"What? She's new. You had your arm around me and she just _assumed_ we weren't together."

"And she should have?" He scoffed.

Ew. Twatward was definitely back in full force. "It would have been polite."

"For whom, me or you?"

Asshole. Fucking asshole. "Nevermind Edward. I told you I would stop giving you shit about catching something, so I'll refrain. Just remember to double bag it, just in case."

"Right; is this coming from experience little Miss Virtue?"

I rolled my eyes as we pulled into the driveway where Rosalie was standing, arms crossed and scowling. Fuck, what now?

"BELLA!" She screamed, opening the door violently. "What the FUCK?!"

I looked at her exasperatedly. "What did I do now Rose?"

She helped me get out of the car, glaring from me to Edward. "Can you give us a MINUTE you idiot?"

"What? I just got here. Jesus fucking Christ Rosalie, take a valium." He said grabbing our backpacks and walking towards the door.

She focused back towards me. "Emmett better have been fucking KIDDING when he said you had agreed to go on a date with Mike nitwit Newton," she scolded.

I shook my head. "No, he wasn't kidding. I am, Friday in fact."

"WHAT? Has living with Edward made you go fucking crazy Bella?! You HATE Mike!"

"No," I said pointedly. "YOU hate Mike; I'm apathetic."

"Same difference! If you're apathetic you SHOULDN'T date him!"

"Then what Rose? I should just wait for my prince fucking charming to come by? In case you weren't aware Rose, I'm ALONE!" I shouted. " I have NO ONE left. And I'm SORRY if you don't like Mike, or think he's not good enough, but that all I've got right now."

"What the fuck do you mean you're ALONE?! You have all of us!"

I shook my head. "It's not the same Rose, and you know it. You have Emmett, Alice has Jazz, Angela has Ben... fuck even _Edward_ has someone. So where's that leave me at the end of the day? Huh? I'll tell you where - ALONE!" I bit the inside of my cheek, to keep the tears from spilling. I did NOT want to have this conversation today, or preferably ever.

"Bella, that doesn't mean you have to settle for Fucknewton!"

"Then who Rose?" I said, sighing. "I'm not pretty like you, or charismatic like Alice, or sweet like Angela. Boys don't flock to me, and I'm tired of thinking I deserve more, or that I'll get more. I won't ever have the kind of love that you three have. The sooner I accept it the better."

"Hunny..." she replied, her voice softening and she wrapped her arms around me. "Sweetie, you will. You're amazing; you're warm and caring and selfless. Someday someone's going to see all of that and sweep you off your feet and you're going to be as stupidly in love as we all are. Promise."

"Yeah, well I don't want to wait and I need to be distracted right now, so Mike is a good option. And who is to say he and I won't fall in love?"

She smiled and I could tell she was holding back a laugh. However, Edward wasn't as considerate and I turned my eyes from Rose to Edward who was standing in the doorway cracking up.

**EPOV**

I was about to kill Rosalie, but I couldn't help laughing at them. As usual, Bella had managed to manipulate Rose into agreeing with whatever the fuck they were talking about. It didn't matter if Bella was a cripple or not, her power of persuasion was definitely still intact. I leaned up against the door frame and Rose turned around slowly.

"What part of go the fuck away didn't your miniscule brain understand, you amoeba? Did I use big words?" I narrowed my eyes at her in disgust as I made my way over to the two of them.

"First of all, you retarded piece of cheese, this is my fucking house, so I can be wherever the fuck I want, and secondly chill the fuck out. No one's trying to have shinier hair than you." I went over to Bella, who was still braced on the side of the car and slipped my arm around her again. I don't know why, but I pulled her even tighter into me.

"Edward, she doesn't want your germs!" Rose yelled, attempting to pull Bella from me. Who the fuck did she think she was? I pulled Bella carefully into my side, but kept my eyes trained on Rosalie.

"When the fuck are you gonna grow up, Hale? I don't have any more germs than you do, and honestly, it's getting a bit old. Just chill the fuck out, go bone your boyfriend and leave us the fuck alone."

She snorted and wrapped her tenticle like fingers back around Bella's wrist. "So you're an 'us' now? Figures. You've already fucked everyone else in this town. Is that why your being so nice to her Edward? Cause you're gonna fuck her brains out?"

She thought she had me with that, and I felt her give Bella another tug. But I was quicker. I put my other arm over Bella's shoulder and pulled her back into my chest. I felt her suck in a deep breath, but I didn't take my eyes off of Rosalie.

"Do not make assumptions about Bella and I. You know nothing. Now get the fuck off of my property before I run you over with my car."

She huffed, but got back into her car and sped off, but not before flipping me the bird. Yeah, because I didn't know she hated me before. I closed my eyes and of some inexplicable reason my head dropped down so that my cheek was resting on top of her hair. And she was still in my arms. And we were rocking.

What the fuck is my life?

My mind was absolutely livid with me then; it wanted me to pull away and let her fall to the ground. But something else... something stronger made me keep my grip on her; making it tighter even.

"Are you okay?" I murmured, not bothering to move.

"I.. um... yeah, I guess. But um, why are you, like, leaning on me?"

Oh, fuck. It never occurred to me that she'd be uncomfortable. I straightened up, but didn't release her. "Sorry, I guess I kind of... forgot."

"I, uh, well, it's no big deal. Just forget it."

I made some kind of non-committal noise, but for some reason I couldn't move or pull away. For the first time all fucking day, I felt... alright. And I had no fucking idea why, so I didn't want to mess with whatever equilibrium I had going on.

"Hey, listen," she started, shifting slightly. "Rosalie... she was... umm, well, that's to say that--"

"Bella, don't worry about it. It's over. It's done."

"Yeah, but I--"

"Really, it's fine. No worries, okay?"

She sighed, but didn't make any attempt to move away from me, nor I from her so we stood there. Sure, we probably looked awkward as fuck but honestly I didn't care. Then I had an idea.

"You're not tired or anything, are you?"

"No, why?"

I let her go to open my car door and my arms felt cold, "Get in."

"Where are we going?" She asked as she slid inside.

I grinned at her, "It's a surprise."

She rolled her eyes at me as I got in next to her and pulled out of the drive way. I couldn't help but smile at my own brilliance. Then I heard Bella suck in a labored breath.

"Hey, you okay?" There was fucking panic in my voice. She could not go and fucking die on me right now. That shit's just not cool.

"E-edward..."

"What, Bella?" I was getting really nervous now.

"You aren't taking me to...I mean, you and I aren't about to--"

"To what, Bella? What the hell are you trying to say?"

"...fuck." it was barely a whisper, and I was still fucking confused.

"Fuck what? C'mon, you have to tell me what's wrong. You're really freaking me out right now."

We came to a red light and I turned to look at her. She had her eyes cast down to her lap and her hair fell around her face like a curtain. "Are you... are you trying to _sleep with me?"_

I let out a huge sigh of relief and slouched back into the seat. Light turned green. "No, Bella, of course not."

I saw her head shoot up out of the corner of my eye, "Then what the fu--hell are we doing."

i laughed at how flustered she was, "Like I said, it's a surprise."

She sighed and I turned into the Humane Society parking lot. "What are we doing here?" She asked, her lips pulled together in a tight pucker.

I stopped the car and went around to get her out before I answered, "We're getting a puppy."

"A puppy?" She shrieked.

"Um, yeah Bella. It's a baby dog."

She hit my chest lightly and I opened the door for us, "I know what it is, Cullen. Esme's gonna kill you."

I knew this, of course. But once I told her it was for Bella, then I knew she'd be okay with it. My mother was many things, and inflexible just wasn't one of them. "It's no big deal, Bella. I'll take care of it."

"Are you sure?" She asked, just in front of the door way labeled "DOGS"

I smiled down at her, "I'm sure. Now pick one."

We walked up and down the five aisles before we found our puppy, or 'the baby' as Bella was calling him. He was being chased by his brother, so of course Bella said we had to save him and I have to admit, he was a cute little ball of fluff. They said he was a sheep dog, but I thought he looked more like a cotton ball. I laughed and paid for the pup, and after we went to pick up all of the new dog supplies. We were headed back home when Bella brought up a good point. "You know, the baby doesn't have name."

I shrugged and turned down my street, "So name him."

"I think you should."

"Bella, it's your puppy."

"No, it's _our_ puppy. And I got to pick him so you get to name him."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. It's only fair."

"What if I pick something you don't like?"

"I get power of Veto."

I laughed and thought a little. Then it hit me, "Mr. Smith."

"Oh, like my movie."

"Well, I suppose, but that wasn't what I was thinking of."

"No? What then."

"The Awful Truth. Cary Grant, Irene Dunne. Their dog was Mr. Smith."

"I forgot you liked that movie."

I shrugged and pulled into my driveway. No Rosalie, thank fucking God. I got out and went around, then scooped Bella and Mr. Smith into my arms. "Edward?"

"Hmm?" I was trying to focus on shutting the front door without dropping the two of them.

"I thought you said I was the only one you'd carry around."

I looked down at her as I started up the stairs, and she was smirking. "Actually, Bella, I said you were the only _girl _ I'd carry. Mr. Smith is clearly a boy."

"Clearly," she said as she opened her bedroom door for me. I put them both down on the bed and Smith started wobbling about around the mattress.

"Kinda like me, huh?" Bella laughed, smiling up at me. All of a sudden I felt all warm inside, and it freaked me out a shit ton. I focused back on Smith as he sauntered over to Bella's lap and curled up in it. She ran her fingers carefully through his fur, and in no time he was asleep.

"Edward, why did you really get him?"

I sighed and tugged at my hair, "Because this way, no matter what happens you won't be alone."

She looked up at me, and her eyes were hard, "You heard that?"

I nodded, wondering what the hell I had done wrong now.

"Well, thanks. First you laugh at my pathetic-ness and now you're feeding it. Wonderful. Did you think I'd make a better dog lady than a cat one?"

"Whoa, Bella, hang on. First of all, I wasn't laughing at _you_ I was laughing at Rose's dumb ass. She's an idiot and it's incredibly entertaining to watch her in action. And secondly, I would never say that what you were feeling was pathetic, because it's not. I've felt it too, on occasion." I hesitated and tugged at my hair, "And I can only imagine that it's been worse since... well, you know."

She nodded and looked back down at the puppy, who was now snoring slightly. And there it was, yet again. All that fucking unhappiness was back. I went around to the other side of the bed and sat down next to her. She didn't move, so I took the initiative and pulled her into me, so that her head was on my shoulder and my hand was running up and down her arm.

"You have more than just, Smith, though. We're all here for you-- I'm here for you. If you need us, that is." I felt her nod, and I held her for a moment longer. I finally pulled away and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" She called in a small voice.

I turned back to look at her tired eyes, "I'm gonna go bring his stuff in. Then I'll make us dinner. You hungry?"

She nodded and I went out to the car to bring our purchases in the house. Then I heard the car door slam.

"Edward? What is this?"

I groaned and shut my eyes. I was really, really hoping I could get Bella to tell her. "Um, hi Mom. We got a puppy."

Her mouth dropped open and she went pale, "Edward Masen Cullen you tell me you're kidding right this instant."

"I'd be lying if I did."

My mother came right up to me, her pale green eyes meeting my own, "Edward you bring it back right this instant. I will not have muddy paws in my house!"

I sighed and shifted the stuff in my arms, "Mom, it was for Bella. She said she was feeling lonely--alone, actually so I thought it might help."

I watched my mother's impenetrable stare falter ever so slightly, "Bella wanted a puppy?"

"Yeah."

"And she's attached to it?"

"His name is Mr. Smith."

She nodded decisivly and moved past me, "Then I suppose we'll have to keep him. But you two are responsible for him; He'll be your baby." She paused at the front door and let out an amused chuckle, "Imagine that: I'm a grandmother."

I rolled my eyes and followed her into the house. "Whatever, Mom."

**BPOV**

Stupid school. Stupid Bio homework. Stupid Mike. Stupid Edward.

I had determined in the 20 minutes since Edward had left to make dinner that everything right now was just.... dumb.

The weird pull I had to Edward was the dumbest of them all. And made _me_ look the dumbest. Maybe I could just transfer that stupid pull to Mike. That should be easy, right? Right.

Now if only this worksheet was that simple...

I heard a knock on the door and looked up to find Edward carrying a tray with 2 plates of food. I shut my textbook immediately and tossed it to the ground, taking a deep inhale.

"Mmm... that smells awesome."

He placed the tray on the nightstand and sat beside me leaning over and handing me one of the plates. "Glad you think so. It's just spaghetti marinara though - nothing fancy."

I sat up against the headboard and took the plate, drooling a little as I took another deep breath. "Who cares if it's fancy. It smells fucking fantastic."

He nodded and chuckled. "Well, thanks."

We ate at comfortable silence watching random TV while Mr. Smith laid at the foot of the bed, sleeping peacefully.

When we were done he took my plate and put it back on the night stand and rolled off the bed to grab the tray.

"Thanks again for dinner; and if I didn't say it already thanks for delivering it up here, too."

"No problem. It would have been a bit too much if we had dinner downstairs and got the firing squad over the dog."

My face fell. "Did you tell them?"

He nodded. "And just like I predicted, they said no to him being for me, but yes to it being for you. Though Esme said it was _our_ dog."

"That just means if we ever divorce, Esme will be in my corner for full custody."

He chuckled, "Yea, but that won't happen."

I blushed a little and looked towards Mr. Smith.

"Well.. um. I'm gonna bring these downstairs."

My eyes shot up. "Will you, I mean... are you coming back?"

His face softened and he smiled. "Yeah, once I get my homework done. Cool?"

I nodded, "Yep."

He nodded too and walked out, closing the door behind him.

It was almost 10 before I heard a knock on my door. I was still trying to get through the mass of homework we'd been given since I had been severely distracted by the most adorable puppy in the entire world for over an hour when he thought it'd be fun to nudge my cast with his head... repeatedly.

"Bella?" Edward whispered through the door before slowly opening it. "You awake?"

"Yep!" I shouted to get the point across. He laughed, walking over and ruffled the top of Mr. Smith's head. I had to consciously stop my jaw from dropping. Edward was only in a pair of boxers.

"Uh... um... what's all this?" I said motioning with a finger to his attire.

He laughed a little. "What, you honestly expected that you'd get to sleep with him just you two? What about my lonliness?"

"You're lonely?" I asked skeptically.

"Well... no. But I am jealous that you get to sleep with him and I don't," he quipped grabbing my books off the bed and dropping them onto my desk in the corner of the room.

"Hurry up and get changed though; I'm exhausted. It's been one hell of a day."

"That is has, but that doesn't give you a reason to be bossy. What if I'm not tired?"

"You're not?"

"No, I'm exhausted but that's not the point. You didn't know that before you demanded I get ready for bed."

He sighed. "Fine, fine. Bella, princess Bella, mother of our... dog. Are you tired?"

I held back a giggle and nodded.

"Wonderful, then princess Bella, mother of our dog... would you _please_ get ready for bed so that we can both pass the fuck out?"

"God Edward, you're so sweet sometimes. It's a wonder you don't have a flock of women outside your door," I replied sarcastically stepping into my closet and closing the door so I could change.

"Who says I don't and that I'm just not hiding in here to avoid them?" He shouted so that I could hear him through the door.

"Wouldn't you have had to get through the crowd to get to my room? Therefore they'd still know where you were," I shouted back, throwing on a t-shirt and a pair of pj shorts.

"Touché Bella, touché," he admitted as I hobbled out.

He had already turned down the sheets and Mr. Smith had already picked a side of the bed; unfortunately it wasn't the foot of the bed but rather the left side.

I crawled onto the bed, and flopped down beside him. He lifted his head at the motion, and I patted him. He lifted his head and licked my palm.

"I think he loves you more than me," Edward whispered behind me. My heart sped up at the double meaning and I turned to face him. "What?"

"He hasn't licked me yet; he must love you more," he said teasingly.

"Everyone does," I smirked.

He smiled down at me and my heart sped up at his proximity. Fucking exhaustion was fucking with my head.

He reached over and turned off the lamp on my nightstand. When he rolled over, I wasn't sure how close to lay next to him so I scooted as close to Mr. Smith as I could.

"Where are you going?" He asked in the darkness.

I turned to face him. "Oh, um I was giving you some space. I figure you usually sleep alone so you'd want more room."

"Yeah, but I knew I was sleeping in here - a full size bed, with another person and a puppy. I figured space would be limited."

"Oh... right..." I said trailing off. My eyes were fixated on his and my breath was heavy from inhaling too much _Edward_.

His body moved closer to mine and I bit my bottom lip.

His eyes were burning into mine and I tilted my chin up as I felt his arm wrap around my body and I pressed my lips against his slightly parted ones.

Holy fuck I was kissing Edward Cullen. And double holy fuck, he was kissing me back.


	13. Chapter 13

Cause Kel's trying to kill me...

whatev POV nazi.

*doe eyes* who? Me?

duh.

You love me, admit it.

obviously.

So I have to apologize to you guys for not replying to your reviews to the last one; I did this instead, and let's be honest, I got a shit ton. I did read them though, and I LOVED every single one. You guys are seriously bomb. Like hardcore.

Agreed. Oh and um, like always, no matter how much we wish it were different, S Meyer owns these characters and she owns the hell out of fade to black. Seriously, the woman should get a fucking award for her ability to build something up 4 gigantic books worth only to have what we all want fade to fucking black. No, i'm obviously _not_ bitter.

Uh, you sure? Cause I'm feeling a bit of tension... maybe you should go... break something down?

No, someone should buy me a puppy instead... you know, to cheer me up.

K, I'm on it... but maybe you'll take a ton of reviews in the mean time?

Def.

* * *

**EPOV**

I kept my eyes shut and tried to forget who I was kissing because it felt too fucking good to stop. Her lips were soft as they moved with mine, and I felt her hand come up to the base of my neck. She moaned against my mouth, and I pulled her in tighter. Then Smith barked. Fuck.

She pulled away suddenly, and even in the minimal light, I could see that her eyes were wide. "I guess he's too tired for us to stay awake." She choked out.

"Uh, yeah," I coughed. "We should probably get some sleep. School and shit. Hey, who's gonna watch our boy while we're at school?"

She smiled up at me and I couldn't help but notice that her arms were still wrapped around my neck; but then again, I was still holding onto her like she was the last life vest on a sinking ship. "I don't know, I hadn't really thought about it."

I nodded, and my forehead came in contact with hers briefly, and I hate to fucking say it, but I lingered. My eyes snapped open again, and I quickly pulled away. "Bella, I... fuck. I'm sorry. Shit. Look, I shouldn't have done that, and I, uh, well, I'm sorry."

She looked completely confused. "It's okay. I mean, I started it, so..."

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess you did. So we're okay?"

"Um, yeah?"

"Okay, good. That's... good."

"Right, good."

I stayed where I was, my arms folded across my chest in an attempt to contain the depleting warmth.

"Um, Edward?" Her voice was small and fragile.

"Yeah?"

"I know it's all weird and shit now, but do you think that maybe you could... hold me?"

Wow. I was completely expecting her to kick me out. "Uh, yeah. Sure."

I reached back over and pulled her into me, tucking her head under my chin. She slowly put her arms up to my chest, and finally relaxed into me as Smith settled in between our legs. Thank God for small miracles.

Oh, and by the way: What the fuck was I getting myself into?

**BPOV**

Fuck. Shit. God damn mother fucker.

I had kissed Edward. I had kissed Edward and it was such a bad idea, that _he_ had tried to apologize to _me_. Seriously. I was a grade-A dumb ass. And what made me an even bigger jackass was that I liked it - _really liked it_. And even despite his obviously repulsion to it, I kinda wanted to do it again.

I pressed my head against his chest and took a deep breath. His grip tightened and I felt him rub his cheek against the top of my head. My thoughts drifted to the feel of his lips and I fell asleep to the sound of his heart beat.

**EPOV**

She was right there;right fucking there, and I was so fucking confused. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Just keep on doing this for the sake of our dog-child? I looked down at him as best I could, and smiled to myself. He was too fucking cute for his own good. Cute. Bella could be cute. Like before, when she was teasing me about the throng of women at my beck-and-call. That was fun. She was happy and smiling. She was actually kind of... cute.

Like puppy cute, not girl cute. God, I don't even know what the fuck that means.

Whatever. We were totally fucked now anyway, and tomorrow morning everything would be forgotten. She would go back to being moody and ornery, and I would take it. Because that, apparently, is what I do best.

I drifted off after a bit, only to be awoken by my child, nipping my ankles. I really, really hope babies don't do that shit. "Okay, Smith, okay. Take it easy; I'm not responsible for what happens if you wake your mother."

He stopped as I started to shift and stood up on the bed, wagging his fluffy little tail at me. I pulled myself away from Bella, and scooped Smith off the bed and brought him into my room so that I could put on some clothes before taking him outside. He barked softly at me nearly the entire time. My son was wicked impatient. "Easy, we're going."

I pulled my sweatshirt over my head, and went downstairs with Smith fast on my heel as we got out the door. He bolted across the lawn, and at first I panicked, but then I saw him chasing the birds in the distance, and I relaxed. It's funny how attached you can get to something in only a day; it's as though I couldn't even remember life before him. He ran around a bit and did his business, then we went back in the house, so I fed him.

"Glad you're taking responsibility for your actions," my father said as he waltzed into the kitchen. "He is kind of cute, though."

I smirked, and called over my shoulder, "Well, he is my son after all."

I could hear my father laughing as I headed up the stairs. I checked on Bella, who was still sound asleep, before taking a quick shower and shaving. It had been a while since I'd done that shit. By the time I was finished, I still hadn't heard a peep from Bella, so I carefully pushed open her bedroom door. Well, she was up alright. She had her back to me, and she was wearing some skimpy underwear and nothing else. She swished her hair around her shoulders before pulling it up into a pony tail and reaching over for her bra, which was thrown across the bed. Yeah, that's right: I saw the side of her boob. I got hard.

Fuck.

I quickly retreated to my bedroom and sunk down on my bed. Okay, so what the fuck was I supposed to do now? The Queen of the Shrew people had gotten a convert in my dick, and this was just not fucking okay with me. Did I get _no_ say in this?

Apparently not.

So I did what I had to do. But the worst part about it? When I realized I was jacking off to the thought of Bella's mouth wrapped around me.

**BPOV**

I had woken up alone, surprise fucking surprise. Edward had probably left the second I fell asleep. The _Friends_ "tuck and roll" episode flashed in my head and I shook my head sighing at the thought. I stretched and wiggled around in my bed trying to shake the thoughts of the previous night from my head. God he was frustrating.

I rolled onto my stomach, grabbing my cell phone from the nightstand and texting Angela. I couldn't deal with Edward this morning, so I asked if she could pick me up on her way. That would give me at least an extra hour or two to figure out how to tread around this thing, whatever the fuck it was.

Smith met me at the bottom of the stairs, wagging his cute little tail as I patted his head.

"Good morning Bella. Are you and Edward leaving early today?" Esme's voice echoed from further down the hall. I looked up and saw her making her way towards me, carrying a bottle of orange juice.

"Here hun, take this. You really need to start having breakfast."

I smiled in thanks and took the bottle from her. "I will, thank you," I said shaking the container.

She nodded and peered to the left and right. "Where's Edward?"

"Oh, um. I'm actually getting a ride with Angela this morning."

"Oh?" She asked looking concerned. "Is Edward feeling all right? Is he sick?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't think so..."

"Then why isn't he giving you a ride?"

Fuck. Well because Esme, he and I kind of kissed in my bed last night and I really liked it but it pretty much made him gag, so I'm trying to avoid him for as long as possible so I don't have to face him and the situation.

"Ang and I have girl talk to catch up on," I answered instead. It was _sort of_ the truth.

She smiled and patted my arm. "Wonderful dear! Please know that she is welcome here any time, no matter the day or hour."

I nodded, "thank you Mrs. Cullen."

"Esme dear, please."

Smiling, I nodded again. "Okay, thank you Esme."

"Much better! Now have a great day at school. Oh and don't forget to have either you or Edward come home during lunch to let Mr. Smith out in the yard for a few minutes."

"Okay, I won't forget. Thanks again for the juice. I'm just going to wait for Angela outside, if that's alright?"

She nodded. "That's fine dear, I'll let Edward know you've left."

Whew, one less thing I had to do. I turned around and made my way out of the house.

Today only had one mission, and one alone: avoid Edward Cullen at all costs.

**EPOV**

So I left for school without Bella, because the little shrew did the kiss-and-ditch. Not gonna lie, I felt kind if dirty. She really knew how to tear a guy up. I really thought that she and I had come to some kind of an understanding; that we were beyond all of this bullshit and that we could maybe be friends. Especially after last night; definitely after last night. Did she really dislike me that much? I wasn't even worth saying goodbye to. I hoped she would break her other ankle on the way.

About half way to school I decided that it wasn't fucking worth it. I didn't want to have to endure tortured looks from Bella, murderous glares from Rosalie, and just Em's face. I really wasn't in the mood. I spun my car around and went back home to pick up Mr. Smith.

Boy's day out for sure.

I figured that we both would need some time to figure shit out. My boy was new to this world, and I'd have to tell him all about his mother's mood swings. Since she had them so frequently. He was right at the door when I got there, and I have to admit that his little face looking up at me was enough to melt my heart. He was worth it. Even having to share him with Bella was worth it. I scooped him up and buried my nose in his soft fur as I carried him to the car. Then it happened: He licked me. Guess he liked me well enough. I laughed at him as we rode through town toward the park. He had his front paws up on the window as he looked out at everything, tail wagging so hard I thought he would take flight at any moment. He got excited when we pulled in, and he saw all of the duck surrounding the river bank. and he started barking at me hopefully.

"Yeah, Smith. You wanna go play with the ducks?"

He barked and started running in circles around the seat. I couldn't help but laugh, "Okay, then. C'mon."

I picked him up and brought him over to the grass, and once I put him down he was off like a shot. Each bird he went after would take off squawking, but it didn't deter him. He just kept on going, and having a grand old time of it. I plopped down on the grass to watch my boy as he ran around the field, completely oblivious to the fact that I was in a state of mental anguish. Suddenly, he stopped and turned toward me. He was watching me watching him, and then in a flash he was bounding toward me, until he launched himself into my chest. I laughed and let him push me over, and he situated himself on my chest I sighed and looked down at him, running my fingers through his fur. Bella would have liked this; she always used to like coming down here when we were younger.

"Hey, Smith? Just do that you know, even though your mother hates me, I love you. And I know she does, too. And even though most of the time she's a rediculous shrew, deep down I think she possesses the capability to be nice. She wouldn't have friends if she didn't." He cocked his head to the side, and crawled up my chest a bit more. "And I know, I don't hate her, but she's just so damn difficult. If she would just _let _me help her, and just took it for what it was, I think that our lives would be that much easier, don't you? I mean, if she would just let us be friendly? And kissing, Smith? Kissing doesn't change a goddamn thing. Fuck, I kiss Alice," Smith whimpered, "Okay, well, maybe not like that, but I've given her a peck, and she's still my friend. Why does Bella have to be different? Why can't she just... be?"

Smith whimpered at me again, and I gave him a quick hug. He really knew how to make me feel better. A man of few words; I knew he was my boy. After a little while longer I felt him tap his little paw on my chest and I looked down at him, "You ready? You wanna go see your mama?" He barked and jumped off of me, sauntering over to the car. I could only laugh after him. Maybe he was a mama's boy, after all.

**BPOV**

I had initially wanted to tell Angela about the kiss last night. Out of all our friends, I knew I could trust her the most not to say anything if I asked her not to. However, I wasn't too confident it was something she would keep from Ben and after hearing about his outburst from Alice at lunch, I wasn't too sure he could be trusted to not spin it into something it wasn't.

Fact: Edward and I are _not_ together. Also, fact: that kiss was quite possibly the most amazing feeling I've had to date. Maybe Mike would kiss like that; it would definitely make up for his awkwardness.

I must have unearthed superior stealth skills I didn't know I possessed, since I managed to avoid running into Edward the entire first half of the day. Rather than take my chances, I decided to ditch the rest of the afternoon and play with Smith. Finding a ride home at lunch was a lot easier than I thought. The minute that 'puppy' was uttered, Emmett was all over that shit.

"Hell fuck yes I'll give you a ride! I LOVE dogs!" He said excitedly, jumping up from his seat in the cafeteria.

"Em, I just need a ride..."

He pouted and crossed his arms. "No ride unless I get to wrestle the puppy," he said looking offended.

"Em, he's a _puppy_. If you wrestle him I won't have a dog after it's over."

He sighed, exasperatedly and rolled his eyes. "Bells I didn't mean _literally_ wrestle. Fucking-a; I meant play with, chase around the yard... fetch... you know, shit you do with a dog."

"Fine, fine, let's just get out of here."

"Sure thing jellybean, lead the way," he replied motioning towards the double doors.

"MR. SMITH!!!" I yelled as we walked into the house. Nothing. Odd, maybe he just wasn't used to my voice yet.

"Would you mind checking upstairs? I'm going to see if Esme let him hang out in the back."

"Sure Bells. I'll be right back, hopefully pup in hand."

"Thanks," I said walking over to the sliding door and stepping into the backyard looking around. My heart was starting to beat erratically, as I realized Smith wasn't outside. Hopefully Em had him. I limped back inside, to see Emmett standing in the hall, puppy-less.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" I shouted. "Where _is_ he?!"

"Bells, if it makes you feel better Edward's gone. Maybe he beat us home and took the dog out?"

FUCK. EDWARD HAD SMITH.

My face fell immediately as I put 2 and 2 together. Of course, he _knew_ how much I loved the puppy. He was angry that I'd kissed him... he'd, no... fuck. HE DID.

"EMMETT EDWARD TOOK THE PUPPY BACK!" I screamed, covering my mouth with one hand.

Emmett stared at me wide-eyed and was beside me in a nanosecond. "What? No... Edward may be a prick sometimes, but he wouldn't do that."

I nodded vigorously, not trusting my voice.

"Okay Bells, think logically. _Why_ would he do that?"

I shook my head. No, Emmett was just about the last person that I could tell about last night. "He just would. I... I embarrassed him last night. He's really angry. He..." I couldn't hold it back anymore and I started crying. The tears flowed freely down my cheeks as my body shook from crying so hard.

He took my dog. He took _our_ dog. Just so he wouldn't have to deal with _me_ anymore.

Emmett pulled me tightly to him and I cried into his chest. "Come on Bells," he cooed. "It'll be okay. I'm sure everything's okay. I'll get your dog back if he took it - even though I don't know what he looks like..."

I chuckled a little, choking on the tears and coughing into his shirt. Nice Bella, way to not be gross. He ran his hand over my head, smoothing out my hair. "Seriously Bel, everything will be fine. I'll kick his ass, then get your puppy and the two of you will be chillin in your room before Mr. & Mrs. Cullen come home from work.

I sighed and nodded into his chest, swallowing hard. I really hoped he could pull through, but I didn't know if he would be able to. About the only thing I knew was I hated Edward.

**EPOV**

I turned into my drive way and released a stream of profanities when I saw Em's jeep in my drive way. I really, really didn't want to talk to him. Smith barked and hopped over me, barelling toward the door. But when I opened it, I really wasn't prepared for what I saw. Bella crying. On Emmett. Fuck, she really didn't want to lean on me for anything, did she? She was having a bad fucking day, and she couldn't be bothered to let me know. I was really starting to feel like a doormat. Smith walked slowly over to her and put his paws on her leg. She gasped when she looked down and saw him, quickly picking him up and cuddling him. Then she looked up at me and her eyes went hard.

"You're such an ass, Edward." Then she tried to hobble up the stairs, but then she remembered she was a fucking cripple, so she just locked herself in the family room. And left me exactly where I was standing. With only Emmett for company. Thanks, Bella. So fucking thoughtful of you. I sighed and looked up at Emmett, who was smiling at me sheepishly.

"What happened, Em?"

"Fuck, Cullen, you aren't even gonna apologize?"

"For what? You're fine."

"Well, it's polite."

I snorted, "Em, polite is telling me that YOU are responsible for the single most embarrassing moment in my childhood."

"I thought you knew!"

"Clearly not."

"Ugh." He whined, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Well, then I'm sorry. I didn't realize that it was such an emotional scar for you."

I laughed and ran a hand through my hair. "Well, whatever you know? It's done."

"So we're cool?"

"Yeah, we're cool. What's up with Bella?" I kind of didn't want to know, but I knew I'd get shit for not finding out.

"Oh, well, she thought that you were giving away the puppy or something. She was seriously freaked."

God, Bella, unlike you I'm not an complete shit. I can't believe that she'd think that I was going to give Mr. Smith away. Just the thought of it made my chest ache.

"Oh. Well, no obviously not. Hey, listen maybe you give us a sec? I'll go talk to her."

I watched Em start to pout, "But I wanted to play with the puppy."

"Tomorrow, okay? He's all yours."

"God, fine. But I better get AT LEAST two hours."

"Em, if you go right this second you can have three."

He was out the door in a flash.

I laughed after him, and started off in search of Bella. She didn't get far; she was only on the couch, her back to me.

"Bella?" I called, but I got no response.

"Bella, C'mon. Talk to me." She just kept on ignoring me. "Fine, just listen then. You need to trust me a little bit more, okay? I wouldn't ever take Smith away from you _ever._ And I really can't believe that you'd think that little of me. I mean, fuck Bella, haven't we been through enough? Either you have to lighten up, or just tell me to fuck off because I can't keep doing this hot and cold shit with you. You're either my friend, or you aren't. I'm not your butler, I'm not your bodyguard, I'm not your chef. I'm just... a friend."

I sighed and looked over at her, but she still hadn't said anything. Fuck she really was an ice queen. "Bella, are you even listening?" I walked around the couch and I felt like I'd been slapped across the face.

Asleep.

She and Smith were asleep.

Fuck.

**BPOV**

I woke up to a very awake puppy pawing at my stomach. My eyes opened and I smiled with relief. My baby was home, he was okay. Em had been right and Edward _had_ taken him out. I sat up taking in my surroundings. I was back in my room; dammit Edward had carried me again. I slid out of bed and turned to look at Mr. Smith. "You ready to go see daddy and eat some humble pie?" He just started at me, not blinking. Right.

We walked across the hall, Smith trotting behind me. I knocked on Edward's door; I needed to apologize for being a fucking spazz _again_. No answer, weird. I knocked again this time leaning my ear to his door.

"...no Bella and I aren't together Tanya. What... yes I'm sure... no I don't know why Emmett would have told you otherwise - he likes to joke around, that's probably all he was doing... mhm, okay. Well did you want me to pick you up Saturday or not? Jesus Christ for the hundredth time, no... Bella and I never dated in the past, aren't together now, and sure as hell will not be a couple any time in the future. Does that clarify the situation?"

There was a pause, and it was timed perfectly with my heart falling into the pit of my stomach.

"... okay good, I'm glad... yeah me too... I'll see you at school tomorrow... Night."

Flustered, I turned around to walk back to my room, but Smith didn't move out of the way in time and I heard Edward's door open. "Bella?"

I turned around and gave him a tight lipped smiled. "Edward, hey..."

"Did you need something?"

"Oh, um, no?" Fuck way to be smooth, Bells.

He raised an eyebrow. "You sure? I thought I heard you knock."

"Oh, right... well yeah, I was. I mean, I was just going to apologize for earlier. You know, being _typical crazy Bella_ and all that." I said bobbing my head from side to side. God this was getting worse by the second.

He laughed a little and nodded. "No big deal, I'm used to it."

Well that fucker...

"Right..." I said, blushing.

"Was that it?"

I nodded. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Okay well... you hungry?"

"No, not really. I think I'm just going to go to bed."

"Really?"

"Mhm."

"Bells, it's like, not even 5," he replied. "You sure about that?"

I was going to wipe that fucking smirk off his face with my lips... I mean fist. Yes, _fist_. Definitely _fist_. "Mhm, I'm exhausted. Being worried about kidnapped puppies can tire a parent out."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Bella, I did not _kidnap_ Smith. I'm half of the parental unit, remember?"

"Right, but if I had taken him, I would have at least _told you_."

"Oh right, like you _told me_ that you were leaving for school without me this morning?"

Fuck, I knew that would bite me eventually.

"I was just following your lead in how to disappear without telling anyone. You know, like _last night_?"

His eyes went wide. "BELLA, for fuck's sake, I took out Smith to use the _bathroom_. I thought you would want to sleep some more."

"But, you didn't come back..." my voice trailed off and I didn't realize how pathetic I sounded until the words had left my mouth.

"So what?"

"So... so... SO FUCK YOU CULLEN!"

I said turning back towards my room. I turned back to the hallway when I noticed that Mr. Smith was standing in the middle of the our bedroom doors looking from Edward to me and back again. Of course, go with your father. He probably turned you against me during your little outing.

Smith turned to look at me and scampered over, running and jumping onto my bed. I didn't even bother looking at Edward, and stepped back slamming the door shut and locking it.

**EPOV**

I smirked to myself as I heard the lock click. Nice try, Swan, but you've forgotten one very important detail. I'm Edward Fucking Cullen. And this shit was so on. This was one of those moments when I was ridiculously happy that I played baseball: I had the ability to make shit happen, and sure enough, it only took one smash with my shoulder for her door to fly open. I staggered in and heard Bella gasp as she stared wide eyed at me. I narrowed my own and let my anger pour out of me.

"Let's get this straight, Isabella, because apparently at some point, I was unclear. You are not my girlfriend. I do not answer to you, and I sure as hell don't have to report back to you every fucking minute of the goddamn day. It's bullshit if you expect that, honestly. I'm just your friend. I'm here for you when and if you need me for whatever, and I swear I don't mind doing it, but you need to stop having these fucking insane mood swings and just tell me what the fuck is going on. Why the hell should I have come back to bed? Hmm? We had to go to fucking school, so I got ready like a normal human being, and as far as sneaking away goes, you take the cake sweetheart. You are constantly undermining me and avoiding me, and I'm fucking sick of it.

"Just fucking... stop, okay? And tell me now if you don't want to so this because it fucking sucks that you think so little of me after everything I've done for you. It just fucking blows." I took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Look, I'm sorry I'm being rude here, but you were way out of line. I didn't do anything wrong today, and you had no right to jump all over me like that. That's all I wanted to say."

She just blinked at me after that, her eyes wide, and her mouth opened ever so slightly. I felt this weird tug in my chest as I watched her, so I quickly tried to change the subject. "I'm going to go make us dinner. I'll be back in a few. You don't have to eat with me. I can't imagine why you would."

I turned and walked out before she could answer and headed down to the kitchen. My mother was standing at the island, flipping through a cook book. "Hi, honey. What was that commotion upstairs?"

I walked over to the fridge and surveyed the contents. "Oh, nothing. Bella's door was stuck and it just took a little force to open it. No big deal."

"Is my door broken?"

"Uh, probably."

"Sometimes, my boy, you're such a Neanderthal." I rolled my eyes, and I felt her pat my back. "What are you doing?"

"Making dinner for Bella and I. Do you have any ground beef?"

I heard her laugh behind me, "Honey, I know you're father makes quite a bit of money, but we can't keep having two dinners a night."

I shrugged when I found the beef and put it on the counter, "You can have some of ours. It's no big deal."

"Yeah," she said with a sly smile, handing me the taco box. "But you never used to cook for anyone but yourself. And now, here you are, cooking for Bella nearly every night."

I pulled out a pan and set it on the stove, "Yeah, but that's because it seems to be the only thing she'll eat. And admit it, Mom. She's been skeletal lately."

My mother sighed, "Yes, you're right. I suppose I should be thanking you. Renee would be yelling at me at the top of her lungs if she could see the way--"

I spun around and cut her off, "Ma, you're doing everything you can right now. You're the best; Bella knows that."

She shook her head, and I put my hand on her shoulder, "You're the best mom. I wouldn't be as good of a father to my boy were it not for you."

She laughed and cupped my cheek in her hand, "You're a good boy for being so kind to your old mother."

"Hey, it's not my fault you're the best. I blame the g-rents."

She rolled her eyes at me, and I turned back to the beef in the pan. At least I could make someone happy.

**BPOV**

I didn't listen to Edward. I would not eat. If that was the only way I could prove my point, whatever that was (because fuck if I knew anymore) than that's what I would do. So I curled up with Smith under the covers and went to bed - as fucking planned.

Edward could go choke on his dinner for all I fucking cared.


	14. Chapter 14

Rob eating himself is almost as hot as me eating him. Hawt.

Hehe, yeah, I thought you'd like that one. What I wouldn't do for that boy...

so hey ho.. and no I don't mean you Bel. Ummm so what the heck? we're totally busting out the chaps for this thing aren't we?

I s'pose... but watch the ho comments, k? I can think of a few people more deserving... can't you?

Well yea. Last I checked you weren't a slut, so obviously.

Well, dude, I was thinking someone who's name starts with a T and ends with an anya, but whatev. Oh, and by the way,wicked happy we don't own the rights to her; although I am kind of sad we don't own Edward :-(

Yeah, it's a darn shame. Oh the things we could do if we did...okay maybe _I'm_ the slut :P

I find that hard to believe...after all, they're both virgins in this right? But, maybe, just maybe, we could drop a lemon bomb soon?

Oh maybe... or a lime? Whatever the fuck those are. Oh and to everyone out there, just an FYI: we love reviews the way you love lemons... so the more on the tree the better! Or something.

Do they make review trees? Cause if so, I want one of those...

You and your trees... first you want an Edward Tree, now a Review Tree... I'm going to buy you part of the friggin amazon once we're done with this thing.

Hey, as long as you can guarantee that one of them makes Edward's or even robward's I'll take it. I'm not picky. But hey, we worked kind a hard on this chap. Shouldn't we let them read it?

Oh, right. SEE! I knew you were the brains of this operation...

* * *

**EPOV**

You know, I really wanted to check Bella's skin and see if it had turned green. She really was the wicked witch of the where ever the fuck wasn't she? I slaved away over that fucking stove to feed her scrawny ass, and what does she do? She falls the fuck asleep. I thought we were past that shit. I left the food next to her bed and Smith looked up at me, his head cocked to one side.

"You can stay, Smith, It's okay." I turned to walk out, but I heard his little feet padding behind me. I love my boy. I closed my door behind us and undressed before collapsing on the bed, with Smith curled up at my side. At least someone loved me.

I was just dozing off when I heard my door open, and then the familiar scraping of a cast on the floor. I didn't say anything to her; I just let it happen.

"Edward?" Bella whispered. I could feel her knees come in contact with mine, and my skin went all tingly again. She was probably giving me Ebola or some shit. Wonderful.

"Edward, please? Talk to me."

"I've said enough, Bella, don't you think?"

She collapsed beside me, and her side was pressed up against mine. As uncomfortable as I felt, I couldn't ask her to pull away. "Yeah, you did. And I'm sorry. I'm just having a rough time." She reached over and grabbed my hand, "And I really do appreciate everything you've been doing for me."

"Well, I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to."

She squeezed my hand and rolled toward me, "Yeah, I get that now. Thank you Edward."

"Whatever, Bella. Did you need something else?"

"You."

"Me what?"

She leaned in and pressed a kiss to my cheek, "That's all. Just you."

Before I knew what was happening she was straddling my waist, and kissing anywhere she could. She started at my forehead, then both of my eyelids, and then my jaw. She sucked on it a little bit while grinding her ass into my hips. But then I remembered something: This was Bella. Not some random chick who just happened to know what to do but _Bella._ I couldn't let this happen. I put my hands up to her waist, but she didn't get the hint as she moaned into my skin and kissed my chin.

"Bella... Bella... oh, fuck... seriously, you need to stop. We can't do this."

She stopped kissing me, and ran the tip of her nose across my face, then kept her eyes level to mine. "Why not?" She pushed her ass into my hard on. "You want me."

"Bella, I--" I didn't even get a chance to finish my sentence because she pressed her lips to mine and I completely forgot why this was a bad idea. And as she kept on going, moving her lips against mine I started to feel like maybe we were supposed to be doing this; maybe this was right, I just hadn't known it. Whatever, because at that moment, it all felt pretty fucking perfect.

She moaned into my mouth as I let her tongue into mine, and I felt my hands slip down her back to cup her ass. Why hadn't I noticed how perfect her ass was before? She pulled away and gave me a wicked smile as she started a trail of kisses down my throat and attached her lips to my collar bone.

"Fuck, Bella..." I couldn't think of anything as she kept on moving down my chest until she got to the band of my boxers. I sucked in a deep breath as her fingers darted under.

"Edward?" She said, planting wet, open mouth kisses on the skin just above the border, "I want you. I really want you."

"Mm, Bella..." I couldn't think of anything else.

"I can't wait for you to shove your hard cock into my wet cunt, and fuck me senseless. God, Edward, you're going to feel so fucking good inside of me. But first, I think I'll suck you off."

_Fuck yes. Do all of those things and whatever else crosses your fucking mind. Fuck me senseless, suck me dry, I don't give a flying fuck as long as you don't stop doing THAT._

Oh my fucking God, what the hell is happening? I could only whimper as she pulled down my boxers and wrapped a hand around the bas of my cock. She looked up at me through a thick fringe of dark lashes and smiled before kissing up and down the sides of my shaft. The feeling of her lips on me was indescribable, and I had to close my eyes as she moved over the head and swirled her tongue around. Fuck, I was gonna cum all over her face and she hadn't even... fuck. All of a sudden, her lips were wrapped around me, and I let out a groan. It felt incredible. If this is was head was like when you were getting it from someone who wasn't a skank, I wanted it all day, everyday. And this girl had the most perfect lips and skilled tongue in the history of the world. I kept my eyes closed and threaded my fingers in her hair as she started to bob up and down my length. I could feel my balls start to tighten and I knew I was about to cum all up in her shit, but for some reason, I couldn't pull away. Then I became aware of a small, wet tongue on my cheek. How the hell did she do that? I opened my eyes expecting to see her, but instead all I saw were my tented boxers. Fuck. Smith put a paw on my chest and I could feel his hot breath on my cheek.

Fuck.

It was a fucking dream. A god damn mother fucking dream. I groaned and said the only thing I could think.

"BELLA!"

**BPOV  
**  
My eyes opened slowly and blinked a few times as I rolled onto my side, facing the window. The day looked like it was either just starting or ending, I couldn't be sure. Disoriented by my early bedtime, I squinted focusing my eyes on the clock; ugh, it was a little before 7. Not enough time to go back to bed, but still too early to start getting ready. Maybe Edward hadn't taken Smith out yet, and I could. I quietly made my way over to his bedroom door and knocked before opening it. Smith was sitting at the foot of the bed, his head resting on his paws and eyes opened. I took a step further into the room and placed a finger up to my lips. "Shh Mr. Smith. We don't want to wake daddy." Smith of course didn't listen to me at all and jumped up excitedly, barking once. Edward shifted and murmured something I couldn't quite make out. Taking a step closer to his bed I started scratching Smith's ears, while peering over at Edward. He really wasn't bad to look at when he wasn't being a dickhead.

I knelt down onto the bed with one knee and bit my lip wondering if I should wake him or not. After yesterday's fiasco, I though communication was key, no matter how fucking stupid it was.

"Edward?" I whispered.

He let out some kind of grunt/whimper but didn't acknowledge me. I bent my face closer to his and whispered again. "Edward?"

"Mmm.. Bella."

I moved my face further back. "Edward, I'm going to take Smith out, okay?"

His eyes fluttered open and my breath hitched as his emerald eyes gazed at mine, half open. "Bella?" he asked, his voice full of sleep.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm just going to take Smith outside, I'll be right back."

His hand reached for mine and his thumb brushed over my knuckles. "Are you here this time?"

What the fuck was he talking about? "Yeah, Edward, but I'm gonna go. I just wanted to tell you that Smith and I are going to the backyard."

"Mmm... okay," he said yawning.

I grinned at him and slid my hand from underneath his. He was kind of sweet looking when he was half asleep; it was too bad he couldn't be like that all the time.

Mr. Smith and I walked out of Edward's room silently, with him in the lead. I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw Carlisle sitting at the kitchen counter, cup off coffee and paper in hand.

"Well good morning Bella," he greeted.

"Morning Dr. Cullen."

He waived his paper in the air. "None of that, it's Carlisle." Right, first name basis; that would definitely take getting used to, since mom had instilled in me to always call them Mrs. and Dr. Cullen.

I bit my lip and smiled.

"And who do we have here?" He asked bending down to see Mr. Smith sitting on his hind legs looking up at him.

"Well aren't you the cutest breathing ball of fluff that's ever been in this house?" Mr. Smith just continued to stare at him, his tongue hanging out a little.

"You two did well. The cutest baby I've ever seen."

"Well he _is_ my son," I chided.

Carlisle laughed. "That's exactly what Edward said yesterday. You two must be spending a lot of time together if you're already mimicking each others responses."

"Right, yeah... well with Mr. Smith we've had to I guess."

"Yea, that must be it..." he said, trailing off and looking at me with a Cheshire grin. Fucking smirks, that must be another fucking thing Edward got from his dad.

"Well, I better take Smith out before we have to leave for school," I said after a beat of awkward silence.

He nodded and turned to face his paper. "Oh, wait, before you go I wanted to run something by you."

I looked up from where I had knelt down to grab a tennis ball from the basket of toys that sat near the sliding door. "Hm?"

"Esme and I were thinking of taking a trip, the four - or five I suppose with Mr. Smith - somewhere warm for Thanksgiving. Does that sound okay with you?"

"Yes sir, as long as we stock up on sunscreen before we go. I'm about as pale as they make humans."

He laughed a little and nodded. "Wonderful, I'll have Esme speak with Edward about the trip later today. We were thinking Hawaii but I suppose it just depends on flight availability."

"That sounds great Dr.- I mean, Carlisle."

"Great, now you should probably run off before Mr. Smith does his business on the kitchen tile."

I puffed out a chuckle and slid the door open watching as Smith flew out the door like a bat out of hell. I hobbled after him, watching him nip at the grass and run up to the fence stare at it and turn around running in the opposite direction only to return to the fence moments later. "Silly dog," I laughed as I made my way over to the tire swing and sat back in it. Using my good foot I pushed off, swinging back and forth a little as I watched Smith tire himself out sprinting around the yard.

**EPOV**

I got up after Bella left and changed for school. I waited for her in the car because I really didn't feel like seeing her just yet. I had no idea what the fuck to do with my dream from last night, so I figured I should have as little contact with her as possible. She finally hauled ass out to the car twenty minutes later, and she even fucking smiled at me as she got in. I kept my mouth shut as I drove, not trusting myself enough to say anything. She didn't comment on my silence, and I was thankful for it. I really just didn't want to deal. I pulled into a space in the lot, then went around to help Bella out.

"Thanks," she said, giving me another smile, but her eyes gave her away. They were curious as they watched me, and I saw something else in them, but I couldn't place it. Whatever the fuck it was, it was definitely new. I had just steadied Bella when I head a pair of high heels clicking toward me. I looked up and saw Tanya, looking like sex on a stick coming toward us. She was wearing tight black pants with a low cut top and fuck me boots. I tried really, really hard to keep my mouth shut, but I was pretty sure she could see down my throat. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, and smiled at me.

"Hey, honey. How was your night?"

I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant, and let go of Bella's waist, "It was okay."

"I can't wait to come over and meet your puppy. Jones, was it?"

"Smith. Mr. Smith." Bella spat, shooting Tanya a death glare. What the fuck was up with her?

I looked between the two of them before I spoke, "Well, soon enough, okay? I'm sure he'll love you."

I heard Bella snort, but I ignored it. Tanya raised an eyebrow in her direction, then turned back to me, "Edward, can you help me? I still can't figure out how to open my locker."

I looked from her wide blue eyes then to Bella, "Sure. Let me just help Bel--"

"No, I need you now. I'll be late otherwise."

I sighed and looked back at Bella, "Will you be okay?"

She sighed at me and rolled her eyes, "Whatever, Edward." Then hobbled away. God, she's so fucking moody sometimes. Tanya smirked at me, and linked her arm through mine as we headed toward school. She started talking about the beach and her bikini again, and while I know I should've been enraptured at the thought of this walkng sex bomb half naked, I found myself looking back to check on Bella. She was being supported by Jasper, who had taken up my post and I couldn't help but frown at them. That was my job. He caught my eye and shrugged a little, and I saw Bella shoot a glance up at him, but before I could mouth an apology to her, I felt Tanya's hand on my face, yanking it toward her.

"Are you listening to me?"

"Uh, yeah, I was. I just thought I saw... a bird."

She rolled her eyes at me and began again, but I tuned her out. For some reason, I just couldn't wrap my brain around this girl. It was as though all she wanted to talk about was sex, nudity, and the beach. And as great as that might sound, I couldn't find myself being happy at the prospect of doing it with her. She started to turn into our bio room, when I stopped.

"I thought you needed help with your locker."

She tapped my arm playfully and smiled, "No, silly. I just needed to get you away from the human lawn gnome."

Okay. What? "Um, I know you aren't talking about Bella."

She raised an eyebrow, "Oh, really?"

Oh, no. No fucking way. "Listen, I don't know how many times I have to tell you, but she's in my life whether you like it or not, and she's not going anywhere. If you have a problem with that then that's your issue."

"Oh, please Edward! Anyone can see how much you two want each other. And I know I'm new here but do you honestly expect me to believe that you two never had a thing?"

I scoffed and ran a hand through my hair. "Yeah, I do. Like I said, she's in my life because she's been through some tough shit. If you aren't cool with that, then you sort that shit out. It's all on you."

She grunted and then looked back at me, "Well, fine. But you know you'd rather fuck me than that sad sack of shit."

My eyes widened and I was ready to go in for the kill when I heard a little whimper from behind me. Fuck. Please, please let it be Alice.

I turned around and my heart fucking sank when I saw Bella, one arm stretched out to the lockers and the other hanging loose at her side. I could see her eyes filling with tears and I felt absolutely horrible about it. She'd definitely cried enough for one lifetime.

I heard Tanya laugh, but I kept my eyes trained on Bella, "I'll see you in there, love." Tanya said, swatting my ass on the way in.

"Bella..."

She shook her head at me and started to hobble past me and into the room, leaving me alone in the hall way, completely speechless. I didn't know what to do next. I knew I should apologize for what Tanya said, but fuck. How the hell was I supposed to handle this situation? I mean, this girl who I guess I was dating had the complete wrong impression about Bella and I. Whether she liked it or not Bella was here to stay. I couldn't get rid of her. Who would be Smith's mother? Tanya? I snorted at that thought. Not fucking likely. So I supposed that all of this was something that Tanya would eventually get over once she started hanging around with Bella and I a bit more, and then she could see that there really wasn't anything between us. To me, that seemed to be the only way. I still felt like shit for what she said, though. It was a low blow.

And who's to say I particularly wanted to fuck Tanya anyway?

Don't get me wrong, the girl was hot and she knew how to put herself together, but at this point I was confused about whether or not I was being disloyal to Bella or not. Whoa. Fuck. Hang on. _Disloyal to Bella?_ Since when did I have to be loyal to Bella? What the hell?

My life was so fucked up at this point that I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. If only I could get Bella to just tell me what to do and how to act around her... that would be a huge fucking weight off of my shoulders. But I knew she wouldn't; that would make my life too easy.

The bell rang and I sighed, heading into class. It was going to be a long fucking day.

**BPOV**

"So did you know what movie you wanted to see tonight?" Mike whispered to me as we sat in bio pretending to care about the lecture.

Oh, right the date. "Um... no, doesn't matter. It's been awhile since I've been to the movies, so I'm down with whatever."

"Great. And you still want me to pick you up at 7 right?"

I turned my head back to glance at Fuckward and his hoe. I shook my head, looking back at Mike. "Actually, how about we leave right after school? We could um... do movie first then dinner or something?"

Mike beamed at me as if I'd told him Santa really existed and he was permanently on his "nice" list. "Yeah, okay that sounds awesome. I'll meet you at your locker after last period?"

I twisted my face into a half smile, "yeah sure."

"BELLAOMIGODHOWYOUCOULDNOTTELLME!" Alice screeched as she sat down next to meet at our lunch table.

"Um, what?" I asked after swallowing the bite of my sandwich.

"You didn't tell me that you and Mike bumped up your date, duh!"

"Oh, yeah..." I took sip of my soda. "No big deal, it's just easier and less of a hassle if we leave straight from school."

"NO! NO! NO!" She said, pouting slamming one of her tiny fists on the table. "This was supposed to be a Bella-Barbie day dammit!"

I laughed, "okay well I promise the next date we have, you can doll me up all you want - within reason, okay?"

Her facial expression changed immediately and she smiled a big, wide grin. "You are already planning a second date?"

Shrugging, I turned to glance at Emmett and Edward who had just arrived. "Yea, I guess. I mean there's nothing else to do. Plus he still needs to meet my dog."

"_Our_ dog," Edward corrected. "Whomever you're talking about still has to meet _our_ dog."

"Mike," Alice pipped in. "She's talking about what her and Mike are gonna do on their second date."

He raised an eyebrow chewing slowly on the chip he had bitten into. "What happened to the first one?"

"Bella bumped it up to right after school!"

He looked over at Emmett then back to me. "Yeah, I wouldn't trust Newton after dark either; smart move Bella."

What the hell? Mike may be a lot of things but dangerous was not one of them. "Who says we'll be back before dark?"

"Right, like you could stand being with him for that long."

"He's easier to be around than you are. At least he doesn't hook up with bitches."

"Really?" He asked looking at me pointedly.

Ugh, why did I let him get under my skin so much. "Whatever Edward."

"HEY! What about the puppy time I was promised?" Emmett whined, breaking the tension in the air.

I laughed a little. "Well Edward will be home, right?"

Edward shrugged. "Yeah, come on by. It'll be the perfect time to bring Tanya over too."

Dagger right to the fucking heart. That fucking bitch was not going _anywhere_ near our dog without me being there.

"Actually man, that may not be a great idea. I'll be with Rosie and no offense but she's not Tanya's biggest fan. Something about Tanya being a shedevil. Honestly, I think she's just miffed that some of the male attention has strayed over to your ladyfriend."

"So ditch Rose."

"Hell no man. It's Friday fucking night - and I mean that literally. Sorry but booty before bros on Fridays man."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Whatever, then stop by this weekend. I'm sure Bella will be recovering at home all day from the dull night with Mike."

"That's even if I _come home_ Cullen."

His eyes shot from Emmett to mine. "Right, The Virgin Belladonna is going to give it up to Mike-Nancyboy-Newton on the first date."

"Maybe."

His jaw clenched and he shook his head. "Right, and I'm Mary fucking Poppins."

"I hope you can pronounce expialadocious," I snapped back standing from the table. "It's been real guys; it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun. Em, I'll see you tomorrow. Al," I began turning to face her. "Meet me before last period?"

She smiled and nodded. "Definitely - a predate makeover needs to be performed."

I shook my head and sighed. "Right, well. Nothing too crazy; we'll only have like 5 minutes."

"Psh, 5 minutes may as well be an hour. I'll be prepared."

"Right," I said matter-of-factly turning on my heels and walking out to find Rosalie.

I turned the hall towards her locker to find that she had Ms. Trailer Trash herself pinned against one of the classroom doors.

"Don't you EVER talk about Bella like that again! Do you fucking hear me?"

Unlike any other girl in this school, Tanya didn't looked scared. She looked almost... smug.

"What the fuck ever Hale. I don't get why everyone is so quick to defend her; she's just a mousy, frail little brat. I have no idea why I was so worried about her and Edward. He would never stoop that low to fuck someone that pitiful anyway."

I walked closer to them. "Rose!" I shouted as I saw her fist swing forward, clocking Tanya right in the face, once then twice in rapid succession.

"DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT BELLA LIKE THAT AGAIN YOU FUCKING PIECE OF ORANGE GLOWING GARBAGE!"

Tanya sank to the floor, holding her nose as blood seeped through her fingers. Ew. I ran up to Rosalie. "ROSALIE, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

She turned to face me dusting her hands off. "What?" she asked innocently. Right, like I didn't just see her use her tae-bo moves on Tanya's face. I grabbed her arm yanking her down the hall from where Tanya was slowly getting up and walking in the opposite direction to the bathrooms.

"YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO THAT ROSE!"

"Again, do what? I don't know what your talking about..." she replied, grinning mischeivously.

"THAT!" I said pointing towards where her and Tanya had been arguing. "You can't go around punching people when they insult me!"

"And why the hell not? You should have heard what she was saying... what she spread around school about you. The bitch fucking deserved that plus a lot more. You should be proud I showed fucking restraint."

"ROSALIE LISTEN TO YOURSELF!" I said flailing my arms around.

"What, I think that's a perfectly legit reason to kick her ass."

"You would, but - and listen carefully - THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY TO DO!"

"Bella," she began, "calm down. I get it; you're frazzled that I just punched her in front of you. I completely understand. But listen, it had to be done," she said soothingly as if it were perfectly rational to go around punching people.

"I DON'T CARE THAT YOU PUNCHED HER. I CARE THAT YOU PUNCHED HER WITHOUT MERIT!"

"She was talking shit; there's your merit."

"NO!" I shouted. "NOW I MAY NOT LIKE THAT BITCH, AND I MAY NOT LIKE THAT WHOREBAG FOR GOING AFTER EDWARD LIKE SHE'S A FUCKING SHARK AND HE'S A SEA LION, BUT THAT'S HOW IT FUCKING IS AND YOU NEED TO STEP THE FUCK OFF AND NOT INTERFERE."

"Bella you're not listen- wait, what? You don't like her because she's going after Edward? Not because she's a total bitch to you?" She asked quirking an eyebrow.

"UGH! THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"

"Yeah, I think that's _exactly_ the point Bella. Since when do you have a thing for Edward Cullen?"

"I DO NOT HAVE A THING FOR EDWARD! ESPECIALLY AFTER SEEING THE TYPE OF DISEASE INFECTED TRASH HE GETS WITH! MY POINT IS THAT YOU NEED TO NOT PUNCH EVERY GIRL THAT INSULTS MY CHARACTER ROSE!"

"Or boy," she added.

"What?"

"Remeber 6th grade, Tyler said you smelled - which is fucking ironic by the way - but yea... He got knocked around a bit too."

I threw up my hands. "SEE! THAT'S EXACTLY MY POINT!"

"Bella, I just... I want to protect you."

I sighed. "I appreciate that, really. But you can't fucking DO THIS Rose."

She folded her arms across her chest. "Oh really?"

"YES!" My voice went an octive higher. "ROSALIE, JUST LEAVE TANYA ALONE. SHE MAY BE A TERRIBLE PERSON TO ME BUT SHE TREATS EDWARD WELL AND MAYBE HE NEEDS SOMEONE LIKE YOU HAVE EMMETT! AND MAYBE TANYA CAN BE THAT FOR HIM!"

"Highly fucking unlikely," she scoffed.

"Well that's not _your_ call to make. Just leave her and everyone else the fuck alone. I can take care of myself," I said spinning around and storming into the stairwell.

Fuck.

**EPOV**

I left after english, but was stopped abruptly by Tanya, leaning up against the volvo, clutching her nose in her hand.

"Hey, what happened?" I said, as I walked up to her. She pulled back her hand and I raised my eyebrows. She looked like Marcia Brady. Post football. "Ouch."

"Yeah, you're telling me." She reached up again, and I could see her starting to cry a little. I took the last few steps over to her, and pulled her into me. She wrapped her arms around me and started to cry into my shoulder, so I rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head. Something was off, though; it didn't feel the same as when I held Bella and I wasn't completely sure why. It just didn't feel as comfortable.

"Honey, what happened?" I asked, trying to sound as comforting as I could.

"That stupid skank Rosalie hit me." I tired to choke back my laughter, but I didn't know whether or not to kiss Rose or buy her flowers. After what Tanya said about Bella this morning, I wasn't her biggest fan.

"Oh? What happened?"

"Nothing. We were just discussing some of the... more unsavory people here, and apparently, I hit a nerve."

I tensed up around her, "What did you say about Bella?"

"Nothing that wasn't true."

I pulled away, and took her shoulders in my hands, "Tanya, what did you say?"

I looked down at the ground and shuffled her feet. "The truth Edward! What the fuck does it matter? And why are you so quick to assume it was my fault?"

"Because Rose wouldn't hit anyone unless it was for Bella's benefit, and if you said even half of the shit about her that you did to me, you're luck you aren't dead."

She straightened up and looked me in the eye, "Edward, I don't want you to see them anymore."

Surely I'd heard her wrong, "What do you mean."

"All of them: Rosealie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and especially Bella. If you want to keep me, then you'll have to get rid of them."

I released her shoulders, and pinched the bridge of my nose, "First of all, with the exception of Rosalie, they've all been my friends since before I can remember and there's no way I would ever ditch them for a girl. Any girl. Wouldn't happen. And would you please lay the fuck off of Bella? I can't do a fucking thing about her. She lives in my house and we share a set of parents and a puppy. She's in my life, and frankly if you can't deal with that than maybe we shouldn't be doing this."

Her eyes went wide with the end of my little speech, and she burst into a fresh round of tears, "I-I didn't k-k-k-k-knowwww. I j-just th-thought that y-you l-liked me."

I sighed and pulled her back into me, "I do like you, but I will not give up everything in my life for a girl. It's unrealistic to expect that."

"Are you sure?" She said sniffling. God, she was fucking dense.

"Yeah, I am. So you can take it or leave it."

She leaned up and kissed the bottom of my jaw, "I'll take it."

I bent down and brushed my lips across hers, but when she pressed herself more forcefully against me, I started to feel dirty again. It wasn't right. There was too much pressure and her tongue kept poking at my lips, but I kept them closed. I was only trying to make her feel better; I didn't want her tongue to assault me. I pulled away, and fought the urge to wipe my mouth.

"So I'll see you this weekend, right?"

"Sounds good, love." she said, pulling out of my arms and then waving at me over her shoulder as she walked over to her car. I watched her get in an pull away before I wiped off the kiss, and I felt completely disgusted with myself. I didn't like this girl the way that she thought I did, so what the fuck was I doing? I sighed as I heard the bell ring and got into the volvo as people started filing out. Soon enough, I saw Bella, on Newton's arm. He still hadn't learned jack shit about supporting her weight because yet again, he was supporting her forearm only and she was stumbling along. Oh, and the best part? They got to his car and he didn't even open the fucking door for her. I watched as she looked from the door to her cast and then back again. I thought about getting out to help her, but that would be inappropriate, right? Certainly, Newton could help his date into the car. But no, he didn't. He just watched her from inside the giant car, probably wondering what was taking her so long. Un fucking believable. Then I saw Bella look toward the volvo and pull her bottom lip into her mouth. She just looked so... flat; like she was radiating flatness, if that makes sense, which it probably doesn't. But soon enough she pulled her eyes away, and hoisted/fell into Newton's car and I lost sight of her. As he drove away, I could feel my chest tighten again and I seriously considered going to the hospital, it hurt that fucking bad. I rubbed over it a few times before flipping over the ignition and pulling out of the lot to get to my boy.

He'd be waiting for me.

**BPOV**

The movie was fucking dumb. He let me pick, so I chose something in the middle of the road - an action. I figured I'd be entertained and he'd love to see everything get destroyed. What I _wasn't_ expecting was having to pry his clammy hands off me for two fucking hours. First it was my shoulder, then my leg, then he tried to fucking feel me up. Really, I mean _really_? If you get rejection from the leg, why the _fuck_ would you go for the boob? It made no fucking sense. After that _interesting_ experience I decided that Edward had been right.

There was no way I'd survive doing this for another two hours.

"So where do you want to go to dinner?" He asked pulling out of the parking lot, after once again not helping me into the fucking car. Maybe all guys were like this and Edward just spoiled me. Yes, fuck _Edward_ for being nice and helping me in and out of cars. I sounded like Mike with that rational. Ugh.

"So?"

I looked up from my lap. "Oh, right. Actually I'm not really hungry. Plus my leg is feeling kind of stiff; I should probably just go home."

"You sure? We could walk around instead? That might help your leg."

I gave him my best sad-face-smile and shook my head. "I really think I should just go home, I'm sorry."

His face fell a little and he hopped on the highway heading to the Cullens. "No, problem; maybe another time then." I didn't respond.

We pulled up to the house and he parked the car, dashing around to open my door, perhaps in a last ditch effort to score a point. I almost rolled my eyes just at the thought. He walked me up to the door and looked at me, biting his lip.

"So, I had a really great time tonight. Thanks for letting me take you out."

I smiled. "Yeah, no, it was fun. Thanks for being so flexible with the time."

He shrugged, "No problem, I'm glad I got to spend time with you sooner." Aw, that was kind of sweet.

"So..." I said.

"So..." he echoed leaning in a little. Ugh, fuck he was going to go for it. I closed my eyes and felt as his lips pressed against mine. His lips were frantic against my own, not giving me a second to adjust before his tongue began to try and pry my mouth open. Really, I mean fucking _really_? I sighed and pictured it was Edward. He wouldn't rush like this; he hadn't rushed this. I imagined that it was his lips on mine instead and I pressed against them harder. His arms wrapped around me and his sweaty hands slid around to my lower back and under my sweater. I felt his tongue ram further down my throat and I started coughing, opening my eyes and pushing him off me.

"Wow Bells, that was..." he said as if in a trance.

"Yeah, right..." I said, trailing off. Fuck I should definitely not be thinking of Edward when I kiss people. Shit.

He tried to lean in again but I put a hand on his chest. "I'll see you Monday, yea?"

He took a step back and smiled a little. "Oh, right, yeah...definitely," he answered stepping backwards towards his car. I smiled and waved. "Night Mike."

"Night Bella!" He shouted from the side of his car.

I opened the door and banged my head against the door. "FUCK!"

**EPOV**

I was in the backyard watching Smith when I heard a car in the driveway. My boy looked toward me with a glint in his eye, and I narrowed my own back at him. "Don't you dare." I said, trying to sound as authoritative as possible. It worked because he turned tail and walked back to the middle of the yard, waiting for his next victim. I wondered if Bella would come out here. Probably not, considering today. She would probably try and hobble up the stairs, and end up tiring herself out and collapse from exhaustion, and I'd have to carry her up anyway. I wish she'd just let me do it. It would make both our lives that much easier. I heard the slider open behind me, and then saw Bella sit down next to me. I looked over at her, and I couldn't help but notice how tired she looked.

"Hey."

She turned to look at me, and furrowed her brow, "Hi."

"What's up?"

"Nothing, you?"

"Nothing."

She nodded and turned back to the yard, where Smith was digging up a pile of dirt. "Oh, I hope he doesn't get to dirty or we'll have to give him a bath."

I shrugged as she turned to me, "I'll do it; it's not a problem."

"Well, I'd like to help you because he's my son, too."

I smiled and looked at her, "That'd be good. I'm sure he'd like it."

We sat there for a while longer and watched our boy get into trouble left and right. Then I finally worked up my courage and asked her.

"So how was the date?"

She huffed and looked at me, "C'mon Edward. Let me have it. I know you want to give me shit for it."

I cocked my head to the side, "No, I was just wondering. Do you really think that I would make fun of you?"

"You did at lunch."

"Because that's what we do, Bella. We take turns dumping on Newton. And, C'mon. No one was ever expecting you to say yes to the kid. What the fuck was that?"

"Well, I never expected you to say yes to that cunt rag, but you did."

I sighed and tugged at my hair. It was now or never. "Listen, I'm sorry about what Tanya said about you today. All of it. I talked to her about it, and she said she'd stop."

"Yeah, sure she did."

"Bella, come on. I'm trying here, okay?"

She sighed and leaned back on her elbows. "Fine."

I shook my head at her, and turned back to the yard. It was fucking hopeless. She just didn't want to meet me half way, and I sure as hell couldn't make her.

"I kissed Tanya today." I blurted out. Fuck, where the hell did that come from? Apparently that was _not _meeting Bella half way.

She turned to look at me, and I could see some foreign emotion in her eyes, "I kissed Newton."

I felt a stab in my heart and I seriously thought I was going to cry. "Why did you tell me?"

"Why did you tell me?"

"I don't know."

"Me either."

We stared at each other for a moment longer before she spoke again, "Did you like it?"

"Not as much as--" I cut myself off.

"Not as much as what?"

I sighed and tugged at my hair. "Not as much as kissing you."

"Me either," She whispered.

My eyes shot up to hers and she was looking back at me, the tension electric in the air. "Do you mean that?"

She nodded slowly.

I weighed my options because I knew I had two choices: I could man up or walk away. Guess which one I chose?

I leaned over to her slowly, and pressed my lips against hers softly at first, getting a feel for her, then a little more forcefully. Her mouth moved perfectly with mine, and soon enough I felt her tongue swipe across my lips. It was better than the first time, and definitely better than Tanya. The whole feeling of it was completely different, and it felt like we were two pieces of a puzzle, fitting together perfectly. Soon enough, I had to pull away to breath, but I kept my eyes closed and rested my forehead against hers. I started thinking about what this meant, and what we'd have to do from here. But what if she didn't want to do this? What if I'd jumped the gun? She'd only said that kissing Mike wasn't as good as kissing me, and then I had to haul off and molest her face.

"So that's how it's done." She murmured sarcastically. Fuck.

I pulled back quickly, and I felt her fall forward a little so I reached out to steady her.

"Have you eaten?" I asked.

"No."

"I'll go make us something. Carlisle and Esme are going to dinner in Seattle any way."

"Ooh, okay."

I stood up and got myself quickly through the door. What the fuck was I doing?

**BPOV**

Holy shit. Edward had left to cook dinner minutes ago, but my heart was still beating out of my chest and the butterflies were wide awake in my stomach. Holy mother fucking shit.

I sat up and hobbled through the sliding door, leaving it partially open for Smith to come through when he was done outside. Edward's back was to me and his attention was focused on a sauce pan on the stove. "Edward?" I asked meekly. Fuck, how do you ask someone if you can kiss them until neither of you can breathe, when both of you are dating different people?

His head turned and he looked at me with a small smile. "Hey, um dinner's no where near done. Did you want a snack in the meantime?"

I shook my head and limped around the counter. "Hey, um, can you turn the stove off for a minute? I kinda want to talk to you for a sec."

He scratched his head, which I'm pretty sure wasn't sanitary when cooking but whatever. "Um, well the sauce is going to take awhile, it has to simmer for at least half an hour."

"Oh... okay. Well then never mind, I.. um..." Fuck.

"What I mean is, as long as you don't mind us ordering pizza instead I'll gladly turn it off."

I let out a deep breath I didn't know I'd been holding and nodded. "Pizza's good."

He shut off the stove and turned to face me, his hands rubbing down his thighs. I bit my lip and look up at him. "So what's up?"

How could he be so fucking casual? Couldn't he fucking _see_ how fucking... fucked I was over him, whatever that meant. All I knew what he was fucking with everything I thought, especially about _him_.

"Hm? You okay Bella?" He asked when I still hadn't said anything.

"Oh, yeah um..." I swallowed hard. "I was just..." shit. shit. and shit again. How to ask? Fuck. I bit my lip and took a step closer to him, placing a hand on the side of his face and pulling it down to mine, closing my eyes and pressing my lips against his decidedly.

At first I thought he was going to pull away, that I had completely misread what had happened in the backyard. But after a moment I felt his lips move against mine and his arms surrounded my waist, pulling me closer to him. My hand moved from his jaw around to his hair, threading my fingers through his bronze locks while my free arm wrapped around his torso. He took my bottom lip between his and nibbled slowly. A soft gasp escaped my mouth and he took it as an invitation to slide his tongue inside.

I'm pretty sure I died right there.

The feel of his tongue against my own was beyond words. There was literally no word that could even begin to describe how good his tongue, hell every part of _him_ felt against me right now. He pulled away slowly just as he had outside, but this time I didn't make any stupid afterthought comment and I opened my eyes slowly, noticing that both of us were panting. I smiled shyly as he gave me a look I'd never seen before. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth as I felt the blush creep and spread across my cheeks. His face fell and that look in his eyes faded. No, that would not do. I didn't know what had changed in the millisecond we'd been looking at each other but that borderline pout wouldn't do at all. I closed my eyes and threw balls to the wind, pressing my lips to his again.

If I was going to go down in complete humiliation, the least I could do was enjoy every fucking moment of it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey bel, can we wrap this a/n up quick like? I'm itching to move on and start more drama...**

**I mean fluff...**

**I mean angst..**

**crap.**

**Kella, Kella, Kella... it just fucking started, you gotta give it a chance to get rolling. I haven't even done a one-liner yet**

**well hop on that shit then. damn gina, how much longer are you going to hold out the awesomness?**

**I dunno, Kel... how long are you going to keep denying your James Dean-esque amazingness?**

**Um, yeah no. ANYWAY.... so like, despite how much Bel and I have tried we still don't own these characters. SMeyer does forever and ever and ever... and ever.**

**You know what though? Edward wishes he belonged to us... we let him do more fun shit than she did**

**  
Too true. So the reviews? Don't you love 'em? And want more?**

**I do, I do, I do... If only I could say that to Edward...**

**Duh Bellerz.**

**

* * *

  
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**EPOV**

She was kissing me. Hard. And I had no idea why, but it wasn't going to fucking stop me. It felt right, kissing Bella in the kitchen, on the deck, in her bed, in my bed... anywhere. It felt like kissing Bella _anywhere_ would be fucking perfect. She pulled away again and I let my forehead rest against hers as we stood in the kitchen.

"You aren't gonna tell me this was a joke, right?" She laughed, and I felt her fingers drag softly across my cheeks.

"As long as you say you aren't fucking with me."

"I'm not."

"Good," I said, and kissed her again. Better than the last time, and definitely better than the time before that. I really could just fucking do this all day. Kissing Bella was like.... it was like I just knew that this was right, and good and true and I didn't need anything (or anyone else). But it was probably too much to hope that she felt that way. She pulled away first this time, and I watched her suck her bottom lip into her mouth. Fuck.

"Edward?"

"Hm?"

"What about Tanya?"

I laughed, "Fuck Tanya." I leaned back in for her lips, but she pulled back.

"Maybe that's not such a good idea?"

I raised my eyebrows, "Why not?"

"Because... we go from at each other's throats to making out? Edward, people don't do that."

"But we're not people; we're Edward and Bella."

"Doesn't matter."

"Bella, I feel... something for you. I don't know what the fuck it is, but it's not hate, it's not dislike and it's sure as fuck not indifference."

"So?"

"So if Tanya fell off a fucking cliff tomorrow, I wouldn't give two shits. But if it was you? Bella, if it was you... I don't know what I'd do."

"Why not?"

I rolled my eyes and pulled her back into me, "Because this is right, Bella. Why can't we just... see how this goes?"

She sighed into my skin, and if felt like an eternity as I counted her breaths. There were 213. "I just... I don't want to rush... whatever this is. I don't want to... fuck."

I sucked in a breath and did what I had to do. If I wanted this, I'd have to do what I had to do. "Bella, it's fine. We'll take it as slow as you want."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah. Just tell me what to do, and I'll do it."

She thought for a moment, "Well, what if we're just not... exclusive? We go on with our lives, and pretend on the outside, that nothing's changed. That way... that way people can get used to the idea of us."

I sighed and put my chin on top of her head. "If that's what you want."

"Th-that's what I want."

We stayed like that for a little while longer, and I finally let her go when Smith came prancing through the back door, barking at me for dinner.

"Fuck, we have to feed him. Did you want to order the pizza? Menu's by the phone." I let her go and got Smith's food out, not daring to look over at Bella. I couldn't believe what she was expecting to do. I was supposed to got to school and act like nothing had happened between us? That we still hated each other, and... all that other shit we did? Honestly, I didn't know that I could. Kissing Bella had made me realize that she was the something that I needed; she was what was missing from my life.

I just hated that I wasn't missing from her's.

**BPOV**

Dinner was fairly uneventful. We ordered pizza and ate more or less in silence at the kitchen counter.

"Movie?" Edward asked, as he rinsed off his dish in the sink.

"Sure."

We walked over to the living room and plopped down on the couch, with Smith at our heels. We both sat there like stone sculptures. It wasn't that the situation was uncomfortable, okay maybe _a little_ but it was more that I didn't know what to do. I knew what I _wanted_ to do, but I wasn't sure I should. I pulled my lip between my teeth as he channel surfed and settled on a black and white movie.

"This okay with you?" He asked, turning his head to glance at me.

Fuck, how had I never noticed how green his eyes were? I swallowed and nodded. Fuck, I was a spazz. He grinned and put the remote down leaning back into the sofa.

"Are you going... I mean, did you want to...?" He stuttered pointing to his chest.

I hid the huge smile that I couldn't stop from spreading by not releasing my teeth from lip and leaned back, resting my head on his chest. His left arm wrapped around my shoulder and pulled me closer.

"This is good, right?" I asked after we'd been watching the movie a few minutes.

"Yeah, this is good; stop over thinking it." he murmured placing a firm kiss in my hair.

His fingers began tracing lines up and down my arm and I shivered as the baby electric shocks ran up and down my arm. He must have taken that as a sign that I was cold instead, because he grabbed the blanket that was hanging over the top of the couch and threw it over us, pulling me closer to him still.

Two hours later, the movie credits were rolling but I couldn't tell you a damn thing about the film. The entire time I had been hypersensitive to Edward, to every little touch he gave me.

"C'mon, lets go up to bed."

I turned my head up to face his, completely wide eyed. "What?"

He laughed and kissed the tip of my nose. "I meant, come on let's go upstairs so that you can go to bed in your bed and I can go to bed in mine."

I exhaled audibly and he grinned. "Unless you want to..." he joked unable to contain the smile that covered his face. I smacked his arm and rolled my eyes. "Yeah Edward, let's go fuck right now. Sounds good to me."

His mouth dropped and it was my turn to laugh.

He helped me up from the couch, and I didn't make a peep as he picked me up and carried me up the stairs. After the horrible date with Mike, I didn't think I'd be protesting any of Edward's chivalrous acts... well at least for as long as I was still Ms. Gimpy McHandicapped.

He set me down gently in front of my door and bit his lip again; apparently my habit was spreading.

"I feel like I should kiss you goodnight or something," he said, running a hand through his perfect sex hair.

I shrugged. "Only if you want to." _Please say you want to. Please please please._

He smirked and nodded, leaning towards me, whispering against my lips, "I definitely want to." His lips pressed against mine and my lips reflexively took in his bottom lip and nibbled on it softly. Our mouths moved in perfect rhythm against each others. I could kiss him forever, and I was pretty sure I wanted to.

Woah. Back up, what? _Bella you kiss him twice and all of a sudden you want to kiss him forever?_

I coughed a little and pulled away from his body, swallowing hard. "Right... so, goodnight?" I stated as more of a question.

He was staring at my lips as he nodded. "Yeah, goodnight Bella..." he murmured finally looking up at me. He gave me a half smile and turned around walking into his room and shutting the door right away.

I walked into my room and leaned against the door that had been repaired since Edward's barbaric attack on it. I licked my lips and could still taste him. Damn he tasted good.

Fuck, what was I getting myself into?

**EPOV**

I went into my room, with Smith hot on my heel and got changed for bed. Part of me was excited that we were doing this and that she wanted this with me, but at the same time, I couldn't help but feel completely conflicted about when we were supposed to act 'together' and when we weren't. How the fuck was I supposed to do this? And then... be with Tanya, I guess? Or worse, have to watch Bella with Newton. What happened if, in the mean time, I fell for Tanya and I didn't want to do this whole sneaking around thing with her anymore. I just... I couldn't understand why we couldn't just fuck everybody else and be with each other. What could possibly be the harm in that?

I crawled into bed and lifted Smith in beside me. He immediately curled into my side, his hot little puppy nose planted firmly in my chest. He didn't ask too much of me; just shelter, food, attention and he was happy. My boy: all he needed were the bare essentials. As I pulled my fingers through his fur, I thought about Bella and what she was asking of me. I suppose that, in perspective, it wasn't a whole hell of a lot. All she wanted was for me to keep this (whatever the fuck it was) to ourselves for a while. I could do that... I could play along. As long as she was mine--

Wait.

Whoa.

Mine?

_Mine?_

Since when did I want Bella to be mine? Oh, right. Since I had to haul off and fucking kiss her. I sighed and pulled Smith closer. That was it, wasn't it? I wanted Bella to be mine, and I didn't want to have to share her with anybody. It wasn't so much the sneaking around that I minded, but the fact that she might kiss Newton or that Newton might touch her... I could hardly think about it, thanks to the stab of jealousy in my chest. It sucked, but I figured I could do it. For Bella, I could do it.

The weekend went by fairly quickly, and I soon found out my parents weren't allowed to know about us yet, thanks to a rather awkward conversation about sleeping arrangements in Hawaii. Yeah, we didn't tell them, and I learned to keep my mouth shut. I went to bed on Sunday night feeling incredibly nervous about tomorrow, and I figured I'd just have to get used to it. Going back to school had to happen at some point, and it was probably better that I hadn't yet gotten used to intense stretches of Edward and Bella time. Otherwise I might have asked for us to be home schooled. Bella could teach me all about Health. And Biology. And Phys. Ed. Yeah, I think I might learn more if I just let Bella teach me shit. I felt the sun start to stream in through the windows, and I groaned into Smith. Or at least I thought it was Smith. Instead, I smell the familiar strawberry shampoo. I smiled to myself and pulled her into me, refusing to open my eyes and instead kissing the top of her head.

"Hey." She breathed into my skin, planting small kisses along my collar bone.

"Hi."

"I just wanted to wake you up... since we have to get going soon."

I groaned again, and squeezed her tighter, "Do we have to? Can't we just say that we're sick or some shit?"

She laughed, and worked her hands up my chest and into my hair. "No, we have to. We'd have to go eventually, anyway. We might as well get the first day out of the way."

I sighed and leaned down to kiss her, and I was pleased to find (after my extensive research) that the buzz I felt when her lips touched mine hadn't diminished. I pulled away and buried my face in her shoulder, while she kept running her fingers through my hair.

"Really, Edward. We have to go."

"No."

"C'mon." She went to get up, but I pulled her back down.

"No."

"Edward, really, we're going to be late."

"So?"

"We can't be. It'll be too obvious."

"So we're already playing the game?"

"It's not a game, it's--"

"Bella, whatever the fuck you want to call it, it's a game."

She sighed and kissed up my neck, to my jaw and then my mouth. "It's not a game, it's a net."

Before I could respond or protest she was up and hobbling out of my room with Smith. I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face.

It was going to be a long fucking day.

**BPOV**

Not gonna lie, I had spent the better portion of the weekend wondering if I was being paranoid about how much everyone would care if Edward and I showed up hand in hand to school. But I had been able to rationalize it somehow. However, that was before we actually _arrived_ at school and I had to watch Tanya put her hands all over Edward. She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him the minute he got out of the car.

I almost puked on the spot. The only thing that stopped me was noticing that Edward remained completely stoic the entire time. He wasn't pushing her away outright, but he didn't look like he was encouraging her any; in fact, he kinda just stood there. I wondered if that was how we looked when we kissed; if he just stood there and let me assault his mouth. But then I remembered that _he_ had initiated the kiss in the backyard on Friday night, and many more times over the course of the weekend - including the afternoon he _should_ have been with Tanya, but instead had chosen to spend at home with _me_.

My smile was so wide from just thinking about it, I was practically giggling.

"Hey beautiful," a voice whispered into my hear. I jumped and turned to my side. Mike, great. I put on my best faux smile before speaking.

"Morning Mike."

"So Friday, that kiss... was some kiss right?"

Wow, he didn't beat around the bush, at all did he? I nodded quickly, "oh yeah... totally." _If you mean the ones I had with Edward_.

His arm wrapped around my shoulders. "C'mon I'll walk you to class since it looks like Cullen is busy," he said nodding towards where Edward and Tanya were _still_ going at it. I nodded slowly and hunched my shoulders, trying to get some space between my sweater and Mike's clammy hands.

I peeked over at Edward and Tanya once more over my shoulder as Mike practically shoved me up the stairs. I bit my lip hard and let out a breath.

Yeah, today was going to fucking suck.

**EPOV**

I watched Newton walk Bella up to school and I wanted to fucking beat the shit out of him. He was getting too close to her and I didn't fucking like it. But, unfortunately, I couldn't save her because Tanya's lips were attached to mine. I sighed into her mouth, and she must have thought I liked whatever the fuck she was doing with her tongue because she fisted a hand into my hair and smashed my face even closer to hers. Whatever, this is what I was supposed to do, so I might as well do it. I let her deepen the kiss, and thankfully the bell rang before she could actually lick the insides of my cheeks. I pulled away, slightly confused, and she tousled my hair a bit.

"And here I was, thinking that you didn't want me."

I just smirked down at her. She didn't know how accurate her thoughts were. She linked her arm through mine as we headed in for bio. I knew Bella'd be pissed that we were late, but whatever. If she had let me do shit my way, I would've been making out with _her_ before class. I sighed, and I felt Tanya's hand rub up and down my arm.

"Are you alright, Love? Do you want to go back to the car?" She raised her eyebrow up suggestively, and I turned my attention back to the emptying hallway.

"No, I'm fine."

I opened the door for her, and she led the way over to the table. And it's a good fucking thing she was holding my hand, because I was about to fucking kill him. He had leaned over and was pressing a kiss to Bella's temple. And the worst part? She had her fucking eyes closed with a small smile on her lips. Fuck. Way to fucking kill me, Isabella. If I had known that the only reason she didn't want to be 'out' was so that she could bone Newton behind my back... fuck. I slumped down into the seat next to Tanya, who proceeded to put her head down on my shoulder. Whatever. I didn't fucking care. All I could think about the entire time were Newton's lips touching Bella's skin. It was disgusting. She'd have to take a shower the millisecond we got home. I couldn't fucking tell you what was happening in that class, because I was too preoccupied, and when the bell rang I knew I had to take back what was... mine. Tanya gave me another quick peck on the cheek before ducking out, and I walked over to where Newton was attempting to help Bella out of her chair. Not fucking likely, Newton; Back the fuck up. I shoved Newton out of the way and slipped my arm around her waist and hoisting her to her feet.

"I've got it, Newton."

I turned to walk away, but I felt something annoying and clammy tapping my shoulder vigorously. Really?

"What?"

Newton came into my line of vision, and puffed out his chest. Well, as much as he could. "Look Cullen, Bella's my girl, so I think I'll be handling her from here."

I raised my eyebrow at him, "Oh, you don't say?"

He played right the fuck into it. "Well, yes I do say. So, we'll be moving along. Bella?"

He went to reach for her wrist, but I just tightened my grip on her. "Newton, fuck off. Let me take Bella to class and you go jack off in the bathroom like you usually do."

I blew past him, dragging Bella with me as we set down the hall toward her class. The halls were practically empty, since we'd wasted time with Mike, so the bell was about to ring.

"Edward," Bella hissed at my side, "Why the hell did you do that?"

I turned my head quickly to look at her, not breaking my stride. "Do what, Bella? Touch you? Oh, sorry Princess."

I slowed a bit, and released her, but she braced herself against the lockers. "God, you don't have to be such a shit! What the hell is wrong? Talk to me!"

I sighed and turned away from her, tugging at my hair. I couldn't tell her, I just couldn't. After all, I had agreed to this shit, and now I was essentially telling her that it was too much for me, when she didn't even bat an eyelash. Fuck. I closed my eyes when I felt her arms wrap around my waist. "I know it's hard, but we'll get through it. We just have to get everyone used to this... to us, and it'll be like this never happened. We'll be laughing about this."

"When?"

"Soon."

"That's not an answer," I said. I turned around to face her and dropped her arms from my sides.

"Well, I can't give you a fucking timeline!"

"Bella, I can't hide like this forever. I can't do it."

"I know, and I'm not asking you to. Just give it some time--"

"More time for you to make out with Newton?"

"Excuse me?"

"Bella, I saw you in bio. I'm not fucking blind."

"You... you think I want that? You think I want his dry, cracked lips on me?"

I laughed darkly, "You didn't seem to hate it."

She threw her hands up in the air and leaned up against the locker. "You got me, Edward. I can't believe I tried to keep it from you. I started... kissing you because I was to fuck Mike Newton. I want him all the time, every minute of every day. I want his big, thick cock--"

I couldn't take it anymore, so I slammed her up against the lockers and smothered her lips with my own. It wasn't affectionate or lust filled, it was possessive and... reassuring. The way that her lips gave into mine, and the way that her tongue moved with mine kept me grounded in the fact that she thought this was the right thing to do. She didn't want Newton; she wanted me. I pulled away slowly resting my forehead against hers.

"Tell me again that you want his cock."

I heard her gulp down a breath, "I... I can't."

"Tell me you want me."

" I want you," She breathed.

I leaned in and kissed her eyelids softly. "Good. Now, c'mon let's get to class."

I backed away, and laughed to myself as I took in her dazed expression. I held out my hand for her and she took it carefully.

Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all.

**BPOV**

"Earth to Bella!" I heard Alice's voice shout from across the lunch table.

I shook my head and looked at her. "Sorry, what?"

She grinned and wagged a limp french fry at me. "Was someone thinking about a certain kiss?"

I bit my lip and stared down at my cold sandwich, blushing. I wanted to tell her _yes, but not the kiss you're thinking I'm thinking about_.

"I still can't get over that Mike's a stud in the ways of the tongue," she said with a tone of disbelief. I scoffed and nodded my head side to side.

"Bella, it's obviously not an overstatement; you've been off in la-la land for the last 10 minutes."

Before I could respond, I felt the mass that was Emmett collapse on the bench beside me. "So something must be in the air," he stated matter-of-factly.

"What're you blabbing about?" Alice asked, chomping on her french fry.

"Well first little Miss. Bells here scores some lip stuff with Newton and now Edward and Rosie's BFF are in his car going at it like bunnies."

What? He was _fucking_ her already? Was that... I hadn't thought...

I bit the inside of my lip and stood up abruptly. "Where ya goin' Bellerina?" Emmett asked slowly chewing on a piece of his burger.

"Oh um... I just realized I forgot to do the homework assignment for Math this weekend. I'm gonna go to the library and work on it," I lied, quickly grabbing my sandwich and soda from the table.

"Who cares? You can miss _one_ assignment. Trust me, I miss one assignment on a frequent basis."

Shaking my head, I patted his shoulder. "No really, I can't. I'll see you guys later though." I said trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.

He shrugged and turned back to his burger.

I'm not sure how it was possible to sprint down a long corridor in a fucking cast, but I made it down the hallway and out the doors to the parking lot in a flash. I made my way slowly over to Edward's car.

My eyes caught a glimpse of movement in the car but I couldn't make out what was exactly happening. That is, until I saw Tanya's head lift up from where it had been on his shoulder... she was hovering over him and biting her lip but grinning.

Fuck could she see me?

Well it didn't fucking matter; Edward was under her in that tiny fucking car and she was biting her lip - clearly enjoying herself. I sniffed back the tears and bit my lip to stop them from falling.

I didn't know why I was so upset. I had practically _told him_ to fuck her, right? By not agreeing to go public right away, by saying we should stick to our current situations? Apparently his situation with Tanya was progressing faster than mine with Mike.

Maybe _that's_ what he meant about it being a game. Maybe I needed to even up the score.

**EPOV**

"C'mon, Edward... I know you want this."

Tanya ground her hips back into my not-quite-so hard on, and I groaned as I tried to push her off of me. "Tanya, please. I... we have to get to lunch."

"But, Edward" She said, slipped her hand in between us to cup the boys. "You brought me a snack."

Fuck.

I laughed bitterly, and pushed her into the other seat, where she pouted. "Let's just get back in there, alright?"

She folded her arms over her chest and glared at me, but I wasn't about to back down. Lunch was just about the only time I could touch or talk to Bella without raising suspicion. Fuck me if I missed it. I got out of my car and waited for Tanya who took her good sweet time, and all but sprinted back into school. I was just rounding the corner, when I saw a familiar figure braced against the wall and hobbling down the hallway.

"Bella?" I called, but she didn't turn around. "BELLA!" I was a little louder the second time, so she stopped and I jogged over to her. She turned slowly, and I couldn't help but be confused when I saw her red-rimmed eyes and ruddy cheeks. I bent down a little bit and tried to wipe at her eyes.

"Baby, what's wrong?" She closed her eyes and sucked in a breath then shook her head against my hands. "Bella, seriously, tell me what's wrong."

She exhaled, "Nothing. It's just my leg. It hurts."

I furrowed my brow and looked down at her mangy caste. "Do you want to go to the nurse? She could give you something."

"No. Can you... um, can you call Esme? Maybe she could come pick me up."

My eyes snapped up to hers, "Why would you need Esme? I'll take you."

"Edward... you haven't had a full day back... and you... I mean, I don't think--"

"Then don't think," I said as I lifted her into my arms and started carrying her back out to the Volvo.

"Edward, please... don't. Please."

"Bella, it's fine, we'll just--"

"NO! I don't want you to take me! Please. Just put me down!"

The abrupt tone of her voice startled me, so I put her down almost immediately. I watched nervously as she slid down the wall and held her head in her hands.

"Do you want me?" She whispered. I sighed and sat down next to her, "What?"

She sighed and started bobbing her head a little, "Do _you_ want _me?"_

"Bella, sometimes you're ridiculous."

"Answer the question."

I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight to my chest. "Of course I want you. I want you more than you could possibly imagine."

"But you... and her..."

My heart sank to the pit of my stomach. It really was hurting her just as much as it was hurting me. "Bella, it's nothing. I'm just... pretending."

She laughed sadly into my chest, "Can you be a little worse at it?"

I let my hand glide down her back, in what I hoped to be a comforting motion. "Baby, I want you. Only you. Okay? Just trust me."

She pulled in a long breath, then exhaled. "I do. I just don't trust.... _them."_

"You don't have to. I won't let anything happen. I promise." I sat there with her for a moment longer, but then I realized the bell was about to ring and unless she wanted everyone to know right this second, we'd have to move.

"Baby, if you want we can go somewhere else if you aren't up to this, but we can't stay here."

"Why not?" She asked, snuggling closer.

I squeezed her again, and was just about to open my mouth when I heard someone else come up behind us.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Fuck.

**BPOV**

I sighed heavily and turned around to face Rosalie. "Hey Rose."

She didn't even look at me. "What didn't you get about _get the fuck away from her_ the first time Cullen?" She spat glaring at Edward.

"He was helping me up because I fell," I said a bit louder. Rosalie turned her eyes to mine and sighed. "Fine, whatever. Just get the fuck off her Edward you look like you're about to pounce on her."

_If only..._

He shook his head. "Fuck off Rose; I'm just gonna make sure Bella makes it to class without slipping again."

"_I'll_ take her," she sneered.

"Rose, it's okay. Edward carries me everywhere anyway; I'm helping him build muscle for baseball season by being his weight machine," I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Apparently that was the _wrong_ thing to say.

"WHAT?! He carries you _everywhere_?" she repeated.

Fuck fuckity fuck fuck.

"It's just... he already does it at home because Esme and Carlisle beg him to... I just, I think it might be habit."

"And _big fucking deal_ if I choose to fucking help Bella out," Edward chimed in. "It's not any of _your_ concern."

"It damn well fucking _is_. It's my job as her _friend_ Edward... you know someone you like because of who they are and not what size their tits are?"

"I know what a fucking friend is Rosalie; though I'm surprised _you_ have any with your fucking attitude."

"Just leave her the fuck alone Edward. She doesn't need to contract anything from you because you fuck anything that moves through these halls. _Especially_ after you spent the afternoon fucking Ms. Trash herself."

"Fucking Christ, what is it to _you_ who I fuck Rosalie? Jesus, just because you think about my cock every minute of the day doesn't mean it's active that often."

The bell rang out, echoing down the empty hallway.

She huffed with disgust and looked over at me. "Come on Bella, I'll help you get to class."

I looked from her to Edward and back again. Shit, what do I do? Baby steps right... let people see us in baby steps...

"Actually Rose, um, I think Edward has me - has it," I corrected, hoping she didn't notice the innuendo.

She rolled her eyes. "Ugh fine Bella, but I'm not going with you to Planned Parenthood when you start sporting sores on your body from too much contact with _that_" she said motioning to Edward.

I nodded smiling a little, "understood."

She gave one last death glare to Edward and brushed past us.

He wrapped his arm around my waist, gripping it tighter and we made our way down the hall. As we approached the stairway he veered through the doors.

"Edward, um... my next class is in 104."

"You do realize, that you've tarnished your reputation now?" He said pinning me into the corner of the small walkway between sets of stairs.

"What the hell are you talking about? How?" I asked looking up at him, completely fucking confused.

He smirked and lowered his head, kissing my lips softly "Well..." he whispered nuzzling his nose against my cheek and kissing down my neck slowly. "You more or less defended me, to _Rosalie_."

"Yeah... so?" I asked quietly, tilting my head to the side to give him better access.

"So... you hate me; or at the very least are apathetic to me in their eyes. Don't you think she's going to bring that up to everyone, including you, later?"

The fuck did I care? Right now all I cared about was how I was going to remain vertical with Edward's lips on me like they were.

"Baby steps Edward, we'd said we'd let them know slowly. This was my way of telling you that I don't want to -" my breath caught as I felt his teeth scrape against the bottom of my throat. "... that I don't want to keep this - us, you, me.. all of it - a secret a second longer than necessary."

He pulled away looking at me with furrowed brows. "It's not necessary _now_ Bella."

I sighed and felt my heart dive into my stomach. He was right, of course he was. But I was paranoid and I couldn't shake the feeling that us going from hating each other not even 2 weeks ago, to being unable to stop kissing would throw off the equilibrium in our circle of friends; and both of us needed our friends. "Please Edward, you agreed to let us _try_ this way."

He pinched the bridge of his nose before looking at me again. "I know I did, I just... fuck Bella. This shit is confusing. I want to fucking punch Newton when he just _looks_ at you, and I find you in tears when you see me with Tanya. This just doesn't fucking make sense. If we both feel like we do, _if_ it's the same way, the same amount... then why the fuck aren't we basking in it and making everyone feel miserable for not having what we have instead of making ourselves miserable by hiding it?"

I slid my arms around his neck and entwined my hands in his hair bringing his head closer to mine. "Edward, I may not know _exactly_ how you feel, all I can speak for is myself. And personally, all I want to do is kiss you; like I seriously think about it so much it's kind of embarrassing. And since that first kiss the night we got Smith all I can fucking wrap my head around is _this_. And I like that there's no pretense between us. You take me for all my craziness and I take you with all of your mood swings; and somehow, so far it's working. And it's been like what, 3 days or something? So maybe that's nothing to write home about... but I can say that I have _never_ felt a physical reaction when kissing someone. And when I kiss you it's like... it's like this warm pulsating _thing_ flows through me. And it feels like this is exactly where I should be and what I should be doing. So I don't know if that's anything close to what you feel, but there it is - all on the line..."

He tightened the grip on my waist as his lips dipped down to mine. He kissed me firmly, his tongue swiping along my bottom lip asking for access which I eagerly gave. Our lips molded to one another's effortlessly and I sighed as our tongues battled.

He may not have said the words, but I was pretty sure we were on the same page.

**EPOV**

The week went by with pretty much the same shit happening everyday. I'd get dry humped by Tanya, and Bella would collect dead skin cells from Newton when he touched her. Then, we'd go home to our boy, take a shower, then make out until my parents got home. Eat dinner. Repeat. We started sleeping in separate bedrooms again, mostly because I didn't trust myself to... um, keep it PG. Then, in the morning before I'd take Smith out, I'd go across the hall and make sure she'd woken up (which turned into a twenty minute deal). I really, really liked all of the time that we'd have together; it was always easy and fun because I never had to be anyone but myself around her. She already knew all of my shit, and I knew all of hers so there wasn't any point in hiding. That was probably the best part. The shit that I hated though, was when she'd smile or touch Newton or when she'd glare at me from across the room as Tanya played with my hair and brushed her fingers along my cheek. We'd end up arguing about it, then making out. I suppose the kissing off set the anger, but deep down I knew it wasn't right. I knew that I couldn't keep hiding whatever the fuck this was for too much longer. It was actually starting to hurt.

By Wednesday, Bella had yet another date with Newton, so when Tanya called me on Friday morning and asked me to take her to Seattle for the night, I figured it was the least I could do. I wasn't about to sit home and pine for the girl while she got shit on with the human leech. I decided to wait to tell her until we were in the car and heading to school. To say that she wasn't pleased would be an understatement.

"So you just said... yes to her? You didn't even think about how I'd feel?" She drummed her fingers quickly against the arm rest, and when I tried to take her hand in mine she pulled it away.

"Of course I thought of you. But, Bella, this is exactly what we both knew was going to happen. If you wanted me to pretend to date someone, I might actually have to put in a little effort."

"Well, why can't you invite... Alice and Jasper? Go on a group date... or something."

"So when Newton takes you out tonight, you're going with Em and Rose?" I looked at her sideways, and she was shooting daggers into the side of my face.

"It's not the same."

"Why not?"

"Because... it just isn't."

"That's not an answer."

"It's the only one I have."

"Try again."

She sighed and tugged at her hair, "I would never... actually _do_ anything with Mike."

"So?" I pushed.

"So... Tanya's someone that you would... I mean, people would think that... that you and her, that you two would be--"

"Bella, spit it out."

"She's the kind of person you _would_ date."

"How so?"

She whimpered a little bit. I knew I was pushing her, but she had to learn how to talk to me if this was going to happen. "Because she's so... pretty."

"But you're beautiful."

"You... you think that?"

I laughed and put my hand on her knee, "Yeah, Bella. Why wouldn't I? Do you think I kiss all the girls the way I kiss you?" Her silence said it all. "You did, didn't you?"

"Well, I mean, it was a thought."

"An unfounded one."

"But a thought, nonetheless!" She was getting angry again, and I knew we were nowhere close to ending this, so I pulled the car over and turned to her.

"Just be with me? Please? Let's walk into school, tell Newton and Tanya to fuck off and just be together, please?"

I was begging her now, and I felt like such a shit for putting this all on her, but keeping us a secret meant more to her than it did to me. I didn't give two shits about what people thought. I really didn't. What the fuck did it matter to me if people didn't get it or didn't like it? I _got_ it and I _liked _it. And that's all that really mattered to me; that and that she liked it, too.

"That won't fix anything." She mumbled, keeping her eyes trained on her lap.

"Bella, it'll fix everything! Can't you see what this sneaking around is doing?"

Her eyes snapped up to meet mine and she looked so fucking sad, "It's keeping us from making a huge mistake! Edward, if we tell everybody now, it'll fuck everything up! Our friends... they'll pull us apart. Maybe not Angela and Alice or Jasper and Ben, but Rosalie? Definitely. Emmett? He did it once, do you really want to watch him try again? Not to mention Tanya! Oh, God Edward, what that bitch wouldn't do..."

At first all I thought was that Emmett wouldn't do anything like that, and I could take on Rose; she didn't scare me. But Tanya? Tanya definitely could fuck shit up. She could be mean and vindictive when she wanted to be, and I didn't want her using those skills on Bella. If anything, I had to protect Bella from that. I sighed and dragged a hand through my hair, then closed my eyes.

"You win. Again. But then you have to understand that when I take Tanya out, it's for this... facade we're putting up. It's got nothing to do with me wanting her, okay? This is a game, right? So let's play it."

She sighed and I felt her crawl over the seats and into my lap. How the fuck did she do that? I don't fucking care.

"I know. It's just... hard, because I... care about you, and I don't want you doing any of that shit without me."

I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her shoulder and neck, taking in her scent as she pushed her nimble little fingers into my hair. "I know, Baby, I know. I hate it; you _know _ I hate it. But I wouldn't do any of it if you hadn't asked me to. And if you wanted me to stop right fucking now, I would."

All I wanted to hear was for her to tell me that she wanted to stop; that she couldn't handle watching Tanya and me anymore than I could watch her and Newton. I wanted her to tell me that... I don't know, that she fucking _loved me_ I guess, and that the thought of being with someone else was disgusting. That she couldn't do it anymore; that she didn't want me to do it anymore. I just wanted _her. _She sighed and placed light kisses on my cheek down to my jaw then right at my ear before she whispered, "I'm sorry, Edward. I really am. But we'll get through this, I promise. We can get through this and we'll be so much better off because of it. We'll be so much stronger, and then we won't ever be apart. Not ever."

I sighed and started nibbling at her shoulder. Maybe give Newton something to look at later, since he was still in the fucking picture. "Not ever?" I murmured into her skin, "What if it pulls us apart first?"

She pulled me closer, and held on to me tightly, "It won't... we won't... we can't... no."

I pushed my hands into her back and looked up at her, "I trust you."

She looked down at me, her brown eyes wide and glassy. "I trust you."

She leaned over and pressed her lips delicately to mine. I wanted this, I knew, for as long as I could have it. I didn't want to have to share her, but I suppose I wasn't. I had her heart, and maybe (for now) that was enough. She needed me to do this for her, so I would.

We made out in the car for a while longer, since we'd already missed most of bio with our mini-fight, and I passed her off to Newton when he saw us coming in. He glared at me, and I flipped him the bird. Bella didn't even wave good-bye. I trudged through the morning, knowing that tonight would be even worse. All I could do was hope that Tanya would keep me occupied enough that I wouldn't be too preoccupied with Bella. I didn't want to think about her on a date with him; that was the whole point of going out with Tanya, right?

At lunch, Bella sat across from me, and I was flanked by Alice and Ben. I didn't try to get her attention or anything.

"So, Emmett," I heard her say, "Do you think you can watch Mr. Smith tonight?"

Emmett perked up and looked at her hopefully, "Sure! Whatcha up to?"

She shifted uncomfortably in her chair, but didn't look at me. "Cullen and I both have dates tonight, so we can't be home for him"

"oh...OH! You're gonna get laid tonight, and you don't want the puppy to hear!"

I almost fucking killed him right then and there. Bella blushed a deep crimson, and I wanted to wipe it right the fuck off her face. She was giving them the wrong impression. They weren't supposed to think they were fucking. This was... too much.

I heard Emmett chuckle, and I dropped my eyes to the floor. "Well, it's about time someone popped your cherry, Bells. And sure, Rosie and I would love to take little Smitty tonight."

"Th--thanks, Em. Maybe Edward will pick him up after his d-date."

"Yeah, I'll be there. I'll call you when I'm on my way." I stood up quickly, and left the table. I didn't want to be there anymore. I didn't want to hear about her and Newton and... I just didn't. I went into the stairwell, and hid out behind them, crouched in the corner. I closed my eyes and pulled my knees up to my chest and rubbed my head in my hands. I couldn't fucking do this. I couldn't. I didn't want to, and I just didn't think I could take it. I heard some one come over to me, and then she sat down in front of me. I didn't even think as I pulled her in between my legs and held on to her. I held her like I was going to fucking break if I didn't. I couldn't let her go for whatever reason, and soon enough I felt tears leaking from my eyes. She pulled herself tighter against my chest and kissed me softly.

"It doesn't matter, Edward. It doesn't fucking matter. Let them think what they want, it's okay."

"But it's not... this is more than just you and me, this is you and _him._ They think that you--"

"Shh... stop. My sex life is my business, and yours now, too. That's it. You're the only person I have to answer to. So listen to me: I haven't slept with Mike Newton, and I definitely don't plan on it. Trust me. Remember? You have to trust me."

I leaned my head into hers and she started kissing my eyes, "It's not that. It just hurts, Isabella. It hurts so fucking much to think about you and him, and then what people are saying... and what if he tries something? What if I'm not there? What happens then?"

She laughed, but kept kissing my face softly, "You think I can't take care of myself?"

I closed my eyes, and smiled in spite of myself, "I think you trip over air."

"So you think I'm going to trip and my vagina will happen to land on his cock?"

I kissed her, "It could happen. I saw you in that skirt the other day."

She brushed her fingers through my hair and kissed my forehead, "That was a nightgown. And what if I promise never to wear a dress or a skirt around him?"

"Or jeans with holes in the crotch."

"I don't think I have any like that."

"Then it'll be easy to keep that promise."

She laughed and kissed me again, "Yeah, it will." She moved to put her head on my shoulder, and I kissed along the column of her neck.

"I'm sorry this is so hard on you," she whispered, running her hands across my shoulders. "I wish you didn't hurt so much."

"Why isn't it the same for you?"

She sighed and kissed the crook of my neck, "I'm used to people talking shit about you."

"But... we all used to talk shit about you. And it never bothered me then. Just now. Why now?"

"Because you care about me. And it's in your nature to protect. Remember that time in second grade? When James pushed me out of the tree, and you threw a rock at him? It's the same thing."

"Is it?"

She adjusted herself so that her body was even closer, and kissed my pulse point. "Mhm. You didn't want to care about me before, so you didn't. That's all there is to it."

I sighed against her hair, "I'm sorry I was such an asshole."

She giggled a little bit, "I'm sorry I was Queen of the Shrew People."

"You gave up your throne?" I said, feigning shock.

"Yeah, I was thinking I could give Rosalie a try at it."

"She'd be perfect."

"I know, right?"

I leaned over and kissed her cheek, and then she tiled her head up so I could kiss her lips. I really couldn't get enough of this girl. "Bella, I trust you."

"I trust you, too." I let her hold me until the bell rang, and we regretfully disentangled from each other. I helped her up, and she fixed my shirt before we headed into the hall.

"So, you'll be home for Smith before Emmett takes him?" I asked.

"Yeah. Listen, why don't I just have Em take me home, and that way you and Tanya can just go straight from school."

I looked down at her, puzzled. "Why? Why don't you want me to take you home?"

"Because that way you can get home _for the night_ even sooner. I don't want to roll around on the couch with you, and then send you out with another girl. _That_ I can't do."

I squeezed her waist, "Okay. Just make sure he knows. What time do you think you'll get home?"

She scoffed a little bit. "Hopefully before the sun sets."

"Bella, that's like, 5."

"I know."

"He isn't picking you up until 6."

"I know."

It was my turn to scoff, and I brought her into her classroom and helped her into her seat. Thank fucking god we were early. "I'll try and get back by 9 at the latest. Do you think that'll be okay?"

She looked up at me with innocent doe eyes, "Why wouldn't it be? You know I have to take my meds at 8."

"Bella, you don't--" I laughed and shook my head. "Lying to Newton. I'm rubbing off on you. So, do you think it would be okay if I kissed you?"

Her eyes darted from corner to corner. "I think I might like that."

I leaned in slowly, smirking at her. "You might, huh?"

Her eyes fluttered closed, "Well, I haven't been kissed properly in the last twen--"

I kissed her properly. It wasn't about lust or need or sex or anything like that. It was a boy kissing a girl that he couldn't live without. Because I'll admit I didn't know a lot of fucking shit, but I knew that if I had to spend any amount of time away from Bella that wasn't absolutely necessary, I would explode. She pulled away before I wanted her to, and kissed me quickly on the nose.

"You'd better go. Alice will be walking through the door any minute."

I stood up and looked down at her. "What do you mean?"

"Hey, Bella! How's your leg? Edward! What are you doing here."

I raised my eyebrow at Bella, before turning to face Alice. "I caught her coming from the nurse, and she looked like she needed some help."

Alice came to stand beside me, and rubbed my arm affectionately. "Aww, that's so sweet. See Bella? I told you he isn't always a neanderthal."

She smiled up at me, and laughed. "No, not always. You were right."

I rolled my eyes at them and walked out of the room. Maybe she wasn't mine outright, but in my... heart she was. And for now, that would have to do. That would have to be enough. And I guess it was. I just didn't know for how long. And honestly I didn't want to think about it. I could feel the doubt seeping back into the corners of my mind, and I tried to push it away because it only hurt to think about the possibility that Bella was playing me, and was only looking for someone to distract her. That hurt too fucking much. I shook my head and went into class, where Tanya was waiting for me. She smiled and I sat down beside her. She kissed my cheek. I tried to give her an appreciative smile, but I wasn't sure it came across. She twisted her fingers in the hair at the nape of my neck and leaned her head on my shoulder.

"You okay, love?" She asked, her voice quiet and soothing.

"Mhm, I'm fine."

She sighed, but kept rubbing and right then that was all that I needed. I just wished it was Bella, instead.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N:  
I just want you all to know that Belleroni here is the best damn FF writer in these here parts. And anywhere else for that matter. so you better bow down before her and this 12k+word chap

Oh good LORD kel. Last I checked, you wrote half of these POV's. So it's not all me, lovebug. You get most of the credit.

No no no... it's for you madame and your greatness. and the lemons, limes and other citruses... can't forget the fruits. God, why do I find that so funny?

The fruits? Cause it's redic random, that's why! How come we can't be normal and just day "Hey, they're boning here!"

Um, I dunno. Because there's under 18 reading this and the site would throw a hissy?

Maybe... but hey kel? Can I do a shameless lemony plug?

Squeeze away...

Little Miss Whitlock's The Muffin Man? Voting Ends tomorrow, and you know her lemons are way, um, riper than mine so... get over to kittenmischief's page and vote for her! Oh, and kel?

hm?

She might be the other half of my brain, but you're tots my fanfic soul mate :-)

awwwww ditto 'lala :)

(oh right: disclaimer: we don't own this shit. SMeyer does. And honestly after this stupid long chapter you hoes better review)

**EPOV**

A few hours later, I was at Tanya's house waiting for her to finish changing.

"Edward, what do you think of this one?" She did a little spin in a short blue dress, and all I could think was how much prettier Bella would look in it. I sighed and leaned back against her bed, rubbing the heel of my hands into my eyes.

"Love?" She called, her voice getting nearer, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I said as she crawled on top of me. "I'm just tired."

"It's that girl, isn't it?" She hissed. "All of her moaning keeps you up all night." _They sure do, it's just not the kind of moan you're thinking of._

I sighed and dropped my arm across her back. "No, it's not Bella. She's pretty quite."

"So you don't even notice her?"

I hesitated, "No. I don't notice her at all."

She ran her hands up and down my chest and I apologized to Bella in my head. At least she would never have to fucking here about this. Tanya moved herself up to my face and started planting small kisses on my cheeks. "Edward, you smell funny."

I didn't open my eyes as I ran my hand up and down her back, "Do I? Is that bad?"

"No, it's just... different. So should I wear this dress or not?"

"Well, I'm just going in this, so--"

"Oh, Edward!" She said, sliding off of me and walking away, "Can't you go home and change?"

"No."

"Oh, you probably don't want to deal with the cripple, right?"

My temper flared as she said the words, so I kept my mouth shut. I was two seconds away from slapping her. I didn't understand why she was always ranking on Bella. Sure, I was secretly dating her, but as far as Tanya was concerned I was with her. I didn't pay Bella any mind when Tanya and I were together, so she didn't have any reason to be suspicious.

"Okay, I think I'm ready." She called, and I sat up. She was wearing clothes and it was good enough for me, so I took her out to the volvo to head into town. The drive was fairly quiet, and I let Tanya pick the restaurant. I didn't fucking care; from the second we left Forks, I just wanted to turn around and go home. We were sitting in the booth, and she started to roll little paper balls with her straw wrapper.

"So, how did you and Bernie meet?"

"You mean Bella?"

She shurgged and rolled her eyes, "Potato Po_tat_o."

I let out a heavy, audible sigh. "Our families have been friends for ages. We were always thrown together."

"Must've been horrible for you," she said, cupping her chin in her hand.

"Not really, I got used to it after a while."

"But still, to be stuck with people so... sub par--"

My gaze snapped up to meet hers, "What does that mean?"

"Well, honestly? You don't really fit in with your friends. They're so much different than you."

"So?" What the fuck was the point of this?

"So, I don't understand why it's so hard for you to just... leave them behind."

I sighed and shut my eyes, "We talked about this. Not gonna happen."

"I know," she said calmly, "But what I don't understand is why you're so nice to Bella. You don't like her, so why bother?"

"My parents make me."

"But how much do you really know about her... accident?" Tanya asked, leaning in closer over the table.

"Enough. But what's there to know? Her parents died, and she almost did too."

"But she didn't." There was a strange glint in Tanya's eye that I didn't like.

"What are you trying to say?"

She shrugged and sat back against the booth. "Nothing, just seems strange, is all."

I narrowed my eyes at her, "Tanya, I don't know what you're insinuating but whatever it is, I don't fucking like it."

"Like you weren't thinking it," she scoffed.

"No, I wasn't. Don't you think it's been hard enough for her without people making up shit and speculating about her? You weren't even here when it happened."

"So?"

"So, what the fuck do you know?"

She pouted a little, and she looked like she was about to cry or something. I sighed and swiped her hand from across the table. "I'm sorry, but you can't say shit like that about her. She's vulnerable enough. And I may not... like her, but I will defend her because whether I... like it or not, she's a member of my family. And I always protect my family."

She pouted a little bit more but changed the subject back to Hawaii once I told her that we were going for Thanksgiving.

"I wish I could go with you," she hinted as I paid the bill. "It might be nice. You, me, a beach..." she trailed off as her foot made it's way up and down my leg.

"Sorry, T, but it's a family thing. My parents wouldn't even let me bring Emmett."

She pouted a bit more as we got back into the volvo and started to drive back to Forks. I wanted to get home. I wanted my Bella and my boy and my bed. Every second I spent away from her felt longer than the last, and it fucking sucked. I didn't know if I could keep doing this. What if every date I had consisted of me defending Bella to Tanya? I couldn't do it. No, wait, I'd have to clarify that. I could defend Bella, that was fine, but what I couldn't do was keep lying to her and to Tanya. Tanya had been... nice to me, I suppose, and even if she did turn out to be a vindictive bitch she at least deserved to know the truth. I wanted the truth. I needed it.

I dropped Tanya off and flipped open my phone to text her. I wanted her. I needed her.

_I need you._

_Meet me at home._

**BPOV**

I felt sick. I wasn't sure if it was the food or just Mike.

"Everything okay? You're quiet Bells." Mike asked as he scooted closer to me in the booth we were sequestered in at Dine n' Drive.

I put on my best forced smile and nodded. "Yeah, it's just been a weird week."

Well that was an understatement.

"I know, right?"

"What? How was it weird for you?"

He looked at me incredulously. "Bella, like you don't know..." he trailed off. No really, I had no fucking clue. I didn't really pay attention to Mike unless he was a foot away from me, and even then my eyes were usually glazed over deep in thought about Edward.

"No, really. What happened?"

"You really have no idea?"

I stared at him pointedly. "Obviously Mike, otherwise I wouldn't be asking."

"Um, well you know..." he said reaching and scratching the back of his neck. "About what's going around, about what happened to you know.... your folks."

What? What about my parents?

"What do you mean? What are people saying?"

"Bella, come on. It's just a stupid rumor, you know how tiny this town is people were bound to start talking about it sometime."

I was getting angry. Mike was like the male gossip queen; it must have been pretty bad if he was withholding the information.

"What are they saying Mike?"

"Well, I mean... I just heard it from Tyler, so it probably means jack shit. And he heard it from Jess & Tanya at lunch so you know... it's probably not true."

Both Tanya and Jess had something to do with this? What the hell? Tanya just moved here - she didn't even know them!

I took a deep breath, and put my hand on his. "What did they say?"

He huffed and pursed his lips. "They said... they said that you knew the attacker. That you knew him and weren't telling the cops who it was because you didn't want him to get into trouble. That you... that you asked him to do it."

My mouth dropped and I stared at him, my eyes immediately filling with tears at the accusation. What the fuck?!

"And you, you _believed _them?!" I scolded.

His eyes widened and he shrugged. "Well yea, I mean no... I mean at first it kinda made sense."

"WHAT?! At _first_?!"

"Bells, you gotta admit you're friends are pretty scandelous sometimes. I mean, I don't think _you_ would have done it but I wouldn't have put it passed some of your friends to try and convince you to."

"My friends?! Mike, you've know me since we were FIVE. How could you think I would.. that I could _ever_... the words were stuck and in their place tears streamed down my face. They were my parents. Sure we had our fights and our usual disagreements but that was the typical relationship between parent and teen, right?

Mike reached over to pull me too him but I shrugged him off forcefully. "Don't _fucking_ touch me."

"Bells, I said I didn't believe them anymore. C'mon let's head to the movies."

I looked at him completely dumbfounded. "What? No!"

"No?"

"No, Mike! In fact, I think that this," I motioned between us with my index finger "isn't going to work."

"Why not?"

Seriously? I mean, _seriously_?

"Because you think I fucking has something to do with what happened you fucking douchbag!" I screamed, standing up and tossing a five dollar bill on the table. "In fact, don't even bother driving me home. I'll call one of my oh-so-scary friends to come by."

"That's stupid Bella, just let me take you home. I'm sorry, okay? I know you like your friends or whatever. And I'm sorry about the whole rumor thing. I swear I don't think you did anything."

"GOOD!" I spat. "Because I DIDN'T! But that still doesn't change that you're a creepy little lawn gnome with clammy hands and an overly active tongue. I mean shit, you almost _choked_ me with it!"

He looked utterly baffled. "What? I thought you _liked_ the kiss?"

"Yeah, well I've had better." _Like Edward_, I wanted to add.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah right, whatever Bella. Like anyone beside me and Tyler have ever dared to try it. You're the fucking Queen of the Prudes - everyone knows it."

Whatever, it wasn't even worth arguing. "You're right," I shrugged. "And creeps like you are the reason why." I turned my back towards him and walked out of the diner.

I sat inside of the cafe across the street from the grease joint and flipped open my phone. One new text message - from Edward. I beamed even before opening it and sighed with relief as I read his message.

**You have no idea. Be home soon. **

I hit send and waited for confirmation that it had gone through. Then I pressed "talk" to the first person on my contacts list and waited for someone to answer.

Not even 10 minutes later, I saw Angela's beat up Ford Taurus boat pull up in front of the coffee house.

"Thank god, I totally owe you," I said as I slid into the passenger seat.

"Don't even worry about it Bella. I still can't get over what he said! I mean, we all knew Mike was a little off but to believe that? From Tanya no less?"

"I know; and that's why I broke up with him. It's not good for my rep to date someone that stupid."

She giggled quietly and grinned. "And you're sure this has nothing to do with Edward?"

Wait, what? _Edward_?

"What? No... Edward is... just no." I said stumbling over my words. God I _wish_ I could tell her. It was fucking killing me not being able to confide in my best friend.

"Oh, so Edward had nothing to do with it? He has been completely mum about you and Mike?" She asked turning to look at me with one brow arched high.

"Um.... no?" What was she getting at? Oh fuck, had she _seen_ us?

She turned to face straight ahead and smiled. "Well I'm glad. I figured that Edward would be giving you a ton of grief for dating Mike. He _hates_ him. I'm surprised Mike doesn't run screaming in terror every time Edward looks at him."

I sighed with relief. She thought it was just typical Edward the asshole at work, not Edward the best kisser in the entire fucking universe. "Oh, yeah. No, he hasn't been too bad. I think he's just distracted with Tanya."

Ugh, just saying that out loud, however untrue it may be made me feel queasy.

"Makes sense. Though he has been hanging around you a lot lately, hasn't he? Rose said something about him carrying you everywhere?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, not _everywhere_. Rose is exaggerating. He helps me occasionally, mostly at home since his parents are all over him to be nice to me... and sometimes at school."

She pulled into the Cullen's driveway and turned to look at me. "And now, apparently," she said motioning to where he was sitting on the porch, watching Smith prance around the front yard.

"It looks like he's just watching Smith do his business."

"Yeah, maybe."

Before she got any more ideas, I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the door. "Thanks again for the ride Ang. You totally saved me tonight."

She leaned her head forward looking up at me. "No problemo Bells. I'll see you Monday, yea?"

"Yea," I smiled slamming the car door. I waited for her car to completely vanish from sight before turning around.

I was home.

**EPOV**

I watched the unfamiliar car pull out of the driveway, and I stood up slowly. I wasn't sure if it was her or not, but I needed it to be. Smith barked and ran over to the shadowed figure, and then I heard her speak.

"Edward?" She called softly. I was at her side in an instant and wrapped her up in my arms. It felt so much better than being wrapped around Tanya. It was better when Bella touched me, and talked to me. I didn't want anybody else. I couldn't do it; I'd tried, but I couldn't do it. I dropped my head down and buried it in the side of her neck. Her arms wrapped tightly around me, and after a while I noticed that she was rocking us slightly.

"What's wrong" She asked.

I clutched her tighter to me and sobbed a bit. "I can't do it, Bella. I can't fucking do it. I tried, but I can't.... it just doesn't... please tell me I don't have to do this anymore."

I didn't want to let her go. It was as though holding onto her would keep me together and was as essential to me as air or water. It was necessary. She was necessary. She sighed and kissed my cheek.

"Edward... it's... it's for the best..."

"Bella, I can't go and kiss her while I'm thinking of you. I can't fucking do it. And I won't. Not anymore." I straightened up so that I could look at her. "I'm breaking up with her on Monday. I can't do it."

"But..."

"But nothing. I can't do that with her. Bella, I'm falling for you; deeper and deeper every fucking day. It's not right. It's... not. I need to stop pretending."

"It's not about pretending, though, it's about--" I sighed and rolled my eyes, effectively cutting her off. "Hey, stop. It's what I... need okay?"

I looked down at her and raked my hand through my hair. I thought of how alone I'd felt with Tanya, and how badly I'd needed to hold Bella after that date. If this is what she needed, then I'd be fucked if I didn't give it to her. I pulled her back into me, and rested my cheek on top of her head.

"I'll do it, but I'm still breaking up with her. Even if you don't want me to do it for you, it's not fair to her. I'm leading her on."

Bella sighed and ran her hands up and down my sides. "It's okay. I understand. I... I wouldn't want that." She sighed into my t-shirt, "By the way, Mike and I broke up."

THANK FUCKING GOD.

"Really? That's good. What happened?"

"He believed a rumor about me."

"The one about your parents?"

She didn't say anything. Then again, she didn't have to. Mike was part of Bella's charade. She wouldn't have cut him loose for anything less. I squeezed her tighter and kissed the top of her head.

"Baby, they're assholes. They don't know what they're talking about, and you'd have to be an idiot to believe something like that. A fucking idiot, Baby."

"Did _she_ tell you?" She breathed.

"Not in so many words. She's a bitch, Baby. Forget about her."

"I intend to. How was our boy?"

She didn't want to talk about it anymore, and I didn't blame her. It was all stupid shit anyway. "Tired. We were just out here waiting for you."

"I figured. You almost gave Ang a heart attack though."

"You could've called me, you know."

She nodded into my chest, "I know, but I just called the first person in my contacts."

I kissed the top of her head again and caught sight of Smith waiting for us on the porch. "C'mon. Little Man's tired."

She laughed softly and pulled out of my arms. "Let's go."

I followed her into the house, and after we took off our coats, I carried the two of them upstairs. I kissed her in front of my door, and when she went to pull away, I stopped her.

"Stay with me." A simple enough statement, but it felt like my entire heart was on the line.

Her eyes darted back and forth down the hall. "What about--"

"Don't worry about them. Please? I need you." I pleaded with her to understand. She just fucking had to understand. Then, because she's mine, she pushed me into my room and shut the door behind her. I needed her; and I would have her.

**BPOV**

My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it beating in my ears. "I need you too Edward."

He smiled as I closed the distance between us and looked up at him. His lips brushed mine teasingly once, then again. The third time mine latched onto his bottom lip and sucked softly, sufficiently keeping him from pulling away. My arms slid up his body and around his neck. I clasped my fingers behind him and pulled his face closer to mine. His hands slid up from my hips to my waist and around my body lifting me easily as we made the short move to his bed. He laid me down in the middle of the mattress and hovered above me, not tearing his lips away.

I finally leaned my head back, gulping down air and looked up at him. "You're perfect, you know that?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Hardly."

My lips moved to kiss the side of his mouth and down his jaw line. "Yeah, pretty sure you are," I whispered as I continued my trail of delicate kisses down the path of his neck. As I explored with my lips, he supported his right hand rubbed up and down my side while he kept his his body slightly above mine with his left forearm.

He pulled his torso up, leaving me to kiss air. Well, boo. I scrunched up my face, displeased as I saw him sit up on his heels.

"We should get ready for bed, I think."

I nodded and peeled off my sweater, leaving a flimsy navy spaghetti strapped tank on. Thank god for layering. I bit my lip contemplating my options for a bottom and decided to take the risk at getting laughed at. I fumbled out of bed as Edward turned away from me, dropping down to only his boxers. My hands shoved my jeans down quickly. Well wasn't my subconscious an eager beaver? Edward turned to face me and his lips immediately parted.

"Bella I have control, but I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to lay in bed with you only wearing _that_."

I bit my lip and shook my head. "I think you have more control than you give yourself credit for."

"No, I really don't." He scoffed running a hand through his hair and giving me the twice-over look. "Yeah, no. I don't."

"This isn't too bad; a t-shirt and underwear. You sleep in less than that and I have to endure it."

"Yeah, but seeing me in this," he say waiving his hands down at his shirtless boxer-clad body, "doesn't have the same effect on you, that me seeing you in _that_ has on me."

I tried to stop the blush that I felt spread over my cheeks, but it was no use. "Well it's either this or I go into my room to change."

"No, don't leave. Um... you can wear a pair of my pj pants."

"You actually _own_ a pair of those?"

His eyebrows crossed and he tilted his head. "Yeah, of course."

"But you never sleep in them."

"I keep them around for when I'm sick or vacations where I have to share a room with my parents," he replied digging through his dresser and tossing me a pair of gray plaid flannel pants.

I slid them on without argument and rolled them up at the waist until they sat comfortably on my hips. As I'd been resizing the pants, Edward had pulled down the covers and slid into bed. He patted the empty side of the bed and I moved to lay down so I could face him. His left arm found my body immediately and dragged me across the sheets closer to him.

My good leg hitched over his hip and he pulled me closer still, kissing my lips roughly. I moaned at contact and slid my arms back to their usual spot so that I could tug at his hair. My tongue hesitantly brushed against his lips and his mouth opened inviting me in. I moaned again, and this time his responded with a groan of his own. His fingers that were splayed over my hip crept their way upward and under my shirt just above my hemline. My body's reaction was to push my hips closer to his and he moaned again as they swept across his boxers. I pushed my lips against his harder and his head moved backwards, separating our lips.

"Bella, I can't believe I'm saying this," he panted. "But we have to slow down. It's barely been a week, we can't rush this. I don't want to fuck it up."

"We won't fuck it up, and we won't rush." I assured him, raking my fingers through his hair. "I just want this to be okay. This is okay, right?"

I heard him exhale slowly. "Yeah Bella," he said pulling me back to him. "This is more than okay."

His lips found mine again and I melted into him.

He wasn't just Edward anymore, he wasn't even just Edward-the-amazing-kisser. He was _my_ Edward. _Mine_.

**EPOV**

I decided that I couldn't wait until Monday to break up with Tanya. I called her Saturday afternoon and picked her up. She was chatting about everything and anything, and it felt like she completely missed the fact that I was incredibly unhappy whenever I was around her. It was as though she didn't care who she was speaking to, or whether or not they were listening. Just that they were there. I sighed and turned off into the nearest parking lot. I know, I know. It's lame, but honestly I didn't really find it necessary to take her somewhere more break-up worthy. What the hell was the point? We'd been together for all of twenty minutes.

"Why are we here?" She asked, her eyes squinting, and her top lip pulling up ever so slightly as she crinkled her nose. She wasn't so pretty from this angle.

"Tanya, I have to tell you something."

She turned to me, "What's that, love?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "This... this isn't working out. You and Me."

Her head jerked suddenly in disbelief, and I knew that it would take a little longer to get my point across than I had anticipated. "Excuse me?"

"I don't think we should continue seeing each other. I'm just not feeling it."

"Oh," she said as she folded her arms across her chest. "And what makes you think that?"

I cocked an eyebrow at her, "What makes me think I don't want you? Uh, maybe it's because I DO NOT WANT YOU??"

She shrugged and looked out the window. "You don't really think that."

"Oh? I don't?"

"Of course not. You're just afraid that you aren't good enough for me since you grew up in this back water town. It's understandable. Don't worry about it love."

I rolled my eyes, and heaved an exasperated sigh. "Forks is not a back water town. Sure it's not huge, but that hardly makes it the middle of nowhere. And second of all, did you ever stop and think that maybe you don't deserve me? You're kind of a bitch to everybody. No one likes you, did you know that?"

"Jessica Stanley." She replied defiantly.

"Oh, yeah. Fuck me flat Stanley. Great friend."

"At least she's popular!"

I laughed again, and put the volvo in gear. "She popular because she puts out. And trust, anyone who's anyone steers clear of her. She's bad news."

"YOU fucked her!"

"Wrong. She wanted me to, but I didn't. Stanley has propositioned me and my friends since she hit puberty. Rumor has it she lost it to the foreign kitchen boy a school."

"Well, I heard that you fuck anything with a skirt. You've probably been fucking--" She gasped, and I got nervous. "You're fucking the crippled psychopath."

I groaned as I turned onto her street, "How many times do I have to tell you that there's nothing going on between Bella and I? We're barely friends."

"Easy access." She said, matter-of-factly.

"No. Bella... she's the fucking Queen of the Shrew People and a well known prude." She snickered. "What?"

"Well, she didn't look like such a prude when I saw her making out with Mike Newton last night."

Fuck.

No.

This... this couldn't be happening. "What?"

"Well, after you dropped me off last night, I went back into Port Angeles and I saw the two of them going at it in the car. She had her top off, too."

Tanya giggled again, and I felt like I was going to puke all over her. Thankfully, she just got out of the fucking car. "It's okay, Edward, I understand. Call me when you figure your shit out."

With a wink and a couple of hip swings, she was gone. As I drove back home, a million different things went through my head. What if what she had said was true? What if Bella and Newton... what if she lied under the stairwell? What if they were still together... what if she'd been stringing me along?

Fuck.

I pulled into my drive way, and immediately went up to my room. I didn't need shit from anybody right now, and I really just wanted to be alone. I heard Smith clawing at the outside of my door, but I didn't want to risk him letting in someone else so i just turned over and tried to fall asleep. I had just closed my eyes when I heard my door creak open, and felt Smith settle him self next to my chest. I put my arms around him, at the exact moment I felt Bella put hers around me.

"What's wrong?" She asked her cheek pressed into my back as her hands wandered over my stomach.

"Nothing."

'Edward--"

"Just leave me alone, okay? I don't want to talk about it."

"So it's something."

I sighed, knowing she'd caught me. "Bella, just leave it."

"No."

"What do you mean _no?"_

"Exactly what I just said. What the fuck is wrong?"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Bella, did you make out with Newton yesterday?"

Her hands never stopped moving. "He kissed me once, but I don't think that counts as making out."

"Are you sure?"

"Umm, I was there, remember?"

I sighed and rolled over toward her. "Tanya said she saw you with him last night and it looked like more than a quick peck."

Her eyes went impossibly dark as she looked at me. "And you'd rather believe that _skank _than me? Edward, really."

"It's not that, Bella, but how do I know we're on the same page? How do I know you said you'd broken up with Newton, only to get me to do the same?"

Her hand came up to cup my cheek, and her thumb started moving. "Because I wouldn't do that to you. I couldn't do that to you, okay? I promise Newton and I are finished."

I sighed and leaned my forehead to hers, "I just... I hate this. I know I've said this before, but I don't want to hide. Bella, I can't... maybe I'm not cut out for this..."

"You are!" she yelled, her eyes softening and tears threatening to spill. "Please, Edward, please. We only just started. We can do this. Only a bit longer. Please."

"Bella, it... it might not be worth it... it could fuck everything up."

"It won't." She was crying now, "It won't. We'll be so much better. Don't... Edward, please... we can't be apart."

I sighed and kissed her softly. "I know. I know. It... hurts. So fucking much."

She pushed her face back into mine, and I felt her planting kisses on the side of my neck."I know... but we're hurting together. I hate it when I see girls give you The Look, and I hate it that you're so good at practically everything, and I hate it that Tanya gets to hold your hand at school in front of everybody. I hate that, and it burns. It makes my heart hurt to think of you with anybody else."

I let out a ragged breath and kissed her temple. "Me too. I hate that we can't be like everybody else. It fucking sucks, baby."

"I know," she said, snuggling in to me. "But I'm here and I'm with you. Isn't that enough?"

I pulled her tighter to my chest just as the first rumbles of thunder rolled through. "Enough... for now."

**BPOV**

I didn't sleep in my own bed that night, or the night after. Edward and I had come to the conclusion that sleeping together was far better than not sleeping together, even after calculating the risk. Edward had pointed out that his parents seemed to hover over me less since Edward had begun taking such diligent care of me, which lead us to believe that they weren't checking up on me in the middle of the night anymore.

My fingers traced patterns on the back of Edward's neck as we kissed slowly and lazily early Monday morning. We had gotten into the habit of taking a few minutes -and by few I mean almost half an hour - to properly wake each other up, usually with light kisses and touches.

Each time he pressed any part of his bare skin against mine it was like an instant adrenaline rush and all I wanted to do was take it a step further. It surprised me when I really thought about how often I considered ripping his boxers off and going to town; it was at least 5 times a day, not including moments like this when he was actually touching and kissing me. Edward had turned me into a perv - I hadn't known that being a pervert was contagious, but he had proven it was.

His hands slid under my tank top, along my waist and stomach as I moaned into his mouth. My heart was racing as I contemplated taking it a bit further, after all we did have 35 minutes before our alarm would go off.

I pulled my lips apart from his and he immediately began kissing my chin and down the front of my neck.

"Edward, no, wait a sec," I whispered scooting back from him on the bed. He cocked his head to the side. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just..." I felt the heat rising to my cheeks. "I just want to try something."

He blinked and nodded. "Okay, like what?"

It was now or never. My heart was thumping so loud I momentarily wondered if it was making my chest bounce. I reached down and grabbed the hem of my shirt lifting it up and over my head, tossing it behind me. Edward's eyes widened and I bit my lip nervously.

"Edward, say something. You're not saying anything..."

He gulped audibly and ran a hand through his hair. "You really are trying to kill me, aren't you?"

"What? Do you... am I...?" Did he not like what he was seeing? Was I blinding him with how pale my body was?

His face softened and he slid closer to me, hovering half his body over my own. "Shh Bella, you're beautiful. You're amazing." He whispered lowering his face and brushing his lips lightly over mine.

I smiled under the kiss and rolled to the side, forcing him to do the same. I pressed my body against his and we both moaned at the new sensation. One of his hands wound around my neck and pushed my mouth harder against his own while the other ran up and down the side of my body from my hips up to the side of my breast, never actually touching it. My arms wove around his neck and my fingers tangled in his hair as I teased his lips with my tongue. His mouth parted slightly as he sucked on my tongue softly. My left leg moved to rest on his hip and he pushed my body even closer. He grunted into my mouth as my lower half came into contact with his. He nipped at my lips and hesitantly pulled away.

"Bella." He breathed looking at me with hooded eyes.

I didn't wait for him to continue as I pressed my lips against his firmly. We only had a few minutes left before we had to pretend that this, that we, didn't exist. I didn't want to waste a minute of it.

His mouth responded to my unspoken plea as he kissed back. His hand moved to my stomach and slowly inched it's way up as his lips made the descent down my cheek and jaw to my neck. His hand cupped my breast and I moaned at the contact. His lips trailed down my neck leaving wet kisses in their wake. He pinched my nipple and moaned as his name passed my lips in a breathy whisper. I moved my hips against his and he bit my shoulder as he pushed back against mine.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The alarm pelted our eardrums and he buried his face in my neck and huffed. I rolled onto my back and blindly felt for the alarm, shutting it off. Edward rolled onto his back as well, laying his forearm across his eyes as his chest heaved up and down. My eyes scanned down his body and I bit my lip to hide the smirk when I noticed the tent in his boxers. I did that, me. I made Edward hard. For some reason, I felt a sense of pride that I could make the man who got more ass in this town than a Seattle prostitute, excited.

"Can you please put a shirt on? Otherwise, I won't be responsible if I attack you like that again and make us late for school." He asked, still not removing his arm from his eyes.

"Oh please, it wasn't that bad. Plus, I attacked _you_ - technically," I responded jokingly as I rolled over and fished for the nearest shirt, which was one of Edward's white t's.

"Okay you can look; I'm fully clothed."

He opened his eyes and rolled them as he took in my appearance.

"What now? This is a shirt, a baggy one no less."

"Yea, but that's _mine_."

"... so?"

"So you look beautiful in it and it's kinda hot to see my girl wearing my clothes."

The size of the smile that spread over my face had to have been the size of Jupiter. "Your girl, huh?"

His face fell a little and he looked over at me. "Bella, I didn't mean--"

I placed a finger over his lips and shook my head. "No, no take backs."

His hand reached up and pulled my finger away, kissing my palm before setting my hand on his chest. "So you wanna be my girl, huh?" He asked smirking.

I blushed. I thought this had been covered ages ago. "Well, it doesn't really matter, because you're mine anyway."

"I'm yours?" He asked raising an eyebrow, the shit-eating grin not leaving his lips.

"Well duh Edward. Try and keep up okay?"

"So let me get this straight," he said sitting up and pulling me onto his lap so I was straddling him. "I'm yours, and your mine."

I nodded. "For as long as you want me."

"Hm, and what if I want you for awhile?"

"Then I'll be here. I'm yours Edward, no pretense, no conditions, no expiration date... just here and just yours."

----------------------------------------

We pulled into the parking lot with five minutes to spare. Edward ran around to my door and opened it before I had a chance to stop him. I saw Alice and Emmett walking towards us and waiving as Edward reached behind my seat to grab our bags.

"Hey guys!" I said cheerfully as they approached Edward's car.

"Someone's in a good mood. Did someone get it stuck to them this weekend?" Emmett chided.

"Actually yes. Newton got it 'stuck to him' as you put it, when we broke up Friday night."

"What? You dumped him after you guys fucked? That's cold Bella," he joked.

"Ew god no. I barely kissed him and even that was slimy and creepy and ew..." I shook my head violently, trying to get the mental picture out of my head.

"What about you Ed, you get any happy fun time this weekend?"

Edward looked up from where he was flipping through his backpack. "What? Not that it's any of your business, but no. I ended things with Tanya."

I saw Alice's eyes dart from Edward to me and back before turning to look at me pointedly with eyebrows raised. I shrugged. Yeah, maybe we should have timed the break ups a bit better.

"Lame, so both of you dumped your significant others, why? To keep the peace for the sake of Smith?"

"Have you _met_ Tanya and Mike, Em?" Alice said turning to face him. "They're six kinds of disgusting. Maybe they dated them to work off community service hours."

Edward let out a muffled laugh as he zipped up his bag. "You ready?" he asked peering over at me with both bags slung over his shoulders.

"Man, you don't need to be her personal crutch. Let one of us help Bella out."

Baby steps. Baby steps. Bigger baby steps.

I wrapped my arms around Edward's neck and looked up at him. "No, I think Edward's got me." I said to Emmett without looking in his direction.

"Yeah, I got her. She likes being carried anyway - getting too used to it at home." Edward added, lifting me up.

Emmett gave us both a surprised look and shook his head. "Whatever guys, just offering my service in case you want it."

"Noted and appreciated," I said as the four of us began walking towards the front doors, Emmett and Alice ahead of us.

Edward stopped for a second to reposition me in his arms. I felt his lips place a soft kiss on my neck and behind my ear as he whispered "_mine_."

**EPOV**

I never hated school more than when I'd started, erm, seeing Bella. I hated the regimented srtictness of changing classes, and the fact that _she_ was on the other side of the fucking building, potentially getting groped by whoeverthefuck finally realized how beautiful she was. Fuck knows it took me a long ass time. I'd watch the clock intently, waiting for the moment when I could sprint to lunch and wait for her like the shit head that I was. But then again, her reaction to me was completely dependent on what happened to her in the time we were apart. I could leave her after bio, laughing and smiling, only to find her completely despondent and moody by the afternoon. I hated those times because they seemed only to reinforce the fact that she didn't really want me or this. But the days she wanted me? Fuck, did she want me.

And thank fucking God today was one of those days.

She hobbled over with Jasper, his arm looped around her waist and I could feel her staring at me. I didn't look up from where I was sitting with Alice, though. If I had, there'd be no concealing the huge smile that would no doubt give all my shit away. Jasper plopped her down next to me, and I looked at her over my shoulder, nudging her sandwich over to her.

"Oh, thanks." She replied meekly. I tone of her voice caught me off guard, and my mind instantly thought the worst. She'd tripped or hit her leg or some shit, and she was hurt. But just as I was about to turn to her, I felt that warm little hand slide up my thigh. Why, oh why, did we have to eat lunch in public? I mentally calculated how many people would be offended if I fucked Bella on this table. 173 1/2. Let's face it; Em would pretend to be shocked, but he'd secretly enjoy it. It'd be like one of those National Geographic specials.

Wait.

No.

I take that back.

Okay, no, maybe I don't.

But anyway, The whole slowly teasing me think was making me hard, and it would be rediculously awkward for me to try and walk out of here with wood. I grabbed her hand on it's latest assent, and gave it a squeeze before replacing it to her lap. After that, all I got were elbow brushes as she talked with her friends and Em tried to tell me that not all steroids were illegal.

"Em, C'mon. You're huge as it is," Jasper said, oblivious to his innuendo, "You don't need that shit."

"It's not for me, idiot. For the weaklings... like... like..."

"Like the little freshman?" Ben said, too busy putting together his lab report than actually listening to Em's insights.

"Yeah!" Em was practically bouncing in his seat, "Those are the kids we gotta watch out for."

"Em, really I--" My sentence was cut off abruptly when Bella let out a hiss of pain.

"What's wrong?" Em called across the table and standing up to go to her. I tried to stop laughing. My girl's a shitty liar.

Her face twisted up as she looked at him. "Oh, I don't know... It's just my... my ribs... I broke a few you know."

"You bruised them," I corrected. She shot daggers at me with her eyes.

"Edward, now's not the time to be making snide comments." Alice scolded, hitting my arm. I rubbed it and pretended to be injured.

"Fuck, Alice! That shit hurt! I was only teasing her." I kept rubbing my arm, trying to play it up a bit.

"Cullen, you're fine." Em replied nonchalantly as he lifted Bella into his arms.

"Yeah, tell me that when I can't pitch this spring." I shot Alice a dirty look, and much to my surprise, she look apologetic.

"Edward, I'm sorry... I didn't think I hit you that hard."

I sighed and cut the crap. But I didn't have the heart to tell her I was lying. "It's okay, Alice. It barely even hurts anymore."

"You sure?" She asked as the bell rang and we stood up.

"I'm sure. I'll catch you later, okay?"

I walked quickly and surely down the hallways toward the nurse's office, trying to see if I saw Emmett. Then, just as the late bell rang, I was ambushed. I felt her hand fist my shirt and she pulled me into a broom closet. Before I even had a chance to make sure I had the right girl, her lips were over mine and her arms were wrapped around my neck. Bella. It wasn't anybody but Bella. I smiled against her lips as I pushed her up against the utility sink.

"Lift me." She whispered, panting a little against my skin. I lifted her effortlessly so that her ass was perched on the edge and her legs wrapped tightly around my waist. Caste or no caste, she was getting what she wanted. And fuck me if I didn't want it, too. Her hand went up to my hair and she pulled against it, making me moan, which in turn made her want more. I tried to pull her as close as I could, and somehow, I found my hips moving in time against hers. It felt so fucking good; like all of my life was just leading up to this moment. That I was meant to be with her; meant to do _this_ with her. Without tearing my lips from hers, I tucked her hips tighter into mine, and let my fingers begin to dip under her shirt and trace patterns across her skin.

"How's the rib?" I teased.

She laughed into my mouth, "Better." She shifted her hips against my hard on. "Seems like you're... out of line, though."

I smirked against her lips and moved down her throat as my fingers danced their way up to her tits. I brushed the top lightly, just above the cup of her bra, and I felt her shiver a little. I went in for it then and grabbed onto them as she released a small moan, and tossed her head back. Fuck the fact that we were in a broom closet. I wanted her now. I pushed up her shirt, and planted a few kisses along the already exposed cleavage as I pulled down the cups. My hands shot up to cover them again, and I started in on one nipple with my mouth and kept a similar rhythm on the other with my hand. I switched after a little while, and when she started to tremble beneath me, I decided Mission: Accomplished, and kissed my way back up to those perfect, full lips. She crashed into me hard, and quickly enough, her tongue was in my mouth, and I got lost in her. That always seemed to happen to me when Bella was kissing me. I would've forgotten my fucking name if she hadn't moaned it all the fucking time. Soon enough I felt her finger nails scraping against my stomach as she worked her way down to my jeans. I caught her wrist just as she was pulling down my zipper.

"Bella, wait..." I panted. If I was going to stop this, it had to be now. I didn't trust myself to go any farther.

"No, Edward, It's fine. I'm on the pill we're good, just--" She'd started to inch it down lower, so I had to pull her hand away.

"Baby, It's not that. I just--"

"Oh," She said softly, pulling away. "I'm sorry. I guess, I just thought that... I mean, I only assumed that--"

"Bella, stop. I want you. Do feel this?" I grabbed her hand and put it over my hard on. Fuck that felt good. "Baby, trust me. I want you. If I could I would fuck you so hard, there wouldn't be any reason for us to come back to school because we wouldn't have time. We'd be too busy fucking."

Her eyes were wide but I noticed that she hadn't taken the time to move her hand from my cock. "Baby, All I want to do it bend you over this mangy fucking sink and pound into your wet, tight pussy with my hard cock. Baby, I want that. I _need_ that. But, I can't... it can't be like that."

I dropped my head to her shoulder, my breath coming out in hot bursts. She still hadn't moved her fucking hand, though, and it was driving me crazy.

"I'm sorry." She said again. I tilted my head and kissed the side of her neck.

"For what, baby?"

"For... making you have to wait. On me. For me. Because I'm a... virgin."

I lifted my head to look at her, suppressing a groan when the hand that was still on me shifted and squeezed a bit. "What do you mean?"

She blushed a bit, and pulled that fucking lip into her mouth. Then she spoke, with one hand still on my cock. Christ, she was going to kill me. " Well, if I wasn't you'd probably be able to do all those things and... I'm... well, I'm less _experienced _here, so--"

_"_Bella, I have to tell you something." My voice was too husky for this shit, and if she wanted me to keep my composure she'd have to remove her fucking hand from my junk. But fuck me, it felt so fucking good. "Bella, I am still a card carrying member of the V-club."

She took in a huge gasp of air, "You're what?"

_"_A virgin. Inexperienced. Innocent. Un-bastardized. Clean."

_"_NO!" She said squeezing my cock again. Fuck.

"Uh, yeah. But baby? If you want it to stay that way, you gotta move your hand."

She looked down, and her mouth pulled up into a tight little O. The things I could do with those lips, just like that... NO. Fuck. She quickly retracted her hand, and smiled brightly at me.

"And all this time... I thought you were a slut."

I laughed a bit, and kissed her forehead. "And all this time, you were wrong."

She wrapped her arms around me again, and we sat there for a little while longer and I got everything under control.

"Thanks for... um, stopping us." She said, searching my eyes.

"There's nothing to thank me for, baby. You deserve better than a broom closet."

"Well, so do you."

"I just can't wait until I get to be in you--"

"With a rubber." She added. I looked at her, confused. "I thought you said you were on the pill."

She smirked, and pulled me back into her, "I lied. I just really, really wanted to fuck you."

"Bella, do you realize what could've happened?"

"Yeah, which is why I'm incredibly glad you stopped us."

She smiled at me again, and fuck me dry but I just couldn't stay mad at her. It was fucking impossible. I kissed her again, and helped her off of the sink and adjusted her clothes.

"Ready?" I asked as I took her hand.

"Ready," She replied smiling up at me.

I opened the door and headed down the empty hallway with my girl, hand in hand to go see our boy.

And fuck me if I needed anything else.

**BPOV**

The next couple of weeks flew by. Edward and I had managed to make out in every unlocked closet -and some locked ones thanks to Edward's handiwork with doors - in the school. We hadn't explored anywhere beyond the waist but the temptation was always there, and he was always there to stop us. I was beginning to think he didn't _want_ to. But of course he was always there to reassure me, which was great and all but I was getting restless. I needed to feel more of him, I was ready. Hell I was fucking _Queen of the Shrews_ for god sakes! If I wanted to fuck Edward Cullen should be able to. But I didn't, because he would stop us. I had fall back into the habit of sleeping in my own room most nights just so I could _take care of business_. I always wound up crawling back into bed with him after I tossed and turned for a good hour or two. I couldn't sleep without him anymore. Most of the time he'd still be awake either reading or on his laptop, but sometimes he'd be totally conked out and I'd spent time just laying there, brushing his hair out of his face watching him sleep. I never understood how people could do this and not get bored, until now. It had been over a month since we started to fool around, but it felt much longer. It wasn't hard to think of a time where we didn't get along, when this wasn't our relationship; but it was getting harder and harder to remember how I stayed so angry with him for so long.

We were scheduled to leave the Tuesday before Thanksgiving which meant we got to skip school with Esme and Carlisle's blessing. They were letting us skip Monday, too, as a "present" and basically so we could run around town getting last minute shit we had forgotten to ask them to pick up beforehand.

"You know, I was thinking..." I began as Edward placed his morning kisses down my neck early that Monday.

"Hm?" He murmured into my skin.

I nudged him off me and sat up, crawling off the bed.

"You were thinking you weren't going to let me give you a proper good morning?" He asked sitting up against his bed frame.

My arms moved to the bottom of my t-shirt and it up over my head. "No, actually. I was thinking that we're going to Hawaii and you're going to see me in a 2-piece."

"Mhm. I've been thinking about that since the minute my mom said 'Hawaii'." He retorted, folding his arms behind his head.

"_Well_ smartass. You seem to have issues with me and no pants, so I think we should work on that." I said, dropping my pants and scooting back on the bed, straddling him. Note to self: ballsy Bella is at her best in the early a.m.

His mouth hung open as he took in the sight of me only in a pair of underwear.

"Bella, um. Last I checked, 2-pieces had one piece on the top." He choked out.

"I know," I breathed over his lips before placing a kiss on the side of his mouth. "I just thought it'd be more fun _this_ way," I purred into his ear.

**EPOV**

She was definitely trying to kill me.

But I was loving every fucking minute of it. I looked into her brown eyes, and couldn't help but feel the lust that was emanating from her. That shit was fucking contagious. I leaned in and kissed her lips hungrily, getting a good grip on her hips. She arched up into me, wrapping her arms around my neck and pushing her bare tits into my chest. That was probably one of the best feelings in the entire world. I groaned into her lips and pushed her back down so that my weight was hovering above her. I pulled back to take her in, and I'm pretty sure that there has never been a more perfect creature than Isabella Swan. As I leaned in and started nipping my way down her neck, I remembered that I'd once felt like Bella was a blemish on my otherwise perfect life. But I couldn't have been more wrong. Bella was like... a birthmark. She'd been there, all the time, and when I went through my angry adolescent phase I hated it because it made me self-conscious. My feelings for Bella had made me feel... weaker, I suppose. It only just occurred to me that I'd always felt this way for her, I just acted like I hated her to cover it up. But now, that I was (somewhat) older and wiser, I realized that that Birthmark... that minor imperfection made me who I was. It was a part of me that I couldn't ever-- no matter how hard I tried-- hide or cover up or deny. I was a better man for having touched Bella Swan, for having her kisses and... I suppose, her love.

There was no doubt in my mind that I was falling for her. I'd never felt anything like this before, and instead of freaking me out it made me want more. And at this precise moment, I really wanted to fuck her senseless.

I kept my lips moving south, taking my time with each breast and then trailing down to her stomach and hips as she began to writhe underneath me. I slapped one arm over her hips to steady her, and she moaned. I smirked against her skin, and kissed along the band of her underwear.

"Edward..." She moaned, breathlessly.

"Yeah, baby?"

"P-Please?"

I laughed a little and pulled back a little to assess the situation. She was fucking soaked. Yeah, that made me feel pretty fucking awesome. I leaned back down and kissed the top of her mound through her underwear, then pulling away and blowing on it. She gasped and tried to move, but she couldn't, thanks to my arm. Pleased with her reaction, I leaned in again and traced a line over her covered pussy with my nose, inhaling her scent.

"God, Bella.... baby... I need to fuck you. I'm so fucking hard right now--"

"DO IT!" She screeched, her hands darting down to my scalp, "PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD FUCK ME!"

I closed my eyes, and planted kisses over the cotton. "Baby... did you get the pill yet?"

"NO!"

It's funny, even when she's trying to make me get her off, she tells the truth. I sighed into her slit, and lifted my self back up so that I was hovering above her.

"Too bad, baby, that would've been fun." I kissed her stunned lips quickly, then hopped off the bed.

"Edward... I.... wha--"

"Baby, I'm not sticking my baby making machine anywhere near your incubator until you're on the pill. The End."

She gaped at me and I dropped my shorts before heading into the bathroom. "I'm taking a shower."

I walked into the bathroom, and turned on the water. Then I laughed to myself as I heard her let out a frustrated sigh.

"EDWARD CULLEN YOU'RE SUCH A TEASE."

I laughed to myself and stepped under the spray.

I'd only be a tease if I didn't plan on following through.

**BPOV**

Had he _never_ heard of condoms? Ugh. I sat up on my elbows and looked down at my body which still felt tingly from where his hands and lips had been. No matter how much he said otherwise, his actions spoke louder. He didn't want me like I wanted him. And I was tired of throwing myself at him only to be rejected.

I sighed loudly and climbed out of bed, walking across the hall in only my underwear, knowing that Esme and Carlisle had left for work.

"SMITH!" I hollered from my doorway. The cutest puppy to ever have lived came running from Edward's room and into mine.

My face softened at the mere sight of him and for the first time in what felt like ages, I closed my door and locked it.

I needed time to think. To really figure it out. To reassure myself that I was _not_ falling in love with Edward. Because if he was rejecting my body there was no doubt in my mind he would reject my heart.

I threw on a hoodie and a pair of sweat pants before crawling into bed where Smith was waiting in the middle of the mattress. I crawled under the covers and buried my face in my pillow, wincing at the smell; it wasn't Edward's eucalyptus-minty scent. Instead it smelled like my stupid strawberry shampoo.

Smith looked up at me with wide eyes and curled up against my side. I ruffled the top of his head and sighed.

"What am I gonna do Mr. Smith? I think it might be too late; I think I'm already falling in love."

**EPOV**

Her door was locked. I heard it click over from the bathroom.

Fuck.

Okay, Fine. Shoulder it is. I busted in the door again, and because I'm an idiot who doesn't believe in clothes, my towel fell by the wayside in the process. Fuck it. Smith's head popped up from where Bella was curled around him. I held one finger up to my lips, then motioned for him to come to me.

"C'mon, little man. Daddy's gotta wake up your Mama. Again."

He pranced out the door and I shut it behind him. Lock or no lock, he didn't need to witness this. I smirked to myself as I crawled onto bed with her, and wrapped my arms around her. Okay, what the fuck happened to her tits? And her cooch? What the fuck was with all this material? I furrowed my brow and began moving my hands across her, trying to find even a sliver of skin. But I couldn't. She was wrapped up tighter than Jasper's dick in Em's ass. Yeah, that's right; I went there. Anyway, I decided to try yet another tactic.

"Bella?" I whispered softly, pressing a kiss to the skin just under her ear. She shifted a little against me, but didn't wake up. Fuck, my girl's a heavy sleeper. No worries; it'll just make my job more fun. I pulled down on her shoulder, and rolled her onto her back. I shifted my weight so that I was kneeling in front of her and lifted her up to my chest. I let myself hold her sleeping form for a minute, just taking in how much I... loved being with this girl. It was insane to think that she could even feel one-eighth of what I was, but I'd take it. Honestly, I'd take whatever she gave me. But right now wasn't about me. It was about me giving Bella what she wanted. And fuck me if I couldn't deliver. I rested her head against my shoulder and slipped my hands down her sides to grab the hem of her top and pull it over her head. I put her back down, and she still hadn't even twitched. God, maybe this was going to be harder than I thought. I sighed and looked down at her, sleeping soundly, her brow furrowed and her mouth pinched together in a tight pucker. I smiled and hummed a little to myself before gently leaning back over her, resting my weight on my forearms beside her head. I started at her forehead, planting feather light kisses all the way down her body, just as I had before, until I got to the waste band of her pants. I repositioned myself, and used one finger to trace the line of skin there, then pull them down little by little. The closer and closer I got to her mound, the more she started to twitch underneath me, until finally she gasped. She was awake.

"Edward... wh-what are you doing?" She asked, her voice was thick with sleep and I had to remind myself of the task at hand. I supported my weight on my elbows and let my fingers dance across the skin that was stretched over her hips.

"Baby do you know what I like most about your hips?"

She snorted, "Nothing."

I raised an eyebrow and leaned down so that my lips were ghosting over her, "No. It's like these hips were specifically designed to point me in exactly the right direction." With one hand I pushed down her pants a little bit more, and let the other run across the flat skin of her lower abdomen, taking notice of the path of electric current that was running between us.

I leaned back down and kissed the trail, edging her pants down further and further. Finally, I was as low as I could go without asking her.

"Baby, I want you. I want to give this to you. Let me?" I looked up at her with pleading eyes, and for a second she looked close to tears, but she nodded. That got me all kinds of confused. I looked up at her, starting to pull away, but she closed her eyes and ran a hand lazily through my hair and pushing it off of my forehead. I shook it off momentarily, and turned back to her. I slipped my fingers under the elastic and pulled down her underwear and pants. Fuck me if she wasn't perfect.

I hovered over her, openly gaping at the now naked woman underneath me. She was like... ideal. I wanted her,and only her, and no one else would ever come close. No one. Not for as long as I lived. Just Bella. And thank fucking God she was mine.

"Edward..." She called, and when my eyes snapped up to hers all I saw was... hurt. But what the fuck could have possibly happened since I got in the shower? "Do something. Please."

I cock my head to the side, and looked at her, trying to decide how to approach this. I didn't want her to be sad. Sad was not on my agenda. I leaned back over her, and kissed a trail up and down each of her thighs, skipping over her shit on purpose. She started moving, then, putting her shit closer and closer to my face. I smiled into her, and kissed her right over her core. She gasped. Epic win. I put my hand over her core and, as I kissed my way back up her body, I let my fingers dive into her folds until I found her clit. I pushed down against it just as I reached her lips.

"Baby, I want you. Don't ever doubt that. You're mine. Always."

She opened her mouth to speak, but I pressed my lips insistently to hers as I slipped one finger into her. She bucked down against my hand, and moaned into my mouth. Carefully, I added another and holy hell was she tight. I didn't move my mouth from hers as I slowly started to move my fingers inside of her, curling them as I went. I caught each moan that escaped her lips with my own, and soon enough I was pushing my tongue in between her lips, mimicking the movement of my fingers. I picked up the pace and popped in another finger as she started to buck against my hand, and on one down swipe, I hit it. My fingers had found _that_ spot. She arched her back off of the bed and her hands, which were braced against my wrists, shot up to my back, and she started clinging to me, effectively removing my mouth from hers.

"Edward... fuck..." she panted. I slipped my other arm over her shoulder and pressed it into her back. I could tell she was close, and call me selfish but I wanted to be as close to her as I possibly could when it happened. She moaned into my shoulder and I kissed her neck as I picked up my pace again,and my thumb rediscovered her clit. I pressed down into it and pushed my fingers harder, grabbing at that spot and hitting it almost every time. Soon enough, she was gasping into my skin and I could feel her chest moving rapidly against mine.

"Baby?" Fuck. My voice sounded deep and throaty, even to me. "Baby, I want you to cum for me, okay? Please baby, will you cum for me?"

"I... I... ungggg... FUCK EDWARD!"

There is nothing sexier than my girl screaming my name as she comes. Nothing. Not any of that other shit that I thought was hot as hell before. THIS. This. Just fucking... this. I kept thrusting my fingers into her as her walls clenched and spasmed around me, letting her ride out her orgasm. Slowly, I pulled out my fingers, and she twitched a little bit. I checked her out to make sure everything was okay down there, before I looked back up at her. She was panting, with one hand thrown over her chest and her eyes shut tight. I leaned over her, "Baby, what's wrong?"

**BPOV**

My mind was reeling. From the orgasm. From my earlier realization. From Edward as a fucking whole. I exhaled slowly and opened my eyes only to be faced with his. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to fucking admit out loud to fucking _someone_ that I was falling in love with the guy staring at me. But I swallowed down my confession and moved my arm so that my hand was cupping his jaw. "Nothing, just a bit overwhelmed right now." Well, that was as close as I could get to the truth, I supposed.

His forehead creased. "You sure baby? You look upset."

Edward would hurt me. I still had to practically beg him to touch me when he was staring at my _naked_ body. If that wasn't as pathetic as it got, I didn't know what was. It was obvious to me that he was nowhere near how I felt for him. I mean, _lust_ would even be pushing it with the way I'd had to beg him today, and yesterday... and every day since we'd started this whole thing. He would definitely crush me if he knew I was falling in love with him.

I shook my head. "I think you may have been right."

"About what?" He asked planting gentle kisses down my neck.

"About this being too much. About us..."

I heard his breath catch and felt his body stiffen.

"What?"

"Edward I know this is incredibly cliche, especially since I'm a female and considering what just happened," I spit out quickly. "But I'm falling for you; like harder and faster than I thought. And it fucking sucks because I'm pretty sure you don't feel the same which is perfectly fine. But I think that maybe you were right and that maybe we're not cut out for this, like this because _fuck_ I'm rambling but I don't care because I need to get this out so I stop replaying the same fears and worries in my head over and over again..." I said in a single, long drawn out breath.

"What?" He asked again, lifting his head to look at me.

"Edward, I'm falling in love with you."

**EPOV**

She's... she's falling for me.

Bella's falling for me.

She wants me.

I want her.

I'm falling for her.

I'm... I'm already fucking there.

I dipped my forehead to hers, and I felt her breath coming out in short bursts. "Do you mean it?"

She took in a sharp breath and I held mine. "Y-yes."

I closed my eyes. I really wanted it to be true. I really wanted for her to be honest with me, and tell me that she wasn't dicking me around. I couldn't put my heart on the line unless hers was right next to it. "Baby, please..."

"What, Edward? What?" She pushed me off and sat up tucking the sheet around her. "What do you want me to say? That I'm not? That this is all fake? Yeah, okay, fine. Fine. Whatever. It doesn't mean jack shit to me. It doesn't matter that every time you look at me, I just want to hold your hand and touch you and kiss you. And no, it doesn't mean anything to me when you kiss me goodnight, or good morning or make sure that I eat even when I don't want to. So fine." She took a deep breath as I watched her, in complete shock. "Fine. It doesn't mean anything to me. If you want me to pretend, then I will."

I watched her eyes, and angry as they were, they were brimming with tears and her bottom lip was trembling. I sat up and pulled her back into my chest. When she tried to push me away, I put her in between my legs and locked her in. She finally gave up and collapsed against me and I heard her whimper softly into my skin. Fuck if that didn't break me in and of itself on top of all that other shit she spewed. I tucked her head under my chin and let my hands run across the still exposed skin of her back.

"Isabella, I don't know how to make you believe that I'm not pretending, except to tell you that you're on my mind all the fucking time, and being with you is a fucking privilege. It's not even falling anymore, baby, it's being _there._ I wait for the moments where I can kiss you and touch you and hold you and call you mine, because that's what I feel. That's how I think of you. You're mine, and fuck... Baby, I..." This is the hardest part, right? If I can just get it out, it'll all happen. "Baby, I already love you. Falling... The falling is done, and I'm there. I want you all the time, and I need you all the time. It takes every ounce of strength in my body to keep from fucking you on every surface in this house because everything you do makes me want you. Bella, you get the fucking mail, and I get hard. Baby it doesn't take much, but it's you. You're it for me. And I want you. Always."


	17. Chapter 17

A/N hoes:

Please please please remember that Bella did NOT say she was in love with Edward but merely that she was FALLING in love with him; Edward was the one who outright said it. kay? Good, glad that got cleared up.

Geeze, Kel, what's with you and hos? Oh well, whatevs. I don't really care. I'm just REDIC excited for this chap to happen. It's epic, right?

Dude I love me some hoes... or something. And dude this shit... this shit is made of so much win, it almost competes with your greatness. _**Almost**_.

Hey, I'm not sure I have any greatness... this chap though? DEFINITELY!(PS your POV's are better than mine)

Whatever, you know you're the queen of all things fic. ANYWAY... so like despite Ms. Bel being an even better writer than a certain Twilight author *cough*SMEYER*cough*, we unfortunately don't own the characters. SMeyer still does, though and I bet she's like having a kineption fit over the limes and tangerines in this chap. What do you think belleroni?  
(what we're having inside brackets convos now? isn't this gonna confuse people? but no, your POVs are the best around town)

A very wise lady (LMW) once told me that the fade to black is NEVER acceptable. I intend to adhere to that sound and just wisdom. And you know what? I know for a FACT that Edward loves it. (And, umm, my POVs are only readable because of your brilliance. And yeah, this is confusing, but you're the one who put your response in brackets, kellers!)

Edward doesn't love it. He's all about NOT loving it. Ugh, did I just give away the chap?

Nice, kels... nice :P

* * *

**BPOV**

He loved me. I wasn't sure I was in love quite yet, but he was adamant. He loved me. Edward fucking loved me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my mouth against his roughly, not hesitating to slide my tongue between his lips and begin massaging his own. I began rocking my hips against his as I pressed against his body through the blanket I was wrapped up in.

I could feel his erection and moaned into the kiss as I tried to wiggle against it. He sighed and pulled his lips from mine slowly. Placing a chaste kiss on them as his eyes fluttered open and he looked at me, cheeks flushed.

"Baby... I... we can't." He enforced, his voice soft and brows knit together with concern.

"I know, but I mean... there's _other_ stuff we could do. Even though I'm pretty sure bouncing on your dick would be better than any of it."

He laughed, pulling me even closer to his body. "You know it would. I can't wait until I can feel your tight cunt wrapped around me."

I buried my face in his neck and groaned at his statement. Dirty Edward was by far one of my favorites. "I know you just did but," I whispered into his ear, "shower with me?"

He smirked and looked at me with a twinkle in his eye. "I think I'm dirty again."

I scooted off the bed and he followed, wrapping his arms around me from behind as we slowly walked down the hall. His lips dusted over my neck and shoulder as I guided us into the bathroom and reached to turn on the shower. I spun around to face him and my lips met his again.

I may not know many things with 110% certainty, but one of the few was that I would _never_ get tired of the way Edward's lips felt or tasted against mine. I pressed my body tightly against his and I whimpered as I felt his throbbing erection poke my abdomen.

God, I wanted him inside of me. Note to self: run to planned parenthood for birth control asap.

He began walking me backwards into the shower, wrapping his arms around me to lift me up and inside as we got closer.

I broke away from him to catch my breath and stepped back letting us both get sprayed with the hot water. Evidently there _was_ a way to make Edward even sexier - just add water. I sighed as my body relaxed against the droplets cascading down.

He looked down at me, a mischeivious grin splayed on his face.

"What?"

"Nothing... I was just thinking that I'm standing in a shower with the girl I love."

My heart fucking sped up, stopped, short circuited and revived itself all at once as his words echoed in my ears. I smiled and pressed my lips against his again, this time letting my right hand wander down his stomach towards the body part my pussy wanted most. I gripped his hardness firmly and began stroking up and down. His lips left mine own and trailed along my cheek and down my neck. I felt his hips thrusting his dick in my hand faster, and I took that as a cue to pick up the pace. He grunted breathlessly in my ear, "Fuck... shit Bella.. mmmm..."

"Let me taste you, please. Say that its okay to wrap my mouth around your dick like I've been dreaming about doing for weeks," I purred into his ear.

His eyes lowered and waves of lust were palpable in the air. "Do it. Suck me off."

I didn't need anything else. I dropped to my knees, not taking my eyes off of him as I swirled my tongue around his tip, tasting the saltiness of his precum. Suddenly waves of nerves wracked my body. Fuck, I'd never done this before. Fuck what if I did it wrong? What if I was bad? Shit, fuck, dammit...

"Edward?" I asked hesitantly, biting my lower lip.

"Bella..."

"Edward, I... I've never done this before. You have to tell me if I'm doing this completely horribly or if you want me to stop because I'm sucking so badly." My mind quickly registered the way it came out. "No pun intended."

"Baby, if you're nervous... you don't have to. I'm not going to force you to."

I relaxed a little more and moved my hand, placing open mouthed kisses from the base of his cock up to his tip. "I know, but I want to. I want you to fuck my mouth and I want this to be good for you, so let me know when it's not, okay?"

"It's not fucking possible, but okay."

I sighed and wrapped my lips around the head of his dick, tracing circles along it with my tongue and gently on it. My hand returned to pump his cock as my mouth made it's slow descent around his shaft. I heard him exhale through his nose and make an inaudible noise in his throat. I took that as a good sign and began sucking a little harder. He felt amazing in my mouth and I felt myself get wet all over again as I thought about how much better he'd feel deep inside of me. The thoughts egged me on, and I moved my hand a little faster while gripping it tighter and pulsing my hand around his base on every downward thrust.

"Bella, fuck.... Bella..." he moaned. Oh yes, I was _definitely_ enjoying this as much as he was. There was nothing hotter than Edward saying my name _like that_.

**EPOV**

Fuck, for not knowing what the fuck to do, she learned this shit quickly. I tossed my head back as my fingers fond their way into her hair, helping her set her pace. It was completely indescribable; the feeling of being in Bella's mouth because it was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. Her tongue was moving deliberately all along my length, making me tingle all the way down to my fucking toes. I groaned again and squeezed my eyes shut, which in turn had her moaning around my cock.

"Fuck, Baby, just like that... you feel so fucking good..."

Her hand kept pulsing around my base, which was fucking beautiful, but then I felt her other hand creep its way up my thigh. At first it was only two fingers tracing lightly on my balls, but once I let out a deep, throaty moan she grew bold. Two fingers turned into her whole hand as she cupped my sac.

"Bella," I moaned, squeezing the hand that was still resting in her hair. "That's so... fucking... perfect..."

I was fighting a losing battle against my stamina and as she kept working her mouth on my cock and her and her hand kept massaging my balls I knew I only had moments before I was gonna cum all over her. I felt my balls start to contract, so I looked down at her to give her a warning. Big fucking mistake because she looked so fucking perfect bobbing along my length.

"Baby... I'm gonna... cum... you gotta move..."

Instead of pulling off of me, like I had expected, Bella started going faster and harder, and fuck did it feel good. "Baby... really...unghhhhh..."

Even though I was protesting, she gave my balls a slight tug and pushed me over the edge. I shot my cum deep into her mouth, and I swear I could feel the tip brushing against the back of her throat. She sucked me absolutely dry, then released me before placing a chaste kiss on the head.

She looked up at me, wiping the side of her mouth with the back of her hand then smiled, "How'd I do?"

I was fucking speechless. I yanked her up quickly and pressed her lips to my own. "Baby, that was the best fucking blow job I've ever had. And it's even better because I love you."

**BPOV**

He helped me stand up, and pushed us under the shower's spray. He cupped my face with his hands and looked down at me as the water droplets poured down his face. A smile spread across his lips, but he didn't say anything. He just looked at me, his eyes burning into mine.

I started getting self conscious when he continued to stay quiet. "What?" I asked softly.

His smile grew and he shook his head. "Nothing, I just... sometimes I don't get why I never saw this before."

"Saw what?"

"How beautiful you are." He replied, lowering his face and brushing his lips against mine.

I sighed into the kiss as his arms slid down wrapping around my waist and pulling me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and laced my fingers through his hair, tugging lightly. He groaned and eagerly tried to pry my mouth open using his lips and tongue. He would never have to try very hard, and I parted my lips, entwining my tongue with his. My body was on fucking fire because of him, because of how it lit up when he touched me. I pressed my chest into his as our tongues battled. His right arm slid from my waist down the curve of my hip, and along my thigh. I bent my knee as he lifted my leg and pressed it to the side of his own, forcing our bodies even closer. My hips pressed against his, and he began grinding against me. I moaned into his mouth at the contact and he responded by moving his hand from my upper thigh to my ass and pushing me even harder against him. He spun me around and pressed me against the cold shower tiles. The arm that had remained at my waist snaked up my body, kneading my breast and pinching my nipple before alternating sides. His other hand remained planted on my ass as he palmed it, gripping it tightly with the tips of his fingers. My hands moved from his hair and slid under his arms. I raked my nails down his back and he groaned into my mouth again.

"God I need you inside me Edward. My body fucking _needs_ you." I murmured as our mouths pulled away briefly for air.

"Fuck..." He exhaled against my lips.

"What?" I asked my voice soft as I continued to pant, gasping for more air. I worried that I'd overstepped some unspoken rule about us talking about the rather sensitive topic.

"I just really fucking wish you had gotten on birth control before our trip. It's already fucking driving me insane not to be able to pound of the fuck out of you now. It's just going to fucking kill me to see you wearing nothing but a bikini all week and know that I can't just drop the bottoms and have my way with you."

I laughed, even though I felt the dampness increase tenfold between my legs. "I guess that means you'll just have to keep me out of my bikini for as long as possible."

We kissed for awhile longer before the water turned lukewarm and we were forced to rush through showering (and re-showering) before we froze to death. Edward stepped out first, wrapping a towel low on his hips and I felt the urge to go on my knees again for him. God, he must have been spiking my water with Viagra or something. He grabbed a towel from the linen closet to the right of the sink and wrapped me in it snugly. His arms moved up and down my back, trying to warm me up and I sighed into his chest, taking in the extra potent eucalyptus scent that encompassed everything that was Edward.

We walked back to my room and he kissed my forehead. "It sounds completely ridiculous, but I don't want to leave you." He said, standing in my doorway.

I smirked and tilted my head to the side. "You just want to see me naked again."

He chuckled and ran a hand through his damp hair. Fucking sex hair, even wet - _especially_ wet.

I took a deep breath and stepped closer to him, pulling at the top of my towel letting it puddle at my feet. He gasped quietly as his eyes raked over my body. "See..." he began. "I've seen you like this three, technically _four_ times already today and every fucking time..." he trailed off.

"Every fucking time, what?" I asked crossing my arms over my breasts.

His arms moved to pull my own down to my sides. "Every fucking time you look even more beautiful than the last."

Total fucking cheese. And I ate that shit up like nobody's business. It wasn't just what he said, but how he said it - like he fucking _meant_ it. And _who_... god, the who was the most important. Edward was saying this to me. The guy I had been dreaming about, getting googly-eyed over since I had started crushing on boys. If Mike had said this... well Mike would never see me naked, but _if_ _by some unfortunate and probably embarrassing incident_ he did, I would have punched him. No questions, no room or time for apologies. Just a swift fist to the face and a knee to the gonads.

But, no this was Edward. I took his arms in my hands and wrapped them around my waist as I stepped closer.

"We're not going to get a damn thing done today, are we?" He whispered as I moved to hover my lips over his. I closed my eyes and shook my head, feeling his hot breath on my face. "Not a damn thing on our list," I answered before pressing my lips against his yet again.

Two hours and a handful of attempts at pulling apart from each other later, Edward and I had finally managed to force ourselves into our respective rooms to get ready for the day.

I threw on a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans annoyed that one pant leg seemed to be stretching from my cast. Fuck, I'd need new pants in a few weeks once my cast was off. I sat down at my desk and began making a list of the last minute things I had to take care of or pick up before we left the next morning. My eyes kept leering over at my cell phone and back to the top of my list: GET BIRTH CONTROL. I huffed and reached for my phone sending a quick text to Alice asking if she would come with me to Planned Parenthood. She sent a text back almost immediately telling me she'd be demanding details the minute I got in the car, but that she'd call to make the appointment and pick me up at lunch.

Edward knocked on my door a few minutes later, after I had scratched the hell out of the number one item on the task list and was writing up a supplemental list that coincided with #2 which was a trip to the local Walgreens for travel sized items like shampoo and soap. He walked over to where I was sitting at my desk and placed both hands on my shoulders kissing the top of my head. "Working on your list?"

"Mhm."

"What do you have on yours?"

"Walgreens, Target or something like it, and a bookstore."

"Oh cool. I have Walgreens and bookstore on mine too. We can drive in to Seattle and hit those two plus Target. We may not even have to go to a bookstore if we go to Target since we could just pick up a book there."

"Oh, um... yeah. I mean, I was actually going to go into Seattle with Alice."

"Oh, Alice can come too. We can swing by and get her at lunch."

I turned around to look up at him. Fuck, I didn't know why I couldn't tell him where I was going; maybe I just didn't want to seem too eager or desperate. "Actually, her and I already made plans to go into Seattle together. Girls day out or something. She's gonna pick me up from here on her lunch break."

Please buy it. Please buy it.

His shoulders sank and his face fell. "Oh, okay... Well we'll meet up later then?"

I stood up and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "Definitely."

His lips roamed back over mine, and he sucked my bottom lip between his lips as his hands moved to the sides of my neck kissing me as if he'd never see me again.

When his mouth released my lip, I smiled sadly at him and moved a hand to the back of his neck, playing with his hair. "You okay? We okay?"

He nodded and smiled back looking hurt. My heart broke at his expression.

"You sure? I can cancel with Alice if you want. We can go to Seattle together."

He shook his head and swallowed audibly. "No, it's okay. I'll have you all to myself for almost a full week. You and Alice should hang out before we leave."

I smiled a bit more genuinely and he kissed the tip of my nose. "Well, we _do_ have about an hour before she'll be here..." I said, trailing off as his lips latched on top my neck and explored down to my shoulder.

"Then for the next hour you're mine and _only_ mine," he breathed huskily into my skin.

Never to be late, Alice rang the doorbell at exactly 12:45PM. Edward groaned into my collar bone and pushed himself off of me, where we'd been pressed together on the living room couch. He straightened his shirt and ran his hands through his hair collecting himself before jogging to the door.

"Pixie." He greeted stoically.

"SlutWard." She mimicked in the same tone. "Where the fuck did you put my friend? Did you lock her in a closet or something?"

"I'm here." I announced as my gimp ass made it up the two steps that divided the living room from the main hallway.

Alice dashed over to me and nearly knocked me down at the velocity of her hug. I hugged back looking over at Edward and we grinned at each other. God I loved him. Wait, what?

"SO! Are you ready to get your sexxors on?" Alice joked, weaving her arm around mine.

"What? What the fuck is going on?" Edward asked, his eyes lowering.

"Nothing." I pipped up quickly.

"Oh NONSENSE!" Alice said cheerily. "Little Miss Bells here is going to her first appointment at PP!"

"What the fuck is PP?" Edward inquired moving closer to us in the doorway.

"For fuck's sake Edward, you've screwed enough women. You should know; in fact, you should _live_ there."

He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "What the fuck is PP, Bella?"

"Um.. uh...." I stammered.

"Planned Parenthood you ninny! Bella's going to get some and wants to protect herself."

Edward's lips turned up into a devilish smirk and I wanted to fucking pounce on him and have my lips wipe it off. "Oh is that so?"

Fuck, I should have told Alice not to say anything. "Yep yep!" she responded excitedly. "My little Bellerina is growing up!"

"_Our_," he corrected. "_Our_ little Bellerina."

Alice's eyes widened and she looked from me to him and back to me. "Well, yeah... whatever. Anyway, your appointment's at 2:30 so we better get going if we're going to be in Seattle by then."

"Alice, Seattle's 3 hours away!" I shouted. Fuck, I wasn't going to be on time. I was going to miss my appointment and not be able to fuck Edward in the sand this week. Shit balls and rockstars.

"Bella? This is _me_. You know how I drive. It rarely takes me more than an hour and a half."

"Just don't get her killed." Edward said with a clenched jaw.

Alice's eyes snapped to Edward and she pursed her lips. "Edward, unlike _some_ people I know how to not hurt my friends."

"I would never... fuck. That's just a fucked up thing to say Alice. I would _never_ hurt Bella."

"I was talking about Emmett. I didn't realize you and Bella were friends?" She asked pointedly and looking to me for confirmation. I just shrugged.

"Well, again _whatever_ Edward. We need to go so Bells can prep for her week of fun in the sun!" Alice said, turning back on her sweet sing-song voice and pulling me through the doorway to her yellow porsche.

The drive to Seattle was full of singing to songs on the radio and Alice dishing too much fucking information on her and Jasper's sex life.

"So... are you planning on shacking up with a hot boy on the island or what?" She asked nudging me playfully as we pulled into the parking lot.

Sure, in a manner of speaking. Edward was definitely hot and he would be on the island... so technically I wouldn't be lying, but I blushed anyway.

"You ARE! Bella's going to give it up to a hot stranger on vacay!" She squealed jumping up and down in her bucket seat. She practically flew out of the driver's side door and was tapping her foot impatiently at the front door as I slowly hobbled from the car to the entrance.

Alice checked me in while I sat and stared at all the completely staged photos hanging on the wall. One girl staring at a pregnancy test looking sad with the tag line "Don't let _this_ become you. Be safe, be prepared, be protected," below it. Another a photo of a teen couple looking at each other in what I guess was supposed to be a lustful way, with the line "You're thinking about _one_ thing, but maybe you should think of another. Think before you act - use protection." I rolled my eyes, and turned to face Alice who had plopped down in the seat beside me.

"You know," Alice said breaking out into a fit of giggles before she could finish her thought.

"What?" I asked, sounding annoyed. I was starting to get nervous. What if this was just an excuse Edward was using to not have sex with me? I mean, there were condoms, why couldn't we just use those?

"When I told Rose where we were going she about lost her shit." Alice said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Why?"

"Because," she began, her laughter taking over again. "She thought.... she thought..." her laughs were going off in waves and she waived her hand in front of her trying to calm herself down.

"She thought what?"

"Whew," she said exhaling dramatically. "Okay, well she thought you wanted to get on birth control because you were going to have sex with Edward!" She said bursting into a fit of giggles all over again.

My cheeks went bright red. See _that_, that right there was why we weren't ready to tell people. THAT!

"Oh don't worry," she continued when she saw my reaction and after she had re-calmed down. "I told her that was completely ridiculous. You and him are only getting along for the sake of his parents."

When I didn't respond right away she tilted her head. "Right...?"

"Well Alice, I mean --"

"ISABELLA SWAN!" The nurse called out from the doorway. I stood up quickly and looked at Alice. "You coming with me?"

"You want me to?"

"Duh Alice."

We followed the nurse down a brightly lit hallway and into a private room.

"The doctor will be in shortly." The nurse informed us as we took a seat across from the a short stool that was tucked under a desk.

"So, what about you and Edward?" Alice asked turning to me and continuing our conversation from the waiting room.

I sighed and shrugged. "I mean, he's not as bad as I thought. I think there was maybe just a lot of miscommunication."

She nodded. "Yeah, Em told us what happened. I can't believe he never said that about you -- I mean, of _course_ he shouldn't have because you're fucking awesome and he'd be an idiot not to appreciate you crushing on him in fifth grade, but I mean like... after all this time, it's weird to find out everything you thought was true was just more or less a big fucking lie. You know?"

No joke, I felt a stab of guilt at hiding Edward and me from her when she said that. "Yeah, it's weird.. really weird sometimes. But I think we're just trying to ignore it."

"Ignore it?"

"I mean, like ignore the fact that we've spent a million years hating each other. Or start over or something. We're cool now."

"Cool like _friends _or cool like you just don't hate him as much as you used to?" She asked furrowing her eyebrows.

"Cool like... taking everything slowly."

"That sounds like what you do in a relationship." She said pointedly.

"Yeah... well this _is_ a relationship." I spit out before thinking.

"Is that so?" She asked, a smirk tugging at her lips.

"Yes, just like _you_ and _I _have a relationship." Right. Yeah, keep telling yourself that Bella.

"I guess..."

"You guess we have a relationship?" I asked, grinning.

"I guess I would use the term _friend_ship, not relationship. Very interesting choice of wording Bells, that's all." She said suspiciously.

Fortunately the doctor came in moments later and Alice was all too happy to explain _why_ we were here and my plans. The doctor expressed concerned as me losing my virginity to a stranger on a mini-vacation but said she was glad I came in and was taking necessary precautions. Despite hating needles I decided to get the depo shot since I was terrible at taking pills and just the _idea_ of an IUD made me squirm; plus the potential side effect of bigger boobs from the shot was enough to make it an easy choice.

After taking a pregnancy test to prove that I (a fucking virgin) was not incubating the second coming of christ in my uterus she explained the procedure and warned me about abstaining from using this as the sole method of birth control for at least a couple of weeks. "It's still going to be working through your system so it won't be able to protect against pregnancy until after week 2 or 3. Though, if your plan to have intercourse with a stranger on vacation, I would strongly encourage you to use a condom regardless since you don't know where his penis has been." She explained. I nodded that I understood and she administered the birth control. She warned me that my arm might be sore for a day or two at the site of injection and to contact her if I noticed any significant side effects that were problematic.

Three hours and 5 shopping bags later, we were finally on our way home.

"Alice, I still don't get _why_ you decided I needed this much shit for 6 days of vacation."

"_Because_ Bella," she said exasperatedly. "You don't know what Mr. Wonderful is going to be like, what his tastes will be. You need at least 2 bikinis per day on top of that, plus some cute sundresses so you're not looking like you have elephantitus of the calf by hiding your cast under pants."

I huffed. "I am _not_ bringing 12 bikinis with me, Alice. If you think otherwise, you are in for disappointment."

"Of course not Bella, I'm packing you with 15!" she said, giggling.

Sighing I pulled out my cell phone and texted Edward.

**Should be home in about an hour. Are you around?**

I shut my phone and closed my eyes, as I listened to Johnny Cash blast over Alice's stereo. My phone buzzed immediately and I bit my lip to hide my smile.

**Always**

I typed quickly, shutting my phone again to avoid Alice's roaming eyes.

**Are your parents home yet? I need more of you**

His response was just as quick and I pouted at his answer.

**Not yet baby... but soon... I'll catch you tonight**

I shut my eyes and sighed. I didn't know when all of this turned into more, but as I sat in Alice's car the more I thought about it the more I realized it. I wanted to be with Edward forever.

"BELLA! WAKEY WAKEY!" Alice's voice chirped as I felt the car turn.

"Mmm.." I muttered groggily. "Where are we?"

"The Cullens silly! Oh, and look who's outside. Esme must have told him to wait here and help bring you inside."

My eyes fluttered opened and there was Edward, sitting on the porch steps with Smith. My family.

**EPOV**

Bella hobbled out of Alice's car with all of her shit, and watched me warily from where she stood. I walked over to her slowly, waiting until Alice disappeared around the corner before I took her wrist in my hand and squeezed.

"You okay?" I asked, searching her eyes.

She looked up at me, and smiled, reaching up to run a hand through my hair. "Better now. I missed you."

I smiled and pulled her into my arms. "I missed you too, baby. Did you have fun with Alice?"

She groaned into my chest and I felt her fingers trace across my back. "I got everything I needed, let's put it that way."

My heart skipped a beat. "Everything?" I asked quietly."

"_Everything._" She confirmed, tilting her head up to kiss the underside of my jaw. I got really fucking nervous then. We were doing this; we were really about to fucking do this. I was going to _have _her in the most literal and important sense of the term. A million things raced through my mind: getting her off, getting me off, too soon, too late... what if I'm horrible at it? What if I miss and put it in the wrong hole? God, I could fucking scar her for life. I gulped and pressed a kiss in her hair.

"Baby... we don't... I mean, we don't have to... right away, do we?" Fuck, what the hell was I doing?"

She pulled away a bit and looked up at me, her brow knit together in confusion. "Well, no. I got the shot and the doctor said it takes two to three weeks to be fully effective."

Oh, thank fucking God.

As much as I wanted it, I wanted it to be good for her because that's what she deserved. I already knew it would be good for me because I was doing it with her. That's all I fucking needed, and now I had time to make sure it would be good. I pulled her back into me, but I noticed that she'd stiffened considerably against me.

"Hey, are you sure you're okay?" I asked again, moving my hands across her back.

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine. Just tired."

"Okay," I said, leaning my cheek against her head. "Listen, I'll take you upstairs and get your shit, then we'll have dinner. What do you feel like?"

"Oh... um, nothing, I guess. I'm not really that hungry."

I pulled away and cupped her face in my hands. She looked tired and drawn. My poor baby. "Bells you have to eat something, sweetheart. Please?"

She sighed and nodded, looping her arms around my neck and burying her face there. I kissed her temple and scooped her up into my arms and brought her to her bedroom. "Wait here, okay?" I said, as Smith hopped up onto the bed next to her. She nodded and threaded her fingers through his fur, not looking at me again as I left her room. Fuck, what the hell was wrong with her? I went downstairs, and got her shit, which I dropped off at the bottom of the stairs. I figured that her eating something was more important than packing her shit. I could do that for her later. I walked into the kitchen, where my mother and father were comparing notes.

"Oh, Edward." My father said, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "Are you and Bella all set for tomorrow?"

"Yeah, we should be." I said, pulling out the bread and butter.

"We got two rooms, honey," My mother added as I popped four slices of bread in the toaster. "They're adjoining suites, so your father and I will be right next door."

Great. Now you can hear us dry humping each other through the wall. That's fucking wonderful. "Whatever."

"I expect you two will behave while we're away. Although, you have been getting along rather well lately." She added, with a slight smile.

I shrugged as the toast popped up and I buttered it. I didn't fucking care what they thought. I loved the girl, and that's all there was to it. "I'm gonna go pack," I called. "We'll be upstairs."

I grabbed the bags of Bella's shit and brought them up to her room for her. She and Smith were exactly where I left them. I dropped the bags next to the door and handed her a plate.

"Thanks."

"No problem, Baby." I looked at her for another minute as she picked up a piece of toast and studied it. I leaned against her four poster before I spoke. "Baby, what's wrong?"

She looked up at me, her eyes blank "Nothing. I'm just tired."

"Bella..."

"What, Edward?" Her voice was even, but laced with anger. Where the fuck was this coming from?

"Hey, listen, don't be angry with me. I'm only trying to help you out. If you don't want to talk to me, that's fine." I pushed off the bed, and headed for the door.

"Edward, wait." She called.

"What's up, Baby?" I asked walking back over to her.

She laughed a little and shook her head at me, "How could you be like this?"

I put my plate and hers on the night stand and sat down on the bed across from her, "Like what?"

"So... so... patient with me. I'm so not making any sense right now."

I smiled at her and took her face in my hands, "Because I love you. And I love you no matter what."

I leaned in before she could reply, and kissed her gently, making sure to take my time so that she'd know I meant it. I did love her; more than I thought possible. I was beginning to think that maybe-- just maybe-- this could be it. This could be _the_ love that defined me for the rest of my life. Bella could be the one. She could save me from my shit, and I could keep her safe. I _wanted_ to keep her safe. I felt her shift, and before I knew what was happening, she was pressed on top of me, her hands roaming across my sides and through my hair. I felt her push her hips down into mine, and as she moaned into my mouth, all I wanted was to roll her over an fuck her dry. But I couldn't, so I pushed her up a bit instead.

"Baby, we have to pack." She groaned and started kissing me again. "Baby... Really... let me go."

She pulled up abruptly and looked down at me. "What?"

I kissed the tip of her nose and then shifted her off of my chest so I could get up. "Just let me go pack, then I'll come back and we can cuddle."

I picked up my neglected dinner and headed for the door. "No need," She called. "I have too much to do."

I sighed, and went into my room, completely confused. Her mood swings just didn't fucking make sense. One minute she was up, then next down. I was so fucking confused as I threw shit in my suit case. I wished she would've just told me what was wrong. I would've fixed it in a heartbeat. Just one fucking heartbeat was all it would take.

I finished packing a while later, and collapsed alone on my bed. It didn't feel right without Bella there; nothing felt right without Bella anymore. I fell asleep and I even _dreamt_ of the fucking girl. But hell, I loved her, so I couldn't complain. I was dreaming of her and I on the beach when I felt a very real pair of arms around me. I started to wake when she trailed light kisses down my jaw and neck.

"Edward?... Edward, are you awake?" She asked, her voice barely a whisper.

I turned over to face her, rubbing my eyes with the backs of my hands. "Yeah, Bella, what's wrong?"

She didn't say anything for a second, so I looked over at her. Her eyes were wide and she had her bottom lip pulled into her mouth. She was going to chew that fucking thing right off. "I... umm, do you think that I could... uh, maybe... stay?"

I drew in my eyebrows and laughed a little at the question. "Why on earth would you ask me something like that?"

Her eyes cast downward and her voice got quiet. "Maybe you wouldn't want me."

That fucking broke my heart. I reached over and pulled her into my arms, so that she was pressed up against my chest, just where she belonged. "I always want you. You don't ever have to ask."

I smoothed back her hair as she melted into me slowly. This is how it was meant to be; I could only hope that I would never have to know anything else.

**BPOV**

I tried sleeping without him, and I couldn't fucking do it. It was pathetic how much I needed him now. I was like this leech, and I hated myself for it. Especially when it was so obvious that Edward didn't _really_ want me. I always initiated contact. I always had to beg him for more. He always had to beg me to stop. I was beginning to even doubt he loved me; or at the very least that he was attracted to me.

Maybe he loved me like a really good friend. Maybe he loved me but wasn't _in love_ with me. Maybe I had it all wrong.

As I laid snuggled up to him in the pitch black of his room, I shut my eyes tightly to stop the tears from spilling over. In the quiet, where all I could hear was his steady breathing I could pretend. I could pretend he was in love with me. I could pretend this feeling would never go away. I could pretend that my worries were ludicrous and that he really wanted me as much as it felt like he did.

It would hurt when it was over, but I enjoyed the little moments like this when everything finally seemed perfect.

**EPOV**

The next morning, I curled into Bella as our alarm went off. She reached around me to slap it off, then tangled her fingers into my hair. Like I said, I could do this forever. I started planting soft kisses on her forehead as she hummed softly to me.

"Baby, are you happy?" I asked into her skin.

"So happy," She mumbled, pressing a kiss to my chin.

I sighed and began nuzzling her nose with my own, before kissing her. I just wanted her to get it; to get how I felt about her. It hadn't escaped my notice that she had yet to repeat those three little words. I only hoped that I'd get to hear it. I wanted her love not because she had mine or because I wanted to win anything. I wanted it because I wanted her, and to me that seemed like the last step to getting all of her.

And _that, _I was beginning to see, would be the best thing I could ever hope to get. Holy fuck, she really was it, wasn't she?

"Edward..." she said, pulling away and giving me her neck to kiss. "We have to get up... you have to drop Smith off with Emmett."

"No." I said, pulling down her tank top so that my mouth could say hello to her breast.

"No... really, oh god that feels good. No... Edward... stop... really.... uhhhh..."

I rolled on top of her, and ground my hard on into her. "Baby, I love you." I murmured into her ripe flesh, using my other hand to swipe at the other, lonely breast.

"Edward..." She moaned, running her fingers carelessly through my hair. My hand found it's way south and I cupped her core and gave it a squeeze.

"Bella, I want you." I said, kissing my way down to her panties. "I want you."

"Mmm, I'm yours." She said. And that was all I needed. Mostly because it's true. I kissed along the band of her underwear, before pulling it down completely so that she was bare to me. I sighed again as I looked at her.

"Baby, you're so fucking perfect." She moaned again, her fingers still tracing random patterns on my scalp as I kissed her slit. I hitched one leg over my shoulder then spread her lips with one hand. I laid my tongue flat against her opening, then licked straight up to her clit, moaning as I went. "God, you taste so fucking good. But I bet you can give me more."

She moaned at me again, and thrust her hips into my face. I laughed to myself, then went in for it. I let my tongue dance along her clit as I thrust two fingers into her and pumping quickly.

"Oh, God... Edward... fuck."

She started writhing beneath me, and I moaned. I loved getting Bella off; it was even better than getting my own. She was getting wetter and wetter by the second so I pushed in a third finger, curling them slightly, as I began sucking on her clit. I felt her walls start to quake and tremble around my fingers and I knew she was close so I bit down on her. And fuck did she come. She gasped and arched off the bed, her hands holding my head in place as I continued to pump my fingers and alternate sucking and nibbling her clit.

"Fuck Edward... fucking shit!" She wailed. I smiled into her skin, and slowed, taking my time as she came down from her orgasm. I pulled out my fingers, and kissed my way back up her body, paying attention to each nipple before I finally found myself back at her mouth. She kissed me hard, thrusting her tongue into my mouth and mimicking the movement of my fingers inside her.

She pulled away and her eyes were smoldering with something I hadn't seen before, but before I could figure it out, her eyes were closed and she kissed my cheek.

"Thank you."

I dipped my head to her shoulder and kissed the skin there. "It's my pleasure. I love you, that's all that matters."

I was completely prepared to stay wrapped up in Bella for awhile longer, but instead she slapped her hands on my back and quickly slid out from under me. "Hey, c'mon." she said, pulling on a pair of my jeans. "We gotta go." I propped myself up and looked at her, but she kept going. "Seriously, let's go." She bent over and kissed my stunned lips. "I'll come with you to drop Smith off, and then we can go straight to the airport. We'll be late other wise."

I just watched after her as she peeled off her shirt and put on one of her discarded bras, then grabbed a tee shirt and threw it at me. "Seriously, Edward. Move!"

I sighed and pulled the shirt over my head, and got out of bed when she handed me a fresh pair of jeans. We took out shit (and our boy) to Emmett's, then got to the airport and on the plane without another problem. But if I'm being honest, I was still trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with her and she wasn't helping. She held my hand a little, but not too much, and even though she looked completely obvious in my jeans, she didn't say a word about them or even ask if she should change. She just... let it happen. I can't say I hated it, but at the same time it seemed to violate the terms of her charade. My mother and father were seated two rows in front of us and on the opposite aisle. Thank fucking God. I wanted to be able to touch her, and that shit definitely wouldn't happen if they were on top of us. We were settled in, side by side, as the engines began to rev and we started to taxi when I felt her hand slap onto my thigh in a vice grip. I looked over to her, and she had her eyes snapped shut tightly, and her chest was rising quickly.

"Baby?" I asked, running the back of my hand across her cheek. "What's wrong?"

"I... hate... flying." She whispered.

I pried her fingers from my leg and kissed each of them. "Do you get sick?"

She shook her head. "I"m just afraid."

"Bella..." I said softly. I lifted the arm rest between us, and pulled her into me, but instead of clinging to me like I expected, she just sat there completely stiff. I started to pull away, thinking I'd gone to far, when her other hand clamped onto mine.

"No. Don't."

I smiled and kept my hands in place, giving her a tight squeeze. The engines revved and then we were speeding down the runway. I heard Bella making strangled little noises next to me, so I pulled her over to my chest and kissed her forehead and her cheeks, trying to comfort her. She finally let herself fall into me, and her head crashed into my neck as her hands fisted my tee shirt.

"Bella, it's fine... baby, you're gonna be fine. It's okay..." I just kept whispering to her over and over, trying to get her to calm down which she did, once the plane was stable and we were cruising along. I smiled at her and she blushed scarlet.

"I... I'm sorry... I probably should've warned you--"

"Bella, don't apologize," I said, leaning in and kissing her cheek. "I'm here. That's what I'm for."

She smiled shyly at me and put down the arm rest. I sighed and pulled out my magazine. Reading would pass the time and keep my mind off he fact that the love of my life felt the need to hide our relationship from everybody. It fucking sucked. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. My life would be so much better if I were only able to touch her and kiss her and talk to her anytime I wanted. Fuck, why couldn't shit be simple?

I felt Bella's hand over mine and she gave it a squeeze. I opened my eyes to look at her, and she was smiling. "What?"

"I feel like I should thank you for that and for... earlier."

I quirked an eyebrow at her, "Oh yeah? And how are you gonna do that?"

**BPOV**

I peeked down the hall and and behind me to find the nearest bathroom.

"Would the mile high club be an acceptable way?" I whispered innocently into his ear.

"You're joking."

I looked at him, checked the light above us to make sure the seat belt sign was off. It was and I unfastened myself, leaning further into him. "I'll be in the bathroom towards the back." I breathed onto his lips before placing a soft lingering kiss against them.

I stood up, crouching until I was in the aisle and could stand up fully. I peeked over to see Esme and Carlisle reading their books and looking engrossed in them. I turned around and walked towards the back.

**EPOV**

I let out a rush of air as I slouched down in my seat and ran my hand through my hair. What the fuck was this? What the fuck was I gonna do? How the hell was I going to get back there?

Get back there.

I had to get back there.

I had to get to my baby.

**BPOV**

I waited for what seemed like eons. I wondered if we were going to land soon I had been in the bathroom so long. Just further proof that Edward didn't want me. Maybe he was thinking of another girl this morning. That was probably it; he probably had a great dream about a girl he was really attracted to and woke up with morning wood and went to town on me in her place. I sighed in defeat and opened the bathroom door when I saw the his dark green eyes and familiar touch push me back into the bathroom. He slid the metal knob into locked position and pinned me against the sink assaulting my lips. I moaned into the kiss and wasted no time sliding my hands to the button of his jeans, pulling them down with his boxers. My hand gripped around his cock tightly and squeezed as I ran my thumb around his tip. He bit my lower lip and groaned, pressing his forehead against mine. "Fuck..." he panted, his hot breath wafting over my face.

"Me?" I asked, looking into his eyes, pleadingly.

He swallowed. "You can't ask me to fuck you when your hand is working my dick Bella. That's not fair."

I pouted and removed my hand, instead running my hands under his shirt. "How about now? Will you fuck me now?" God I was pathetic. I was begging my virginal boyfriend to fuck me. In an airplane bathroom no less.

He sighed and it sounded like he was frustrated. "Bella... I thought we agreed to wait."

"We did."

"It's been a day."

"That's waiting."

"Bella..." he said sternly.

"Whatever." I snapped back. This was totally not going to plan.

"No listen to me." He replied, gripping my hips firmly. "When I... when we... I don't want it to be in a fucking janitor's closet at school or in a skanky airplane bathroom. I want it to be somewhere where it'll _mean_ something to both of us. I want it to be somewhere that I can make you cum over and over again in ten different positions over an entire day and night - even more if we can and not just a pump and cum 15 minute session. I want to explore your entire fucking body, over and over again and I want to fuck you so hard, that you'll need me to carry you because you can't walk, not because your leg's broken." He lifted me onto the narrow sink so that my ass was hanging off the edge a bit and thrusted his erection against my core.

I gasped and threw me head back, almost hitting the mirror. "Do you feel that?" He hissed into my ear. "Bella that is you. That is what _you_ do to me. No one else. It takes every ounce of self control I have not to fuck you senseless every time I see you, and even more energy to resist when you ask me to." I grounded myself down against him and he responded, groaning. "God, I can feel your heat through the jeans." He moaned.

I turned my head to face him and crashed my lips against his. My hand reached for his cock again and began pumping furiously. I whimpered as my lips broke from his and I awkwardly slid down off the sink to my knees in front of him. There wasn't a lot of space, but enough for this to work. I didn't hesitate to wrap my lips around his head and suck hard as my tongue ran up and down the veins of his shaft. His hand gripped my hair and guided me further down onto his dick. His hips thrusted up as my mouth made its way as far down onto his dick as I could go. My hand pulsed around the base of his cock and he moaned out my name followed by a string of profanities. I moaned sending the vibrations straight through his hard on. My other hand reached up and began massaging his sac, squeezing it gently, then a little harder.

"Fuck Bella... Bella... shit..." he panted, fisting my hair tighter. I squeezed his balls again and raked my fingernails along the base of his cock. His hips began moving faster against the motion of my mouth and his breath came out in short ragged bursts.

"Bella... Bella... shit... fuck that feels good... Bella.. I'm going to... where do you..." he breathed out unevenly. My hand began pumping his cock in short hard strokes and I tried to increase the amount of suction around his dick.

"Bella... fuuuuuuck..." he moaned holding my head in place as he pulled my hair even harder and spurt after spurt of cum shot down my throat.

When I felt his hand loosen, I looked up at him smiling as I wiped the sides of my mouth.

"That was incredible, love." He said, still trying to catch his breath. I slid his boxers and jeans back up his legs and stood so I could button him back into them.

He kissed my forehead and the tip of my nose. "I love you so much," he murmured. I sighed contently and kissed his lips softly. He turned his head, deepening the kiss as his nose pressed into my cheek, and my hands tangled in his hair.

The knock on the door interrupted what I'm sure would have turned into round two. "Everything okay in there?" A woman's voice asked on the other side of the door.

"Yes ma'am. Just a little air sick. I'll be out in a moment." Edward's voice echoed steadily.

He placed another chaste kiss on my lips. "Thank you." He whispered.

I smiled and nodded. "Anytime."

He laughed quietly and nodded towards the door. "You first. I'll be out in a sec."

I bit my lip and nodded again, unlocking the door and casting my eyes down to the carpet to avoid the flight attendant's gaze. I walked quickly towards my seat and buckled up. A big dopey smile was plastered to my face and was matched only by the one Edward was sporting as he strolled back to our seats and dropped down onto the chair.

The rest of the flight passed uneventfully and before I knew it we were touching down. Edward grabbed my carry-on cargo bag and his backpack before grabbing my hand as we made our way down the narrow aisle towards the gate. I dropped my hand from his as we rounded the corner and I saw Carlisle towards the main walkway. He turned to look back at me and I mouthed 'your parents'. He rolled his eyes and marched forward ahead of me a bit. God, what was his problem?

The four of us made small talk about the flight as we walked down to baggage claim and collected our suitcases. Carlisle had booked us at an all inclusive resort, and had decided to hired a driver to take us to and from the airport rather than renting a car. As we piled into the town car Esme pulled me aside an wrapped an arm around my shoulder. She took a deep breath and smiled. "You know the last time, Carlisle and I were here was for your parents wedding?"

I looked at her, completely stunned. "My parents got married in Forks."

She shook her head. "Yes, yes legally and all that. But a few months after Charlie proposed Renee decided she wanted to have an unwedding ceremony and the four of us flew here. She knew that their wedding day was going to be full of rain and dreariness. And you know your mother, she always wanted to remember things in a happy light. So we came here, and your parents got 'married' by a local surfer they met at a bar their first night here, on the beach. We were the unofficial witnesses to the unwedding." I smiled. That sounded exactly like something my mom would want, and exactly like something Charlie would agree to do just to make her happy.

I turned and hugged Esme tightly. "Thank you," I whispered pulling away slowly. She smiled and rubbed my back. "I have a lot of memories of them, Carlisle too. Anytime you want to hear a story or ten, come talk to us. We miss them too and we want you to know anything you want to learn about them."

We walked back to the car and got situated. I think this was going to be a well needed vacation.

Edward and Carlisle pulled the bags out of the back while Esme and I walked inside to check in. "What do you mean, booking error? We called nearly a month ago." Esme asked calmly as the clerk read back the room types.

"I'm sorry ma'am but the room is already occupied, as are all of our two-room suites. I'm sorry; however we do have you assigned to two lovely rooms; one overlooking the northern section of the beach, and the other overlooking the southern.

"So they're not even next to each other?" Esme asked, a hint of irritation in her voice.

The woman, pulled up the screen and bit her lip shaking her head. "No, I'm showing one room as 504 and the other as 571. They're on the same floor though."

Carlisle and Edward approached us and Esme filled them in on what had transpired.

"Well, this is going to pose an issue. Does one of the rooms have 2 queen beds, at least?" He asked the front desk clerk. She looked back at her computer screen and nodded. "Yes, room 571, with the view of the north shore is a non-smoking room with 2 queen sized beds and a jacuzzi tub. The other, room 504 has a single California King and also a jacuzzi tub."

"Well I guess we know the sleeping arrangements." Carlisle said handing Edward and I key cards to 571.

"Seriously dad?" Edward asked looking from him to Esme to me and back to his parents.

"Now Edward Anthony Cullen. You and Bella have been getting along just fine lately. Don't start with an attitude now just because we're on vacation. You two can share a room, it's fine. You'll be out most of the time anyway."

Edward sighed, but I could see the grin he was trying to suppress as we rode up in the elevator to the 5th floor. Carlisle and Esme walked us to our room, and nodded approvingly as we all stepped inside.

"Well, it's not an ideal situation, but it's still a nice room." Carlisle remarked checking out the view and the massive bathroom with the tub that was 3 times the size of the one at home. "Well we'll let you two get settled. Let's plan to meet downstairs for dinner around 7, alright?" We both nodded and they left for their room.

Edward watched through the peephole as they disappeared down the long hallway, and bolted the door shut. I fell back onto one of the beds, and he jumped onto it beside me. He dipped his chin towards me and pressed his lips against mine feverishly.

"Well this was a great stroke of luck. I was afraid I'd have to ask you not to say my name when I licked that amazing pussy of yours." He smirked, as he pulled his lips away and brushed a few stray hairs behind my ear.

"Mhm. Definitely grateful for the good luck." I said as I placed feather-light kisses on his forehead, eyelids, cheeks, nose and chin.

"So what do you wanna do to celebrate our good fortune?"

"Hm..." I said pretending to think hard about the possibilities. "Nap. Definitely nap."

His eyes widened a little. "Seriously?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but only in our underwear. I want to feel you. I like feeling you."

He smiled kissing my lips delicately. "I like feeling you too, love."

We sat up and stripped; him down to his boxer and me to just my underwear. We pulled back the covers and laid under only the thin sheet. He pulled me to him and I entwined my legs with his.

"I can't wait to get this fucking cast off." I confessed as we laid facing each other, looking into each others' eyes.

He chuckled quietly. "Why? Other than the obvious inconvenience."

"Because," I sighed. "It's annoying, and I can't swim with it, and it itches like a motherfucker."

He smirked and hitched my leg over his hip, drawing me closer. "Personally, I like it. It gives me an excuse to touch you more. To touch you in public, even."

My hands reached around and started playing with his hair. His lips latched on to mine possessively and I closed my eyes getting lost in his taste. God Edward tasted fucking _incredible_.

His hands wrapped around my hips and slid inside my underwear, cupping my ass and pushing me against him harder. I rubbed my hips against his and he groaned loudly into my mouth. I rolled us over so I was straddling him and I began grinding into him roughly through our underwear. I could feel his erection poking me right where I wanted it most and I mewed into the kiss, tugging on his hair. His hands gripped my ass harder, shoving my body against his as we set a rhythm through what little clothing we had.

"Fuck Bella..." he panted pulling his lips from mine. "We... ugh.. we need to stop..."

I nibbled down his neck. "Why? Why do we need to stop?"

"Because..." he panted not stopping his movement despite voicing his desire to. "We said we would... ungh.. fuck Bella.." he said, interrupting himself as he rocked against my lips. "We said, we'd wait... ugh... and if we don't stop soon I won't be able to."

I pressed my body against his harder, picking up the pace. I was sure he could feel my wetness through my underwear, and I nibbled and sucked on his earlobe. "Please Edward, can't you feel how much I was this. How much I need this?" I moaned into his ear quietly.

His hands slid out of my underwear and I knew this was yet another battle lost. He moved me over so I was laying next to him. He ran a hand through his hair as he tried to regulate his breathing and sat up.

"I'll be right back." He said turning his head over his shoulder but not looking at me.

I didn't say anything and watched him disappear into the bathroom, shutting it behind him.

Great, now he was pissed at me. Good fucking going Bella.

**EPOV**

Why couldn't she just wait? I didn't see what the big deal was; I mean was I really asking too much of her? She was asking me to hide the fact that I loved her, so it seemed to me that waiting shouldn't be to hard. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, then braced myself on the counter. This was just so... fucked up. What we were doing... it couldn't be healthy. And it would break us; I knew it would break us. It didn't matter to me if we didn't have anybody once they found out. I had Bella, and in the end that was more than enough. But why didn't it seem like it was the same for her? Why didn't she love me the way that I loved her? Did she even love me at all? She hadn't said so, which probably meant that she didn't. Not gonna lie, that kinda broke my heart. It fucking figures that the one girl that I wanted more than anyone else wouldn't love me back. Maybe she just wanted sex. That would explain why she was so fucking eager. But then what? Fuck me and ignore me? Hell, I sounded like such a chick.

I sighed and looked up at my reflection in the mirror, and the second I did I knew that none of it made a damn difference. Bella would be the one girl in my life that I would do anything for; absolutely anything, as well as take all of her bullshit. It didn't matter to me that she didn't love me, or if she just wanted a fuck buddy; I was beginning to think that I would be whatever Bella wanted me to be. I just hoped that I wouldn't get burned for it. I pushed off the sink and took a deep breath before I opened the door. She was leaning up against the headboard, with her knees at an angle. She looked over at me, her eyes hard.

"Hey," She said curtly.

I sighed and walked over to her, not quite touching her but close enough so that I could run my finger up and down her covered leg. "Baby, don't be mad. I just want to do it right, okay?"

"I'm not. I thought you were."

I felt my eyebrows twist together, as one corner of my mouth turned up into a smirk. "What would I be mad about?"

She shrugged and dropped her eyes, pulling her lip in between her teeth. "You just seemed... angry when you left."

"At myself because right now I can't give you what you want. Bella, I want this with you but I want to do it right. We... we have forever, Bella. Please don't make me rush this with you."

Her brow furrowed and she nodded slowly. "We... we have forever? You want me forever?"

I laughed and pulled her good leg out over my lap. "Of course, Bella." Then I remembered that she might not want that, "Unless... that's not what _you_ want. Forever is yours, but only if you want it."

She crawled into my lap and rested her head on my shoulder, taking my hand in hers and drawing lazy patterns in my palm. "Remember before? When I said I wanted you for as long as you wanted me? I meant it. I'll always want you, want _this_."

I wrapped my arms tightly around her and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Bells. I'm not going anywhere."

She hummed into my chest, and kissed the skin over my heart, and I felt yet another one of those motherfucking tugs. She said forever, but did she mean it? We were already living a double life as it were, so how was I really supposed to know when she meant it and when she didn't. I mean, she was the one who wanted to keep shit quiet and here I was going along with it. What the fuck was wrong with me? I squeezed her again, and she kissed along my collar bone. It all felt way to right to be a game. But maybe that was only me; maybe I didn't want to believe it was a game because to me, it never was.

"Are you okay?" She whispered, one hand sliding up my chest to tangle in my hair.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay," she said, pressing kisses into the hollow of my neck. "Listen... we better get going... we have to meet your parents, and it's almost five already."

"What time do we have to be there?" I asked, closing my eyes and leaning into her touch.

"Seven."

I laughed lightly, "Bella, we have plenty of time."

"Yeah, I know, " She lifted her head so that her lips were hovering just above mine, and I could feel her breath wash over me as she spoke. "But I wanted to take a shower."

I grinned and kissed her passionately, before lifting her up and walking into the bathroom. This was my girl; this was exactly what I wanted.

Despite the group shower, we were still done early, and decided to just go down to the restaurant and wait for my parents. She dropped my hand the second we walked through those doors. I tried not to get annoyed. I gave the hostess my name, and she took us over to our table.

"Hey, I'm gonna run to the bathroom," I told Bella, after I was sure she was settled. She nodded and smiled up at me, then turned to her menu. I was happy that she seemed to be okay again; that she was acting like herself. I could only hope that shit would stay that way, though, and not gonna lie at the present moment, I wasn't too optimistic. Bu then I remembered that this was my Bella, and that I could trust her. I _did_ trust her. But when I finished in the bathroom, I wanted to fucking kill somebody. In particular, somebody who looked like a mangy rat waiter. The worst part of it? She was fucking smiling up at his stupid ass. Fuck.

I made my way over to the table and stood behind the asswipe. Bella's eyes flicked over to mine and they went wide. The guy turned around, and grinned at me. He thought he was gonna get some. Not from my girl. _Definitely _not from my girl.

"Hey, man, how's it hanging?" He asked. I wanted to smack that dopy grin right off of his face. "I was just talking to your sister about her time on the island. You know, gotta make sure the kid has a good time."

I scowled, not completely sure if I was mad at Bella for telling him that she was my sister, or at him for repeating it. "She's not my sister."

He cocked his head to the side a little, "Oh, well I thought--"

"You thought wrong. Now do me a favor and get the fuck away from my girlfriend." The waiter looked at me like I had 15 heads, so I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Something not clear, peaches?"

He shook his head, and grimaced. "You're a joke, man. A fucking joke."

I laughed darkly, but before I could reply he was walking away. Good. He might give Bella crabs or some shit. And let's be honest, that was the last fucking thing I needed right now. I slouched into the seat across from Bella and refused to look at her. I just couldn't fucking deal with this shit. Newton was one thing; _him_ I could handle. But every other fucking guy who looked at her? And especially when no one was supposed to know? Fuck. I probably just completely fucked that shit up. Now the dumbass waiter knew she was with me. Bella would have to hide from him now. Fucking priceless.

"So I hadn't realized you packed Neanderthal Edward in your duffel bag for the trip?"

"I didn't realize that flirting with other people was on the itinerary. Do you think the hostess thought my ass looked cute when I was walking back from the bathroom?"

She let out a puff of air, and she sounded confused. "What? Since when does placing a drink order - I ordered you a coke by the way - constitute flirting?"

I put down my menu and leaned across the table to her, "Since you turned it into that. I didn't know you were into assholes like him."  
"Evidently I am, since I'm with the guy at the top of the class."

I glared at her and picked up my menu. "Fine. Maybe you can get him to help you lose it, since you're so fucking eager."  
"Maybe I should since it's obvious my boyfriend has no desire to fuck me." Her eyes were narrowed at me, and her lips in a tight pucker. I couldn't believe that she'd done that. That was low, even for the Shrew Queen. I opened my mouth to respond, when I felt two strong hands clap over my shoulders.

"Edward! Good to see you haven't killed Bella yet!" My parents laughed to each other, and Bella smiled meekly. I only would have needed two more minutes and I would've been single again.

I didn't say two more words to Bella over dinner, despite my parent's best attempts to get us to speak. I was over it. She was the one who fucked up, and I wasn't about to make peace. Fuck that shit, baby; it's your move. I didn't help her out of her chair, for which my mother took a swipe at me, and then we headed out. Bella was hobbling along in front of me, when I saw her stop and scan the room suddenly. I hung back intrigued, but then I felt my heart drop into my stomach as she motioned for Dickfuck: the waiter edition to come over to her. Which he did. I couldn't believe that she was actually fucking doing this... I was only kidding. I didn't actually want her to fuck the kid. I gulped and ran my hand through my hair as the kid stopped in front of her. He whispered something in her ear, then handed her a piece of paper. Fuck. She was really going to do this. But then I saw her push his hand away as she shook her head and said, "Listen, I said I was sorry for my boyfriend's actions earlier, but that wasn't an invitation. I'm flattered, but really he means everything to me and will for a long fucking time so I think I'm good with him being my guide this week."

I smiled to myself,and moved toward her, taking her arm in my hand. Bella, however, had other ideas. She wrenched her arm away from me, and scowled, "don't _fucking_ touch me Edward. I'm surprised you didn't slide him our room key; you seemed so thrilled to have someone to pass me off to."

I was completely stunned, and utterly confused. "Bella, I--"

She held up her hand and shook her head at me, "No, don't. You made it crystal clear that everything was just an excuse. That you were just saying you wanted to eventually _someday_ have sex with me to shut me up. And that's fine, maybe I went about this entirely too _eagerly_ as you so eloquently put it. But I'm sorry, I've never wanted anyone like this before. So just, don't say anything otherwise I'll just get even more embarrassed and I've been humiliated enough the past few weeks at constantly flinging myself at you only to have you push me away. Tonight, with you throwing me completely away and even _suggesting_ that I should go to someone else... that takes the fucking cake."

I was totally shocked by what she'd said, and how completely inaccurate it all was. I couldn't believe that she thought I didn't want to sleep with her because I _didn't want to sleep with her._ Who the fuck was she dating? Not me, because I got fucking wood when someone said her name. How much more could you want someone? My body craved her in a way I didn't even think existed, and she thought that I was making it up? Before I even had a chance to respond, she was hobbling into the elevator, going up to our room. I sighed and pushed the button for another car, but then changed my mind and went into the lounge and sat in an arm chair that looked out the window onto the beach as the sunset. This vacation wasn't turning out the way I had intended. We should've been completely wrapped up in each other all the time, but instead I was sitting alone, hoping that she was still my girl. I slouched down and shut my eyes, letting out a deep breath.

I couldn't believe that I had let her walk away after something as simple as a misunderstanding. What an asshole I could be.

**BPOV**

I shoved my earbuds in my ear and put on the most pathetic emo music I had in my mp3 player. He hadn't contradicted what I'd said. He hadn't argued it at all. He just stood there. Obviously I was right and I had just called him out on everything. My body heaved with sobs and I was thankful that he wasn't around to witness my crumbling. He had ripped out my heart. It would only get worse from here; I had to share a room with him for the next 6 days, how was I going to do it without showing how much he had broken me. Everything... was a lie. Everything. He didn't really love me; the more I thought about it, the more it was painfully obvious that he never had.

So what, was I just a joke to him? I fell asleep alone that night. I hadn't heard Edward come in and I briefly wondered if he had found a waitress or another guest to let his sexual tension spill into it.

The next morning my eyes opened to Edward's face. He had his arm resting on my hip but kept me at a distance. I sighed quietly, taking in his appearance. He looked conflicted. Even as he slept his forehead was creased and his lips were pouting. I rolled over and tried to slip out of bed, but his arm pulled me back to him and moved me closer. I could hear him breathing through his nose and my heart broke a little more knowing that this, whatever it had been was drawing to a close. The secret was out - only it wasn't the one we'd been arguing about for weeks. No, this was his and his alone.

His body began to stir and his hand moved up to my waist, gripping it through my tank top. His eyes blinked open and locked on my own. His face was unreadable as he looked at me, and I sucked my lip between my teeth, unsure of what to say. Fortunately he spoke first.

"I love you." He said in a hushed whispered as he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine.

I let out a breath and squeezed my eyes shut. _Don't fucking cry again_ I repeated in my head. "You... you have to stop saying that Edward. You've said enough things you don't mean. You can stop pretending."

"Baby, when it's you and me, I'm never pretending. I love you so much, and I'm sorry. I was completely out of line yesterday, but I hate it that that guy can be more affectionate to you in public than I can. I hate that he could touch you and smile at you and I fucking can't. I'm just frustrated, Baby, and I took it out on you. I'm so fucking sorry."

I wanted to believe him. I _needed_ to believe him. "You said you never pretend when it's you and I. But yesterday, after he had left... you said that I should have gone to him instead. Is that what you want? Are you waiting for me to leave? Will that be easier than putting up with me?"

He gripped my waist tighter and pulled me into his chest, pressing his lips into my hair. "Never. I don't want anyone else to know what it's like to kiss you or touch you. I _never_ want to know another day without you; I need you, Bella. I need you to keep me together and..." He inhaled sharply and lowered his voice, "I need you to love me."

The tears threatened to spill again. How could he be so selfish? He needed me to say I loved him, so what? So he could turn around and say HAHA JOKES ON YOU! The tears broke through as visions of him laughing and stomping on my heart raced through my eyes. "I can't..." I said, sniffling. "Edward, you're too... I can't. I can't trust you won't break me."

"Baby, I won't... I can't. You're a part of me; the best part of me, and I'm _nothing_ unless I have you. Baby... please. You have to believe me."

"But..." I sucked in a breath of air and gulped back the rest of the tears. "But you broke me last night."

**EPOV**

I broke her.

Fuck.

I _broke_ her.

There wasn't any mincing of words; no sugar coating in her words just pain and truth. Fuck, my heart hurt. I'd hurt my baby.

Fuck.

I leaned down and kissed her eye lids, then down her cheeks where a few stray tears had fallen. I spoke softly between kisses, "Baby... please... tell me how to fix it. Let me fix it for you."

She shook her head against my lips, but didn't open her eyes. "I don't know how. I don't know if this is fixable."

My heart broke at her words, "Bella... I... don't. Please. D-don't say that. _Please." _I felt my voice starting to crack as my own eyes filled with tears.

She started to cry outright, and her voice was quivering through her sobs. "Edward... why am I not enough for you? What is about me that is so repulsive..." she sniffled, "...repulsive about me that makes you want to pass me off to some random guy, rather than sleep with me?"

I felt like shit then. She thought that I was using her; that she was... a possession. Fuck. "Bella, don't... please, just don't say things like that. It's not true." I reached up and took her face in my hands. "Baby, I'm so sorry that I made you feel that way. I feel like such a failure, hearing you say that. Bella, you're my whole fucking world... you're my life. I don't want anyone else to have you. Not ever. I want you, fuck Baby, I want you. I just want it to be right."

I put my forehead back against hers and just listened to her breathe before she spoke.

Her eyes snapped open suddenly, "But when Edward? Every moment we're together is right. Every fucking time you touch me, it's right - at least to me. I wouldn't care if we had sex in a seedy McDonald's kitchen. It would be _right_ because it'd be you and me. So maybe it's not right for you because _I'm _not right for you."

"No, Bella. Please, d-don't tell me that you're not right for me because it makes me feel like my heart is being torn out. I love you so much, and you're right: as long as it's you, it _doesn't_ matter where it happens. I want it to be you, and I want it to be perfect for you. I don't want you to regret it." I closed my eyes and realized the truth of what I was about to say. "I don't want you to regret losing it to me."

"If my first time is with you, I don't care where it is, I would never regret it because it'd be with you and that by default would make it perfect." She hesitated, then added in a voice so soft, I almost didn't make out the words: "Edward, I could never regret anything with you; except losing you."

"Then don't let me go."

**BPOV**

I wanted to shout that he was the one that was pushing me away. Pushing me on to other men, but that seemed a little farfetched and over played. So I sighed and rubbed my nose against his lightly.

"Edward, why do you love me?" This was important. I had no idea why he put up with my crazy moods, or my attempts at raping him. From where I stood, there was absolutely no fucking reason he should.

His lips pressed to the edge of my mouth and he nuzzled his nose against mine. "Because of the way you run your fingers through my hair when I have a headache, because of the way you kiss my neck when we're in bed together in the morning, because it feels like I wasn't a whole person before you kissed me, but mostly it's because you're the one person I _want _to love for the rest of my life."

"The rest of your life?" I asked with disbelief. "You love me even though I'm bat shit crazy and drive you insane with my incessant efforts to get you to sleep with me?"

He let out a puff of laughter, opening his eyes and looking directly at me. "For the rest of my God damned life, Isabella Swan, I'm gonna love you and I'm gonna be in love with you. No matter what. Nothing will ever change that."

I didn't know how to respond to that. Sure I felt the same way, but I was still apprehensive. I was still worried he would crush me beyond repair eventually and I couldn't risk letting him in completely only to have that occur. I closed my eyes and tilted my head, brushing my lips against his. His teeth pulled my bottom lip into his mouth and he sucked on it lightly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and threaded my fingers in his hair. I whimpered as I felt his mouth release my lips. He chuckled softly and rubbed his nose against mine again, whispering "Forever, Isabella. I want you to be mine forever. No one else. Just be mine."

"For as long as you want me." I replied burying my face in crook of his neck and sighing softly.

This right here, moments like these would be worth all the hurt in the end.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N hoes:

Alright ladies (and possible gentlemen?) we gotta sort something out. Most of y'all seem to have a bone to pick with Bella. And, since I write EPOV (ultra protective of Bells) and I am a Bella (tots get that shit), I gotta tell you guys that she has her reasons. Please try to keep in mind that her parents have died; she's lost absolutely everything near and dear to her. She just doesn't want to lose Edward, too. Right Kels?

Um... right. What she said...

But I like this Chap... I feel like it's made of win

prolly because it is. But there's a fruitbasket in here, so the owner, SMeyer might not approve.

Whatevs... she just can't write the damn things as well as you do. She'd prolly be all "He slide his hand to my blossoming womanhood" BLAHBLAHBLAH

Bel... if that. It'd probably be like "He and I sank into an abyss of forever." Is it bad that fade-to-black makes me laugh out loud when it's not pissing me off?

No, because it's re- fucking- diculous. I don't think that the fade to black really exists. It's for people who can't handle some really awesome TTC... like we provide for everybody's entertainment. Fuck Kels we're kind of like the Lucy and Ethel of Fanfic.

We are? Just with smut instead of vitamina vegamin?

Duh lovebug ;-)

Right then. so um, comments are nice? especially since we've now done like 3, 15k+ chapters in, what... like a week?

* * *

**EPOV**

We fell back asleep after our little chat, and even though she'd said forever, she still hadn't said _it._ I knew I didn't deserve to hear it; especially after last night, but I still wanted it. I wanted her to love me the way that I loved her, and to know deep in her bones like I did, that I could never leave her. It was unfathomable to me that that would ever happen. All I wanted was to love her; and to keep loving her, but it seemed like every time I told her she withdrew a bit more. I wanted to shake her, and get her to just be with me, and yet it seemed as though I wouldn't ever get all of her. She was adamant that I (and our relationship) be kept at arms length. And I hated that. All I wanted was to be wrapped up in her, but instead I was by myself and lost.

I felt my eyelids flutter open and I pulled Bella tighter into me. I was so happy that she was still fucking here. She snuggled tighter into me, and I tilted my head to begin planting kisses all over her face; anywhere I could reach. I heard her hum, contentedly then loop her arms around my neck.

"Hey, Baby." I whispered against her lips.

"Hi." She replied sleepily.

I kissed her mouth, letting my tongue swipe against her lips as her leg began to tangle in mine. Well that just would not fucking do for what I had in mind. Without breaking the kiss, I rolled her over onto her back, nudging her legs apart with my knee. "Baby..." I whispered, moving my lips down her neck and across her chest. "Baby, I want you... I always want you."

Her hands flexed tightly in my hair, and she was already panting. "Mmm.. me too Edward. Always..."

I kept my trail of kisses moving down, across the cotton of her tank top until I could pull it up over her head. Once it was off, I crashed back down on top of her and whispered in her ear. "I don't care how many times I see you, Baby. There has never been a more perfect creature in this world than you."

She let out a little whimper and I traced my lips back down to her tits, where my mouth latched onto an unsuspecting nipple. I sucked and teased it until you could probably cut glass with that fucker, and I switched to the other side, replacing my mouth with my hand. Bella's hands went back to my hair and she started to lightly scrape her nails against my scalp. I moaned into her breast, and she arched off the bed and into me. I fucking loved that shit. I kept my mouth and hand working her as I let the other dip down to trace patterns on her stomach, then dip into her underwear. Fuck, she was wet.

She moaned as my fingers slipped in between her folds and stroked her throbbing pussy. I traced one finger from her entrance up to her clit, circling it before making my descent into her depths. She gasped and arched off the bed, so I quickly added two more. She shivered a few times before finally settling back down and bucking her hips into my hand.

"Edward... please..."

I kissed her nipple quickly before moving up her body and letting my thumb fall into place over her clit. "I love you," I said, my lips hovering above hers. "There's nothing I won't do for you. I love you."

She was about to respond, but I quickly smothered her lips with mine, and began to move my hand. Bella moaned into my mouth as my fingers thrust hard and fast into her, curling so that I hit her sweet spot, and my thumb wreaked havoc on her clit. I loved all of the little noises that she was making as I moved, and I loved the way her body pressed tightly against mine as she writhed and squirmed underneath me. I never wanted to do this with anyone but Bella. Not ever. It wouldn't be the same; it wouldn't be as good, and I definitely wouldn't want to work this hard to get someone else off. She was most important, and I would make sure that she would cum.

"Bella, Baby?" I asked, my fingers twisting and curling, "Baby, cum for me.... please baby, I want you to come all over my hand and feel you gush onto my hand. Please?"

I felt her walls begin to tremble and quake around my fingers as she began thrashing and thrusting quickly into my hand. "Edward... Edward... Fuck.... Edward... so... close..."

I smiled and kissed her neck, "Baby, cum for me."

I attached my lips to her pulse point and sucked on it as my thumb moved at lighting speed over her clit as my fingers pressed into her spot. Her walls clamped down around me and began fluttering rapidly.

"EDWARDEDWARDEDWARDEDWARDUUUUUUUUUUUNUNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!!!"

I smiled and against her skin, and kissed my way back up to her lips, not daring to remove my fingers from her until her orgasm was completely over. She was gasping and catching her breath in between kisses, and I was finally able to wrap my arms around her, rolling us over and pulling her onto my chest. She pressed her lips over and over into my skin and I pushed her hair off of her face. She looked up at me, resting her chin on my chest and smiled. "Thank you."

I cupped her face in my hands, and rubbed my thumbs across her cheek bones. "It's not necessary; I love you. Please, don't doubt that."

**BPOV**

There was nothing sexier thank a naked Edward, and nothing better than being wrapped up in a naked Edward. We had spent the tail end of the morning reacquainting each other with our bodies. Who knows, maybe something had changed in the past day since we had examined each other, right? I was half laying on him as his left hand wrapped around my body and ran lines up and down the side of my body from my shoulder down to my ass and back.

"How do we feel about leaving the room today?" I murmured into his chest.

"Like it would be a very, very bad idea. Bella, there could be bad things out there."

I hummed into his chest. "But what about your parents? They might come looking for us."

His arms snaked around my body and pulled me closer to him. "Fuck my parents."

"Ew, gross. I'd rather fuck you." I said honestly, sprinkling chaste kisses along his chest. I felt his body sigh and I wasn't sure if it was from my statement or lips. "Regardless, Alice _did_ buy me like a hundred bathing suits and we _are_ in Hawaii. Maybe we should venture out for a few minutes?" I suggested after a beat of silence.

He leaned down and kissed my temple. "If we must."

A little after 12:30 we were swim suited up and walking down to the beach. I looked like a fucking idiot hobbling down the walkway with a fucking cast and skimpy bikini on. Why, I didn't screen Alice's bikini choices I don't know - but I should have. The string bikini top was a strong gust of wind away from making me topless, and the bottoms didn't even fully cover my ass. It was redamndiculous. Fortunately, judging from the other girls' attire at the beach I wouldn't have to worry about being shy at how little I was wearing. Nearly ever girl we passed _stared_ at Edward. And all of them had better bodies than me and were showing more skin. Edward barely registered them, unless they said hi, to which he'd offer a smile or a nod.

Edward and I fanned our towels onto the sand a ways up from the shoreline and lathered each other up with sunscreen, since we were both so pale we were almost transparent. We pulled out books we had purchased for the trip and settled in under the sun.

It wasn't even 10 minutes later when Edward's head shot up. "Hey I'm going to go grab something to drink. Do you want anything?"

I shook my head, smiling a little. "Nope, I'm good."

He kissed my forehead and hopped up. "Okay, I'll be right back. You okay here?"

Nodding I held my hand to my forehead blocking the sun as I looked up at him, "yeah, I'm good."

He smiled and jogged over to the bar area, while I went back to my book.

100 pages in, and he still hadn't come back. I was a fast reader, but not _that_ fast. I stood up and looked around towards the direction he had gone in. My heart froze as I saw him laughing with some blonde haired, Tanya-esque looking girl. Her hand was on his forearm and he was grinning at whatever the fuck she was saying.

Love had evidently turned me into a fucking blind, sensitive idiot. I bit my lip and sniffled, running my fingers through my hair. Right then, I think I've had enough sun for the day. I bent down slowly, trying to avoid topping over into the sand and grabbed my towel. After shaking it out I folded it over my arm and walked back towards the hotel.

I was a fucking idiot; I played right into it; into him and into _everything_.

**EPOV**

"So then she was trying to tell me that it was hers in the first place!" The blonde broke out into a laugh, so I laughed right along. I didn't know what the fuck she was talking about. Frankly I don't think she did, either. I sighed and grabbed my drink off of the bar.

"Well, thanks, I gotta get back to my girl."

I smiled at the thought of Bella waiting for me, and started to walk over to where she was sitting. But I froze on the spot when I realized that she wasn't there. I panicked a little bit and scanned the beach quickly, checking for her.

Nothing.

I saw absolutely nothing.

I went over to our chairs, grabbed my shit and raced up the stairs to our room. She had better fucking be there. I tried the key in the lock a few hundred times before it finally opened.

"BELLA!" I shouted.

Nothing. Just silence.

Fuck.

I let the door swing shut behind me, and as I looked around the room it was clear that she hadn't been back yet. I sighed, and dropped my shit next to the door, then pulled out my cell phone to call her. Voicemail. It fucking figures.

"Call me back." That was really all I felt like saying. I threw my phone onto the bed, before flopping down on top of it. If she wanted to be a fucking Houdini, then fine. I wasn't going to freak out about it. What the fuck did it matter to me?

Oh, right.

I loved her.

What a fucking idiot I was.

**BPOV**

I figured that Edward would make it back to the room if he ever went back to find me, so I opted to roam around the hotel instead of going back.

"Bella!" Esme's sweet voice hollered from down the hall.

I turned around to see her dashing towards me, with Carlisle following quickly behind her. I took a deep breath and smiled and she neared. "Hi Esme... Carlisle." I greeted nodding at them both.

Esme wrapped her arms around me tightly. "Bella honey, where's Edward?" She asked pulling away to look at me. I shrugged. "I think he met a girl at the beach." I said as I felt my heart chipping away slowly.

"Hm, well I'll talk to him about that. He shouldn't be leaving you alone like that."

I shook my head vigorously. "No, no it's okay. Please don't. I wandered off on my own, the sun was making me tired. I thought I'd take a nap."

Her eyes narrowed and she partially turned her head. "Carlisle, can you wait for me outside. I want to have a little girl talk with Bella."

"Hm? Oh, alright. I'll meet you out by the scuba gear stand." He said as I saw him turn around and head back in the direction he had just come from. She entwined her arm with mine and we walked down the hall towards the indoor/outdoor pool. She sat down on one of the lounge chairs and motioned for me to sit, which I did.

"Who is the boy?"

I don't know if I could have gotten any paler. "Um, uh... uh, what?"

Her face softened and she smiled, patting my knee. "Last night you barely spoke at dinner, and today you're ditching Edward to be by yourself. Tell me, is the boy a guest here?"

I looked at her completely confused. "What?"

She laughed a little. "Bella dear, I may be old but I remember what it was like to crush on a boy and be crushed. You sweetie, look absolutely devastated. So what happened?"

I sighed. I needed to tell _someone_. Maybe I could just leave out specifics, oh like _it's your son_.

My eyes fixated on the ground. "He said he... um... really liked me. Then today, at the beach I mean... I saw him with another girl; a prettier girl." Esme brushed a few strands of hair out of my eyes and smiled sadly. "Sweetie, you are beautiful, quite possibly the most beautiful girl here. He's a fool to think otherwise."

I bit my lip and smiled up at her best I could. "Thanks Esme."

"And what about last night?" She asked.

I shook my head. "It was just a stupid fight. We've done that a lot since we met, fight."

"Sounds like it, especially if you two just met yesterday." She observed, smirking. I could have sworn she knew the truth then and there. But if she did, she didn't make it known.

I took a deep breath and stood up. She followed suit. "Remember honey, you're beautiful and incredibly warm and sweet. Just like your parents, and you're worth more than someone who is going to toy with you like it sounds like this guy is doing." She advised, wrapping me up in another warm hug. I hugged back and bit back the tears. Yeah, that's exactly what Edward was doing, _toying with me_.

"Enjoy the rest of the day sweetie. If you see Edward, tell him we have reservations earlier tonight - at 6."

I nodded and walked out of the pool area with her, turning to go back outside to the beach. Edward Cullen would not ruin my sunny holiday vacation, no matter how much I had to bury the hurt for now.

**EPOV**

I ended up taking a nap, and Bella never called me back. Whatever. That shit was seriously starting to piss me off. But fine, if she didn't want to come back I couldn't make her. Then I realized that I was also assuming she was mad at me. Fuck, it's funny how your brain works sometimes. I hadn't done anything wrong, and she just fucking took off. My mind immediately went to the waiter from last night. What if she was with him?

Just as I was getting too paranoid for my own good, I heard the door click open and Bella's smell overtook me. I sat up and looked back for her, but she had already gone into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

"Your mother says dinner's at six," she called.

I checked the clock. Five fucking fifteen. Shit. I heard Bella turn on the shower and I smirked to myself. A shower with my girl might be just what I needed. I walked over to the door and jiggled the handle. Fuck.

She locked me out.

What the fuckity fuck?

I knocked lightly on the door, but got no response. So I fucking wailed on that shit. "BELLA! UNLOCK THE DOOR!"

"Can't." Her voice was muffled by the spray and the fucking locked door. "I'll be out in a bit."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. There was nothing I could do about it, so I just sat back and waited. For half a fucking hour. She finally walked out and looked at me, quizzically. "Why aren't you ready?"

I brushed past her and slammed the bathroom door. Fuck that shit; she was definitely playing a game now. I laughed to myself as I stepped under the spray. That's exactly how our relationship started, and apparently that was the way it was going to end. I never realized, before Bella, that you really didn't have any say in who you gave your heart to, or who you end up loving. It just fucking sucked that she had taken both of those things from me. What's even worse (and possibly masochistic) was that I didn't want them back. It was almost like I was supposed to give them to her, and to take them back would be like... defying nature.

And apparently, it would also defy nature for Bella to actually fucking wait for me. By the time I got out of the shower she was already gone, and when I got down to the restaurant she was laughing with my parents. Well fuck her for being happy while heart was in a shambles. Two could play that game Swan. i scooted in next to her and said hello to both my parents. Her hand brushed up against my thigh, but I ignored her. I didn't need that shit, and it was easy to pretend that she wasn't there. It was almost as though we'd never done anything; like I hadn't any feelings with her. That is, until my mother had to bring up her love life.

"Bella, did you end up seeing that boy after we spoke?" My head twisted around to Bella who's lips were pulled up in a smirk.

"No. He wound up with the blonde girl who was all over him at the drink station."

My mother nodded, as my father looked on disinterestedly. "Lucky bastard." I muttered.

Her head whipped around toward mine and her eyes were boring into me. "Edward!" My mother chided, but I brushed her off.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bella asked, her voice icy and venomous.

I shrugged, "I don't know. Nothing, I guess. Did you need me to give you some... private time later?"

My father chuckled a bit under his breath, and I heard my mother click her tongue disprovingly. But it was Bella who responded.

**BPOV**

"No, but do _you_?" I asked pointedly.

He smirked, pausing to take a sip of water before answering. "Maybe. Are you offering?"

"Well, I just wanted to be gracious. Although perhaps you'd rather go to _her_ room. She looked 18, maybe she has her own room." I snapped.

Esme cleared her throat before Edward could respond. "Edward, what about you? Bella said you were getting friendly with one of the girls at the beach this afternoon too?" She asked, moving him to the hot seat.

He shrugged, looking down at the table and not once over at me. "I met a few people. It's hard to keep track."

"Oh..." Esme's voice trailed off. "Bella made it seem as though there was one in particular when you two were at the beach that caught your eye." She commented looking from him to me and back again.

"There was one... but she didn't seem too interested. I'm wondering if maybe I've been wasting my time." He added softly, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

I dug my nails into my thigh to distract me from the pain my heart.

"Excuse me, a moment." I said standing up and sliding off my chair not waiting for an answer as I walked quickly outside into the fresh air.

**EPOV**

I had pushed it, I knew, but you know what? At that point I was finding it hard to care. She was completely manipulating shit and I was tired of it.

I felt my mother's hand swat me from across the table. "Go. After. Her."

I scoffed, "Why? She'll be fine."

"Edward," My father started, "Bella's in a cast, she vulnerable and alone. Don't forget that the poor girl's just lost her parents. She's more emotionally confused than you could possibly imagine. So, get off your butt and go after her."

I groaned and rolled my eyes, but nonetheless, I stood up and went out in search of Bella.

She hadn't gone far; she was sitting on the edge of the patio, her feet dangling off. I plopped down beside her, "So who is he?"

"Who is who?"

I rolled my eyes, "The guy, Bella. Who is he? Don't you think I deserve to know?"

The look of confusion on her face was priceless. "What?" she thought for a moment, before pointing over her shoulder back to the restaurant. "Oh... oh! The guy your mom was talking about?"

I raised my eyebrow, "Was there another?" If she said yes, I swear I would have died right then.

"You." she said quietly, her eyes shifting down to her lap.

Well that made me feel like shit. But at the same time, I was still fucking pissed. She'd been pretty cold, and I wanted answers. "Then what the fuck's the problem? Why are you running around like a moody shrew?"

"What the fuck is _my_ problem? Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize I was supposed to be okay with my boyfriend being touched and flirting with hot girls in thong bikinis. My fault."

I shook my head and laughed darkly. "Bella, you need to get your shit straight. How do you know she was even wearing bottoms?"

Her eyes shot up to meet mine, and I instantly regretted the words when I saw how red her eyes were. They shifted back to the waves breaking on the coast as she sopke softly. "I can't... I can't do this Edward. I'm not strong enough."

I'm pretty sure I died a little right then. "W-what do you mean?"

"I c-can't keep fighting with you over stupid shit like some girl flirting with you, or some guy talking to me. I'm not strong enough to put my fucking heart through daily rigmarole over our relationship. I.. I lo-... I mean," she shook her head and let out a heavy sigh, "you may be okay with arguing all the time, but I can't do it anymore."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. Did we suddenly switch bodies while I wasn't looking? "Bella, I _hate _arguing with you like this. It fucking sucks, but you haven't seemed to notice that you haven't put jack shit on the line. I've been up there, telling you that I love you and you do what? Give me head? Not good enough. I want your heart."

Her eyes went wide as she stared back at me. "And you don't think you have it? You don't think that I fucking care about you? I put _everything_ on the line Edward. I just about _told_ your mom about us this afternoon I was so disoriented after watching you laugh with that girl. When was the last time _we_ laughed? We don't! We fight, we make up, we fight again. Wash, rinse fucking repeat. You fucking have my heart. I'm sorry if you want me to say something that I'm fucking terrified to say. I'm sorry that me telling you that you have my heart isn't fucking enough. I'm sorry that as each day passes I realize that despite whatever the fuck you say to the contrary I'm _not_ enough. Not the way I look, not the way I act, not the way I fucking give you _every_ part of me and yet you say I've given you nothing! I'm sorry I can't be strong and say what you need me to say just because you need me to say it. But you have it, my entire fucking heart. And I'm sorry if just knowing it, and having it out there and not saying the fucking words isn't enough!"

I grabbed her face roughly in my hands. She was talking shit. Fuck that. "Stop it. Don't ever say shit like that to me again. I don't give a flying _fuck _ what anyone else thinks. I can't make it any clearer than this: I. Don't. Care. You are enough because I say so.

You're mine, and who the fuck else do you have to please? The answer? Just me. Don't listen to anyone but me, Bella. You're enough... you're all I want. That's it. I don't care if you're a vapid harpie or a prudish book worm. If it's you, I want it. You can re-invent yourself a hundred thousand times, but understand that I will love you no matter what. Does it piss me off that you won't say it? You bet your sweet ass, but you know what? If I knew that I had you, I could handle it. For a while, I could handle it."

She grabbed onto my wrists, rubbing her thumbs along the inside. "Edward, you have me. You're the only one I want, the only one I've _ever_ wanted. You will _always_ have me. Where else am I going to go? I can't go fucking anywhere without my heart, and you have it. And I want you to have it, forever if you want."

I closed my eyes, leaning my forehead to hers. "Then trust me, okay? Just please believe me when I tell you that I want you. It doesn't matter who's talking to me, because the only person I see is you. Only you, Isabella. Please, you have to believe me."

**BPOV**

I sighed feeling his breath fan my face. "I do believe you. And I do trust you, I just don't trust _them_. Just... I don't know, could you tone down the sexiness a _little_ bit please? Just to sooth my ego for a day?"

He laughed and pressed his lips against the bridge of my nose. "Baby, I'll cut off half my face if you want. Just tell me what you need, and you'll have it."

"I need... I need you to be patient with me, like you have been. I know I'm a hot mess, and I know I've got so many issues that your dad probably couldn't even diagnose me correctly. But know that even though I can't say the words doesn't mean I don't. And you have my heart... it's just going to take me a little bit of time to vocalize it in 3 easy steps."

"Then in the meantime, you need to have a little more faith, okay? I'm not going to get seduced and hook up with random chicks because you haven't said it. Like I said, Bella, I love you. And when you hurt, I hurt."

My lips pressed against his softly and lingered for awhile as he moved his nose against mine. "No matter what, I'm yours and your mine right?"

He leaned his lips into my neck, placing a gentle kiss just below my earlobe. "No matter what."

I felt my heart relax at his response and sighed. His arms slid around my waist and pulled me closer. I looked up at him and his green eyes were burning holes into my skin. I wanted to say it but there was still that tiny part of me, the one that was getting smaller every day that I was with him, that was convinced that I was just reading too much into his words or hearing what I wanted to hear. My arms wrapped around his neck and we just stood there, wrapped up in each other for what felt like hours. My world was Edward and I let myself get lost in it.

"Ahem..." a voice echoed in the distance. My eyes sprang open as Edward pulled away reluctantly. "Hi dad."

**EPOV**

I sighed and turned back to my father as Bella sat straight up, looking out over the ocean. I knew she'd be beet red. I laughed to myself and my father quirked an eyebrow, smiling. "Everything okay out here?"

"We're fine. She was just upset, but it's fine now. No harm done." I let my foot move over to hers and give it a nudge. "We'll be back in a minute."

"No need," My father said, putting his hands in his pockets as a knowing smile crept across his face. "Actually your mother and I were going to... uh, turn in. She's, um, she's not feeling well."

"Oh my God..." Bella whispered.

I was just disgusted. I did not need to know this. It was definitely too much information. I ran a hand through my hair, "You done?"

He turned a light shade of pink, and averted his eyes. "Um, well, I just wanted to let you know that if you wanted to go back in for dinner, just charge it to your room. Anything you'd like."

I gave a single nod, "Thanks, Dad."

"No problem, Son. Glad you're feeling better, Bella. Goodnight kids." He retreated quickly, and I smiled as I turned back to Bella.

"Hey, baby?"

"Yeah?" She said, turning toward me. Her features were calm now, and I was happy that she was alright. I needed her to be alright.

"Do you think you'd want to get some dinner with me tonight?" I felt a crooked smile fill my face, "You know... if you don't have any plans."

She chuckled to herself, smiling back at me. "I think I might like that."

I leaned in and kissed the corner of her mouth. "Good."

We stood and I helped her into the restaurant. Let me tell you, it was a beautiful fucking feeling to be able to walk into that place with her hand in mine, not caring who saw us.

"Are you okay with this?" I asked softly, lifting our intertwined hands to show her.

She smiled and kissed the back of my hand, "More than okay."

I smiled back at her as we were seated, and even when she was sitting across from me, it was as though none of the other shit had ever happened. I liked it like this; I liked it when we could be us.

"Hey, Baby?" I asked, leaning over the table to her. She did the same. "Where do you want to do it?"

She cocked her head to the side, her brow knitted together in confusion. "Do what?"

I raised an eyebrow, giving her my best smirk. "Fuck."

She blushed a light crimson, but leaned in closer. "Would I be a complete slut if I said under this table?" I felt her foot start to migrate up and down my calf and I had to stifle my moan.

"No. But I don't think we could be quiet enough. Baby, when I fuck you I fully intend to make you scream. There won't be anything quiet about it. I promise."

She was starting to breath a little bit heavier, and I fucking loved that I had that effect on her. "I wouldn't expect anything less. But I am completely okay with being evicted from the restaurant for disturbing the peace..." The shit eating grin on her face had me thinking of it. Then I thought of something.

I leaned into her, taking the hand that been holding up her chin and lacing my fingers in it. "Do you have a condom with you?"

**BPOV**

**  
**Holy shit. He was maybe serious. Possibly. My jaw mentally dropped as I shook my head. "No, but there's a 7-11 down the road... walking distance."

He squeezed his hand around mine and tilted his head to the side. "You up for it?"

I felt like a kid who just got told there were two fucking Christmases. I lowered my mouth to our entwined hands and nipped at one of his knuckles. "I think the better question is, are _you_?"

"I'm always up for you." He grinned, turning up his lips into that sex-personified smirk.

My cheeks heated at his words and I slid out of my seat, tugging at his arm as he got up. Here now, it was just he and I. I pulled my hand away from his and wrapped my arms around his neck kissing him as if there were no tomorrow. And for the first time since this whole thing began, I didn't care who saw us or what anyone thought.

He was mine and I fucking loved my Edward.

**EPOV**

If I had known that _this_ was the reaction I was going to get, I would've come on to her a long ass time ago. I squeezed my arms around her waist tighter, and felt her tits press into me. Fuck, I loved that shit. I let my hands slide down her back, and she thrust her hands in my hair. Fuck. I tore my lips from hers, and pressed quick kisses all over her face.

"Baby, we gotta get out of here unless you want me to fuck you up against that pillar."

She moaned and tugged my hair, "I can't wait... please..."

I kissed her hard on the lips. We weren't going to make it to the drug store, that was for sure. Hell, I wasn't even sure if I was going to make it upstairs. My eyes snapped open and I broke away from her.

"Condom machine. In the bathroom by the locker rooms."

"Then why are we still standing here?" Can't argue with logic like that. She grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the restaurant so that we could bolt down stairs and into the men's room. We were alone, finally, and I could have her. To say I was excited would be an understatement. I handed her a quarter and she put it in the thing and retrieved the wonderful little foil package. I fucking loved that thing. She locked the door and tossed the condom onto the counter before she wrapped her arms around me again and kissed me. I pulled her back into my arms and let her deepen the kiss, moaning into her mouth.

"Shit, Baby." I said as she pulled away and began planting kisses across my jaw and neck. "I can't wait to be inside of you... to feel you tremble around my cock."

She moaned into my skin, her hands beginning to roam lower and lower on my stomach. I pulled her face back up to mine and kissed her passionately. We were doing this; I was going to have her. I wanted to have her. I wanted to give her what she wanted most. And apparently that was me. At that moment, it didn't matter if she was using me, or if she left me tomorrow. I was thrilled that I was going to lose it to her; that (in some weird way) I would be with her forever. She would always be mine because she would be my first. I moaned into her mouth at the thought, and I felt her hands reach down to squeeze my throbbing cock through my pants.

"Mine." She said, smiling devilishly.

I nodded, and brushed my lips to hers. "Yours."

I kissed her again, and her hands went to work, ridding me of my pants and boxers. She wrapped one hand around my shaft, and my eyes snapped shut as I tossed my head back.

"Fuck, Bella." She began to stroke me slowly, her thumb swiping across the head to gather the precum as she worked me. I brought my hands up to cup her face and went back to kissing her, appreciatively because I knew what the fuck she was about to do. And fuck, I loved it. She broke away first, smiling lazily at me and dropped to her knees. She slid her hands down my stomach to my thighs before finally coming back to my cock. I had to lean over and put my hands on the counter just to steady myself.

"Edward," She purred, running her fingers up and down my length as she peppered random kisses on my cock. "I can't wait to taste you. I love the way it feels when you fuck my mouth."

"Take it, Baby." I said, completely ready for this. "Take my cock down your throat."

As I said the words, I felt the moist heat of her mouth around me. I could _never_ get tired of the way that she felt; a hand, twisting around the base as her mouth moved around the rest, swirling her tongue and scraping her teeth. I moaned and put one hand on the back of her head, lacing my fingers through her hair.

"FFuuuuucccckkkkk, Baby. If your pussy feels half as good as your mouth, I need to be in you. Soon."

**BPOV**

"Mmm..." I moaned onto his cock. His dick was fucking incredible and I couldn't wait to feel it buried inside me. Just the thought was making me soaking wet. I pulled my mouth from his erection and stroked him hard as my other hand reached up and fondled his sac. His eyes were shut and his lips slightly parted. His hand massaged my scalp roughly. His eyes opened slightly and he looked down on me.

"You okay?" He panted. It was fucking adorable that he was worried about me at the same time he was fucking my face. I nodded. "I just wanted to see what I did to you."

He smirked his signature "bring Bella to her knees" grin. "I think the proof is at eye level baby." I let out a puff of air and rolled my eyes. My lips lowered back to his dick and I took just the tip in my mouth and sucked as hard as I could as my hand pumped, squeezed and pulsed around the rest of his shaft. He let out a throaty groan. "Fuck Bella, shit you feel good."

My fingernails dragged lightly across his sac before cupping them and squeezing. "Fuck... oh fuck...oh fuck..." he panted rapidly. I heard him gulp down air and knew he was close. My mouth surrounded his dick and I took as much of him as I could. I felt his tip bumping the back of my throat and I exhaled slowly out of my nose to relax the muscles. He mumbled something I couldn't quite catch and I pulsed my hand around his balls again. "Fuck, shit... fuck Bella... you need to stop. Fuck, before I cum down your hot little throat."

I pulled him out slowly, grazing my teeth along his shaft. He clenched he jaw and groaned again gripping my hair tightly. I sat between his knees, not moving as he reached towards the sink for the foil wrapper. While he tried to rip it open without tearing the actual condom, I played "beat the clock" in my head as I stripped down in record time. I had thrown off my top, bra and had just wiggled out of shorts when he finally tore it open. He set it down beside him, not removing it from the wrapping. He eyes raked over my body and I bit my lip self-consciously. He reached out for me and pulled me closer to his body.

"You are the most beautiful girl I've ever see or ever will see. I love you Bella." I felt the blush creeping back to my cheeks and I lowered my face to kiss him sweetly. He tasted like salt air and mint. Fucking delicious. His fingers hooked into my underwear as he leaned his head back and looked up at me. "May I?"

I smiled and nodded slowly. He smiled earnestly and he looked so innocent, so fragile. Like _I_ could break him. His fingers tugged at the fabric and dragged my underwear below my hips and down my thighs. They pooled at my feet and I stepped out of them. I ran a hand through my hair nervously as he continued to stare at my body. "Fuck my body needs to be in you." He breathed out, as his eyes scanned from my knees up to my face. He reached for the condom and I grasped his wrist.

"What?" He asked quickly. "Are you.. I mean, did you want to st--" I interrupted him by pushing my lips against his. His tongue snaked out and parted my lips diving into my mouth. My left hand slid up to cup his jaw and I moaned into the kiss, slowly pulling away. "I wanted to put it on you." I whispered against his mouth.

He exhaled loudly through his nose. "You can't even begin to comprehend how hot that sounded." He said huskily. I reached for the condom package in his hand and pulled out our saving grace. I shoved my lips against his feverishly as my hand reached down to put it on him. I refused to pull my lips from his or not have his tongue massaging mine so after a few seconds of fumbling around I felt his hand reach down to help me. I mewed at the contact and he moaned into my mouth as we both slid a hand down his cock. I pulled my lips from his gasping for breath as I straddled him. One of his hands slid from the sides of my breasts down to my hips and his other moved up to cup my cheek. I leaned my forehead against his and sighed.

"Is this okay, are you ready? Is this what you want?" He whispered as his warm breath brushed over my lips.

I nodded, and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, murmuring, "this is what I've always wanted. This, you... is all I'll ever want." I took his face in both my hands and his other hand slid down to grip the other side of my hip.

"I love you," he breathed as his lips reached for mine and pulled my bottom lip into his mouth. I hovered just above his tip dragged my slit across the head of his cock. His fingertips gripped my hips harder and he grunted as his tip circled my clit. I gasped and he released a breath into my mouth. He kept rubbing my clit with his tip and I was losing my fucking mind. "Edward, fuck you feel good. Please.. just fuck me.. _please_..." I panted against his lips. "God Bella... Shit... Fuck." He grunted breathing heavily. His shoulders dropped and his grip on my hips lessened. One of his hands shot to his hair and he tugged at it as he shut his eyes tightly. "Fuck Bella, I'm sorry."

**EPOV**

Fucking fuckity shit balls.

I put my hands up to my face, completely embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn't even give her the one thing she fucking wanted. What the hell was wrong with me? Some boyfriend I was turning into. I felt her hands come up to my face, which made me groan again. I was so fucking pissed at myself. She was in front of me, completely naked and I couldn't take her, even though I wanted to. What the fucking hell was wrong with me.

"Hey," She said, her voice soft. "What is it? Are you okay?"

I seriously wanted to just die. I couldn't believe that I'd done this to her; I completely fucked shit up. When I didn't respond she looped her arms around my neck, and I buried my head in her shoulder and clung to her. All I wanted was to be close to her; to be inside her, to be part of her. But no. My motherfucking cock had other ideas. I felt her hands twist into the hair at the nape of my neck, and her hips started to moved along my now flaccid length.

"Oh," she said softly, freezing against me. I knew she'd be pissed. This was the one thing she wanted and I couldn't even give it to her. What a motherfucking failure.

"Bella, I'm so sorry... I wanted to... I wanted this..."

"Oh, it's okay. Don't worry about it; shit happens." It didn't escape my notice that she had yet to relax into me, and that she seemed more stunned than pissed.

"But--"

"No, really. It's fine, Edward." She pulled away and reached down, pulling the condom off of me, trying not to let the cum that was pooled inside leak out.

"I'm so sorry, Baby. Please, forgive me."

She wrapped the condom in a paper towel and put it on the counter before putting her hands to my face. "There's nothing to forgive. It's fine. We can try again." She hesitated, and pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, not making eye contact. "Please say we can try again."

I waited for her eyes to shift back to mine before I pressed her lips roughly to mine, parting them quickly with my tongue. I let them dance together for a while before I pulled away, staring into her eyes. "Get me hard, and I'll get you off."

She smiled back at me, "Do you have another quarter?"

I nodded and got another quarter from my pants pocket. She took it from me, and fuck did she look good. It took everything I had in me to stay where I was so that she could retrieve the fucking thing. She twisted the knob around a couple times but nothing happened. She tried again. Nothing. Once more. Nothing.

"Baby, do you need another quarter?" I asked, already reaching for my pants.

"No," she said sadly. "It's out."

I stopped dead in my tracks. "What?"

She turned slowly, sadness seeping from her every feature. "It's out. There aren't any left."

**BPOV  
**  
I couldn't hide the disappointment in my face if I tried. Edward was in front of me in an instant, his hands on either side of my neck. "Baby, I'm sorry... Fuck, I'm so sorry... I can't believe I did that to you. Baby, I promise, we'll try again. As soon as we can get more, we'll try again."

I smiled brightly at his words. He wanted to try again. I shook my head. "Maybe it was a sign that you were right all along. Waiting for the right time and all that." I kissed his chin and the spot just below his bottom lip, where his skin creased.

He sighed heavily, and his lips rounded into a pout. "But I wanted this; I want you, and it just sucks that it's the one thing you've ever asked of me that I couldn't do for you. I'm so fucking sorry, Bella."

"Edward it's okay, really. I wanted this too, and we'll have it. We'll destroy both our beds, and the rest of our furniture from fucking so much and so hard. But for now this... it's okay; we're okay." I sighed and slid my hands from around his neck down his chest. "For now, let's just get dressed okay? I don't know if I'll be able to stand looking at your naked body much longer without wanting to try again, condom or no condom."

"I love you." He said gripping my face in his hands. "Please... remember that. Please?"

I bit my lip trying to contain the smile that spread over my face every time he said it. "I know Edward. And I lo-- you have my heart." I sighed, leaning into his touch.

**EPOV**

Not gonna lie, I didn't feel like I deserved for her to love me then.

Why should she? All she wanted was one fucking thing; the one thing that, as a teenage boy, I should be able to give her in a heartbeat. But no. No. What an epic fucking fail. I let her go and we dressed in silence, not touching or talking to each other. I unlocked the door and let Bella out. I watched her back, doing my job and making sure that she didn't trip. I was used to it; this was what I was supposed to do anyway. I watched as she turned her head from side to side, until finally she stopped and turned back to me, her hand outstretched. "Hold my hand?"

"Sure, Baby." I closed the gap between us and took her hand in mine. She kept eye contact as she brought my hand to her lips and kissed each of the knuckles gently. I smiled at her and let her guide me to the elevator where she surprised me yet again. She dropped my hand and instead of pulling away, she wrapped her arms around my waist and leaned her head against my chest. I couldn't help but to pull her in tight and press a small kiss into her hair. I did love her after all. We awkwardly stepped into the elevator, neither one wanting to break our hold. She pushed the "5" and sighed into my chest.

"I love you," I murmured, more to myself than to her.

"I know," she whispered, fisting her hands in my shirt. "And you have no idea how happy I am for that fact."

"It is a fact. It will always be a fact."

She hummed contentedly, pressing a kiss to the spot over my heart. "Thank you."

I was about to lean down and kiss her, but elevator lurched to a stop before I had a chance. She leaned up and quickly kissed the underside of my jaw before pulling away. I should've kept my arms wrapped tightly around her, but I didn't. I let her go. This whole thing was my own fucking fault.

We got back to the room and I stripped down while Bella was in the bathroom and flopped into bed. I sighed and turned off the light, not bothering to wait for her. She was probably royally pissed at me anyway. I rolled away from the bathroom door when I heard it open, not wanting to watch her reject me outright. But instead, she crawled into bed with me; tugging on my shoulder and making me turn back over to face her. She ran her fingers carefully over my face, pushing the hair off of my forehead and out of my eyes.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked, concern etched in her voice.

"I'm mad that I let you down."

Her eyes went wide, and she looked shocked. "You didn't."

I sighed, and shifted my eyes from hers. "You don't have to pretend. It's okay, Bella. I can take it. Just don't pretend, okay?"

"I'm not pretending anything Edward. We tried, and it didn't happen tonight. I'm just really fucking happy we tried."

I looked back up at her hopefully, "Really?"

She nodded, a goofy grin splayed across her face. "Yea, really. I wanted to be with you and you wanted it too. That makes me ridiculously god damn happy." I kissed her forehead then pulled her into my chest. "You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that."

She shifted herself against my chest so that she was tucked in as close as humanly possible. "You're my everything Edward. Now that I know it's not a matter of _if_, but rather _when_... the when doesn't seem as important. All that matters is that it's you and me. Always."

I sighed and kissed the top of her head. "Let's go to sleep. I'm tired from all of this epic heartfail."

She tilted her head up and her brow furrowed, "Heartfail? Did I do something?"

I met her lips with my own and kissed her softly. "No. I just hate fighting with you. But I'm glad we're okay now."

She nodded, tucking her head back under my chin. "More than okay... this might be the best we've ever been."

I chuckled to myself. "I think so too."

Bella fell asleep a few minutes later, and I have to admit, in those moment that she was wrapped in my arms, with the faint sound of the waves lapping against the shore, it was easy to forget that we'd ever had any problems. I could let myself escape in a delusion where I didn't have to hide my love for her, and she never doubted how much I wanted her. By the time I fell asleep, I was as confused as ever. It made me wish that my perfect world did exist.

And then I remembered: It did.

It existed with Bella.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N hoes:

Kels, I think this chap might be like... legit made of awesome

Um, kinda maybe a little bit... yeah. Though it's not made of all the awesome. There isn't a rooster.

*snort*. Yeah, kels, I legit snorted when I read that one. And this is true; this chap isn't epic because there isn't a rooster. Nor a cock fight.

Well there _could_ be a cock fight. Maybe. Dammit, I don't want us to give shit away...

Yeah, because you know those cock fights... MAJOR plot points. Not like in the original, to which smeyer owns the rights.

Right, but like really neither are any of the fruit baskets then since there weren't any it her story.

Dude, our fruit kicks ass... she wishes she had fruit like ours.

Yeah screw milkshakes, our _fruits_ bring all the boys to the yard and damn right it's better than... hers?

Well, since she doesn't have any, then duh.

Right, well what about reviews? Reviews are like a box o' chocolates.

Reviews are awesome... and I think this chap deserves a shit ton. Right, Kels?

Def. Though, can I just add... if you hate our story, why read it all? I mean c'mon it's like 20 chapters, don't waste your time reading it if you hate it and then leave an essay of a nasty review. Nasty reviews piss us off and makes us not want to finish this shit.

That is a fact. And no name calling, that's just not polite.

Right and we're all about polite. Obviously.

Duh ;-)

* * *

**BPOV**

I curled into Edward's body even more as my eyes blinked open slowly. The moon was streaming through our thin curtains and it looked like we were under a mellow spotlight. Edward's arms wrapped around mine tightly and my back was flush against his chest, his cheek resting on top of my head. I loved that we slept like this. That even when weren't conscious of it, we had to be touching. I rolled away slowly pulling my head back and watching his droop down a bit. He stirred and reached for me, as his face nuzzled into the pillow. I scooted my body closer and his arm grabbed my waist, sliding me back to him.

"Where were you going?" He murmured, his voice thick with sleep. His eyes were still closed and I couldn't tell if he was half awake or fully.

"No where." I answered looking at him and tracing his jawline with the tip of my finger.

"Mmm, good."

I moved my face closer to his and pressed my lips against his softly. He caught me off guard by kissing back.

"I love you." He whispered as I pulled my lips from his. His arms wrapped around my body fully in a hug and he pressed me back against his body.

I hummed into his chest and he nuzzled his nose in my hair. "My Bella, mine." He declared groggily, pressing a kiss on my head.

My Neanderthal. My Edward. Mine.

**EPOV**

We'd been good since yesterday, and I was so fucking happy about it. She was curled up into me and I couldn't help but notice how perfect she felt in my arms. I wanted her there always. I woke up first, and leaned back a bit to watch her sleeping in my arms. Her hair was a nest on top of her head, her cheeks were flushed and she was even drooling a little bit. So basically, she was fucking perfect. I reached up and pushed her hair away from her face, and she wiggled back into me. Now, I'm not a fucking rocket scientist, but this felt like love. Maybe, even if she hadn't yet said the words, she felt it. Maybe it was only a matter of getting her to realize it.

So that would be my mission: getting Bella to realize that what we have is love.

I sighed and kissed the top of her head. "Mmm, Edward..." she mumbled. That shit made my cock twitch. I loved it when she moaned my name. I only hoped that she'd do it when I was buried inside her. I laughed at my joke. I'd make sure she did.

I squeezed her a little bit harder, and kissed her forehead. "Baby... baby... wake up."

"Mmmmm...." She moaned as I kissed my way down her face and neck.

"We can order breakfast." I said into her skin as I pulled down the collar of the tee shirt she was wearing so I could kiss along her collar bone.

Her hands came up to rake lazily through my hair, "What could we have?"

I kissed through the cotton until I got to her stomach where I pulled it up to expose her skin."Whatever you want, baby."

"Hmm," she murmured as I kissed up to the bottom of her tits. "Waffles?"

I let my hands swipe across her breasts and smiled up at her. "Sounds good. I'll order."

The food came a little while later, and we sat in bed eating and found a channel that was playing the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

She grabbed her juice off of the nightstand and took a sip before she spoke. "So, when we're like crazy older is this how we're gonna tell our kids we spent our first Thanksgiving together?" There was a sly smirk on her lips and I wanted to kiss it off.

"Naked in bed eating waffles? Why the fuck not?"

"- In Hawaii. Naked in bed, eating waffles in Hawaii. And technically that's not true. You aren't naked and I still have underwear on..." She shook her head at me, "Tsk tsk Edward, already lying to the children."

I raised an eyebrow, "Hey, the kids love me. Especially when _I _save them from your cooking." I laughed to myself as I ate another forkful of waffle.

"You've never had my cooking. How would you know you wouldn't just be _depriving _them?"

I laughed and smeared some whipped cream on her neck. I leaned my head into her neck, my mouth positioned just above the trail I'd made. "Because baby, of the many wonderful things you can do with your hands, I have a feeling cooking isn't one of them." I leaned down and sucked on her neck to make sure I got all of the cream off. She tilted her head back to give me better access and so I made sure I did a good job. I sat back up, grinning like an idiot.

She was breathing rapidly, but managed to give me a sly smile. "Then maybe I should stick to what I'm good at." All of a sudden, her fingers were hooked in the front of my boxers and she'd pulled me closer to her.

I let my lips hover just above hers, "Baby, you're good at everything." I pressed my lips to hers, and let her hands come up to thread in my hair as she tugged gently. I swiped my tongue across her lips and she opened her mouth to me.

Yeah, my baby was good at _everything._

**BPOV**

I sighed into his mouth and let my hand dip into his boxers wrapping around his shaft. He moaned against my lips as I swiped my thumb across his tip, pulsating my hand just below it. His mouth left my lips to wander down my jaw and neck. I continued stroking him in his boxers and his hips began bucking against my hand. "Fuck baby that feels good.." he groaned into my ear as he sucked various places on my neck.

And then there was a knock on the fucking door. "Edward? Bella?" Esme's voice rang out on the other side. Edward pressed his forehead into my shoulder. "Shit." I laughed quietly, whispering in his head. "You realize your parents just cock blocked me, right?"

He lifted his head and smirked. "Oh, I'll cockblock _you_."

I rolled my eyes, laughing as I pushed him away from me and got up from the bed scrambling to find pants. "Coming Esme!" I shouted as I wiggled into a pair of shorts. I heard the bathroom door click and sighed. Right Edward, leave me to fend off the masses. As I crossed the small patch of carpet towards the door I heard the shower turn on. My lips turned from a scowl to a full blown smile. T minus 30 seconds to shoo away his parents.

"Bella!" Esme exclaimed wrapping her arms around me. "How was last night? I'm really sorry we left you so abruptly. It's just we had to... get up early." She said blushing bright pink. Ew and double ew. I smiled and pretended that I hadn't heard a completely different reason from Carlisle the night before.

"It was fine Esme. I was just emotional, the heat makes me kinda loopy."

Her face fell. "That sounds like dehydration dear. Make sure to drink plenty of water. Tell Edward to keep on top of that."

I nodded as she peered into the room. "Is Edward here?"

"He's in the shower." I spit out quickly realizing only one of the beds was unmade.

"Hm." She said looking at the beds before glancing at me. "Well, remind him about the water for me then." She replied smiling sweetly.

Fuck. Shit. She knew. Fuck.

"I'm glad one of you is still keeping tidy while on vacation." she mentioned offhandedly.

"What?"

"Your bed. It's already made; just like it is at the house."

Fuck, she _totally_ knew.

"Mom and dad's influence I guess."

She nodded, before seeming to snap out of a daze. "At any rate, Carlisle and I are going to head into the city center to do some sightseeing and shopping. Do you and Edward want to join us?"

I shook my head quickly. "No. I mean... I think Edward and I were going to look into renting out a kayak."

"With a broken leg? Are you sure that's safe Bella?"

Shit. Fuck. Shit.

"Oh," I let out a puff of air, laughing. "Right..."

"Actually mom, Bella and I were going to be beach bums and get really sunburnt so we give off micro waves like an appliance when we get back to Forks." I heard Edward's voice echo behind me.

My savior. My life. Mine.

"Oh, well that sounds.. pleasant." Esme said shaking her head. "No need to lie to me Edward. If you two want to run off with your friends from yesterday go right ahead, just keep in touch with one another. And remember _family_ dinner at 7 tonight. It's Thanksgiving for heaven's sake." She rolled her eyes and threw her hands up a little. "And Edward, put on some clothes. Bella does _not_ need to see you wearing _that_." She demanded.

I couldn't help it. I turned around. And fuck, I shouldn't have. There was Edward dripping wet wearing only a white hotel towel that was wrapped low on his lips.

"Go into the bathroom and get dressed. I raised you better than to parade around a hotel room with a girl wearing that little."

"Mom, chill. It's fine. I'm going, I'm going." He said holding his hands up defensively and padding back into the bathroom.

"Sorry about that Bella."

I shrugged aloofly. "It's okay; I've seen better." Lie. Blatant fucking lie.

She laughed heartily and nodded. "I'm sure Edward's ego could use a comment like that now and again."

"Oh I keep him in check Esme, don't worry."

"I never do, when it comes to you two." Guilt. Massive fucking amounts of guilt.

I smiled and nodded. "So sorry about today, but we'll see you both tonight. At 7?"

She nodded. "Yes dear. Same restaurant as the first night we arrived. The one that overlooks the water."

"Great. Well I better get ready. Have plans with the boy and all." I said biting my lip and blushing.

She grinned and shook her head. "Young love, it's the cutest thing.... I'll see you this evening dear. Tell Edward to mind his p's and q's - especially around this young lady."

"I will."

She turned around and walked down the hall. Once I could no longer see her back, I closed the door and leaned against it. Young love.

Love. I was in love.

**EPOV**

I waited until the door clicked shut before I went back into our room. "Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't know my towel offended you."

"Well it does. So take it off."

I dropped it and smirked at her.

She sucked in a breath as her eyes raked across my body. "Shit Edward..."

I walked over to her and pulled her into my arms. "It's for you baby. Only for you." I kissed her, then let my head dip down to her shoulder. "I love you so much, Bella."

Her head came over to lean against mine and her arms drew lines up and down my back. Then suddenly her hands slapped my ass. "C'mon, Edward, let's get out there. I'm getting a glare off of your pale man ass."

I lifted my head from her shoulder as she wiggled out of my grasp and sauntered into the bathroom, throwing a devilish smirk to me over her shoulder. "I'll be out in a minute."

I laughed after her and ran a hand through my hair. Fuck, did I love that girl.

A few minutes later, we left our room and started walking down to the elevator.

"So, I was thinking," Bella said, taking my hand in hers-- WAIT. Shut the fuck up. What the hell is happening? I looked down and sure enough her fingers were laced with mine. This was blowing my fucking mind. Then I looked up at her face and realized that she was telling me shit. "... does that sound okay?"

So I pulled out the go-to guy line, "Whatever you want, Baby." I squeezed her hand in mine and she smiled up at me. My parents could show up at any moment and she wasn't batting a fucking eyelash. Fuck. This was amazing. The elevator arrived and we stepped inside, where she quickly looped her arms around my neck.

"Baby, I think you might be breaking the rules."

She shrugged and placed a kiss on my throat, gently sucking on my adam's apple "Maybe today I don't care about the rules."

Fuck if that didn't make me feel all warm and giddy inside. I loved her and she was getting there. She had to; I knew she had to. She wouldn't throw her carefully crafted rules to the wind for anything less. Now if only I could get her to realize it...

I groaned as she started nipping lightly at the skin on my neck, and then I couldn't take anymore. I leaned over and kissed her, letting my arms pull her up a little bit. Fuck, I just couldn't get enough of this girl. Her taste, the way she moaned against my lips as her tongue and mine moved against each other. I wanted her all the time, and I wanted her to want that, too. That was more important than anything else on the entire planet. Then I heard someone clear their throat behind us. Reluctantly, I pulled away from Bella who was still in my fucking arms and pressed against my chest. I looked over at the tiny little woman, dressed in a staff's uniform holding several pamphlets. "Well, I was just wondering if you two would want to sign up for a couples massage? You'd enjoy it."

Bella laughed and took the brochure from her and muttered a thank you to the girl. I laughed to myself and started rocking us as my cheek found the top of her head. This was fucking perfection: my girl in my arms, not giving a shit that there was another person in our space who would assume that Bella was my girl. Good, I hope she fucking told everybody.

The elevator lurched to a stop and I let go of Bella, but she just grabbed my fucking hand and led me into the lobby, then outside to the beach.

Fuck.

Maybe this was going to be easier than I thought.

**BPOV**

I loved this, not feeling constricted or forced to hide. I could sneer at every girl who looked twice at Edward and feel perfectly justified. He and I walked along the beach hand in hand and I had never felt happier. Well, except for every time he said he loved me; nothing could beat that feeling.

"I miss Smith." I said after we'd been walking in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close. "We could call him later. I'm sure the boy misses his Mama."

I leaned into his chest, "Emmett's probably brainwashed him. He's probably eating steroids in his puppy-chow and howling at Rose."

"Would you love him any less? If Smith were a beefed up wonder puppy?"

"No, of course not. Just like I wouldn't love - " I stopped myself. It was getting too easy for it to sputter out, but the fear kept holding me back. "Emmet. I wouldn't love Emmett any less if he stopped doing steroids."

"Emmett..." He scoffed under his breath.

I stopped dead in my tracks and he rubber-banded around at my sudden change of pace. I moved to stand in front of him and he looked down at me, a defeated look in his eyes. I pleaded with my gaze, begging him to understand. He let out a breath and leaned his forehead against mine, whispering "I'm sorry. I love you. I understand... it just got the better of me for a second."

My hand moved to cup his jaw and I pressed my lips against his softly. I wanted to say it. I needed to say it. He needed to hear it, to know it wasn't one sided. But it was stuck in my throat like a huge fucking vitamin, lodged in my esophagus and really uncomfortable. But I couldn't swallow it.

"So, what should we do now?" He asked resting his forehead back on mine and grinning.

"I liked your idea from yesterday. Can we just go back to the hotel room and stay in bed? I think I've explored enough of Hawaii for the day, but there's still a shit ton of exploring on _you_ that I want to do."

"Whatever you want, Baby, but... we still don't have _anything."_

My eyes widened a little. "I hadn't even meant... But did you... did you want to try again?"

He chuckled, pulling me closer to him "Of course. Don't you?"

I bit my lip trying to hide the gigantic fucking smile that instantly spread on my face. I nodded. I _definitely_ wanted to try again.

**EPOV**

I smiled down at her and grabbed her hand. "There's a drug store?"

"Yeah, just around the corner."

We were hand and hand in the lobby when I remembered her injuredness. "Baby, you gonna be okay to walk there?"

"Yea, I _should_ be fine. But who knows, it seems pretty far. Maybe I should find a boy to carry me..." She smirked up at me, and it was so on.

I raised an eyebrow at her and slid my arm down her side so that it was wrapped securely around her waist. "Your wish, love."  
"Hm. That was easy; in that case, I want a pony too."

I pressed a kiss to her temple and scooped her up. "That can be arranged."

She giggled and pushed her face into the crook of my neck, "well okay, maybe I don't want a pony; I'll settle for riding you instead."

I smirked, and gave her a squeeze. "Soon enough, Baby. Soon enough."

The fucking thing was maybe a three minute walk from the hotel. She could've walked it. Did I want her to? No fucking way. I wanted her with me, next to me, on me where she belonged at all times. I put her down a few feet away, and she laced her fingers with mine once more. Fuck, I couldn't keep taking this shit. I looked around for cameras. Obviously we were on candid camera.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked.

I looked down at her smiling face and was instantly happier. If that was even fucking possible. "Just looking around. I was wondering why you're being so... open."

She laughed a little and shook her head. "Would you rather I wasn't?"

I backed her up against the corner of the convenience store, my knee in between her legs. "No. But what would you do if I started kissing you here?"

I dipped my head down so that my lips could meet hers and hovered there. I felt her breath washing over my skin in quick bursts, and not gonna lie, I loved that I had that effect on her. "I think I'd be begging you not to stop." She whispered.

"Then I won't." I pressed my lips to hers at that; gently at first but then taking it father and swiping my tongue against her lips before she let me into that hot little mouth of hers. Fuck, I loved this shit. I pressed my upper body to hers and she wrapped her arms around my neck and thrust her hands into my hair and began to tug. I wrapped my arms around her waist to lift her a little, and she squeaked and I opened my eyes to make sure she was okay. And fuck me, was she. I pulled my lips from hers and began peppering kisses all along her cheeks and jaw. I loved the way she tasted, and I loved the way she mewled as I moved across her skin. It completely made all the bull shit worth it. But when I opened my eyes, I saw something not so nice. My mother. Or at least, I thought it was my mother. She was kind of far away, but she looked like my mom a bit. I thought momentarily about telling Bella, but then I felt her leg shift against my cock and I was all for keeping this shit going. I kissed her a few more times before pulling away, gasping for breath.

"We should go in before I fuck you here."

She nodded, so I let her go and we headed into the store. This should be fucking interesting.

**BPOV**

I walked down the far wall to grab a bottle of water while Edward scoured the aisles for condoms. I made my way over to him quickly, noticing that he looked really perplexed.

"What's wrong?"

"I... don't know which ones to get." He said honestly, reaching for a pack and examining them. "I've never bought a whole box of condoms before."

"Well isn't someone presumptuous?" I asked grinning and grabbing the box from his hand to read. He scoffed and shook his head. "Ribbed for her pleasure. Studded. Extra sensitive. Flavors. What the fuck, _flavors_? I doubt anyone is going to confuse my dick with..." he trailed off reading the box closely "a strawberry."

I laughed "yeah, plus I kinda like the way your face looks right after you realize I've swallowed every drop." His lips parted and he voice dropped. "Don't remind me of how hot that is Bella. Jesus, you're making me hard just thinking about it." His eyes fixated back on the box scanning it over. "Do you think they'll let us try on a few of these guys so we can make a decision?"

"What?" I asked, laughing.

"You know. Test drive the merchandise." He said, shrugging as if he was asking a legitimate question.

"I dare you to go ask them if you can get a practice run with a few of their condoms. If he says yes, I'll let you fuck me on their security cameras."

"Ooo, Kinky. I like it." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and grinned. "Baby, I'm thinking you've done this before."

I shook my head leaning up to whisper in his ear, "Nope, which will just make me that much tighter for you." He groaned and grabbed my hand, spinning us around towards the counter.

"Which ones did you get?" I asked as he riffled through his pocket for money.

He shrugged. "A black box."

"Edward, all but like two of them were in black boxes."

"Oh, sir -- sorry" the guy at the register interjected.

Edward looking up at him. "Hm?"

"Oh, this box.. these are expired. You might want to grab another box."

Edward laughed and nodded. "Thanks man. Bella?"

"I'm on it." I stated walking back towards the condom aisle.

After nearly 5 minutes of riffling through the small selection of condoms, I couldn't find any that didn't have an expiration of the current month - which I didn't want to risk - or had already expired.

"Love, what's taking you so long?" I heard Edward ask over my shoulder.

"They're all expired."

"What? All of them?"

I turned around to face him, pouting.

He stepped around me and flipped through them manically, muttering "fuck" and "shit" every other word.

"Edward, it's okay. We don't have --"

"No! No, _fuck that_ Bella. This is fucking ridiculous. All I want to do for the rest of this trip is pound the hell into you and have you cum all over my dick and we can't even manage _once_." He scolded.

I leaned my head back, trying to supress a laugh. He was being kind of ridiculous himself.

He grabbed an armful of condom boxes and strode up to the cashier; I hobbled as quickly as I could behind him.

"What the FUCK is this?!" Edward shouted at the poor teenager. "Fifty thousand boxes of condoms and not ONE that expires next month or later?!"

The cashier just shrugged. "Sorry dude. I guess we haven't gotten a shipment in awhile. There's another store closer to the city, about a 5 minute drive..." he trailed off pointing in the direction of the other store.

"Do I _look_ like I have 5 fucking minutes to drive to another store which will probably have the same shit merchandise?!" He yelled.

"Edward," I said softly.

He spun around to look at me. "No, no Bella this is _not_ fucking cool. This little dickwad is telling us to go somewhere ELSE. I should fucking _sue_!" He said turning around to stare at the kid "SUE! You hear me?!"

"For _what_ Edward?" I asked exasperatedly.

"For not allowing me to fuck my girlfriend in fucking Hawaii!" He yelled staring straight at the pimple faced pre-teen.

I started laughing... hard. He couldn't be serious.

"Listen, I can see why you're upset dude. I mean if I had a girlfriend that hot I know I'd be pissed if I couldn't fuck her either." The cashier retorded staring at me. Ew.

I could see his jaw clench and eye lower as he glared at the kid. "Excuse me, you prepubescent pimple? Were you making a pass at my girl?"

This was all too ridiculous. Like seriously. "Edward, come on let's just go." I urged grabbing his wrist.

"No, I want to know if this fucker was making a pass at you."

I moved closer to him and breathed in his ear. "Let's buy a can of whipped cream and you can use it on _any_ part of me." I breathed into his ear. His eyes widened and he turned to face me.

Fina-fucking-lly.

"Fucking Bullshit, Bella. It's like the second I decide to get on that shit, the entire fucking world--including my own dick-- is cock blocking me. What the fuck is up with that?" He asked, throwing his arm around my shoulders. His head snapped back to look at the cashier as we made our way to the door. "And you. Don't you dare look at my girl's ass as we walk away or I'll fuck your shit up."

I rolled my eyes and leaned my head against his chest, smiling. Edward, my ridiculous caveman.

**EPOV**

This was fucking ridiculous. How the fuck did this place not have any condoms? How the fuck was this possible? And why the fuck did this kid keep checking out my chick? Who the fuck did he think he was? Bella grabbed a can of whipped cream from the dairy section and I paid for it, staring down the stupid kid the entire time. He really didn't fucking get it, did he? I was ready to go over the counter and smack him around a bit, but Bella dragged me out of the store.

"You want me to carry you?" I asked, as we started back to the hotel.

She smirked up at me, "Would you rather just throw me over your shoulder?"

I laughed and pulled her into my side. "I could. Don't tempt me."

"I just might. I kind of like caveman Edward."

"You do? I thought you hated him."

She wrapped her other arm around me and kissed my chest. "You thought I hated you, remember?"

"Unfortunately." I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "But I'm glad I have you now."

She hummed contentedly and we walked back to the hotel and up to our room in a comfortable silence. A comfortable silence that was making me horny as hell. The way she rubbed up against me; the way she fucking breathed on me. It was all making me hard as hell. So the second I had her in our room, she was on her back in our bed. I moved my arms up and down her sides, letting my thumbs swipe at the undersides of her tits. That shit made her gasp into my mouth, so I made quick work of her top and mine. Nothing was going to get in between me and my girl. I started kissing my way down her body, and her hips started bucking up to me. I got off her jeans, so she was laying in front of me, in only her underwear, and I pulled down my pants and boxers. Fucking hell she was perfect.

"Edward... Edward..." She whispered.

"Yeah, Baby?" I did not want to talk right now. I wanted my shit to get acquainted with her shit so that they could be best friends and have pow-wows on a regular basis.

"Fuck me." I wanted to; Of course I wanted to.

"Baby, I don't have a rubber."

She groaned and shifted against me, "I don't care! I just want you in me, PLEASE!"

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. "Baby, I can't... What if you get pregnant? Then what?"

"Edward, I'm on the shot. The doc said that it was fine and just that I should use other forms of protection _just in case_. Please Edward, _please_ fuck me." He eyes were snapped shut as she begged for me to fuck her. And hell, I wanted to. But, I had two options: Blue ball it or knock my girl up. Fuck if I wanted either. Then I started thinking with my junk. I pressed hot, wet kisses to the spot just below her ear before I whispered, "Baby, as much as I'd love to cum inside you, I'd rather feel that hot little mouth of yours around my cock. Can I have that, Baby?"

She groaned and pushed me off of her, and for a second I thought I was in the dog house. But all of a sudden she was hovering above me. "You win this time. But I demand just retribution."

I laughed a little and slid my arms up and down her sides. "You'll have it, Baby. As soon as we can, I'm gonna fuck you so hard that you won't even know who you are anymore." I pulled her down into me, and kissed her hard on the mouth, but she broke away, kissing down my chest and scraping lines with her fingernails on the way down to my solid cock. Then she grabbed the whipped cream from the nightstand. My cock twitched. Fucking christ this girl was going to kill me. She shook the can a bit, giving me a sly smirk and I knew in that moment that I was in for it. She took off the cap and spray a stream of cream on the underside of my shaft. FFFFUUUUCCCCKKKK. She positioned herself in between my legs, and licked up the trail she had just made from balls to tip. I groaned and my head flew back involuntarily. Then I felt her tongue come out and trace circles around the head, until she got to the slit, where she gathered up the pre-cum. I almost blew my load right then, that was, until I felt her mouth come over me, and she started sucking on just the tip as she worked her tongue on the underside.

"Shit, Baby... fuck... that... that thing you're doing with your mouth... fuck...." Fuck, did that even make sense? Before I could analyze it too much, she was moving slowly down my shaft, gently scraping her teeth along the way. It was fucking perfection, then when she went back up, twisting her mouth along the way as her tongue traced the veins along the underside. She almost let me go, but instead, she went back down quickly and setting her pace. My hand (inevitably) found its way into her hair and I helped her bob along my length. But, Fuck, she didn't really need me at all. I wasn't going to last long; I knew it, and fuck, she knew it to because I felt one of her hands come up and start to swipe at my balls.

"Ungggggg, fuckk, Bellaaahhh..." Yeah, sentences we're my forte at that time. Soon enough, the swiping turned into tugging, and I felt my balls contract as I came into her mouth, holding her head in place. She sucked me dry, then cleaned me up, getting it all because that's just how awesome my girl is. She released me, then put a quick kiss on the head before crawling back up my body. She hovered over me for a second and her hair fell around us like a curtain. I swear, I wasn't saying this because she just blew me, but she really was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. She was so incredibly perfect it was hard to believe that she would want me. But fuck that, because she did. I laughed a little before pulling her down and kissing her.

"Baby...Baby, I love you. Nothing will ever change that... I fucking love you." Her eyes snapped shut and she wiggled into my arms. I held her close to my chest, and just let it be. For now, it was enough. I knew deep down that she loved me, so I could fucking wait for her to be ready to say it. I didn't want to force it out of her. I didn't want her to feel like she _had_ to tell me because then it wouldn't be real. She just had a hard time saying the words, and that's okay. I loved her regardless.

No matter what happened, I'd love her.

Always.

**BPOV**

I had fallen asleep easily in Edward's arms. I stirred a bit, opening my eyes slightly as I felt his fingertips tracing lines up and down my side. "Baby, I think we have to get up," he whispered into my hair. I grumbled muttering, "Why?"

He laughed pressing a kiss into my hair. "Because otherwise my parents will think we hate them."

I tightened my grip around his midsection and nuzzled my cheek into his chest. "Ten more minutes, then we'll shower." I felt him nod against me and pull my good leg between his. Nothing had ever felt more right, more real than _this - _Edward and I wrapped in each other. What a fucking moron I'd been to freak out over everything. Of course this shit made sense; it was just about the only thing that made sense anymore. I laid there against him thinking about all we'd been through since we met... then in just the last 2 months. It made no fucking sense that we could go from hating each other to being this in synch... the only thing that could account for it was love. I was in love with Edward and probably had been for a very, very long time.

My lips began placing open mouth kisses on a path from his chest up to his neck. He let out a ragged moan as I bit down at the place where his neck and shoulder met. "Edward you have my heart... always." I whispered into his ear. He rolled over so that our bodies were facing each other and smiled sweetly at me. "Mine too Baby." He brushed his lips against mine teasingly. His eyes locked on mine. "I love you Bella. I know I sound like a broken fucking record, but I do. You're a piece of me, a big piece, the best piece."

I swooned then and fucking there, for the billionth time. My hand reached up to caress his cheek with my thumb and I leaned in kissing him hard. My tongue slipped between my lips and against his. His mouth parted immediately and pulled my tongue inside, sucking on it softly. I moaned at the sensation and he released my tongue, lowering his lips to my ear. "I think it's time for me to give back..." he murmured, placing a soft kiss just below my earlobe. His hand that had been resting on my side, trailed down my hip and around to my sex, cupping it firmly. I let out a puff of air and his lips began sucking the spot where he had placed the kiss on my neck. His middle finger slid up and down my slit as my hips moved against his light touch. His finger finally slid all the way up and massaged my clit. "Ungh," I said unintelligibly. I felt him smile against my skin and continue to drag his lips over my neck and along my shoulder. "Every part of you, tastes amazing. Your skin..." his lips moved down my shoulder between my breasts and my breath hitched as his lips wrapped around one of my nipples. I arched my back into him as he bit down lightly. "Your tits..." he continued. He mouth moved further down and his tongue poked into my belly button. "Fuck, even your bellybutton is like honey to me..." he groaned, placing an open mouth kiss on it before moving further down. "But my favorite taste...is the way you taste when you cum for me." he hissed as his mouth wrapped around my clit. I whimpered and lifted my hips, trying to feel more of him. Two of his fingers ran up and down my slit as he continued to suck and nibble on my clit. "Please, Edward... oh god..." I breathed as he flicked my clit with his tongue. Fucking shit, I knew my body reacted extra sensitively to his touch, but _fuck_ when he did this when he made it clear it was like a fucking mission to get my off, fuck if it wasn't a huge turn on. Edward wanted to get me off; he got _turned on_ by making _me_ orgasm. His pushed his two fingers into me and continued his oral assault on my clit. My hips moved to his fingers' rhythm. "That's it baby, fuck my fingers." He hummed into my pussy. His lips trailed back up my body to my neck where he bit down roughly. "Guhhhhhhh," I groaned as his hands started moving faster in me. His lips made their way quickly back to mine and he shoved his tongue into my mouth. It wasn't gentle or patient; it was passionate and needy. I tasted myself on his tongue and I ground against his hand harder. His thumb moved to rub my clit as his fingers worked their magic. His lips and tongue moved frantically and hard against mine and I moaned into the kiss. He pulled his lips apart panting and staring at me. I was sure that my cheeks were pink, but as I felt his fingers curl and hit my sweet spot I lolled my head back and moaned. Who the fuck cared what color my cheeks were? All I cared about was him not ever stopping. He nipped at my throat and moved his head to hover over mine, reaching for my lips with just as much lust as before. My hands knotted into his hair and pulled. He groaned into the kiss and moved his free hand to grip my hip tightly as he shoved a third finger into me. "Unghh, Edward.. fuck... I'm so close..." I panted. His lips were just barely touching mine as he whispered, "then cum for me baby. Let go, give yourself to me. Tell me your mine, only mine and cum." His fingers curved against me again and I cried out. "Fuck Edward! Yes I'm yours... only.... ungh... yours..." His lips were on me in an instant and his tongue wrestled mine. His thumb pressed harder against my clit, rubbing it in circles quickly. I arched my back, my chest pressed solidly against his as I and moaned his name into the kiss as I let go. He placed a succession of quick kisses against my lips and down my neck, as I rode out my orgasm. As our breaths slowed, he moved his forehead to rest against mine.

"I fucking love it when you cum for me like that baby."

I laughed quietly to myself. "Well I'm not going to say I _hate_ it."

He grinned and kissed my lips lightly, letting them linger. "I love you."

I hummed in response and massaged his scalp with my fingers. He eyes closed slowly and his grin turned into an utterly content smile. I fucking loved that smile.

His eyes opened and he pulled away sitting up on his knees. "What time is it?" I asked as I saw his eyes peer over to the nightstand.

"Almost 5. So we have time to shower."

"One shower or two?"

His face fell a little. "Two, I guess..."

I sat up, propping myself up on my elbows. "Good that means we have time for one _long_ shower." I said winking, as I wiggled out from under him and scooted off the bed, walking towards the bathroom. I stopped in the doorway and turned my head over my shoulder. "You coming?"

The shower door slid open just after I stepped inside and stood under the spray. My eyes opened and I smiled at him lazily. "Sorry wanted to set the alarm, just in case we lost track of time in here." Edward commented wrapping his arms around my waist and standing under the stream with me. "Mmm, good plan. You're definitely the smart one in this duo." His lips turned up into a smirk and he leaned down kissing me softly. My arms reached up and around his neck , finding their comfortable spot in his hair, combing through his matted strands. His arms slid to my hips and pulled me closer to him as his tongue parted my lips and slid inside. His hands began to rub my sides, moving up to just below the sides of my breasts and down to my hips.

There was no sense of urgency, even with the short time. We stayed under the hot shower spray enjoying each others' skin and lips. We spent what felt like hours in the shower, washing each others' hair and soaping each other down. Edward groaned as I lathered up his cock and soaped up his balls. He pushed me against the wall and attacked my lips as my hand stroked his cock and after a few minutes he came, spurting up between us. I moved my hand to clean him up and he grabbed my wrist. "Bella, I think I should clean up this time, otherwise we'll never get out of here." I smiled and nodded moving out of his way, while he cleaned himself up.

We had just wrapped towels around ourselves when the alarm went off. "Perfect timing." I said, pulling him to me and rubbing his ass through the towel. He chuckled into my skin as he kissed my shoulder. "Baby, that means we have 20 minutes to get dressed and downstairs."

I pouted and looked at his eyes. "Well that's just lame."

He laughed as he walked out into the room. "Well we don't have to go. We can just let them get angry that we didn't go to _Thanksgiving Dinner_." He said pointedly. I huffed and followed him out. "Obviously we have to go, but it doesn't mean that I wouldn't _rather _stay in our little Edward-Bella bubble, if it was an option."

"It's always an option."

I rolled my eyes and walked up to him, kissing him quickly on the lips before turning and walking to my suitcase. "You know what I mean."

We got dressed in silence, as I wrestled with the idea of blowing off his parents. There would be other Thanksgivings right? But that was the same argument I had to why we _should_ go. I would have other Thanksgivings with Edward. I would have a million of them, if everything worked out like I hoped.

Because I loved him. I knew as much. I just needed to fucking say it. Because no matter how much he said he was okay with it "for now" I knew me being verbally retarded and unable to say the 3 words was hurting him.

And Edward should never hurt, especially because of me. He deserved more than that, more from me. I just had to work up the nerve to drop that last nagging worry I had about him and us. And trust, it was hanging on by a thread; like a baby tooth that's just about to fall out, but is hanging on by a teeny tiny bit.

I just had to suck it up and pull.

**EPOV**

She held my hand all the way down from our room and onto the elevator. But she dropped it as soon as we got off. I slowed my pace a bit and lagged behind her. What the fuck had just happened?

"Bella..."

She turned around and smiled at me, then took my arm and wrapped it around her waist. "It's better this way... you'll see."

I shook my head, but nevertheless did what she said and let her lead me into the restaurant where my parents were waiting. My mother smiled brightly when she saw us and waved her hand, so I brought Bella over there and we stood there looking awkward for a minute, with my mother's smile getting faker and faker. "Edward... you and Bella seem to be--"

"I think I pulled a muscle while we were out today." Bella said, my eyes twitched to the side and I realized what she was doing. "I was just feeling a little bit sore and I asked him to help me."

"Oh.." My mother said, nodding, then taking her seat again. "That's... um, wonderful."

We all took our seats around the table and the awkward tension was still palatable. Somebody better cut it the fuck out before I just start making out with her on the table. That'll really clarify shit, don't you think?

"So, What were you two up to today?" My father asked, placing his napkin in his lap, and raising a skeptical eyebrow. Oh, shit.

"We were on one of those Volcano Tours," I heard myself reply as Bella's head swiveled around. "It was fun. We saw tons of... magma."

My mother nodded and smirked. "Magma, huh? You're sure you two spent the entire day together?"

OH SHIT!

"Yeah, all day." Bella replied, as smoothly as ever.

"Hm, it was odd because I was so sure I saw Edward kissing a girl this afternoon... but if you two were together, I know I don't have anything to worry about."

I'm pretty sure I felt the heat radiating off of Bella's cheeks, while I blanched in contrast. We probably looked like a pair of fucking crayons, sitting there. I was absolutely positive that we'd been given away. Sorry, Baby. So much for keeping it on the DL.

Bella laughed nervously beside me, and I just looked in between my parents. I had no idea what to do. Fess up? that would be expected, but still, I wasn't going to give anything up if I didn't have to. They didn't have to know that I just came twice after fingering my girl. These were details about my life that I didn't really want to share with my parents.

"Well, he looked just like you, honey." My mother sad, spreading some butter on a slice of bread. "If you hadn't been with Bella all day, I would have sworn it was you."

"Sorry, Mom." I said, tapping my fingers on the table. Bella settled down visibly next to me, and the dinner conversation was light for the rest of the night. I didn't say much, mostly because when my parents asked about the magma all I could think about was cum. And I'm pretty sure that's not what they wanted to hear about. Bella talked, I nodded and I guess it all worked out in the end because my 'twin' wasn't mentioned again. But all of a sudden, just as my father was about to pay, that stupid mother fucking cocksucking cuntface waiter strolled by our table, and brushed his hand up against Bella's. If she hadn't been sitting in my way, I would have taken him out, parents or no parents. Fuck that shit.

"Oh, Bella!" My mother's voice was like fingernails on a chalkboard. "Is that your... little friend."

She quirked an eyebrow and laughed a bit, "Ah, no Esme. That's not him."

"Oh?" My mother's confidence faltered a bit. "But you two seemed so--"

She shook her head, "Yeah, no. He actually tried to run interference between me and the guy I'm kinda crazy about." she said, squeezing my hand under the table.

I wanted to kiss her. Hard and with tongue. But I held back. That was the least could do. My mother still looked slightly confused, but we all stood up and headed out of the restaurant.

"We were going to go to the bar, if you two wanted to join us?" My father said, wrapping his arm around my mother's waist. I really, really wished I could do that to Bella.

"Well, I'm kind of tired." I said, stretching for effect. "I think I'm gonna head up."

"Yeah, me too." Bella added, "We had a long day."

I looked down at the floor and shuffled my feet. I really, really wished we were fucking. Then I could go upstairs and do whatever the fuck, and give her a real reason to be tired.

"Edward?" Bella asked. "Can you help me?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Sure."

I wrapped my arm around her waist and supported her weight against me as I walked us back to the elevator. As soon as my parents were out of view, I felt her lips press to the side of my neck.

"What was that for?" I asked, letting her go once we were in the elevator.

She smiled up at me and wrapped her arms around my waist. "Nothing. Just for being Edward."

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "That's a ridiculous reason to kiss someone."

She smirked and pushed up so that her lips were brushing against mine. "Well get used to it. Because I'm going to be kissing you anytime I want."

I bridged the gap between us and pressed my lips gently to hers. "I wouldn't want it any other way."


	20. Chapter 20

A/N hoes:

Personally Lala, this shit was my favorite shit to write to date. What do you think?

Uh, yeah def. Mostly because it's been bouncing around the chicken coop for... how long?

Dude seriously. so this shit... it bees wrappin up soon. we're gonna need more fic ideas so we can continue writing shit together. should we ask the masses for ideas?

Well, technically Lovebug we've got our next fic in the works.... but hey, I'm up for it.

I'm sure SMeyer who owns everything Twilight related, including these characters, wouldn't mind if we asked for story handouts.

No, prolly not. I'm thinking that's how she came up with Breaking Dawn...

Ew, I bet she solicited ideas from like telenovella writers for that shit. Anyway, let's remind everyone what we think of reviews, kay?

Got it. Reviews are like... little bits of love. Share, please?

* * *

**BPOV**

I woke up the next morning surrounded by Edward, literally. His leg was bent and draped over mine while his arms held me protectively against him and his cheek was pressed into the top of my head. Best fucking way to wake up ever. I moaned quietly and yawned. His grip tightened and he nuzzled his face in my hair. I turned around slowly, trying to disturb him as little as I could. He mumbled incoherently and rolled his head onto the pillow. I scooted up on the bed and just looked at him. The way his lips were slightly parted and his hair was even messier than usual just emphasized how attractive he was. I leaned closer to him and began kissing his forehead then his nose, his cheeks, his chin and finally his lips. I let my lips linger on his and just as I was about to pull away his mouth pushed against mine. My hands slid up his chest, around his shoulders and locked in his hair. There was no other place they would ever be when we kissed; unless one was wrapped around his dick, because that shit was the fucking best. It didn't get better than knowing I could not only turn him on but make him cum.

One of his arms snuck around my waist and pulled me closer to him while his other slid up my torso and palmed my breast. I mewed into the kiss and his tongue slipped past my lips entwining with mine. He rolled us over so his body was hovering over mine and he pushed my legs apart with his knee. I bent them up and he slid between them - perfectly. I was fucking thankful that we had slept in our boxers/underwear last night otherwise I knew he wouldn't be pushing this compromising position. But I had to feel him, at least as much as I could. He pushed himself against my core and I moaned loudly, lolling my head back. "Fuck," he hissed as his lips roamed down my neck. "Fuck baby, all I can feel is how wet and warm you are." He said, his voice low and heavy. He thrusted against me harder and bit into my shoulder. My arms slid down from his hair and my fingernails dug into his back. "Mmm, fuck Edward. Harder." He did as I asked and I whimpered as his boxer covered erection rubbed against me through my panties. He groaned as his lips assaulted mine. He picked up the pace, and we moved together getting as much as we could. His tongue was rough against mine and his hands moved to my hips clumsily, gripping them hard as he picked up the pace. "Fuck... baby.." He moaned into the kiss before pulling away. We both were panting and sucking in air as fast as we could, and my chin arched up begging for more of his lips. He complied with a smirk and nipped at my bottom lip teasingly before diving back into my mouth.

One of his hands slid lower, under the band of my underwear and I felt him press two fingers deep inside me. "FUCK EDWARD!!" I moaned arching my back as he curled his fingers. "That's it baby," he breathed burying his face in my neck. "Cum for me. Fuck you're so wet. I can wait to feel you around my cock. Fuck baby..." He ground his hard on against my underwear as his fingers pumped in and out of me. I alternated between incoherent whimpers and gasping moans as he pressed harder and harder against me and his fingers moved faster. "FUCK EDWARD I... I'm... FUCCCCCCCCCCK!!" I said arching my back even more and spasming around his fingers. He continued pumping his fingers as my orgasm slowed and we both caught our breath. "Bella, one of your most beautiful moments is when you cum." He confessed quietly as he kissed my cheeks and lips lightly. I smiled the unmistakable post-coital grin and hummed. His lips found mine again and this time it was my turn to push my tongue past his lips. He groaned at the aggressiveness and I quickly shoved my hands to his boxers, shoving them off. "Baby... baby wait.." he said, pulling away. I looked up at him. "What?" I panted. "Baby, we can't. Remember... no condoms." I laughed a little to myself. "Edward, I was just going to stroke your cock, not force it to impale me." His face visibly relaxed and he leaned his forehead against mine, exhaling slowly. "Good, because honestly I don't know if I would have stopped you if you had been able to get that fucking soft hand around my dick and that close to your amazing fucking pussy." I laughed a little again and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "But, will you do something for me?"

"Anything," he breathed.

"Pick somewhere new to cum. Anywhere on me... just, somewhere new."

**EPOV**

New?

Somewhere new?

Hm.

I quirked an eyebrow as I looked down at her. "Anywhere?"

She smiled up at me and gave one slow, smooth stroke. "Anywhere."

Okay, seriously, there were only so many places I could cum, and her mouth was pretty fucking awesome. But... somewhere new. I couldn't think of anything right away, so I heard myself say:

"Baby, can't we just see where it lands?" Fuck, what a stupid ass thing to say.

Bella, though, didn't miss a beat. "Yeah, I think we could do that."

She leaned up to pull my lips to hers as her hand began to work on my cock. Her hand slid back up my length as her tongue invaded my mouth and once she got to the head, her thumb swiped up the precum and slid it back down my shaft. She thrust her tongue in and out of my mouth in time with her hand, which was picking up speed with every fucking stroke. God, it felt so fucking good. I wanted to tell her, but she would not let go of my mouth, so I just moaned into her. Then she picked up her pace and tore her lips from mine. I opened my eyes, and she was already looking up at me, full of lust and want.

"Edward... Edward, please.... cum for me? Please? I need your cum all over me, Edward..."

Fucking christ, this chick was killing me. I closed my eyes again as I felt my balls tighten. "FUCCCCCKKKKK, BELLLLAAAAHHHHH..."

All of a sudden I was losing my shit. I had no fucking clue where it was going, and honestly i didn't care. It just felt so fucking amazing. Bella was moaning right along with me as her strokes slowed down, and eventually stopped. I caught my breath, but lost it again when I opened my eyes. My sticky cum was all over Bella's stomach and chest, and that was just... awesome. It was like I had marked her. Even though I knew she'd wipe it off, it was like she had a piece of me with her now; like we were together. I groaned and pressed my body to hers, not particularly caring that my cock was pressed into the warm wetness of her underwear and that I was effectively smearing cum all over the both of us. My lips hovered over hers, and her hands were running up and down my sides.

"You're mine," I said, as she closed her eyes and moaned. "No one else's. Just mine."

I pressed my lips to hers forcefully and crushed her to me as best I could given our position. Something about the way I came, and the way she was made me want to... possess her. It was as though I needed to make sure that everyone around us knew that she was with me and that I loved her. I wanted everyone know; to have no stone unturned. I would rent out a fucking billboard if I had to. No one was going to get between me and my girl. I finally pulled away, gasping for breath and leaned my forehead to hers.

"Edward... Edward..." Shit, she was gonna say it. I knew it, I could fucking feel it in my bones. She just had to say it. I held my breath as I waited. "We should get in the shower. I'm all sticky."

I shut my eyes and groaned as she shoved me off of her and went into the bathroom. Fucking hell. What the fuck was the problem. That would have been perfect, so what the hell was the problem? What the fuck was left?

"Edward?" She called, "Are you coming?"

I could hear the smile in her voice and I wasn't ready to lose that. I wanted her to be happy and I said that I would be patient. But then she does shit like that. And even less than that; it's the way that she holds me while we sleep and brushes the hair out of my eyes while we're talking. She loved me, I knew she did. I couldn't figure out how to get her to see it.

"Yeah, Baby." I said as I got up. "I'm here."

We kept the shower relatively PG, and before I knew it she had me pressed up against the wall of the elevator and once again had her hands pushed up into my hair.

"Edward?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think... do you think you could check the condom machine when we get down stairs?"

My eyes snapped open to look down at her. "Uh... yeah, Baby. Is that what you want?"

She nodded and leaned into me, so I put my head on top of hers and started rocking us gently. See? See? What the fuck is that? That, my friend, wasn't lust or want, that was love. It was her needing me to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay. And it would. Nothing would keep me from my Bella. The elevator stopped and I left Bella in one of the arm chairs to go down to the mens room and figure out the condom situation. I put in my quarter and held my breath. One small, square foil package popped out.

Thank you, thank you. Salvation.

I grabbed it and shoved it into my pocket as I sprinted back to Bella.

"Did you get it?" She asked breathlessly.

I smiled and pulled her up into my arms, kissing her hard on the mouth. I pulled away, and even though she did it quickly, I saw her eyes dart around the room, but I brushed it off. "You ready, Baby?"

Part of me wanted her to say no, and the other part of me (the penis part) wanted her to say yes. She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and nodded slowly. I leaned in and pressed my lips to her forehead. "Let's get out of here, then."

I pulled her into my side and let my fingers squeeze and release her side slowly. It was as though that one simple move would help us eliminate the tension that was so incredibly apparent. Yeah, it didn't help.

"Where are we going?" I asked her, as we stepped out onto the patio.

"Uh... there's the boat house?"

I nodded and deftly guided her to the rickety shack on the far side of the beach. It was a decent size, but the windowless space was hot and damp; not the least bit romantic in any way. I shut the door behind us and Bella turned around, her bottom lip pulled back into her teeth. I went over to her slowly and dipped my head down so that we were eye level.

"Are you sure this is what you want? We could go back upstairs? Or, Bella we could..." I took in a deep breath. "Bella, we could wait."

She shook her head, and put her hands on either side of my neck. "No... no. I want this... I want you... I... I want to have you inside me. Please, Edward? Please?"

I sighed and crushed her lips to mine as she slid her arms around my neck and pulled herself closer. I kissed her, and I definitely wanted her, but something was off... something just wasn't right. But fuck if I was going to let Bella down again. The problem was, though, that there were fucking boats everywhere, not to mention the fact that we were standing on this miniature dock that swayed when you so much as breathed too heavily. I slid my arms down her sides and lifted her up into me and stepped in one of the boats that was tethered to the dock. It wobbled a bit, but we stabilized, and I slowly sat down with Bella in my lap. She kept right on kissing me, never even flinching as she ground her hips into mine and I moaned into her mouth as my cock got hard underneath her. She pulled away, and lifted her shirt over her head. But then her elbow got caught and she started jerking around to get out of it. My arms shot out quickly and I grabbed the sides of the boat. That. That moment right there was our downfall. She shifted in the opposite direction, which made the boat rock violently and tip over. I felt the warm salt water hit my eyes, but I didn't give myself time to think about it as I looked for Bella. Shit shit shit shit shit. I felt an arm on mine and quickly pulled her up into me, then fought like hell to get to the surface. We finally broke, gasping for breath and I hauled us up onto the beach and out of that god forsaken shed where we collapsed on the sand.

"Baby... Baby... are you... okay?"

She was breathing heavily, and I was almost afraid of what she'd say. "Yeah... yeah, I'm fine."

She reached over and put her hand in mine, giving it a light squeeze. She was okay; she was fine. That was good enough for me. I caught my breath and rolled over toward her, giving her a light kiss on the cheek. "Baby, let's go upstairs and try again."

She turned toward me and nodded, "Yeah... but the condom?"

Fuck. I check my pockets quickly and my heart fucking sank. "Baby... It's gone."

"Gone?" She asked, confused.

I nodded. Her eyes went wide and at first I thought she was going to cry but she burst out into laughter. She was clutching her sides, and honestly I didn't get it.

"Why are you laughing?" I asked as I watched her roll around on the sand.

"Because... it's like the whole cosmic universe was designed to keep us from fucking!" Then she laughed harder.

Well, when you put it like that. I started laughing at her laughing, and soon enough we were both in stitches rolling around in the sand. We probably looking in fuckin sane. But I didn't care. I was with my girl and we were having fun.

What else could I fucking need?

**BPOV**

We spent the rest of the afternoon goofing off at the beach. We joined in a random beach volleyball game and Edward quickly experienced first hand why I never played sports and barely passed PE. After that we went back to the secluded area by the abandoned boat dock and just vegged under the sun. After a while, we decided to go grab some snacks and hang out in the hotel room until we had to meet his parents.

"I like this." I murmured into his chest as we cuddled on the freshly made bed and watched old episodes of Star Trek.  
"Hm?"  
"This.. you, me... the whole no fighting thing. It works."

He laughed and placed a long firm kiss into my hair. "Yea, me too. I love you."  
I smiled and nudged my head against his chest. I felt him tense up for a second before sighing audibly. My head shot up to look at him. "You okay?"  
He gave me a tight lipped smile and nodded. "Mhm, fine. Just tired I guess." Such bullshit, something was definitely up. I kissed his lips quickly and snuggled back into him. "Then let's take a nap. We still have a few hours before we have to meet your parents."  
"Yeah, okay." He said, rolling us onto our sides and pulling me flush against him. We settled against each other quickly and before I knew it, I was passed out and dreaming of Edward.  
The annoying buzz of the hotel alarm clock startled us awake and we both jumped a little at the blaring sound. Edward yawned loudly and stretched to his side turning it off.  
"Mmm.. good morning." I grumbled through a mouthful of sleep. Edward turned to face me again and buried his face in my neck kissing up it softly. "Morning baby."  
I sighed contently and sat up on my knees, lifting my shirt above my head and tossing my bra behind me. Edward's eyes had been locked on mine, but began scanning down my body once I had discarded my bra. I leaned over him, my hair surrounding our faces as I kissed his lips feverishly. My legs moved to either side of his hips as my tongue parted his lips. His hands flew to my hips and gripped them, grinding me in my shorts against his. I sighed into his mouth and he began to sit up not tearing his lips from mine. His mouth moved down to my cheek and along my neck sucking and nipping periodically. My hands fisted in his hair as I whimpered at the touch.  
"Baby, you're so fucking beautiful." He sighed into my skin. "We should shower; I want to see all of you pressed against all of me."  
Was that... were we... even without a condom?

I moaned at his insinuation and hesitantly sat up further, sliding off the bed and dropping my shorts. He stood up quickly and had his arms around me in an instant. "Here baby, let me help..." he offered, his voice thick with lust. When he spoke like that, in that voice all I could do was nod. He could do anything to me as long as he said it with that tone.

His hands slid down my shoulders to my hips slowly, caressing my skin. I felt the familiar electric heat and exhaled slowly, relishing it. He took a step closer to me, hooking his thumbs through the sides of my underwear, moving them back slowly and sliding his hand into the back of them. His hands palmed and massaged my ass as he pulled me against him and his hard on. I moaned at the contact and he lifted me up, shoving my wetness against him. I tangled my legs as best I could considering the fucking cast, around him and he walked us into the bathroom.

**EPOV**

I just wanted her, you know?

I wanted to be close to her, and be reassured that she wanted me and that she loved me. But fucking christ she hadn't said it yet, so how the fuck was I supposed to know what she was thinking? I wanted to hear her say it, and for some reason, I had the thought ingrained in my mind that she would say it until I'd fucked her. Part of me wanted to do it because I wanted her, too. I wanted to be buried inside of her, and biting her neck as I came. But then again, I didn't want to fuck her just to hear her say the words. They meant more than that... at least to me. I put her down on the bathroom floor and she turned on the spray while I pulled down my boxers. When I looked up, she was staring at me. It wasn't my Bella, though, it was the girl I used to know; the girl who used to make my skin crawl. I didn't want that to be her anymore. I just... I didn't want that. I pulled her into my arms quickly and held her tightly to my chest as my lips found their way to her hair.

"Mine... mine... mine..." I heard myself whispering into her hair, almost as though that one syllable would save me. It would keep me together and with her, no matter what happened.

Her hands were running gently up and down my sides and she was planting light kisses on my chest. "Let's get in?"

"Yeah," I said as I leaned down and kissed her forehead. Anything to be closer to her, at this point, I would take. She stepped in first and I followed, but this time she pulled me into her.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her hands sliding down my stomach and twisting in the hair there.

"Mhm." I said, letting my cheek drop to the top of her head. I moaned as her hand went a bit lower and wrapped around my hard on and started to move.

"Shit... Bella..." I whispered as she started pumping me fast and hard. It wasn't about love or lust this time; she was trying to make me feel better. She wanted to make me happy. Her lips attached to the base of my neck, and she started sucking on the skin there, making me quiver at her touch. I felt my balls start to tighten up, and I knew I was close.

"Baby... Baby... shit..." I was just about to cum when the phone rang. I groaned and shut my eyes as her hand came to a stop.

"I should get that." She said, stepping out of the shower.

I grabbed her arm and looked at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

"It could be your parents. Let me go." I released her arm as she went back into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. I sighed and looked down at my still hard dick. I sighed as my hand wrapped around. I guess I was taking matters into my own hands tonight.

I got out of the shower a little later, and Bella was already dressed. "You better hurry, that was your parents. We only have ten minutes to get down there."

I groaned and got dressed in silence, not particularly caring whether or not I saw my parents. It was ridiculous. The whole fucking thing was just ridiculous. I flicked off the lights on the way out, and she held out her hand for me as we walked down the hall. She didn't say anything to me the entire ride down, I was thinking that I might as well have just stayed back in the room. It was just that... shit didn't feel right, and I didn't want anything to fuck us up.

**BPOV**

What the fuck was his malfunction tonight? It was like he had become a different person since we got cleaned up. I squeezed his hand and looked at him. "You okay?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, let's just get this shit over with." I looked at him, concern plastered all over my face. "Okay..." I dropped my hand away from his as we rounded the corner to the restaurant. He reached for it again and I pulled away. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to hold my girl's hand, what the fuck does it look like I'm doing?"

"Edward, we're about to enter a restaurant where your _parents_ will be."

"So what?"

"SO WHAT?! So, we're still keeping shit under wraps, remember?"

"But from my parents? Fuck Bella they probably already fucking _know_. I didn't think this shit had to be that under wraps! Who the fuck is next? Smith?"

"Edward, you _honestly_ think if we went in there and were all fucking kissy-kissy they'd let that shit fly?"

Edward gripped onto strands of his hair and pulled, looking frustrated. "Baby, holding your hand is hardly kissy-kissy."

"Well it might as well be! If you have forgotten, in the world outside our little bubble we're not exactly best fucking buddies."

"But my parents, Bella? Really? Even after all the close calls?"

"Fine! Whatever. But if _I_ get thrown out because I've been sucking their son's dick then we're gonna having a fucking problem okay?"

"Whatever. Let's just get this over with."

I rolled my eyes and pushed through the door, not bothering to leave it open for Fuckward.

**EPOV**

Fuck, did she have a stick up her ass.

I followed her into the restaurant, not fucking touching her because fuck me if I even _breathed_ near her. Are we sure she abdicated her throne as Queen of the Shews? Because I want documentation of that shit. I shoved my hands in my pockets as our table came into view. Fucking wonderful. Two chairs on one side, booth on the other. Guess who's sliding in?

Fuck.

My.

Life.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair and my mother and father stood, smiling at the both of us.

"Edward! Bella!" He called, waving a bit. Yeah, Dad, I see you. I'm not fucking blind. "You two take the inside."

I sighed as Bella slid in on one side and I on the other. I leaned back against the seat and looked up at the ceiling. It was going to be a long fucking night.

"So what have you two been up to today? We hardly saw you." My mother asked, taking a sip of her water.

_Well, Mom, I was gonna fuck my top-secret girlfriend behind the Boat House, but I didn't have a fucking condom. And then, we took a shower together and we were fucking NAKED, but then she wouldn't let me hold her hand to walk into the fucking restaurant. Don't you think that shit's a little fucked up?_

I grumbled and lifted my menu as Bella flashed a smile to my parents, "We tried to rent a kayak, but they ended up being all out so we went to the Natural Hot Springs instead."

"That sounds like fun," My father mused, not bothering to look at her over the menu.

_Oh, yeah, it was fucking brilliant. And the best part? Having to jack off in the bathroom while she got dressed because she fucking blue balled me. That was my favorite._

"We went to the Botanical Gardens." My mother said to Bella, nodding seriously. "So many beautiful flowers."

_That's it, Mom, remind me again that I still haven't collected my girl's flower; go ahead. Stab the knife in a little deeper, I think my balls are still attached and functional._

"That sounds really nice, Esme." Bella replied in her best "I'm wonderful" voice. I wanted to rip those vocal cords from her fucking throat. "Maybe Edward and I will check them out tomorrow."

I snorted. The only thing that would involve 'me' and 'check out' would be me getting a separate room. I didn't want to sleep next to a girl who, apparently, couldn't even hold my fucking hand.

Who the fuck did this chick think she was?

Oh, right. She's my girl.

**BPOV**

"So, Edward. We were thinking of doing a group activity tomorrow, maybe some snorkeling. How's that sound?" Carlisle asked, after the waiter had come by to take our orders.

"Yeah, whatever. Alright." He responded noncommittally, playing with the votive candle flickering on the table.

"Bella, what about you? Are you at least a little more enthused about snorkeling than my son here?" He asked peering around Edward's gigantic fucking head to look at me. Had it always been that big? Oh right, probably. His ego had to fit _somewhere_.

I smiled and nodded. "Sure Carlisle, sounds great."

Edward turned to look at me with a raised eyebrow. "That _didn't_ sound more enthused than my response."

"Honey, wait a second. Bella still has her cast on. Can she even _go_ snorkeling?" Esme asked, placing a hand on Carlisle's forearm. Thank fucking god for Esme fucking Cullen.

Carlisle placed a hand on the side of his neck and shook his head. "That's right! God, I completely forgot. Sorry about that Bella."

I smiled genuinely and shook my head. "No problem, maybe next time. The three of you should have fun. I'll just bum it around the beach."

"Nonsense dear," Esme began as the waiter placed our drinks on the table. "Edward will stay behind. There's no sense in only three of us going. Plus, as Carlisle pointed out Edward didn't seem too eager to swim around anyway."

Ugh. Another day with Edward "I need to show off my ladies like a shiny new car" Cullen. Fanfuckingtastic. What the hell was his problem anyway?

"So Edward, are you still seeing that Tanya girl?"

My throat closed up at the sound of the bitch's name. How did she know about them? They dated for like twenty seconds. Instinctively my hand that had been on my lap moved to Edward's thigh.

I saw him grin out of the corner of my eye, but he shook his head. "No mom. We went out once or twice but that was about it. How'd you hear about it anyway? I never brought her to the house."

Esme's eyes softened and she looked from me to Edward. "Oh, well you know, small town. I ran into her mother at the crafts store. She mentioned something about you taking her to Port Angeles."

"Oh, well yeah. That makes sense I guess." Edward responded ripping off a piece of bread from the basket on the table.

"And what about you Bella? Are you dating any boys at school?" Since when did this turn into 3rd degree Bella hour?

"Oh um, I mean... well there was Mike." I barfed out inarticulately. Ugh, okay so maybe I felt a sliver of empathy for what Edward just went through - now that I was going through it.

Edward reached for his glass of water and took a sip. After he had put his glass back down his hand dropped under the table and his fingers laced between mine on his thigh.

"Mike? Michael Newton?" Esme asked, looking confused.

I nodded. "Mhm. But he was kind of... weird. So we stopped going out pretty much after date one."

Carlisle chuckled and lifted his glass of wine to his lips. "Yea, he does seem a little off kilter."

Edward choked on a laugh. "No shit, dad."

"Edward - watch your mouth." Esme scolded. He shrugged and pulsed his hand around mine. See this could work, this could be easy. They didn't have to know.

"Well, maybe it's best dear." Esme began after a beat. "You wouldn't want to date anyone now anyway. You're going through so much. And especially at your age, I hate to sound harsh but boys really are after _one_ thing and one thing only - especially with a girl as beautiful as you."

I tried to hide my smirk. If only she knew how much _I_ wanted a certain _one thing_ from a specific _one boy_. My hand began to slide it's way up Edward's thigh and rub him through his thin dress pants.

Edward coughed again as I wrapped my hand around his cock through his trousers and squeezed gently, never taking my smile off his parents.

**EPOV**

What the fuck did she think this was, _Wedding Crashers?_ Easy there, Isla Fisher. Sucks, Bells cause you're just as fucking nuts as that chick.

"Well, Either way," My father started, just as I felt her hand undo the button on my pants. Fuck. She could not be serious. "It's good that Edward's around to help you out. Some one to hold on to."

She smiled at him from across the table as she stuck her hand inside my boxers and squeezed my junk. "Yeah, I'd say I keep a good grip on him."

Holy fucking hell, I was going to die. There was no way... no fucking way she was going to do this. I leaned over the table to try and dislodge her, but instead I felt my cock go hard in her hand. Fuck. I couldn't catch a break with her today. I pretended to play with the piece of bread on my plate as she started moving her hand, ghosting her fingers up and down my shaft, then palming the head before going back down the other side.

"Honey, I was talking to Mrs. Hale the other day at the supermarket," My mother said to me as Bella fisted my cock, "And she wanted to know if you'd still be willing to help her move some of the bigger boxes from the warehouse before christmas?" I grunted in her general direction as Bella's hand began moving faster and faster, her thumb swiping up the precum I could feel seeping from me. "Well, that's wonderful dear! She'll be so excited to have you again! Do you think you could talk to Jasper about it? I think he's the lone hold out in your little group."

Bella scraped her fingernails lightly around my shaft, so the only sound that escaped my lips was "Uhhh..."

"I could talk to him if you want, Esme." Bella said sweetly, rewrapping her hand around me and staring to pump again. I could feel my cock start to twitch in anticipation, "I see him first thing, anyway."

"Wonderful, Bella, Thank you so much." My mother smiled at the Shrew who had me at her mercy. I wanted to kill them both. If this was to make me forget that I was mad at her, it's not... it's definitely not... okay, it's kind of fucking working.

"Baked Stuffed Shrimp?" The waiter asked, standing beside our table with our food. I felt Bella's hand go slack around my cock. Fuck no.

"That's mine," My father said as Bella tucked my throbbing hard on back into the slit of my boxers.

"Pasta Primavera?" My mother raised two fingers and I winced as my zipper made my pants unbearable.

"Mushroom Ravioli?" Bella smiled politely and my button was back in place.

"Uh, I guess this is Cream of Wheat?" You have got to be kidding me.

"I didn't order that," I said disdainfully, and I scowled more when I saw Bella stifling laughter out of the corner of my eye.

"Oh, no sir? I'll just check with the kitchen."

He walked away, and I felt like fucking shit, with an unmanageable throb in between my legs.

"Weird," My father commented, turning to my mother. "Edward doesn't like Cream of anything."

I rolled my eyes and Bella snickered. But I don't know what the fuck she was laughing about. She'd fucked up my shit, and she was going to pay.

The server brought back my meal-- my right meal-- and we ate, without another touch to one another, and supplying details to different questions asked of us. My parents paid the bill and we all got up to leave, but I stayed behind to adjust myself.

"I'll be up in a sec," I heard Bella tell my mother, "I have to stop in the bathroom."

My mother tapped Bella's shoulder as my father escorted her out.

Bingo.

I had my in.

I followed her quickly into the bathroom, and she just missed me coming in as she went into a stall. I checked the others to make sure we were alone, and once I was sure I flipped over the lock. She came out just a second later.

"Edward?" She said, a sly smirk playing at her lips, "Were you expecting something?"

"Yeah, I'm expecting you to stop being a cocktease long enough to suck me off."

**BPOV**

"Oh so you're not mad at me anymore?" I said crossing my arms over my chest, grinning smugly.

"Mad? Baby, mad's got nothing to do with this," he said pointing down to his raging hard on, "You gotta make good. So make me cum."

I stepped closer to him sandwiching him between me and the door. "Too bad," I whispered into his ear. "I was going to beg you to let me fuck the anger out of you."

"I'd rather have you suck me until you can feel my cum in your toes."

I stepped back and crinkled my nose. "Ew. Yeah totally not gonna touch your dick now."

"You think so?"

"Yea, but maybe I'll let you watch me, get mine."

"No. No fucking way. You got yours _twice _twice today. Now I want mine."

I shrugged and moved around him, unlocking the door. "Your loss. I was gonna let you cum anywhere you wanted on me after I was done."

"Now."

I turned to look at him. What the fuck was he going on about? "Now, what?"

"I. Want. Your. Mouth. Now."

I scoffed. "That was hot Edward. Really. Truly. But I'm gonna go with no. If the only place I get to feel your dick is in my mouth and hand, maybe it's not worth it anymore."

"Baby, I don't think you understand. I want to feel your hot mouth wrapped around me as you suck me dry. If you can't even take me in your mouth, how am I supposed to let you have it anywhere else?"

Not gonna lie, at his words I felt my underwear get damp. I hated that, hated that SmutWard could talk me into anything, even when I was still pissed as hell at him.

"Lock the door." I breathed into his ear, my hand skimming down the front of his pants and grabbing his hard on through his pants. He felt around behind him clumsily and finally relocked the door.

"You have no idea, how good you feel in my mouth, Edward. No idea how much I love tasting you, swallowing your cum." I sighed, undoing his pants with one hand. I was getting to be a fucking pro at the technical aspects of this shit.

"And that's why I can't wait to feel you in me Edward. Feel you stretch me and _fuck me_, like I know you want to." My hand wrapped around his dick and he thrusted into my hand.

"Get on your knees Bella. Let me fuck your amazing mouth."

Shit motherfucking god. He was going to make me cum just by how he was talking.

I rubbed my thumb over his tip, spreading the precum all over it, as I slid down to my knees, keeping my eyes trained on his. I laid an open mouth kiss on the top of his dick, dragging the tip of my tongue along it swiping up the cum. "Mmm.." I moaned as I wrapped my mouth around his head. He let out a puff of air that sounded like a mix between a grunt and a moan. I moved my mouth further down on his shaft and pulled him into my mouth. My hand started to pump at the base of his cock in a short but firm motion. His hips began bucking and one of his hands tangled in my hair, gripping it tightly. I heard a thud in the background and realized that Edward must have banged his head on the door. I chuckled at the mental image and he moaned louder as the sound vibrated against his dick. I started sucking harder, trying to take as much of it in my mouth as I could. I picked up the pace of my hands ministrations and moaned, sending reverberations through his shaft. He tugged on my hair, pushing my head further down, fucking my mouth. "Bella, fuck, fuck... Bellla, shit. God that feels... fuck... fucking amazing. Ungh..."

I loved pleasing my Edward.

**EPOV**

I had no fucking idea that that was going to work as well as it did. But to be honest, I fucking loved every minute of it. Obviously. I looked down at her head moving up and down my shaft, and it was the best fucking thing I'd ever witnessed. There was absolutely nothing that compared to Bella's mouth. Except for maybe her pussy, but as I had yet to explore that region, her mouth was my fucking salvation. I felt her tongue glide across the underside of my shaft, tracing the veins and I let out a low growl.

"Fuck, baby, I love you so fucking much... the way your mouth feels on my cock... fuck."

I felt my cock twitch in her mouth, and she moaned around me as she twisted her mouth slightly on an up swing, and moved her hand in the opposite direction. Fuck, that felt good. I threw my head back again as I felt her hand come up to swipe at my balls... once, twice, then tugging gently. Fuck. I could feel myself ready to explode and my hips started grinding involuntarily into her mouth.

"Fuck... baby... shit...I--" She gave my balls another tug and I spilled into her mouth with her name on my lips and a hand holding her head in place. I caught my breath as she cleaned me up, then put me back together. I looked down at her while she was zipping up my pants, and fuck if I didn't fall in love with her all over again. She was so good to me sometimes that I felt like I didn't deserve her. I sunk down to the floor and pulled her into my arms, and kissed her forehead.

"I love you, Baby."

"Mhm.."

That shit. _That _ruined my shit. I sighed and pushed her off of me so I could stand, then I helped her to her feet. I adjusted my shirt and ran my hands through my hair while she washed her hands. I flipped the lock and looked back at her.

"You ready?"

"Yeah."

I opened the door and followed her out of the restaurant. She headed for the elevator and I went out to the patio.

"Edward?" Fuck that was her shrew voice coming out. "Where are you going?"

"Outside."

"Why?"

"I need to think."

I walked outside, letting the cool night air wash over me as I walked down to the beach. Then I fucking heard Bella hobbling after me.

**BPOV**

"What the _fuck_ is your problem Edward? Did my mouth not feel as good the 50th time?" I snapped as I limped my ass over the fucking sand. Yeah, _that_ was fun.

"I came, didn't I?"

I sighed as I finally reached him. Damn him and his fucking long legs. "Yeah, so then what's wrong?"

"You're kidding, right? You can't fucking figure it out?"

My eyes widened and I shook my head. "Obviously Edward. If I knew I wouldn't be fucking asking!"

"Why can't you say it?"

"Say what?"

"Bella. Do not fuck with me right now. You know what."

"Oh. my. GOD. Edward!" I said throwing up my hands. "Will you just fucking _tell_ me what I didn't say that I apparently should have, so I can fucking say it and you can stop having a fucking hissy fit!"

"Oh, no Princess, don't let me impose. I didn't mean to get your panties in a twist. I suppose it is too much to ask for my fucking girlfriend to tell me she loves me!"

My jaw hit the floor, and I was pretty sure I tasted sand. Or something else incredibly bitter. "The fuck are you talking about?"

"You don't say it. I tell you I love you all the fucking time and you don't say jack shit!"

Seriously. I mean _really_?! "Wait... so you're mad that I haven't said _I love you_ yet?!"

"Am I mad about it? No, I'm fucking pissed. How much longer do I have to do this shit?"

"See _that_ is why I haven't said it Edward. I KNEW you didn't mean it! And you don't have to do _it_ anymore. You can stop fucking pretending. So it doesn't fucking _matter_ if I love you. It doesn't matter that I fucking love waking up next to you every morning and having my skin have a faint hint of whateverthefuck body wash you use because we haven't moved from each others arms all _fucking_ night. And it doesn't matter that I fucking love the way that you touch me and how even now, even _after_ the initial touch every time is electric. And I fucking love you so much that I'm fucking _scared _because I don't know what I'd do if one day you just decided I wasn't pretty enough, or good enough. Or worse, if you never _really_ loved me and all this was some fucked up game to you." I sniffled and wiped my cheeks quickly, hoping he hadn't seen the stray tears that escaped my eyes. "And yeah, I FUCKING LOVE YOU, okay? I do, with every single fucking part of who I am, and I don't know how to be me, how to be Bella-fucking-Swan without loving you now. But it doesn't fucking matter, right? Cuz all you want to know is how much longer you have to _put up_ with my shit!"

**EPOV**

I couldn't believe what she was fucking saying. What the hell was wrong with her?

"No, Bella. What I wanted to know was all that other shit, because you know what? I happen to love the fact that I get to wake up next to you every goddamn day, and that you smell like me, even if it's been hours since I've touched you. I fucking live for that shit. But, how could you still, after everything think that I don't mean it? How many fucking times do I have to tell you before it sinks in? Am I not speaking the right language? Tell me what to say, and I'll fucking say it. Just tell me what the fuck you want from me!"

"I want... I want you to fucking love me. Like _really_ love me Edward. I want you to respect me, and you fucking _don't_. You don't respect me wanting to keep things quiet for now. You don't care if I get thrown out of the fucking house if your parents find out! I want you to touch me without me having to make the first move, or beg. Do you realize that's all I fucking do? I have to _beg_ for you to touch me, or initiate the contact myself. And that just further proves that you _don't_ want me. So what am I? A fucking hobby Edward? Show and fucking tell? Is that why you want everyone to know, so you can tell everyone, then get bored and leave me for something new?"

I didn't know what the fuck to do with that. I mean, come the fuck on. She couldn't be serious. It was like she'd been dating a completely different guy. "It's got nothing to do with them! Bella, I don't want to hide because there's nothing TO hide! I love you and I want to be with you, and I'm not ashamed of that! Are you?"

"No, of course not. I mean fuck Edward. You're amazing, I keep fucking telling you that. You're all I want, all I'll ever want. I just... I don't want to lose our friends if we broadcast the 180 shift in our relationship, and okay yeah I'm fucking selfish but I don't want your parents thinking I'm some kind of skank because I shacked up with their son the second I moved in. And I'm _sorry_ if that doesn't work for you. And I'm sorry that I'm fucking everything up, but you'll always have everyone. And I _lost_ everyone. And I'm sorry that I'm fucking _petrified_ of losing YOU!"

"I'm not fucking going anywhere! I've told you that!" I tugged at my hair, and walked away from her for a minute. Then I realized something; something that wasn't quite making sense. "But what I'm hearing is that your friends and their opinions are more important to you than me. You know what, though? Fuck them. If they can't support us, and let us be together then fuck them, they were never really our friends anyway. None of them and none of _that_ means anything to me unless I have you. You're all I fucking need, Bella. Nothing else. I don't care if I don't have even one other fucking friend in my entire life. If I have you, it's all I need. Why isn't that enough for you?"

It was fucking killing me that she couldn't see the obvious. I hated that she couldn't see that I just fucking loved her and that I wanted her. Who the fuck cares if we didn't have anyone else? We had each other, and for me at least that was enough. I shifted my weight between my feet, and she shifted her eyes to the ground before she spoke.

"Edward... I can't. I can't lean on just you. How do I know you won't fucking leave? I mean, really? I don't. We're in fucking high school Edward. What happens after? When you go off to your fucking Ivy League to go be even more brilliant than you already are and I'm not there. What happens when you realize you could do so much fucking better? If my friends aren't there, then what? Then I have nothing again. Edward I know right here and now, that I will love you forever. That I will fucking do anything, be anywhere, go anywhere move fucking mountains for you. I will do anything for you and all I'm asking is that you not make me have to choose between you and our friends. I want to tell them, you don't think I do? You don't think that I _know_ we could put Rose and Em to shame at the lunch table with our inability to keep our hands off each other? Don't you think I want to hold your hand and not worry about Ben seeing and telling everyone? I'm not embarrassed by you, I'm not ashamed of you or of us I'm ashamed of ME! I'm ashamed that you were left to pick up the pieces. And that you have to be seen with me when I'm still this fragile little gimp of a person with no fucking parents. God Edward, never think this is about you. This is all me and my shit. I fucking love you so much that all I want to do is be wrapped up in you. In the way you fucking hold me, and the way you take care of Smith and the way you make me feel like someday shit won't be like this. Edward you give me hope, and I don't want to lose that. But I know one day I will. You're smart; I know one day you'll see how much better you could do, or at the very least how much better off you'd be without me. And Edward, shit what the fuck then? What am I gonna do when I don't have my heart anymore? You fucking have it and you could rip it out and walk away with it. What the fuck am I gonna do when that happens?"

Her eyes were glistening in the moonlight, and I felt like mine matched hers. "Nothing," I said softly, knowing that every thing she said could happen; but not to us. Never to us. "Because the day I leave you is that day I die. You go where I go, Baby, and that's all there is to it. I don't give a shit about doing better and being amazing to someone because, like I said, if she's not you it doesn't make a fucking difference. Baby, I don't care if you fall apart every fucking day, I'll put you back together however you need it because I fucking love you and if that's what you need then that's what I'll do. I don't know what else I can say to make you see that I _can't_ leave you. You're like... you're like my entire fucking soul, and I don't work without you. How much clearer can I be? You'll never have to be alone because you have me. Forever, until the day I die I'm with you, Bella. All of me. Just fucking trust me... please."

I was pleading with her now; she could either crush me or save me, and to be honest, I had no fucking clue which way she was going to go.

"Me too." She breathed, twisting her hands together before looking up at me to continue. "I mean... all of it Edward. I meant it when I said you have me for as long as you want me. And that fucking scares me because that means I'm trusting you with every part of who I am. And I do; I trust you. But I know that people change. And who people are at 17 isn't who they are at 27 or even 20. And you don't know that you'll be the same person who wants me then. But you're it for me. If this doesn't work, if we don't work, then I wasn't meant to work with anyone else. But if you need me to trust you with _all_ of that, you need to trust me too. You need to trust that I'm taking the baby steps. You see it! I don't want to hide this shit any longer than you do. And I know you don't care about our friends fleeing like we've got leporcy but I can't lose them Edward. And it's not you vs. them, because honestly if you told me that's what it would come down to I'd choose you every fucking time. But please don't make me."

"Bella, I'm not asking you to do that." I sighed, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands. "I can't ask you to do that, but come the fuck on. It was your idea to hide it in the first place. I didn't give a shit who knew or who thought what. It doesn't fucking matter to me. I love you, and I'm with you; we're doing this. Baby, you're stuck with me, and I'm not going anywhere; I can't be any clearer than that. And of course I don't know what I'm going to be doing in ten or fifteen years, but baby, I know you're there. That's the only fucking thing I'm sure of in my future. That you're going to be there. I hate the fact that you don't think I can feel those things, and that you're the only one with shit to lose." I walked over to her and cupped her face between my hands, looking right into her eyes. "Baby, what if _you_ decide that you can do better? What if you leave me? What the fuck am I supposed to do then? Pick up the pieces? There won't be any left. Baby, if you go I'll be gone. There's no me without you."

She brought her hands up to my wrists and squeezed. "I can't leave you Edward. I _won't_, not ever. I told you, I don't even know how to be me without loving you. There won't be a time, not ever, no matter how mad at me you get, or how many times you call me a fucking shrew or how much you tell me I'm a prude for not jumping to my knees when you pull down your pants in a public place... there just won't be a time when I don't love you. When I'm not thinking about how much I want you, about how in 50 years I want us to be together with a Mr. Smith the III. Edward I'm here, I'll love you forever and even after that. You're it for me. For god sakes, you're the only boy I've wanted to kiss since I was like seven. I mean really Edward, that's more than half my life that I've loved you. I just didn't know that's what it was then."

"Why isn't it the same for me then?" I asked, dropping her face, and crossing my arms across my chest. "Why can't all of that be my shit, too? What makes what I feel so different from what you feel?"

"Because I know what I feel is real Edward. I know because I feel it. Because I've _felt it_ since second fucking grade. And it's just, maybe it's harder for me to comprehend your side of it. I mean I spent the better part of our fucked up relationship thinking you were a dick to me _because_ I liked you. It's hard to not have residual feelings of rejection, even if none of it was true. It was true for so long the spot is still sore."

It felt like she'd taken my heart and pushed it through the garbage disposal after giving it a couple of whips in the blender. I seriously felt like I couldn't fucking breath. "How could you say that? How could you possibly say that? Bella, I am so sorry that I didn't talk it out with you in fifth grade like I should have, and I know it's my own fucking fault we're the way we are but Please," My voice was cracking and, I could feel my chest starting to heave. "Please, just let me fix it? Just let me be there for you and love you, and let us work? Please, I want that so fucking much you can't even comprehend. Because this? The hiding and the secrecy? Bella, it's ripping us apart. Can't you see that?"

She let out a long sigh, and I could tell she was trying to hold herself back, "I know... I'm sorry. And it wasn't just you. I could have spoken up too. I could have just asked what the hell your deal was. It wasn't one sided, the us not talking." her voice was soft, and she chewed on her lip for a second before she continued. "Can we... can we just like, not tell your parents? We can tell everyone at school. I just... I really don't want to lose my home and that's selfish and ridiculous I know, but I can't risk that. Not after I had to lose my first one. And I want us to work, and I do get it. I want you, this, all of it for as long as I'm lucky enough to have it."

I sighed and closed the gap between us so that I could pull her into my arms. She wrapped her arms around my waist and I leaned down to kiss her lips gently, "You have me always, and it has nothing to do with luck," I said softly, tucking her head under my chin. "I love you, and that's a fact. It's just known. We go together. Where you go I go, remember? My parents... Baby, if they make you go I'm moving out, too. We're in this together, remember?"

She nodded into my chest and sighed, "I know. But I don't want it to get that far. You're one of the few that has some semblance of a healthy relationship with your parents, and they're both great people. I just don't want it to get ruined because of me."

I pressed a kiss into her hair and swept my hands across her back, pushing her into me. "Bella, you can't ruin anything. If you want me to keep having a healthy relationship with them, then we'll have to tell them. They'll be so disappointed if they find out we've been lying. They'll understand, love. I'm not saying it won't change shit around the house, but they won't... cast you off. You're... Bella, you're family. You're my heart and soul, and effectively their daughter. You're not going anywhere."

She pulled away a bit and looked up at me, her eyes pleading. "Can we at least wait until we get home? Can we just enjoy the last 2 days here before everything hits the fan? Please?"

I leaned down and kissed her again. "Yes, love. If that's what you need, that's what we'll do."

"Oh, and one more request?"

"Hm?" I mumbled, rocking us slightly in time with the waves.

"Can we... I mean would you mind if, we tried that thing again?"

"Mm, what thing?"

"The thing where you say 'i love you' and I don't say 'mhm' back?"

I laughed, then cupped her face in my hands so that she was looking at me. "Isabella, I love you with every single ounce of myself. You make me be the man I want to be, and I can't do that for anybody else, and Baby, I don't want to." I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. I let my lips linger over her skin, before I leaned my forehead against hers. "You're my whole world, Bella. I love you. More than you can possibly know, I love you."

She closed her eyes and I heard her sniffle a bit. "I... shit. I was just expecting you to say the words." She laughed nervously, and I kissed the tip of her nose. I didn't care if it took all fucking night; she was going to say it. She _wanted_ to say it. "This is it, what's here. You and me, it's all I'll ever want. You're all I'll ever want. You're the only person I'll ever love." She tilted her head up slightly and I could feel her lips brushing across my own as she whispered, "I love you Edward."


	21. Chapter 21

Hey Kella Kella!! Fancy meeting you here!

Woah, it's like... kismet! Howdy, howdy!

Now, I really don't mind saying so but I think our dialogue in this chap is pretty badass, huh?

Isn't it always?

Well, yeah... but in this chap in particular. I tots think it owns the dialogue of a certain S. Meyer, who owns the rights to Twilight and its characters

Obviously. I mean how did SMeyer go a whole 4.5 books without swearing _once_. That's like... sacrilegious!

Dude, I don't even know how I've made it this fucking long without doing it ;)

I, know right? But how about props to the magical goodness that is, I'm sure... RobWard's junk. Even though all of us were INCREDIBLY disappointed that we didn't get a peek in Little Ashes.

Hey, as long as he keeps wearing those tight pants... I'll be a happy camper

See, just like B in this fic, I want MORE. Glad I'm writing her... I can get my craving for NakedWard out in the open. It's kinda therapeutic.

I thought you were all about towelward?

I'm all about (fill in whatever)Ward. But my fave is KelWard - the Ward that's irrevocably in love with _me_. :)

Lol. you deserve it kels, cause you're awesome to the max :)

Whatevs. No I'm not. You totally own this shizz and by shizz I don't mean characters or story.. Though your EPOV is the best in all the lands. Hey, how about we let these peeps get to the good stuff?

Yeah, sounds like a plan. 'Cept your BPOV is like... bomb. Completely awesome. I only feed off of your greatness. Don't make me go Bette Middler on your ass... :P

**EPOV**

Everything was alright... everything was good. So why, then, didn't I feel as happy as I thought I would?

I woke up to Bella's hair in my face, and her legs wedged in between mine. This was it... this was me in bed with the girl I love, but something still didn't feel _real. _I sighed and shifted against Bella, pulling her tighter into my chest. She exhaled softly, and I could feel her breath spread across my chest. She was still mine, I told myself, she was still completely her and completely mine. And she loved me. She said she loved me, and fuck if that wasn't the one thing I had been living and breathing for.

I kissed her forehead gently, and she started to stir.

"Morning, Baby."

She blinked a few times then smiled up at me. "Hey."

I leaned over and kissed her softly, not really knowing what else to do. I wanted her to fix me; to fix _it_ whatever the fuck it was, but in exactly the same moment, I wanted to push her away. I wanted to push it away. I was completely confused.

Bella pushed back on my shoulder and I fell to my back with her on top of me.

"I love you," She said, peppering kisses on my chin and down my neck. "Edward, I love you."

I shut my eyes and kept my hands steady on her sides. "I love you, too."

Fuck this was weird. I didn't know how to react to her when she said that. I know, I know, just say it back you butt fuck, but hell. Did you even stop and look at when she said it to me? She was angry with me; she thought I was going to leave. It didn't matter to me that I wouldn't, or that she was completely fucking insane most of the time, she had probably said it just to get me to stay with her. She'd said it a million and one times last night: she was terrified of being alone. And I couldn't blame her. I would have done exactly the same thing, were I in her shoes. She deserved better than that. What the fuck was I doing to my girl?

I felt her hands dip into the top of my boxers and my hands shot out to stop her. Bella looked up at me, her brow furrowed. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head and pushed her off of me as I stood up. "Nothing... nothing. I was thinking that maybe I'd meet up with my parents. I haven't seen much of them." I grabbed my shorts and threw them on.

She sat up, pulling the sheet up to cover her tits. "Right... yeah. Um, did you want me to go, or...?"

"You can't right?" I said, tossing a shirt over my head. "Your boot? It's probably still waterlogged."

"Oh," She said, slouching a little. "Okay. I'll meet up with you later?"

I went over to her, and kissed her forehead. "Of course, Baby. I love you."

I turned to walk away, but heard her murmur,"I love you, too." as I walked away.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. My parents were definitely not the people I wanted to see right now. Fuck that, I wanted Bella. But I needed to figure my shit out, and staring at little blue fish wasn't gonna help. My girl wasn't a fish.

**BPOV**

What the fuck had happened between the time we got back to the room and this morning? Edward was acting all kinds of pre-menstrual. I tried shaking it off as I got dressed. None of it mattered; he loved me and I loved him and I'd actually fucking said it. Repeatedly.

After I'd thrown on one of the 50 bikinis Alice had packed for me and a pair of shorts I took the elevator down to the main floor and hobbled out to the beach to relax. I didn't know what his problem was, but I hoped he'd give me a hint at lunch today so we could work whatever his shit was out, together.

I laid out on the beach turning over every 20 minutes to burn evenly. After a couple of hours I couldn't take it any more and walked slowly back up to the lobby. Great, I was going to have a light tan and burn but what about the rest of my leg that had been covered? What do you call that; it's not a farmer's tan. Maybe getting some Gimp Sun?

"Bella!" I heard Carlisle's voice shout merrily from down the hall. I spun around sighing with relief. Thank god, Edward.

Only, not so much. As Carlisle and Esme moved closer, I noticed a particular bronze-haired boy missing from the equation. I smiled, hugging Esme lightly. "Hi sweetie. How was your morning?" She asked, taking a step back closer to Carlisle.

"Oh it was good. A little one-on-one time with the beach. How was snorkeling? Did the three of you have fun?"

Esme's eyebrows creased. "The three of us?"

I nodded. "Yeah, Edward said that he hadn't spent much time with you two and he missed you guys. He left really early to meet up with you for snorkling."

Carlisle shook his head. "Maybe he missed our boat. He must've gone later; we haven't seen him all day."

"Oh," I replied trying to hide my confusion. Why would Edward lie to me?

"Have you eaten yet sweetie? We were just about to get lunch."

I mustered up the biggest smile I could and nodded. "Lunch sounds great."

Two hours and a sandwich later, I was wandering back up to our room. I was too fucking tired for all this. I had finally been able to admit that I loved him, and what's the first thing he does? Turns around and lies to me about who he's hanging out with. He could have just fucking said he needed a day to clear his head. Shit, I was there last night too and saying it had been an intense and emotionally grueling evening would be understating it a shit ton.

Regardless, I was exhausted. The sun had drained me, and all the new fucking bullshit that Edward was evidently desperate to continue on, after I thought everything had been cleared up left me wanting nothing more than a nap. I opened the door only to find Edward fast asleep on the bed. I walked over to where he was laying and kicked off my flip flop. He looked so peaceful. And if he needed a fucking day away from Bella the shrew to make him right as rain again, then I would never fault him for it. I curled up beside him, lifting his arm that was stretched out on the bed and laid it over my waist. He gripped my skin and pulled me closer. I grinned at the reflex. My lips lightly brushed over his as I snuggled into his chest.

"I love you." I whispered as I closed my eyes and fell asleep in the only place I would ever want to be - his arms.

**EPOV**

It made more sense once I walked away from her.

All of it.

Not just some of it, but absolutely all of it.

As I paced around the lobby of the hotel, I realized that every moment I spent without Bella was a wasted one. It didn't make sense now, that we'd spent so much time apart, and so much time without each other. But as I continued to fall deeper and deeper, I realized that my life without Bella was a whole lot of nothing. She was my life, my hope; my reason for being. She was everything that I could ever want or need. So why the fuck was I questioning why or how she told me she loved me?

All that mattered was that she did; that she had said it. It was everything that I had wanted since the moment I realized I loved her. She told me she loved me, and here I was, away from her and definitely not where I said I would be. She'd probably be pissed if she knew. She was probably pissed as it was. I ran a hand through my hair, then headed back up to our room. But she wasn't there. Of course she wasn't there; why would she wait for me? I was acting like a miserable shit fuck. I crawled into our bed and buried my face in the sheets so I could smell Bella on them. It would have to do until I got her again.

I woke up a while later to a set of hands pushing against my chest. "No... no.... stop..."

My brow furrowed as I looked down at Bella. Her legs were moving against mine, now, and her face was scrunched up into a tight pucker. She was breathing heavily and she was whimpering softly. I leaned in and kissed her forehead and cheeks.

"Baby? Baby, it's me... it's just me."

She gasped and pushed against me, her eyes still snapped shut. "Stop... don't... don't..."

At that point she was starting to pant, and she was freaking me out. I crushed her back to my chest, but she tried to push me away. The thing was, though, I wasn't going to let her go. "Bella... Bella... Baby... wake up, love...Sweetheart?"

I kissed the top of her head as she struggled against me, then a hopeless sob wretched from her body. "Bella!" I said, a little louder. I was scared shitless, and I just wanted this to end. "Bella... Baby, please!"

She gasped into my chest a few more times before I heard a sharp intake of breath. "Edward?" I kissed the top of her head again, and she wrapped her arms around me.

"Edward... Edward... I love you... so much... I love you."

I pulled away a little and took her face in my hands. "I love you, Bella. I love you. You know that. What's wrong?"

Her eyes shifted away from me, "It's nothing, right? Only a bad dream."

I kissed her forehead, then traced the tip of my nose up the bridge of hers, "Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. I'm fine. Let's just... sit, okay?"

I nodded into her hair, and kissed her again. "It's fine."

"Thanks for, you know... being here."

I laughed and kissed her forehead. "Of course I'm here. I wouldn't want to be anywhere but with you."

Yeah, I know how hypocritical that sounded. But it was how I felt; it was always how I felt. I'm just too stupid to realize shit sometimes.

"You sure? Because, Edward--" I pushed my lips down to hers. She was gonna say stupid shit that neither one of us wanted to hear. It would fuck us up, and I didn't want to let that happen. She moaned into my mouth and I felt her hand go into my hair. I pulled away and let my forehead brush against hers.

"How are we gonna tell them?" I asked, my eyes closed.

"Tell who?"

"Our friends."

"Oh, them." She said with a small laugh. I felt her adjust to get closer, so I pulled her in the rest of the way. "Well, we don't have to."

"Oh?"

She giggled, "Yeah. We could say that you moved away or something... then you could... umm... OH! You could be a girl!"

I laughed sadly. My girl was losing her mind. "A girl? Bella."

"Hey! I think you'd make a pretty girl. We could put you in Navy. That'd be cute."

I kissed the skin just below her eye. She had a patch of faint freckles there that I loved. "Baby, then you'd be a lesbian."

"Oh, no, honey. You'd still have all of your... bits."

"So I get to keep my cock, but I have to wear a dress?" This shit didn't make sense.

"Mhm. It'll be fun."

"Or," I said, trying to get the image of me in a dress out of my mind. "I could just hold you, and touch you whenever the fuck I want."

She hummed contentedly, "I want that. You have no idea how badly I want that."

"Me too. After we get that out of the way, I'm never letting you go. Not for anything." And it was the truth. I wouldn't. She needed me and I needed her.

"Good. I wouldn't want you to."

I leaned down and kissed her again, letting my lips melt into hers. This was perfection; this was my home.

This was where I wanted to be... always.

**BPOV**

Edward always had the right thing to say, _always; _even when he wasn't saying anything at all. We spent what was left of the afternoon making up for spending the first half of the day apart. His lips would roam from mine down to my neck and collar bone but eventually wind up viciously attacking my mouth sooner rather than later. And I enjoyed every fucking minute of it. I could spend the rest of my life doing this and only this and be perfectly content.

All I needed was him.

He had discarded his shirt and was running his hands up and down my sides when the phone rang. "Fuck..." He breathed against my lips. The ringing kept going and going and we pushed through ignoring it completely. It finally stopped and we both sighed as we picked up the pace, grinding against each others' hips. But then the ringing started again. Edward pulled his mouth away and rested his forehead on mine. "Shit." I laughed quietly and nodded in agreement. He lifted himself up off of me and reached for the phone.

"Hello?"

"Oh, hi mom."

My breathing hitched.

"No, um.. I was asleep. I didn't hear you knocking." He said looking pointedly at me. I just shrugged; I hadn't heard a thing either. "Bella? No, I'm not sure where she is. I'll go grab her. Are you sure she's not down there?" He paused briefly running a hand along his jaw.

I sat up and peeked over his body towards the alarm clock. Shit, six fucking thirty. We were half an hour late to dinner.

"Yeah mom, she's probably down in the lobby somewhere. I'll go look for her. Yeah, okay... love you too. Bye." He said hanging up the phone and turning towards me.

"I hate lying to her."

I put a hand on his forearm. "I'm sorry... but we leave tomorrow. We'll tell them when we get home. First thing in the door and 'guess what Esme and Carlisle! I've been blowing your son for 4 weeks. Thanks for having us share a room on our trip, it was _really_ convenient.' I joked lightly. He laughed and rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair.

"Well come on you little hornball. Let's get down to dinner."

We got dressed in record time, a little nicer than usual since it was our last night on the island. Edward had put on some dress pants and a white button down shirt and I threw on a purple tube-top dress that Alice had snuck into the purchases from the trip to Seattle.

Edward's fingers tugged at his hair as I stepped out of the bathroom. "What?"

He shook his head as I made my way over to him, grabbing the keycard and handing it to him to throw in his pockets. "Nothing. Just sometimes I can't get over how fucking beautiful my girl is."

I laughed a little and bit my lip, looking down at the floor.

"Hey." He said nudging my chin up with his fingers. I looked up at him and all I saw was love. That was me and Edward a big fucking sunburnt blob of love. "You are, and I love you." He said bending down a little to swipe his lips against mine.

His hand lowered from my face and wrapped around my hand. "For the record, I love you too." I replied unable to keep the stupid dorky grin off my face. His smile widened and I got a glimpse of his amazing fucking teeth. Just thinking about how they dug into my neck and shoulder gave me chills. "Ready Freddy?" He asked opening the door. I nodded and we locked the door behind us. We walked down the hall and rode the elevator down to the lobby hand in hand.

"Bella! There you are!" I heard Esme shout from across the bar. She hopped off her stood and dashed towards me enveloping me in a hug. "Oh hunny, we were worried. I thought you had gone back up to the room -- wait where's Edward? Didn't he find you?"

I turned my neck around but didn't see him. "Hm, weird. Yeah he found me. I was just kind of roaming around, enjoying our last day here and all. He must have gone to the bathroom or something."

"Well, he can find us then - as long as he's here somewhere. Let's go sit down."

We walked over to our table and sat down. One again with Carlisle and Esme on one side and me and what would be Edward's seat, on the other.

Carlisle ordered our drinks for all four of us, by the time Edward decided to grace us with his presence. He was holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand, the other hand was balled in a fist.

"Sorry I'm late everyone. Mom, these are for you. I'm sorry I'm _really_ late." He said handing her the beautiful bunch of wildflowers. She stood up and gave him a hug. "Aw, sweetie. They're beautiful, thank you." She responded giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before sitting down. He took his usual spot beside me and I felt his hand slide onto my lap. I hovered my hand over his and his fist opened as he placed what felt like a small flower in my palm. I transferred it to my other hand, and entwined my fingers with his. As everyone held up their menus debating what to order I pulled the flower from under the table. It was beautiful. About 3 shades of purple fading into white. I stuck it in my hair just above my left ear and looked at him, smiling. His face turned to look at me and he smiled. I mouthed 'I love you' and he pulsed his hand in mine murmuring back, "me too".

"Hm? What was that Edward?" Esme's voice said over the menus.

Edward placed his down on the table. "Oh, Bella was just saying she might get the seafood risotto, and I said me too."

"Oh, where is that on here? It _does_ sound good." Carlisle helped point it out and all three of us decided to get it, with Carlisle settling on the seared mahi mahi with vegetable puree. The same jackass waiter that had been a thorn in our side since day one appeared with a shit eating grin on his face and peered down at me. "Is everyone ready to order this evening?" Once again, Carlisle ordered for all of us; however the waiter's eyes didn't look anywhere but at me and I pretended not to notice, choosing instead to fixate on my peach iced tea. I could feel Edward trying to stay calm as he scratched my palm and ran his finger tips up and down my fingers.

"Miss?" The waiter asked. My head shot up, glaring at him. "Hm?"

"Are you sure there isn't _anything_ else I can get for you this evening?"

I pursed my lips. "No, I'm alright. I have _everything_ I need." He nodded, hopefully conceding defeat. He confirmed our order with Carlisle before leaving our table.

"That young man does seem _very_ taken with you Bella. Are you sure he wasn't the boy you've spent the week with?" Esme asked after taking a sip of her water.

I nodded. "Yes Esme, I'm positive that wasn't him."

Edward stood abruptly, his jaw clenched as his eyes looked over towards the bar area. "Excuse me a moment, restroom calls." Esme and Carlisle nodded and he walked towards the facilities but past them, directly towards the group of waiters huddled around the bartender.

**EPOV**

This shitfuck was going to pay.

In case it wasn't obvious the other four thousand times my girl turned him down, it would be this time when my fist met his face.

Pleased to fucking meet you.

I went to the bathroom to take a leak, cause after all that was what I was supposed to be doing. But then, as I was leaving I saw the miserable assbitch cackling like an old hen with some of his fucktard friends. But what I heard as I got closer to them stopped me dead in my tracks.

"I had her begging for it, man!" He said, nodding at the memory. "That chick wanted my shit so fucking bad. I guess her dipshit of a boyfriend couldn't give it to her."

"Yeah," one of the other guys laughed. "He probably couldn't even get it up."

"Don't know why," He added. "That bitch is hot."

They all turned to look... at my table. And I knew they weren't talking about my mother. Fuck, Bella. How could you?

The waiter shook his head again. "Yeah, she was asking for it for days, and finally this morning I gave it to her. What a sweet piece of ass she was, too. Nice and tight. I'd say it was her first time."

No.

Fuck.

No.

I backed away slowly, then walked in a daze out to the lobby where I slouched down into one of the arm chairs and put my head in my hands. This wasn't right... this wasn't the way it was supposed to be. This wasn't... this couldn't be... not my...

Shit.

"Edward?" I heard Bella's voice from across the lobby, but I didn't look up. Then she was in front of me, her finger tips laced in my hair. "Hey, what's wrong?"

I lifted my head slowly and looked at her. "What the fuck did I do?"

Her eyes widened in shock and she pulled away. "W-what are you talking about?"

I scoffed and stood up, "You know... you fucking... you know!"

I couldn't even get a full sentence out. I was so fucking pissed at her, and then she was looking at me with those innocent as pie fucking eyes. Bull fucking shit. I walked away from her, and I could hear her coming after me.

"Edward!" she hissed, "Get back here!" She grabbed my arm while I waited for the elevator. "What's the matter?"

The doors opened and I stepped inside. I lifted my eyebrows to her, and she followed, standing closer to me than I particularly wanted. I couldn't be too near to her now... I just couldn't. We got to our floor and she got out first, so I followed her to the room, where she made me open the door for her. Once we were both inside, I let the door slam shut and I turned to her.

"What the fuck is your problem, Bella?"

**BPOV**

What the fuck was MY problem? "What the fuck is MY problem Edward? You're the one fucking running around like a bipolar jackass. What's YOUR problem?"

"You! You are my problem! Did you think I was kidding, Isabella? Did you think that all that shit I said to you last night wasn't true? Because you know what? I've _never_ put myself on the line for anyone the way that I did for you! I told you, Isabella! I fucking told you! This will fucking kill me! I swear to God, Isabella! I swear." He said with a shaky voice, his voice squeaking faintly at the end.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Of course I believed you! Do you think I would have been able to fucking say I love you if I didn't? Where the fuck is this coming from? What the hell happened in the god damn bathroom?" I yelled in frustration. Seriously, was he abducted by fucking aliens and in his place was a completely douchebaggy identical version?

"YOU FUCKING KNOW!" He yelled, shooting my death glares. "You've been dicking around with _him!_ I fucking knew it! Fuck! I can't believe I... I thought it was real, Isabella, I really did. At least for me it was! How... how could you?"

I looked at him wide-eyed. Edward had completely fucking lost is. "What the fuck are you talking about? Of course it was real. I love you more than anything in this entire fucking world. What the fuck are you talking about me dicking around with _'him'_? The only 'him' that I've been trying to get dick from at all is _you."_

_"_Bullshit. Bullshit and you know it. If you cop to it now..." his adam's apple bobbed up and down as he gulped audibly and tugged at his hair. "If you cop to it now... please, just tell me the truth."

I took a step to him and placed my hands on either side of his face, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. "Edward, seriously I have no clue what you're talking about. You're it for me. It's only your hands and mouth I want touching me and only you buried inside me. That's how it's always been." I said softly.

He glared at me with a clenched jaw and dead eyes. "Until you fucked him."

I shook my head, utterly fucking confused. "What? Edward, the only person I've even come close to fucking was you. No one else has been in this area," I said dropping my hand to motion to my lower regions, "except you."

He was huffing shallowly through his nose, his eyes unwaveringly cold. "Don't. Fucking. Lie. I swear to God, Isabella... I can't... I can't..."

"What? do you want to fucking check? Here.." I took a step back from him and wiggled out of my underwear, stepping out of them but leaving my dress on. "Fucking check. My hymen is still perfectly intact. I mean really Edward, really. You think that I would risk _everything_ to go and fuck someone else?"

"Apparently there wasn't anything to risk. You obviously hadn't meant any of it. So what was it, Isabella? Just my dick that you wanted? Or my hands, too?"

I felt the tingle of unshed tears cross my nose and eyes. "You _know_ I fucking love you. And you're my everything Edward. I would never DO THAT to you! You're the only person I've ever even considered sleeping with. And yeah, when it became apparent that you might want that too it made me feel bolder to push things. But I... ugh Edward, even just the thought of anyone but you being inside me... it fucking disgusts me. How could you think I would do that to you? I love you and maybe to you it means jack shit, but it means everything to me. I would never, _ever_ do that to you. You mean too fucking much to me."

His voice was hushed as he stared down at the floor. "Of course it meant something to me. Of _course _it did. Do you honestly think that I would be this upset if it didn't? I just... Isabella, I wanted it to mean something to you, too. I want you to love me the way that I love you, and I don't want you to want for anything from anyone else. But... I guess, if that... If he's... fuck. Why couldn't it have been me? Why? I just... I wanted it so fucking much... " His eyes darted up to mine quickly. They were red rimmed and the tears spilled over the edges effortlessly.

I moved closer to him and returned my hands to his jaw, wiping the tears away gently. I didn't know what the fuck I did to make him so upset, but fuck all if I wasn't going to right it. "Edward... it will be you. I swear on my life, on my fucking parents grave I did not do anything with anyone aside from you. You're my life remember? My fucking reason for smiling at all anymore. You're my present and my future. Remember, telling our kids lies about being naked on Thanksgiving? And you keeping them away from my lack of culinary skills? I won't give up that fucking dream for anything. It's you I love; It's you I want... always. There's never a time that I don't want you, that I'm not thinking of you. This... all if it, even the rough parts..." I sniffled back more tears as I felt a few escape my eyes. "All of it has meant everything to me because I've done it with _you_. I've laughed with you, and cried, and kissed and loved... and fuck Edward the loving you part is the best. I would never in a million fucking years do anything to try and mess that up."

He sighed, resting his forehead against mine. "Isabella, I can't... I just... I want to believe you; I want that so badly, but I need some time." His voice quivered as he whispered, "I... you can't know how badly I need that to be true. So, please... I need some time."

I felt my heart rise into my throat and I gulped to keep from puking it up. He... didn't believe me? After everything? After how hard it was for me to tell him those three words the first time? I closed my eyes and sighed. "Of course. I'll wait forever, if you need me to. Can I just ask one tiny thing?"

I barely heard him as he mumbled quietly, "Anything."

I opened my eyes slowly and looked up at him. "Okay, maybe it's more than one thing," I added grinning shyly. "But, please don't write us off. Please I love you, and if you love me even a fraction of the amount that I do then we can make it through this. Don't give up on what we have, what we've _built_."

He rubbed his hands over his cheeks and jaw looking at me sadly. "I meant it, Isabella, I did. I meant every single word of what I said. I loved you, so fucking much... and it's like... my heart... it's bleeding, Isabella. And I want _you..._only you to make it stop. But I don't know if you can."

The tears streamed down my face silently, without my fucking consent and I didn't even bother trying to wipe them away as I nodded. "I'm... I'm just gonna.." I said point my thumbs back towards the door. I couldn't be here. I couldn't be in the same room as him as he used past tenses like _meant it_, and _loved__**. **_And the last of what he said... that he didn't know if I could make it stop, make the pain go away. That fucking. killed. me.

My feet backpeddled on their own accord and I turned around walking out the door, waiting until I was downstairs and out in the air before completely sinking into the sand in a fit of sobs.

I had wrecked everything, without even _doing _anything.

**EPOV**

She just fucking... left me there.

But it was right, because clearly I didn't deserve her. Clearly, I couldn't even please my girl.

Then it hit me. She wasn't mine anymore. She'd left; she was gone. I wasn't going to get her back. How could I? Fucking... christ.

I hated this. I hated not being with her, and I hated not knowing what was going on with her. I hated that all of a sudden we were full of fucking secrets. I wanted her, I knew that. I wanted Bella, and only Bella for the rest of my life. I was hers; I'd always be hers, and I hadn't any say in the matter. I didn't fucking want one either. God, what the fuck!

I collapsed onto our bed, not bothering to get undressed or anything. I was dead. Fully and completely.

Without my Bella, I didn't exist.

**BPOV**

I sat there on the beach freezing my tits off as I racked my brain over the events that occurred. I felt for the flower in my hair but it was gone, just like Edward. Ugh. I thought about dinner and... oh fucking shit.

That was it. Dinner. Edward had walked by the jackass waiter. He must have... fuck. He probably said something fucking retarded to Edward to make him think... ew. I cringed at just the idea.

My blood began to boil at the jackass talking to Edward, spewing lies and fucking turning my Edward into a person who fucking hated me. Said things like, he _loved me_ in past tense and essentially calling me a slut. I stood up and scurried as quickly as my handicapped ass would take me back to the restaurant. The gentleman at the front desk grinned as he saw me. "Good evening Miss."

Ugh the asshole probably made up some shit to tell this doofus too. "Yeah, where's your little buddy? The fucker waiting my table tonight." I snapped. His eyes widened a little and he licked his lips. "Come back for round two?"

I wanted to fucking _kill_ him. And he wasn't even the one who had started the ordeal. The guy pointed back towards the bar where the asshole was wiping down the counter. "I'll let you guys have some privacy. Let me know if you want company," he said with a wink.

Fucking disgusting.

I strode back towards the douche. "Hey." I said loudly. His head snapped up and he smirked. "Finally come around huh?"

I didn't even fucking answer him I just pulled my fist back and punched him as hard as I fucking could. He stumbled back, gripping onto the counter. "What the--" my manners had no part in this and I interrupted him by slamming my fist into his face again. He stumbled back again, this time tripping on a bar stool and falling back.

I began kicking him as hard as I could in the ribs with my cast-clad foot. "That, you mother fucker is for lying to my fucking boyfriend. And this shit..." I said as I kicked him even harder and he curled up in fetal position, "is for hurting my boyfriend and me with your pathetic..." kick "fucking..." kick "lies.." I ended my tyraid with a strong soccer kick to his nuts.

"YOU CRAZY FUCKING BITCH!" He shouted with a toner a few octaves higher than I'd heard from him before. I smirked, watching him stand up. "YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE! I DIDN'T TELL HIM SHIT!"

"Don't fucking lie to me!" I screamed. He took a step closer and I hit him again, this time with a little less strength. Fuck punching people was exhausting. He shook that one off and closed his fist clocking my right in the eye.

FUCKING BULLSHIT MOTHER FUCKING BITCH ASS COCKSUCKING TWAT, that hurt.

I sniffed and stumbled back rubbing my face. "I didn't fucking tell him _anything_ you psycho. It's not my fault he chose to over-fucking-hear me telling him about my latest conquest."

It didn't register, at all. What the fuck would Edward care if --

"So you're a virgin too?" He said with a shit eating grin as he wiped the blood from his nose with his sleeve.

Fucking shit, that was it. Edward thought I'd... to.. _him_. I wasn't sure if I felt sorry for Edward or was pissed off at him for thinking I'd sink that low and do something like that to him.

My face went pale and his grin broadened. "Well if you ever want to _remedy_ that little situation, you know where I am." He said smugly brushing past me and going through the swinging doors into the kitchen.

I walked back to the hotel room to grab the bucket for ice. I knew my fucking eye was going to look even worse than it felt pretty soon and I wanted to get the swelling down as much as possible before I had to see Edward's parents.

My legs worked as quickly as they could getting in and out of the hotel room to grab some ice. When I got back Edward was still fast asleep on the bed and I sighed debating if I should join him or not. He made it painfully fucking obvious he needed time and space so I wasn't going to push myself on him - literally or figuratively. I changed into a pair of pj pants and a tank top - the most I'd worn to bed all vacation, and wrapped a few ice cubes in a hand towel. I took a look at my reflection and my face was fucking ugly. It was already pretty swollen and looked tender. The bruises were already forming - damn the asshole got a good hit in. I put a little pressure on the area and winced in pain. Fucking shit. This hurt almost as much as the fucking hit itself. I shut off the bathroom light and padded over to the bed that had gone unused the entire trip. I glanced over at Edward's sleeping form.

Maybe if I just laid on the opposite side of the bed, that would be okay... I laid down hesitantly on the same bed at Edward and peered over at him. He looked absolutely drained. My free hand reached out and traced his jawline lightly. He stirred a bit but his body didn't recoil or come closer. So I did the stupid, needy girlfriend thing and inched over to him - even though technically I wasn't his girlfriend anymore. He'd made that clear before I'd left. I nestled against his chest and I felt him suck in a breath.

"Fuck... that's cold" he hissed as his eyes popped open and I looked down to notice the pack of ice had brushed his chest. Oops.

"Sorry." I whispered looking up at him wide-eyed.

**EPOV**

My first thought was that Bella was in bed with me. She was here... she'd forgiven me. But then I actually fucking looked at her. Her eye... it was swollen, and red but not in a I've been crying way. More like in a I've just been punched sort of way. Someone touched her. That was unacceptable.

I curled my fingers under her chin and tilted her face up so that I could get a better view. "What happened?" I murmured.

She smiled up at me, faintly. "I was defending your honor."

"My honor?" I said, cupping her face gently in my hands. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Mhm. I love you, even if your feelings have changed. I had to get shit straight with a certain asshole waiter who apparently had me confused with some hoe on holiday."

My breath caught in my throat as I put two and two together. "He did this to you?"

"It doesn't matter. I got in more shots anyway. At least _I_ made him bleed. It wasn't like that pussy shot I had on you at Em's Halloween Party."

She was joking. She was clearly hurt and she was joking. What the fuck was she thinking? How could she even _think_ to do something like that? "God, Bella, you shouldn't have done that. You... shit... look at your eye."

She shrugged, "S'okay. It'll go away."

No.

No.

It most certainly was not okay. This was fucked up, and that shitfuck was going to pay. I couldn't believe that he'd hit my girl. Mine. He'd hurt her, he fucking hurt me. I went to stand up, but Bella grabbed my arm. "Where are you going?"

"Downstairs. You don't think I'm gonna let this slide, do you?"

"Edward, c'mon. Look, I'm fine, see? I'm here, I'm fine." She tugged my arm again. "_Please_?" She added, pleading with me to stay.

She'd gone through all that trouble. The least I could do was make it better for her now. I sighed and looked back down at her, "Do you need more ice?"

"No, I'm fine." She held up the bag to show me.

"Okay," I said as I crawled back into bed with her, pulling her into my chest. She snuggled in and I put the ice on her eye, then my cheek found the top of her head again. I wanted this to mean that she forgave me and that we'd be okay in the long run. But, I knew it wasn't. I knew that there was too much shit between us and that the likelihood of her ever wanting to give all of herself to me again was slim. I wanted her back, and I wanted to be able to fix everything for her.

Fix it.

I could fix it.

I waited until she fell asleep until I made my move. It almost fucking broke me to have to pry myself away from her, but somehow I did. I crept out of our room, but once I got into the elevator and downstairs, I made as much noise as I wanted on my way back to the restaurant. That fucking ass hole... fuck. He'd pay. I"d make sure he'd pay.

I blew into the restaurant, completely ignoring the seating host who was trying to get my reservation. Then I saw him: he was chatting up some chick like he hadn't a care in the world. I marched over to him.

"Hey, asshole!"

I turned and smirked at me. "Your girl need something?"

I pulled my fist back and knocked him one across the jaw. "You _hit_ my girl, and that is simply unacceptable." He stumbled a bit, clutching his jaw, then recoiled his other fist. But I was quicker and I got him just under the opposite eye. Good. "And that'll teach you not to do it again. I don't ever want to see your mangy ass near my girl every again. Leave us alone."

I turned on my heel and walked away, feeling the pain in my fist mix with the pain in my chest. I only made it half way across the lobby before it was too much. I sunk back down into a chair, my arm to my fucking chest. It hurt so fucking badly to know that I'd lost her.

I didn't want that. I _really_ didn't want that.

She was my girl.

Mine.

She could never be anything to anyone else because she was everything to me.

And after all, isn't that what mattered most?

**BPOV**

I woke up and reached for Edward. My eyes flung open when all I felt was bed sheet. I sighed and sat up against the headboard, running a hand through my hair. Fuck, he'd gone to see the douchbag waiter. I debated going down there, but realized that would probably cause more harm than good if I called him out while he was sucker punching the asshole. So instead I waited, and took many, _many_ deep breaths to stop myself from going down there and wailing on the guy a second time.

I heard Edward jiggle the door and flung it open taking a few long, quick strides over to me. His eyes were dark and he didn't hesitate to hungrily push his lips against mine. I moaned at the contact and his tongue invaded my mouth. His hands gripped the sides of my face firmly and I could feel the hot breath puffing from his nose as we took more and more of each other in. His lips never broken from my skin as he trailed hot, open mouth kisses along my jaw and down my neck. "You're _mine_ Bella; you're fucking _mine. _No one else's - not ever." He panted into my ear, biting the side of my neck roughly. I let out a whimpering moan as my fingers tangled in his hair and pulled. His hands frantically slid down to the edge of my tank top and his fingers danced underneath the hem as he shoved the shirt up my body. He pulled his mouth from my skin only so I could slide it up and over my head and fling it across the room. His lips were quick to land back on mine as he knelt down on the bed, his legs on either side of my own. Fuck this was mother fucking heaven. Obviously the impact from the hit had given me a concussion because there was no way Edward was kissing me like this after... everything. I tugged at his shirt tails before skimming my hands up his chest. He groaned into my mouth and sucked on my bottom lip as I began unbuttoning his oxford shirt. His hands roamed up and down the sides of my body, sending bolts of electric current through me. He bit my bottom lip, tugging it a bit and I moaned, arching my body against his. We both gasped at the skin to skin contact and he shrugged out of the shirt I'd finally managed to unbutton all the way.

I pulled my face away from him, gasping for air. Both of our chests were heaving up and down heavily as my eyes took in his body. His lips were slightly swollen from all the kissing already and his eyes were staring so intensely into mine it was like he was reading my fucking soul.

My lips pushed against his at the thought and I tugged harder at his hair. He groaned and rubbed his erection against my pj bottoms. Noticing the additional clothing, his hands ran along my stomach down to the elastic of my drawstring pants. He shoved them down in one quick motion, thrusting his tongue into my mouth. My hands slid down his solid abdomen that was just fucking perfection personified and made quick work of tugging down his dress slacks. He awkwardly sat up a bit to kick them off before returning to his place between my legs.

This time it was him pulling away from my mouth to catch his breath. I bit my lip looking up at him.

"Are we... are we really doing this?" I whispered staring right at him; I was petrified that he would turn me down.

He leaned his forehead against mine, nuzzling his nose against my neck and taking a deep breath. "I want this... I want you. Do you want me to stop?"

I shook my head. "No." I turned my head to kiss his lips softly, whispering, "please don't; I'll never want you to stop."

**EPOV**

"Then I won't."

And I wouldn't. I would take every last bit of her until she was spent for the rest of out lives. I didn't mean anything without Bella; not any of it. I let my hands slid down her body and hitch under her legs so that I could pull her down onto her back. She was so fucking perfect... I didn't deserve her. I kissed my way down her body, tucking my fingers into the elastic of her underwear and dragging it down the rest of the way.

"Bella?" I said. I had to say it before we went any further. She looked up at me, her eyes hooded with lust. "Bella, I love you."

She sat up and pressed her lips to mine. "I love you, too. Always."

My lips devoured hers hungrily. I missed that shit so fucking much. All I wanted was to possess her and be all over her. I needed it. My body literally craved it. I felt her hands slid my boxers off, and I let my body crash down over hers. I kept planting kisses all over her face because I knew she'd probably be nervous, and I really didn't want her to be. I wanted her to be okay with this and with us. I didn't want her to regret anything.

"Baby... Baby, you have to tell me if you need me to stop." I kept kissing her as I spoke. But really, there was no fucking way I could stop. I just didn't have the self control. "Okay?"

She nodded and I grabbed my cock to position it at her entrance. I ran the tip up and down her slit, and she shivered a bit underneath me.

"Ready?" I asked. I was. I was nervous as hell that I was going to cum the second I got into her and let's face it, there was a very good chance of that happening, given my track record. I smashed my lips to hers as I pushed into her in one quick thrust, swallowing her yelp. Holy hell, she was tight. But it was a good tight. It was like... tight to perfection. The way she felt, wrapped snugly around me, was by far the best thing in the world. Better than her amazing hands or her perfect mouth. This, _this_ was what I needed. I held completely still inside of her, letting her fingers dig into my back and shoulders as her eyes clamped shut. I kissed her eyelids, desperately trying to control the urge to plow into her and just fuck her into oblivion. But I didn't want to hurt her... I wanted her to be okay. But after a few more seconds, I knew I was going to cum if I didn't move.

"Bella, please?" My eyes were pleading. I needed her to say it was okay.

Her eyes opened and she kissed my cheek as she nodded. I pulled out of her slowly, so that only the tip was left inside before sliding back into her. I groaned again as her warmth consumed me, and her little gasps of pain melted into moans of pleasure. Her hand finally left my shoulders and found my ass, where she helped me set a pace. I knew I wasn't going to last long; fuck I was surprised that I got more than one thrust in, and while I could feel her walls beginning to flutter, I knew she needed something else. I used one of my hands and put it in between us to rub against her clit. She gasped and arched off the bed as I kept drilling into her.

"Bella, Baby?" I asked, my voice deep in her ear.

"Uhhhhh..."

""Do you want to cum?"

Her arms came back up to wrap around my neck and she nibbled at the skin just below my ear. "Yes... Oh God, Edward... make me cum."

I bit down again on her neck as I worked her clit with my fingers and kept pounding into her. "Then do it, Baby. Cum all over my cock."

She let out a low moan, then my name as I felt her walls clamp down on me. Shit. I thrust into her one more time and buried my face in her shoulder as I exploded into her, and she milked my cock. Fuck. If I could have formed coherent sentences at that point, I would have. But all I could think was that it all felt so fucking good. I waited until Bella stopped quivering underneath me before I pulled out and rolled over, pulling her with me. I held her tight to my chest, and pushed the hair off of her face. "I love you... I love you so much. I'm sorry." I was still so ashamed. I'd freaked her out for no reason, and she didn't deserve that. She deserved better. Luckily, I could be better.

She sighed contently, resting her chin on my chest and looking up at me as I ran my fingers through her hair. "I love you too. And I'm sorry too. I never want to give you a reason to doubt that I won't give everything to this, to us."

I leaned up and kissed her forehead. "I should've trusted you, and I do. I just... over reacted. You're perfect, Bella. You're everything."

She smiled up and me, and I pulled her back into me and we curled up, falling into a deep sleep. I knew that we'd have other shit to deal with, and that tomorrow would present it's own problems. But when I looked at it, none of it really mattered.

I had my girl.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N:**

**Hey peeps. So go check out Secrets: Yours, Mine and Ours once you're done with this update. It's Bel and I's latest co-authoring adventure. Right?**

**Umm, duh. I still enjoy calling it the smut fic. But, hey, that's just me...**

**You would. But you know who wouldn't? Ms. SMeyer... you know the lady that owns all the characters?**

**Hey she's hardcore into fade to black. OH OH OH!!!! Shout outs??? Can we do 'em? Cause I know none of those guys are into FTB!!!**

**Ummm mmk. So, howdy ho to Clancy and uhh... the wonderful Ms. A aka Zephyr and umm... well those are my homies so I'm good. What about you Bels?**

**LMW, Rebecca's mom, snickerz610 and umm, raok. K, I'm good.**

**Dude, i'm right here. **

**Yeah, I know. But you write BPOV, thusly (yeah, I made that up) you get the biggest motherfucking thank you I can muster. Too bad fanfic doesn't let you make the font bigger...**

**Whatev, your EPOV is the best in all the land - everyone knows it. Speaking of which... this chapt starts out in EPOV so shall we let them get to it?**

**Yeah, I suppose... but your BPOV rocks my socks. That's the only reason I'm writing this... duh, kels :P**

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**EPOV**

I woke up the next morning with a killer headache and mad wood.

Fuck.

I groaned and pulled Bella in closer to me, trying to stay wrapped up in her for at least a little bit longer. We were leaving today, which meant shit was gonna hit the fan tomorrow. I'd been beggin for exactly that for so long that I wasn't sure I was actually ready to handle it. But right now, I didn't want to fucking know. I looked down at Bella and pushed the hair from her eyes, watching her for a moment as she slept. She was mine. Mine. I'd snagged her v-card and now she was completely mine. Fuck, that was amazing. I leaned in and kissed her gently on the forehead, and once I realized how sweet Bella tasted, I kept going. First over her eyelids, then each of her cheeks before finally arriving at her lips. my kiss was soft at first, but quickly deepened once she woke up, pushing her mouth back against mine, and tangling her fingers in my hair. I pulled away, letting my gaze meet hers and seeing a fire that was completely new. I fucking loved it.

"Hey." She said, smiling up at me.

"Hi, Baby." I whispered, adjusting my grip on her. "How do you feel?"

She shifted a little in my arms. "A little sore, but nothing I can't handle."

I leaned in and kissed her again. Sore I could handle. Sore was okay. Sore was better than 'my cooch is on fire. Call 911.' "Good."

I pushed her down onto the bed and began kissing down her neck and chest to her still bare tits. I swirled my tongue around one soft, pink nipple and smiled into her skin as she pushed her chest into my face.

"Shit... Edward..." She said breathlessly. I kissed the bud that had sprung to life there, before pulling it into my mouth and teasing it with my tongue. She arched her chest off of the bed, and I wrapped my arms around her waist, continuing my assault. After I was satisfied on that side, I switched to the other, making sure it got equal attention. I kept my mouth latched to her breast as my hand slid down her stomach to cup her already sobbing wet pussy.

"Fuck, baby." I said, pulling away a bit. "You're so fucking wet for me already. I can't wait to get back into that tight pussy of yours."

"Mmm, Edward... please... please... fuck me."

Her eyes were closed and she was trying to move her body down on my hand, but I was holding firmly in place. I would take her when I wanted. Wow, I really was turning into a cave man. My engorged cock was painfully throbbing between my legs as I kissed my way down her body to her core. Fuck, she was so wet. I leaned in and pressed my mouth to her lips, and she bucked down into me, taking in a sharp breath.

"Oh, GOD... Edward!!"

I hummed against her flesh and she moaned in pleasure. I loved that I could do this to her. But I loved even more that I was the only one who would. I was the only man to touch her and make her writhe and moan. That was what made it all worth it. I kissed my way back up her body, but stopped so that my lips were hovering just above hers. "Bella, I want you. I want to push my hard cock into your tight, wet pussy and fuck you as hard as I can. Please let me have that, Baby, Please?"

I pressed my lips to hers again, and swiped my tongue against her closed lips before pulling away again.

I positioned my dick at her entrance as I whispered, "Please?"

**BPOV**

Like hell I was going to say no to Edward ever again. .Hell.

I nodded and he grinned, pressing his lips against mine as he thrusted into me in one quick motion. I yelped and bit down on his bottom lip. Shit, okay maybe I was a little sorer than I thought. He began moving in and out slowly; I watched his jaw clench and I knew he was trying to be gentle with me after the initial pounding. He started moving more roughly against me and my hips bucked up to meet his thrusts as the pain dulled and was replaced by fucking lust. I needed him, I wanted him; I would always. My teeth scraped along his jaw and I hummed against his skin as he began to move rhythmically against me. "Fuck... Bella, you're so tight, unnnnngh.." he grunted as he pumped into me. "Harder... god Edward, _fuck me_ harder, please I need it... I need you..." I mewled, arching my back as he hit my g-spot with purpose. "FUCK!" I cried out pushing my head into the pillow. He picked up his pace, and buried his face in my neck, sucking and biting down hard as he moaned into my skin. My hands slid down from his hair to his back, digging my nailed into him. "Shit Bella," he breathed into my shoulder. "I need you to fucking cum. I need to feel you cum all around my dick so I can explode in you... can you do that baby, can you..?" He panted as his thumb and index finger snaked down my body and began pinching and rubbing my clit. "FUCK, FUCK!" I screamed as he ground his dick against my sweet spot. How the fuck did he find it so fast? Wasn't that spot supposed to be elusive, with it's existence being of mythical status? Shit, it was like his body just _knew_; like his cock was meant to just be inside me. "UNGH EDWAAAAAAAARD!" I scream arching my back as I felt my body let go and squeezed his dick for all it was worth. I swear to god I saw stars. My nails drilled into his back and he bit my neck hard as he thrusted once more into me and let go. "Fuck Belllllllllla!" he murmured, resting his forehead on my shoulder, gasping for breath. I scratched my fingertips from his lower back up to the nape of his neck and back down affectionately as he laid pressed against me and we both tried to steady our breaths. "I can't get over, how fucking amazing you feel when you cum." He said, his forehead still pressed against my shoulder. I laughed quietly, and kissed his hair that was slick with sweat. "I know what you mean."

He lifted his head looking down at me and kissing my lips softly. "I love you baby," he whispered. I smiled and kissed his chin. "Love you too."

A couple lazy hours and a round of shower sex later, Edward and I were getting ready to meet his parents for a "farewell Hawaii" brunch. Today was our last day and we were taking a late afternoon flight back to Seattle, followed by the nearly 3 hour drive back to Forks. I had just put on my bra when I felt Edward's arms wrap around me from behind. "I love the way you smell," he murmured as I felt his nose drag along the crook of my neck. His body vibrated with laughter and I turned my head to look at him. "What?"

"It seems like I left my mark." He said with a crooked grin. My eyes went wide and I raced to the bathroom mirror. Sure enough, there was a dark purple bruse on my neck. "SHIT!"

"What?" He asked strolling into the bathroom and winding his arms around my waist, leaning his chin on my shoulder as we both looked into the mirror at our reflection. "You're mine, I'm glad the world can fucking know it." I sighed and put my hands over his on my stomach. "Edward, your parents are going to see this. We agreed to wait til tonight, when we were back in Forks to tell them."

He shrugged, kissing my cheek and squeezing me tighter. "So wear a turtleneck."

I arched my eyebrows. "It's like 82 degrees outside. I think they may be suspicious if I go out there looking like I'm in Forks. Plus, I don't think I even brought a turtleneck."

"I dunno, don't you have like... a chick trick you could do to it?"

I turned to look at him incredulously, "Edward, if you weren't aware, I'm not the Cosmo-girl type..." suddenly my eyes widened and the light bulb turned on. "THAT'S IT!" I yelled, pulling out of his grasp and running to my cell phone. I scrolled through my contacts and sent an emergency text to Alice.

**Alice. I'm a slut and I have a hickey on my neck the size of Saturn and as dark as the sky in Antarctica during their winter. Help!**

I sank on the bed, not letting go of my cell as I waited for a response. Edward walked back into the room, sitting beside me. "Is there a Cosmo-girl help line or something?"

I turned to look at him and laughed. "Yes, her name is Alice Brandon." He smirked, shaking his head." You do realize it's the ass crack of dawn there, time difference and all". I nodded. "Yea, but I never ask for her help; I think she'll wake up when she reads my message." And sure enough just as I looked back to my phone, it buzzed.

"Alice."

"BELLAOHMYGOD! WHAT HAPPENED?! WHO GAVE YOU THE LOVE BITE!? DETAILS! I NEED DETAILS!!!!" She screeched. I laughed and took a deep breath. "Alice, it doesn't matter. I'll tell you the who, what, and when's when I get back. Right now, I need to get ready to meet Edward's parents and I can't go down there looking like a domestic violence victim."

She huffed. "Fine, but you better call me the minute you land so I can meet you at your house for details."

"Fine, fine. Just help, _please._"

"Okay, hm... concealer? No, you don't wear makeup... um... what about a light scarf?"

"Don't own one?"

"Ugh, Bella we are SO going shopping when you get home. But that's besides the point... um, what about wearing your hair down? In low pigtails, to make sure it doesn't blow in the wind and show it off?"

That was fucking brilliant, why hadn't I thought of that? Oh right, I'm girlie-ness challenged. "That's perfect Al, I knew you'd be able to help."

"Duh, that's what I'm here for. I'm like your personal fashion guru, Bells."

"I know, and I love you for it. But hey, we're supposed to meet his parents at the restaurant in a few, so I gotta go to finish getting ready."

"What? _We_? Is Edward there?"

"Mhm. We wound up having to share a room, due to a mixup."

"Ugh, I'm so sorry Bella. I hope it didn't ruin your vacation."

I couldn't hide the smile that spread across my face as I turned to look at him. "Nope, it didn't ruin it at all. Actually it was really good... we got to get to know each other more..." I almost told her right there, but I bit my lip and stopped myself.

"Let me talk to him."

"What?"

"You go get ready, I wanna say hi."

Um, okay... kinda weird, but whatever.

"Sure one sec..." I lowered the phone and handed it to him. "She wants to say hi?" I said, questioningly.

**EPOV**

She wants to say hi?

I looked from Bella to the phone then back, "Why?"

Bella shrugged, so I rolled my eyes and took the phone from her. "Alice?"

"Edward, listen and listen good. I have a mission for you."

"What's that Alice?"  
"I know Bella won't do this if I ask her to, so I need you to take a photo of this guy that she met. I need to make sure he's good enough for her."

I smirked and looked up at Bella. "What's good enough for Bella?"

"Don't be sarcastic Edward. He has to be hot, obviously; like ridiculously hot. I'm picturing some tall, buff, dark hawaiian native."

My shoulders slumped a little. That guy was definitely not me. "And if he isn't?"

"Then he better at least be buff and one of the other two."

"What if he loves her?" I asked quietly. FUCK. I really shouldn't have done that... maybe she wouldn't have heard? PLEASE.

"_What_ do you know Edward? Tell me!!"

"I.... uh... she'll get mad if I say anything." Which was the truth. She would be _pissed._

"Edward, she's going to tell me anyway tonight. So just spill already! I promise to be just as excited and giggly over it when she tells me, just... TELL ME!!"

I sighed and checked to make sure that Bella was safely tucked away in the bathroom before I sat down on the bed and lowered my voice about fifteen hundred octaves. "Don't freak out, okay?"

"Promise, now TELL me!"

I took a deep breath and ran my hand through my hair. This shit was harder than it looked. "It's me."

"What's you?"

Good god, sometimes she was even denser than Bella. "I... I love her, Alice. I'm the love bite."

"WHAT?! YOU! OHMYGOD THAT'S SO PERFECT!! WAS IT LIKE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? OHMYGOD HAVE YOU ALWAYS LOVED HER? HOLY CRAP WHEN DID THIS START? DO YOUR PARENTS KNOW? HOLY SHIT YOUR PARENTS ARE GONNA FLIP IF THEY DON'T KNOW!!"

"Alice, you remember that part where you said you weren't gonna freak out? You're not exactly holding up your end of the bargain. But listen, she should probably tell you; we'll see you when we get home, okay?"

"No! Edward, you need to tell me details now! Go out into the hall if you need to. If you don't I'm going to keep calling Bella until she tells me everything! You don't want me harassing your girlfriend... OH WAIT ARE YOU GUYS LIKE OFFICIAL?! OHMYGOD OHMYGOD! I need DETAILS! GIVE THEM NOW!"

I sighed, and went out into the hallway, sitting next to our door. "Of course she's my girlfriend. What do you think, I run around telling people I love them but just so that I can suck on their necks?"

Alice giggled into the phone. "Who knows, you fucked Jessica without calling her your girlfriend. OH MY GOD! DOES TANYA KNOW!?"

"For the hundredth fucking time, I did not sleep with Stanley! And... technically, I was seeing Bella before Tanya. So no, she doesn't." Shit, this sounded weird.

"Wait... WHAT?! How long have you two been together?! WAS IT BEFORE THE FUNERAL! HOLY SHIT! Was that why she got so wasted at the Halloween party?! Because you were all over Jessica?!"

I didn't want to think about that... I was pretty mean to her that day. "No... no. But just after. By the end of that week for sure."

"Holy... wow.." I heard her take a deep breath and I held my own. "How did it happen?"

"What do you mean, how did it happen? We just kind of... fit."

"Well, who made the first move? How did you two figure it out? Because Edward, to everyone on the outside you two may not hate each other anymore, but you certainly aren't close to being friendly."

I smirked into the phone, laughing a bit. "We hid it well, huh?"

"Edward?" I heard Bella call. SHIT.

"Yeah. Really well. I just... I can't believe she didn't say anything to me.." She said, sounding a little put out.

I held the phone away from my ear and yell back to her. "I'm coming, baby!"

"Hey... hey, It's okay. We were gonna tell everybody once we got back. It's nothing personal; we just didn't want to freak people out. I mean, it's a stretch."

"Yeah, no shit it is. But I mean... I dunno. I'm just being sensitive is all. I'll talk to her when she gets back since it sounds like you have to go. You better be treating her well though Edward. I don't care if I've known you since Kindergarten; if you hurt her I'll get Jasper to hurt you and then finish you off myself."

"Can I tell you something? Be completely honest with you?"

"...yeah."

"I would rather die than hurt her, Alice. She's... she's my whole fucking life now." It felt weird saying it, but good at the same time. It was the truth and I was tired of only the two of us knowing.

"I'm glad to hear you say that. Now get back to my best friend; it sounds like she needs you."

I laughed, "Oh, yeah... she needs me, alright."

"Ew Edward."

"Sorry, Alice. I'll talk to you later?"

"Yea. Remind Bella to text me when you guys land, I wanna meet you at your house."

"Alice..."

"Shut up Edward. You've had her all week, I miss my friend!"

"Just, please, promise me you'll be gentle? She still in the boot, and--"

"Edward I know how to be a friend! Jesus, you'd think I was as mean to her as you've been the last few years. Sheesh! Anyway, get back to Bella. I'll see you guys tonight! Bye!" She said, and I heard the phone click off.

I sighed and put Bella's phone on the ground and ran my hands through my hair. Was I really that miserable to her? I knew I was harsh, but fuck. I didn't think it was that bad. Fuck. Maybe I didn't deserve to be with her after all. I heard the door open and saw Bella's shadow cast on the floor.

"Everything okay?"

I looked up at her and grabbed her hand, tugging her down so that she was in between my legs and I could hold onto her. "I'm sorry."

"...for...?" She cupped my jaw with one hand, looking at me worriedly. "Edward, what happened?"

"I didn't realize how mean I was to you... before. It hurts that I made you hurt, you know?"

She sighed and smiled, shaking her head and kissing my lips. "It's fine; we both did a lot of damage to each other." She kissed my nose "Did Alice say something?"

"No... she just put things in perspective. Halloween... you know." I said, leaning my forehead to hers.

She kissed me again and said, "Halloween seems like forever ago. We're okay Edward," I felt her forehead nod against mine. "really."

"You sure? Cause, baby, I hate that I hurt you."

"It wasn't only you, remember? I did my fair share of bitchy shit to you too. I'm sorry too."

I squeezed her again, hoping that would help and she kissed my nose again. "How come everybody thinks I fucked Stanley?"

She laughed. "Because that's what Stanley told everybody. And girls aren't typically the ones to spread rumors like that about themselves."

I moved my head to her shoulder and kissed the skin there. "You know, I never did figure out how I got my reputation."

"Well it doesn't matter now. Cuz the only girl people are going to talk about you fucking is me."

I laughed into her skin and nuzzled her neck. "Good thing I am."

"Repeatedly if I have anything to say about it. Maybe we should quell everyone's suspicions when we get back and just do it in the cafeteria."

I slid my hands down to cup her ass and pull her closer to me. "I could do that."

Her hips were grinding against mine as she whispered, "Maybe we should practice out in this hall first..."

She was bluffing. I moved my hand up her thigh to push away her dress, and let my fingers brush across her core. She was already wet for me. "I'm down."

She pulled back from me and pulled down her underwear, tossing them beside me. Then, she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. "you're move."

I put my hand in between us to unzip my fly and pulled out my hard on through the slit in my boxers. I lifted her up and guided her slowly down on my cock. We both groaned as I filled her, and I quickly pushed my lips to hers when I was all the way in. I pulled back, breathlessly and whispered against her lips. "Baby, you have to be quiet okay?" It was taking every ounce of strength in my body, not to yell and scream and pound into her. I let my hands drop to her hips to help her thrust up and down on my cock and she even started to roll them when she was down. I pushed my face into the crook of her neck and and started panting as her hands made their way to my hair. I could feel her hot breath on my cheek and her little grunts and moans were enough to keep me going.

"Baby," I whispered, kissing her neck. "Baby... shit... I'm gonna cum. Come with me, okay? Baby, for me."

"Edward..." she breathed, moving a little bit faster on my cock. I reached in between us and started working her clit and soon there after, I felt her walls clamp down on me as I exploded inside of her and she milked my cock like her life depended on it.

Once her orgasm subsided, she leaned her head to my shoulder, trying to catch her breath. "We... we... should go. We still have to pack."

I smiled into her skin and kissed her. "Baby, do me a favor."

"What's that?"

"Pack an extra pair of underwear. You're gonna need 'em."

**BPOV**

Brunch went seamlessly. The jerk of a waiter wasn't there, which calmed me, and I'm sure Edward down significantly. Alice's pigtail idea was fantastic and neither Esme nor Carlisle seemed to notice the blemish. Eight hours, a mile high club fuck and two trips to the bathrooms at LAX for oral servicing later, we were landing in SeaTac airport. Edward had been right in suggesting bringing another pair of underwear and after LAX, I almost wished I'd brought two. It was after LAX too, that I started getting nervous.

We were rounding the last leg of keeping things quiet and the nerves were creeping up. I wasn't worried so much about our friends; I knew Edward had been right when he said it didn't matter what they thought. The anxiety was stemming from telling his parents.

We met his parents just outside the gate. "How were your seats dear?" Esme asked me wrapping her arm around my shoulder. I shivered immediately. Fuck, I forgot we weren't landing somewhere warm, I should have worn jeans instead of one of Alice's summer dresses. Her hand ran up and down my arm trying to get me warmer. "Sweetie you're freezing. Here wear my jacket." She offered, stopping to unpack her carry on.

"Mom it's okay, Bella can wear this." Edward said, pulling his hoodie up and over his head. I smiled in appreciated and pulled it over, smelling his soap wash over me. "Well thank you Edward." Esme commented, zipping up her bag.

They began walking in front of us, and Edward wrapped an arm around my waist pulling me against him and kissing the top of my head. I knew it was a risk, that his parents could turn around at any moment. But we'd agreed to tell them and his touch was calming me down whether or not he knew it, so I didn't mind in the least. They were going to find out anyway, right?

Carlisle turned his head looking back at us. His eyebrows shot up. "Um, Edward?"

"Yeah dad?" Edward asked, not letting me go in the slightest as he looked towards his father.

"Your mother and I are going to get the car. Can you and Bella round up all the luggage and we'll meet you outside of baggage claim?"

He nodded. "Sure."

Carlisle nodded too, pursing his lips. "Right. Okay then." He turned his head back and they went left where Edward and I went right.

"So that was a little weird right?" I asked as we stood side by side, eying the suitcases as they circled.

"No, not really. He didn't say anything. It would have been weird if he'd called us out right then."

"But he probably knows, which means he's probably going to tell Esme."

He shrugged. "Maybe, or maybe he just thought we were really tired." Haha, a bit far fetched, but I'd buy it - especially since it was keeping my heart rate steady.

We grabbed the 4 suitcases and wheeled them outside, waiting for Carlisle's silver Benz to appear. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me to him. "It'll be okay baby; I promise." He said kissing my forehead. How did he fucking do that? Was I really that transparent or could he just read me that well? I sighed into him and lifted my head to kiss his lips. "I hope you're right. I love you no matter what though."

He smiled and kissed the tip of my nose. "I love you too baby."

His parents pulled up a few minutes later and we loaded the trunk with bags, stuffing Edward's duffle bag on the floor beneath my feet. The four of us spent the drive home talking about our favorite parts of the trip - of course ommitting the sex and the whole romantic part of the equation. As we pulled up to the driveway, I saw the Alice's spikey black hair peeking out from the stairs leading to the front door. Shit, I had forgotten to call her when we landed.

"BELLA SWAN!" She shouted, standing up and running over to where we had just parked. I got out of the car and was attacked by a flying hug as Alice thew herself onto me. Esme and Carlisle laughed as I wrapped my arms around her.

"You didn't call me! I've been waiting for like... hours because I wanted to make sure I saw you before school tomorrow." She replied, a twinkle in her eye. Shit, right.. she was going to be the first person I told. I looked over at Edward then back to Alice, smiling. She was grinning from ear to ear.

"Edward, you're okay with taking Bella's things up right? I mean her leg is still busted."

"But it'll be fixed tomorrow!" Esme added as she and Carlisle opened the front door. "Remember Bella, tomorrow we have an appointment with Dr. Fergeuson to get your boot removed."

I nodded watching them go inside, leaving the door open for us. Great, I was coming home to out me and Edward and then getting my fucking cripple status upgraded to semi-functional which is as good as I'd ever be. Maybe this week wasn't going to be shit after all.

Edward turned towards Alice, his duffle bag sitting on top my suitcase. "Yeah Alice I got it." He replied wheeling towards us. He kissed the top of my head. "Don't be too long okay? We gotta figure out shit for later."

I froze. Great, so _that's _how Alice was going to find out. She bit her lip but the smile broke through and she giggled.

"What?" I asked her as I watched Edward walk up the pathway towards the front door.

"What WAS that?" She inquired grabbing my hand and leading me towards the porch.

"Umm... that was..." shit this was harder than I thought it was going to be.

"Yeah...?" She pushed as we sat down on the swing to the right of the front door.

"Well, um... Edward and I are, uh... kindoftogether." I said hurridly, looking down at my hands. I took a deep breath and looked up at her.

I expected a scowl, or confusion or _something _other than what I was faced with. She was... beaming.

"When did it happen? How? What made you change your mind about him? I NEED ANSWERS!" She said excitedly, gripping my hands and bouncing in her seat beside me.

I giggled and shook my head taking another deep breath. Why had I thought this was such a bad idea again? I told her about how I'd realized he may not have been as bad as I thought, and then after everything was cleared up with Emmett, how things just kinda... happened. I blushed as I told her about how great TowelWard was and she begged me to take a picture with my phone the next time he made an appearance. We giggled and I felt... relaxed. For the first time since we had started seeing each other, I felt like maybe things would just work out. Like maybe he and I _were_ meant to be together.

"Was he the island boy?" She asked after she'd pried the details of our first kiss from me.

"What?"

"Is he... _you know_... did you and him...?" she asked, her cheeks turning pink.

My face flushed and matched hers as I looked down again and bit my lip.

"OHMYGOD! IT WAS! IT IS! You and Edward..." she said, trailing off and covering her mouth with one hand. I looked up and we both broke out into a fit of giggles as I nodded.

"Well... how was it? Did you like it?"

I exhaled slowly and nodded. "He's kind of amazing. Though I don't really have anyone to compare him to, but I'm pretty sure he's a fucking sex god."

She laughed. "Well, does he make you orgasm? Does he get that far?"

I blushed a deep red and her smile grew. "Good for him and good for you. You deserve to have your socks knocked off."

My body froze as I heard the door open.

"Oh hey Edward." Alice said glancing over at the doorway.

"Hey..." he trailed off.

"I guess you want your girlfriend back?" Alice said with a smirk. I turned to look at him with what must have been the dumbest fucking grin on my face and he closed the distance between us as I stood. His arms were around me in an instant as he kissed my forehead. "You told her." He murmured into my hair. I nodded.

"AWWWWWW!!!" Alice squealed as she jumped up and did her best to wrap her arms around both of us.

**EPOV**

Okay, the one good thing about no one knowing about Bella and I was that I didn't have Alice all up on my shit when I was trying to have a moment with my girl.

"Uh, Alice? Do you mind?"

Alice pulled away quickly, her eyes still like saucers. "Oh, right.." She giggled and sat back down on the swing. "Hey does this mean we can double date? Because seriously, I'll call Jazz right now to meet us here."

"Oh, God..."

"That's a YES! I heard it!" All of a sudden she was texting Jasper and grinning.

I dropped my head down to Bella's shoulder and groaned. Her fingers tangled in my hair and she said. "It's okay. I'll get us out of this one."

I kissed the side of her neck, "I love you... even more than I did before." I wasn't sure that was possible, but apparently it was.

Bella pulled away from me and turned to face Alice. "Hey Al, can we get a rain check? We're still on island time and I'd like to fuck my boyfriend a few more times before real life kicks in."

Ohhh, that shit was hot. I wasn't sure I had any bodily fluids left, but for her I could make some.

Alice blushed and started frantically texting. "Oh, right. Duh... Um, yeah. We'll all like catch up later or something. Did you want me to just..." She pointed over her shoulder to her car, and began to back peddle.

"Yeah, Alice, that'd be great." I said, pulling Bella back into me and running my hands over her sides. In front of another person. This... this was pure fucking bliss. I watched as Alice tripped and stumbled her way back to her car, and leaned my head on Bella's shoulder. "Baby, I'm glad we told her."

She spun around quickly to face me. "Me too. Can we just like... go down the fucking list and tell everyone? Because I'm ready. Now that the first one is down, it seems like the easiest thing in the world. I can't wait for everyone to know that I love you and you're mine."

I laughed at her, and cupped her face in my hands. "Baby, it's not like we're pregnant or something. We just show up and you hold my hand. Maybe grope my ass a little."

She smirked and grabbed my ass with both hands squeezing and pushing my pelvis into hers. "I still like our cafeteria announcement idea better."

"Baby... we'd get arrested or something. Can't you just... hold my hand." I had to talk her down, so I sounded like a chick. Whatever.

She shrugged me off and pulled away. "Fine whatever, you don't want me... I get it." Then she left me and went into the house.

Shit... wait... what the fuck? I opened the door and just fucking yelled. "BELLA!"

I watched her turn slowly, but she didn't say anything as she began hobbling up the fucking stairs. I crossed my arms over my chest, watching her try and grip the banister with the sleeves from my sweatshirt covering her fingers. I didn't help her but waited until she got to the top before I called her again. "Bella?"

She turned slowly and looked down at me. "Yea?"

"Baby... what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just need to simmer down. It's obvious that I'm more attracted to you than you are to me. I just need a couple minutes to chill out."

I took the stairs two at a time, and her face was mere inches from mine. "Baby, you think that because I won't fuck you in the cafeteria I'm not as attracted to you?"

Her eyes were unyeilding. "I'd fuck you in the cafeteria, even if it meant suspension or getting arrested, if you really wanted to. But it was just a stupid joke, the fact that you couldn't even run with it proves you aren't."

"Wait, what? Bella, shouldn't the fact that I was taking you seriously be a hint that I was considering it?" This really didn't make sense to me... not even a little bit. I thought I was getting laid tonight, and now we're arguing because I didn't know she was joking? What the fuck?

She sighed and shook her head. "Nevermind. You're right, I'm probably just tired and overly sensitive or some shit." She said, taking my hand. "Can we go into your room so we can lay down and I can apologize?"

I pulled out of her hand and scooped her up, carrying her to my bed. I put her down and then flopped next to her, letting out a puff of hair. "Baby... you can't do that shit to me."

I felt her roll onto her side before she spoke. "I know. I'm sorry. I know you want me, just sometimes... I forget why. And then something stupid like that comes up and my head just automatically runs with it." She kissed me slowly, then began working her way down my jaw. "I'm really sorry Edward."

I sighed and laced my fingers in her hair. "Bella... Bella, just stop okay? Please, just stay here with me? Don't fuck me, don't blow me, just like... I don't know... love me?" I was too tired to care that I sounded like a pussy and too tired to care that she would probably be mad about this, too. Was it really so much to ask to just hold her?

She sighed and crawled on top of me, looping her arms around my neck and holding me. "I always love you. I'll always love you." She whispered.

I moved my hands to hold her waist and kissed the top of her head again. "I love you, too. I love you, too. So much, baby... don't forget it, okay?"

She nodded into my chest and sighed again, so I let it go. She could be mad at me in the morning, but as long as I didn't have to go to sleep alone, I didn't care.

She loved me. I didn't need anything else.

**BPOV**

I woke up in the middle of the night. But really, we had passed out at like 8, so no wonder I was wide awake at... 4:37am. I smiled, watching Edward's face contort as he dreamed. My fingers lightly brushed the hair off his forehead and he grumbled as I kissed his bare forehead. Yesterday's conversation with Alice had gone far better than I had thought it would and I was actually excited to tell everyone else; even my fear of telling his parents was lifting. I sighed, kissing his forehead once more before rolling out of bed and walking across the hall to my room.

It seemed so unfamiliar. I had spent far more nights in Edward's bed than my own and as I flopped onto it, it seemed colder and lonliner than I remember it being. After laying there a moment trying to get comfortable, I gave up and stood back up, walking over to my suitcase and emptying its contents. I filled my small laundry basket full of dirty clothes from the trip and slowly trekked down the stairs to the washer, filling it up. While I waited to transfer its contents to the dryer I went out to the backyard and sat down watching the sun begin to peek out over the horizon. I sat out there for awhile, watching night to turn day and laughed at the sybolism of it. Edward and I would essentially be going from night to day as far as our friends were concerned, from hating each other to being in love. I sighed and breathed in the cool crisp air. I loved the sun, but there was a freshness that only cold air could bring. I gulped it down hungrily and finally stood, walking back inside to transfer my clothes out of the washer.

I made my way back up the stairs and into the bathroom to shower. I had just put shampoo in my hair when I heard a knock on the door. "Bella?" Edward's voice echoed from the other side.

"Yea, come in." I said and heard the door open, close and lock.

I heard the sliding door open and close and my eyes shot open as I felt his arms encircle my waist, pulling me back towards him. His lips attached to my neck as he whispered, "Baby, you left me."

My ass ground against his obvious erection and he let out a puff of air against my shoulder. "I'm sorry; I just couldn't sleep."

"So I guess you aren't mad anymore?"

I spun around to face him, smiling. "I was never mad. I was just being dumb and tired. Are you still mad that I wanted to attack you?"

His hands reached up to cup my cheeks as his lips planted soft kisses on my forehead, nose chin and finally settling on my lips. "I wasn't mad. I was just tired, and trying to be logical." He replied as his lips hovered over mine.

My arms latched around his neck as my mouth pressed against his firmly. His hands slid down my sides past my hips and palmed my ass, lifting me a bit to grind against his dick. One of my hands slid from his neck down his chest and gripped his cock tightly. He moaned into my mouth and I took the opportunity to slide my tongue between his lips. My thumb ran across his head, spreading his precum around for lubrication as my hand began moving hard and fast up and down his shaft. He tore his lips from mine leaning his head against the tile as his breath quickened. "Fuck Bella.." I squeezed tighter and pumped my hand a little faster as I dropped to my knees, taking his tip in my mouth. His hands tangled in my hair as he tightened his grasp and moved my mouth up and down on his length. "Fuck, god your mouth feels... mmm.. incredible." He moaned as his hips began rocking against me. My other hand moved to cup his sac and pulsed around his balls. "FUCK!" He groaned loudly, pulling my hair harder as his hips fucked my mouth faster. My tongue pressed against the big vein that ran down his shaft forcefully and I moaned, sending the vibrations through his cock. "Shit Bella, FUCK! I'm gonna cum... fuck..." I continued to hum and squeezed his sac a few more times before his breath hitched and he let out my name like it was a requiem, over and over again. I swallowed every last drop of his cum and licked him clean, before standing up in front of him. One of his hands reached up to cup my face as his lips pressed against mine feverishly. I moaned in surprise and smiled, licking my lips as he slowly pulled away.

"I love you baby." He murmured pressing kisses randomly along my neck, shoulder and collar bone. "Mmm... I love you too."

We finished showering and took our turns scampering out of the bathroom in our towels. I debated taking a photo for Alice of Edward in just the towel, but decided against it. TowelWard was mine and mine alone. I wasn't going to share him with anyone.

I threw on a pair of jeans, and a dark purple v-neck sweater. I swiped some strawberry lipgloss for an extra bit of confidence. Today was the big day, everyone would fine out and we'd know where we stood with everyone by 3:30. I won't lie, the butterflies were there, but I knew even if everyone wrote us off at least we'd have Alice and I suspected Angela & Ben in our corner. I threw my other tennis shoe in my backpack, excited for getting the fucking boulder of a boot off my leg. I walked out of my room to find Edward sitting on the first step leading down to the stairs, sending a text. He looked up towards me and smiled. "Apparently I missed four text messages from Jasper last night. Do you want to hear them?"

I laughed and walked over to where he was sitting. "Sure."

"Text message number 1: What the fuck, you and Bella? Is this a joke? Tell me this is a joke."

I laughed but the butterflies acted up as I realized this was just the tip of the iceberg to the response I'd expected.

"Text message number 2: Okay obviously this isn't a joke. Sorry. Bella's cute though, way to go. How'd you get her to get over you treating her like shit?"

I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed, smiling.

"Text message number 3: Did you bone her??"

He and I both chuckled at that one as he turned his head to kiss my temple.

"And lastly, the best one of them all... text message number 4: you're boning her right now aren't you!? That's why you haven't answered any of these fucking messages. Fuck, god now all I'm going to have in my head when I see you two is a picture of the two of you going at it porn style. gross dude. i hate you."

I laughed. "You know what would be awesome?"

"What?" He asked, standing up and holding out his hand for me to take. I took it and he grabbed our bags as we walked down the stairs.

"If you asked him for tips."

His face fell. "Why? Should I?"

Shit, totally not how I meant it to come out. "No, no... _god no_. You are fantastic. Seriously. I meant so that while he was thinking of shit he liked to do, he would then have a mental pic of you and I in its place. It would totally take his mojo away."

He grinned wrapping his arm around my shoulder as we walked out of the house. "You're fucked up baby. Hilarious, but fucked up."

**EPOV**

I held Bella's hand as we drove to school and once we got there she didn't pull away. I pulled into a space at the far end of the lot and, after a quick glance in the rear view mirror I turned to her.

"Baby, are you sure you're ready for this?" I didn't want to push her into anything. Telling Alice was one thing, but telling everybody would be... serious. There wouldn't be any going back after this.

She nodded and leaned in, brushing her lips to mine. "I love you. I'm sure if you're sure."

I opened my eyes slowly, grinning at her. "Then why the fuck are we still in the car?"

"Because you wanted to fuck me in the back seat before first period?" She said with a smirk.

I raised an eyebrow. "You really want to? I could ask Jasper for some tips..."

"Yes, please. Through the window, during the act. Just mouth it out while you're taking a break from sucking my neck." Her lips were pressed together as she stifled her laughter.

I would not be accused of not playing along ever again. I pulled her into my lap so she was straddling me and kissed her hard. My hand found it's way to the window control, but before I could do anything I felt her hand come over mine.

"What are you doing?"

I looked up at her, trying to play innocent. "Calling Jasper, like we said."

She laughed and buried her head in the crook of my neck and ground her hips into my cock. "you don't need to call Jasper, but I'm perfectly okay with playing along with the rest of it."

"Seriously, right now?"

She laughed. "If you want. You know I love feeling you buried inside me."

"Bella," I sighed dropping my head to her shoulder. "You're making me so hard."

She ground her hips to mine again, and I almost creamed my pants. "It's your call. We've got almost half an hour before the bell rings."

I glanced in the rearview mirror again, and saw the crowd staring at my car. "Baby, we should get out. We've got an audience."

She sighed and bit down on my neck. "Fine fine, but you owe me a good fucking in this car." She rolled off of my lap and into the passenger seat, running her fingers through her hair. "Okay I think I'm ready for the masses. You sure you wanna be seen slumming it with me? This is the last call."

I grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. "I love you. Where you go I go, remember?"

She nodded and bit her lip, then reached for the door handle. "Let's get through this then."

I grabbed her before she could pull away. "Hey... It's going to be fine. Fuck 'em if they can't handle us, okay? You have me, and I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded, and stepped out, and I followed suit. Our mutual group of friends were all crowded around each other, staring at us. God, these guys needed a new game plan. Bella came over to my side and I nodded in their direction. "What do you suppose they're saying?"

"Probably that we make a cuter couple than any of them." She said, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

I smirked in there general direction,and slipped my arm around her waist. "C'mon, let's get in there."

She kissed the side of my neck and snaked her arm around my waist. "Yeah... fuck them."

I smiled and began pulling her into school. "That's my baby."

We went into bio, where I remembered why she wanted to hide this shit in the first place. Tanya was sitting at my lab table, shooting daggers. I sighed and looked down at Bella. "I love you, baby."

She smiled up at me, "I love you too. Don't let blondie touch the goods, k?"

I nodded and rolled my eyes as she hobbled over to Newton. I shot him a glare, and he better hope he was keeping his hands to himself because I would not hesitate to kill him in this classroom with my bare hands. I went over to my table and slid in next to Tanya who refused to look at me.

"I thought you weren't seeing her." She said, disdain dripping from her voice.

I shrugged, running a hand through my hair. "We went on vacation... put shit in perspective."

"Like what? Her shriveled cunt?"

"Holy fuck, Tanya, where the hell do you get off?" I said, not particularly caring who heard me. "What the fuck has she ever done to you? I don't even think you've said two words to her the entire time you've been here."

She turned to glare at me, her eyes like ice. "I don't have to speak to her to know she's a frigid bitch."

I clenched my fists and narrowed my eyes at her. "Listen, you look at Bella the wrong way I'll kick your ass so hard you won't know what hit you. Stay the fuck away from her. Understand?"

She scoffed and flicked a piece of hair over her shoulder. "Whatever, Edward."

I rolled my eyes and looked over at Bella, who was staring right at me and mouthed 'are you okay?' I nodded and gave her a small smile just as the bell rang and for once I actually listened to what Banner was saying. It helped to keep me from smashing Tanya's head against the desk.

**BPOV**

It was hard, sitting Bio not knowing what Tanya was doing or trying to do to Edward. I trusted Edward, but Tanya seemed like a total cunt rag and no doubt she would be pissed at him for being with me now. Mike had tried talking to me a few times, but every time I would turn and stare at him like he had 3 heads. That shut him up real quick. What felt like hours later, the bell finally rang. Edward was at my side immediately, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Now I get why you always fought me off her Cullen." Mike sneered, sliding his books under one arm.

"Really, Newton? Really? You wanna start shit already?"

"Edward," I began, facing him. "Will you walk me to my next class?" He looked down at me, then back at Mike clenching his jaw. "Yeah, let's get outta here."

I smiled and wrapped my arm around him as we walked out of the room. He walked me over to my locker. "How do you feel about skipping second period?" I asked sliding the combo lock open.

His eyes lowered and I saw his jaw tense as he looked over my head. "Yeah, whatever"

"... what is it?" I asked turning around to see what he was looking at.

"Nothing. I'm just trying to see if that miserable shit fuck is coming back."

I placed my hands on either side of Edward's face, pulling him down to my eye level. "Don't worry about him Edward. It's you and me remember."

He sighed, kissing my lips quickly. "Yeah. I love you."

I smiled and leaned my forehead against his. "Now, I don't know about you but I could totally use an endorphin high. So... how about we bail on second period and we cash in this morning rain check in your car?" I whispered, grinning mischievously.

His arms enveloped me and he pressed his lips into my hair rocking us a little. "Can we just go home?"

I sighed into him and pulled away just enough to look up at his face. "We still haven't faced the friendly firing squad yet. Plus your mom took the day off since she's picking me up at lunch to take me to get the monstrosity removed."

"So?" He murmured into my scalp.

"So what's going to be our excuse to leave school early after a week away?"

He chuckled and pulled me closer as the first bell rang. "What were our excuses before?"

"Well your mom was at work normally. I don't know... could you drop me off back here before lunch so I can meet her?" I asked biting my lip.

He took a step back, his eyebrows furrowed. "You really would just go home and lie in bed with me all morning?"

"Um.. yeah. Why are you surprised by that?"

"I dunno. You were just so worried about what our friends would think, and now we're gonna sneak off? You're okay with that?"

I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his chin. "We told one, two know... they probably all know by now." I shrugged. "You were right... what you said in Hawaii, as long as it's us fuck everyone else."

"Well, then c'mon." He said, grabbing my hand and walking quickly down the hall towards the main doors.

**EPOV**

I dragged her out the door and to my car, where I quickly sped home.

Part of me liked it when no one knew because that meant that no one could have any say in our relationship. That was the part that I hated. The dumb fucks who thought they knew everything. No one would know about Bella and I; I'd make sure of it. We pulled up to the house and I leaned over, kissing her temple.

"Baby, no matter what happens, I love you okay?"  
Her eyes locked on mine and I could tell she was worried. "I love you too... why, what's going to happen?"

I shook my head and cupped her face in my hands. "Nothing... nothing, Baby. Just... whatever anyone says, I love you. And there won't ever be anyone for me but you."

She kissed me desperately, like she thought I was going to fucking leave or some shit. "Me too" she said, her lips hovering above mine.

I slid my seat back again, and pulled her into my lap, with my cheek to her forehead. "Do you remember that time, a while ago, when you caught me coming out of the bathroom with the towel on?"

She laughed a little. "Yeah, why?"

"Becasue you were kind of adorable then. You were all 'tooth brush' then you didn't want to brush your teeth in front of me. You know... I'm pretty sure that was the first time I thought of you as a girl."

She pulled away, looking at me incredulously. "And before that, I was what, a centaur?"

I tried to hide my laughter as I replied. "No, love. You were the shrew queen, of course."

"Edward, FYI - queens are still girls. Unless you're talking about drag queens. Did you think I was a drag queen?!" She laughed ,hitting my shoulder playfully.

I furrowed my brow and dipped two fingers into the waist of her jeans, pulling them away from her body as much as I could. "Are you? Then, baby, where are you hiding your dick?"

She looked down at my fingers and unbuttoned her jeans. "I'm not. I'm trying to prove that I'm not. You're free to look and or feel around if you want confirmation."

I laughed and poked at her covered mound. "Nope. Feels like a vagina."

She laughed at me, "Is that enough research then? Are you positive in your conclusion?" she asked as she buttoned up her pants.

I leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Yeah, I'm positive. Hey can I ask you a question?"

She nodded. "Sure."

"How come, after fifth grade, you didn't ever... try? I mean, I get that you were mad at me and that you thought I was a prick, but baby, you must have loved me all along."

"I must've huh?" She asked with a smirk.

I shrugged. "We kinda... fell in place pretty quickly, don't you think?"

She sighed and looked away, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth. "Yeah maybe. I mean, even when you were being a total ass... like the biggest fucking dick on the planet there were times when you wouldn't be taking that shit out on me and I'd get butterflies..." she shrugged a little. "maybe the crush just turned into love over time but I was too busy hating you because you didn't want me. There's no point in pining for something you'll never have, right?" Her eyes snapped back to mine, and she sucked her lip back into her mouth.

I sighed, and watched her. "Baby, I want you... I've always wanted you. Maybe not in the way I want you now, but I always... missed you." I squeezed my arms around her waist and buried my head under her chin. "You're my best friend Bella. You're my heartbeat."

She kissed the top of my head, and scratched my scalp softly. "How was it for you? I mean, I don't remember a time where I didn't have at least a little attraction to you. When did it change for you?"

I sighed and thought about it. "I guess it was the first time I watched you sleep. You looked so peaceful and calm, but at the same time, you were... my Bella. The Bella that I knew, and not the one that fought with me on a daily basis. I guess... I guess I thought you were kind of... beautiful."

A slow smile crept across her lips as she said. "I love you. Even despite all the shit... I'm glad we're here now. I'd go through a hundred years of Stanley hanging all over you... just to be here now."

I groaned and kissed the hollow of her neck. "I love you, too. But seriously, what the fuck is Stanley's deal?"

She shrugged, running her hands through my hair. "I dunno. She's just a little crazy and a whole lotta slutty. Though if she was lying about fucking you, I wonder if she hasn't lied about all the others and is still a virgin herself."

"Who cares? But at least I get you, right? You'll defend my junk?"

"To the death. I mean what else would I grind into?" She ground her hips into me, smirking.

"Baby, please... just hold me, okay? When did you turn into such a hornball?"

"Fine, fine. But it's getting really annoying getting shot down all the time. Maybe I should go back to being a fucking _shrew_."

"Baby... c'mon. Don't be like that." Fuck, when did I turn into such a chick? "Baby, why do we have to fuck all the time?"

She laughed angrily as she slid back into the passenger seat. "I'm sorry Edward, I didn't realize that it was such an _obligation _to touch me." She said with a sigh. "I'm going to go inside. If I see your mom I'll tell her that I wasn't feeling well. Don't worry about driving me back to school."

She went to open the car door, but I was quicker and fed up with this shit. I pulled her back, which in turn shut the door. She turned to look at me, stunned. "Listen to me, Isabella: I love you and I want to be with you, but we can not fuck like ducks every other god damn minute. I don't care that I sound like a pussy right now because sometimes, I just want you to be with me... just fucking be with me. Let me hold you and kiss you and love you with all of me-- not just my cock."

She pulled out of my grasp quickly, "Yeah Edward, and I do. Every fucking moment I'm holding your hand or curling up to you _just _to sleep, I _am_. And maybe I want you to be more assertive, maybe make me feel like you _do _want to do more than hold my hand. I've _held hands_ Edward, with lots of guys. You're the only one I want inside me; you're the only one I want get to _that _point with. And I'm sorry if you fucking opened a pandora's box of sexual frustration by fucking me in the first place. It's obvious you wish you could take it back now to have the non-fucking Bella back, but don't worry I'll stop pressuring you to have sex with your girlfriend; I swear. " She sighed and scrambled out of the car.

She didn't fucking make sense. Not even a little. I got out of the car after her and sat on the hood, watching her retreat. "So that's what you're gonna do? You're just gonna walk away?"

"Don't be so fucking patronizing Edward. I'm just trying to give you what you want. I would like you to touch me, and you would rather I didn't so I'm going over there (points towards the house) "so that I a, as you so sweetly put it, 'hornball' don't offend you."

"Alright stop right there and actually listen to the words coming out of my mouth. I want you, Bella, of course I want you, but I want all of you. Every last bit and piece, but you're telling me that the only way I can have you is if I fuck you from here to kingdom come." I leaned back on the hood, letting my palms rest on the cold metal. "Maybe I don't want just that, maybe I want my best friend, too. I'm not a dick for hire, Bella, and I won't ever be. Not even for you."

"Oh my _god _Edward. Trust me, your shit isn't _that _great to be worth getting paid for, for it. I love you and even the insinuation that you don't have all of me is insulting! You have it; you have me. Every fucking part of me that I have to give, you have. It's yours" She held her arms out wide and continued to stare at me.i can "This, _this _is me. I'm a shitload of things Edward, and if one of the parts of me that is most prominent right now is my desire to fuck you, then I'm _sorry_. But that's just how it is for me right now. And I'm here, I'm still your best friend and I'll still be here to wipe the fucking hair from your forehead when you sleep, and give you shit because of your crappy musical choices and elitist taste is cars. I'm still that Bella, just right now my mind is so wrapped up in the honeymoon phase of _us_ that all I want is you. As much of you and as often as I can get it. And I'm sorry if that makes you feel cheap, but it's a fucked up thing to say that I'm not giving all of myself to you simply because you turn me on."

I sighed and leaned forward, resting my forearms on my knees and motioning for her to come to me. "C'mere"

She sighed and walked over to me slowly, pulling her lip in between her teeth again. "Yea?"

"Just because I don't throw you down every chance I get doesn't mean that I don't want you. It means I respect you enough to want the rest of you, too. Trust me, love, you will be properly and throughly fucked everyday for the rest of your life, I promise. I want you near me and around me all the time, but that doesn't mean I have to be in you to enjoy it. Yeah, I want all of you all the time so that when I do fuck you, I'm fucking the girl I love, and not just a chick who's hormones are in overdrive. I eat, sleep, breath, and dream of you, Bella. No one else. Only you. I don't fault you for wanting me, but baby sometimes... sometimes that's not what I need."

"I didn't realize I was turning into just a a chick who's hormones are in overdrive. I _thought_ that I was someone you knew. I didn't realize I couldn't be both someone you knew and loved as well as someone who wanted to jump you more than once a day. Sorry I'm kinda new to this whole wanting to fuck someone you're dating thing. Was this something _Tanya_ taught you?"

"Do you really skip over the parts where I tell you I love you and respect you, or did you not hear them?" I laughed sadly as she pursed her lips at me. "Listen, I'm not saying you can't want to fuck me every moment of everyday and be my girl at the same time. But, babe, when I say no you have to respect that. But... I can see why you wouldn't want to; since... how did you put it? My shit wasn't that great?"

"I meant you wouldn't do that great as a giggalo here since half the women in the town already count you as a notch on their belt, regardless of if you've ever touched them. But can you like put the last part of what you said in print or something? Maybe front page of the school paper? ' NOTORIOUS COCK TEASE BELLA SWAN PEER PRESSURES ALLEGED PLAYBOY BOYFRIEND TO SCREW HER SENSELESS AND HE REFUSES!' And I thought I was respecting it. I'm just sorry if I get a little irritated that you say _no _more than _yes._"

"That's not true. Bella, you act like I never fucking touch you. Baby, we just lost it two fucking days ago; relax. Stop getting so angry when I do say no. If anything, that only turns me off." It was the truth Half the time I only said no because it was inconvenient.

"I'm sorry my behavior is such a _turn off_ then. I didn't realize I was so repulsive to you that it actually made you soft when I ask if you will fuck me." she bit her lip, fighting back tears. "Maybe you should find someone you're more attracted to." She turned around and started walking away. Well, we couldn't have that now, could we? I hopped off the hood and spun her around so that she was facing me.

"Listen, I hate it when you ride my ass to fuck you. _THAT_ is what I don't like. I don't remember ever saying that you were repulsive, and I definitely didn't say that I wasn't attracted to you. I love you, and I want you, but Bella... just stop being so... edgy. What are you afraid of? That I'm gonna get from someone else? That I'll leave you if you don't put out? What? Tell me, because none of it is true. I'm here and I'm with you, always." I held my breath, waiting for her to respond.

"No, but _now_ I do. Thanks Edward. It had nothing to do with that. It had do to with me loving how you feel. It's like... don't you remember in grade school when you got really into a new hobby? It was great and amazing and it's all you thought about and wanted to do for like... the first couple of weeks and then you slowly evened out and stuck with it but the newness of it had faded. Edward, being with you... feeling you inside me is fucking new. And I love it and right now, it's what _I _need. And it'll fade but if you can't handle that, if you don't want to deal with that until it evens out and the excitement of it being so new has faded, then tell me now and I'll completely shut up and I won't ever ask or beg you to fuck me or let me get down on my knees for you. I won't, because if that's what you need I'll do it. But you can't expect me to just make that feeling disappear just because you feel like it cheapens you. It makes me feel dirty that you think it does. Because like you said, we just had sex 2 days ago... it's not like our entire relationship is based on that."

I released her and backed away, "Bella, do what you want."

She chewed on her lip again. "Well it's obvious what _you _want." she said, regarding my retreat. "And that, is obviously no longer me."

I shook my head. "Whatever you say, love."

"I'll be gone by the time you get back. I won't bother you anymore." She turned quickly and attempted to stomp to the house.

"Isabella Marie Swan Cullen, you stop your fine ass right now and get back over here." I scooted back onto the hood of my car and waited for her.

She turned around quickly. "I'm not a Cullen." she said, but she didn't move.

"Not yet. But you will be my wife, and I figured you should get used to it. Might as well start early, right? Now, come over here." I thought for a second. "Please."

She huffed and puffed but finally made her way over to me, not saying a word. I pulled her into my arms and looked down at her. "I love you, and trust me, I want you." To emphasize my point I pushed her hips into mine so that she could feel my almost hard on pushing into her. "Baby, even when you're mad at me, you make me hard. But just relax, okay? You will be throughly and properly fucked. Every god damn day, Mrs. Cullen. Understand?"

She sighed and looped her arms around my neck. "Two things," she whispered. "One, I expect to be as you said, 'properly fucked' more than once a day and Two, who said I would say yes to your proposal?"

I shrugged and kissed her cheek. "Call it a hunch."

"And the first?" She pulled away and looked at me.

"Baby, if you lighten up and let it happen, I promise you'll be properly fucked at least three time a day. I love you, Mrs. Cullen, and if that's what you want, that's what you'll have."

She sighed, and rested her forehead to mine. "And I promise that I'll lighten up and trying to keep my libido in check. I love you Mr. Cullen." she said, kissing me softly.

I squeezed here tighter and kissed the spot just under her ear. "You will be my wife."

"Only if I get to pick the music at the wedding."

"I don't care. As long as you're mine at the end of it, you can have whatever you want." I pressed another kiss to her forehead and rubbed gentle circles on her hip with my fingertips.

"I've always been yours Edward."

"Don't walk away from me again."

"Don't give me a reason to."

"Love me."

"I don't know how to do anything else."

"Good," I sighed, kissing the tip of her nose. "You have my heart, Bella. Keep it safe."

**BPOV**

We went into the house, running to Esme and giving her the story that Edward dropped me off, worried that I was coming down with something. "It's probably because of the extreme change in weather; you're body is just readjusting to the dreariness." She said soothingly. I nodded and Edward helped me up the stairs. We agreed to lay in my bed just in case Esme's came up to check on me; we did however, lock the door. After he'd taken off his shirt he joined me in bed and I quickly snuggled up to him, laying my head on his heart. This was the best place to be... ever. His arms wrapped around my waist pulling me tighter against him as I felt him press a kiss into my hair.

"I think we should do date night, now that we're back. Like a stupid cheesy movie of the week date night." I said drawing designs on his chest with my index finger.

"Sure."

I sighed and nuzzled further into his chest, listening to his heartbeat and waiting for him to speak.

"I love you." He whispered, giving my waist a squeeze.

"I love you too."

"Do you want me to take you for your cast?"

"I dunno... your mom seemed pretty excited to take me." I laughed softly into his skin. "It may have something to do with your dad being at the hospital for a shift."

His lips pressed against my forehead affectionately. "Okay. Whatever you want, love."

I nodded against him. "Yeah, it'd be good for her and I to go, I think. Bonding or something..." I paused placing an innocent kiss on his chest. "We're telling your parents tonight right?"

"Mhm. I think we should tell them you're pregnant and I decided to step up or something. Freak 'em out a bit. Then maybe we can move in together." He said wiggling his eyebrows.

I laughed against him. "Sounds like a plan. Can we like tell them that we found out you only have to be 16 to legally get married in Arkansas and that we're moving to Little Rock, too?"

"Definitely. Can we name the kid Bobby Sue or something?"

"Only if that's what with name them regardless of it's a boy or a girl."

He shrugged. "I don't care."

I yawned and kissed his chest again, closing my eyes and letting sleep take over.

"Baby," Edward whispered kissing the top of my head, "Baby, it's 1:15. You gotta get up."

I stirred against him and felt him shift under me, standing up. He waited for me in the hall as I got myself together and grabbed a pair of shoes to wear after. I couldn't _wait _to see what my calf would look like after 7 weeks of not shaving. Edward helped me down stairs where his mother was standing at the landing.

"Edward!" She exclaimed as she saw us making our way slowly down the steps. "I thought you had gone back to school?"

He shook his head. "Nah. It was a crap day, I figured I'd stay home with Bella in case something came up and you couldn't take her." She raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Mhm. Right, nothing to do with ditching class?"

"Nope, not a thing." He said reciprocating the Cheshire grin.

"Well, as you can see, I _am _here so you can go back to school for the remaining few hours."

"Mom by the time I get there, there will only be an hour and a half left."

"Right, that's what... 2 classes then? You better get going." She replied, looking at him pointedly.

He huffed. "Fine. I'll see you guys later." He said stomping out of the front door like a petulant child.

She turned to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. "He can be a bit of a handful, but I'm glad you two have finally warmed up to each other."

I nodded leaning into her. "Yeah, well he smells good, so that helped." I clamped my lips together as soon as I realized what I said. She just laughed against me, but I didn't dare to look at her expression. Shit, fuck. I better not let it slip out this afternoon. It scared me how easily it probably could.

The trip to the doctor's was uneventful, aside from gasping at my calf that looked like a woolly mammoth. It was really stiff and walking on it was awkward, but after taking a few laps around the hospital wing it was like a brand new leg. Fortunately the entire ride to and from the hospital the conversation between Esme and I remained light and far from Edward. She asked about colleges; which ones I wanted to apply to what I wanted to study and asked for my suggestion to winter vacation destinations. I had no idea, the furthest my family ever went was New York, once... and only because my mom set up the whole thing before even telling Charlie. Esme mentioned a private island off the coast of South Africa; apparently Carlisle had a colleague who owned the thing and wasn't going to be visiting this winter. I shrugged and said it sounded great. Who could turn down sun for Christmas?

We pulled into the driveway behind a familiar red corvette. Rosalie was leaning against her rear bumper arms crossed and a scowl on her face, which immediately vanished at the sight of Esme. "Mrs. Cullen!" She exclaimed cheerfully as she embraced her once we had gotten out of the car.

"Rosalie dear, so good to see you. How are you? I feel like I see your brother more than you around here."

She giggled her sweet and innocent laugh and I almost puked. I loved Rose but she was such a parent pleaser it was kind of disgusting. "It's probably because Jas and Edward are so close. Kind of like me and Bells." She said peering over at me. "So I'm sure you'll be seeing _a lot _more of me now that Bella's here."

"I sure hope so." Esme said with a smile as I moved closer to them.

"I was hoping Mrs. Cullen, that it would be okay if Bella spent the night tonight? I barely saw her today at school and it's been over a week since we hung out. I'll give her a ride to school tomorrow and everything."

Esme twisted her face in thought and shrugged. "Oh why not!" She turned to look at me and smiled. "Sweetie, did you want to get your things?"

"Oh, I already grabbed her books from school and she can just borrow something of mine. We really need to get going, Alice is meeting us there with Jasper."

What the fuckity fuck was going on? An ambush? Really? Was this an episode of A&E's Intervention: I'm Addicted to Edward Cullen?

I sighed and played it off; the sooner I got this over with, the sooner I could be back in his arms and bed. "Sounds good." I said cheerfully, walking over to the passenger side door of Rose's car. "Thanks Mrs. Cullen. I'll see you tomorrow, yea?"

She nodded, walking up and past me towards the door. "Alright dear. You two have fun tonight, don't get into too much trouble!" She shouted as she reached the front door and turned to wave. We both waved back and slid into the car.

"What the fuck are you doing with that asshole?" She asked as she slammed on the klutch and gas, peeling out of the Cullen's like a bat out of hell.

"Excuse me?"

Her eyes shot towards mine and she sneered. "You know what I'm talking about."

I knew who she was referring to but I wasn't going to give her the fucking satisfaction. "Rose, Mike and I broke up before the break."

She turned to me and scoffed. "Don't you dare play innocent with me, Bella! I wrote the fucking book! Now what the fuck happened? Were you really that desperate to lose it?"

I turned to face her. It felt good to be able to bend my fucking leg again. "No, I waited til I was in love."

She chuckled under her breath, "You honestly think that fuck me harder Edward Cullen is in love with you? Please, spare me."

"I do. I know he is. And what the fuck would you know? The only way you converse with him is in expletives and insults!" She was inching towards an area in which I was newly confident and I knew if I didn't watch out, she'd suck me in and I'd be back at square one, pre-hawaii.

"I know Edward a lot better than you think. I can see through his shit because I'm immune to his bullshit. You've just been playing into it all the fucking time! And last I checked, you hated him, too!"

"Yeah well shit changes. Your boyfriend of the year kept something from both of us and once it was out in the open we realized that there was no _point _to hating each other. I'm sorry if it's an inconvenience that I'm now the girlfriend of your nemesis." I sneered as she took a sharp left and pulled into her driveway. I didn't see either Alice or Jasper's cars. "Where is everyone?"

"Please, like I'd let anyone else come over." She flipped her hair and checked her lipstick in the rearview mirror. "Look, you aren't really his girlfriend, Bella. He wheels and deals women left and right. Do you really want to be his flavor of the month?"

I got out of the car quickly, once again thankful that the boot wasn't fucking slowing me down. "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about Rose. Edward and I are _together _okay? I'm sorry if that doesn't work for you."

"It doesn't matter if it works for _me_ Bella, it doesn't work for you! You aren't exactly his type, you know. You two don't really... go together. Don't tell me for one second that you actually thought you were meant to be together!" She laughed maniacally, like a female cartoon villian. "I bet he told you he loved you and respected you. I bet he kisses you every night and didn't try to fuck you to make it 'special'. Well, guess what, honey, he's getting it from someone else. That's just the way he is. He doesn't care about your feelings or your fucking virginity! Trust me, by Wednesday, he'll be gone!"

My breath hitched in my throat. She was spot fucking on. I bit my lip and gulped back the tears that were surfacing as we walked into her estate of a fucking house. "So you don't... you don't think I'm good enough for him?"

She placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it briefly. "I don't think that he's good enough for you. Bella, he's in another league; one that you can't compete in. And that's a good thing."

I shrugged away from her and continued my ascent into her room, flopping down onto her bed, my arms resting on my knees. My voice dropped to barely above a whisper as I sniffled, trying to keep the tears at bay. "He said he wanted to marry me. He kept calling me Mrs. Cullen..."

She sank down next to me, leaning back on her palms. "How many Mrs. Cullen's do you think are out there right now? Tons."

I shook my head. No... just _no_. "No, Rose. He meant it; I know he did. He loves me. He just... he does." I choked back the tears as my resolve returned. Of course he loved me. He wouldn't have put up with my shit in Hawaii or my grieving and stupid mood swings if he didn't... right?

She sat up, sighing and wrapped me up in a hug. "I know it's easy to think so, but that's why he's so good at what he does. He's a fantastic liar, Bella; he has to be."

Of course he was. He had lied to his own mother just hours ago. Looked her dead in the eye and lied. The tear dam I had worked so hard to keep in effect fell, and I buried my face in her shoulder crying. Everything, everything was all a lie.

**EPOV**

When I got home from school, there was no Bella. My mother's car was out front, but no sign of her anywhere. She wasn't in her room, or mine, nor watching TV or eating. She was no where to be found. I trudged back up to my room and flopped down on my bed. At least Emmett was bringing Smith home today. I missed my boy. But I missed his mama, too. I wanted her here, where she belonged, and not where ever the fuck she was.

I still couldn't wrap my brain around what she had said to me this afternoon. All I was asking is that she not treat me the way all of the other girls did. I wanted my girl to look at me differently, and think differently of me, and for the most part Bella did. Bella was my everything; my whole fucking world,and without her, I'd be reduced to nothing. There wouldn't be a reason of being because she was it. I loved her and when she left I'd still be with her. My body would serve no purpose.

After wallowing for what felt like hours (which it was) I heard the doorbell ring. Emmett. Thank fucking God. I raced down stairs and threw the door open and my boy jumped into my arms, plastering my face with kisses. "Look at you, look at you, Smith! You got so big! Did you miss daddy? Did you? I missed you. Yes, I did--"

"Geeze, Cullen, would you knock it the fuck off? I know you're with Bella now, but fuck. I can feel my balls trying to get back into my body." Emmett said, stepping in and closing the door behind him.

I rolled my eyes and squeezed my boy a little closer to my chest. "So how was he? Any problems?"

Em laughed, rubbing the back of his hand over his jaw. "He was fine. Good little bugger. But not as rambunctious as he'd being now."

I shrugged and buried my face in his fur. "He probably just missed us. I wish Bella were here. He probably missed her the most."

"Oh, she's with Rose."

My heart stopped in my chest. "Rose?"

Em rolled his eyes, "Yeah, Rose. My girlfriend? She's having a slumber party or whatever the fuck."

"But... but..."

His eyes went wide as he took in my appearance. "Look, I'm sure it's fine. Rose can be bad, but--"

"NO EM!" I yelled, dropping Smith to the ground. "She _hates_ me, don't you see? She's gonna... and then Bella's gonna... fucking shit!"

"Whoa, whoa, take it easy Edward!" Em said, patting my shoulder. "Listen, if you're into her, it'll be fine."

I groaned and sat on the stairs, running my hands over my face. "I love her, Em, but she's so damn hesitant. She... God, if Rose... Em, I can't lose her."

He sighed and sat next to me, "Edward, if you love her and she loves you, it'll be fine. I know Bella can be... easily swayed when it comes to Rose, but you can fix it. Unless you won't want to."

I shook my head, "No.. no. I want to because I want her. But I just hope that if something does happen, it won't be too late, you know."

"I know."

"Wait, maybe I should just go and get her now--"

"Edward, stop. Just leave her be. If she needs you, she'll call. Simple as that."

I sighed and nodded. There was nothing else for me to do except let it happen.

Whatever the fuck 'it' might be.

**BPOV**

I don't remember when exactly, I fell asleep. All I remember is balling into Rose's shoulder, then blanket then finally her pillow. And I remember her brushing the hair behind my ear and telling me it was going to be okay. That I didn't really love him and that I had just convinced myself of it to make it okay to sleep with him. But I did, I fucking _loved _Edward, no matter how stupid it was for me to do so. And it in fact, was probably the dumbest thing I could have possibly done. It all made sense; why he didn't want to have sex with me - he was probably saving his cum for his whore harem, for girls who knew what they were doing and were experienced. I was a fucking idiot for believing any of it.

"Bella honey, wake up we have to get ready for school." Rose's voice said soothingly as she nudged my shoulder. I rolled over onto my back, trying to open my eyes. They stung and were sore from all the tears. "I can't face him Rose." I said as my eyes focused on her long blond hair.

"It's okay Bella. We'll face him together; I won't let you take this on yourself." She said pulling me up. The morning passed through in a haze. I stood in the shower until it ran cold and Rose had to wrap me in a towel. I was more of a gimp when I didn't have a heart compared to just having a busted leg apparently. I sat on her bed, shivering as she flipped through her walk in closet. She pulled out tight, low-cut shirt after slutty shirt. "Hoody Rose, please," was all I said.

She finally tossed a black and purple UW sweatshirt onto the bed. "I only really wear that around the house when I'm sick, but it's clean I promise." I shrugged and put it on, not bothering with a bra. Fuck a bra, my boobs could sag; I was in mourning.

I pulled my hair in a ponytail and threw the hoody over my head as I slid on the jeans I wore from yesterday. We walked to her car and slid inside without speaking. Her hand reached for me and her fingers laced with mine. "It'll be okay Bella. I'm here to help you through this. It's the least I can do for not seeing this coming and being able to stop it before everything got this far." I didn't say anything and just nodded, leaning back against the seat and staring out the window. She let go of my hand and shoved the clutch in as she reversed out of her driveway and sped down the streets of Forks, towards school.

My life without Edward would begin today. How ironic, considering my life didn't mean shit without him in it.

She sped into the parking lot and my stomach did somersaults as I saw Edward leaning against his Volvo, his eyes following our car. My breathing picked up and I turned to Rose. "I can't do this, I can't..." I started, bile rising in my throat. I was going to vomit. I was going to puke in public and then get emotionally humiliated when Edward admitted everything. God how I love Tuesdays.

She unbuckled as she peered out the mirror. "He's coming. Do you want me to handle this?"

I nodded. I didn't have the balls to confront him. He would just make up some other lie and I'd fall for it. No, it was better if Rose dealt the initial damage. She patted my arm. "Okay, I'll handle him." She wrapped me up in a hug and I started crying all over again. She backed up slowly and opened the door.

"Edward you fucking cock sucking asshole. I thought you went as low as you could, but evidently that was just a warm up." I heard her snap as she shut the door behind her.

"What the fuck did you do, Rosalie?" He asked, pointing to the car, where I had slunk down further in the seat.

"I told her the fucking truth! She deserved to know that all of your lines were just that, fucking LINES Edward! How could you DO that to her? She's everyone friend! Was she just the final notch in your belt? Banging the Forks virgin!?"

I saw him step closer to the car and I scooted back against the passenger door; yea a lot further that made me. "Don't you _dare_ talk about Bella like that Rose, you have no fucking clue what you're talking about! I love that girl, and how dare you try and marginalize that! Where the fuck do you come off?"

"You LOVE her?!" I heard Rose scoff. "What, just like you _loved _Lauren, and Jessica, and oh.. TANYA! She told everyone what happened Edward! About how you fucked her two days before you left for your little vacay telling her you loved her, and the dumped her the night before you left. What the FUCK is your deal Cullen? Now I'm all for you pulling that shit with that skank Tanya, but to BELLA?! Bella, of all fucking people!"

I felt the bile rising. He had fucked Tanya. He had fucked her when we were still messing around. I suddenly felt very dirty and very... in need of a round of STD tests.

"Listen, Hale," he said, lowering his voice, "The only person I've every been with is sitting in your car, crying her eyes out because you decided to pump her with lies. Not me." He said taking a step back and glaring at her. "My deal is her! That's it! Rosalie, her happiness is paramount to me, and I swear to God she was happy when she left yesterday and now she's in pieces. I'm going to rip you to shreds, you mindless twat. And by the way, I dumped Tanya to be with Bella. Just to be with her, no other reason, and definitely not because I fucked her. I don't know where you get your information, Rose, so why don't you just shut the fuck up until you actually have something worth while to say." His body shifted, moving closer to the car.

I saw him take another step and reach for the driver's side door handle. Reflexively I opened my door and jumped out. I looked up to see Edward staring right at me.

"Bella, please..." he begged, his eyes pleading with me to believe him.

I took a step back, shaking my head; I didn't trust myself to speak. I turned around and hung my head down, staring at the wet cement in front of me as I walked towards the doors. I heard Rose yelling at him some more but it was all white noise. All I heard in my head was her voice shouting, "What just like you _loved _Lauren, and Jessica and Tanya!?" He had loved me like he had loved them. Which meant he had never loved me at all.

**EPOV**

I watched Bella walk away from me and I turned back to Rosalie before I went after her. "I hope you're happy now. I really fucking hope you're happy, because you've just robbed her of hers. You call yourself her friend?" I shook my head and laughed sadly, walking toward school. "You're a class act, Rose. A class act!"

I didn't wait for her to respond, instead I just raced down the halls in search of my girl. I was not about to let her get away; not again.

"Bella!" I called when she came into view. She stopped, bracing herself against the bay of lockers but she didn't say anything. I got over to her quickly and pulled her into my arms tucking her head under my chin.

"I love you, Baby, I love you. Don't listen to her... Baby, please don't listen to her. It's not true, none of it. I love _you_, Bella, only you. No one else, remember? Not ever, Baby."

She sobbed into my chest a little, then pulled away, looking completely broken. "She quoted you Edward. She receited back to me everything you said about love and trust and respect. It was like she had a copy of your playboy screenplay in her hands. Rosalie had no reason to lie to me about any of it; but you, you had _every _reason to. I just hope it was worth it." She said sadly as she pulled away, attempting to walk away. I grabbed her wrist and spun her back around to face me.

"No. I won't let you go, Bella... I can't. We've been through too much to throw it in now. Please, Bella, please. She doesn't know me, and you do. Baby, I've never lied to you, not ever. Not even a little bit. I was always honest with you. I love you, Bella, I do." I threw my arm across my chest to try and stop it from aching. It didn't help. "Bella, I couldn't even sleep without you last night. I need you with me, and holding me and loving me. Please, please. Baby, you have to believe me. Cause... cause if you don't..." I couldn't even finish the sentence. It would have to be done, but it was too hard to think of a life without Bella.

Her voice was soft as she spoke. "If I don't, you'll just find someone else by lunch, if you haven't already."

I tugged her back toward me a little bit more. "How could you possibly say that? Huh? Bella, I love you. There isn't anyone else because the only girl I see if you! Remember under the stair well when I thought you fucked Newton? Why the fuck would I be upset about that if you were just another piece of ass, hm? And... and, the waiter in Hawaii? If I was just going to break up with you, why was I so pissed about him?" I sighed, pulling her a little more gently toward me. "I love you... I love you... please, don't do this."

"Easy Edward," Her red rimmed eyes shot up to mine as she spoke. "you thought they got to hit it first." She sighed. "And stop saying you love me. It fucking hurts to hear you say it, and we both know it's not true. I know Edward, I know it wasn't true." Her fingers brushed back the tears as she spoke, "Everything just makes more sense now. Why you didn't want to fuck me after that first night, without me pressuring you.. why you got so mad about Mike and the waiter. You just wanted another virgin to add to the list. Well I hope it was worth beating up the waitstaff in hawaii. I just... I can't believe I didn't see this; I can't believe I was so ready to believe you didn't hate me, that you might have actually loved--"

"No. Wrong, Isabella. I love you. Right here, right now, and forever. Last I checked, I lost my v card to you three fucking days ago. Last I checked, you were in my arms yesterday and you loved me too. Bella, this isn't a game for me. I want you, but you have to want me, too. Remember that whole part about 'fuck the people who don't want us to be together? Rose is one of those. Baby, fuck her if she doesn't want us to be together. I love you, so please... stay with me."

"Until when? Until you decide that you'd rather be with someone more on your level? Rose was right... we're not on the same level. You're about 10 levels up from where I am, what I deserve. So what's it matter if I love you? Love won't get me anywhere when you leave me for someone else. And I sincerely believe that if Rose thought you were being honest, she'd stay the fuck out of it, because I spent hours yesterday defending you, Edward! Hours! I defended my love, but every truth I gave about us, she gave 5 examples of girls you've used that line on. And I can't compete with that Edward. I can't put our love against you and every other girls' love... it just... I can't."

I dropped her arm and just stared at her. "Bella... you... you're supposed to know me, and trust me and love me before anyone else." My voice was oddly monotone, but I kept going as things began to click for me. "But if you can't do that, maybe you're right. I wouldn't ever leave you, Bella, and if you trusted yourself and your instincts, you'd know that." I sighed heavily and ran my hand across her cheek. "I love you, Bella, and for me forever is until the day I die."

I turned around and walked away from her. It was done. And so was I.

**BPOV**

And there was another lie. He said he wouldn't ever leave me, and there he was turning around and walking away. I turned in the opposite direction; I didn't want to face him, I couldn't. Not in bio or lunch or any hallway we may pass each other in. I was dead inside. I had promised my parents that I would live for them, but I hadn't counted on Edward taking my heart. How could I promise to live when I wasn't in control of its beating? I pushed through the main doors and looked around. Fuck, my truck was still at the Cullen's. It was probably better for me to walk anyway; I needed the fresh air to clear my head.

After just a 45 minute walk, I was leaving the town of forks and meandering in to the next town over. I was almost at my destination. I felt my phone buzz and I pulled it out to see Alice's number flash. I shoved it back in my pocket, no I couldn't deal with any of them today. I had no idea who to believe, who to trust or really, what to say to anyone so it was best that I didn't say a damn thing at all.

Edward made me hurt. Every time I thought of him my head swam with various accusations and confessions. And every time I tried to stop thinking about him my heart hurt because he was all I _wanted _to think about. There was no other way around it. Whatever, or however Edward really felt about me didn't really matter. I loved him, all I had to decide was if it was safe for me to continue to do so.

My phone vibrated again and I pulled it out - Alice, again. Ugh. I flipped it open and shut it off. I needed the quiet right now. My legs carried me up the hill that Edward had helped me up less than two months ago; it felt like it had been two decades. I sat, folding my legs when I reached my destination. My hands moved into the pocket of Rose's hoodie and clasped together.

"Okay mom and dad. What the hell do I do now?"

**EPOV**

I was collapsed on my bed, when I felt my phone start to vibrate against me. I pulled it out quickly and flipped it open.

"Baby, I love you."

I heard a tiny laugh in my ear, and my posture slumped. "Well, thanks, Edward, but I hope you meant that for Bella."

"Alice, what's wrong?"

"Uh, well, since you answered the phone the way you did, I'm guessing Bella's not with you?"

I sat up immediately, getting out of bed and grabbing my keys. "What happened?" She didn't say anything, so I got angry. "Alice..."

"Well, we can't find her. She's not at school, and if she's not with you--"

"Any idea where she'd go? Did you see her at all?"

She sighed into the phone. "No, Edward. I'm sorry."

I let out a frustrated groan, "I'll get her, Alice."

I flipped my phone shut and looked down at Smith who was wagging his tail at me. "C'mon, Smith. Let's go get your mama."

He barked once and followed me out to the volvo, which I soon had speeding through town, trying to figure out where the hell she was. I had already driven by her house, the library and the bookstore when Smith decided to curl up in my lap as I drove. My fingers threaded in his fur and I tried to think of where my girl could be. "Don't worry, Smith, we'll find your Mama. It's gonna be Okay. Mama's--"

That was when it hit me.

Mama.

She would go to her parents.

Mama.

She was at the cemetery. She had to be. I veered a sharp right and took off toward the cemetery, praying that she was there. She had to be, she just fucking had to. I pulled up to where her parent's graves were and sprinted up the hill. That was when I saw her, sitting indian style in front of them. Fuck, did I miss her. I took another step to her, and I could feel the heat coming off of her back.

"Bella?" I said softly, not daring to move.

Her breath hitched and there was a moment of silence before she spoke. "Edward?"

"Yeah, Baby, it's me."

"How am I supposed to know?"

I plopped down next to her, but I couldn't look. I couldn't bear to see that she was done with me. "Know what?"

She let out an exaggerated breath. "Know when to believe you versus everyone else?"

I picked a blade of grass and twirled it between my fingers. "You should always believe me... _before_ anyone else."

"Oh..."

"Oh, what?"

"I don't think I'm good at loving people Edward. I was terrible at loving my parents and now... with you..." She sniffled, wiping her nose on her sleeve.

"Baby, don't say that. They loved you; I love you. Nothing will ever change that."

"I'm not saying that. I'm saying that _I'm _fucked up. I don't know how to love right. I was terrible to my parents Edward. I mean, you know. And with you... I just keep fucking shit up."

"Bella, stop. I'm here, aren't I? You couldn't have fucked up that badly if I'm still here. And why would you think you were terrible to them? Because you lied occasionally? Drank underage? Bella, that's what teenagers do. Your parents loved you more than anything. Nothing would ever change that." I repeated, hoping it would finally sink in.

Her voice dipped and she kept her eyes trained on the grass in front of her. "Did you mean it when you said you'd love me forever?"

"Of course." I felt her hand come up and rest, palm up on my thigh, but she didn't say a word. I took her hand in mine and kissed the back of it. "Trust me, Bella, Okay? Forget Rose and all of them. Trust _me."_

She pulled her hand away and crawled into my lap, resting her head on my shoulder. "I trust you and I love you, Edward. I do, forever."

I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her forehead. "All the time, Bella. It can't matter what anyone else says, okay? I can't do this every time someone tells you something. I couldn't... I couldn't take you walking away." I couldn't. That shit broke me.

She sighed, and nodded against my shoulder. "I know. I guess I was just expecting those kinds of attacks from Jess and Tanya but not.. you know, our _friends_." She took one of my palms in her hand and began tracing patterns in it.

"Hey, I brought someone to see you." I said, completely changing the subject.

She lifted her head and looked at me. "You did?"

I nodded. "Mhm. Down at the car. Go take a look."

Her eyes widened and she jumped from my lap and sprinted down to the car. I laughed after her, and stood up slowly, brushing the grass off of my jeans. I looked down at her parent's graves and sighed. She must hurt so bad when she thinks about them.

"Chief Swan, Mrs. Swan. I just wanted to let you know, that I love your daughter very much. She... she means everything to me, and I plan on loving her for the rest of my life. She's just... she's my whole heart, and I plan on making her happy until the day I die. Thank you so much for giving her to me. I promise I'll take good care of her."

I gave one last nod and turned back down the hill to get my girl and my boy. That was where I belonged. That was where my heart was.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: **

**HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I missed you! :D **

**OMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD we're baaaaaaaaaaaack!  
**

**Dude, I missed this. Like hardcore. And now, since I have no TE, mylifeward is my numero uno assward :P **

**wow... i didn't catch like, any of that. but um... me too?  
**

**Ugh, see? That's the number one sign we've been spending not enough time together... you don't follow me anymore. LAME :P **

**Right, cuz we never talk. I forgot. I missed you ladyface! So like... the latest and greatest is this chap right?  
**

**Duh. I like kinda love this. And you know what? We should talk MORE when we don't write, cause like you're the best :) **

**Uh, no. I can't be... cuz you are. Duh.  
**

**No, not so much. But you know what? Either way, this chap is awesome. **

**Duh, I even bet the talented SMeyer who owns these characters would have loved to claim this chap as her own.  
**

**Yeah, I think she might be proud... ready to roll?**

**Yep yep. Can we like, give a shout out to the usual peeps? Like LMW, Zephyr and Rebecca's Mom... cuz all three are just like made of awesome.  
**

**Yup, duh... made of win they are.**

**K so like, review and maybe we'll post sooner next time? :P**

**

* * *

**

**EPOV**

Bella held my hand as we drove back home, our boy sleeping peacefully in her lap. She dragged her fingers through his fur slowly, smiling down at him. "He got big, didn't he?"

I nodded, "Yeah. He's like a whole new boy."

Bella hummed, "He's still _our_ boy, though."

I laughed, and pressed the back of her hand to my lips. "Yeah, he is Mrs. Cullen. Our only boy."

"Mrs. Cullen, huh?" She asked with a smirk.

I raised an eyebrow, "Mrs. Swan-Cullen?"

"No, I like being Mrs. Cullen more. Plus we've already got one of us hyphenated. Isn't that right Mr. Smith-Cullen?" She tousled his fur, and I swear he was smiling up at her.

I laughed, turning the corner onto our street. "I love you being my Mrs. Cullen. That's hot shit, Baby."

She smiled at me, and I froze when I saw Alice and Emmett's cars in my driveway. Bella stiffened beside me. "Um... is there something going on?"

My heart skipped a beat and I squeezed her hand. She'd leave; she'd run. I couldn't handle that. "I dunno." I pulled in and unbuckled my seat belt, turning to her. "Baby, please... I love you. You have to remember that I love you. Please, Baby? Please?" I was begging and I sounded like a pussy, but I didn't care. I needed her with me.

She took a deep breath and turned to me. "Edward, after Rosalie's assault I can handle anything." She squeezed my hand, giving me a small smile. "It's you and me, right?"

I cupped her cheek in my hand, watching her carefully. "Always. Don't leave me."

She leaned in and kissed me, "I can't. I love you too much."

I sighed against her lips, keeping my eyes closed. "Can we just stay in the car? I swear, I'll make you cum six times if you let us stay in the car." If we stayed they couldn't get us, and nothing would change. I was so afraid that everything would Change.

"We could, but wouldn't it turn you on more if I went up to all of them and told them that I loved you and if they didn't like it I'd punch each of them in the face?" She said, grinning at me.

I sighed, "Yeah."

Her lips hovered over mine as she spoke. "Plus, the sooner they leave, the sooner we can go up to your room and I can suck you dry."

I gulped and looked at her. "You will?"

She nodded and said in all seriousness,"Mhm. Tongue, hands, mouth, pussy... all of the above - whatever it takes."

"All of it," I mumbled. "I don't want to let you go ever again." I meant it. I'd home school us both if it meant I got to have her all the time.

"Variety, I like it." she said, laughing a little and smiling. "Come on, let's go tell them where they can shove their opinions." She laughed.

"I'm scared." I whispered.

She sighed, leaning her forehead to mine. "Baby, you built me back up. Let me fix this; let me prove that I'm not spineless, that I do love you and that I'm fucking proud to love you... okay?"

I nodded against her forehead, "Okay."

**BPOV**

I wasn't spineless. I never had been before, except when it came to Rosalie. She could be vicious which is why it was always better just to be on her good side; she knew how to pick out weaknesses and drag them out slowly. I wasn't spineless though, and I loved Edward. So as I got out of the car and grabbed Edward's hand for reassurance I knew what I had to do.

I had to show him that I meant what I said and what we did. My eyes flickered to Edward who looked like he had just been poked with a spear up the ass and completely unsure as to what was going to happen next. My Edward, _I _had done that to him. My face fell and I was taken off guard by the the body slamming into me.

"Bella, we--"

I took a step back, tightening my grip on Edward's hand and glaring at Alice then back over at Jasper and Emmett who were standing further back on the lawn.

"No, Alice! I don't want to hear it. I heard it from Rosalie and I almost lost Edward because I let her fucking bullshit get to me. So no, I don't want to hear how your opinions have changed and how we aren't good together. I don't want to hear anything about Edward's reputation or how I'm in a delicate place, or how Edward took advantage of me. Trust me I've heard it all from Rose and it's fucking _bullshit_. I love Edward and if none of you can accept that, then you can go fuck yourselves with rusty barbed wire, okay?!" I scolded, clenching my jaw and staring right into Alice's ice blue eyes.

She sighed and rolled her shoulders. "Bella... Bella, we just came to apologize. For Rose. For what she said." Her face relaxed as a smile formed across her lips. "I love you and Edward. If he makes you happy, you should be with him. No matter what his reputation was, or what state of mind you're in. If he makes you happy, Bella. That's what counts."

I looked at her warily, before back towards Jasper and Emmett who were slowly making their way over and nodding. "What? You're okay with us?" Honestly? Wasn't prepared at all for that one.

"Yeah, and I'm _really _sorry about Rose, Bells. She's hot but she can be a cunt sometimes, I won't lie." Emmett said as he shoved his hands in his pockets. I chuckled a little as my face softened and I looked over at Edward who looked completely shocked. "So you guys... you're really okay with it? Like you guys aren't playing nice guy to Rose's bad one are you?" I asked skeptically.

Alice shook her head quickly. "No. I promise, on Jasper's balls."

I laughed a little and turned to Edward, kissing his lips and sighing.

"AWWWW!!!" Emmett cooed and I felt my cheeks flush. "Love birds in action!" I laughed a little and looked up at Edward. He pulled me closer, moving his hand out of mine and wrapping around my waist. I He sighed against me and gave a gentle squeeze. This was _way _better than Rose's reaction.

"So are you guys staying or going?" I asked as I shoved my hand in Edward's back pocket.

"Going," Edward mumbled into my hair. "Tell them they're going."

Alice smiled her million kilowatt grin and laughed a little, stepping back against Jasper's chest. "Easy there, love birds. Now that you're official, we have to plan the customary 'welcome to the club' outing."

I looked up at Edward and back to Alice. "What?"

She rolled her eyes, huffing frustratedly as if I should know what the hell she was talking about. "Bella, the "Oh, Gee I've met my soul mate' club. Dinner Friday, the seven of us."

"Seven?"

Emmett raised his hand holding up two fingers "Seven."

My face fell. Of course Rose wouldn't go. Well fuck her then. "Em, I really appreciate that." I said sincerely, smiling over to him.

"Yeah, no prob. It's the least I can do after accidentally fucking shit up between you two from the get go. Who knows, you two may have been the first to hook up out of all of us if not for the misunderstandings." He said chuckling as he leaned against the fence that wrapped around the porch.

"Yeah, but it wouldn't have been as interesting. They probably bone all the time, and if it were the other way around they might already have a kid and like... a retirement plan."Jasper echoed, finally ending his silence.

I laughed and snuggled into Edward's side a little more. "Jasper you've really put some thought into this haven't you?"

He shrugged and glanced down. "A little."

I felt Edward chuckle against me and I raised my hand from his back pocket and slid it under his shirt, rubbing his lower back gently. "So Friday sounds good. But really, I'd like to get my boyfriend upstairs and have my way with him before his parents come home, if that's okay with the peanut gallery?"

Alice's eyes went wide and she backed up a little, almost stepping on Jasper's foot. "Oh... uh... well, right... um, right now? Uh, yeah... sounds good. Play hard kids! Well, I mean, not too hard. We don't want you to like, not get off-- shit, I meant, wait, I'm sure you're very hard," Edward groaned and without even looking at him I knew he was rolling his eyes. "Ah. I mean... well, it's just that--"

"Say goodnight, Alice."Jasper instructed as he put his hand on her lower back and guided her towards the car. Alice took a breath and waved towards us "Goodnight, Alice." I waved as Jasper climbed in the driver's seat of Alice's sports car and she slid inside still waving frantically at us.

"So, guys... Edward man, I'm really sorry about the wifey. She does it to protect her friends; I don't think it was as personal as she meant for it to be." Emmett said strolling by us towards his car slowly. "It was personal Emmett." I replied sadly. "I get why she did it, but she knew what she was doing. And to some level I appreciate the concern but she went way too fucking far."

"Yea, I know. She just loves you and well," he rubbed the back of his neck looking down at the ground before back up to us, "sorry bro but she kinda wishes you were dead."

"After today the feeling is mutual." Edward replied with a shrug. Emmett nodded and I could see he was being pulled in two directions. "It's okay Em, we still love you though. Even if your girlfriend is beyond bat shit mother fucking crazy." I added, pulling away from Edward and jogging over to Emmett. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, "You're girlfriend's insane but thanks to her I think Edward and I are stronger than ever." I whispered in his ear as I pulled away.

"Really?" He asked as he opened the door of his truck. I nodded. "Well, good then!" He said his cheerful grin reappearing. "See you two fuck bunnies tomorrow!" He shouted from his truck as it roared to life and he pulled out of the driveway. I waved and walked backwards up to Edward, sighing as my arms found their way around his neck. "I'm glad this went better than Rose finding out."

"Are you okay?" He asked as his head fell against my shoulder.

"You're here and our friends know. I'm fucking dandy." I answered, placing a kiss into his hair. "I'm so glad." He exhaled against my shoulder seemingly relieved. "You have no idea how happy I am right now." He continued squeezing my waist and pulling me closer to his body."You know what would make you even happier I think?"

"Nothing. Nothing could possibly make me happier than this."

"Not even me swallowing your cum?" I asked with a surprised tone. He puffed out a laugh against my skin. "Baby, that just makes it better. But nothing will ever make me feel better or mean more to me as this moment. You're mine, and that's always the best."

"Well then you're gonna be feelin' pretty good for awhile then. Because guess what? I'm not going anywhere." I said, smiling into his hair and kissing his temple.

"Don't ever leave me. I don't ever want to watch you walk away again." He lamented pressing his lips against my shoulder. "But... can I still have your mouth?"

"Can't Edward. I love you too much."

"I love you, too. But baby, your mouth..." I grinned and pulled away so I could look at him. "What about it?" He jutted his bottom lip out, pouting. "Suck." I laughed a little and cupped his jaw with one hand kissing his lips softly. "Come on Romeo, I don't think I've let you fuck my mouth in my bedroom yet." I said grabbing his hand and walking backwards towards the front door. "I had a dream that you did." He said as his arms swooped down and under my legs, picking me up bridal style and carrying me up the steps. "Oh and how was it?"

"I like the real thing better."

We walked through my door and he set me down before turning to lock up. I grabbed him by his belt loop and walked backwards towards my bed, grinning mischievously. Who knew that coming clean would make us so horny? His arms wrapped around mine as my knees hit the bed frame and we laughed as we stumbled, him almost toppling onto me. I made quick work of his pants and sprung his cock free from his boxers, tugging them down until they pooled at his ankles. I wasn't in the mood to take my time, or waste his. My lips pressed against his before slowly making their way across his jaw and down his neck.

"I can't wait to taste you." I murmured into his ear as my hand wrapped around his shaft and gave a few hard tugs. His forehead fell against my shoulder and he grunted. I lowered myself onto my knees, looking up at him with wide eyes as I took him into my mouth. He let out a long breath as one hand leaned up against one of the beams of my canopy bed and the other twisted in my hair. "Fuck Bella..." he moaned as my tongue pressed against the bulging vein that ran up the underside of his dick. I loved knowing I could do this, that I could make him feel like this. Without hesitating, I moved as far down onto his shaft as I could, my head bobbing up and down as his hand that gripped my hair set the pace. "God baby, you feel... fuck... mouth... unnngh.." he panted as his hips moved wildly, thrusting his cock deep in my mouth. I hummed against him as his pace quickened and his grip on my hair got tighter. One of my hands moved up to squeeze his sac and I moaned against his dick. "CHRIST SHIT!!!" He groaned. I smiled against him and took a deep breath through my nose, relaxing my throat as I took more of him in and pressed my nose into his pubic hair. "God.... Bella... fuck... shit, I'm already close. I'm gonna cum in that hot mouth... fuccccck." My free hand slid up the back of his legs and grabbed his ass pushing him into me more, sending his cock shooting down my throat. "Bella... Bella.. FUCCCCCCCCCCK!" He yelled as he tensed up spurting his hot cum into my mouth. After a few seconds he began rocking his hips back and forth as his penis softened between my lips. I licked him clean and wiped my face with Rose's sweater that I'd left on. It would serve her right to have Edward's cum staining the thing. Edward helped me up and ran his hand through my hair, smiling down affectionately. His lips brushed against mine lightly before going over them again and crashing his lips onto my mouth. His hands slid under my hoodie, rubbing up and down my sides as he sighed into the kiss. I pulled my lips from his slowly, looking up at him. "I love you." He whispered against my lips, resting his forehead against mine. "I love you too." I sighed leaneing backwards and pulling him down with me onto my bed.

**EPOV**

I cuddled up with Bella for awhile longer, running my fingers lazily through her hair. "Baby, I love you."

"Love you to, fuck bunny." I laughed and she positioned herself on top of me. "What should we do now?"

I opened my mouth to reply, when my phone began ringing on the nightstand. "Shit. Hang on, Baby." I grabbed my phone and flipped it open.

"EDWARD!" Jasper's voice was loud and happy in my ear. I groaned and rubbed my face with my hand.

"What?"

"Dude, come running with me."

"No."

"C'mon."

"No."

"Do it!"

"No."

"Ask Bella."

"No."

"Please?"

I sighed, "Yeah, still--"

"HA! I heard it! That was a yes. I'm on my way. See you in five."

He clicked off and I threw my phone across the room. Bella quirked an eyebrow. "You're gonna need a new one of those now."

I shrugged and pulled her down on my chest. "I don't care."

She traced circles on my chest as she spoke. "What's going on?"

"Whitlock. He wants to go for a run."

She laughed,"So that's why your phone is in a pile of rubble."

I kissed the top of her head. "I don't want to leave you."

She smiled softly up at me, "I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise."

She smiled sadly, "Promise. Everything will be okay, Edward. I love you."

"I love you. So I have to go?"

"You have to go."

I moved to get up, "Then I should change. He said he'd be here soon. Do you want me to ask Alice over?"

Bella laughed, pulling the sweatshirt she was wearing over her head. "Chances are, Alice was in the car with him as he called."

I laughed, pulling on my shorts. "Yeah, you're probably right."

I looked back at Bella, and she was eyeing me hungrily. "Edward, I think you should go like that."

I looked down, puzzled. "Baby, I'm not wearing a shirt."

She bit her bottom lip, "I know."

I laughed and went back over to her, wrapping my arms around her waist. "Does my being half naked bother you?"

She leaned in, sucking on the juncture of my neck and shoulder, dipping her fingers into the elastic of my shorts. "No. I can't get enough of you."

My hands drifted up her sides and I cupped her tits, running my thumbs over her nipples. "I hope not."

I leaned over to kiss her temple and she pulled away, smiling up at me. "Can I have your sweatshirt?"

I laughed, then retrieved it from the floor and handed it to her. "What for?"

She pulled it over her head then brushed the hair from her face. "So I can smell you whenever I want."

I leaned in and kissed her again, grabbing my tee shirt from the bed. "I shouldn't be too long, okay?"

She nodded, putting her forehead to mine. "I know. We'll have to get you a new cell, though."

"Go with Alice, if you want. Pick something out for me."

She scoffed, "I can't do that."

I raised an eyebrow, "Why's that Mrs. Cullen?"

"What if I do it badly?"

I put my sneakers on, "Baby, you don't do anything badly."

She pouted, "Edward..."

I sighed and went back to her, cupping her face in my hands. "Baby, please trust me? It'll be fine. I promise not to hate you if you buy me a shitty phone. In fact," I rifled through my jeans and handed her my credit card. "Use mine."

"Your parents gave me one, I can use that."

I put the card in her hand and made my way to the door. "Either way, Love. I'll meet you back here later?"

She smiled at me, still kneeling on her bed. "Mhm. I love you."

I flashed her a smile, "Love you."

I shut the door behind me and went downstairs just in time to see Jasper pulling into my drive way. He got out slowly, stretching and I saw a small flash of black race by me and into the house. I laughed to myself, heading to him. My poor Bella.

"Ready, Cullen?" Jasper asked smiling at me.

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, let's get this over with."

We began down the street and he scoffed, "I'm offended."

"Don't be. I just can't get enough of that girl."

He laughed, "I told you she wasn't so bad."

"I know, I didn't want to hear it. So you're really okay with me and her?"

"Of course. As long as you treat her well, I don't give a shit. You're a good guy Edward, and you'll be good to her. Not many people could do the things that you've done for her these last few months."

I grunted, "It was nothing."

"But it was _something_ to her. Don't you see? You're the only reason she's as together as she is."

I wondered if that was true. Could Bella really need me as much as I needed her? "You think?"

He snorted, "You bet. She could be in a shit ton of trouble, but you provided her with the necessary distraction. She's okay now."

"I don't want to be a distraction, though. I want to be her... her everything."

He laughed, "You are, you miserable shitfuck. You are what she needs you to be at any given moment. Like with me and Alice, right? Sometimes, I'm a teddy bear or a pin cushion, or a mannequin, or even her study buddy. But the one thing I always am, no matter what, is her everything. She and I don't work properly without the other."

I nodded, taking in what he'd said. "Bella and I are like that, I think. I need her to make me think straight."

"Well, all I have to say is that she's made you less irritable. And trust me, you were grumpy like a wet cat." He laughed at his analogy and I rolled my eyes.

"What're we doing about Rose?" I asked.

"Taking her out back and shooting her." He dead panned.

"... Whitlock."

"God, Lighten up, Cullen! Nothing. She'll come around eventually, so expect an apology when that happens. But other than that, we'll have to see how it goes. Is Bella gonna talk to her?"

I shook my head, "I don't know. I didn't ask."

"I don't blame you. She did some fucked up shit, dude."

"I know." I lamented. Rose almost killed us before we even got off the ground.

We turned the corner back into my drive way, and my car was gone. "Bella must have taken Alice out," I said, turning to Jasper. "You gonna be okay to drive home? Or did you want to stay a bit?"

He shook his head, reaching for his keys. "Nah, I gotta put in some family time before I head to Alice's later."

I laughed, back peddling into the house. "K, man. I'll catch you tomorrow."

"Later." He called, before pulling out onto the road. I laughed and ran upstairs, taking a quick shower before collapsing on my bed with my lap top and school shit. Smith curled up beside me, his little puppy face resting on my thigh. I put my glasses on, and looked down at him.

"Well, son, all that skipping finally caught up to us. Should we see how much we can get done before Mama gets home?" He nudged my thigh with his nose and I laughed, ruffling his fur. "Okay. Sounds like a plan."

**BPOV**

"I can't believe he's letting you pick out his cell phone. That's another 2 year agreement... he's pretty much saying that he trusts you enough to know he's going to love you for 2 years and beyond." Alice ranted as we drove down to Port Angeles to pick up Edward's new phone. I rolled my eyes and glanced at her. "That's a bit of a stretch."

"No it's not! Think about it... even if he _totally _fucks up and you dump him - which you won't because you're meant to be together - he'll have you as a constant reminder every time he looks at his phone. It's like... he's saying he never wants to forget about you through a technological purchase!"

We pulled into the small shopping area and I shook my head as we pulled into an empty spot. "You're too much Alice."

"Too much of undeniable TRUTH maybe!" She chided hopping out of the car. We walked around the car and over to the cell phone store holding hands and swinging our arms between us wildly, giggling like idiots. It felt good to have the weight of the secret lifted. I was starting to feel more and more like myself with each passing hour that went by knowing everything was out in the open.

An hour and a heated debate with Alice later, we walked out of the store with Edward's new phone. Despite Alice's protest to get the latest and greatest Blackberry, I settled on the latest model of his old phone in silver instead of black. "Imagine all the cute ways he could have customized that phone just to remind him more of you!" She continued to pester as we walked further into the mall towards the food court. It was nearing dinner time so Alice and I decided to split a smoothie rather than grab food; I didn't want to spoil my appetite just in case Edward decided to play chef again.

I sat across from Alice who was practically bouncing in her seat and handed her her cup. "What?" I asked looking at her skeptically as I sipped on the strawberry mango goodness.

"Nothing, I'm just glad you're back." She said, beaming.

"Alice... I was only gone for a week."

She shook her head adamantly as she sipped her smoothie. "No, I mean Bella, I'm glad _your _back. After... everything. And then with moving... and more of everything. You just, I dunno... changed?"

I furrowed my brows, confused by what she was getting at. "Changed?"

She nodded so vigorously I thought her head was going to pop off. "Yeah you just, like... became all meek and timid and that's not you. I'm glad you went off on us today. It showed you're growing your balls back."

I laughed heartily and shook my head. "Alice I didn't go anywhere."

"Sure you did. And no one blames you; none of us can imagine going through what you did. I'm just glad that Edward finally stepped up and helped bring you back sooner, though I'm pretty sure Rosalie would prefer you unhappy than with Edward." She said slurping the last bit of her drink.

Rosalie. The fucking cunt that thought she knew best. I stood up abruptly, looking down at Alice who seemed taken aback by my sudden movement - oh how ironic. "Al, do you mind if we go on a detour on the way to your house?"

She shook her head, smiling from ear to ear. "Nope! I love road trips!"

My fists clenched the steering wheel as I tried to form what I was going to say to her. What needed to be said in as few words as possible. Edward had shrugged off Emmett for a few days, now his girlfriend needed to be brushed off for a few fucking years. All of the sadness I had from the night before, crying with Rosalie thinking she really understood and saw what I couldn't... all of it had turned into blind rage. And I wasn't sure that was the best way to handle the extreme emotional mood swings I'd been having, or even what my parents would want me to do. But no, as I swerved into Rosalie's driveway and blasted the horn, I realized it wasn't about being logical or doing what was expected of me.

It was about showing Rosalie that I wasn't her fucking polly pocket.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!" I heard her yell as she became visible from her front porch. "Cullen you mother--"

I swung open the door and stormed over to her. "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU ROSALIE HALE. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!" I screamed.

"What?" She asked looking at me like I had gone completely insane and didn't know what the fuck I was talking about.

"You were SO god damn determined to not let me be happy. To not be the one everyone talked about for FIVE FUCKING SECONDS that you were perfectly okay with watching me completely break down in front of you." I scolded, my voice seething with anger.

"Bella! I was only trying to protect you from that SCUM! He's just USING YOU! He's going to fuck you dry and leave you for the next girl. How do you not see that?! We've watched him do it for YEARS!" She screamed back, flailing her arms around they were spaghetti limbs. "I was being your FRIEND!"

"Fuck that Rose! You were doing NOTHING of the sort! Friends don't pull shit like that, but guess fucking what friends also don't do this!" I yelled, reaching back and before she could tell what I was doing I swung my right arm across my body and punched her with a tight closed fist right in the corner where her eye and nose met.

"Rose you and I are fucking DONE, okay! DONE! I don't want you near me, near Edward... near our fucking _dog _when Emmett is babysitting. Got it?!" I continued to yell as I backed up, watching as she clenched her nose and bent over, her eyes shooting daggers as she looked up at me. I lifted my hands defensively giving the universal 'i'm done' stance before turning and hopping back in the car.

"HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS THAT? SINCE WHEN ARE YOU FUCKING ROCKY BALBOA?!" Alice asked, turning to me as I sped off. I took a deep breath and glanced at her as we rolled to a red light. "Rosalie was never going to get any of it through words and I've let her push me around for years; let her decide what was best for me, what I should and shouldn't do, since we were in pre-school. And after last night she had it coming."

Alice turned back around to face forward, shaking her head as if in a daze. "I'm not saying she didn't deserve it, but you could have given me SOME warning. I spent the entire drive over here talking about spring break ideas for the four of us, your plan would have been much more entertaining!" I laughed a little as we continued on the road.

"Hey I'm gonna tell Jazz to pick me up at your place. I don't want to miss it when you tell Edward you decked Rose!" She said, giggling and furiously texting on her iPhone. "Um, who said I was going to tell Edward?" I asked as we rounded the corner towards the Cullens.

"BELLAOHMYGODYOUHAVETO!" She squealed. "And if you don't then let me! PLEASE!!" She begged bouncing up and down in her seat. I let out a puff of laughter as we pulled up the driveway and I shut off the ignition. Alice was out of the car faster than you can say 'go' and I had to sprint up just to meet her at the front door. I ran up the stairs trying to catch up to her and she took off running, opening Edward's door without bothering to knock.

"OHMYGODEDWARDYOURGIRLFRIENDJUSTDEFENDEDYOURHONORANDITWASTHECUTESTTHINGEVER!!!!!!" She squeaked, panting from the dash from the car.

"Uh... What?" He asked, looking up from his laptop and directly at me.

I sucked in air like I hadn't tasted it in days, shaking my head as my breath calmed down and looked over at Edward. And holy mother fucking shit... why had I never seen him in glasses before? If it was possible he was even sexier with them on. I took another deep breath, making a mental note to ask him to keep those on later. "Nothing, we just stopped by Rose's for a second."

"YEAH A SECOND SO YOU COULD CLOCK HER ONE!" Alice egged on. I couldn't help but laugh at her enthusiasm at me assaulting our or rather her, dear friend.

He closed his laptop and moved it to his side, clasping his hands in his lap. "You hit Rosalie?"

"Uh, well..." I said biting my lower lip and glancing down at the floor.

"Not just hit Edward - she punched her! Like WAILED on her. It was like watching Girlfight, yanno with that chick who used to be on Lost? Yeah it was EPIC! And it was defending YOU! So how sweet is that?!" Alice went on glancing from him to me and back towards him for a reaction.

"Sweet. What'd she say?"

Huh? What? He wasn't mad? He wasn't going to call me crazy and say I'd lost my shit? I glanced up at him, confusion plastered on my face. "What?"

"I asked what she said. What time is Alice leaving?"

My heart sped up and I shrugged.

"Uh, HELLO GUYS I'M RIGHT HERE!" She said pointing to herself. "And... obviously you two need a moment, so _Alice_ is leaving with Mr. Smith right now." She said, patting her leg and looking towards the puppy. He hopped off the foot of Edward's bed, tongue wagging as she walked towards the doorway. "Told you you should tell him." She whispered as she brushed by me in the doorway. I took another deep breath and stepped inside his room.

"Close the door." He said his voice rougher than I was used to. I reached behind me, pulling the door shut and locking it just in case. My back leaned up against the wood of the frame and I looked at him, my mouth slightly parted and butterflies going to town on my stomach.

**EPOV**

Bella looked completely terrified of me. Like I was going to bite her or some shit. "So... what were you thinking?"

"I um.." She bit her bottom lip, then gave me a wide grin. "I was thinking she needed to know not to mess with the Cullens."

Good answer. But I wasn't done with her yet. "And what made you decide that hitting her was... the right way to go about it?"

"Um, have you _met _Rose? You think words mean anything to her? Trust me, if I thought there was anything I could say to have prevented it-- no, I take that back I still would have punched her. She almost made me lose you, she should be glad that's all I did."

"So is that you're game plan for the future? When I say something you don't want to hear, you're gonna haul off and hit me?" I snickered internally.

She smirked and made her way over to me. "Obviously Edward; I already have a history of trying to hit you. I'm surprised you even have to ask."

It was over, she was onto me. I reached out for her and she looped her arms around my neck, falling into my lap. I brushed my lips to hers, "Baby, I'm so proud of you."

She laughed, "You are?"

I laughed, pressing my lips gently to hers. "That was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me. And I'm so glad you're mine."

"Would it make it any better if I told I caught her so off guard I made her speechless?" She asked, sucking on my bottom lip.

I pulled myself into her hungrily. She was still mine. Still fucking mine. "Alice being gone would make it spec fucking tacular."

Her forehead dropped to my shoulder as she whispered, "So pretend that she is. I don't care what she hears."

I kissed the side of her head, shifting my boxers down a little, "You sure?"

She ground into me, "Make me yours."

i threw of my glasses and pinned her to the bed, grinding my hips roughly to hers. "Baby, you're always mine." She moaned into my ear, and I bit down on her neck. She yelped, and thrust her hands automatically into my hair. Always fucking mine. I tried to be patient, I really did, but it was all too much for me. I needed to be buried as far in her as I could and I needed that now. I reached down and practically ripped off her jeans, tossing them aside along with my boxers.

"Edward... Edward... Please...."

I moaned into her skin and reached down, placing the tip of my cock at her entrance. "I love you," I whispered as I thrust into her. She called out to me again and I stared to nuzzle her face as her body adjusted to me. She wiggled her hips a little, so I started moving in and out of her, slowly at first but building up speed because it had been too fucking long since I'd been in my girl. I kissed down the side of her neck, then back again, trying to keep her wet and willing. But then I felt it; her walls were closing in on me. One of my hands drifted down her body and I began rubbing frantic circles over her clit. I wasn't going to last very long and I needed her to go with me.

"Bella? Baby? I need you to cum for me... I need to feel you milking my cock as I cum. I want my cock drenched in your cum...please Baby... you have to give that to me.... fuck baby... cum for me, cum all over my cock."

She arched off the bed, pressing my face to her tits and gripping my hair tightly. "SHITCOCKFUCKINGASSEDWARDDDDD!" She kept on screaming, her pussy fluttering around my cock until finally I exploded inside of her. I eased in and out of her as we caught our breath until finally I pulled out and rolled over, pulling Bella to my chest. I smoothed back her hair and kissed her head. "I love you, Baby."

She hummed against the skin of my neck and placed a kiss just under my jaw. "I love you, too."

And that, right there, was all I'd ever fucking need.


	24. Chapter 24

**Ahhhhhhh... feels good to be back, huh Kella kels?  
Def. def. :)  
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**I know I missed you... and I missed E and B... but then again, we do have some news. Right, Kels?**

**  
We do? We do!  
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**yeah we do! Kels and I entered the tattward and inkella contest and if I do say so myself, our entry is pretty fucking awesome! :D**

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That it is. That it is.  
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**And it can be found on either of our pages: Where the Wild Things Are. And even though we write about them alot, we don't own them. Still some silly lady who had a dream once upon a time.  
Yep yep. So onward! Review, leave some love. We love love. And reviews.  
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**TONS OF REVIEWS!!!!! **

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**BPOV**

I woke up a few hours later, wrapped up in the smell of Edward and sex. I was on an endorphin high of monumental proportions; between punching Rose and loving Edward the day seemed pretty productive. There was only one thing left to do, and I hoped that it wasn't too late in the evening to take care of it. I scooted out from under Edward's arm slowly and I heard him stir.

"Baby?"

"Mhm?" I whispered as I searched the room for one of his t-shirts to throw on.

"Where are you going?" He murmured through a mouth thick with sleep. "I'm going downstairs to tell your parents about us." I replied casually, hoping he wouldn't freak out. This was something I realized I had to do without him otherwise this would turn into another fight of if I was ready or if I felt pushed to tell them.

He sat up, groaning as his eyes adjusted to the lamp we'd left on earlier. "You're doing what?"

I walked over to his dresser and pulled a t-shirt that was flopped over a bottle of his cologne and snuffed the hemline before tossing it on. Yea, I know - like an old married couple already. "I'm going downstairs to tell your dad that I'm in love with you." I repeated with a little more detail as I pulled my hair through the collar of the shirt.

"Can I come?"

I sighed weighing the pros and cons again in my head. "You can if you don't say anything and you have to promise not to judge no matter what you hear me say."

He face dropped, and his brows knitted together worriedly. "What are you going to say?" I moved to the side of the bed, cupping his jaw with one hand. "The truth, and I'm not sure that they're going to like it much."

"Why wouldn't I like the truth? Is your truth different from mine?" He asked hesitantly. He leaned forward, seemingly anxious to hear my response. I shook my head pressing my lips to his quickly. "No, it's just how we go to our truths is different. Edward, there's a pretty good chance that all this, all of this love that I have for you all of the need, I've had since before I knew how awesome other boys were. You've been it; my fucking sun, moon and stars ever since I can remember. Even when we hated each other that hate was just such a big part of what made me me. Edward, you've brought out the best and worst parts of who I am. But the one constant has always been you; even when we fought constantly, I could never see my life without you in it. And I'm going to tell your parents that and I don't want you to freak out because I'm telling them so much. And I don't want you to freak out because I'm finally comfortable saying to your parents with no fear of consequence that I think I've been in love with you all along."

He let out a breath and fell back against his headboard. "Oh."

I stood up, bending to pick up my jeans and slide them on. "And I'm sorry if you feel like that's too much, but if we're going to do this and _really _do this, it's the only way I can tell your parents. I can't just tell them that I like you, or I think I might have feelings for you. I just... can't."

He raised his arm motioning for me to come closer. "C'mere"

I scooted closer to him and he pulled me into his chest. "Baby, I love you. Just don't forget that, okay? No matter what, don't forget that I love you. Promise me, please." My lips brushed against his and I nodded. "I promise." I pushed my mouth against his a little harder before hesitantly pulling away. "It's you and me, right?"

He nodded, swallowing audibly. "Always. No matter what. Even if they say no, we'll find a way, Baby, I promise." I sighed leaning my forehead against his whispering, "If they love each other the way we do, they won't say no."

His head rocked back and forth and it was a beat before either of us spoke again. "Did you eat yet?" He asked, nuzzling his nose against mine.

"No. I'm hungry but I'm not sure that I can eat with the butterflies in my stomach." I said grabbing his hand and placing it over my stomach. It gurgled and groaned under his touch and I laughed a little. "See?"

"I'll make something for you. If you aren't out of there by the time I'm finished, I'm coming in for you." My face fell and I kissed him again, passionately. I loved him, no matter what happened with his parents, I loved him. "Okay."

"Anything in particular, love?"

"No, whatever you're in the mood for is fine with me." I stood up took a deep breath. "I'm gonna go."

He walked over to his dresser and threw on a t-shirt before making his way over to me and grabbing one of my hands. "I love you."

"I love you too Edward, always." I looked up at him smiling a little, hoping that none of this would have to change. It couldn't; he was my life now. "Kiss for good luck?" He leaned his head down and teasingly brushed his lips along mine before going back on them and fastening his mouth against mine.

He pulled away slowly, rubbing his nose against mine. "I'll see you down there?" I nodded and turned walking out the door.

Part of me wanted to race down the stairs and just shout it, get it out in the open; the other part of me, evidently the part that had control of my legs, decided it best to walk even slower down the stairs than when I had my boot. I turned the corner, walking past the kitchen and living room, toward's Carlisle's study. I knocked lightly on the door. "Come in!" He hollered from the other side.

It was now or never, and never wasn't an option when I wanted forever with their son.

I opened the door slowly, noticing that Esme wasn't in the room. "Oh, Bella! Good evening; you're getting home late." I nodded glancing around the room quickly. If Esme wasn't here should I wait? _No, no more waiting_. I took a deep breath and forced a smile. "Yea."

Carlisle's forehead creased and he took a few steps closer to me. "Bella, is everything alright? You look frazzled." I nodded quickly. "I am, a bit. Do you have a second?" He nodded, walking past me to shut the door.

"Of course" he replied, gesturing for me to take a seat at one of the available chairs.

I walked over to the seats facing his huge oak desk and slumped down letting out a deep breath. "I'm just going to... I think it'd be best..." I trailed off. "Where's Esme?"

"At her bridge club, dear. What can I help you with?" He asked, smiling warmly.

"Oh uh, um.." I was stuttered until I realized that he had caught us, well kind of. In the airport he had seen Edward holding me, that was a good way to start, yea? Yeah. "Remember the other day at the airport, when you asked us to get the bags while you got the car?"

"Yes, was there a problem?" His brows furrowed and I smiled, immediately seeing he and Edward's resemblance; like father, like son.

Shit. No, not the direction I wanted to take this. I shook my head. "No sir, but do you remember Edward and I that afternoon?"

He nodded, motioning for me to continue. "Yes..."

"How he was... um... holding me?" I felt the blush spew over my cheeks as I confessed something so innocent yet intimate. Edward and I had been a secret for so long, everything felt intimate when said out loud - especially to his parents.

"You were chilly."

"And in love." I added without realizing the words had come out of my mouth until they had.

He turned his head, so his ear was facing me and I saw his eyes blink rapidly. "Would you like to run that by me again?"

I took another breath before looking directly at him. "I'm in love with Edward, Dr. Cullen."

"Bella, sweetheart, I know that crushes can sometimes--"

"No, please don't try and belittle my feelings because I'm 17; I'm not telling you that I have a crush, or that I want to date him. Dr. Cullen, I'm _in love _with Edward and I have been for a long time, I just didn't know that's was what it was until recently."

He leaned back against his chair folding his hands together. "Go on."

I sighed and leaned back as well, glad that it was finally out there. "Dr. Cullen, Edward is an amazing human being. He and I haven't always been close but we were for a long time before a... miscommunication happened and we thought things of each other that weren't true. And since then we've been trying to form a friendship, but it's grown beyond that. I love the way he worries about me even though he spent the better part of our relationship being completely indifferent; I love the way he looks at me, and laughs at my stupid jokes. I love that we have Mr. Smith and he treats him like that's his son. I love the way _he _loves _me_. Because it never seems to wane, and I always know that I can rely on him, count on him and trust him to if nothing else, but always love me."

He was silent for what felt like a decade before clear his throat and looking at me seriously. "So you and Edward are..."

"Going to be together forever." I said with conviction.

"Forever is a long time when you're seventeen." He smiled wryly and looked to the side as if I had just told him I still believed in Santa.

"I'm glad, that means we have even more time than it feels like." I replied grinning back.

He sighed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his desk. "Bella, I love you as if you were my own and I want what's best for you. I'm glad that you've found something... special with Edward, but I'm afraid that we'll have to make some changes."

I felt my heart tense up. Edward said they wouldn't kick me out. He promised me they loved me like their own daughter and wouldn't, so I had to believe in that. "I understand."

"I'll talk to Esme, and we'll figure it out together, but for the time being, I think you should go stay with Alice."

I heard the door swing open, crashing against the wall and turned quickly, stunned at the interruption. There Edward stood, jaw clenched and scowling. "What the hell is going on here?"

I thought I was frozen, but evidently my body follows Edward's voice like the pied-fucking-piper and I felt it twist around to face him. "I told Carlisle." I said, barely above a whisper. I was being thrown out, just like he promised I wouldn't be... just like I feared the most.

"Yeah, I heard that. So what the hell are you talking about?" He asked, staring coldly at Carlisle.

"Edward, Esme and I cannot in good conscious have both of you sleeping in rooms across the hall from each other now that Bella has made it clear you two are in a relationship."

He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "So you're kicking her out? What's she gonna do now, Dad? I'm all she has. She has no where to go, and you're telling her to leave?"

"Now Edward, calm down. I'm not saying permanently. Your mother and I just need to discuss how to proceed. There's plenty of room here for everyone; we just want to make sure we do the right thing."

He turned to look at me, his jaw still tightly clenched. "I'll go, then. There's no reason she should give up her bed and her stuff because you don't trust us."

I stood up at hearing his threat of leaving. I was ruining his family by loving him, but I was too selfish to stop. "Edward, don't be ridiculous, don't leave."

He looked at me coldly whispering, "There's no reason for you to go."

I sighed and placed a hand on the side of his face. Carlisle was kicking me out, big fucking deal; I still had Edward. And I hadn't been prepared for that to outweigh the fear of losing any kind of semblance of a home that I had left. "Edward, it's fine." I replied softly looking directly into his dark green eyes. "I love you, it's fine." My lips brushed against his and I didn't care if Carlisle saw or Esme walked in. I needed to reassure him that everything was going to be okay, and this was a small way that I could do it.

His face lowered to my side as his breath fanned against my neck, "It's not fine." He said, looking up at his father. "If you make her go, I won't stay either. I'll find a way to make a home for her if you won't."

"Edward." I called, and his head turned to look at me. "Edward, it's fine, really. Everything will work out. Remember what I said about not judging anyone tonight? This goes for your parents. Let them _be _parents Edward; you have them. Be their son, okay? My heart isn't going anywhere; it's always with you."

"I'm yours first. I'm always yours first." He murmured as his arms wrapped around me protectively.

"Well, I'm going to call the Brandons and see if you can stay with them through the week Bella, just til Esme and I can talk things over. I'll... be right back." He replied stepping around us and out the door. I rested my forehead against his. "Everyone knows." I whispered against his lips. Even though there were dramatics going on outside of our little bubble, it felt so good to not have to hide from anyone anymore.

"Baby, don't go. I'll go to Em's. You shouldn't have to go. I'm so fucking sorry." His eyes closed and rocked us back and forth, sighing loudly.

"Are you kidding? One, this is your home. Two, do you know how much fun Alice is going to have playing Bella barbie with me. And three, do you know the amount of never-worn lingerie Alice has been trying to get me to take of hers? The next time I see you, it'll be like Christmas for you." I said laughing a little, trying to lighten the mood.

His arms pulsed around me as he tried to pull us even closer to each other. "I want to see you now. I don't want you to go." He let out a defeated breath. "And I like you naked the best."

"I'm right here Edward. I'm not going anywhere. Plus you know Jazz and Alice; do you really think the Brandon's are that strict? I wouldn't be surprised if they allowed co-ed sleepovers." I kissed his cheek. "I love you. That's not gonna change if I'm at Alice's or Emmett's or in fucking Timbuktu, okay? It's you and me, always. Remember?"

"I don't want you to go."

"Me either, but it's temporary right? Your dad said he just had to talk to Esme about logistics. I'll be back in no time."

"So I talked to Mrs. Brandon." Dr. Cullen's voice boomed as he walked back into his office. Edward's grip tightened on my waist as he tucked my head under his chin. "Bella, you're welcome to stay there through the end of the week and I promise you Esme and I will have some sort of decision made up by Friday."

"That's not good enough. What about Smith? And her stuff? And--"

Carlisle looked at Edward pointedly. "Edward, Bella.." his eyes softened as he looked towards me. "Bella you can take however much or little you want that is entirely up to you. And of course, you are always welcome here after school. I'm sure Edward would rip my head off if I said otherwise, and I dare say Esme would have me in a vice if she wasn't able to see you a few times a week."

"You're kidding right? A few times a week? If she's not back here by Friday, I'll go. I swear, I'll walk right out the door."

"Edward!" I scolded moving my head back to look up at him. I shook my head. I knew he meant well, but the last thing I had wanted was to tear him away from his parents who obviously loved him very much. My head turned back towards Carlisle. "That seems fair. Edward and I are just going to go pack my stuff."

Carlisle nodded looking entirely at Edward. "Alright. I'm going to give Esme a call and let her know what's going on."

I smiled and grabbed Edward's hand practically dragging him out of the room and back up the stairs. When we were safely in my room I closed the door, locking it probably for the last time. "On my bed, now." I directed.

"No, Bella, wait... I--"

I shook my head, walking towards him. "I don't care if you're holding me or fucking me but I want us on that bed so my last clear memories of us in this room are of us loving each other."

I love you, always. I promise, Bella. Nothing will ever change that."He replied as I watched his body relax and he moved to pick me up, carrying us both to the bed. I landed on the mattress with a soft thump and he crawled beside me. His arms laid lazily around my hip pulling me so I was tucked safely against him.

My lips pressed firmly against his neck. "I love you too Edward. We'll get through this; the hard part's over, now we just have to wait and see."

"I don't want to wait and see. You belong with me. I need you with me. I can't... I can't be without you, Bella."

"We'll figure it out. I promise. I'm yours and your mine, nothing's ever going to change that." We laid there a few more minutes before we untangled from each other and he went to open the door as I began packing my things. Not longer after, we heard Carlisle's footsteps coming up the staircase.

"You all set Bella?" He asked, playing with his car keys. I nodded looking back at Edward.

"Edward did you want to come along?" Dr. Cullen asked, tilting his head and looking at his son.

Edward's eyes shifted to mine and he didn't break our stare as he spoke to his dad. "I'll take her myself."

"Edward, the Brandons are expecting her this evening." He said sternly.

"I wasn't going to carry her there, Father."

I watched as Carlisle clearly toyed with the idea. "Fine Edward, but I want you home by..." he glanced down at his watch, "eleven, that gives you a little over an hour."

He nodded in agreement and extended his hand towards me. "Baby?"

i took his hand smiling as he wheeled my suitcase behind him. "Bye Bella, see you soon." Dr. Cullen replied smiling warmly as I walked out of my room. "Good night Dr. Cullen. See you tomorrow probably!" I heard him laugh as we made our way down the stairs and out the door.

Once we had gotten situated in the car I turned to Edward. "Where to?"

He face fell and he stared down at his dashboard "Alice's, I guess."

"Edward it'll take ten minutes to get there. Drive down the block and park." He looked at me, confused but started the car and tore down the street wrapping around the modest sized homes that sprinkled Forks. As we neared the turn for Alice's he pulled onto a side street and turned off the car, looking at me with a 'now what' expression.

"Tilt your seat back."

"Bella I don't--"

"Shh you egomaniac I'm not going have sex with you I just want you to hold me before I go into Alice's and have to sleep without you."

He reached for me, pulling me into his lap. "I thought you liked my junk."

I curled up against him, wrapping my arms around his torso and nuzzling my cheek against his chest. "I do, but sometimes I just want to love you."

"See! See? I told you!" He exclaimed triumphantly. Yeah, yeah... you were _right_, I thought to myself.

I laughed against him and slid my hand down his body, cupping his package. "Though, I do love it when you fuck me." I replied giving it a good squeeze and smirking into his body.

He rolled his eyes and squeezed my waist. "Hornball."

I scooted up his body chuckling quietly and releasing my hand from his crotch as I slide my nose along the curve of his neck, softly kissing him. "Yeah but you and only you will ever get me like this." I said settling back into him as I felt his arms tighten around me.

"I don't know how to be anything but yours anymore."

"Me either."

His lips found mine and kissed me quickly. "I don't ever want to find out."

My lips pressed against his neck again humming in agreement as they began sucking softly against his skin.

"I love you."

I sighed, sitting up and glancing at the time. "I love you too, but we should get going. I have to be there in 15 minutes."

He nodded and sighed. "I'm sorry."

I looked at him, confused. "For what?"

"Them." I shook my head kissing his lips firmly. "Baby, it's okay. Like I said, we'll figure it out." I slid off his lap and back into my seat, grabbing his hand. "I love you Edward, a fucking lot."

"I don't like being away from you."

"It'll be like... 8 hours by the time I see you next. Will you pick me up for school tomorrow morning?"

"Too long."He groaned as he started the car and we made our way to the Brandon's.

I grabbed his hand and placed it in my lap, lazily drawing patters in his palm with my finger tip. "It's going to be fine Edward. We'll be fine."

"It's gonna suck."

I bit my lip, trying to think of anything to say to make him feel better. Sure, it was going to be total ass but I had to be positive for him. I'd spent too long of our short-lived relationship so far being the doom and gloom one. "Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Isn't that what they say?"

"Distance makes my heart hurt. I don't want to miss you. I want you with me." He replied, sighing sadly.

"And I will be. I'm sure your parents will figure something out by Friday and you'll still see me at school and before school and after school..." I pulled his hand up from my lap and kissed his palm. "The only thing that will be different is the sleeping arrangement."

He grinned playfully. "That's my second favorite part."

"And what's your first?" I asked, pursing my lips and turning to look at him.

He turned to look at me, his face softening. "When you tell me you love me."

I smiled and squeezed his hand in mine. "Do we have time to pull over again?"

"Why? You okay?"

"Mhm. I just want to curl up with you for a couple more minutes before we have to say goodnight."

He nodded and drove a few more yards before pulling in front of a closed locksmith store. He twisted his body towards me, stretching his arms out. "Come to me, Baby."

I didn't need to be asked twice. I moved immediately and crawled over the emergency break into his lap, nuzzling my face in the crook of his neck. "Can't we just sleep here?"

"Yes."

I laughed against him, peppering his skin with soft kisses. "Your parents would be furious. They'd probably ship me to boarding school in Maine or something."

"Me too, me too." He whispered, pressing a firm kiss into my hair.

"No, they'd keep you. I'd be the slut that corrupted their son."

He squeezed my waist, shaking his head. "Please don't say things like that about yourself. You're talking about the girl I love."

"I'm kidding Edward." I replied looking up at him. "I hardly think having sex with one person makes them a whore." I grinned pressing my lips against his before settling my head back on his shoulder and snuggling in tighter against him. "I love you with everything I am." I murmured against his neck.

"I love you, too, Bella. More than you could possibly know."

I sighed against him and we sat there in comfortable silence for a while before I finally tore myself from him and got back in the passenger seat. Without another word, he turned on the ignition and reached for my hand, drawing circles around the back of it as it rested in his lap and we drove the short distance to Alice's.

I don't know why I was surprised, but as we pulled up to her house, I noticed the short black haired pixie sitting on her porch steps. She jumped up as Edward pulled us up into her driveway and I watched her sprint over to us.

"BELLA! About frickin time!" She scolded, rapping on the passenger window.

"Do you think she'll mind if we spent another few hours in the car and I don't get out right away?" I asked breaking the melancholy silence that had filled the space as we grew closer and closer to my new (and hopefully temporary) home.

His hand tugged on mine, pulsing around it. "No." He replied softly.

I crawled back into his lap, straddling him and kissing him like he was a WWII solider and I was giving him a goodbye kiss before he shipped off. Only, I was the one being sent away. I began grinding into his hips and felt him groan into my mouth. The steady knocking against the driver's side window pulled me out of my heaven.

"BELLA SWAN YOU GET OUT OF THIS CAR BEFORE I GO TELL MY PARENTS YOU'RE FUCKING YOUR BOYFRIEND IN OUR DRIVEWAY!" She threatened. Edward let out a sigh and leaned his forehead on my shoulder as his hand reached for the button to roll down his window.

"Hi there!" She said cheerfully.

"Alice, can't we have like... a couple more minutes?" I pleaded. Her face fell a little. "Normally I'm all for you two being all PDA-cute but my dad is gonna have a fit if you aren't inside soon. He almost called Carlisle twenty minutes ago. You know you guys were supposed to be here over half an hour ago right?"

"Fucking christ..." he groaned, placing a kiss against my neck. "Tell her to fuck off."

I chuckled at his request and saw Alice's face fall. "Dude, I'm really sorry about you guys. It's gotta suck living with the love of your life and then being pulled apart because you did the right thing." She paused and shrugged. "But seriously, my dad is gonna wig out and call Forks PD and your parents Edward if you don't make an appearance immediately. I already told them 15 minutes ago that I thought I heard you coming - that's why I was hanging out outside."

I sighed against Edward's body and nodded a little towards Alice. "I'll be there in two seconds then, sorry." She nodded and turned to walk towards the house. I reached for his door handle and it creaked open stiffly. "Help me grab my bag?" I asked sadly, pressing a kiss into his hair.

"I got it." He said nodding, but not making any sudden moves to leave the front seat.

I moved off him and out into the brisk nighttime air. We both walked around to his trunk and he popped it open. I slid one arm around his waist and he turned to face me, brushing a few stray hairs behind my ear. His hand remained on my jaw as he pressed his lips against mine.

"I fucking hate watching you walk away." He said, sounding defeated as he pulled away and grabbed my bag. I nodded, trying to swallow the rock that seemed to be lodged in my throat. We walked towards the front steps where Alice was waiting, not speaking, both of us staring at the ground.

This was all stupid and ridiculous and why the fuck couldn't we have found each other sooner? And why did my parents have to fucking die? And if they hadn't, would he and I have found each other? All these insane and completely random thoughts flooded through my mind.

"I'm gonna go tell my folks your here." Alice said, grabbing my bag from Edward's hand and snapping me out of my circular round of internal questioning. I sighed and gave her the best smile I could as I took a step up onto her porch and turned to face Edward.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow morning?" I asked, biting my lip nervously.

"First thing, Baby. I promise."

"And you'll text me later?"

He chuckled, grinning the sexy smile that made my knees weak. "Sure."

I smiled and laughed a little. "I'm sorry, I just don't know how to say bye to you. I'm not used to having to say it."

"Because it's not good bye. It's never good bye." He whispered leaning down and brushing his lips against my neck before tracing over the spot again, sucking on it softly. "I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked as his breath fanned over my skin.

I nodded, turning my head to kiss his lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer as I felt his arms snake around my waist. How was I going to sleep without him being next to me? I had no fucking clue. I pulled away panting quietly.

"Okay, I should go." I replied, nodding back towards the front door. "I love you."

He kissed my forehead, letting his lips linger for a moment before taking a step back. "I love you too. I'll see you in the morning."

"Mhm." I confirmed, watching him walk backwards towards his car. I waved in his direction as he got into the Volvo and the ignition roared to life.

As I saw his car pull away and speed down the road all I could think was this was wrong. I should be with Edward.

**EPOV**

I left Bella on Alice's porch, and all I could think as I drove away was that this was wrong. Bella should be with me, always. Never apart. I didn't want this, and I wasn't sure I could handle it. Could I really wait until tomorrow morning to see her? I suppose I'd have to.

The lights were off when I got home, and I went into the kitchen to put away the untouched fish I'd made for Bella. My father was sitting at the island with a cup of coffee.

"Hey," I said, moving to wash my dishes.

"Edward, how did this happen?" He asked, "You and Bella haven't gotten along in ages and now... now you're dating?"

I turned to look at him slowly. "She loves me and I love her. It just happened. We weren't planning on it, and I certainly didn't want it to happen. But it did. And I love her." I felt so strange to confess things like that to my father; private things that only Bella and I knew.

Carlisle sighed, "I understand. But I can't sit back and watch you two play house. I don't care what you're intentions to her are."

I nodded, putting the food in the fridge. "I know. But, Dad... I'm all she has. I can't let you throw her out."

"No, Edward. Wrong. Bella has your mother and I as well, and we would never kick her out. Bella will come back here and live with us, but we need sometime to figure out how we'll keep you two... separate."

I laughed internally. Nothing could keep me from Bella. "Dad..."

He stood and put his hand on my shoulder. "Edward, it will be fine. You'll be just like every other couple under the sun."

I nodded, looking down at my feet. Bella and I weren't average, though. We were Bella and Edward, which in and of itself was exceptional. I loved her more than I could stand, and I wasn't sure if being apart was good for us. The last time she spent the night away from me, she was in pieces the following day. I couldn't take that again, and I definitely couldn't do that every single time she had doubts. It would break me. I said goodnight to my father, and headed upstairs where I collapsed on my bed, Smith curling up beside me. He whimpered a little and poked Bella's pillow with his nose. I sighed heavily and pulled him into me. "I'm so sorry, Smith, I'm so, so sorry."

He whined again, and pushed his face into my chest. I rubbed his back and shoulders lightly until he fell asleep, but I couldn't. I couldn't sleep without Bella beside me and in my arms. I was empty and alone. I waited until four before getting up and going for a run. Smith came with me, and we ran quickly down my street and through the neighborhoods. I had so much tension, both from being away from Bella and from all the shit Rosalie had pulled that I didn't know what I was doing. Before I knew it, though, I found myself outside the Brandon's house. Figures. I realized that I didn't know where Bella would be and on top of it if she would even want to see me. I hoped she did. I needed her.

I tied Smith to one of the deck chairs, and looked at the back of the house. I knew that the widow just above the french doors was in the hallway, so I carefully stood on the table and climbed onto the over hang. Shit, that was high. I took another deep breath and inched toward the window, then carefully pushed it open. I stepped into the hall way, breathing a sigh of relief. I listened carefully for Bella. Bella, my sleep talking angel.

"Edward..."

Talk to me, Baby. Keep it coming.

I followed the sound of her voice to the bedroom at the end of the hall, and I couldn't contain the happiness that escaped from my being when I saw her, wrapped up in her blankets. I sighed and went to her, carefully folding myself in bed with her. I pulled her into my arms and snuggled with her. My arms ached from the lack of contact. I felt Bella sigh against me, then turn in my arms. I smiled down at her, and kissed her gently. When I pulled away, she put one hand on my face, "Are you really here?" I nodded, kissing her again. "Because if you aren't I don't want to wake up. This is a wonderful dream."

I laughed softly, "Since when do you say wonderful?"

She shrugged, closing her eyes again, "That's whatcha do in dreams."

"Baby, you aren't dreaming."

"How'd you get here?"

"Ran."

"Oh." She yawned a little, "Is it time to get up?"

"No, Baby. Sleep s'more."

She groaned and her little face scrunched into a tight pucker. "No. If you're here, I don't want to waste it."

I kissed her forehead lightly. "I'm here, Baby. I won't ever leave you. I promise."

She pushed her face into my neck and I tucked her head into my chest. "I missed you yesterday. I don't like sleeping without you."

"I couldn't."

"Couldn't what?"

"Sleep."

Bella cuddled closer to me, "So sleep. You've got some time right?"

I looked at clock over her shoulder and I knew I didn't. I barely had an hour before I had to come back and get her. But I couldn't bear another goodbye. "Yeah, Baby. Go back to sleep."

"I love you," She whispered.

I kissed the top of her head as she began to drift off. "I love you."

Within moments she was out like a light, and I pried myself away from her, kissing her forehead again. I crept downstairs and out the back door where Smith was still waiting for me. We sprinted back home and I started getting ready to go and see my girl all over again. As much as it sucked and as much as I hated being away from her, maybe this would all work out. Bella was fine. She was okay.

Maybe that meant we could be, too.


	25. Chapter 25

**OMG kels... TWO updates in LESS than a week??????**

I hear it's a blue moon all week... :P

Eh whatevs. Redic excited, you?

Duh. But you know who probably isn't because of the lemonade? SMeyers - the lady that owns these awesome characters.

Oh, yeah. Her. But you know what I would like to own?

What?

Umm, think about it :P

Reviews? You'd like to own alllll the reviews in the land? :)

Please and thank you :)

* * *

**BPOV**

"BELLA CHELLA MO MELLA FEE FI FO FELLA BELLA!" I heard Alice chirp as her body launched itself onto my bed. "Wake up we gotzta get ready and look smokin' for our men!" I groaned rolling over and reaching for Edward, he'd protect me. However, all my hand found was cool bed sheet. My face scrunched up, confused. Had him coming here been a dream after all? Alice looked at me and smiled a little. "He left right after Jasper did, I saw him grab Mr. Smith and take off." She replied, answering my unasked question. "So was he here all night?" She asked, curling her legs under her and bopping her head back and forth. Of course Alice would be a morning person.

"Um.. I don't think so. The sun was starting to rise when I saw him." Her face fell a little. "Oh, well I'll ask Jasper to give him tips on how to sneak in and out without getting caught. Jazz and I have been doing it for ages; I don't know how you sleep without him."

"Waking up every 10 minutes when you don't feel him next to you is not what I'd call sleeping Alice."

Her face fell and she wrapped her arms around me in a comforting hug. "Everything'll work out. You'll just have to do things the old fashioned way now and have him sneak through the window." She replied, laughing quietly as she pulled away.

I rolled my eyes at her and shuffled off the bed walking over to the bathroom that divided our rooms to shower and get ready.

"ALICE WHY ARE ALL MY CLOTHES ON MY BED?" I yelled from my room into hers next door.

She stuck her neck out looking at me as if I were a complete idiot. "How else would you pick an outfit?"

"Um, easily." I said picking up a pair of jeans and a black sweatshirt. "See? Outfit!"

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head dismissively. "That is not an outfit. That is a cop out."

"If I put it on, I can wear it out.. thus it's a outfit."

"But you aren't giving Edward anything to like... think about"

"It's not like I have to beat him off anyway Alice. I'm usually the one that... initiates."

"Excuse me?" She asked, looking at me wide eyed with her jaw hanging open.

I shrugged and walked over to the bed pulling out a pair of underwear and a bra. "Yeah, I'm the one that attacks. He and I have actually fought about him wanting to 'love me' where as I just treat him like meat."

"Do you?"

I sighed, and walked into the bathroom closing the door so I could put on my undergarments in private. "I don't think I do, I mean yeah... I'm definitely more, what's the word... _feisty _than him. But Al! He's my first, and you wouldn't believe how amazing he makes me feel. And it's like... the honeymoon phase or some shit, where I can't get enough of him and lately..." I swung open the door throwing the towel over the top to let it dry. "Lately, I've just been relishing in how good he feels _in _me. Is that bad?"

"No. In fact, I think not being able to get enough of your significant other is a good thing. But like, do you think you might be using sex to like... cover for something else?"

I rolled my eyes again and grabbed my jeans from the mattress, sliding them on. "No Alice. I'm not using fucking Edward to avoid dealing with anything. I like how he makes me feel; I like how he feels. I like sex okay! BELLA SWAN THE ETERNAL MOTHER FUCKING PRUDE LIKES THE COCK!" I shouted in frustration, throwing my hands in the air. Not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed Alice wasn't getting how I felt.

Alice laughed loudly for a minute before finally calming down. "Okay, okay. You like the cock. So then why not... stoke his fire a little bit?" She asked holding up a small dark denim piece of fabric.

I shook my head. "Alice, I doubt a miniskirt will work. He seems hell bent on being the female on our relationship - at least when it comes to sex."

She pursed her lips, looking deep in thought. "What if you hold out?"

I blushed and looked down at the ground. "That's... not an option." I replied, hinting at the fact that I could never deny Edward.

"Why not? Might get him to realize what he's missing, no?"She replied with a devilish smirk spread over her lips.

I sighed and shook my head. "Edward takes off his shirt and I'm two minutes from an orgasm, Alice. I can't hold out. That's just not even realistic."

She shrugged her shoulders and leaned back a bit. "What if you don't let it get that far?"

I sat on the bed and grabbed my hoodie. "What do you mean?"

"Hug him, kiss him, squeeze him... but don't let it go too far. You be the one to pull away and leave him hanging. Give him a taste of his own medicine."

"No, I'm not going to play games with him Alice. Plus, I really don't trust my own will power." I replied throwing the black hoodie over my head. "Though, I will try this." I replied grabbing the miniskirt she had held in her hands.

She laughed, the sound of victory clear in her tone. "Fine. Have it your way." I may not be playing hard to get, but she had finally managed to get me in a skirt; she was obviously a miracle worker.

We finished getting dressed, giggling like idiots. I threw on my heavy winter coat and sat in the living room with her and her dad while we waited for the guys to come get us.

"You two realize it's December in Forks, right? Why are you both wearing skirts?" Her dad asked us, as he sat in his recliner sipping coffee.

"Cause they're awesome." She said bouncing her knees, unable to sit still.

He chuckled and shook his head. "Women." I laughed a little and looked at Alice. She didn't always have the right answers, but she always had the best ones. "Al maybe I should--" I was about to suggest going back upstairs to throw on my jeans again when the doorbell rang.

My breath hitched and she turned to me beaming. "He's going to DIE!" She squealed encouragingly as she squeezed my hands around hers. I took a deep breath and smiled doing my best to try and believe her. We both stood and suddenly the skirt felt inches shorter. Had it always come to above my mid thigh? I shook off the insecurity and followed her, grabbing my backpack from the bench across from the front door.

**EPOV**

I was pacing beside the volvo. I wanted Bella. It had been almost two fucking hours, and I wanted my Bella. I met Jasper in the drive way, and he said he'd go up to get the girls. I wanted to tell him that I just wanted mine. Fuck Alice, I only needed my Bella. Alice came out first, giving me a wide grin before bounding down the stairs with Jasper. Then I saw her. Bella, but like... more. It was like Bella 2.0. The first thing I noticed: she had legs. Awesome fucking legs that seemed to stretch for days. I gulped and looked up at her.

"Bella?"

She smiled softly at me as she walked over, "Morning baby."

"Hi?"

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck, "Hey. I missed you."

I pulled her into me by her waist and my face automatically dropped to her shoulder. So my Bella was in there. "Get in, okay?"

She nodded and we got into the volvo, not bothering to say good bye. I drove for maybe three minutes before pulling over, dropping my seat back and letting my head fall back on the head rest. "I don't think I can do this."

She looked at me, "Do what?"

"Be away from you. It's too hard. I... I can't do it."

She reached for my hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "Edward I'm right here. You and I have all day together, and I already talked to Alice because I can't do it either. She said she'd ask Jasper to talk to you about how to sneak in and out of her place undetected."

I turned to look at her, but she was kind of fuzzy from my lack of sleep. "I did that already."

"Yeah, but he can tell you the details of when and how, so you can come earlier and we can sleep some."

I sighed, twisting our fingers together. "I'm so tired. I don't know how you slept last night."

"I barely did. I was waking up every 10 minutes reaching for you and would open my eyes when I didn't feel you."

I tugged her into my lap. "I missed you so much, Baby."

She snuggled in against my chest as she whispered, "I missed you too. Why don't you sleep for a few minutes and I'll drive us to school."

I laughed, keeping my eyes closed. "Baby, I love you but I don't think you could handle the awesomeness that is the volvo."

"...Edward I drove your car yesterday with Alice, remember?"

Shit. I tightened my grip on her, and settled in. "Just sit with me for a minute then we'll go, okay?"

She kissed over my jaw, then ran her nose over that line. "I'm in no rush."

"Good," I said, sweeping my hands over her back. "What's with the skirt, by the way?"

"Do you not like it?"

"Baby, I love your legs. But skirts aren't something you'd go for." I kissed her hair, nuzzling it gently.

Bella shrugged, "I thought I'd try something new for you."

"For me?"

"Mhm."

"I liked Bella in jeans though, too." I lamented. I liked my Bella anyway I could get her, really.

"I know, I just thought... I don't know what I thought. Maybe that you'd find me sexier in this?" She mumbled, burying her face in my shoulder.

I stopped and turned my head to her, my brow furrowed. "You don't think I find you sexy?"

Bella shrugged, "I guess I think you find me attractive, but not sexy... if that makes sense."

I shook my head. "No." How could she think that? I wanted her all the time and she was the hottest fucking thing in my world. How could she not know that?

"No big deal Edward. I just wanted to see what would happen. I'll be back in jeans tomorrow."

I pulled her back down to me, cradling her to my chest. "I'm sorry, Baby. I'm sorry I made you feel like that."

"You didn't. It's fine, I just wanted to see if I could elicit a reaction out of you like you do to me." She scooted back over to the passenger side, "We should get going or we're gonna miss bio. And the last thing we need right now is the school calling your parents saying we didn't show up."

I was so confused. "Baby... I love you and I want you. Of course I think you're sexy. Baby, I don't get it. I'm sorry that I made you think that."

"No Edward, I'm just being... dumb. It's fine, really." She said, smiling over at me.

"It's not fine, though. It honestly bothers me that you think that I think that." I was really kicking myself for making her feel like that. How could she not know?

She laughed me off, "Edward, I said it's fine. We're good, we're great.. can we just get to class?"

I nodded and started back out on the road. I hated that the one fucking thing that always was right for me felt like I didn't want her all the time. Just because I try and keep my libido in check, she thought I didn't want her. We got to school just as the first bell was ringing and she held my hand as we raced into bio, then broke off to our separate tables. I watched Bella from across the room, and I began to wonder why she thought I couldn't want her. Didn't she see all the people staring at her bare legs? No, evidently she didn't. I watched as Bella crossed and uncrossed her legs while Newton stared. I swear to god, I was gonna rip that kid a new one. The bell rang, and I waited for Bella at the door, slipping my arm around her waist as we walked out.

"What's wrong?" She asked, running her hand up and down my side.

"Nothing... it's nothing."

"Doesn't seem like nothing."

I sighed, leaning into her. "I don't like the way Newton looks at you. Like you're a piece of meat."

"No he doesn't."

I pulled away a little and looked down at her, "He doesn't?"

"No. Trust me, after all the times I've been accused of looking at you like you're a piece of meat... trust me, he doesn't look at me the way I look at you when you suggest that I'm acting that way."

"Because he doesn't love you. But trust me... he's checking out my chick."

She laughed a little and rolled her eyes, "Okay, so say for argument's sake he is. So what?"

"Bella, you're mine."

she smiled up at me, "I know. Everyone knows. There's no hiding.. so let him do whatever the fuck his eyes want to do, _you're _the only one that gets to touch me."

"I wanna pluck his eyes out with my fingers."

She laughed, reaching up to kiss me. "come on caveward, walk me to class."

We kept on down the hall, and I finally said something. "Bella, it bothers me that you don't think that I think that you're sexy."

Bella stopped, looking at me quizzically. "It does?"

I looked down at her, "Of course it does. How could it not?"

Bella brushed me off. "It's not like I think you find me repulsive. I just don't think you find me sexy."

"But I do."

"Alright." She said, shrugging and moving back down the hallway.

I tugged her back, and made her look at me. "Why don't you believe me? Really."

"Edward it's a circular argument that we've had before. It's obvious that I'm more attracted to you than you are to me, and you say it's because of respect and I love the fact that you're trying to protect my feelings, but let's just be honest. I find you completely irresistible and you, can more or less give or take me physically."

I could? I wasn't aware of this. "Baby, I'm not trying to argue with you. I'm just... I dunno. I guess I just want to fix it. Maybe it's just that I crave you. All of you, always. Whether I'm in you, on you or next to you, I have to be near you. Anything after that is a bonus."

"Edward there's nothing to fix." Bella soothed, smiling sadly."I'm just more attracted to you and more assertive about it than you are. And I don't fault you for not needing to feel me around you as much as I fantasize and crave feeling you inside me. Like I said, it's fine."

I pouted, "It's not fine though. You're sad. I can tell, you're sad."

"I'll get used to it, and it'll be fine. In a few years it won't even matter."

"Why not?"

"Because I'll have had a few years to get over it, and in a few years I won't be clawing all over you like a cat in heat and it'll be more evened out. You won't be constantly fighting me off and I won't be constantly hoping you'd claw at me more than you do."

My postured slumped, "I fight you off?"

She was watching me like I was an idiot. "Um, Edward... constantly. And then you justify it with sweet words, so I can't be mad, only hurt."

"Hurt..." It was the one thing I never wanted for my Bella and the one thing I seemed to be incredibly adept at. Fuck.

She was about to open her mouth to say something, when the bell rang. I sighed and leaned in, pressing a kiss to her forehead, before turning down the hall to my class.

How the hell was I going to fix this one?

**BPOV**

I walked into English, plopping down next to Emmett. "Hey." I said. He turned to me and chuckled. "Someone's dressing up now that the cat's outta the bag." I rolled my eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time so far today and gave him the bird.

"Testy, testy. Someone blow air up your skirt?" He got out with a straight face before howling at his own joke. I sighed and shook my head. Mike took his usual seat in front of me and turned back, smiling. "Hey again."

Ugh. I forced a smile and returned the greeting before burying my face in my notebook and scribbling down notes as if I actually cared about note taking in English class. I felt a brush of air against my left arm and looked up, seeing a folded up note.

**You punched my girlfriend.**

I nodded and turned to Em, still nodding. I scribbled on the note and handed it back to him while the teacher bent down to pick up a stack of papers he'd dropped.

**I'd say I'm sorry but she had it coming.**

He chuckled quietly and I smiled, thankful he didn't seem too upset. He flicked the paper back towards me and I almost missed it but fortunately it landed right on the edge of my desk.

**Burn this note after reading. I don't blame you. She's just like that sometimes. Gotta believe it was out of love.**

I huffed and looked at him in disbelief shaking my head. He shrugged and I handed the letter back to him without writing anything. He could light it on fire at lunch with his zippo.

The bell rang shortly after and I bent down to grab my backpack.

I heard Emmett whistle behind me and I felt the blush hit my cheeks like a ton of bricks. Fucking Alice's mini fucking shirt. Fucking shit. I took a deep breath trying to lessen the redness of my skin before looking up. "Bet Edward loves your tighty whities." Em whispered as he passed me, chuckling and patting Edward's shoulder as he passed him. "Your woman's got a fine ass my friend, a FINE ass!" He continued to joke as he walked backwards down the hall cackling.

"Hey." I said as I walked up to Edward. "What're you doing here? I'm not in the boot anymore."

His jaw tightened and his eyes were cold as he looked down at me. "What happened?"

I waved my hand dismissively. "I wasn't thinking, went to get my bag, Em was behind me..." I sighed and shook my head not finishing my sentence.

He spun around abruptly and moved quickly but stiffly down the hall. "EMMETT!"

"Edward!" I yelled jogging to catch up to him and grabbing his arm. "Edward."

He turned around, his teeth clenched and looking beyond livid. "What?"

I stared at him, tilting my head a little trying to calm him down. "What, what? It was an accident. You yourself made a comment this morning about how often I wear skirts... let alone ones this short. It wasn't his fault. I bent down at the hips instead of the knees. It was no biggie."

"He saw your shit. That's a big deal."

"He saw my _shit_?" I said, laughing a bit. "Edward, he saw my underwear. You can see them too if you'd like. Hell you can _have them_ for the day if you want." I chided, smiling up at him.

His eyes went dark and he shoved me against the row of lockers not a foot behind me. One of his knees pushed between mine, spreading my legs as he leaned into me. His breath was labored as he growled quietly "Are you wet for me?"

My breath hitched in my throat, and I'm pretty sure my heart stopped beating for a few seconds. "What?" I whispered.

"Are you wet for me?"

Well fuck, if I wasn't a minute ago I was now. I nodded, not trusting my own voice.

"And don't you think Emmett saw that?"

I shook my head. "I wasn't until very recently."

"Good" He said before pushing his lips against mine roughly.

My chest was heaving as he pulled his mouth away and rested his forehead against mine. Fuck that was hot. Can I get a redo? Maybe with a little bit of against-the-lockers-fucking? Hm? No? I sighed against him as the first bell rang. "Are we going to class?"

"Do you want to?" He murmured, brushing his nose against mine.

"Do you?" I whispered against his lips before kissing them lightly.

He leaned in even closer, lowering his head to my ear and breathing against me. "No."

I couldn't contain the smile that spread on my face. "Who needs history anyway? Jazz can give me his notes later." I replied quietly, as I turned my head and closed the gap, pressing my lips against his.

**EPOV**

I kept a tight grip on Bella's hand as I marched down the hallway, then pushed her gently into the janitor's closet. She was on me in an instant, her body pressed up against mine. She'd already discarded her top and bra, so my hands quickly came up to cup her tits and she moaned against my skin. I moved my lips down, sucking on the sweet skin of her neck and shoulder as her hands moved down to my jeans, and she fumbled with the button. I backed her up against the utility sink, and hoisted her up. "Baby, you're perfect." I whispered, panting as I watched her chest heaving with effort.

"Edward... Edward..." She mumbled, leaning back against the edges of the sink and thrusting her hips toward me. I reached up into her skirt and pulled down her underwear before pulling down my boxers and jeans just enough so that I could get at my cock. I ran the tip of it up her wet slit, and I knew I wasn't going to last long. Bella's arms came up and wrapped around my neck as I guided the tip of my cock into her. She tossed her head back, and I took that as an opportunity to suck on her neck because, fuck I loved that shit. "Edward..." She moaned, wiggling her hips a little against me. I couldn't go slowly. I just fucking couldn't. I started pounding into her wildly, feeling her pussy pulse and squeeze around me. "Ung... shit, baby, you feel so fucking good..." I murmured into her skin. I fucking loved this. Being inside Bella was better than anything else, and certainly the class I was skipping.

All of a sudden though, my hands slipped from her waist and she fell back, gasping as I heard her skin scrape against the the spout. I was going to check on her... I was going to stop to make sure she was okay. But Bella had other ideas. The way she fell back, my cock was coming in perfect contact with her G-Spot and her walls started to flutter rapidly around me. "Shit Edward... Shit... do... do that again..." I cocked an eyebrow at her, but kept on moving. It didn't make sense, but making her cum sure ass hell did. Two thrusts later, her hands started digging into my back and her pussy clamped down on my cock. I groaned as I shot off into her, leaning my head on her shoulder. I eased in and out of her slowly, before finally pulling out. I kissed my way back up her body to her lips, kissing her gently. "Bella, I love you."

She hummed against my lips, running her hands through my hair, "I love you, too. So much. I love you."

I leaned into her touch, and she let me sit there with her for a while longer before I finally felt her nimble fingers tapping against my collar bone. "We should go."

I nodded into her skin and pulled away to adjust myself and she got dressed.

I held Bella's hand tightly as we walked back through the halls. She was mine, and I'd have to deck Emmett later. That bitch was gonna pay.

"Baby, you okay?" I asked, pressing the back of her hand to my lips.

She leaned into me, grinning. "Yea, I'm good. How about you?"

"Better." I ran my hand over her back, and I could feel the gash in her soft skin. "I'm sorry I dropped you."

She pushed her lips up to brush against mine. "Well worth it. But now I'm starving; I'm glad we made it back with a few minutes left for lunch period."

I laughed and pulled her back into my side. "One more right? You wanna go home and see the boy? He missed you last night."

She curled into me, sighing contentedly. "Yeah definitely. I miss our baby. Plus I could use a nap in our bed."

"Which is ours? And yes nap... yes... definitely nap."

"The one we always use, in your room." She said, pulling away to grab a tray."What do you want?"

"Uh... chicken. Can you sleep with your top off? I miss your boobs." I did. It felt weird not having them pressed against my chest.

She turned to me, confused."I wasn't planning on wearing anything." She replied, grabbing the sandwiches.

I sighed and kissed the top of her head. "Sounds good, love."

She grabbed some fruit and then turned to me. "Shall we join the masses?" She asked, nodding to our table where Rose was flipping her hair concededly.

I threw my arm over her shoulder and across her chest, "We can sit alone, if you want?"

Her arm wrapped around my waist. "Whatever you want. I figured you'd want to talk to Jazz about sneaking in later with him. If you two talk now we can sleep the rest of the afternoon away at your place after school til I have to go back to Alice's."

I cringed internally. "I want you at home with me. That's where you belong."

"I know, me too. But until this weekend, we have to make due right?"

I sighed and let her lead me over to our friends and Rose. "I want you with me, always." I murmured into her ear.

Bella slid her hand under my shirt, and started rubbing circles on my back. "Love you."

"Love you," I breathed, sitting between Bella and Jasper. No one was making eye contact and no one was saying anything. Rose though, Rose had a nice shiner and I have to say, I was never more proud of my girl than in that moment. I leaned into Bella, kissing her cheek before i whispered, "Nice, Baby."

She laughed quietly, and kiss me softly. "Well, I had practice with trying to hit you all those years."

I laughed. Bella had taken a few swings at me, but never anything like that. "I don't care what you say, that is impressive. You never hit me hard enough for one of those."

"Well I never hated you as much as I love you."

I laughed, kissing her temple. "Baby that doesn't make sense. But either way, I love you too." I let my lips linger against her skin before I spoke again, "Do we have to talk to them?"

Bella nodded, lacing her fingers with mine and resting them on her thigh."Alice thanks for lending me the skirt today."

I let my fingers slide farther up Bella's thigh until they were brushing against the soaking wet cotton of her underwear. I knew she was talking to Alice, and I knew that I wasn't playing fair, but honestly I didn't care. She needed to know how much I wanted her, in case the janitor's closet hadn't been enough. Her hand fell away from mine, but I kept at it. I pushed her panties to the side and began stroking her folds, dipping my finger inside to circle her clit. I felt her tense slightly beside me so I kissed her cheek before I continued. Bella subtly began grinding into my hand, and I wanted to make her cum so I went faster and faster. Then the bell rang.

Fucking shit.

Bella looked at me, her face slowly turning pink. I kissed her as I removed my hand and fixed her up as best I could. I leaned in and kissed her again. "I love you, Baby."

"I love you," Bella replied. "But don't think you don't owe me for that one."

I laughed and grabbed our trash, catching her by the waist. I pressed a quick kiss into her forehead. "You got it, Baby. Anything for you."

**BPOV**

My last class dragged on. It was P.E., but today it was worse because it was P.E. with Rose. I was sitting in the bleachers, avoiding being called on for basketball when I heard Jessica whispering to Lauren Mallory.

"... yeah I heard Emmett's been taking so much shit to stay as bulky as he is that the 'roids just made him go off on her!" She squealed as if taking some sickening pleasure out of spreading rumors. I rolled my eyes, but froze as I heard exactly what the fuck she was talking about. "That's why Rose has the black eye. Emmett went into a blind rage and he just _attacked _her."

Now, Emmett may not be the most harmless of people but he would _never _attack Rosalie; especially when the "attack" had come from me.

"Jessica stop being a twat and sprouting lies." I said apathetically, glaring at her. She turned to face me, her mouth pursed and head cocked to the side. "The fuck would you know about what happened? You're too busy fucking your brother."

I knew this shit was going to start happening. I rolled my eyes again and sighed, shaking my head. "You're an idiot, you know that? No one thinks Edward is my brother."

"All I know is that it's _disgusting _that you two wait until you live together to hook up." She spat. "Guess you're double the idiot then." I replied, scooting closer to where her and Lauren were sitting. "Living together makes it that much easier to fuck him." Her mouth formed and 'O' and I could see the mice scurrying around on the wheel in her head.

"You haven't fucked him. You're Bella Swan the everlasting virgin." She said matter-of-factly. I laughed a little, and shrugged. "Things change when you're in love with Edward Cullen and he loves you."

"He doesn't love you." She retorted quickly. It was amazing how little I actually believed her now, compared to just a few days ago when a statement like that would have completely turned my world upside down. I shrugged again, "He does, but that's really between him and I." I paused for a moment running my hands through my hair. "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you to stop talking shit about Emmett; he didn't hit Rose."

"Yea he did."

"No he didn't."

"How the fuck would you know?"

"Because _I'm _the one that did." Her face fell immediately. "Y-you?" I nodded. "Yeah, apparently she had an even harder time dealing with me and Edward than you did... tried to get me to end it - and it almost worked." I sniffed and smiled as sweetly as I could while glaring at her Clairol blonde hair, "that's a warning by the way."

"A warning?" She asked looking at me incredulously. I nodded. "Yeah, I've spent the last few years watching you try and get him in your pants. I'm just giving you a friendly reminder to back off."

"You forget I _got _in his pants, long before you were even a blip on his radar." She said with a smirk. Oh the lies you tell...  
"Yeah, pretty sure Edward doesn't fuck trash."  
"Evidently he does." She said looking at me. I started laughing; one, because she just indirectly called herself trash, and two because she just acknowledged that he and I were having sex.

Bella for the win.

I shrugged. "Listen Jess, I don't care for you. I think you're pretty much the dumbest girl in the entire state of Washington, and I'd put my money on the biggest idiot of the west coast. _So _with that said, I'm going to repeat myself: if you try anything with Edward, even hold his hand in class... what Rose got? You'll be _wishing _that you got off that easy."

"You won't touch me Bella."

"Oh really?" I quirked my eyebrow. "Test me." My lips stretched into a broad smile and I patted her head, jumping down a few steps and heading for the doors. I was over P.E., wasn't it time to go home?

I changed back into my skirt and hoodie and headed towards Edward's last class. I leaned against the lockers across from his closed classroom door and tapped my foot on the linoleum floor. I pulled out my cell phone, 7 minutes til the bell. My eyes glanced down the nearly empty hallways, spotting a familiar face down the hall. I turned and waved towards Ben who was quickly approaching me.

"Hey Bells." He greeted as he got closer, rolling his car keys in his hands.

"Hey, you get out of class early?" I asked, leaning back up against the row of lockers. He nodded, "Study hall, I love having it last period." I laughed a little as he leaned his shoulder against the lockers a few spots down. "You ditch?" I shook my head. "Nah, I bailed on P.E. after I realized I had my least favorite class with my two least favorite people." He chuckled quietly, "yeah I heard about Rose. Remind me never to get on your bad side." I grinned and raised my fist, "yep best not get between me n' my man." We laughed loudly, quickly covering out mouths to mask the sound. There was a beat of silence before he shrugged. "You waiting for Edward?"

"Mhm... you meeting Ang at her classroom?"

"Mhm. Her and I are going out tonight; her parents actually allowed it." I gasped; Angela allowed out on a weeknight?

"What's the occasion?"

"Our one year anniversary." Ben replied, beaming.

"Aww." I cooed. "What do you have planned?"

"I'm taking her to Port Angeles to go to her favorite bookstore. I called the guy and asked if he could close up shop for an hour just so it could be us. My mom made us dinner so I just have to swing by the house and get it. We're going to have a picnic in the stacks."

"Awwwwwwww" I repeated, melting as he went on about how lucky he was to have had the chance to be with her and how much he loved her. The bell rang and we both turned to face the door where Angela and Edward would both be strolling out from any second.

Edward's tall, lean form was one of the first ones out. "Edward!" I yelled over the sea of people. He turned to his sides before focusing dead ahead, his brows furrowing as he made his way over to me.

"Everything okay baby?" He asked, wrapping his arms around my waist. I nodded "Yea, I bailed early on phys ed and thought I'd surprise you."

He kissed me whispering, "I missed you." I smiled and nodded. "We need to figure out a way to get more classes together next semester."

He laughed, nodding. "I'll talk to Mrs. Cope, love." He replied, as if he had that kind of authority.

"Good." I replied, pulling out of his arms and grabbing his hand. "Ben?" I asked, tapping his shoulder with my free hand. He spun around, Angela wrapped tightly in his arm.

"Bella!" Angela exclaimed, reaching out of Ben's grasp to hug me tightly. "I'm so, _so_ happy for you." She whispered in my ear. I grinned as she pulled back. "Thanks Ang. I heard you and Ben have big plans tonight." She looked down at the ground blushing before looking over at her boyfriend. "Yea... kinna."

"Well congrats, again. You guys are really good together."

"Yeah just like you and Edward." Ben chimed in. I felt Edward's lips press into my scalp and squeeze me closer. "Not quite as cute, but we're getting there..." I said looking up at my perfect boyfriend.

"Well, hey we gotta get going if we're going to make it down to the surprise destination in time." Ben said, pulling Angela closer to him. "Oh she doesn't know?" I asked raising my eyebrows.

"BELLA! You know? TELL ME! I've been begging him to give me a hint for weeks!" She pleaded. I laughed and shook my head. "A hint? Okay... hm." I paused to think about it. "Okay here's a hint: you're going to fucking love it."

She huffed as he started to guide her away. "Thanks Bells. See you guys tomorrow." Ben said waving at us as they turned their backs and walked towards the main doors.

"What was that all about?" Edward asked as he picked my backpack off the ground and threw it over his shoulder. "It's Ben and Angela's 1 year anniversary."

"... I thought Angela wasn't allowed to hang out with anyone after school on weeknights?" He questioned, grabbing my hand as we walked out to the parking lot.

"Apparently, her parents are giving her a reprieve tonight?"

"Hm. Well... good; I'm glad Ben's finally able to get her out of the house during the week. That would be insane living under a roof where you're curfew was essentially 4pm Monday to Thursday." I laughed at his exaggeration and leaned into his body as we walked over to his car.

"Yeah. I guess we're lucky; though we wouldn't even need a curfew." I smirked, leaning up to kiss his jaw. "Cuz I can date you without ever leaving the house."

**EPOV**

My shoulders slumped as I walked Bella out of the school. "I hate that I have to take you back to Alice's tonight."

"But I'll see you tonight right? You talked to Jasper?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I'll be there. But I liked it better when you lived in my bed."

"Well just think of it like another vacation... Hawaii in the rain maybe?"

We got into the volvo and I pulled out. "What do you mean?" I wanted her with me all the time, and she was calling the time we had apart a vacation?

"I mean, when we were in Hawaii we weren't using your bed and we still had fun right? We could think of my sentence at Alice's like another Hawaii and temporarily live in the guest bed I'm sleeping in."

I sighed, "I guess. This just fucking sucks though. I don't like you being so far away."

"Edward it's already Wednesday. It's really only 2 more nights; plus you'll sneak in with Jasper and aside from Mr. Smith being no where in sight it'll feel the same. You're home remember? I could be living in a muddy hut in some island in the pacific and as long as your there it's home." She said, twisting her fingers up with mine.

I kissed the back of her hand, and turned down my street. She was right, obviously, but at the same time I didn't want to think of it. She meant too much to me and we'd come to far. "Bella, I just don't want anything to happen. I don't want you to think that anything between us is going to change after this, okay?"

"Why would I think it would?"

Um, because you have a tendency to? And that shit freaks me out? "I dunno. I just don't want you to."

She leaned her head on my shoulder, crossing her legs. "Edward, I meant it the other day when I said I get it. You love me, I love you... that's it. That's all I need to know anymore. Nothing's going to change that."

I nodded, pulling into the drive way and shutting off the car. "I know, Baby. I'm just... scared." And I was. There wasn't any getting around it. I was terrified of losing her.

She leaned over, cupping my cheek. "I know I'm crazy sometimes, and irrational and don't make sense and it drives you nuts even though you hide it well. But I'm serious Edward, you will _never _lose me. I'm here and I'm always going to _be _here. You have me."

I dropped my head to her shoulder, pulling her into me. "Promise?"

"I promise Edward; it's you and me forever." She cooed, placing a lingering kiss on my temple. "Now come on, I remember being promised a nap with you in our bed."

I laughed and opened the door on my side and Bella hopped out, running up the front steps. The boy... always for the boy. Smith jumped right into her arms, and she cuddled him a little before sending him out to do this thing. "He missed you, you know." I said, moving to stand beside her.

Bella crossed her arms over her chest as we watched Smith running. "I missed my family too."

I furrowed my brow and looked at her, "Did you want to go see them?"

She blinked, "I mean my family; the one that we've started together, you, Mr. Smith and I."

I smiled over at her, "Race you to the bed, you non-cripple."

She pouted up at me, "But I was just getting used to you carrying me."

I cocked my head to the side, "I thought you hated that?"

"Maybe I kinda like Caveward more than I let on..." She said, smiling shyly.

I smiled wider and moved closer to her, "Kinda?"

"Mhm."

I picked her up and she giggled a little. "Well, I'm tired. And if I have to scale the side of Alice's house tonight, I need some sleep."

She buried her face in the crook of my neck and started sucking on my pulse point. "Definitely. Especially since you'll need energy for what's waiting for you when you get inside the guest room."

I laughed, kissing her temple and walking carefully upstairs. "Really, now? Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Cullen?"

"I don't know; is it working?" She murmured against my skin.

I kicked open my door and threw her on my bed, "A little."

she quickly disposed of her top, and smirked up and me in her bra. "Is this working a little more for ya?"

I growled a little and jumped on top of her, pushing her back onto the bed, "You work for me," I whispered. "No matter what, it's always you.''

bella giggled and tangled her fingers in my hair. "Good, because you're stuck with me."

"No one could ever be stuck with you, love. You're wonderful."

"Wonderful huh? I thought that word was reserved for dreams only?"

I kissed her cheeks then rolled over so that she was ontop of me. "No. Not as it applies to you. I love you, Bella."

She unhooked her bra and tossed it aside. "I love you too Edward."

My hands slid up to cup her tits and I sighed, "I missed your boobs."

She pressed her lips to mine, "Take of your shirt. You're not the only one who misses bare chest action."

I laughed and pulled off my tee shirt, "Better?"

She sucked on the hollow of my neck and started to hum. "Mhm."

I wrapped my arms around her waist, smashing our bare chests together. I peppered kisses across her face and down the bridge of her nose. "Are you cold? Do you need the blanket?"

"No, just you."

I snuggled down into her, closing my eyes and sighing. "You have me. You always have me, okay? No matter what."

She sighed, leaning her head against my chest. "I love you."

"Love you, Babes. But you know what I think?"

"What?"

I nuzzled the top of her head with my face, "I think... that my cock might have forgotten what your pussy feels like."

"Oh, that's too bad..." She bent her legs and drew them up around my body. "maybe it's time to reacquaint them?"

I nodded, grinning wickedly. "I think so, too." My hand slid down the front of her body and my head dropped to her shoulder. "Are you wet for me, Baby?"

Her head lent against mine, and I felt her nod, "Always, Edward. Always."

I let one finger dip inside her, thrusting slowly to get her going. Her hands came up and gripped my shoulders as she moaned into my ear. I took that as a sign that she was ready to go, so I pushed down her underwear, then my jeans and boxers but just enough to get my cock out. I didn't really have time for anything else. I leaned in and kissed her forehead, "I love you."

She nodded, her eyes closed, and cupped my cheek. "I love you, too."

Fuck, I still loved it when she said it to me. I pushing into her quickly, groaning when I was buried to the hilt. I gave her a second--literally-- before I began pounding into her. Who knew how many more times I'd be able to today?

Not me.

I sat up a little, changing the angle, and put one hand on the headboard while the other gripped the fabric of her skirt. I grunted and panted with every thrust, and watched in awe as Bella moaned and twisted around me, until finally she came. I loved watching her cum. That shit was hot. I thrust into her two more time before I finally lost it, then collapsed beside her, trying to catch my breath. Bella turned, looping my arm around her shoulders and kissing the base of my neck.

"did your cock remember me?"

I laughed, running my hand up and down her spine. "Yeah. Definitely. No one else has been in there, right?" I asked, knowing the answer full well and trying to suppress my laughter.

"Well yanno... Mike did totally have his way with me when you weren't looking in bio this morning. And then Emmett and the rest of the track team while you were in French. Other than that... just you."

I laughed out right, leaning up to kiss her nose. "As long as you're keeping it classy, Babes."

"Always, gotta get in practice time before the main event with you baby." She said, nipping at my jaw.

I tilted my head to the side so that it was resting on top of Bella's. "S'okay, babes. I don't mind sharing as long as you end up with me." Like. Fucking. Hell.

Bella laughed against my skin. "Good because I was going to ask you to drop me off at Tyler's house instead of Alice's so I could practice with the football team before you snuck into my room again."

I pursed my lips, my hand still moving across her back. "You should probably take that skirt off. It's digging into my hip."

She let out a breath, and moved her hands to the catch on her skirt."What like this?" She asked coyly, taking off her skirt.

I pulled her back into my chest, and my hand resumed movement. "Yup."

She started placing soft kisses over my skin. "Did you want me to stay for dinner tonight?"

"Is that a serious question?"

Bella nodded, "Yeah, you never know."

"Seriously?" I asked, feigning disappointment.

"Seriously. I don't want it to be weird at dinner for you if I'm there... and your parents..."

I ran my hand through her hair, pushing it out of her face, "Why would it be weird for me?"

"I dunno, you just seemed ticked at your dad. I don't want me being there cause that stuff to resurface."

"Bella, I'm on your team no matter what. Fuck my dad." I squeezed her and kissed the top of her head.

"I know, but I don't want there to BE different teams."

"Okay, but if there are I'm on yours."

She laughed and rolled her eyes, before pressing her lips to mine. "And I'm always on yours no matter what, obviously."

"Mmhm. So are you gonna stay?"

"You still haven't said if you wanted me to or not." She replied with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes, "Seriously?"

She laughed, moving to sit up. "It's ok, I'm not offended."

I stuck my tongue out at her.

She shrugged, pressing her lips quickly to mine, "I'll get ready to go then."

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down on top of me. "Baby, I thought we talked about you walking away from me."

Her breath washed over my face as her lips hovered over mine. "I was clearly going to _scoot _away, not walk."

"Same thing," I murmured, kissing her softly. I hated watching her walk away from me.

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and nuzzled my nose with hers."So, is that a yes I can stay and you'll cook?"

"Of course. You're still mine, aren't you?"

She hummed, and kissed my cheek. "Always."

And that was exactly what I wanted for the rest of my life: My girl, loving me.


	26. Chapter 26

**Kellerelleries? You're the best :)  
naw, you are.  
**

**Ummm, I still vote for you.  
Psh... moving on :P So I hear SMeyer still owns these characters.  
**

**yeah, yeah tots lame. But you know what I was thinking about randomly while reading reviews?  
That we want more?**

**Yup yup :)  
So how 'bout we let the lovely reviewers read and do what they do best?**

**Sounds good :)**

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* * *

  
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**BPOV**

Edward's alarm went off what felt like 10 minutes later and I groaned as I reached over him to slap it. I stretched my arms out before flopping back on his chest. I felt him stir and vibrations of laughter rumbled through his body. "What time did we set the thing for?" He asked, his voice thick with sleep.

"Five I think. Just in case your mom got home early from work." He grunted, gripping me tighter against him. "And we absolutely have to go down there?" I nodded against him, sighing. "Unless you'd rather your parents found me naked in your bed, like this."

He laughed, still sounding tired. "Then we could go to Arkansas. For real." I laughed, and shook my head against his chest. "What's with you and Arkansas? Do you have a secret love for the Clinton family or something?"

His grip tightened around me as he pulled me closer to him, my breasts smashed against his chest. "We could buy a cabin in the woods so I could fuck you as hard as I want and make you scream." I adjusted my body so I was hovering over him, my face inches from his with a smile plastered on my lips. "You already make me scream baby."

"Yeah, but not loud enough to make the earth move," He sighed dramatically as he turned to look out the window peering out into the gray abyss that was Forks. "I feel like the acoustics aren't right in this town..."

"Maybe for winter break we could go somewhere, and you could test your seismic fucking skills."

"Definitely. Where to, love?"

I shrugged and sat up, leaning against his headboard, pulling the sheets up around my body. "Wherever." I paused briefly remembering Esme mentioning something about a Christmas vacation. "Fuck, I think you're parents are planning a vacation for our time off already."

He snuggled into my side, clutching me tighter as I felt him frown into my skin. "No."

"Mhm." I said, nodding. "I remember Esme asking me about it. Somewhere warm I think she said. Caribbean? South America? The fuck was it..." I replied, biting my lip and trying to remember the conversation.

"Bella," Edward started, turning to push his face into my stomach mumbling, "I don't think you understand. We can't go with them. If we do, we'll _never_ be alone. It'll be like fucking... fucking... jail. It'll be me and my dad, or you and my dad. Never just you and me. It'll be like we're six again."

I sighed. "Edward, what do you expect us to do? Never go on vacation with your parents? For all intents and purposes I'm _their daughter _now."

"Ew."

"I'm just saying... my parents gave me to yours. I can't really be like, 'I appreciate you taking me in instead of casting me aside like you should have probably done, but I'm gonna have to turn down your offer to bond like a real family.' " He just wasn't getting it, I had to start treating whoever my _new _parents were better to make up for the shit daughter I'd been to my own when they were alive.

He looked up at me, seemingly confused. "Why would they cast you aside?" His face fell as realization hit. "Oh."

"Because my parents died Edward. Newsflash." I snipped. I really didn't like feeling like he was making me choose him or his parents.

"That's not what I meant, and if they cast you aside because yours died, they would be shit heads." He leaned in closer, his brows knitting together. "What's wrong? What aren't you telling me?"

I furrowed my brows. "What? Nothing. I just owe a lot to your parents and if all they need from me is to spend a family vacay not humping their son in their line of sight, it's the least I can do." I took a heavy breath and ran my fingers through his hair. "Plus they'll let us be alone; maybe not share a room again, but I doubt they'll handcuff us to them and force us to only do activities with them present."

"Dude, if you're wrong... bad things. That's all I have to say. Bad things."

I laughed against him and pressed my lips into his hair. "Plus, maybe it'd do me some good to not have the chance to jump you every five seconds."

"But I'm just getting into it. And now you're cutting me off?" He pouted, like a frustrated child.

I shook with laughter and shook my head. "Never baby. I'll never tell you no."

His voice was calm and serious as he added, "You're laughing at my pain."

"Edward look at me." I replied sternly. He turned his head towards me and lifted his head. I crashed my lips against his and felt him move over me, pinning me between him and the bed. I pushed my head against the wood board, pulling my mouth from his. "Edward, I'm not laughing at you. I'm telling you, I will never say no to you when you want to be inside me." I whispered gravely as I slid one of my hands down his body and wrapped it around his semi-hard shaft. He pushed his forehead into my shoulder, letting out a breath as I began to pump him slowly.

"If I asked now what would you say?" He breathed.

"No." I replied, biting back a giggle.

"But you just said--"

My lips silenced him as my tongue pried his mouth open and slid lazily against his own. I bent my knees up so he fit between them perfectly. His hands skimmed down my sides gripping my hips as he angled himself in front of me. My hand was still pumping against him and I gave him a firm squeeze, loving how it felt when he moaned into my mouth. I groaned against him, as I rubbed his tip up and down my slit.

"Fuck," he breathed panting against my lips. "I'll never understand how you can be so wet for me all the time."

I smiled and nodded. "Always for you."

I guided his cock between my folds and he kissed me hungrily as he slid inside, filling me to the hilt and stretching me completely. We both groaned at the sensation and he stilled for a moment before slowly rocking in and out of me. The position I was in, half sitting against his bed, was allowing him to hit new angles and I loved every fucking minute of it. He picked up the pace quickly as I muffled my moans by biting into his shoulder and clawing at his back.

"Baby, you're already twitching." He breathed out, sucking on my collar bone. My hips began meeting each of his thrusts roughly.

"Harder" I moaned into his ear. "Edward fuck me so hard I scream." I begged.

He growled against the column of my neck and began thrusting in me wildly. He slowed abruptly and and scooted us down on the bed so I was flat against the mattress, his hands reaching for mine and pinning my wrists above me with one hand. His other hand dug into my hip, squeezing it tightly as he picked up the pace again. I arched my hips, meeting his thrusts once more. I bit my lip, looking up into his dark green eyes that showed nothing but determination. He smashed his lips against mine as he thrust harder and harder into me. I moaned into his mouth and felt him speed up. His hand that was holding my arms in place squeezed, gripping them harder as his mouth moved to assault my neck with his teeth.

"Cum Bella. Cum all over my dick. Milk my cock." He demanded hoarsly into my ear. I mewed and he bit down hard against my neck as his hand moved quickly from my hip to between our bodies; his thumb beginning to rub frantic circles against my clit.

"Seriously Bella. I need you to squeeze my cock. I want to bury myself inside you and give you every drop of my cum but I need you to milk me. Give yourself to me." He growled. I threw my head back, feeling his teeth sink into me once more and I swear I saw stars as my orgasm bursted around him.

"OHHHH FUCCCCCK EDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDWARRRRD!" I screamed loudly as my orgasm shook my body with its intensity. "SHIT SHIIIIT BELLLLLLLLLLLLA" He groaned into the curve of my neck as I felt him spill into me. Once his initial load shot off deep inside me, he began rocking his hips, letting my pussy which I could still feel pulsating, milk him completely dry. He rolled off me slowly, throwing his arm over his chest.

"Holy shit."

I laughed quietly and nodded. "No kidding." He turned his head looking towards me, and pulled me against him, kissing my forehead. "I hope your mom's not home yet." I replied, smirking.

"Even if she's a mile away, I'm pretty sure she heard you say my name." He stated, beaming.

"Pretty proud of yourself, aren't you skipper?"

"Actually, yeah. I kinda fucking am. I love making you cum - especially when it gets you to yelp my name like that."

"I didn't _yelp_."

"Oh right," he said chucking. "You screamed at the top of your lungs. Sorry for misspeaking." He continued, his lips spread in a Cheshire grin. I rolled my eyes and sat up. "I'm gonna go take a shower, so I don't smell like sex when I see your parents." I replied not waiting for a response before grabbing my clothes and peeking both ways as I scurried across the hall to the bathroom.

I showered quickly, and walked back over to his room where Edward had gotten dressed and was brushing Mr. Smith. "My mom's home." He said, not looking up. "She said dinner will be ready in about an hour and we should head downstairs to talk about things before then." He continued, sounding a little broken. I sank down onto the bed beside him. "Edward it's gonna be fine. Even if they don't let me come back, we'll still be together; that's not going to change just because I'm not across the hall anymore." Who was this girl? And what the hell happened to the one that was petrified of people knowing for fear of just that happening? Oh right, she fell in love with Edward.

His voice dropped to barely above a whisper as he spoke. "Bella, I can't listen to them say no when I just got my shit right." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I can't let that happen."

I grabbed one of his hands wrapping it between both of mine. "What are they gonna say no to? Us? They can't; we're together. They don't get to make that decision."

"I hope so."

I looked at him seriously. "No Edward... _no_. They don't get to make that decision for us. Whether or not we are together is between you and I. And if I have to be the one to break it to them, then I will. Because this, you... it means everything to me." My voice dropped significantly in volume as I looked at our entwined fingers. "You mean everything to me."

**EPOV**

I pulled Bella into my lap, and Mr. Smith curled up on hers. "It's just easier to be you and me when there isn't any distance between us. I don't want anything to change because I have to go farther to get to you."

Bella rested her head on my shoulder. "Nothing's going to change aside from where we sleep. Now it'll just be at Alice's or whatever, instead of here."

"That's the other thing-- where the hell are you going to go? If anything, it should be me."

"Um, no? Edward this is _your _home; not mine. My home is still covered in caution tape and is completely abandoned."

I sighed into her hair, squeezing her tighter to my chest. "Bella, like you said before: Carlisle and Esme are the only parents you have now, and you've been through something... something I wish I could take from you but I can't. Baby, your whole world can't change like that ever again. I won't let it." And I wouldn't. I would walk out the door before I let her.

"It's fine Edward. Your parents are never going to be my parents, not as much as I wish they could be, or as much as they wish they could fill in. Your mom will never be as hippy-ish as my mom and your dad will never be as stoic and tight-lipped as Charlie. It doesn't matter where I live anymore because I'm never going to have a real home again." She said, looking a little lost.

That shit fucking broke me. "Not ever?"

Bella shook her head, "No. Edward, I lost my parents. When we have kids, _if _we ever have kids, I'm never going to have to fight with you to see who's home we go to for the holidays. We won't ever have that argument; not over birthdays or Thanksgiving or Christmas... because I have no home. I have no family to avoid or complain about being too overbearing. I don't have a mom to help me pick out what to wear to stupid dances, or how to do my hair for my wedding day. I don't have a dad to walk me down the aisle or pretend that he can protect me from all the bad in the world. I'll never be daddy's little girl again, and I'll never have a mom that is more like a friend than a role model. My parents are gone; my home's gone. And I'll never have either again."

I pulled her closer to me, and cradled her in my arms. She was still so fucking fragile. "Bella, let me be those things. Let me protect you and keep you safe, and argue with you and kiss you and love you and hold you. Let me be your home. Let me be your family. Let me... just let me love you."

Smith hopped out of her lap, and Bella came over to straddle me. Her eyes were wide and wet as she nodded slowly, cupping my face in her hands before pressing her lips to mine. I just folded her into me after that. I squeezed her tightly to my chest and just let her cry on me for a while as she processed whateverthefuck was going on in her head. I knew one thing right then: Bella wouldn't ever again feel alone like this. I wouldn't allow it. Not ever. She needed this family so much more than I ever would, and she would have them. Like I said, I would walk out that door first. After a few more minutes, I shifted underneath her and kissed the side of her head. "Baby, we should get down stairs."

Bella nodded against me, then pulled her face from my neck. "Okay."

I leaned down, looking into her eyes and wiping away her tears. "It's you and me, okay? Remember?"

She nodded, "I know." She took a few deep breaths before she spoke again, "Edward?"

"What's up, baby?" I murmured, trying to gently rub the redness off of her cheeks.

"Thanks for not giving up on me; on us." She whispered, smiling sadly. "I love you."

I laughed a little and kissed her. "Why would I ever do that? I love you too, and in my opinion, you're the cutest when you're bat shit crazy." Fucking lie. That shit scared the crap out of me.

**She sniffled, and rolled her eyes at me **"No need to lie Edward. I just want you to know, you can stop worrying about me second guessing you and us. That won't ever happen again. I promise." She said, pecking me on the cheek. "So firing squad?" She asked, nodding toward the door.

"Definitely." I grabbed her hand and we started downstairs. "Baby, have you seen my cigarettes?"

"Nope. Maybe you left them in the car?"

"Damn. Maybe my dad has some..."

Bella stopped, turned to me and squeezed my hands. "It'll be fine. We'll be fine."

I laughed, and pulled her into the dining room. "I know, silly Bella."

She tensed as we saw my parents looking back at me, "Hi Mr. & Mrs. Cullen."

I squeezed Bella's hand, trying to calm her down. This shit hadn't even started yet, and she was already freezing up on me. "Good Evening, you two." My mother said, smiling warmly. "Sit."

She nodded, and we sat side by side, my hand in her lap. This wouldn't break us. I wouldn't let it. "So what's up?"

"Your mother and I have discussed all of the new... _situations_ that have come to our attention." He turned to Bella, clearing his voice. "We tried very hard to think of what your parents would want for you and expect from us, which is why we've decided you should move--"

"No." I heard myself interrupt. I couldn't let him say it. I couldn't let him say the one thing that would tear Bella down. "If anyone's leaving this house, it's going to be me."

"That's ridiculous Edward. You're not leaving this house and we're not asking Bella to, not technically at least."

I looked between my parents, then back at Bella. "Well, whatever. I'll go. Let her stay upstairs."

I heard my mother sigh, "Sometimes you're incorrigible. I wonder where you came from." She was grinning a little. She didn't mean it.

I heard my dad clear his throat, trying to get our attention again. "As we were saying. We want Bella here just as much," He paused chuckling "Well maybe not as much as you do, but certainly quite a bit." He turned to Bella as he continued, "You're like the daughter we never had, and we've always felt that way. But we as parents can't pretend like we don't know what 17 year olds do, or at least _want _to do behind closed doors and we can't allow for such temptation to be ignored. That's why we'd like for Bella to move into the guest house in the back of the property."

I sighed, rolling my eyes. The guest house was nothing. It could have been much worse. "I'll go. Let her stay upstairs." I repeated.

My mother looked at my father, but hesitated. It was he who spoke. "Now, this was where your mother and I differed. Edward, I know what it's like to be a 17 year old boy. And I worry about you... finding other means to get what you ultimately want if you were to stay back there. I feel like we can keep a better eye on you here at the house. Bella will be fine back there. Esme will help you to decorate if you'd like - anyway you'd want."

"Of course, dear. Anything you want. We can go into the city this weekend, and pick everything out. Paint, bedding, furniture--"

"And in the mean time?" I asked, squeezing my hand over Bella's in my lap.

My mother looked at the two of us, her eyes softening. "Bella will stay with the Brandon's."

I sighed, and closed my eyes. "No. If you don't want us in the house together, I'll go to Emmett's or something. She's been through enough, don't you think."

That was the first time I saw any of them falter. Even a little. "Edward... honey," My mother started, "this isn't a punishment. We're only trying to do what's best. For both of you."

"Then let her be, Mom. Let me go to Emmett's or Jasper's or whatever. Let her stay."

"I'd like to stay here, if that's okay. In the guest house, the way it is, if that's alright?" Bella said softly.

I leaned over and kissed her forehead gently, letting my lips linger over her skin. "You can have whatever you want. I'll protect you remember?"

bella gave me a small smile, then turned back to my parents. "Is that okay?"

I watched them sigh at each other, and my mother nodded. "Yes, dear. Whatever you want." She reached over and patted Bella's shoulder. "We just want you to be comfortable. You mean the world to all of us, Bella."

She smiled brightly and nodded, "I just want a steady place to be til I graduate and then scurry off to college next Fall."

My heart fucking dropped to my knees right then. I didn't want to think about her leaving me. I didn't even want to consider the fact that we wouldn't be going together. I needed her. Fuck. "Okay... sounds okay."

"Good." My mother said, "Now that that's done with, we should eat. Food's getting cold."

We began dinner and eating and taking and shit. Unintentionally, Bella had opened a can of worms I hadn't even considered.

College.


	27. Chapter 27

Dude, mylife is tots back in full swing  
Mhmmm I concur

Like... it's flying and I'm having a blast. But SMeyer prolly isn't. She prolly wouldn't even recognize these characters. Even though she owns them.  
Prolly not cuz we like storylines with a bit of citrus.

TONS of citrus... TREES in fact :)  
You know who also likes the citrus?

hmmm, them?  
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**BPOV**

Edward had been unusually quiet all through dinner but I didn't call him on it. I figured he was like me, trying to process the conversation we'd just had with his parents. But he was still fairly mum as we walked outside towards his car after dinner. He was driving me to Alice's to get my things so I could come back and set up camp in the creepy guesthouse.

Okay maybe I was being dramatic. It wasn't creepy; but the idea of being alone that far away from everyone was unsettling. I hadn't spent a night alone since I was in the hospital and even then I would bet that Carlisle and Esme were at my side.

We walked hand in hand down the porch steps and I waited until we were in the car before turning towards him. "Hey, you okay?"

"Mhm. You?"

"I don't believe you." I replied pointedly. "You've been really quiet all night. You're never quiet."

He blinked slowly, taking in a deep breath. "I can be quiet. I am capable of this."

"Fine. Lie to me, whatever." I said spinning around to face the windshield and buckling myself up. I had spent a good half hour crying on Edward's shoulder, opening up to him about how alone I felt and he couldn't even tell me what was wrong, when it was so obvious something was bugging him. Fuck that. I could go back in my shell too if that's how he wanted our relationship to be.

"I hate thinking about you leaving. And not just to the guest house. College, Bella. College... is a new set of fucking problems."

I crinkled my nose, turning to look at him. "Why?"

"Because... what you said... and the leaving. And... I thought." He paused, his brows furrowing. "I thought that we wouldn't have to do the apart thing again, but the way you said it, and how happy you looked..." He shook his head, sighing and looking slightly spaced out.

"I am happy about college." I laughed a little grabbing his hand. "Edward, we get to do this, to start our future without having to worry about sneaking across halls or through windows or sprinting across your parents yard.... wait, why did you say we'd be doing the apart thing again? Who's tearing us apart?"

He looked down at his lap, his voice barely above a whisper. "You. I just assumed that--"

"Me? You assumed what?"

He tucked his chin into his chest, rubbing the back of his neck nervously with one hand. "That you didn't want me to come... with you."

"Pull over Edward." I replied seriously. He glanced up at me, worry in his eyes. He pulled off the main road onto a gravel path. I unbuckled, turning to face him. "Now, why would you assume that?" I replied softly, cupping his jaw with one hand.

"The way you said it. You're just going to... leave. And that scares me. Even if we don't go together... shit could happen, Bella. Anything could happen."

"Like what? Edward, I'm not going anywhere without you." I leaned in closer, sliding into his lap and resting my forehead against his. "Plus, how am I going to become Mrs. Cullen if I leave?" I replied smiling sweetly as my lips hovered over his.

His lips reached for mine and kissed me. I could feel the uncertainty in his kiss, so I pressed mine against his roughly. He had to know how committed to him I was, how committed to us being together and never apart, I was. He pulled away slowly, leaning his head back against the headrest. "I don't know. But I don't want to think about it."

"Yea, you probably shouldn't think about things that are never going to happen, like me leaving you." I paused, grinning before I leaned in to kiss him again. "So have you figured out how to get to the guesthouse yet?" I said, sighing as I leaned my head on his shoulder. "Because, there's no way in hell I'm sleeping alone in there."

He laughed, rolling his eyes. "I'm gonna run across the lawn. Like a ninja."

"Oh god.." I laughed, shaking my head. We sat there wrapped up in each other for a few more minutes before starting back towards Alice's. Alice was visibly upset as she sat on the guest bed, arms crossed over her chest as I grabbed my toiletries from the bathroom.

"I didn't even get to do your makeup... or let you play dress up with my clothes... or paint your toenails... or get a ton of dirt about you and Edward's sex life out of you over s'mores!" She whined bouncing on the bed beside Edward.

"Alice, it's not like I'm moving to Alaska. I'll come and sleep over soon, okay?"

"Hmph. No you won't."

I walked out of the bathroom, tossing my shampoo, and other things haphazardly into my suitcase. "Yes, I will."

"No you won't. You're going to have your quasi-apartment in the back of the Cullen's estate where you won't ever come out and play." She turned, sneering at Edward. "I just want you to know, I'm not letting you steal my best friend. I don't care how much she loves your dick."

My cheeks could not have gotten any redder. Edward just chuckled, running and hand through his hair and glancing up at me but speaking to her. "I dunno, Alice. She loves it a lot."

I huffed, shaking my head. "Not enough to miss it too much when I don't give it up later." I smiled sweetly at him, "you know, practice for the winter vacation with your 'rents." I saw his face fall a little as he murmured, "You said you wouldn't ever say no."

"You didn't ask, therefore it doesn't count if I inform you beforehand."

His eyebrows shot up into his forehead before he turned his body to Alice, his eyes never leaving mine. "Okay, love. Bye Alice. Thanks for taking care of my girl." He said, turning to walk out of the room.

I grinned and tried to ignore the ache in my chest as he walked away. "Guess I was only good for one thing!" I yelled looking at Alice who was shaking, trying to hold back a laugh as she glanced from me to the doorway and back.

"What's that, love?" Edward asked, as his head popped back into the guest room.

"Nothing!" I replied sweetly. "Night baby."

"Are you coming?"

I looked at him completely confused. I thought he was irritated with me. "I thought you were leaving without me?"

His eyes shifted from the floor to me a few times. "Where the fuck would I go without you?" He asked, sounding confused.

"Um... home? "

His expression changed immediately from one of confusion to sadness. "Why aren't you coming?"

I looked from him to Alice and shrugged, sprinting over to him and jumping onto him like a monkey to a tree. My own Edward tree. "Oh, I'll be coming." I whispered into his ear squeezing my legs around his hips. His lips pressed solidly against my neck as he whispered, "That's a given. Say goodnight to Alice."

I lifted my head from his shoulder and yelled without turning around. "NIGHT ALICE!"

I heard her laugh. "Night Bella! And don't forget tomorrow night is the big group date! Come over early and I'll dress you!" I groaned internally and felt Edward begin to move down the hall.

"You're gonna get us out of the date, right?" I murmured as he walked us down the staircase and out the Brandon's front door.

"I can get you out of whatever the fuck Alice is talking about. But it might be nice to go out with our friends, love.''

"But I just want to go out with you." I pouted.

He sighed and dropped me into the seat delicately. "Okay, baby."

I buckled up and watched him run around to the driver's side, hopping in. His hand ran roughly through his hair, staring at the dashboard. "Did... you want to go tomorrow night?" I asked, surprised.

He shrugged, turning his lips into a flat line. "I want to be with you tomorrow night."

"Well, did you want to go? Cuz if you do, we'll go. I'll let Alice know Bella Barbie's at her service."

"I wanna go, but you don't have to be subjected to Alice. Baby, afternoons are the only time I get with you in my bed anymore."

"Tomorrow's Friday though, so you'll see me all afternoon in school before Alice whisks me away." I bit my lip thinking. "Unless..."

"Unless what? Alice can't take you. I need you in my bed."

"Unless we skip school and have a Bella/Edward day date before we meet up with the group?" I suggested.

"Wait... wait. You _want_ to be subjected to Alice?" He questioned. I watched his eyebrows shoot closer to his hairline in shock. I felt the blush spread to my cheeks and my mind flooded with images of how forceful and urgent his actions had been earlier at school, with me in the skirt. "Well... maybe a girl wants to occasionally dress up for her boyfriend. Alice is the master."

"Bella, I want you regardless of what you're wearing. You're fucking hot, Baby. I wish you could see it." He said grabbing my bare thigh and grinning.

I laughed and moved his hand under my skirt, smirking. "Yeah, but what you did today at school... you've never done anything like that before. It was... really hot." I admitted, pulling my lip back into my mouth.

He let out a dry laugh, turning to glance at me out of the corner of his eyes. "Glad you approve."

"Edward, you showing no restraint when it comes to mauling me like you did? I _highly _approve of. Please feel free to do it as much as you want."

His hand slid further up my thigh, twisting down towards my inner thigh and where I wanted him most. "I will."He murmured, his voice low and menacing.

I let out a ragged breath as his thumb dipped under my underwear and rubbed small circles against my clit. I whimpered and I turned to look at him. He gulped loudly and pulled off the main road, burying the hood of his car under a bushy tree. He turned his body towards me, pushing the release button on my seat belt. His thumb continued to push harder against my throbbing clit and I threw my head back moving my hips against his hand. "Unghh..." I panted, looking into his eyes as he moved towards me, his lips hovering over mine.

"What do you want Bella?" He whispered as his lips grazed my mouth and trailed over my cheek. "I want to give you everything you need." He continued, as he laid open mouth kisses down my neck.

"You." I breathed, reaching my hand over his lap and working on his fly.

He lifted his hips and used his free hand to shove his jeans down as I pulled his hard on through the slit of his boxers. My hand gripped his cock firmly, matching the rhythm of his finger inside me.

"You have me Bella. Now show me that I have you." He growled. My breath hitched. I didn't know what it was about this side of him, the possessive side that I loved so much, that turned me on so much; but I couldn't get enough. His thumb slid out of me and tugged roughly on my underwear, tearing them.

"Your mine." He repeated as I moved over the center console and into his lap.

"Yours." I repeated as I pressed my lips to his firmly and sank down onto him. We both let out throaty moans as I felt him fill me completely. Both of his hands ran up my thighs and around to my ass, cupping it as he set the pace. It wasn't slow and patient; it was rough and fast. As if neither of us could stand another minute of being apart. My tongue plunged into his mouth as my hands fisted his hair tightly. He rocked us at an angle so that his shaft slid along my clit on every downward push I had against him. Soon I was teetering on the edge.

"Edward, Edward..." I panted, finally breaking my lips from his and burying my face in his shoulder. "I'm going to cum. Edward, let go with me."

He grunted and starting meeting my thrusts down with an upward movement of his hips, drilling into me deeper and harder. "OH FUCK FUCK!!!!" I screamed into his neck, pulling his hair hard as I felt myself let go and tighten around him. "SHIT!" He groaned as my pussy clamped around his cock. He pushed my hips down firmly and I ground my hips against him as I felt him spill inside me.

I began moving slowly up and down on him, letting my body take as much of him as he was giving. Once he was done, I rolled back off of him and tried matting down my hair as he tucked himself back in his pants. All the while we remained quiet, only giving each other sideways bashful glances and shy smiles.

I beamed all the way home, with my hand resting comfortably on Edward's thigh.

We pulled into the Cullen's driveway and I turned to look at him. "Do I look like I've just been fucked six ways to Sunday by my boyfriend?" I asked worriedly.

I could tell he was biting back a laugh as he shook his head, smirking. "No."

I sighed and bit my lip, pulling down the visor to look in the mirror. He lied. I totally did. I pulled my hair back and twisted it up in a messy ponytail before opening the car door and grabbing my bag. Edward walked around the car and snatched the bag from my hand, kissing my temple. I sighed and reached for his free hand, tangling my fingers around his. I pushed the front door open and we walked inside hand in hand. Carlisle and Esme were sitting in the living room off to the right. "Edward?" Carlisle asked, an accusatory tone in his voice.

Instead of being petrified that we'd gotten caught, he laughed off his father's tone. "Yeah, Dad?"

Carlisle glanced from Edward to me and sighed. "Why don't you both have a seat? We'd like to talk about the new rules in the house."

His eyes went wide and he smirked at me, mimicking his father's words. "Oooooo, rules."

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh as I took a seat on the sofa beside Esme, and Edward sank into the cushion to my left. "Edward I'm serious." Carlisle said pointedly, looking sternly at his son. "There are certain... rules, we all have to follow as Bella is now legally our child."

"Okay." He said with a smirk, glancing over in my direction and winking.

Carlisle continued to peer at his son. "I'm serious Edward. Esme and I met with a social worker today regarding Bella. She informed us that under the circumstances if anything out of the ordinary - and that includes any sexual behavior of any kind - was even suggested, it would be grounds for an investigation and potentially losing her to the state." He sighed looking at me sadly before turning back to Edward. "Is that what you want?"

"Of course not." He stated defiantly. "But who's saying we're sexually active?"

"It seems as though your mother received a rather... frantic call this morning at work from Tanya Fletcher's mother. Something about how Tanya may be pregnant and she confessed to her mother you had something to do with that."

I sat, shocked. What. the fuck. My heart started racing and I did everything I could to put it out of my mind immediately. Of course she was lying. Of course she was. Why would she lie to her own mother? Fuck. What if she wasn't lying?

I turned towards him, my face unable to hide the worry.


	28. Chapter 28

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**EPOV**

Excuse me?

"No, I'm sorry. But absolutely not. If she's knocked up it's definitely not my fault." I looked over at Bella, pleading with her to believe me. There was no way in hell I touched Tanya. No fucking way. "And besides that, she's been in town for what? A month? And we dated for a week, two weeks ago? I dunno, Dad, but that sounds off to me."

I didn't touch her. I knew I didn't touch her.

"I'm not saying it's yours. I know you're smarter than to have unprotected sex. What I _am _saying is that people in this town talk. And if people are already talking about you being a sexual deviant, then it wouldn't be far fetched of them or worse, someone at Social Services to assume you're sleeping with Bella."

Fuck. I hadn't thought about that. What have I done? "So... what does that mean?"

"That means that you and Bella," He started, looking between us both. "Both need to be incredibly careful over the next few months, about your public interactions."

I looked at Bella, "Are you following this?"

She sighed, nodding sadly. "He's saying we have to hide our relationship."

I groaned, "Again?" Fuck, I thought we were over this shit.

"No, not necessarily." My mother started, "What I think your father is trying to say Edward is that go ahead, be friends with Bella. But the... more intimate displays of affection should be kept at a minimum in public."

"Mom, that's crap. You know this is crap. Imagine if someone asked you to act like you _don't _love Dad. Can you even fathom how hard that is? I did it. For too long, I did that. And I'm not doing it again. I won't. And besides, it's not like I molest her face when we go out in public." It was bull shit. Plan and simple. I couldn't let Bellla go though. I needed her with me. There wasn't anywhere else for her.

"Molest her face?" My mother asked, laughing even though she didn't want to. "That's a new one." She composed herself before giving me "We don't want you to hide. But even more, we don't want to lose you, Bella. You have felt like the daughter I never had since you were in diapers. Edward, I understand that you don't want to hide, but I will not let your inability to follow the rules let us lose Bella. You may be in love with her, but we love her too. And if it becomes clear that this rule cannot be followed, we'll need to think of alternate living arrangements - perhaps living with the Brandon's until you both go off to college in August." She paused, making sure I was listening. "This is serious Edward. If they think we're unfit as parents to care for her, they'll pull her from our home immediately and not think twice about placing her with who knows what kind of family, who knows where in Washington."

I sighed, looking at Bella. I couldn't do this to her. I couldn't let my... _shit_ keep her from having a home. She needed this. She needed them. "Okay. Fine. Whatever." I closed my eyes, shaking my head. It felt like I had just sold my soul to the devil. "But either way, Tanya isn't having my baby." I stood up after that and walked away from all of them. I just needed a second to clear my head and forget... everything. I found myself in Bella's room. Smith was curled up on her bed, sleeping soundly. I didn't want to wake him, so I just watched him sleep. It wasn't long before I felt Bella's arms wrap around my waist.

She pressed her lips to my back over my tee shirt. "It'll be okay Edward. I turn 18 in 10 months. We should have sex in front of town hall that day to say 'f-you Forks'." She laughed, rubbing her cheek on my shoulder. "It'll be okay."

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. "Maybe we shouldn't be doing this. Maybe we should wait... until you're eighteen." That broke my heart. Saying the words nearly killed me. But i had to have her near me. I couldn't risk her being moved. She had to understand that.

She dropped her arms from around me, and moved into view. "You don't mean that."

I sighed, "Of course I don't. But Bella, I can't let them take you. I have to do what's best for you, and that's being here. If my reputation, however undeserving jeopardizes that then we have to talk about what's best. I can't let them take you, Bella. I won't."

"What's best for me is you. We can get through this. You were the one that said you didn't like watching me walk away, well the same goes for me. Don't walk away Edward, please." She asked, her eyes brimming with tears.

I cupped her face in my hands brushing my thumbs over her cheeks. "Bella, don't. Please, don't cry. I'm not walking away, Baby. I'm here; right fucking here. I'm never going to leave you. Not ever. I'm just saying that if we have to... cool it for a little while, if it's in your best interest maybe we should. Bella, consider it: if they take you away, there's a very good chance I won't ever see you again." my heart tightened, and I knew I couldn't let that happen. Nothing would keep me from my Bella.

She nodded slowly, her eyes trained at the ground. "Okay."

I leaned in, kissing her softly. "I love you. Forever. Nothing will ever change that, okay?"

Bella nodded again, "So I guess... we have to break up publicly?"

i pulled her into my arms. "No. No. I can't... I can't do that. I can't... with you. Bella..."

It killed me to see the tears still threatening to spill as she spoke. "Edward... think about it. As long as... we're an 'us' people are going to assume things. The only way it'll stop, is if no one thinks we as a unit exist..."

"So just tell them we broke up. Bella... I can't do that with you. I can't do that to you." I kissed the top of her head, and we began rocking slowly.

She sniffed. "Okay."

"I love you, Bella. I promise, I'll love you for the rest of my life."

"Me too Edward. Forever." She pulled away and looked up at me. "So what are we telling people when they ask? Who dumped who?"

I hated this. "You can dump me."

She wiped her cheeks, "If they ask, you cheated. That seems to be the rumor that's going around anyway."

"I was going to say I was gay."

She smiled sadly, shaking her head. "You have a rep of banging anything with a pussy. You all of a sudden being gay would be suspicious."

there wouldn't be anyone but Bella, though. I knew I wasn't going to be able to even enjoy the next year. Fuck. Why couldn't we have more time? "Bella, when you bring home... someone else." Fuck, that stung, "Don't tell me, okay? I... I don't want to know about it." I didn't want to think of anyone else with my girl. Bella was mine. The end.

She furrowed her brow, "Edward, what are you talking about?"

"Well, I'm just saying that if... you wanted someone else, that I'd rather not know about it." Thinking about it made my chest tighten.

She looked to the left and right, then up at me. "Um... I was under the impression that once we got inside this house the breakup was void?"

I pulled her back into me, squeezing her to my chest. "Oh, thank fucking god. Don't you ever scare me like that again, okay? Never. Fuck, Bella."

She laughed into my chest. "You thought..." She looked up at me, a huge fucking grin on her face. "You thought I'd actually start _dating_?" Then she laughed at me.

"Shut up it's not fucking funny," I said, smiling back at her. "This whole situation is so fucked up."

"So... I guess this means our group date is over?"

I sighed, "And pressing you up against the lockers."

She pouted as she bit her lip, then smiled up at me. "You did miss the one shining star moment of the conversation when you came up here."

I kissed her nose. "I did?"

"Mhm. Your dad said that if everything started blowing over, i.e. we behaved like nothing more than foster siblings-slash-friends, that they may reconsider letting me live in this room. As a sort of reward." She said soothingly, reaching up to cup my jaw. "I really believe they're trying to understand how hard this is for us right now."

i leaned my head to her shoulder. "I hope so. I only just got you, Bella. This isn't fair."

"I know." She sighed, her fingers tugging at my hair. "But you'll always have me, so in the grand scheme of a lifetime this is nothing more than tiny blip."

"You're right. I know you are. Baby, tell me you love me."

"I love you Edward." She whispered, pressing a kiss to my temple.

I squeezed her tighter. "No matter what?"

"No matter what."

"Stay with me? Let's take a nap or something."

Bella nodded. "Should we... in the living room? So your parents don't freak out."

"Fuck that." I said, nuzzling the side of her neck.

"Edward..."

"Bella..." I said, mocking her tone.

She sighed again, running her hands over my back. "Fine, but I'm not taking my top off - and we're leaving the door unlocked."

I loved how we were fucking celibate all of a sudden. She moved toward the bed, and I followed slowly. "You have to at least take your bra off. And your jeans."

"Bra, but not jeans." She said, removing her bra with out letting me see her tits.

I pushed her down on the bed, then started undoing my jeans. "Then you're sleeping with a half naked Edward."

"Tease."

I kicked off my jeans and crawled on top of her. "I have to give you up for most of the day. I absolutely refuse to do it in my home."

"But... what about your parents? You heard what they said..." She breathed, arching her hips up into mine.

"I won't tell," I murmured, grazing my teeth along the delicate skin of her neck. "Will you?"

"lock the door." She whispered.

I grinned into her skin. "Let them see."

She pushed me back, "Edward, if you want my jeans off and me naked in this bed you're going to lock the door because I can guarantee if you parents walk in on us you and I will _never _be having sex again."

I pulled away a little, smirking at her. "You're just a little vixen, aren't you?"

She looked at me pointedly "no, i'm a teenager that's scared of getting caught fucking her boyfriend by his parents; now lock the door so I can ride you before I'm banished from this building."

I leaned in, kissing her slowly and letting my tongue swipe against her lips. She had just opened them when I pulled away, hovering above her. "I love you, Bella." I hopped off of her, and clicked the lock before switching off the light.

She undressed and I found her under the covers when I came back to the bed. "Shutting the lights. Good call."

I laughed, pulling the covers back and climbing on top of her again. "Why? Are you suddenly worried I don't like your body?"

She shook her head and laughed. "No, but the lights off gives them one less reason to check on us here."

I shifted my body inbetween her legs. "Where did you tell them you went?"

She was kissing along my neck as she spoke. "To see Angela."

I inched her underwear down slowly. "And they didn't hear you pull away?"

She rolled her eyes. "Really Edward? You'd think I was a novice... I parked your car a few blocks down the road."

"Shit, Baby." I moaned, rubbing my hard on into her core. "What have I done to you?"

She moaned into my ear, her hands clutching at my back. "You evidently weren't paying attention to me before everything happened." She breathed, grinding into me. "Police Chiefs' daughters are usually worst than the rest." Then she sunk her teeth into my neck.

I moaned, slipping into her quickly, "Well. We haven't exactly been on the best of terms, love."

She arched into me and whimpered, "I know... can we not... talk so much.." She asked, panting.

I started moving in and out of her, picking up my pace with every thrust. "Why? You love it when I talk to you." Fuck, it was hard to do this... actually speak to Bella, and be inside her. But fuck if I didn't want to try. I dropped one hand to her hip to anchor myself as I plowed into her a little harder. "Might help keep the noise down."

She curled one hand around my neck and another behind her in the pillow. "Edward... fuck. Faster..." She moaned.

So I did. I went hard and fast, drilling into her over and over again into her, until I knew I couldn't take it any more. I leaned into her, pushing my face into the crook of her neck. "Cum for me, Bella."

That was all I said, and it worked like a fucking charm. Bella came hard and fast all over my cock, her body arching off the bed as she clung to me. I shot my load deep inside of her soon after, my breath coming out ragged against her skin. My favorite part of the day: Being with Bella.

**BPOV**After a while, Edward distracted his parents while I snuck out of the house and reentered, walking into the living room where all 3 of them were sitting like a big happy family watching  
something on the Discovery Channel.

"Bella, you're back early. I assumed you'd be gone most of the evening." Esme replied, smiling up at me. A twinge of guilt ran through me as I sat down in one of the arm chairs. Edward threw me a confused look and patted on the cushion beside him on the sofa. I shook my head smiling up at Esme who had turned to face us.

"So, what were you thinking for your room? Have you even seen the spare cottage? It's beautiful. It's practically like having your own little apartment." I shook my head politely. "No, I've never been back there."

"Well - the way it is now is very plain. I was thinking we could go with a pattern and build around that or--"

"I think that I'll move out there," Edward said, interrupting Esme and turning towards his father. "It's not fair for Bella."

"Edward," Carlisle interjected sternly. "What're you--"

At his tone, Edward's gaze flickered to the TV as he spoke. "She's had enough change. She needs you more. Let her stay upstairs, and I'll go in the back."

"Edward that's very nice of you, but the decision has been made. Bella? Are you alright being out there?" Esme asked softly, turning her gaze from her son to me. I nodded, taking a breath. "Yea. I'm just glad you guys still want me." I said laughing sadly and looking down at my lap.

Carlisle moved slightly, patting my knee. "Of course we want you, Bella. And maybe someday, if things are as the two of you say, we might see you become our daughter officially." He replied, a genuine smile spread over his face.

I felt my heart swell at his words and glanced at Edward out of the corner of my eye, who was actually smiling. "I'm looking forward to that very much Mr. Cullen."

From my peripheral vision I saw Edward leaning over, towards me. His lips ghosted over my cheek as he whispered into my ear, "You're only allowed to call _me_ Mr. Cullen."

I blushed and looked down at the space between us. When I finally glanced back up Esme was looking at me with a warm smile. "Carlisle, I think you may have been wrong about these two. I think this is the real thing for them. Look at how happy they look." I felt my cheeks flush an even deeper shade of red and bit my lip nervously.

When I looked up Edward was grinning at me with a dopey grin plastered on his face. I smiled shyly back up at him and he winked before turning back to his parents and pulling away slightly. "Now that we feel like a side show..."

"Bella dear, why don't I show you to your new living space?" Esme offered, standing up. "Edward, can you grab Bella's things that you two brought home today? Everything else is over there already."

Edward moved to stand, offering me a hand which I took. He pulled me up and kissed my lips softly, resting his forehead against mine. "I'll meet you out there." He whispered

I blushed at his public affection and nodded, looking over at Esme who looked like she was about to burst with joy. I laughed internally and followed her outside.

It was further than I remembered it looking, but still close enough to where I could see inside the kitchen window from my new living room area. Esme had just giving me a small tour of the quaint kitchen, living room, bedroom and bath by the time Edward had come inside.

"So what do you think?" Esme asked, looking at me expectantly. I smiled in thanks, "it's amazing Esme. Thank you again for letting me stay here."

"Nonsense. Thank you for being so accommodating. I'm sure Edward didn't make it easy." She said turning to glare at her son with slightly pursed lips.

"Why do you always blame me?" He accused, dropping the bags in the hallway.

"Oh, so you didn't do ANYTHING to coerce Bella to change her mind about staying here?" She asked putting her hands on her hips. I tried to hide the laugh that busted out, but the room was too quite and she spun around grinning at me. "He wants to pretend his own mother doesn't know him." She stated, scoffing playfully.

He smirked, shaking his head. "I didn't do anything."

"Mhmm, right." Esme replied, shaking her head. "But you two sit, I have something I want to talk to you about something without your father here." I peered over at Edward, who shrugged and looked just as confused as I was. We took seats beside each other on the sofa bed and Esme sat in the recliner that faced the coffee table.

"Now while I don't necessarily think you two should be living across the hall from each other, that doesn't mean I agree with the decision being made. However, for the protection of keeping Bella in this family this is the best solution." She began. Edward took my hand in his, resting it on his knee as we both looked at her to go on.

"With that said, I don't like the idea of you Bella, being alone here all night every night. So, if on occasion Edward you came to check on her and slept on the sofa I might be willing to turn a blind eye. BUT!" She continued quickly. "If I see, hear or find out about anything less innocent than that going on, Carlisle's rules go back into full effect. Understood?" She asked looking from him to me and back.

"And please invite your friends over to spend the night as much as you'd like Bella. I really don't like the idea of you being so isolated from everyone." She said, looking at me with slight regret at her decision. I nodded and saw Edward doing the same out of the corner of my eye.

"Thank you Esme. Again... for everything." I said, following her lead as she stood. "Of course dear." She pulled me into a warm embrace and I hugged her tightly. "Now don't make me regret giving you this extra leeway." She said looking solely at Edward.

"C'mon, Mom. Do you honestly think I'd let anything happen to her?"

"It's not anything outside of this room I'm worried about..." She said, looking at him pointedly.

His eyebrows arched inquisitively as he glared right back. "Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? Aside from the whole secretly falling in love with Bella thing?"

"Exactly. It makes a wonder what else about the relationship you're hiding." She said with an accusatory tone in her voice as she arched an eyebrow

"What do you mean, what else? What do you think? Bella's pregnant?" He asked, laughing as if this were all one big joke that I wasn't in on.

"Should I have a reason to believe you two have been doing things that would put her in that state?"

"No, that's the point!" He exclaimed, his laughter doubling in volume at her insinuation.

She remained stoic looking from him to me. I of course, gave it all away with the severe blush I had glued to my skin. "Well, that's enough of my questioning. I don't need any gray hairs from having this conversation." She stated. "Edward, why don't you go upstairs and change. I want to have a little chat with Bella."

He placed a kiss on her cheek and grinned. "Love you, Mom."

"Mhmm.." She hummed as if she didn't fully believe him. "Love you too Edward." Once Edward had left she turned to me and sat back down.

"I really hope you're using birth control." She said calmly, letting out a soft laugh. How the fuck do you respond to that?

"Umm..."

She laughed a little louder patting my hand. "Bella, I'm not dumb. Please don't start acting like Edward and thinking that I don't know what's going on in my own house." I tensed up and puffed out my cheeks nodding slowly as I exhaled.

"So, you're using protection?"

I felt my cheeks relight on fire as I nodded.

"Good. And he didn't pressure you, right? I worry about him and about the things I've heard from parents at PTA meetings." I shook my head, smiling. "No, no pressure."

"Good, I'm glad." She paused, her shoulders straightening a bit as she sat up. "I know Edward sees this separation as a joke or punishment but it's really not. I mean, if you and he had started dating months ago you'd be living separately. I hope you can understand where Carlisle and I are coming from." I nodded again. "I do." I replied, smiling up at her. "I like that you act like parents. It's... comforting." I said honestly. "As much as it kinda sucks at the same time." I continued, laughing a little.

She smiled and let out a puff of air that sounded like a laugh. "I'm glad to hear that. Hopefully you can rub some of that optimism on Edward. He doesn't seemed too thrilled right now."

"He's acting just like I would be, if my parents were still here." Her face softened at my words and she rubbed my arm affectionately. "Your parents are looking out for you, you know that don't you?" I nodded, feeling the familiar tightening in my throat. "I know." I squeaked out. She sighed and stood up, leaning over to give me another hug.

"Do you need anything else?" She asked, moving towards the door. I shook my head. "No thank you." She nodded and opened the door. Edward was pacing in front of the door in his pj pants and a hoodie. I laughed to myself, thinking that this was the first time I'd actually seen him wear pants to bed. He moved inside, kissing his mother on the cheek again before shutting the door.

"You okay?" He asked, reaching to cup my cheeks between his hands.

"She's knows we're fucking. She called me out on it." I said, still a little stunned from the conversation.

"Oh, God." He muttered, his eyes widening and his jaw dropping slightly.

I nodded and pointed at his reaction. "See that - that is the look I had."

His face blanched and he ran a hand over his chin nervously. "So... so what does this mean?"

"She actually seemed okay with it once she asked if we were using protection." I paused rethinking my wording. "Well, maybe not _okay _with it but... accepting. She didn't seem upset." I laughed recollecting the conversation in my head. "Actually, she seemed more pissed that you were trying so hard to hide it."

"Well, everyone thinks I'm a slut. I'd rather my mother didn't."

"Well she made mention of what parents say about you at PTA conferences." I joked, tugging at his hand and pulling him towards the couch. "I'm not sure if the mothers were talking about their own experience with you or their daughters." I teased.

He took a deep breath and nodded solemnly. "Yeah."

I sighed, looking at how frazzled he looked. "Are you okay? Should I have not told you?"

"Told me what? I'm fine."

"That your mom knows we're having sex." I looked at him with furrowed brows. "And no, you're not fine. You haven't tried to even touch my arm and it's been like ten minutes. Should I go in the other room?"

His hand slapped against my thigh and his gripped around my flesh with his fingertips. "No, it's fine. I just hate that everybody thinks I'm a whore. Including my mother, apparently. Bella, do you have any idea how embarrassing that is?"

I sighed, cupping his jaw with one hand and looking him directly in the eyes. "Your mom doesn't think you're a whore, Edward. Sleeping with your girlfriend does not make you a slut." I paused kissing the place between his eyebrows. "Plus I don't think you're a whore."

"Bella, you saw the look on her face when she asked me if you were pregnant. She assumed we were having sex because it's me. And you thought I was up until very recently."

"Yes, but I stand corrected. And your mom probably was just going based off of how much I was blushing when she asked it in the first place. I really think that as my guardian she would be trying to keep me as far from you as possible if she thought you were a man-whore."

His facial expression completely contorted and his eyes sparkled with uncertain hope. "You think?"

I nodded and smiled, kissing his lips softly. "I'm positive Edward. She would not allow you to spend the night on the sofa down here if she didn't trust that you weren't whoring it up all over Forks. And she certainly would be trying to respect my parents enough to keep me away from you if she really felt you were bad for me... in that way." I sighed kissing him quickly. "She loves you. She trusts you."

"Who said I was sleeping on the couch?"

I smirked. "She did."

"What does Bella say? Baby, are you scared?" He grinned playfully, taking a step closer to me.

"I'm petrified." I murmured, kissing down his neck. "So if you sleep on the sofa, so do I."

He chuckled, kissing my temple and rubbing his hands along my back. "Yeah, that's what I thought. I have to protect you, Baby."

"Opinion on clothing?" I mumbled, burying my face in the crook of his neck and sliding my hand under his hoodie.

"What if there's a fire? We'll burn to a crisp." He stated, as if that were a legit threat. He made quick work of tossing off his sweatshirt without needing to move much.

I giggled, sliding off my sweater and unclasping my bra as I moved to straddle him. "And pants?" I breathed against his lips

"What a stupid invention."

My lips found his and I arched myself up so he could slide them down. He removed them quickly, kicking them off when they were at his ankles. I took the time to twist myself to the side and quickly dispose of mine as well, letting them fall to the floor beside his before crawling back over him. His hands palmed my ass as I brushed my throbbing core against his tip. We both let out a quiet moan at the sensation, as I slowly slid down onto him. His mouth reached for my bottom lip and pulled it in, sucking softly as I moved up and down on his shaft in hard deliberate movements. The pace was driving Edward mad; I could tell by the way he was grunting and squeezing my ass, digging his fingertips into my flesh.

I picked up the pace, rolling my hips against him. I still couldn't get over how well we fit together, like we were meant to do this - to be like this. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and bit down roughly, eliciting a growl from his throat. His hands began palming my ass harder, trying to move me faster against him. "Baby, you're driving me and my cock crazy. I need to feel you cum." I moaned against his skin, clawing at the top of his spine with my fingernails as I moved faster. One of his hands slid between us, rubbing quick circles against my clit. It wasn't long before I felt the familiar tightening let go and I thrust my body down against his shaft as hard as I could cumming around his throbbing cock. The movement must have taken him by surprise because he didn't even pump in and out once more before I felt him let go deep inside me, my name spilling from his lips in reverence.

We both sat there, panting into each others' damp skin, trying to catch our breaths. We were clinging onto each other like we were all we would ever need.

And in that moment I knew that was true.

Edward was all I would ever need.


	29. Chapter 29

*knock knock* Hey Kella kels? You home?

Yesssssssum! Hi there Bellerz! :)

HI :D Missed you tons!

Me too, long time no talk. Hey do you wanna tell the folks about the new greatness that is hellabellakellas?

YES! Mmmk, peeps listen up: hellabellakellas is kel's and my new acct. here on this loverly site. That's where you can find all our collab. shit from now on. So, read this, review it, then mosey over there so you can add it to your alerts. Not only will all of out one shots be there, but also any other multi-chap fics we do. So... should we tell them what's up first? ;)

Right, so despite dreaming about owning these characters, we still don't. We only own the citrus we write about them. SMeyer owns the characters outright and a good portion of our souls. Which I think is a better deal, than us owning our own since she's mormon and all.

Dude, for a hot minute I thought you wrote moron :P

you WOULD think that... sheesh :P

Heyyy... I can't help it if I can't hear shit :P But shouldn't we let these fine people read our stuff?

Def, so just to reiterate what Bels said: please read, review then go take a peek at our collab account hellabellakellas :) Thanky!

* * *

**EPOV**

I woke up the next morning, my hands searching for Bella through the sheets. But I didn't find her. My eyes shot open, and I sat straight up. "Bella?" I called, my still not quite awake eyes adjusting poorly to the dim morning light. She popped out of the bathroom a second later and hopped back into bed beside me.

"Lie down," She said as she tugged on my shoulder. "We still have almost two hours before the alarm."

I leaned back slowly, and pulled her against my chest. "So today's the day, huh?"

"Yeah, but for the next two hours, let's pretend it isn't." She groaned, nuzzling her face into my neck.

I laughed, closing my eyes and kissing her hair. "I really, really don't like it when you leave me alone in bed."

"Hate to break it to you, but girls pee Edward." She informed me, laughing against my skin.

"I pee too, but you don't see me leaving you cold and lonely."

She pushed her legs carefully in between mine, and I felt her knee slide up my inner thigh. Guh. "I'm sorry. I'll try to make sure to only use the bathroom when you're around other people and warm." She teased.

"Thank you," I mumbled. "That's very considerate of you."

Bella laughed into my neck, planting a soft kiss there. "Your parents probably won't let us skip today will they? Perhaps a joint case of 24 hour flu?"

I laughed sleepily, "I highly doubt they'll believe that, love. But, it's worth a shot."

"Mmk. You call them then." She murmured in her best 'i'll fuck you hard if you call' voice.

I groaned, burying my face in her hair. "You call them. They like you better."

"No they don't." She paused, undoubtedly forming her diabolical plan. "I'll go down on you if you call them."

"Hand me the fucking phone and go make vomit noises."

She laughed and fished my phone out of my hoodie, slapping it into my hand. "Phase one complete." She squealed, flying out of bed and into the bathroom.

I rolled onto my back and dialed the house as I rubbed my eyes.

"Hello?" My mother answered, sounding chipper as ever.

"Mom? Bella's puking and I feel like shit. Call us out?"

She scoffed, "Honestly Edward. I bet the chances of you two being sick are about as big as the chance that you aren't laying in Bella's bed right now. How's that for calling you out?"

I scoffed back at her and silently shifted out of Bella's bed. "I'm not in her bed. Mommy... my tummy hurts."

"Mhm. I thought Bella was the one puking?"

I sighed, getting slightly frustrated. "She is, listen." I held the phone toward the bathroom, where it sounded like Bella had a cat stuck in her throat. "Stay strong, love," I hollered before putting the phone back to my ear. "And I told you I wasn't feeling well."

"Well," She sighed, pretending to take me seriously for a minute. "You sound fine to me. Why don't you both try going to school and see how you feel. Oh and tell Bella that furballs are a necessary evil when you have long hair like she does." She added, laughing to spite me.

I rolled my eyes, getting back into bed. "Mom? Seriously, you don't really think I'm a slut do you?" I felt like I was six again, asking my mother why Jasper's parents liked to play leap frog naked.

"No. I think you're a 17 year old boy with a beautiful girlfriend." She paused and her voice dropped to a low, soothing tone. "You're a good kid Edward - most of the time."

I hung my head, mumbling into the phone. "I'm sorry."

She laughed, "You know, if the circumstances were different your father and I would probably already be picking out a china pattern for you two. It's always a mother's dream to see her son fall in love with her best friend's daughter."

I looked up and Bella was leaning against the door frame, arms folded across her chest. "We can still have a china pattern. It just sucks that there's all this crap to deal with."

She hummed happily into the phone. "Soon enough dear, no need to rush things. You two both have your entire lives to worry about all of that." I could her hear pouring coffee for my dad before she came back to me, the stern tone back in her voice. "But I wasn't kidding, you and Bella better be at school and on time for it today. You have to keep your hormones in check Edward, there's too much at stake right now."

I laughed lightly, "Ironically I don't think it's me you have to worry about. We'll be up in a while."

I clicked the phone shut and slumped back down in bed. "She said no, Bella."

Bella shrugged, coming back to bed. "Yeah, it didn't sound like it was going well."

I rolled onto my side, burrowing under the covers. "I don't want to do this, you know. This is the last thing I want."

She slid in behind me, and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I know, but we graduate in May and we'll leave early for college and spend the summer making up for these months of crappiness."

I ran my hands over her arms, pressing them into my skin. "Promise?"

She kissed my shoulder blade and I felt her nod against me. "Promise."  
**  
**She sat with me like that for a second before turning me onto my back. She grinned evilly down at me. "I think it's time for your reward."

I smiled back and her before kissing her deeply. I fucking loved my girl. She was the fucking shit and no one else would ever be better. Bella kissed her way down my body, glad that she'd hid my underwear last night.

Bella was breathing heavily against my hard on, and I swear to fucking god I thought I would die right then. "Bella..." I moaned, thrusting my hard on up toward her. "Please..."

She giggled a little, then gripped the base. "See? No more teasing."

Then her mouth was on me. It had been way too long. "Fuck, Bella..." I moaned, my fingers twisting in her hair as my eyes snapped shut.

She bobbed slowly up and down my length, taking her time and swirling her tongue around my length. So fucking perfect. I started to gently thrust my hips up into her mouth and she moaned against me.

"Shit, Baby... I fucking love your mouth on me."

She hummed, and sucked me all the way in before coming back up, pressing her tongue against the vein on the underside of my shaft. That shit did me in.

"FUCK!" I yelled, thrusting my hips deep into her hot little mouth as I came.

Once I was done Bella cleaned me up, and kissed her way back up my body. I cupped her face in my hands and looked up into her eyes. "Forever."

She nodded, smiling gently. "Forever," she agreed, resting her head against my shoulder.

We laid like that for a short while longer, before finally getting into the shower. We dressed slowly and separately. It felt distinctly like we were headed to the firing squad. This was the beginning of the end, and it fucking sucked. I took Bella's hand as we walked up to the house, where we found toast waiting in the kitchen. I grabbed mine and took our shit to the car. The last thing I needed was an awkward conversation. The last thing I needed, really, was having everyone thinking that Bella wasn't mine. I sighed, leaning my head against the steering wheel. Why? Just... why.

I heard Bella get in a few seconds later and I sat up, starting the car. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

I drove slowly through the streets, and neither one of us said a word until I felt Bella's hand on mine. "How are we going to do this?" She asked, her voice apprehensive.

I shook my head. "I don't know."

Bella let out a heavy sigh as I pulled into the parking lot. Then she turned to me and said, seriously: "Say something to piss me off, otherwise this is never going to work."

I looked warily at the people already crowded around their cars, "Bella, I--"

"No seriously Edward. If you don't say something to make me mad, I'm going to get out of this car beaming a kilowatt smile because I made my boyfriend, the hottest man to have ever lived, cum in under 5 minutes not even an hour ago."

"Hey, it's not my fault your mouth is made of win."

"Edward... come on." She lamented, turning to look back out of the windshield.

I sighed, turning off the car then running my hand through my hair. "I fucked the maid, Bella. Fucked her hard."

She laughed a little, "One, you don't have a maid. Two, so what?" She whispered, leaning her cheek against my shoulder so she was speaking into my ear. "I fuck you better."

I smiled a little, leaning my head against hers. "Yeah, you do. I feel like I should mark you before we go in."

"Meet me in the Janitor's closet before 3rd period?"

"Well, yeah. Or wait... No. Will it make you mad if I say no?"

She pulled away and unbuckled her seat belt. "Edward, be there. And no, it won't make me mad. Maybe I'll just ask Mike instead." I growled and Bella raised an eyebrow. "See, wasn't difficult to think of something. So SAY something!"

"I like Tanya's tits better than yours." I said, smirking before I got out of the car.

Yeah. Third period would be fun. I'd better not have to pry Newton off of my girl though.

Epic Fucking Win.

**BPOV**I clenched my jaw. I knew it wasn't true, at least I HOPED it wasn't true. But nevertheless it riled me up enough to get me going and be able to go through with this fucking sham of a breakup. I jumped out of Edward's car slamming the door hard as I hurriedly brushed past him, readjusted my backpack and hitting him with it as I walked towards where everyone was gathered.

Angela and Alice looked to one another with confusion as I approached them. "Bella...?" Angela said slowly, asking a lot more than came out of her mouth. "Hey guys." I said roughly. Rosalie looked from me then who I assumed was Edward as he approached us. "What the fuck did you do to her?" She snapped without provocation.

He shook his head, scoffing. "Why do you bother?"

"He didn't do ANYTHING." I growled, looking up at her. "Now shut the fuck up Rose, I'm in NO mood for your bitchiness this early in the morning." She looked at me wide eyed and huffed. It was amazing how easily defending Edward to Rosalie came to me now. It was second nature. It was instinct to protect him.

I grabbed Alice's hand and tugged her towards the building while everyone else just stood there.

"Bella? Bella? Bella!" She said, finally planting her feet into the ground as we made it just inside the building. I looked at her my eyes wide as I chanted his words, and dredged up the visual of Tanya hovering over him in his car. Soon I felt the tears pricking my eyelashes. "Bella..." Alice's voice was much softer as she wrapped her arms around me and she ran her hand up and down my back.

I wished I didn't have to lie to her, but if not everyone knew, not everyone would eventually know. We walked in silence towards my locker. "Bella, you know even Jasper and I fight --"

"He cheated on me." I blurted out and I was surprised at how honest that sounded.

"He did what?" She asked, leaning her head closer towards me.

"He cheated."

"On you?"

"Obviously."

"No. No." She said adamantly, shaking her head. "I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding. You two will talk it out--"

"It's not a misunderstanding. He admitted it."

She looked at me completely bewildered before I felt her arms wrapping around me again, tightly. "Bella, hunny... I'm so sorry. Do you wanna ditch and do chick flicks and pints of ice cream at my house?" She offered, pulling away and looking up at me. I shook my head slowly, smiling a little. "No, it's okay. I just... I want to forget Edward ever existed."

She nodded sympathetically and laced her arm with mine, slowly pulling us down the hall. Today was going to be bullshit on ice.

By the end of first period, the halls were abuzz over who Edward had fucked. The usual suspects' names were thrown around, Jessica... Tanya... evidently high school students weren't very original. I felt my chest tighten as I approached biology and slid as discretely as I could onto the chair beside Mike.

"Hey." He murmured, leaning over to whisper against my hair where it had fallen, surrounding my face. I moved the hair behind my ear. "Hey."

"I heard about you and Edward. For what it's worth he's the biggest idiot of all time to do that to someone like you." I curved my lips into a half smile. "Thanks Mike." He nodded and turned back towards the front of the class.

I tried being stealthy and sneaking a glance back towards Edward, but his eyes were locked in my direction and I felt my breath hitch as I spun around quickly. Mike heard my gasp and looked over at me then back towards Edward, I followed his movement and noticed Edward's head shoot down towards his notebook.

And we had to do this for 6 more months?

Ass.

**EPOV**

Yeah, this really fucking sucked.

Newton was completely checking out my chick, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. Balls. Mad fucking balls. I stormed out of bio, and smashed right into Emmett.

"Hey, Bitchface, watch where you're going."

"Sorry, Em."

"Rough morning?" He asked, shoving his way through the crowd.

"You could say that. Bella and I--"

"Broke up, I heard." He sighed, leaning a little too close for comfort. "Wanna let you know, I'm not buying it."

I got really flustered then, "Wh-- Em, I cheated on her. She dumped me."

He chuckled, "Yeah? With who?"

"Everyone."

"Uh huh. Okay, Edward. Whatever you say. Be nice at lunch."

I sighed, and headed toward the janitor's closet. Bella tugged me in before I even had a chance to knock. I wrapped her in my arms, and breathed in her scent before letting my lips kiss their way up to meet hers. "For the record, your tits are fantastic Love."

I felt her smile under my lips, and it only made me want to kiss her more. Her lips were so fucking perfect. "And for the record, you're the only person I'll ever want to share this closet with." She murmured. She was so close I could feel her lips moving against mine as she spoke.

I laughed, then kissed her slowly. "We could make this fun." I whispered, nuzzling her nose with mine.

Bella hummed against me. "I'm listening..."

"We could... like, if we just like made a big game out of it, a real one." I kissed her again because I couldn't taste her anymore. "I'll sneak a touch, maybe cop a feel here and there."

She pulled away with the cutest fucking pout of all time. "Edward I have to essentially go all day without you. And you want to squander the few minutes in between classes we do have playing a game where you barely touch me?" Shae asked, looking slightly put out.

I laughed, kissing her again. "No, love. When we're out there. Because I can't be that far apart from you. I miss you too much."

"Oh.." She replied, "You're a fucking genius." She informed me before launching herself at me with a huge smile on her face.

I held her tightly to me, sighing into her skin. "You know what would make it even better?"

"What?"

"Get the fuck back to my lab table. Please."

Bella laughed, twisting her fingers into my hair. "Isn't that kind of backwards? Asking me to be your lab partner after everyone thinks we've broken up?"

I kissed my way down the v-neck of her shirt. "Baby, how the hell am I going to touch you if you're next to fucknewton?"

"I'm fully accessible in the halls and at lunch."

"I want you in bio. How am I going to learn biology otherwise?" I asked, smirking into her skin.

"Duh Edward." She rolled her eyes. "After school on-bed lab work, obviously."

I laughed, "Obviously. How was your morning?"

"Pre-school? Awesome. Since arriving? Mediocre at best. Edward I don't know..." Bella trailed off and looked down at the space between us. "I don't know if I can do this - not be with you."

I curled my fingers under her chin and tilted her face up. "We don't have to. We can 'get back together'. Baby, I want you to be happy. We don't have to do this."

"But will they take me away from you? Edward... I can't... they can't..." Her voice was so small and broken that it almost fucking killed me.

I held her close to my chest, rocking her gently. "No one will ever take you from me, Bella. I won't let them. We belong together." I took a deep breath, trying to keep my own emotions under control. "Baby, we can do whatever you want. What if we tell them you aren't sleeping with me because I cheated?"

"I'm not sleeping with you but I'm still with you?" She pulled away, her eyes boring deeply into mine. "No."

I laughed, kissing her nose. "Yes, Love. People do it all the time."

"Edward if you cheated on me, we'd be over. All of it would be over."

My face fell, "But I didn't."

She smiled and pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth. "I know. But I'm saying we shouldn't risk it. Either we're together in public or we aren't. No halfway."

"Then we can do this. There's nothing to worry about this time. I want you and you want me, we just can't... be together right now."

She nodded and pulled herself back against me. "We're gonna have to think of a schedule then."

I ran my hands over her back gently, "For what?"

"Well we can't keep missing 3rd period." She laughed.

I nodded, "I know. Well, we can leave early. And then Lunch; that might be too obvious, though. What if I just grab at you randomly through out the day?"

"Yeah but it's your mouth I'm gonna miss the most." She told me, cuddling closer.

I placed a lingering kiss on her temple. "I'm no one's but yours."

"I know. I just don't like that you can't maul me against the lockers anymore." She grinned. I knew my girl liked that shit.

I laughed, "Well, I can always just force you up against something else."

"Unless your planning on driving us somewhere so we can fuck in your car, I suggest you stop putting those kinds of thoughts in my head while we're in a position to do nothing about it."

I sighed, moving back down her neck. "Okay. We can still make it back in time for the end of third, if you want."

She shook her head then tilted her face up to look at me. "no... no way in hell."

I kissed her slowly, "Okay, love. Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."

"Good, me either." She leaned in and kissed me lazily. "I love you."

"Love you. We'll be okay, Bella. I promise."

**BPOV**We continued to make out in the closet until just before the bell rang. Edward slipped out first, with me following. This was going to... not be so good. I could already feel it as I made my way down to the cafeteria to meet up with everyone. I wasn't sure how to hide how I felt with Edward in front of everyone... _right there _for 45 minutes. I felt an arm sneak around my waist and for a split second I thought Edward had changed his mind about us breaking up; that was until I felt the clammy hand slide under the hem of my shirt. I turned to look up seeing Mike's dopey grin. I tried to smile, but I felt like it looked more like it came out as a wince.

"Hey Mike."

"Hey Bella, I figured you prolly wouldn't want to sit next to Edward today... or ever. Why don't we sit together, over there?" He asked nudging his head toward an empty table on the otherside of the cafeteria from where my friends were. I smiled as best I could and shook my head. "Thanks for the offer, but I'm gonna go sit with my friends and just... try to ignore him or something." Yes, ignoring would be key so I didn't maul him in front of the student body.

He shrugged and led me over the where all my friends were sitting. "Then I'll sit with you and help you get through it. It can't be easy... the first day back at school, especially with what everyone's been saying about how he cheated." I shrugged, trying to play it off. "Yeah, it sucks but I don't really listen to it. I know what happened.." or didn't happen for that matter. We sat down at the round table, me between Angela and Mike and Alice on the other side of him. Edward's jaw was clenched as he glared at me from across the table and I felt my heart flutter.

"Hey Mike." Angela greeted, leaning over the table to look around me at him. He smiled and lifted his sandwich in response.

Edward's eyes and mood seemed to shift instantly as he turned to Emmett. "Did you know they bought us new aluminum bats for this season?"

I sighed, and plucked at the limp sandwich on my tray, staring intently at it while trying to watch Edward out of the corner of my eye. After a few moments I felt Angela wrap her arm around me, pulling me to her side. "I still can't believe it..." She replied softly, shaking her head. "All of us thought..." she trailed off looking from Edward to me. "I'm sorry." I shrugged and shifted my eyes back down to the table.

"It's okay. It'll be okay." Mike pipped up, interrupting our intimate conversation. "Bella just needs a rebound."

Edward's jaw clenched and his eyes remained fixated on my face as he continued to speak to Em. "You can really hear the bone crunch when you get hit with one of those suckers."

I bit my lip, trying to hide my smile as my eyes met Edward's. "I uh... I'm not ready for a rebound yet." I said, breaking my gaze from Edward to look at Mike.

"Well no...I mean... not now... of course, when you're ready... and I wasn't-- I didn't mean..." He stammered out hopelessly. My eyes widened and I bit the inside of my lip to keep from laughing as he back peddled.

"I think, maybe you were right about not being able to eat here. I'm gonna go eat in the hall." I replied, standing and grabbing my sandwich.

"I'll come--"

I shook my head, interrupting him silently. "No, stay here. I'm just gonna..." I said pointing towards the doors and sneaking a quick glance at Edward who was chit chatting away with Emmett about bats, while keeping his eyes locked on me.

I spun around and walked out of the lunch room.

This was going to be harder than I thought.

**EPOV**

I stared after Bella, then back at Newton. "Why the fuck are you here?"

Alice gasped, and swatted me, "Edward!"

"Because she needs to know that not every guy who likes her will hurt her."

I pursed my lips and let out a low whistle. "And you... hm, you think that's you?" I laughed, leaning back in my chair. "That's why you told her you believed that she had something to do with her parent's death? No, that didn't hurt at all, right?"

Emmett's eyes narrowed but I held him back. Newton didn't fit, and he needed to lay the fuck off my girl.

"I thought she knew about the rumor, one. And two, at least I didn't ram it into some other girl to show how much I cared." Mike the scum bucket said bitterly.

"Ouch, Newton, that stung. But at least _I_ got to kiss her goodnight. Everynight." I stood up and slapped Emmett's shoulder. "Take care of him."

Then I walked away. It didn't take me long to find Bella, as she was sitting with her sandwich just outside the door. I held my hand out to her. "Take a walk with me?"

Bella smiled up at me, then took my hand. "Mmk."

I kept her hand wrapped tightly in mine as we walked through the halls. "How're you doing? You okay?"

"Yeah." She furrowed her brow,  
"Was Mike always this annoying? I really don't remember him ever being so... slimy."

I laughed, swinging our arms a little. "Yeah. At least I always thought so. The problem is that you're a kind and descent human being and you always look on the bright side of people. I rip their hearts out."

"You do huh?" She laughed, "Should I be worried?" She smirked at me.

I shrugged. "We already did that shit. We're good to go."

I saw Bella nod beside me. "Okay, good to know." She leaned over and kissed my shoulder. "How're you doing?"

I bumped my head lightly into hers, and rounded the corner toward the auditorium. "I'm okay. Tired as fuck, but whatever. Newton needs to keep his hands to himself. Badly."

"Agreed." Bella huffed a little and it was so fucking adorable. "It's getting old having to step away from him all the fucking time. I am in dire need of a shower from him trying to slide his hand up my shirt earlier."

I stopped, "What?" My tits. My skin. My stomach. Mine.

She waved it off like it wasn't a big deal that she had come in contact with the human equivalent to an octopus. "It wasn't like... bad or anything. He just slid his hand under my shirt and pulled me against him when I came into the cafeteria. Like... I dunno. It was weird."

I fluttered my eyes. Ew. "Bella, that's like... gross."

"I know!" She exclaimed, turning to me with wide eyes as she laughed a little. "You know what I think?" I leaned over so she could whisper in my ear. "I think we should go home and you should help me wash him off."

I shook my head and we continued down the hall. "baby, you need bleach. Stat."

"It's not that bad." She said with a laugh. Then she pulled me toward the bank of lockers we were passing and pressed herself against it, lifting her tee shirt so that I could see the expanse of her flat, pale stomach. "His hand was here" She told me, taking my hand and putting it over the spot. When she looked up at me, she was smiling. "There now your hand will be the last touch I had there."

I rolled my eyes and kissed her, "Oh Bella. Now I have Newtonitis."

She leaned in and kissed me again. "Yea, pretty soon you won't be able to keep your hands off me at inappropriate times either." She paused, looking up at me with one eye brow in her hair and laughed lightly. "Actually... I kinda like that idea."

"I bet you do." I kissed her again. "Let's go home."

She nodded, a small smirk playing at her lips. "It's starting already." I swear to god, I've never seen a bigger fucing smile. "Let's go." Bella grabbed my hand and started tugging me down the hall.

"What's starting?" I asked, pulling out my keys.

"Newtonitis." Bella turned back to me, and scrunched up her face."At least, I HOPE it's starting..."

I picked her up, throwing her over my shoulder. "Oh, it's starting..."

She giggled, tapping her fists on my back. "Edward!"

I tickled her a little. "Shut the fuck up, you love it."

She lifted the back of my tee shirt as she relaxed against me, and I felt her hand start to trace patterns on my skin. "Um... I didn't hear myself complaining."

I reached up and grabbed her ass before setting her down beside the volvo. "I didn't either, but I didn't want to risk it. I love you."

She literally fucking glowed at me. "Love you too."

I kissed her one more time before we got into the volvo and I started it up.

"We should get tattoos." I said, turning out of the parking lot.

"Of what?" She asked me as though I were a nut job.

I shrugged, "I dunno." Then I laughed, "I could get your face on my ass or something."

She made a face as though this would be distasteful. "Ew no. How about... my name on your dick?" She grinned.

I shuddered, just thinking of it. "Fine, then mine on your clit."

She gave a disbelieving laugh."I know you know where it is... but I think it may be a little small to fit 'Edward' on it."

i laughed, too. "You could put like... Ed... or ward... or just make the font really really small."

"What about just, 'E'?" She suggested, but then rethought it. "Wait, cuz that could stand for Emmett too."

"Baby, your name isn't going on my cock, either way. Maybe like... my arm, but not... there."

She shook her head and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "No, don't get my name. That's silly. If we ever broke up you'd be stuck with that. You'd be force to date only Isabelle's and Isabella's."

I shook my head, "We aren't breaking up. Don't even say that."

She smiled softly and kissed my palm. "Okay, sorry." She pursed her lips and I knew she was back at it. "What about my name on your chest, in tiny font?"

I laughed, rolling my eyes. "If you don't want me to get your name, that's fine. I'll think of something else."

Bella shrugged. "We can talk about it later. You have the rest of your life to get me on you." She said with a shit eating grin.

I squeezed her hand and pulled into the driveway. "You're in me; that's even better."

"Funny, I like it better when you're in _me_." She gave me a quick kiss and hopped out of the car. Yeah, good fucking joke right?

I laughed, and followed her. "I'll grab Smith and meet you at the guest house?

She nodded, coming up on her toes to kiss me softly. "Mmkay, sounds like a plan."

I swatted her ass and we went in our separate ways. I was on top of the world until I heard my girl scream.

Smith barked, my blood ran cold.

"EDWARD!"

**BPOV**I stood there frozen with fear. The door was ajar and inside the apartment had been completely torn apart. The cushions on the sofa had been shredded, picture frames shattered on the ground. The TV was laying screen down on what used to be the coffee table.

I didn't dare check the bedroom. I felt like my screams were a constant siren as I wailed for Edward. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who would do this. And that was when I saw it: the old family portrait of me and my parents.. the frame perfectly in tact, the only one left on the wall; only the photo was missing.

He was back. It had to be him. The man from that night. My body shook without restraint and it felt as though my heart were going to take flight at the pace it was racing. I screamed again for Edward, afraid to step further inside and too paralyzed with fear to go back to the main house.

I heard footsteps running towards me and I turned, my breath shaky and eyes wide as I looked up at Edward.

"He's... I think... He took my family portrait." I spit out unintelligibly.

Edward's arms were around me in an instant, clutching me tightly. "Shit... are you okay?"

My breath was erratic as I just stood there, looking at him. "What if... what if he's still there?" I murmured quietly.

I heard his breath hitch and his body twist, pulling me away from the devestation. "C'mon. We're calling the cops."

I was as stiff as a rock and not even Edward's touch calmed me down. He guided me into the house, his arm never leaving my waist as we walked into the living room and he pulled his cell phone out, calling his parents first then the cops.

Seconds, minutes or hours could have passed. Edward was talking to me but I couldn't hear him. All I could see was the apartment, the missing photo, the empty photo frame. Memories of the night flashed in my head like a fast-paced movie montage and with each memory my heartbeat quickened.

I had turned into stone and hadn't even realized I was crying until I felt Edward's thumb swipe the droplets from my cheeks. He pulled me to him, tucking my head under his chin as he held me tightly.

But I didn't feel it. I was numb all over. The visions on nonstop replay even as I heard other voices around me.

I wondered if this was what being catatonic was like. Everyone moving around you, and just being _unable _to respond. Not catching much of anything aside from that people were speaking and moving. But everything was so blurry, so distant. And that was when I saw it: a new image from my memory of that night that I'd apparently blocked out: the beady brown eyes that were a handful of shades darker than my own, almost pitch black.

And that was when I felt myself scream. It was like a far off yelp, an echo vibrating through my body from miles away.

**EPOV**

I didn't know what to do, as Bella started screaming again. She wasn't looking at me, nor my parents as she tried to squirm away. I pulled her back, over and over again, trying my best to comfort her. Nothing was fucking working and it was frustrating as hell. "Baby, C'mon, let's go upstairs." I kissed her temple carefully, fighting back my own tears. I was losing her, it felt like. It was like the day I'd found her at her house all over again. I hated it. I hated that she'd had to live through this and I couldn't take it away from her. I hated that I couldn't help her, when she so obviously needed me.

I lifted Bella slowly and took her upstairs, my dad nodding to me as he spoke to yet another officer. Bella was clinging tightly to me now as I moved up the stairs and brought her to my bedroom. I placed her in the middle of the bed and leaned over her to kiss her forehead. "Bella? Baby, how're you feeling?" I asked softly.

She just looked so fucking dead as she stared right through me. Her deep brown eyes held no emotion, and it was almost like... almost like she had no idea who I was. That thought scared the shit out of me.

My heart fucking broke. I wanted my Bella. I wanted my fucking girl. I wanted her to tell me everything would be okay. I needed _her_ to be okay. I kissed her again, before going into her room to get her something to change into. When I got back to my room, she was exactly as I left her, but with Smith pawing at her knee and whining a little.

"Edward...?" Bella called, her voice heavy with disuse.

I dropped the clothes and went to her, cupping her cheek. "Yeah, Baby. I'm here."  
Her breath hitched, and her eyes began to well with tears. "Don't leave me. Please, please don't leave me."

I pulled her to my chest immediately. "Never, Baby. Not ever. No one will ever take you away from me. No one. I fucking promise."

Her arms snaked around my neck to pull me closer as she began to cry against my shoulder. "Don't leave... please don't leave..."

I ran my hands over her back, kissing her hair and nuzzling my face in her hair. "I love you, Bella. I'm here. I'm here."

I could feel her breath coming out in hot pants against my skin as her tears soaked through my tee shirt. She would sob soundlessly, but with every one her small body would shake with the effort. I fucking hated that my Bella was so fucking scared and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

That shit fucking hurt. I didn't know what to do, so I just held onto her, until she cried herself to sleep. I hated it. I hated every fucking moment of it. I changed her clothes while she was out and wrapped her up in my comforter. I paced at the foot of the bed, not sure what to do. She should eat, but what if she woke up while I was gone? I wanted to speak to my parents, but that would involve leaving her again. No dice.

Then there was a soft knock at the door.

"Edward?" My mother whispered.

She fucking read my mind. She was standing on the other side of my door with a picnic basket and two bottles of water. I fucking loved her. "Hey, what's all this?"

She handed me the basket and did her best to peer into the room behind me. "Dinner for you and Bella. How's she doing?"

I sighed, putting down the basket and running my hand through my hair. "She's the same. She mumbles every once in a while and she was crying. She's asleep now."

"Sweetie, the officer has some questions for you about what you two saw this afternoon."

I shook my head, pulling the door shut a little. "Not now. I can't leave her."

"Edward, he needs to speak with you so we can begin to resolve this. I'll stay with Bella, you go speak with him."

I hesitated, then sighed. The sooner I got this over with, the sooner I could get back to Bella. I let my mother in, and shut the door carefully behind me. I raced down the stairs and into two police officers who went back and forth asking me the same questions over and over. It was a waste of fucking time. I should've been upstairs. She needed me upstairs. I finally got too annoyed to handle tweedle dee and tweedle stupid anymore, so I just told them I was done and bolted back upstairs. I inched the door open carefully.

"Mom? How's she doing?" I called quietly.

"Edward," Bella whispered. When my eyes fell on her, she looked so broken I had to catch the gasp in my throat. "You said you wouldn't leave me."

I sighed and went to her, cradling Bella against my chest. "I'm here, Baby. I'm right here."

My mother stood, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I'm going to go check and see if they need anything else." She looked down at Bella, and I thought she was going to cry. "Do you two need anything?" Then her eyes lifted to me, and she pointed to the basket. "Make sure she eats."

I nodded at my mother as she left, then smoothed back Bella's hair. "Baby, do you think you could eat something?"

Bella shook her head and crawled under the covers. "Lay with me."

I pulled off my jeans and crawled in beside her, pulling her back to my chest. "How do you feel?" I asked gently.

"Scared." She replied weakly.

I kissed her head and tangled her legs in mine. "I'm so sorry, Bella. So fucking sorry. But I'll keep you safe. I promise."

Bella curled herself into me and clung. "Don't leave again."

I kissed her forehead. "I won't, Baby. I promise. I'm here." I ran my hands over her back again, resting my cheek to the top of her head. "Do you want to stay here or go to your bed?"

She pulled away a little, her eyes wide with fear and sadness. "Don't make me go back to the apartment Edward. Please... you don't think your parents will do you?" She started to pant again, so I knew I'd have to say something to make her feel better.

I shook my head, brushing the hair off of her face. "I won't let them. You're staying where I can keep you safe. I just meant did you want to move across the hall... to your room."

She shook her head. "No... not unless.. you want me to go?" She began to inch herself away, but my body roared in dissatisfaction.

I pulled her back into me. "Bella, I'm not going anywhere. If you wanted to go across the hall, I would go too. I'm not leaving. I promise."

She let out a sigh of relief, and settled against me again. "Let's stay here then."

I kissed her forehead gently and let her settle against me. She fell asleep soon after. I didn't know what had happened out there, or why some one was after her. But the one thing I did know, more than anything was that nothing would touch my Bella.

I would die first.


	30. Chapter 30

a/n: lookie look it's that time again bels!

Hey hey kella kels! ps parlez- vous russian? :P

duhh and i'm fluent in french toos! por que?

PARCE QUE! this most awesomest fic has been el translato into el russian-o!

ORLY?! (obviously I save my best english for our a/n's)

Lol, obvi :P but yeah, linkage in my profile, mmk? She made a cool banner for us too :)

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. So like, even though it's been translated into Russian, SMeyer still owns the characters right?

Evidently, she owns them in every language

Character hog.

Tots. But if the readers are feeling obliging, you know what we get to own?

Their souls?

Uhhhh... reviews? :P

Oh, right :x

So leave us a note... cause you love us :)

Yes, please and thank you!

* * *

**BPOV**

It felt like I slept for days. I felt grimy; like how you can feel the film of sweat and sickness all over your body when you fight off a fever. I rolled away from Edward, still in a daze. I vaguely remembered talking to him here and there, Esme checking in on us and waking up to Carlisle sitting at Edward's desk, speaking with him as they both peered over at me.

I still couldn't find my voice. I still couldn't help. I couldn't give them what they or the police or even my own mind wanted: a name, a description... anything to narrow down the search for this guy. In one of my lucid conversations with Edward, he mentioned how much the Forks PD was worrying about me. They even had two guys rotating shifts guarding the front and back of the house. They'd called in favors from Port Angeles PD and as far away as Seattle PD for back up and added men to help in the search.

Edward said I was protected. I was safe.

I had no reason to think he was lying, but I felt it. I wasn't.

I should have been the one that died, not them and my number was coming up soon. I could sense it.

Edward groaned and I heard him scratching at his sheets as he reached for me. It was pitch black out and I had no idea what day it was; all I had to go on was that it was 2:37am.

"Where are you going?" He asked, his voice raspy and thick with sleep.

"I feel gross and I smell. I'm going to sleep over here til the sun rises, then I'll shower." It was embarrassing to say that after 17 years of never fearing it, I Bella Swan, was scared of what lurked in the dark.

He stood slowly, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand before extending his arm towards me. "I'll help you. I'm not sleeping without you." He stated, motioning towards the door.

"It's inconvenient. I'll just lay here. It's fine."

His brows furrowed and he blinked rapidly, seemingly confused by my statement. "Why is it inconvenient?"

"Because it's the middle of the night and you need sleep."

He looked at me pointedly, shaking his hand out for me to take. "So do you."

I took his hand without further argument and we made our way quietly to the bathroom. He turned on the shower as I stripped slowly and he followed. We stepped into the shower gingerly. The hot spray felt amazing and instantly my muscles began to relax.

Edward's arms wrapped protectively around me as we stood under the streaming water. "Thank you." I mumbled, my cheek pressed against his chest.

His lips pressed against mine and I felt him relax against me. "There's nothing to thank me for. I love you, Bella. That's everything."

I looked up at him seeing all the love he had for me in his eyes. My lips pressed against his since... well, since the last time we had which I figured was at least a couple of days ago. I pulled away, letting out a puff of air. "Sorry if my breath is disgusting."

He laughed, cupping my cheeks in his hands and forcing me to look directly into his deep green eyes. "You're perfect."

I sighed against him, feeling his lips brush against mine again. We stood there, holding each other a few more minutes before we took turns washing each other up. He shut off the water, wrapping me up in a towel before putting on his own. We padded off as discretely as we could back to his bedroom and I threw on one of his t-shirts, while he remained naked and proceeded to dry off more thoroughly before sliding under the covers.

"I love you, but I don't like what's happening. Can we just fast forward to get past it all?" I murmured once I was wrapped up tightly in his arms.

His legs wound around mine as he got comfortable against me. "What do you mean?"

"... with everything. I don't like ... any of it. I hate the nightmares, but all I want to do is sleep. I hate knowing that he's out there but not knowing who I'm looking for. I hate that we have to hide that we're together when all I want to do is be wrapped up in you every moment of every day."

He leaned in, nuzzling his nose against mine. "We can go away somewhere." He suggested, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "To my grandparents in Chicago... or Vancouver. But Bella, I promise I won't let anything happen to you. Not ever."

My voice cracked and I wasn't sure if he heard me as I whispered against him. "He'll find me..." I clutched onto him tightly as my breath grew labored and my heart began to race all over again at the mere idea of what he might, no _is _capable of.

His grip tightened around me and he pulled my body impossibly closer against his, as if simply gesturing he wouldn't let me go would make it true. "Bella, he won't. I won't let you go. I'm here... Baby, you're safe. I promise, you're safe. He won't even breath the same air as you. I won't let that happen. I'll die before I let him near you."

At the mention of the possibility of losing him, I pulled away, staring into his eyes. "No Edward, you have to promise me. PROMISE ME you won't get in the middle of this if it gets to that point."

He sighed, reaching out for me. "Baby, I promise to protect you." He said, an edge of seriousness to his voice as he pressed a kiss to my cheek. "Baby, I can't lose you."

"No Edward." I argued, with a quiver in my voice. "Promise me you won't get in the middle." I could feel the anxiety, the fear coming at me like a speeding train as I slowly began to lose focus all over again. "PROMISE ME!" I wailed, fighting the tears. I couldn't lose him. I wouldn't let him get hurt in place of me... or worse.

There was the possiblity of worse.

I couldn't live in a world without Edward. But that was a possibility if he tried to be the hero instead of letting fate do its magic.

At the idea of him... gone, I felt my mind let go completely and once again I was in my frosty bubble.

**EPOV**

I sighed against her skin, pulling her as tightly to my chest as I could. I would die for Bella. There was nothing else to it. Living in a world without Bella was impossible. I'd already had a life without her, I didn't need more.

"Bella, I'm not going anywhere. Where you go, I go right?"

She didn't say anything, though. She just stared out past me, probably a million fucking things running though her mind at that moment.

I sighed, kissing over her face. "Nothing will get you, baby, I promise. Nothing. I love you so much."

Nothing. She started to pant harder against me, and her eyes clamped shut.

I pushed the hair from her forehead, and watched her carefully. "Baby, you should eat. Will you eat something for me?"

She blinked up at me a few times before rolling over and away from me. She curled up like an armadillo, and sighed.

I ran my hand over her back. She was fading away from me slowly. I fucking hated it. I got up and went over to the basket my mother had replaced every day for the past four days. Bella barely touched it. Maybe a piece of fruit or bread here and there, but nothing substantial. I sat in front of it so that I could keep my eye on the bed while I ate a chicken salad sandwich. I had no idea what to do. I wanted to take her away; to get her out of here, but I didn't know where. We only had months before graduation, and Bella didn't seem up for travel. It was in the back of my mind though. If it seemed as though things would go that way, I wouldn't hesitate to get my girl out of there.

I heard Bella whimper, then scream. "MOM! LET GO OF HER! MOM! MOM!"

I rushed to the bed and pulled Bella into my arms. "Bella? Bella! Baby, wake up! Please, Bella... wake up!"

Tears began pouring from her tightly shut eyes as she sobbed: "MOM! DAD! DAD SHIT DAAAAAD!"

I cradled her to my chest and whispered, "Baby, please. Wake up. Come back to me, Bella. Please..."

Her soft brown eyes opened slowly, and she clung to me. "Edward..." She gasped, pulling herself closer. "Edward..." Then she began to sob. I was so fucking scared.

I ran my hand gently over her back, kissing her forehead gently. "Shhhhh shhhhhh... Baby it's okay. I'm here... Don't be afraid."

She pulled away, trying to get herself together as she spoke. "Edward, we need to break up." She took a shaky breath and looked away from me.

I pulled her closer. "No."

Bella nodded against my shoulder, "Yes. It's the right thing to do. It's the only way. I can't... we can't... not now."

I cupped the back of her head, and wrapped my legs around her. "Stop. Don't say things you don't mean. I'm not going anywhere."

She pushed me away, still sniffling. "Edward, you don't deserve this. There's a good chance... you deserve to find someone who doesn't have this... who you can have a future with." She stopped for a second and I watched the tears pour from her eyes. She didn't mean it, I knew it. "My number was up months ago, I knew it all along; it should have been me and not them. And now..." She paused, trying to get a grip on herself. "I can't risk losing you because you are so determined to save me from what should have happened on halloween."

I looked at her, cupping her face in my hands. "Do you love me?"

Her eyes were cast down into her lap as she spoke, barely above a whisper. "You know I do, but--"

"But nothing. Don't give up on me, Love. Don't. Don't let whoever the fuck this is take _our_ future away. Don't let him win. I love you, and I want you to be my Mrs. Cullen. You will be. I won't settle for anyone else. I've got you, Bella. I won't let them take you away from me. I fucking promise."

"I won't let you risk your life for me Edward. If you can't promise to step aside if that's what it comes down to, then I can't be here... with you." She went to stand up, but was even shakier than normal because she hadn't left our bed in days.

"If it were me," I started, watching her as she tried to walk away. "If I were in your position, and I asked you to step aside what would you do?"

"But it's not." She sighed, "It's me, this is real... for me. And I won't let you get in the middle of this any more than I've pushed you into it." She turned slowly, and walked out the door. Then I heard her start to pad down the stairs.

I held my head in my hands and let her walk away. There wasn't anything left to say tonight. She was still mine, and I was still hers. Nothing would change that.

Nothing.

**BPOV**I felt like I was in a nightmare. One of those dreams where you keep thinking you've woken yourself up only to be met with more horror, more devastation. My mind was a fog. I had just broken up with Edward to keep him safe. Now, I just needed to find a way to leave the house to keep those I loved most that were still left, alive. I couldn't handle losing anyone else the way I'd lost my parents.

I wouldn't let him take anyone else. He wanted me, he could have me - just not at the expense at those I cared about.

My mouth was dry and I crept quietly through the first floor, my breath hitching as I saw another body in the kitchen. "Hi Dr. Cullen." I greeted softly.

"Hello, Bella. It's good to see you up." He stated, looking up from his plate of mixed vegetables. His eyes were soft and his smile sympathetic as motioned for me to come further into the room.

I nodded and skirted around him to grab a bottle water from the fridge. "I'm sorry for all the...well, all of it." I said, toying with the bottle cap.

I heard him sigh and scoot his chair away from the table behind me. "Bella, you're our family. Whether as our daughter, or our daughter in law, you will always be a member of this family." He said reassuringly, as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders pulling me close to him. "Something terrible has happened to you; something no one should ever have to go through. But I promise you, we will do everything in our power to keep you safe. You will be safe, Bella."

I smiled sadly. "Thank you." I responded. "I broke up with Edward. I don't... I can't let him get any more involved in this than he already has become. I can't let him get hurt if something... if I were to all of a sudden be in an unsafe situation." I had to tell him; he had to know that Edward was prepared to be reckless to help me.

"Nothing will happen to Edward. I will protect my children." He voiced decisively, bending down to look me square in the eyes. "Both of them."

My heart broke at his words and I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace, sobbing into his shoulder.

His arms wrapped around me, and he moved his hands up and down the top of my back comfortingly. "Everything will be okay, Bella. The police are around the house all day long. You don't have to go to school anytime soon, not until this whole thing is brought to an end. They will find whoever did this to you. I promise, Bella."

"I don't want us to be trapped here because of me."

"Do you feel trapped?"

"I don't know what I feel." I admitted honestly. "A part of me feels like this isn't even real, but then it hits and I'm like... crippled by it."

He sighed, his eyes changing once again from hard and defensive to soft and empathetic. "Sweetheart, the last thing you need right now is to push us all away. We're your family; we're here to take care of you, okay?"

I bit my lip. I knew he was trying to protect me, but couldn't he understand that I had to protect them just as much? I nodded, feigning understanding and walked back upstars looking from Edward's closed door to mine.

I turned and walked towards the closed wooden door and sighed.

**EPOV**

I heard Bella tip-toe back up the stairs, then pause in between our two bedroom doors. This was my chance. I went to the door and threw it open. "Baby, what's wrong?"

She blinked at me a few times before she moved toward me and took my hand. I smiled down at her a little as she tugged me back into my room and toward the bed. "Bella, wait." I said, moving to the basket. "Have something to eat."

"I'm not hungry." She said quietly.

'Please?" I begged, moving the basket toward the bed. I cupped her face in my hands, rubbing the apples with my thumbs. "Just a little something? It's been almost two days, Love."

Her shoulders slumped and I felt like shit. "Are there any veggies in there?"

I rummaged through the basket. "Mhm... some carrots or celery...

"Carrot, please?"

I handed her the baggy, and watched her carefully as she ate. I hated not being able to talk to her. I hated that she was so far away from me now. It fucking sucked ass. "Baby, are we still broken up?" I asked quietly.

She tossed the baggy back into the basket. "Are you still determined to put yourself in the middle to save me from my fate?"

I tapped my fingers on the blankets. "Bella, even if we are still broken up, I won't let anything happen to you. Just because you're done, doesn't mean I am."

"Edward don't say that... please." She looked up at me, and her eyes were pleading with me to understand. She didn't understand, though. I couldn't even let anything happen to her. I just couldn't. "I can't... don't you get that the minute something happens to you there would have been no point in saving me because I can't be without you." She stared down at her hands. "I lost my parents. I... can't... I won't, lose you too. You're all I have left."

I sighed, curling my fingers under her chin and tilted her head up to meet my gaze. "Baby, don't you think it's the same for me? If something happened to you, there's nothing for me. Nothing. I have no future with out you."

She didn't respond, instead she just curled up under the covers and away from me. Fuck. I grabbed my pillow and went to the couch. I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before I spoke. "Why are you pushing me away?"

I heard her shift under the covers, and her voice was muffled. "To save you."

I put my hand over my heart. "You're killing me."

I heard her get out of bed and my heart sank. "Then I'll leave now, rather than killing you slowly. At least you'll live through the heartbreak." She said sadly, before walking away.

I got up and put myself around her, holding her close to my chest. "Please, Bella. Stop walking away. Just stay with me. Let whatever will happen happen. Please, don't do this."

"No, something happening to you is not an option. I will not let that be an option."

"Okay. And I won't let anything happen to you. So let's protect each other by staying together. I won't leave you alone, and you don't leave me alone."

"You know how hard this... everything is right now for me. Why can't you give me the one thing that will give me an smidge of peace of mind?" She looked up at me sadly through her eye lashes. She was still my Bella. Even after everything, she was always my Bella.

I cupped her face in my hands, looking down at her sadly. "Because I love you. And I can't lose you. And if I'm not there to protect you, who will be?"

"Edward, my dad was the Chief of Police and couldn't protect my mom and to a lesser extent, me. This person, whoever it is... obviously knows what he's doing. I can't lose you because of an unresolved crime."

"And I can't lose you, either. Stop making this you against the world. It's you and me, and I'm not giving up on you. I won't."

She looked down at her feet, her shoulders sagging. "Why can't you give me this? Really, you don't get it. You're killing me. Just... let me handle this on my own, _please_."

I shrugged. "No."

She shook her head, moving out of my grip and into her room. I'd lost. I couldn't take it. I lost.

What the fuck was I supposed to do now?


	31. Chapter 31

A/N:

*pokes head around corner* Kella kels? Kelleroni? Are you there?

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**BPOV**I fell onto my bed, shutting my eyes. I was angry, frustrated, scared, overwhelmed, and a zillion other emotions all at once. My heart was pounding so hard with anxiety, that I thought there was a very good chance I'd die from a heart attack before the person that had killed my parents got his chance at me.

Dusk turned into night and I was petrified. It was the first night in what felt like forever, that I was sleeping alone - or trying to anyway. But I couldn't. Every creak, every random noise the house groaned with made my breath hitch. I heard the click of my door and I bolted upright, looking quickly around my room for anything I could use as a weapon. The only thing in reach was my brush. Fuck.

Edward stormed into the room, arms crossed over his chest as he stared me down defiantly. "I decided to ignore everything you just said and be with you because I know you're not thinking clearly, and I'm cold. So tell me I can get in bed so we can cuddle."

"Get out and put on a sweatshirt." He couldn't... I couldn't let him face what I was facing. That wasn't fair to him.

"Hmmm, tsk tsk. Don't make me go caveman on you." He threatened, clicking his tongue and shaking his head back and forth.

"Edward..." I breathed.

His head stopped moving abrupty, and a sly smirk played over his lips. "Mhm?"

"Sweatshirt and out, please." I sighed, exasperatedly.

Completely, ignoring my request, he sauntered over slowly, kneeling down and looking up at me where I sat on the bed. His shirt was off and his boxers hung low on his lips. If I wasn't so dazed from the events that had been going on as of late, I would have pounced on him. "Baby, you're scared. I'm lonely and I love you. Let me hold you and make it better."

"I'm trying to. Go to your room... I can't... I don't know how much longer I'll be able to stay no to you. Just let me do what I need to do, to keep you safe okay?" I begged, looking at him pleading him to understand.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair stiffly. "Do you remember in the beginning? When the biggest problem we had was finding a condom?" He asked, standing up and moving to lean against my nightstand.

"I thought in the beginning the biggest problem was you getting over the 'perfect time/perfect place' to fuck me issue?" I asked, smirking shyly and fidgeting with the hem of my comforter.

"Yeah, I forgot about that one. You almost had me in the janitor's closet that first day." He replied, puffing out a laugh and glancing over at me. "You wouldn't move your hand."

I smiled down at my lap. "If I could have, I think I would have taken you after the first kiss in this bed." I confessed, laughing a little and feeling my cheeks pinken. "Even after you pulled away and apologized for it."

"That was by far the hottest kiss of my life, by the way."

"Why?" I asked, looking towards him completely confused. He'd made out with nearly all of Forks High, and some recent graduates. What made me so different?

"Because even though I didn't know what the fuck it was at the time, that was the moment I fell in love with you. I realized that kissing you for the rest of my life is what I was supposed to be doing." He let out a quiet, dry laugh, murmuring, "And maybe it meant that you felt the same way. That you wanted me that much, too."

"Well I win, because I've loved you since second grade." I chided, beaming a huge shit-eating grin in his direction. "And I remember the exact moment, too."

"You do?" He asked, throwing me a lopsided grin.

I nodded quickly. "Spring break. Jasper, me, you and Rosalie were hanging out in your yard. And Rosalie went to swing in the tire swing and you pushed her off and said I was the only girl allowed on it." I replied, my mind flooding with memories of that afternoon. "And then just to prove your point you made me get on it and pushed me til your mom said it was time for dinner."

"I remember that. I just hated that Rose always pushed you down. I still hate it."

"She's gotten better. She mostly just lashes out at other people in my defense, rather than at me." I paused biting my lip and grinning. "Though maybe the tire swing incident is why she hates you so much." I mused, laughing softly.

"Either that, or ninth grade." He sighed, and his eyes scrunched up as if he was deep in thought from the memory.

"Ninth grade? What happened freshman year?" I asked, completely thrown for a loop.

"She told me she liked me, and I told her I didn't feel the same way. All I could think of was... you. The way she treated you. I didn't want to be with someone like that."

"But... Tanya?" I ventured. I knew it was a low blow. "She treated me worse than Rose, so why Tanya?"

He shrugged. "I didn't know her, I guess. I gave her the benefit of the doubt."

I nodded and sighed. "I've been thinking lately... about what Jasper said the day he found out about it. About... whether we would have been the first to hook up if not for the misunderstanding."

"And?"

My brows knit together and I shook my head. "I don't know. I mean I guess it depends on if Emmett had really told you that day. I think if he had, we would have never gotten here. And if he hadn't, then..." I trailed off shrugging. "I guess, I can say that I always hoped we'd end up together but that's a bit biased." I continued, laughing to myself.

"Love, if Em had told me I would have gone straight to you. We would have been together." He stated with a tone of certainty in his voice. "You and me? We're inevitable." He said, hesistantly sliding in beside me under the covers.

"But you said before... you didn't feel for me then what you do now. So how do you know you wouldn't have blown me off and gone all weird, like boys do at that age?"

He laughed quietly, shaking his head. "Because you were my best friend, and I _cared_ for you. I would never laugh at you. I'd get royally fucking pissed at you, but I'd never laugh at you."

I laughed and turned my body to face him. "At halloween, when I tried rather unsuccessfully to maim your face.. and I wound up falling on top of you instead..." I felt my cheeks turn a deeper red as I continued, "I thought you were going to kiss me."

"Can you keep a secret?" He asked, his eyes piercing into mine.

I nodded, staring up at him. "Mhm."

He scooted closer, whispering. "I thought I was too."

"So what stopped you?" I murmured as my breath blew over his lips and I inched closer.

"The look in your eye. Bella, you looked so scared. Like... like you thought I was going to hurt you, or some shit." He sighed, looking down. "It freaked me out."

I shook my head, remembering how fast my heart had been pounding. "No," I laughed quietly, placing a soft chaste kiss against his lips. "I was shocked, literally. It felt like every part of my skin that was touching yours had pulses of electricity hitting it. I didn't know what the fuck that was."

His mouth pressed against mine hard and we were panting as he pulled away after a beat. "Fuck, I missed you."

I sighed against him, pulling him down onto the bed beside me. My lips pressed against his with purpose and my hands found their usual spot in his hair, caressing his scalp. One of his hands slid to the back of my neck pulling my head closer to his while his other roamed up and down the curve of my body, over the blanket. We pulled away, just enough to gulp down air. "Edward, everything will work out right? We're not going to be separated just when we've finally gotten to this great point in our relationship, right?" I asked, apprehensively.

"Nope. You're mine. You belong with me." He replied placing a reassuring kiss against my forehead.

I sighed, lifting my face to brush my lips against his. "I need you." I whispered against his mouth. "It's been too long."

He pulled away a little, looking down at me seriously. "Promise me you won't push me away anymore?"

"Promise me you won't intervene in whatever is meant to happen unless it's _absolutely _necessary?"

He grinned devilishly and I couldn't tell if he was going to tell me the truth or a lie. "Yes, love."

"Then I promise I won't push you away, ever again." I answered honestly, before pressing my lips against his.

"Good, cause I fucking hate sleeping alone."

I nodded in agreement, quickly ridding myself of my shirt and rolling over him, straddling his hips. "You're bringing me back. I was so scared I was going to slip...and just be stuck forever in my own head, with everything."

His hand slid around to the back of my neck, cupping it and inching my face closer to his. "You had me worried, love."

"Me too." I admitted. My face slowly lowered and I dusted my mouth over his. "I love you, forever." I sighed against him, slowly starting to rock my hips against his.

"I just love you. Whatever that means, for as long as we live; I love you." He replied, pressing his lips against mine firmly.

His hands roamed all over my body, palming and lightly brushing over it reverently, as if he wanted to see how my skin would react to different levels of pressure. Our tongues tangled and I pressed against him flatly, feeling his erection poke my stomach. I couldn't be patient; I couldn't wait. I needed him. I needed to feel something other than fear and numbness. My body lifted up just enough to edge his boxers down. His legs squirmed, kicking them off as my mouth found his again quickly.

My lips broke from his and hovered against his ear. "I don't care if your parents are home. I need you to fuck me good and hard. Please Edward, make me scream." I begged quietly.

He groaned and gripped my hips roughly. "Anything for you, baby." He grunted as he moved under me and thrusted up into my wet pussy as hard as he could. My head flew back and I sat up straight over him. I didn't waste time and began bouncing on his thick shaft in fast, hard motions. I kept trying to take him all the way in but he was too big and it wasn't working. "Edward hold my hips and plunge into me. Fill me completely. I need to feel all of you." He gasped, throwing his head back, shutting his eyes and doing as I'd requsted. Each of my downward thrusts were met with Edward pushing his hips up and it wasn't long before I was writhing over him. His body, completely attune to my own seemed to sense it and I felt his index and middle fingers circle my clit fiercly, pushing against it roughly as I continued to ride him.

"Baby, fuck... I'm going to cum. Open you eyes. Watch me ride you as I milk your cock." I demanded, my voice thick with lust. His eyes shot open and he moaned my name. "Fuck Bella, you're so fucking sexy. God baby, milk me. I need to give it to you. Do it." He commanded pressing harder on my clit. "I want your tight pussy to suck me dry." He egged on. His words, his hands and my movements were too much and I let go, slamming down on him one last time as my walls clamped around his dick. "OH FUCK EDWARD!!!!!" I screamed as my body convulsed above him, shaking with intensity. His hands flew back to my hips pulling me down even harder against his shaft as I felt him twitch inside me, letting go. "Oh shit... shit... fuck... my Bella... fuck..." He panted as we rode out our orgasms. I continued moving above him, once mine had simmered down, rolling my hips as his cock slowly became flacid inside me.

I sat there, above him with his soft cock still in me biting my lip and smiling down at him. My breath was still coming out in short gasps and we just stayed there, our gaze not breaking. His hands roamed over my slick slides slowly, comfortingly as we remained in silence.

Finally I rolled off of him, moving instead to flush myself to his side. "What did you tell Rose when she said she had a crush on you?" I asked, resting my head against his sweaty chest.

He sighed, running his fingers through my hair casually. "Just that I wasn't interested. I didn't like... yell at her or anything."

"How'd she take it?" I asked, turning my head to look up at him. I had never heard of, much less see Rose ever be rejected point blank; I was morbidly fascinated.

He looked at me with furrowed eyebrows, laughing. "Love, I think you know the answer to that question."

"Well, I know she hates you now, but initially? Did she cry? Scream? Injure you?"

"Pretty much all of the above, except the hitting. She just kind of screamed at me. Told me I was making a mistake." He stated nonchalantly, before kissing me quickly. "The usual."

I puffed out a laugh, rolling my eyes. "The usual huh?" I teased. "So how many rejection letters do you send girls a week? More than Harvard?"

"I found out quickly that most girls weren't interested in me, they wanted a night with my reputation."

"Who knew there were so many girls in need of an orgasm in this town." I mused, smirking into his pecks.

"Good lord." He let out an exasperated breath, readjusting me against him. "Is that all I am to you?" He asked, a playful grin spread across his lips.

"Obviously." I murmured, sliding up his body and nipping at his neck. "Bella the shrew-slash-prude Queen gets dethroned because of Slutward." I grinned against him.

His lips brushed mine and he pulled away as if mulling over the idea. "It's a headline. Only... who would have guess we'd be more alike than we let on?"

I shrugged against him and sighed. "Can we just stay here in our bubble, and ignore everything outside of this room until it all goes away?"

His arms pulsed around me, pulling me tighter into him. "Definitely."

**EPOV**

Bella fell asleep on my chest a little while later, and I followed. It was exhausting, trying to draw her out, and make her come back to me. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. What if she woke up, and completely forgot everything that had happened tonight. It fucking sucked having her pulled so far away from me. I hated it. I wanted my girl... just my girl with me.

I slept restlessly, but woke up the next morning with Bella's lips pressed into my jaw. I sighed, running my hands over her back. "Hey, baby."

She hummed into my skin, "Hey."

I rolled us over so that I could see her, and giggled at me. I smiled, kissing her forehead gently. "How're you feeling?"

"Like I'll be okay as long as neither one of us ever leaves this bed again."

I leaned in, kissing over her neck. "We don't have to. But, baby... maybe we should go somewhere."

She shook her head, then buried her face in my shoulder. "No, here is.. safe. We're safe."

I held her closer and berated myself for even bringing it up. "Baby, do you remember when we got Smith?"

She hummed against my skin as her fingers started to scratch my scalp. "Mhm."

"Remember naming him? How he was curled up in your lap?"

"Mhm, why?"

I nuzzed my nose against her, breathing deeply. "What was your favorite part?"

"When your mom said she'd side with me in a custody battle" She said, giving me a watery laugh. "Yours?"

I pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. "Picking him up."

"Why, because I was petrified you were gonna rape me?" She scoffed.

I pulled away, "What?"

"I had no idea where we were going, and all I really had to go on was your reputation... so I figured you... I dunno." She blushed a deep red that made me want to kiss her all over. "Maybe it was a tiny bit wishful thinking that you just take me somewhere and finally just... I dunno, get me _there_."

I smirked, "Would you have wanted that?"

If it was possible, she seemed to blush harder, then she nodded in confirmation.

I chuckled to myself, still looking down at her. "Even then? When we still weren't getting along?"

"I've never _not _wanted you Edward. I just used to be a lot better at hiding it when I thought you hated me for it."

"Wait, I'm so confused." I shook my head, and rolled over onto my back. "You're telling me that I could have had you for _years?"_

She nodded. "Mhm." She stayed still like a statue beside me.

"Well, fuck me dry and call me Sally." I was a complete fucking idiot.

"Is that an offer?" She asked, relaxing with a small laugh.

"I just can't get over how silly the whole thing was. And the way I love you now... it's almost incomprehensible that we went from one to the other."

"I think the point is to not let ourselves go back."

I looked over at her. "That's not an option."

"Good." She leaned over and kissed me, "So is the deal you get out of going to school as long as I'm forbidden to go?"

I didn't want to tell her it was because my parents were worried about something happening to me, as well as to her. "Mhm. I'm keeping you company, love."

She smiled then snuggled closer to my chest. "You were right." She murmured, sucking gently on my collar bone.

I sighed, pressing my cheek to the top of her head. "About what?"

"This whole cuddling thing being better than fucking. Gotta say, I'm starting to warm up to it."

I laughed pushing one of my legs in between hers. "See? I can love you from out here, too."

She smirked into my skin, then said sarcastically. "Yea, but I still prefer when you're in me. I'm sure that'll fade in 5 or 10 years."

I laughed, pulsing the arm around her waist. "Why?"

"Well in that amount of time the novelty that is your dick will have worn off." She grinned.

I slumped, 'Well, that's awfully disheartening."

"Why? I pounce on you and want you so much you have to constantly say no anyway. I'd imagine you'd be happy at the eventual shift." She said with a smile.

I hesitated for a moment before I pushed her ass into me with my heel. "I like being with you. I really do. I love fucking you, holding you, kissing you... I don't ever want that to stop. Or taper off." Or for her to lose interest.

"It wouldn't be tapering off... just simmering down to the point where you don't have to tell me to get off your dick, like you do now." She laughed again and leaned up to kiss my cheek softly.

"I do that?"

She nodded as though I should know this. "Not as much as say... a week or two ago, but that's cuz I keep myself in check now."

I shook my head against her. "Wait, what?"

"Well after our last fight about, well... sex, I realized I could either cool my jets and not pounce on you every time I needed to feel you fill me, or we could continue having fights like that. I opted for the no fighting." She told me. Her tone was light; like this was something that I shouldn't be worried about.

"Fighting?" I was so fucking confused. "But wait... I never said I didn't want to be in you all the time. I just... I dunno. I'm sorry."

She looked up at me as her lips curled into a broad smile. "For what? You were right. It's totally not normal or okay for me to be pressuring you for sex all the time." Her lips grazed my cheek before she settled back against my chest. "I've got it in check, don't worry Edward." She said softly.

"Worry about what?"

"Me jumping you all the time like I did in the beginning and begging you to fuck me."

I sighed, pulling away a little to look at her. "You never pressured me, and please believe me when I say that the only reason I don't give into you as often as you'd like is because I don't want us to get caught." I kissed her forehead gently. "Please don't ever doubt how much I need you at any given moment. I'm so lucky that I get to have you, Love."

"Well regardless of the reason, I've stopped pushing because I don't like feeling like I am pressuring you with my constant advances." She sighed, and nuzzled her face against my shoulder. "And I don't doubt how much you love me, really."

"Good cause it's a shit ton, Baby." I said, my hand sliding down her back.

"Mhm." She hummed.

I sighed again, and just sat with her in the silence. Bella had to know how much I loved her. She just had to.


	32. Chapter 32

HOLY CRAP. LOOK WHO IS POSTING AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN?!

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**BPOV**

I didn't sleep. I tried, but not even Edward's arms surrounding me helped. Everytime I shut my eyes all I heard was the clatter and the sound of the gun going off and screaming and whitenoise. And the eyes... dark, tiny, almost pitch black as they glared at me before everything went dark. So instead I laid there, stiff as Edward tried to adjust me but I never budged.

The light began peeking out on the otherside of my curtains around 6:30 and I decided there wasn't any hope for me getting rest tonight. I slinked out of bed, doing my best to not disrupt Edward as I quietly made my way out of the bedroom.

The house was eerily quiet except for the distant mumuring of 2 cops downstairs. I tip toed into the bathroom, locking it shut behind me and turning on the shower. I stayed in there, under the hot spray until the water grew tepid. I was certain the shower would relax me enough to let me sleep, but it didn't. My mind still raced and I still felt like I was walking on needles.

Edward was still asleep, when I walked back into the room. I crawled into bed beside him, watching him sleep. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to have a girl with this much baggage, with this much risk. He deserved so much better than me. I sighed softly and curled up next to him, feeling him shift to rewrap his arms around me.

"Where'd you go?" He mumbled groggily.

"Hm? Oh, to shower."

He sighed as he shifted me against him, smirking. "Do showers make you stare at me?"

I felt the blush shoot up into my cheeks. "Were you awake the whole time?" I asked softly, averting my gaze from his eyes down to the mattress.

"Most of it. What's wrong, Baby?"

I shook my head, looking up at him and smiling faintly. He couldn't know what I was planning, he'd try and stop me. "Nothing, I just think I'm starting to go stir crazy. Do you think we could go for a walk or drive or something today?"

"You sure?" He murmured. He rolled around a bit more, pulling me so that half of me was laying on top of his chest.

"Mhm. I need some fresh air. I can go on my own if you want to sleep more."

He chuckled, moving to sit up and climb out of bed. "Yeah, cause I'm gonna let you go alone. Nice try, love."

"Well I'm sure I'd have one of the million cops outside tailing me." I sighed. This extra security was unnecessary. I should have died and not both my parents, why was no one getting this? They were all just delaying the inevitable.

"Where you go I go, remember?" He repeated, cupping my face in his hands.

I nodded and sighed, trying my best to pull it together for him. "I know." I replied kissing his mouth gently.

He leaned his forehead against mine, whispering against my lips. "Where to, love?"

"Wherever. I just wanna be alone with you and get some air."

"Okay. We'll take the volvo? I haven't driven it in forever." He said taking a step back and grabbing his jeans in one swift motion.

"Sounds good." I said, pulling my hair up into a ponytail and sliding on a pair of flipflops.

Edward finished getting changed and we walked down the stairs being stopped by three officers who all dialed Carlisle to confirm it was okay for us to head out. We were given the go ahead as long as we agreed to have a patrol car follow us at a distance, and were back within the hour.

We agreed and moved quickly. Pretty soon we were speeding down the highway and I closed my eyes, leaning back into the seat, trying to relax. "Where are we going?"

"I wanna show you something." He said shifting gears as I felt the car accelerate.

"Mmk." I sighed, reaching for his hand and moving it over to my lap. I felt like I was somewhere between life and death, my beginning and end. And I wanted to enjoy every minute before I walked away to face my demise.

**EPOV**

She was really freaking me out with all this shit. Bella was never quiet when it came to her and me. She always had something to say, and there was never any of this staring while I slept and shit.

Honestly, I was afraid of what she was thinking.

Bella had such a vivid imagination that she was probably thinking and settled on the worst, despite my promise that she'd be safe. I sighed, pulling over at the edge of the woods. Bella would always be safe with me. I'd never let anything happen to her. Not ever.

I tugged lightly on the hand she was still holding. "Baby, we're here."

She looked out the window warily as her eyebrows pinched together. "Where are we?"

I laughed, "The woods!" I said, getting out of the car and going to the trunk.

She got out behind me and rubbed her hands over her arms to keep warm. "Mmk." If I hadn't known Bella as well as I did, I would have missed out much she'd withdrawn into herself. For anyone else, it would be tiredness, or disinterest. But for Bella... this was nothing short of scary.

I tugged her over to me, putting a hat on her head, then rummaging for my heavy coat to put around her. "You have to be good and hold my hand the whole walk. I don't want you falling on me, Cullen."

"Mmk." She said, reaching out for my hand.

I put my coat over her shoulders, took the blanket and grabbed her hand as we started up the hill. I didn't like this distance between us, so I really didn't like whatever was going on in her head. It couldn't be good. I thought briefly about throwing her up against one of the trees, but then thought she might not like that shit, given the weird mood she was in. We finally reached the clearing after a few minor stumbles. Nothing we couldn't handle. I leaned over and kissed the side of her head.

"I found this with Jasper once. We were seven and we were convinced we'd found the original spot where the sword in the stone was." I laughed to myself as I ran the tip of my nose over her temple. "Despite the fact that that shit was in England."

She hummed softly, then leaned into my touch. "You would think that." She smiled up at me.

I gave her a gentle push into the meadow. "So go see if you can find it for me."

She let go, and walked out into the meadow and spun around in the single beam of sunshine, smiling for real this time. She was so fucking beautiful.

I grinned at her, then spread the blanket on the ground. "What do you think love?"

"It's beautiful. Its like.. not even part of Forks. You managed to find the one place where sun lurks in the entire county." She turned to look at me, and I was so fucking happy that she still had that smile on her face.

I nodded, plopping down on the blanket and staring up at her. "What's on your mind, Love?"

Bella collapsed beside me, and put her head in my lap. "Nothing..." Her hand came up to cup my jaw, and she ran her thumb over my jaw slowly. "I love you."

I leaned into her touch, and looked down at her carefully. "I love you. Tell me what's wrong."

She leaned up to kiss me, "Are your parents still thinking of taking us away next week for Christmas?"

"I'm not sure, love. Do you still want to go?"

"Whatever you want to do. I don't want to ruin your family's Christmas."

I felt my face fall as I ran my hand over her forehead. "How could you say that, Bella? You not being with me will ruin my Christmas."

"I didn't say I wouldn't be. I just want to do whatever you and your family want. I've been enough of an inconvenience to everyone the last couple of months." She sighed, looking out into the tree line.

I laid back and pulled her against me tightly. "Don't ever say things like that about yourself. Not only are you anything but and inconvenience, you're talking about the woman I love more than anything."

"That's a recent development. Maybe it was better when you hated me. Then you wouldn't be so against me wanting to handle the situation on my own."

"What do you mean?" I asked, starting to get angry. How could she think that she was a burden? "Bella, I would gladly give my life for you, and you're calling yourself an inconvenience?"

"That's just my point. If you hated me still, you wouldn't be saying that. And I wouldn't have to worry about you doing something to put yourself in danger to keep me safe."

I sighed, leaning my cheek to her forehead. "You don't get it, do you? Bella, I may have been mad at you and not wanted this with you, but I would never want you..." I took a deep breath, "Dead. If I could stop that from happening, I would do whatever it took to protect you."

She took in a heavy sigh, "I don't want you to risk yourself to save me, ever. No matter what." She squeezed me tighter and rubbed her cheek against my chest.

I kissed her hair, breathing in her scent. "Good thing it won't get that far, then."

She hummed against me, and pressed her lips to my chest. "Talk to me about something, anything other than what's going on."

Um, Um, Um, I don't fucking know. Please, please don't die on me? "We should have Alice and Jasper over soon."

"Yeah. And Ben and Angela... maybe them first since Ben's been harassing you to ask me out since like... 8th grade."

I laughed, "Yeah. You know I always thought he had a thing for you."

She looked up at me with a huge grin on her face. "You did?" She sounded surprised. Like it was completely impossible for every dipshit in this town to want her.

I kissed her forehead softly. "Yeah. He'd always say something like 'did you see Bella in that blue sweater?' or 'Bella's hair is extra shiny today' or 'Hey, Bella got tits. Did you see?'" I shook my head, suddenly irritated. My tits.

Bella laughed, pushing her face into my shoulder. "He used to ask me to show more skin cuz you were into sluts."

I laughed tickling her side a little. "So you're calling my girl a slut?"

She squirmed against my chest "No, just every girl you were with before me."

I paused, grinning down at her. "Well, biblically that's still just my girl. But made out with and shit? Yeah, you might be right."

She laughed again and pushed her face into my shoulder. "I don't think making out with someone makes them a slut."

I quirked an eyebrow at her cause sometimes she was too fucking cute. "Then what're you talking about? You were my first."

"One, I didn't know that at the time and I'm pretty sure Ben still doesn't. Your reputation proceeds you Mr. Cullen."

I sighed, leaning in to kiss my favorite cheeks. "How did I get this one again? Cause, baby, I don't fucking know."

"Because you're the hottest thing ever and every girls wants to think they're worthy of being in your pants... they just make it up when they're not."

I considered this. "Makes sense. Makes me seem like a ho bag, though."

"Well yea, having a rep isn't usually a good thing." She chuckled as she nuzzled my neck.

I smiled into her hair and I knew that there wasn't another bastard in the entire fucking world who was as happy as me. "I fucking love you. Baby, you're kinda the shit."

She hummed contentedly. "Do you and Jasper still come here?"

"No. He and I haven't been up here since we discovered tits."

"I wonder if he takes Alice up here." She groaned and shook her head against me. "Thank god you brought the blanket, this place is probably covered in Jasper Jizz."

I laughed into her hair and squeezed her. "I think we'd notice. The grass would probably be greener from all that shit."

"Yea," she sighed. "Probably."

"If you want we could pee on the grass. Like I could write your name or some shit. Then I'd be ours, and Whitlock would have to fuck off."

She shook her head. "No, no."

"No? Okay." I agreed, and looked up at the heavy passing clouds. "Are you cold baby?"

"A little." She told me, scooting her body closer to mine.

I pulled my jacket around us because fuck, my girl couldn't be cold, and wrapped the edge of the blanket over her. "Better?"

"Mhm." There was a crunch... like boots on the leaves and we both tensed. "What.. was that?"

Shit. Mother fucking shit. "I don't know." I whispered, sitting up and pushing Bella behind me. We listened for a minute, then heard another rustling close by. Shit.

She went to scoot around me and glared. "I told you this was MY fight Edward."

I turned to her and whispered harshly. "Bella, stop. This isn't mother fucking Tomb Raider. Stay the fuck back." I felt bad being so harsh with her, but she really needed to stop with this. It was starting to interfere with the whole saving her life thing.

She shoved me back and ran off toward the woods but stopped, then paused. "Officer Jenkins?"

An armed and ready officer stepped out of the bushes and glared at me from over Bella's head. "What are you thinking bringing her up here at a time like this? Do you have any idea what could have happened?"

I shrugged, folding up the blanket and not really looking at either of them. "She needed some air, and to get out of the house."

Officer fuck face sighed, shaking his head. "You can't come to the woods any more. Anything could have happened. You can't do anything like this again."

I shrugged, moving to where they were both staring at me and headed down the path. "Whatever."

I felt Bella follow behind me, and I made sure she didn't trip. We got back down to the car, and I packed up before sliding in beside her. "I need gas, do you mind if we stop?"

She huffed. "Why are you mad? I told you I'm facing this on my own."

I shrugged. "I'm not mad. You're mad."

"You're right." She confirmed, turning to the window.

"You shouldn't be. I was only doing what any guy would do." It really didn't make sense to me. It's not like I fucking threw a spear at the cop.

"You aren't putting yourself in danger for me, we've been over this."

I laughed humorlessly. "Bella, you don't get it, do you? I'm not going to let anything happen to you. No fucking way. Not gonna fucking happen. So you better deal with it, love. Cause nothing's changing."

"Then I'm leaving. I'm going to ask your parents to send me away. That way if he follows you won't be in the way." She turned to me like I was the one making no fucking sense. "You don't get it do you? I lost my parents because of this psycho; I'm not losing you too because of him."

"And I won't fucking lose you!" I shouted, "If you go, I'll follow. Where ever you go, even if you leave in the middle of the fucking night I will fucking find you." Shit, that's creepy. "No one, not even you, is going to keep me from protecting and loving you. I do not fucking care."

"Stop. Just stop. I'm trying to PROTECT YOU. Get off your white fucking horse and listen. I love you. I will NOT let anything happen to you because of me."

I slammed on the brakes and shut off the car. "You stop. You're being so fucking unreasonable. Just stop. I'm completely off my horse, but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna do the right thing. I will protect you, and I will be there for you. I can take care of my self, Bella, trust me."

"How is me trying to protect you unreasonable?! You have nothing to do with whatever the fuck this is. This is obviously some insane jackass who has something against my family, so just LET ME HANDLE IT!"

"NO!" I shouted. "No. I will not let you do this alone. I just fucking won't, so let it go. And obviously I have something to do with this because YOU ARE MY FUCKING FAMILY! Bella, if I lose you, I lose everything." I sighed, shifting my eyes to my hands and shook my head. "You are everything."

"I won't let whoever this is infect my new family. I won't... I won't." Her voice was soft and I could hear the fear radiating off of her.

I sighed, first unbuckling my seat belt then her. I ran my hand over her arm, then wrapped it around her waist to pull her into my lap. "They won't Bella. I promise they won't. One day, this will all be a distant memory. I promise. You'll never feel like this again."

She buried her face in my shoulder and mumbled. "Edward, if something happened to you..." She started, then took a deep breath. "I won't live without you. I won't make it. I can't even fathom trying."

I held her closer and leaned my head to hers. "It's the same for me, love. I won't let anyone fucking touch you, and we'll never have to live without each other. Never again. I promise, I love you."

She snuggled closer. "I wish you would let me handle this."

I laughed. "But I won't, so... looks like we're in this together."

She sighed against me, and didn't say a fucking word. Shit. "Bella... Bella... don't. I need you to fucking tell me you're gonna be okay because I fucking love you, and I need you more than anything. You can't pull away on me now. Please, Baby. Stay with me."

Not a fucking word.

I sighed against her then kissed her shoulder. "Bella, I love you. Come back to me. I fucking need you."

Still nothing. My fucking heart broke. I was losing her, yet again. "I learned something today, you wanna hear it?"

And since silence is a mother fucking yes, I decided to go with it. "The Great Pyramid at Geza was the largest man made structure until the 19th century. Isn't that cool? I mean, think about it all those thousands of years it was standing."

Her voice was weak and fragile. "Let's go there."

I smiled a little and buried my face in her hair. "Definitely. You know you can get married there. On a camel or some shit. Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Yea..." She yawned, "Let's do that... tomorrow."

I ran my hands over her back, then kissed her forehead. "I can't wait till you're legally mine. It's gonna be fuckawesome, huh?"

"Mhm. Tomorrow, kay?" She told me, sleep heavy in her voice.

I rocked her gently and kissed her forehead. "Are we allowed? I think we might have to be 18, baby."

"In the Pyramid."

I laughed a little. "That we can definitely do tomorrow. We can buy tickets when we get home. Baby, it'll be awesome."

She curled up a little more and mumbled. "I'm your wife." (mumbling)

I furrowed my brow, but just decided to fucking go with it. "Of course you are. I'm your husband. And someday, we'll make fuckawesome Isaward babies."

"Good, more bronze hair." She sucked in a deep breath and relaxed a little more.

"And brown eyes." I whispered, feeling her start to fall asleep on my shoulder. "Don't forget my brown eyes."

"Bed..ward" She murmured, practically asleep.

"Mhm. You and me, Love. For fucking ever. I love you so fucking much."

And then she was asleep. I let her rest there for a while, hoping she'd get some sleep, before I put her back gently in the passenger seat.

I loved her, obviously, but this was taking alot out of me. I fucking needed her to just be with me, and she was hell bent against my having anything to do with anything. It sucked.

I looked over at her again and kissed her hand.

I loved her.

Whatever would happen would happen.

I'd sure as hell be there.

**BPOV**

I was jolted awake by the sound of a car door slamming. My head shot up and I felt my throat constrict at not seeing Edward beside me. I calmed down almost immediately as I peeked out the window and noticed we were at a gas station.

Leaning across the console I saw Edward's back facing me as he selected the grade and slid his credit card through, open the door for the gastank. I unbuckled and made my way out of the car and towards Edward, as my eyes adjusted to the brightness that only white overcast skies could bring. "Hey."

His head shifted, turning towards me as a smile spread across his lips. "Morning, Sleeping Beauty. How're you feeling?"

"Like ass." I sighed honestly, running a hand through my hair. "I feel hungover and exhausted, and stoned all at once but with none of the good side effects."

"I'm sorry." He said, furrowing his brows and wrapping one arm around me, pulling me closer to him. "Why don't you run in the store and grab something?"

I don't know why, but I couldn't leave his side. Maybe this was why we took so long to really wake up in the morning. I wrapped my arms around the side of his waist and leaned my head in the crook of his arm as it came to wind around my shoulders. "No, I'm good here."

We stood there in silence, watching the old pump slowly nickle and dime Edward's car with fuel. A white chevy pulled up on the other side and a tall buff man that looked slightly familiar stepped out, wearing a Seahawks baseball cap. He gave us an acknowledging nod as he stepped up to the pump and faced us as he entered in his credit card and selected the grade of gas, unscrewing his cap at the same time.

Fucking old non-chain gas stations in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. All I wanted to do was get back to my bubble inside one of our beds and sleep... more.

"Hey aren't you Isabella Swan?" The older gentleman in the trucker hat asked, cocking his head to the side but not looking right at us. I tensed immediately around Edward, waiting for him to hopefully respond for me.

His eyebrows knitted together and stress lines appeared against his forehead. "I'm sorry, you must've mistaken my girlfriend for someone else."

His face lifted and he looked at me directly.

The eyes. _Those _eyes. My breathing became erratic and I only heard bits and pieces as the man said he knew my mom..

Fuck. He knew her. He knew... and he did...

I must have whimpered out loud because next thing I knew Edward was squeezing me and calling my name. I was panting as I looked at him, my lips parted and chapped from the dry air.

"Edward. Home." I squeaked out, begging the tears not to fall.

He nodded quickly, as if understanding my tone completely. "Get in."

I couldn't move. I was frozen. It only took Edward a split second to realized this and lift me, carrying me around and sitting me down in the seat, kissing my forehead.

But it was too late.

I'd seen him.

He knew where I was. He knew. It was only a matter of time now.

I felt myself fading into my black hole. And this time it was a welcome relief.

I would not fight it.


	33. Chapter 33

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**EPOV**

I had no idea what the fuck was going on as I sped down the road and back toward our house. "Baby, what happened? What's wrong?"

Bella kept her eyes trained on the windshield and her lips in a tight line.

Shit. I sighed, running a hand through my hair and reached over for her hand. "Bella, you know what? We should go to the beach over winter break. Just like Hawaii... only less fighting. Wouldn't that be fun?"

She didn't move, other than to start breathing more heavily.

Okay, maybe only for me. "Bella, my balls fell off."

Nothing. Not even a god damn smile.

I sighed, and reached for my phone. I really thought that would fucking work. "Dad," I said into the phone. "There's a problem with Bella."

He spoke quickly and told me he'd meet us at home. I hung up and frustratedly threw my phone into the backseat. I was pissed that I couldn't fucking fix this for her. I was pissed that I didn't know what the fuck I was supposed to be doing. All I wanted was for Bella to be okay. That's all. I didn't think it was too much to ask. I pulled into my driveway, and turned to Bella before the masses descended on us. "Baby, how're you feeling?"

She kept her eyes trained on some fucking point in the distance and I watched goose bumps run up her arm.

I bit my lip, then got out to go over to her side of the car. I opened the door slowly and knelt down beside her. "Baby, can you walk or do you need me to carry you?"

She turned her head slowly, sort of creepily and blinked slowly at me. I thought she might say something but she didn't. She just continued to be scary as fuck.

I let out a heavy breath and wrapped her arms around my neck to lift her out. "Baby, everything's gonna be okay."

Nothing.

This was getting irritating now. I didn't know what I should or shouldn't be doing, just that I obviously wasn't doing something right. Something wasn't right, and I had to fix it. My dad wasn't home yet, so I brought Bella upstairs and put her into my bed. "Love, you remember when you'd be naked by now?" I laughed uncomfortably. "You'd think it was the fucking Sahara in here."

She grabbed my hand in a ducking vice grip, and but looked past me. Her voice was rough and sore as she spoke. "Don't leave me Edward."

I blinked and looked at her, confused. "I won't. Where am I going?"

"Don't leave. You can't leave me. Please," she begged, breaking my fucking heart. I hated that she hurt. I hated that she felt this kind of pain.

I pulled on her hand and tugged her into my chest. "Shhhh... shhhh... I'm not going anywhere. Nothing will ever keep me from you. I love you, Isabella."

She started panting hard against me, and started clawing at me to get closer. "Edward, don't leave me. Don't go. Don't go."

I gripped her tighter and wrapped her legs around my body. "Bella, I'm here. I'm right fucking here. Nothing... nothing will ever take me away from you. You'll always be in my arms. I won't let anything happen to you. I fucking love you, Bella. I fucking love you."

She was hyperventilating against my shoulder, but I didn't feel any tears. "He... he knew her. He knew her how could anyone who knew her..." she sobbed.

The guy? What the fuck? It didn't make sense. "How could anyone what?"

She squeaked a little, then pushed her face in my neck, going completely quiet. She was so fucking scared.

I ran my hands over her back and kissed the base of her neck. "Did you know him, love?" I whispered.

She didn't answer, but I could feel her breathing steady a little against my neck.

I sighed, still rubbing over her back. A few minutes later, Smith came up onto the bed and nudged Bella with his nose, followed by a soft whimper. Poor kid must've been scared out of his mind. "Your boy is here." I told Bella softly.

She pulled away a little, and spoke softly. "Lock the door?"

"Sure." I disentangled myself from her and Smith curled up beside Bella as I locked the door. "Better?"

She nodded, reaching out for me. "He's ours."

I laughed and pulled her back to my chest, then ruffled Smith's fur. "Of course he is. The best dog-child I've ever had."

"You said my boy was here. But he's ours."

I nodded against her. "I know. He's my boy and your boy. He just likes you better. He licked you first, remember?"

"We're staying here. We're not leaving."

I turned to look at her. "Where were we going?"

"I don't know. But we can't leave here."

"Okay..." I was so not following. "Why not?"

"Who...the guy at the gas station." She tensed against me, and swallowed hard. She was like... afraid to talk about him.

Still... not entirely sure what the fuck was happening. "The guy what? I don't understand." I felt like I was fucking missing something.

"He.. knew my mom?"

I nodded, "It seemed like he did. He said he knew her in high school or something. Did you know him?"

"i'm.. not sure."

I furrowed my brow and kissed her neck. "Don't be afraid love."

She pulled her self closer to my chest, and her voice was muffled against my tee shirt. "Hold me... tighter."

I pulled her closer to my chest and Smith repositioned himself closer to her leg. "Bella, you're okay You're gonna be okay."

"I know my fate. It's you I'm worried about." She said with a sigh.

I grinned into her hair, and pushing my nose into it. "Why're you worried about me? My fate is all tied up with yours and Smith and our kids, and your fuckhot awesomeness."

"I just am."

"Don't be." I whispered. "Everything's gonna be okay. You'll see."

"I feel like... I might've know the guy at the gas station." She whispered. She was so fucking hesitant to tell me anything, so I rubbed her back to try and make her comfortable. "But I'm probably wrong."

I sighed against her and kissed her temple. "Maybe. Maybe you met him when you were younger?" I thought for a second, then tensed. "Bella, do you... do you think..." I let my sentence trail off, and to be honest, I didn't really want to know the answer.

She didn't say anything.

She nodded slowly against me, and buried her face farther into my chest.

Fuck. I wrapped my arms tightly around her body and held her closer. Fucking shit. "Bella, we have to tell the cops."

"But, I'm not sure... I'm probably wrong. I'm wrong."

I kissed the base of her neck. "You might be right though. The cops could follow it up." This needed to be done. I wanted this to be over. I didn't want her to be afraid like this.

She shook her head. "I'm probably wrong. I don't want to pin something on someone who is more than likely innocent."

I sighed and nodded against her. "We can go to them at any time, okay? I love you."

She nodded. "Okay." She whispered, trying to pull herself closer, and hunching her shoulders against me. "I love you too."

I kissed her hair and pulled the comforter up around her shoulders. "I like you close like this. I love the way you smell."

"Me too." She whispered, pressing a kiss against my collar bone. "Talk to me. Tell me... mm... tell me what it's gonna be like once this is all over."

I grinned against her hair and leaned back against the head board. "It's gonna be fuckawesome. The only thing you'll ever have to worry about it which fist you wanna knock Rose with."

Bella lifted herself up a little, putting her forehead into my neck. "Details. Tell me details. Like a story."

A story? Mr. Rogers I was not. But fuck, for my girl I'd put on that lame ass sweater. "Well, we can like... fuck everywhere because no one's gonna give a shit anymore and we can move out. And we'll go to college, hopefully together and yeah, it's gonna be awesome. Like, I'll cook for you all the fucking time and we'll make out in the kitchen, and... uh, we'll probably fight some, but without the fights we can't have make up sex, so it's kinda worth it."

She laughed a little, and it was the best fucking thing to hear. "What colleges did you apply to?"

Uhhh, "All of them. Just in case."

"You applied to every college everywhere?" SHe asked skeptically, lifting her head to look at me. "No, really Edward. Where did you apply? I wanna compare to see if we could even GO to the same college."

"NYU, Princeton, Dartmouth, UW, and uh... I think I applied to UVA. I don't remember... Gonzaga, and Seattle. You?"

"UPenn, UW, Virginia Tech, Florida State, Cal Poly, Georgetown and Darmouth."

I nuzzled her hair again. "You applied to Dartmouth?"

"Yea, that Georgetown and Cal Poly were my top 3."

I nodded. "Okay."

"So maybe, we'll be able to go there. Otherwise... I mean all those states are so small... we could make something work. Right?"

"Yeah, but Bella, if you'd rather go somewhere else, I want you to go there. We'll make it work no matter what."

"I want to be wherever you are. I can study wherever."

I nodded, "I know, love. I want you to be happy, though. I don't want you to like... come somewhere just to be with me, and be unhappy because of it."

"I can't be unhappy if we're together. I mean... I can when we're fighting, but overall.. no."

I hugged her closer. "Whatever you want, baby. I love you."

Her face pushed itself into the crook of my neck, and I could hear her sniffing me a little. "You know what I'll love most about us being away and living together?"

"Fucking all the time?" I guessed, tickling her sides a little.

She laughed a little bit and squirmed in my lap. "No. You cooking all the time." She said with a smile. I never wanted to see anything but her smile. "we're going to have our own home."

I pulled her ass closer, since she pulled away a little and kissed her forehead again. "Sure we are. It'll be awesome. We get to go couch shopping and shit."

She gave me a decisive nod. "And then once the couch arrives I get to fuck you on it."

I laughed. "I was waiting for that. We might have to get a matching chair, if solely because I can fuck you on it."

"Ohhh a Lazyboy. That way we can recline in it." She gave me a sly wink, and the smile across her face was huge.

I winked back at her. "Rocker?"

She let out a gentle laugh, her lips pressing slowly to mine. "Now you're getting the idea."

I laughed, wrapping my arm over her shoulder to dip her a little. "Baby, I always had it."

"You did huh?" She whispered, her deep brown eyes looking up at me, and a small smile playing at her lips. Fuck, my girl was beautiful.

I brushed the tip of my nose over hers, then kissed her softly. "Uh uh. You're the only thing I ever think about."

She blushed. Hard. "I am?"

I laughed softly and kissed both of her cheeks. "Obviously, Bella. I can't get you off my fucking mind."

"Really?" She asked, surprised.

I grinned confusedly down at her. "Why do you look so shocked?"

"I don't know. I guess I just... never thought that you could think and feel about me the way I do about you. I think it's just clicking now."

My grin turned into a soft smile and I leaned down to kiss her again. "Click away."

She wrapped her arms around my neck, and kissed me harder. I fucking loved her lips against mine. There wasn't ever anything better than this. She tugged me down a little further, until her back hit the mattress and I was hovering over her. "I can't believe it took you so long to figure this out." She murmured against my lips.

I pulled the covers up tighter around her and laughed. "What do you mean? I always fucking knew how I felt about you." Whatever that meant.

"No, no you didn't. You said it yourself, you didn't feel _this _way about me. You just cared, you didn't see me like you do now." She smiled, "I always knew."

I nodded and kissed her neck. "I know. But you couldda helped me out." I joked, kissing to the other side then lifting my face to look at her.

She laughed up at me a little and I tried to commit the sound to memory. "And do what? Maul you?"

I nodded, "Sure. If you jumped on me, I would've held on tight."

"Even when you hated me?" She asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

I nodded. "Even when I... strongly disliked you."

She tilted her head so that her lips were barely brushing against mine. "If I had kissed you at the halloween party...?"

I kissed her. "I would have kissed you back. Then run out. Similar to the back porch."

Bella laughed softly against me. "Way to send a girl mixed signals."

I kissed her again. "Yeah, because pretending you hate me when you're secretly in love with me is crystal clear."

"I thought you hated me because I was in love with you; I didn't know how I felt was a secret."

I shook my head and kissed her cheeks. "It wasn't to you, but it was to me."

She gave a small sigh, and nodded. "I know." She kissed me gently, sucking a little on my bottom lip before pulling away slowly. "Can we stop talking for a little bit?" She asked, wrapping her arms around my neck, and kissed me harder.

I pulled away and furrowed my brow at her. "You okay?"

"Yea. I just don't like thinking about those days; when we had this huge space between us."

I smiled at her. "Then we won't. We're together now, and I love you. More than fucking anything."

Bella rolled over and pulled herself into my chest. "I love you too." She whispered, just as a shiver ran through her body. "I'm kinda cold. Do you have a sweatshirt I could borrow?"

I lifted my head up to look over her and saw my navy hoodie on the floor. "Hang on, Baby." I said as I rolled on top of her and fished around for it.

"Mmm, no wait. I like this better." She said, pushing her cold arms under my shirt and tugging me closer.

I pressed my weight on my elbows, and looked down at her. "You like this better? I'm like... asphyxiating you."

"No you're good. Your body heat is keeping me warm, but get under the covers to help keep my arms warm."

I laughed and pulled the blanket back around us. I pulled back a little to slip off her jeans and mine. "You can take a nap if you want. Are you sleepy?"

"No, not really." She said, running her leg up and down mine.

"Good," I said, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "Me either."

She smiled, leaning up to kiss me gently. "So what did you want to do to pass the time then?"

I nuzzled her nose with mine. "Talk to you. Hang out. Maybe we could watch a movie or something."

"Boo. All G rated stuff." She told me, crinkling her nose up at me.

I nodded, "I'm sorry I like spending time with you." I sighed dramatically, trying to keep the smirk off my face. "It's a curse."

"Yep, with me not _in _me." She replied, mimicking my sigh. "When this is all over, I'll need to find a boy on the side to keep me satisfied I guess."

"Probably. Since loving you completely isn't enough."

"Nope. Loving me and protecting me... not enough." She grinned, "But someone who will fuck me to keep me warm. Now that's a keeper." She told me, nodding emphatically.

I sighed dramatically. "Oh, well. He'll never love you like I do." And that was the fucking truth.

"Yea but he'll make me cum more. I can train my brain to equate orgasms with love."

I furrowed my brow. "So you don't want to love me?"

"No, I do. That won't stop." She smiled, leaning up to kiss me.

I brushed my lips over hers and slid down so that my arms were resting beside her head. "You sure? Because I don't think I can live without you loving me."

"Positive. Loving you is like breathing."

"Loving you is fundamental."

She wrapped her arms more tightly around me, and kissed me slowly. "Agreed."

I rolled us over again so that she was on my chest. "I think we should just stay here until we go on winter vacation."

"You come up with such good ideas while witholding sex from me." She said with a small laugh.

I nodded, then kissed her forehead. "I know. Going with out finds me means to an end."

"I still think you should get me naked to keep me warm." She smirked. "Just a suggestion."

"Well, the end is when I cum inside you, which unfortunately, at this moment isn't an option."

"Why not?" She asked, her brow furrowed. "The shot is in full effect."

Three, two, one. There was a knock at the door. "Edward? Son?" I looked down at Bella and grinned. "That's why."

"Then I guess I'll just have to get myself off in your bed, while you go talk to you dad." She huffed.

I leaned up and kissed her. "You better. Then you'll be all warmed up for me."

She moaned a little and kissed me feverishly. "Not going to lie. I kinda hate your dad a little bit right now." She whispered.

I kissed her back, just as hard. "Just think of how much harder you'll cum once I get back."

She moaned a little, and started tugging down my boxers. "Tell him to come back in 20 minutes."

"Edward?" He was seriously killing my boner.

"Bella..." I moaned and kissed down her chest.

Her fingers twisted through my hair, and she arched into me. "God... Edward.."

"Edward?" He called again, and I groaned into Bella's skin.

"We... really... should stop."

"Please... please don't stop." She whispered, panting softly in my ear and arching in me.

I panted against her again as the knocking picked up. "I should at least tell him to go."

She sighed, dropping back on the bed. "Ok." She wiggled out of her underwear and tossed them to me. "But you better come back soon."

I laughed and caught the soaking fabric and shoved them into my back pocket. "Always, baby."

I opened the door and poked my head out. "Hey Dad."

He sighed, and his posture slumped a little. "Is everything alright? You told me to come right away."

I nodded, "Yeah, there was something, but she's okay now. Can we talk later though? She's napping and I don't want to leave."

He nodded, still looking frazzled and sighed. "Yeah... yeah... just... I'll be in my office downstairs."

"Okay. Sorry."

He brushed me off and smiled. "Don't worry about it son." Then he disappeared down the stairs.

I shut the door and turned back to Bella. "You'll have to keep quiet."

She nodded, throwing off the covers so I could see every perfect inch of her body. "Promise."

I grinned and crawled on top of her. "well, hey there.'

"Hi." She grinned, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"I missed you." I told her as I ground my hips into hers and felt her wetness soak through my boxers.

She moaned, pushing back against me and hooking her fingers in the elastic of my boxers. "May I?"

I rolled my eyes and pushed my face into her shoulder. "Duh."

She slid her hands under the hem and reached around to grab my ass, pulling me closer. "You may have to kiss me or give me something to bite on so I don't scream." She whispered breathlessly.

"My shoulder." I whispered as she pushed my boxers down and I ground against her. "Fuck..."

She nodded, panting in my ear as her legs came up to wrap around my waist. "Edward, love... please."

I nodded against her, and pushed into her slowly. Guhhhhhhh so fucking tight. I held still for a second before I pulled out almost all the way and pushed quickly back into her. Fuck. Bella tensed around me and, I held still for a second to make sure she was okay. She ran her hands over my back and pulled me closer. "Please..."

I nodded, and kissed her again before pounding into her with everything I had. I definitely wasn't making this easy on her.

Her arm tightened around my neck and she moaned against me. "Fuck, Edward..."

"Bella, do it... cum around my cock. Do you feel it? Baby are you gonna cum."

"Mmmmm...mmmm... Edward..."

"Bella..." I groaned into her skin. I went harder and faster. I needed her to cum. I wanted to feel it. I wanted my Bella. "Bella, cum. Now."

"SHI--" She started, but I clamped my mouth down on hers to stifle her screams as she came all over my cock. She kept fluttering around me, her pussy milking my cock as I exploded inside her. I loved her, I did. I knew we could make it through this.

Nothing would keep me from my Bella.

I pulled away from her swollen lips carefully, panting against her skin and placing random kisses when I remembered to. I pulled out of her slowly, and rolled onto my back. "I'm proud of you for trying not to scream."

"You..." She started, panting a little. "Have to fuck me like that again, when I can. Because.." She kept panting. "Ho-ly shit."

I laughed a little. "Yeah?"

She nodded vigorously, still trying to catch her breath. "Uh huh."

I leaned over and pulled her against my chest. "I kinda love you, you know."

"I kinda love you too." She smiled.

"Good," I grinned. "Now, come cuddle before I talk to my dad."

"Mmk." She snuggled closer to me, pushing her face into my shoulder. "Did we scare Smith away?"

"Smith!" I called. He bounded out of the bathroom and onto our bed, wagging his tail. "Here he is."

She smiled and sat up to ruffle his fur before leaning back against me. "I love our family."

I kissed her forehead. "We do have a good one."

"The very best." She said, pushing her forehead under my chin.

I brushed the hair from her forehead, and looked down at her as best I could. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm ok. Do you have to go? Can't you call him, or text?" She asked, pulling me more tightly to her.

I furrowed my brow and gave her squeeze. "Well, I was just going to tell him what happened. Do you want to talk to him?"

"No, but I don't want you to leave..." She blushed. "Can I come with you?"

I nodded. "If you want. Otherwise, I'll just call."

"Either way, I just can't be away from you."

"Well, fuck... just hold me for a while so we can figure shit out." I teased, pulling her closer to me.

"Okay." She snuggled closer and kissed the skin just under my collar bone. "I love you. Thank you."

I kissed her forehead and hummed a little against her skin. "I didn't do anything, but I love you too."

"You're here. Thank you for being here, for staying."

I rolled my eyes. "I told you I was gonna."

"I know, but... still. Thank you." She whispered, nuzzling her face into my neck. "Thank you for picking me to be your Mrs. Cullen."

"Thanks for letting it happen."

Bella nodded against me and we fell asleep shortly after. I was hard to believe in times like that that we would ever have to face a moment without each other.

I couldn't let that happen.

I would do anything to protect my Bella.

**BPOV**

Edward gave me something I never thought I would have.

Hope.

He made me feel like we really could beat this, that whoever it was wouldn't win and get the last piece of his twisted puzzle: me.

I was jostled away by Smith pawing roughly at my bare arm and accidently scratching the side of my boob. Ow. Double ow.

"Mmm... baby?" I murmured as i draped more of myself over Edward's bare chest.

I felt him sigh against me. "Mhmm?" He mumbled, not moving an inch.

"I think Smith needs to go outside."

"Go for it." He murmured with a voice thick with sleep, still not budging at all.

"Ew. Way to buck up and be the man in the relationship." I teased, sitting up.

His arm moved and he patted the mattress, searching for my body. "Love you... baby."

"Uh huh." I said, rolling my eyes. "Edward, where are my pants?" If he was making me get up, I was going to keep him half awake as long as I could.

"Under the bridge."

I laughed. "Edward I can't take out Smith wearing one of your shirts and nothing else. That may be a little suspicious to your dad."

"Whose pants are these?" He asked, rolling his body half off the bed and waving a pair of faded jeans up in the air.

My body twisted towards him, looking at the jeans. "Yours."

He tossed them in my direction before flopping himself back down against the pillows. "Close enough."

I threw on Edward's faded Metallica t-shirt and his jeans. I felt gross. I bent down and sniffed the thigh of his pants. Ew, he needed to do laundry. "COME ON SMITH!" I yelled, and grinned when Edward groaned.

Smith and I walked downstairs and the cops on duty almost looked stunned to see me functional. I opened up the sliding glass door and Smith darted outside. I hadn't been out there since.. well, since I'd been at the cottage. I couldn't, especially not alone.

I wandered back through the kitchen and around to the room beside it - Carlisle's office. The door was shut and I sucked in a breath as I knocked.

"Come in."

I opened the door slowly, running my hand through my hair. Damn that habit was contagious. "Dr. Cullen?" I asked softly, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind me, locking it. I didn't want Edward here, or rather I didn't want him to hear what I was going to say. His eyes shot up from the paperwork on his desk and he smiled warmly.

"Bella, how are you feeling sweetheart? Sit, please."

I bit my lip and nodded, taking a seat as instructed. "Carlisle, do you ever have dreams that are so real... that you're not sure if they are, or if they're just made up?"

"Sometimes... what did you dream about?"

"Did you ever hear of a guy named Phil? From either my dad or my mom."

"I have, but Bella, that was well before you were born. Are you... you're having dreams about this man?" He asked, his body visibly tensing as he leaned forward a bit, towards me.

I took a deep breath. "My mom told me a little about him. When I started high school she sat me down and told me about the kind of boys that were worth my time and those that I should stay away from. She used Phil as an example of the kind to avoid."

He nodded. "Yes he was definitely one to avoid." He sat back against his chair, folding his hands a thinking a moment before speaking again. "Can you tell me why you're thinking of him?"

"I've... at least I think..." the words were jumbling up in my head before I could even get them out. "I've been seeing a pair of eyes... in my nightmares..." I exhaled slowly letting my chest depress as I let out the air. "I've been having really bad nightmares since everything happened here."

He nodded again casually. "That makes sense. But what would this have to do with Phil?" He paused, turning his head in thought before the lightbulb seemingly went off and he turned back towards me. "Unless... Bella, do you think that--"

"EdwardandIsawhimtoday." I spat out, wheezing a bit. "That's why Edward called you; I freaked out and went blank again... completely just... blacked out. That's... happened a lot, lately."

His voice was calm as he nodded. "Where did you see him?"

"Gas station. I'm not sure which town we were in." I said, steadying my breath. Carlisle always had a calming presence and it was nice to see he seemed unphased. Maybe I was wrong, maybe it wasn't him. Maybe my dreams were just that and not repressed memories.

He moved around his desk to sit beside me. His hand stretched out and he placed his hand comfortingly on my leg. "I think it would be good if you told an officer about this, so they can look into it. Even if it is just a hunch, he's close by." He reassured me, patting my knee. "I'm glad you told me."

I nodded slowly. "I feel... kind of uncomfortable telling them. I mean, what if I'm wrong? I don't want them to think I'm lying."

"They won't sweetheart, they'll just look into it. If it's nothing, then it's nothing. I want you to be safe, and if you have a bad feeling about this then I'd rather look into it."

"I... I don't know." I said still feeling unsure. "Maybe... maybe I should just go somewhere for a bit? Like Alaska or something."

"If that would make you feel more comfortable, we could go." He said, nodding.

"No.. I mean, just me. You, everyone will be safe once I'm gone. Whoever this is, just wants me."

He shook his head, moving closer to me and leaning down to look at me head on. "Bella, I don't think you understand. You are a part of my family. You are my daughter. If someone hurts you, _I _will make them pay. I will protect you until the end. I will not let someone hurt you, be it my son or a crazy person. I will not let any harm come to you."

Ugh, this was where Edward must get it from. I sighed and nodded. "Then at least, please talk to Edward for me. He seems to think he can take down whoever this is - on his own. And I don't want to see him get hurt trying to be a knight in shining armour - especially against someone like this."

He nodded, smiling reassuringly. "I will. Don't worry about Edward."

I nodded, moving to stand. "So... I guess. I mean... is there one officer in particular I should talk to?"

"You wait here, I'll find one." He said, standing up and walking out the door to grab someone.

I nodded and sat in silence fidgeting with my hands. It wasn't long before Carlisle came back in with officer Troy who had taken over as interim Chief of Police since my dad's death. They were still looking at trying to recruit someone from the Port Angeles PD or even Seattle to help since crime overall had gone up since my dad had died, but so far Officer Troy seemed to be doing okay. I mean... no one else had died.

Ugh. My stomach churned at the thought of anyone else, especially someone I knew having to go through what I had. I smiled weakly up at the new chief. Carlisle patted my shoulder and said he would be just outside. I nodded, and turned to the cop. He sat on the edge of Carlisle's desk, looking at me like everyone else had the first few weeks; a mixture of sympathy and uncertainty - unsure of how to approach me, like I was a cheetah or wounded rabid beaver.

Or something.

But really, how _would _you approach a wound rabid beaver?

"Dr. Cullen said you wanted to talk Bels?" He asked, his voice soft. I sighed and nodded. I had known nearly everyone on the force my entire life. "You were friends with my dad awhile, right Dev?" I began, informally. He nodded. "I went to school with both your mom and dad."

"And a guy named Phil right?"

His head turned sideways and his brows furrowed. "Phil? As in the guy your mom dated before your pop?" He asked skeptically. I nodded, letting out a breath. "Yea."

"Yea, I knew Phil. How do you know about him?"

"Mom... told me a little about him, once."

The crease in his forehead deepened and he moved to sit in the chair beside me. "What'd she tell you?"

"Not a lot. She... seemed a bit skiddish. She just said I should never date someone who thinks it's okay to put his hands on me."

He nodded. "Yea. She was right."

"Did he... I mean. Did he ever like... threaten her or anything?"

"Bels, what's this about? Where's this coming from?" He asked, trying to speed up the conversation. I couldn't though; I had to go slower.

"I just... I need to know if he ever threatened mom or dad."

He shook his head, pursing his lips. "Not that I remember. I mean, he got into trouble a few times for roughing her up, and then when your dad came around, there were a few scuffles between them. But after everyone graduated, nothing carried over that I ever saw or heard about."

"Oh." I said pulling my bottom lip between my teeth.

"Why?" He pressed again.

"I just.. I've been having these dreams about a pair of eyes from that night. And today when Edward and I went for the drive, we ran into him. And... and..." I felt my heart rate accelerating and my head began spinning. I swallowed hard, trying to push the panic aside. "Dev... I mean..." I said, practically panting and trying to stop the dizziness show down my pulse.

"Bels?" He asked leaning forward grabbing my shoulder. "And I think it was him." I said before my mind went blank and I spun back into the blackness.


	34. Chapter 34

**a/n: belzo... could it be???**

**I dunno...I'm confuzzled...**

**I think... YES! It's an update!! :D**

**Update??? Where????? :D**

**RIGHT HURRRRRRR!**

**OH MY GOD!!!! I'm soooo excited :D :D**

**You know who probably isn't? SMeyer - the lady that owns these characters and despises citrus.**

**So much so, that she's made it her duty to prevent it in BD: The Movie. Guess Teds'll just have to be the 109 year old virgin.**

**Not as far as our readers or our fanfic is concerned :P**

**Duhhhhh....shall we let them get to it?**

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* * *

**EPOV**

I woke up a little bit later to someone shaking me. "Edward? Edward, wake up!"

I groaned. "What, Bella?"

"No, Edward, it's your mother. Wake up."

My eyes snapped open and I turned to my mother. "What's wrong?"

Her eyebrows were furrowed, and she looked like she didn't know where to begin. "Sweetheart, it's Bella."

"Bella? What Bella?" I asked, confused. I was about to get up when I realized I was still naked. Not so good.

She shook her head and patted my shoulder. "She's downstairs in your father's office. Come down when your ready."

I waited for my mother to get out before pulling on some jeans and racing down stairs. I flung open the door to my dad's office, not paying attention to the officers telling me not to go in there. Yeah, fuck that shit.

"Bella?" I called softly, making my way over to her slowly.

"Edward?" She voice was rough and hoarse, and it killed me that she was in that kind of pain.

I nelt down in front of her, pushing the hair from her face. "It's me, baby. What happened?"

She flushed slightly, then looked up at Officer whoeverthefuck behind me. "I fainted or something. I... I'm not quite sure exactly."

I ran my fingers over her face and stood, holding my arms out to her. "C'mon. We'll get Smith and have some dinner."

She pulled herself into my arms, her legs wrapped tightly around me, and whispered into my neck. "Can we eat in our bubble?"

I nodded against her and rubbed my hand down her back. "Yes, love. Of course."

She nodded. "Okay."

I held her close to my chest and we made our way into the kitchen. I put Bella down on the counter and moved to the fridge. "What do you feel like love?" I asked over my shoulder.

"Um. Pastrami." She replied, sounding a little bit lost which scared the shit out of me.

I nodded, pulling out the lunch meat and grabbing the bread. "Provolone or American?"

"Provolone, please." She let out a shaky sigh, so I turned back to her. "Edward, can you just like... hold me for a sec?" She asked, her voice quivering.

I threw down the stuff and went over and pulled her into my arms. "You're okay, Bella. I promise, you're okay."

Her arms immediately wrapped around my neck and her face buried itself in my shoulder. "I told the cop... about the guy at the gas station." She murmured.

I sighed, nodding against her and running my fingers through her hair. "Good. They're checking on it, right?"

She nodded slowly. "I think so."

"Good." I said softly, pushing my face into her hair. "I love you, you know."

"Love you too. I'm so sorry Edward."

I pulled away and cupped her face in my hands. "Bella, there's nothing to apologize for."

She shook off my hands and her face found it's way to my shoulder once again. "So many things."

I shook my head, and held her tighter. "Nothing. Baby, you're fucking perfect. Look at our boy. He's fucking perfect."

She laughed a little and sniffled. "We didn't make him."

I laughed at her laughing and looked down at him. "We might as well have. Look at how awesome he's been for us."

She nodded slowly. "Yea, that's true." She sucked in a deep breath, then turned to look up at me. "We should go for a walk. My legs are getting sore from doing nothing but laying down and having sex, which is really just more laying down. Do you think they'd let us?"

I nodded. "Baby, I'm Edward Cullen. I do whatever the fuck I want." I leaned in to kiss the spot just in front of her ear. "And more often than not, that's you."

She smiled, blushing a little and leaned in to kiss my cheek. "Don't talk about it unless you plan to bend me over this counter right now."

I grinned against her skin, then pulled away. "Alright, c'mon. We'll get a leash for the boy, and head out."

She nodded, then patted her stomach. "Food first?"

I laughed and turned back to the meat. "Sure."

I made sandwiches and we ate at the counter, not really saying much and just hanging out side by side. A few officers came in and got coffee and I had to laugh at how blase they were at being here. It was like they'd lived here all their lives. I took my plate and Bella's then pulled her off of the counter.

"Ready, love?"

"Mhm. Let's go tell your parents we're leaving." She said, pressing her lips thoughtfully to my neck.

I shrugged, tugging her along. "WE'RE LEAVING!" I yelled, then smirked down at her. "There, they know."

"Edward..." She scolded.

I looked over at her and pulled her into my arms. "Hello, baby."

She leaned in to kiss me, then grabbed my hand and tugged me to the living room. "Let's go tell your parents, so they don't freak."

I pouted but let her pull me back to the living room. "But I told them."

She pulled me closer to her, and her hand slid around my waist and onto my back. "Edward, I fainted. I think I should tell them I'm going out."

"Okay," I sighed, running my fingers over her skin, and kissing her temple.

My parents were sitting close together on the couch, but broke apart when they saw us. "Hey, we're going for a walk."

She nodded in agreement, and leaned back into me. "Yea, just around the block."

My mother smiled at us and nodded. "Alright, you two. Take a phone. And Edward, put on a shirt."

I laughed, and smiled. "Yes, mother."

I tugged Bella behind me and left her in the foyer. "Wait here, I'll be just a sec."

I sprinted up the steps and threw on the first shirt I could find, then grabbed my phone and shoes. Bella had gotten the leash for Smith and was waiting by the door. I smiled over at her. "All set?"

She nodded, reaching out for my hand. "Ready."

I swung my coat over my shoulders and took her hand to head outside. "The cops seem comfortable." I laughed.

"Yea, you'd think they've lived here longer than me." She laughed.

"Longer than me." I agreed, bumping into her a little. "How're you feeling?"

"Okay. A little fuzzy, but okay. How're you?"

"Awesome." I replied, swinging our arms and watching Smith sniffing around. "He's gonna get so big."

"Yea." She said with a smile. "Do you think our college will let us live off campus, since I don't see them letting us have a dog or sharing a room in the dorms."

I looked over at her. "You don't want to live in a dorm and share a bathroom with messy, stinky girls?"

"No. I'd rather live with you and share a bathroom with one messy stinky boy." She said, making a face but grinning at me.

I laughed, leaning over to kiss her. "I'm neither messy nor stinky."

She kissed me back. "You are both. These jeans," She pointed to the ones she was wearing and fanned them out. "smell worse than dirty underwear." She told me with a laugh. "And you have like a hundred tshirts laying all over your room. You'd think to pick them up when I rip them off you, but evidently that doesn't cross your mind." She smiled.

I grinned back at her. "I"m not really thinking about much when we're like that, baby."

"Obviously." She whispered, leaning in to kiss me harder.

"I'll clean it up when we get home." I whispered, then looked around us. "We're not too far from Alice's if you want."

She shook her head and curled her body into my side, shaking her head. "Trying to pass me off already Mr. Cullen?"

"Never," I whispered as I pressed my lips to her hair. "I just thought you might like to see someone besides me."

She shook her head against my lips. "No. Especially not Alice right now; I don't feel like dealing with a big ball of sexual energy. Did you know that she has a list on the inside of her closet door of a checklist of places she wants to have sex with Jazz? When I saw it, she explained what it was without me even asking."

I blinked at her. "What? You're not serious."

"Ask him about it. Apparently his "reward" if he gets her to... _there _more than once per session, is he gets to pick the next place on the list."

I shook my head. "No way."

She nodded, and laughed. "We should start a list. First can be, Alice Brandon's lawn."

I looked over at her. "No way. She'd come out and tell me I'm not doing it right."

She laughed harder; in face she laughed so hard that she had to stop walking. "She... probably would."

I didn't think it was that funny. "She would. Then she'd probably try and show me how it's done."

That really got her; she started going at it again. She was laughing so hard she was gasping for breath.

Hm. Was I really that bad at this? Is that what this is code for? Either way, I was just happy she was laughing. I waited for her to finish, then cupped her face in my hands. "It's good to see you laugh."

She smiled up at me and nodded. "It feels good too."

I leaned in and kissed. "I love you. I love it when you're happy."

"We should still make a list." She decided.

Oh god. "So I can fuck you poorly in exotic locations?"

"Ew. So if I make a list, you'll get worse?" She asked, smiling up at me, and laughing some more. "That doesn't seem fair."

I pouted. "Yeah, you're right. It doesn't." I sighed, then tugged her back down the road. "So what's on the list?"

"I don't know. You go first." She said, pausing to sit on some random person's lawn.

Smith and I looked at her. "What're you doing?"

"Taking a break to enjoy the fresh air before we head back."

"Oh," I said, plopping beside her and pulling Smith into my lap. "Well, I dunno. I never really thought about where we did it. Just that we did it."

She laughed quietly. "I was semi-kidding."

I shrugged. "Okay. I think we should get new sheets, though. The ones we have are chafing my ass."

"We could just have sex more in the shower, or in your car."

I nodded. "We could. That would be different."

Bella put her head on my shoulder. "We could start using the broom closet at school for more than just making out."

I kissed the top of her head. "Yeah. We just have to watch that sink, though. You got all cut up last time."

She lifted her head and I watched her eyebrow arch. "Well someone dropped me."

"I know." I said, hanging my head a little.

She leaned over and I felt her lips press into my skin. "I applied for early admission to a couple schools. I should know in a week or two about Georgetown and Dartmouth."

I nodded. "Cool. Which one did you want?"

"Either one; I think I'll just be relieved to get in _somewhere _yanno?"

"Definitely. It'll be fun, I think. Just to be out of here and doing something different."

Bella nodded. "Should we head back?"

I shrugged, looking at the two officers trying to be inconspicuous down the street. "Nah, we can stay. No rush, love."

"Okay." She said with a sigh, her head once again falling to my shoulder. "I kinda miss school."

I laughed. "You do? The sex is that bad that you want to stop having it all day?"

"Firstly, we don't have it all day. We've had it... _once _today. And I clearly remember someone promising I'd be thoroughly fucked at least twice a day." She paused. "Secondly, if it was all day, I wouldn't be missing school so much." She said with a small laugh.

I looked up at the sky. "There's still time. But someone told me once that my junk wasn't that great."

"Well, that's because that person hadn't been fucked in so long, she'd forgotten how awesome it was."

"Uh huh. Same girl who told me to get tips from Jasper." I shook my head, disgusted with myself and stood. "C'mon, we should head back. It looks like rain."

She gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek. "Maybe you just need to fuck her more to remind her why you don't."

"I don't think it'd matter." I mumbled, reaching for her hand. "We should get a cat for Smith."

She grabbed my hand and tugged me back to her, her lips barely brushing over mine. "If your junk wasn't the best, I wouldn't be begging for you to be in me all the time." Finally, _finally_ her lips pressed against mine. I fucking loved this girl.

I nodded, sucking on her bottom lip a little and keeping my eyes closed. "It's okay. It doesn't matter. I love you."

"No it matters." She whispered as her lips moved down my neck. "I love the way you feel, the way your cock fits in me. The way your mouth moves over my body. You bring me over the edge, and it seems so effortless, like you can read my mind and know exactly how to touch me to make me cum for you."

I wrapped my arms around her and pushed my face into her shoulder. "I love being inside you." I told her. "I'll get better, I promise."

"It's already amazing. Edward, you make me wet just by holding my hand. You're amazing, your touch is incredible and I _love _when you cum inside me." She panted sightly, and pushed her hips into mine.

I put a hand on her ass and tucked her body into mine. "I love you so much. I want you to be happy, that's all I want." Why am I all of a sudden a pussy? Oh right, because my girl is convinced that she's going to die. Right. Just that little thing.

"Then all I need is you... and semi-frequently your cock inside me." I felt her smiling against me, and it made me want to hold on tighter. "I love you Edward, more than I ever thought possible."

"I love you." Don't leave me. Don't let me go.

She sighed a little. "This is totally cheesy, so feel free to tell me I'm a dork... but sometimes, I think my parents like... pushed me towards you. After everything. Like they knew I wouldn't be okay unless I had you; unless I was yours and had your love."

I grinned against her, and thought about how fucking stupid I had been about us. How fucking.... full of myself. "They always made us sit next to each other."

"Yea. And at first I just thought it was my mom wanting me to be with her best friend's son. Which, I mean... I never really fought.," she laughed. "She knew I had a crush on you. I think once Alice told her about the whole you avoiding me in school because I liked you, she backed off a bit. But I dunno... she had hope I think."

I poked her side a little. "That wasn't it, and you know it. Stupid fucking Emmett." I pushed my face farther into her shoulder and squeezed her tighter. "I wish we'd sorted this shit out years ago."

"Yea but we have this, now. And it's amazing and I'm never letting this go." She told me with a soft squeeze. "You're it for me Edward Cullen. You have been since I was 7. No boy has ever compared, and no man ever will."

I sighed roughly into her hair. "You know, crying isn't very manly."

"So what? Being a nympho isn't very girly." She reminded me with a smile.

I sniffled against her hair. "Yeah, but it at least it's got an awesome outcome."

I moaned against her as I felt her fingers comb through my hair. "I love you. Cry as much as you want. I'm here. I'm here and I'm not leaving."

"I know. I know. I love you... so fucking much, you know? I've never said that to anyone else. I've never meant it the way I do when I say it to you."

She pulled away a little and smiled shyly up at me. "And how do you mean it when you say it to me?"

I smiled softly down at her, pushing the hair from her face. "Like... you're the only one I'll ever want to love. Like I was meant to love you. Like I wouldn't have known love if I hadn't had you. Like... like you're just fucking everything that's right in my world."

The blush in her cheeks was beautiful as she smiled up at me. "I was never meant to love anyone but you. I've never loved anyone but you. I will never love anyone like this. You're my everything; to some extent, you always have been."

"My life always revolved around you. Whether I wanted it to or not. You and I are meant to be. I love that. I love that there was no escaping it."

She bit her lip as she fished her keys out of her pocket and pulled them all off the ring. Then she got down on one knee. "Edward," She sighed, lifting her eyes to mine and bending the metal disk a little. "I have loved you even through the phase where I thought you had kooties, and when I thought you hated me. I've wanted to kiss you since second grade and you've always been worth any risk to my heart. You're the only person I've ever loved and ever want to love." She tightened it a bit more. "This is my promise, that if you'll have me, I will be yours forever. I will love no one but you; I will always be faithful, and I will always be there to compliment your cooking, and remind you to do your laundry. I want to be yours forever. Will you be mine?" She asked, holding up the key ring.

I sniffled, wiping the stupid tears from my eyes and trying to play this shit off. Cause seriously, I officially had a vagina. "Yeah."

She gave me this huge fucking smile, and pushed the bent key ring the rest of the way on my finger. She stood, then wrapped her whole body around mine and pressed her lips forcefully to mine. I fucking loved her. This... this is what we'd been waiting for. This was why we belonged together. She just fucking _fit _in my arms.

I pulled away grinning, and kiss her neck. "Wasn't that... uh, wasn't that supposed to be my job?"

"Probably. But I've always loved you more, so it's fitting that I do the proposing." She asked, smiling up at me again.

I laughed humorlessly. "Not true. No one has ever loved anyone as much as I love you. Not even you loving me. My heart literally feels like it's going to burst, that's how much I love you."

She took my hand and placed it over her heart. I could feel it thumping in her chest, and I sighed. She was here. "Feel that? So does mine."

I clenched my fingers over her skin, but never broke eye contact. "I can't do any of this without you."

"Well now you're not allowed." She grinned, tapping the make shift ring on my finger. "You're stuck with me now."

I shook my head, seriously then leaned in to kiss her. "Really, I can't. Without you... there's no point for me."

"My proposal was serious. As far as I'm concerned we're engaged now. No way out, Cullen." She whispered, kissing me. "You've got me, forever."

I grinned down at her and kissed her again. "That's all I fucking need, Mrs. Cullen."

**BPOV**

It started sprinkling, just as Edward had predicted but I wasn't ready to leave the outdoors. "Let's bring Smith home and then hang out, outside. Do you mind?"

He shook his head against my forehead. "No. We can sit in the garage if you want."

"No, outside." I argued as we started back towards the house.

"Okay, outside then."He said pressing his lips against the side of my head.

We held hands all the way back to the house as the drizzle turned into light rain as we approached the front steps. After wiping our feet, and making sure Smith's paws were clean we opened the door and walked through the house.

Cops were swarming. It was like a platoon had landed. The fuck was going on?

I heard Carlisle's voice, coming from his study and I tugged Edward towards it. I knocked and Carlisle looked up, relieved.

"Oh, thank goodness. Esme! They're here!"

I looked at Edward. "Yea... we just got back." I said, almost questioning his tone.

Esme ran into the room, looking completely frantic and glaring at Edward. "What in the hell were you thinking?" She didn't give him a chance to respond before firing off another question in rapid succession. "Do you have any idea how worried we were?"

He eyed her cautiously, as if unsure what to make of this frazzled version of his mother. "We were just around the block. Talk to the two goons tailing us. We were fine."

"Anything could have happened to you." She huffed, folding her arms at her chest.

"But... you said it was okay, for us to go..." I was so confused. So yes meant no, all of a sudden?

Carlisle's voice was the calm in the storm as he shook his head and smiled warmly. "It's fine. You were gone for two hours, and we were worried. No harm done, right Esme?"

Esme dropped her defensive stance and took a deep breath before approaching me and wrapping one arm around my shoulders. "None. Absolutely none. I'm so sorry, dear."

I wrapped my arms around her. "I--I'm sorry; I didn't realize we were gone so long."

"It's fine... it's okay... I'm just so relieved you're safe." She sighed, turning to give me a full hug and rubbing my back gently.

"Yea, we're good. The cops were right down the street, and Edward had me." I replied turning to grin at him. "But we're kind of water logged. Is it ok if we head upstairs?"

Carlisle nodded, smiling towards us. "Of course, you two. Really, no harm done."

Esme waved her hand in the air, taking another breath. "Relax... everyone just.. relax." She said as if reassuring herself more than us.

Carlisle laughed and moved closer to his wife, kissing her temple softly. You could see her relax immediately against him and I wondered if that's how Edward and I looked when we were together, _really _together.

"Oh, go get in the shower you trouble maker." Esme said, laughing lightly as she waved her hands in front of her, shooing him away.

Edward chuckled, shaking his head as he put a hand around my shoulder and led me out of the room. "Now, I'm a trouble maker." He whispered into my ear as we made our exit.

"Mhm. And see I'm not the only one who brings up your hygiene." I said smirking and pulling him by his shirt for a kiss as we rounded the staircase.

"I am completely hygienic. I don't know what you're referring to." He laughed, pulling me further into his side.

We walked up the stairs, him trailing behind me, gripping my hand. We moved silently into his room and he locked the door behind him. "I guess this means no going to play in the rain then." I sighed sitting on his bed and leaning back on my elbows.

He gave me a sideways glance as if utterly confused as to why I would shoot down the idea. "Why not?"

"Because they totally freaked out that we were gone so long." I said leaning back and laying flat against the bed.

He shrugged, slowly crawling over my body as I followed and leaned further back. "So? It's only the backyard. They can see us and make sure we don't like... beat each other up. It'll be like we're five again."

"But if they look, how will I fuck you on the tire swing?" I replied, smirking in his direction.

"I didn't know tire swings were made for fucking." He retorted with a sly grin.

"Duh. Get with the program." I stated, craning my neck up to kiss him.

He chuckled before meeting my lips with a quick, soft kiss "Sorry, Love. What was I thinking?" He asked, kissing my nose playfully

"Obviously not about all the fun we could have on your tire swing."

His voice dropped to a husky whisper as his lips hovered over mine. "Obviously not." He mumbled, before pressing his lips to mine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him down so I was flat against the mattress and he was flat against me. "Actually.. maybe here's better. Warmer and less potential of having an audience."

"Probably... although somone said something about the shower..." He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at the innuendo.

I couldn't help the laugh that busted out. "Someone's getting creative.. you sure you don't want me to get a pen and piece of paper so we can make a list?"

"Positive." He nodded, kissing my lips softly, letting them linger.

I smiled under his lips, pulling his mouth against mine harder, deepening the kiss. He pulled back after a moment, breathless. "So, bending me over your desk, or taking me from behind in the shower?" I murmured as my lips descended along his jaw and down the column of his neck.

He peered around, looking at his desk. "Shower. There's too much shit on my desk."

"So much for tossing it all on the floor in the throws of passion." I said, rolling my eyes and laughing quietly.

His teeth nipped at my earlobe as his voice dropped and deepened. "Maybe I like it wet." He mumbled, his mouth kissing down my neck.

I groaned, pushing my body up against his. "Why do we still have clothes on?" I asked, shutting my eyes.

"Because we collapsed?" He guessed, shrugging against me as his lips trailed further down, wrapping around one of my nipples through my shirt. The pleasure was fucking incredible, even through 2 layers of clothing.

My eyes shot open and I pushed him off me lightly. "Race you to the bathroom." I grinned, awkwardly ripping off my shirt and reaching down for the buttons of my jeans.

"Oh, you're gonna lose, spider monkey." He taunted, zooming past me.

I laughed, chasing after him and jumping on his back just as he stepped through the bathroom doorway. "VICTORY IS MINE!" I cheered as he spun around locking the door.

"You cheated." He accused, tilting his head to the side to look up at me.

"No... no I used transportation to get from point a to point b. We never ruled this out."

"So I could've jumped on your back? That's what you're telling me?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow as he reached to turn on the shower, laughing.

I nodded, sliding off his back. "Yep." I said quickly, kissing his nose. "You just didn't think of it first."

"Because I would've crushed you." He stated seriously, throwing his shirt off and watching it land in the small space under the sink.

My lips latched onto his adam's apple, as I expertly removed my bra blindly, and wiggled out of my underwear. He groaned, sliding his hands up and down my back, palming my ass. I moaned at his touched and pulled back looking at him with heavy eyes. "I'm not sure how quiet I'll be able to be." I admitted as my mouth trailed along his jaw.

His eyes shut almost completely, and I could barely make out the slivers of green. "I don't think it matters... the shower. It's a bathroom." He panted, leaning down to kiss me and reassure me of our discretion.

I nodded, reaching around him to turn on a bit of cold water while he dropped his jeans and boxers. When the water was a little cooler than scalding, I stepped in and felt him push against me. The combination of the ice cold tiles against my breasts, mixed with the warmth of Edward and his erection pressed against my lower back sent my body into over drive. I turned around and we both took turns soaking under the spray as our tongues battled and our hands roamed roughly over each others' skin. His hands slid down the flat of my stomach and I moaned in surprise as I felt one of his fingers curl and push into my core. "Fuck Bella... so wet for me, already." He panted moving his lips along my cheek. "Turn around, my cock needs to fuck your tight hole." I felt myself getting wetter at his demand and did as instructed, once again pressing the front of my body against the cool tiles. One of his hands moved up to move my hair to one side, as his lips hovered over my ear. "I'm going to fuck you, and you're going to scream." He growled. Before I had a chance to respond he thrusted into me. I yelped loudly as he pounded into me hard and fast, not giving me time to adjust. "Take it. Take me. Feel me. This is how I love you." He huffed into my ear, sucking on the spot just below my earlobe as he moved in and out. I moaned, and cried out his name, curling my fingers in a desperate attempt to grip something, anything as he continued his assault on my dripping wet core. It wasn't long at all before I felt my walls begin to flutter.

I couldn't stop the gutteral noises that were coming out. He cock felt so good, even as it tore me apart. "FUCK EDWARD JUST LIKE THAT FUCK! FUCK!" I screamed. Before I realized what was happening, his hand was moving and two fingers were circling my clit, pressing down hard. "Cum Bella... milk my cock. You know how much I love when your tight pussy squeezes my shaft." He yelled, moving his head back. I only lasted a few more thrusts before the combination of his cock and his magical fingers had me seeing stars and cumming _hard _on him. "EDWARD UNGH!! FUCK... I'M CUMMING FOR YOU BABY... FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" He grunted bending me at the hips and gripping my shoulder with one hand as his other hand tightened on my hip. "GOD BABY!" He groaned. "I love fucking your tight... fuck... you're so fucking tiiiiiiiiiiiiiight." He grunted. I moved my legs closer together and he moaned my name even louder. "FUCK Bella... are you trying to fucking kill me... God, that pussy... so tight." He pumped twice more before screaming my name and I felt my second orgasm take over, gripping him like a vice as he pulsed and let go inside me. He moved in and out slowly, letting my fluttering core squeeze ever bit of cum from him.

He pulled me up, turning me to face him. He didn't wait for us to catch our breaths before pushing his lips against mine. "Baby, I love you. I fucking love you." He said as he pulled away, letting our lips barely touch as he spoke. I nodded, puffing out a quiet "me too," as I tried to calm my heart rate.

We finished showering, somehow remembering to actually wash up between kisses and gropes. We wrapped each other up in towels once we were done and had shut off the water. My arms slid around his damp waist, just above where his towel set. My lips found his again and we kissed slowly, lazily. As if we had all the time in the world.

But I knew our time was limited. He was getting closer. I could feel it.

"No one will ever satisfy me like you do." I sighed against his mouth.

He grinned, his breath fanning against my lips as he spoke. "No one will ever get the chance to." He confirmed, inching closer. "You're mine." He stated matter-of-factly before _finally_ kissing me.

"Then I guess it's a good thing that the man I was meant to be with can make me cum multiple times." I murmured, smiling with satisfaction.

He nodded, tilting his head and advancing back towards my lips. "Very good. So very good. I fucking love you."

"I fucking love you too." I mimicked, going in to kiss him again. He pinned me between him and the sink as we kissed in feverish, breathless kisses. Our tongues excavating each others' mouths. I pulled away reluctantly, my cheeks flushed as my chest rose and dipped heavily. I swallowed, my eyes darting from his lips up to his eyes and back to his perfect mouth, biting my lower lip. "I don't want to stop kissing you, but I think it might be suspicious if at least one of us doesn't go downstairs soon."

"Fuck it." He growled, pushing his lips heavily against mine.

I couldn't resist him, especially when he seemed apathetic to the consequences of getting caught. We continued to kiss as if that's all we were ever supposed to do, for a while longer. He finally pulled back, resting his forehead against mine. We waited til our breaths had steadied before he pulled me close and led me out of the bathroom back into his bedroom. He shut the door, relocking it and similiar to the last time we were in here, I fell back onto his bed, tearing off my towel in the process. "I love our bubble."

"It's a good bubble. Sturdy."

"Mhm." I murmured, shutting my eyes and listening to the heavy rain pound against the window.

There was a soft 'woosh' and I felt the bed depress beside me. "You okay?"

"Mhm." I said, taking a deep breath.

"Whatcha thinkin about?" He asked, nudging me playfully.

"I think I should move my clothes in here."

I felt him shrug against me, his voice non-committal. "Okay..."

"Nevermind, it was a dumb idea." I said shaking my head, opening my eyes and moving to get up. "I'm... gonna go in there and find clothes to put on." I said hesitantly. Maybe I could do it, alone... maybe.

I'd never been that big of a scardy cat but I literally turned on all 3 lights before I'd closed the bedroom door. I let out a puff of air before going and turning on the closet light. I pulled on a fresh pair of underwear and yoga pants, followed by a bra and my dad's old FPD sweatshirt that my mom had "accidentally" shrunken, so that I could have it. The silence was deafening so I turned on the TV, blasting the news, which was tracking the latest storm. The Port Angeles/Forks area was expected to get up to 6 inches over night.

Awesome, maybe flooding. After I'd brushed my hair and pulled it up into a ponytail, I threw my hoodie over my head and laid back against my bed, trying to relax as I watched but didn't pay much attention to, the TV.

And then there had to be a fucking knock on the door.

"Yea?"

"Baby? You okay?"

"Yea, it's unlocked."

My eyes didn't move from the TV as I heard him push open the door. My eyes didn't stray from the boob tube until I noticed that his footsteps weren't continuing. I turned to look at the door, wondering if he changed his mind."Am I bothering you?" He asked, and edge of worry in his voice.

"No I was getting dressed." I stated flatly, leaning back against the pillows. "We're supposed to get half a foot of rain tonight." I said motioning with the remote in my hand to the TV.

"What's wrong?" He pushed, not moving from his spot in the doorway.

"Nothing. I'm just tired, I think. And I may be hungry." I said, glancing from the TV to him. "What's wrong with you?" I snipped, my question coming off a lot more bitter than I had meant.

"Nothing." He said looking surprised. "Come downstairs, dinner should be soon."

"In a sec. I'm just going to lay here for a bit." I said curling up in a ball facing the TV.

I heard his faint footsteps on the carpet, but it wasn't until I felt his hand press against my back, running lines up and down, that I realized he was right behind me. "Hey, what's wrong?" He murmured, once again the worry resonating through his question.

"Nothing... I'm just... tired. And worried. And our bubble is gone so everything is hitting me again." I admitted.

I felt the bed sink and creak as his arms slid around my waist. He pressed a kiss behind my ear, whispering, "It's not gone. It's never gone. It's you and me. Everything's gonna be okay, Bella, I promise."

"How can you promise what you don't know? You don't _know _everything's going to be okay."

He nodded against me, pulling me closer to him. "Yes, I do. I have you, and you have me and we're not letting anything happen to each other. That's the most important thing and that's all I care about. What else is there?"

I turned to face him, burying my face in his t-shirt, just laying there and listening to his heart beat. "Let's just stay in our bubble, after dinner with your parents okay?"

His hand rubbed my side affectionately, for a bit before sliding down to my thigh and hitching my leg over his hip. "Of course. I love you. I fucking love you."

"And you'll hold me? All night?"

"All fucking night. I'm right here." He assured me, squeezing me tighter.

"And we'll watch cheesy movies all night and play with Smith?" I asked burying my face further against him.

"If you want, I'm down." He chuckled, pressing his lips against my forehead.

"And you'll tell me more stories about how awesome our future is gonna be." I said, yawning against his neck.

"Yes, love." He agreed, tracing patters along my back gently. I let myself melt into his touch and get lost in my own head for a moment. The silence swirling around like a breeze.

"I... I wish my parents could be here to see this; see us, like this." I replied sadly - regret that it had been them and not me bubbling back up to the surface.

"They can see you, love. They'd be so fucking proud of you. You're amazing. You're so amazing." He murmured, his lips pressing against my forehead as he spoke.

I felt the tears welling up and I pushed my face into the crook of his neck, wrapping my arms around him tightly, scared that the tears would spill over if I made a peep.

"It's okay, let it out." He whispered, pulling me impossibly closer. "Cry as much as you want. I'm here and I'm sure as hell not leaving."

He was too good to me. I didn't deserve him. The tears fell effortlessly and the crying quickly turned into sobbing as I drenched his neck and shoulder. My body shook and he just held me tighter, planting kissing in my hair and against my temple. We laid there as I let go against him, until there was a light rap on the door and Carlisle stepped through the doorway. I pulled away from Edward quickly, rubbing my eyes with my sleeves. He glanced from me to Edward solemnly, with an edge of awkwardness - which was completely unlike him.

"Dinner will be ready in about 5 minutes. Your mother and I would love it if you both joined us."

"Yeah... we'll be there in a second." He replied, moving my arm from around my waist and rubbing his eyes, sniffing the air.

I glanced at Edward after Carlisle had left. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay." He answered, wrapping his arm back around my waist. "You okay?"

I nodded slowly. "I'm sorry about that.. I guess I'm still a wreck... even in our bubble."

His hand moved up slowly to cup my jaw as he brushed my cheek tenderly with his thumb. "It's okay. Really. Don't apologize for that. Just let it the fuck out. You'll feel so much better."

I swallowed hard and grabbed his hand, kissing the palm of it before entwining my fingers with his. "You ready?"

"Always." He murmured, pressing his lips against my forehead.

We made our way downstairs hand in hand. Esme had gone all out doing a full spread. There was a huge fucking ham, and grilled potatos, and fresh salad, and asparagus, and fresh baked rolls. "Did I sleep through the holidays? Is it Christmas?" I asked, looking around at the dining table length full of food.

"No, no, sweetheart. We just went a little over board. Sit you two." She smiled, motioning for us to sit across from them.

Edward and I sat side by side with Esme and Carlisle on the otherside. "So Edward, remember Ms. Flemming's house that I was supposed to start working on this spring?" Esme asked casually as we all began plating dinner.

"Vaguely, why?" He shrugged, plating some mixed veggies and reaching to stab a piece of meatloaf.

"Well her and I were discussing initial plans. What rooms were a priority and whatnot. Did you know that bathroom tile makes things echo... _loudly_?" She asked glancing up at him with a raised brow and a smirk.

I died.

At the table, with my fork poking asparagus, I fucking died.

"I did not. But that's useful information." Edward replied, choking out a laugh.

"Yep, it's like singing in an empty church, echos... vibrates... all through a building."

"Good to know." He nodded, looking up and right into his mother's eyes with a wild grin. He didn't seem the least bit phased whereas I was shaking at the thought of what she was eluding to. "Thanks, Mom."

I stared at my plate. I must have been the color of a fire truck. She heard us fucking. She was calling us out. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Conversation was light, I think. I wasn't paying much attention to anything. All I could think was Edward's mom heard me cum... for her son. Ugh. "So Bella, we were thinking. Next week is Christmas. Maybe we should leave Christmas Day and go away for a week to celebrate New Year's. Any ideas as to where?" Esme asked sweetly.

I peeked my eyes up from my plate and shook my head. "Not really, just somewhere with sun." Both her and Carlisle laughed, nodding in agreement. "Maybe New Zealand? Or Australia? We could go snorkeling at the Great Barrier Reef!" Esme shouted excitedly. "Edward? What do you think?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Won't it take like... a stupid long time to get there? Why not like... Virgin Islands or something?"

"We could, I suppose. I just thought it might be good to get further away..." Esme said, glancing at me and trailing off.

"The further the better." I sighed, nodding in agreement.

"Okay. Whatever. I don't care." He replied, shaking his head noncommitally.

Carlisle chuckled, putting his fork down and shaking his head. "That's my boy."

I laughed with Carlisle and even Esme puffed out a quiet chuckle.

Once we'd finished eating I helped Esme clear the table quickly, hoping to avoid a conversation about what she heard.

Fortunately, nothing was said and Edward and I bound up the stairs after saying goodnight to both of them.

"So what movie do you wanna watch?"

"Something campy and total cheese." I said as I turned the lock on the door after seeing Smith dash into the bedroom.

"Hmmmm." He hummed, scanning his DVD rack. "There's... Along Came Polly?"

I nodded tugging off my sweatshirt and pulling down my jeans, crawling under his covers. "Sounds good."

He grabbed it from the shelf and walked over to his TV, popping it in the DVD player. "Ready?" He asked, walking over to where I was laying.

I nodded and he tugged off his t-shirt. I grabbed it from him before he could toss it to the floor and threw it on, unlatching my bra from under it. Once he'd stepped out of his jeans, he slid under the covers, reaching for me which I gladly complied with. He fast forwarded through the previews, and hit play on the menu screen. I threw one of my legs over his, snuggling up closer. The smell of him was all around me and it was intoxicaticating. "So, tell me about this great future we're going to have. Where are we going to live?"

"Uhh, probably where ever we go to college. Or we could just come back here. It depends."

"On?"

"Where we go, what we like better. But either way, we'll be so fucking happy. I mean, Baby, I get to be with you _forever_. Nothing's more awesome than that."

"This is true." I agreed, nodding against him.

Smith jumped up, looking a bit confused on where to lie, as I was completely tangled from head to toe in Edward. "I think I should move a bit, our son wants to snuggle too."

"Lift your arm." He suggested. I did as he said, and watched smith snuggle in the tight space between us.

"Boo. Now smith gets to keep you warm instead of me." I teased, pouting a little. "I can't believe I'm jealous of our dog."

He laughed, pressing his lips into my hair. "It's okay. We have to keep him warm. He's just a baby."

I snuggled against them both, laying my cheek on Smith's fluffy white fur. "We should have named him cottonball, in hindsight." I mused, staring at the TV but not really paying attention to the movie.

"My boy is not a rabbit." He stated seriously.

"I should hope not. I hear rabbits smell really bad." I laughed, rubbing my cheek against our puppy's belly.

"Told you he likes you better." He chuckled.

"He's just letting me lay on him. Doesn't he let you do that?"

His fingers tugged lightly on my hair, twirling it around them. "I never tried it."

"Well then he obviously does love me more then." I chided, lifting my head to look up at him and grinning.

His lips curved into a cheshire smile. "I've been trying to tell you." He teased, sticking his tongue out.

I laughed and shrugged slightly. "I guess it's really just a matter of who loves me more then: you or Smithy."

He leaned forward kissing the tip of my nose. "Me. Always me."

"You sure about that?" I smirked, leaning up and causing Smith to stir and move down to rest at Edward's ankles.

He tugged me closer to his body, kissing me gently. "Definitely."

I moved to straddle him, being carefully not to hit Smith as my leg moved across Edward's legs. I sat low enough to be able to lay with my head over his heart, hearing it thump and double thump. "I think we should sleep like this from now on." I murmured, the steady sound calming my entire body down.

"Sounds good to me, love." He agreed, his hands running delicately over my spine.

I felt like a lazy, fat cat as I sprawled out over him and laughed at the mental image. "I feel like Garfield."

He laughed against me, causing me to rock a bit. "Nah, you're not orange enough." He teased, poking my side.

"I could get a spray tan, like Lindsey Lohan. Then I could be Garfield." I spat back quickly, grinning.

"And I'd have to make you lasagna all the time?" He asked, pushing his lips against my forehead.

"Obviously. And we'd have to rename Smith, Odie."

He laughed, nodding his head in agreement. "Makes sense."

"And you'd have to be Jon Arbuckle by default then."

"Obviously."

"Hm.." I thought. "You know.. nevermind. Because then I couldn't kiss you, or gawk at you when you're walking around in a towel.. no no.." I said, shaking my head vigorously. "That will not do."

"You could; you just wouldn't be able to do anything about it." He teased, chuckling softly.

"Yea... that's not gonna work for me."

"Then why'd you bring it up?" He asked, tickling my sides.

"I was just tossing out the general idea." I laughed, squirming around over him. "We hadn't talked it through yet." I said, laughing harder as he continued to dance his fingers over my skin.

"It'll be awful hard to marry a cat, you know."

I was breathing heavily and rolled off, nodding in agreement. "And probably only legal in West Virginia."

"Probably." He laughed. "But I like human Bella the best anyway."

"Really? And why's that? You wouldn't like a four legged, furry orange Bella?"

He looked at me wide eyed. "No... no. Not... at all."

I laughed at his expression. "Just making sure."

"Uh huh." He grinned, rolling his eyes.

"You know.." I said, readjusting against his side. "I feel like we're getting dumber, not being in school."

His arms pulled me closer to him and I felt his head shake. "I don't."

"You don't?" I asked, surprised.

"No. I like just being here with you. I don't need... anything else." He answered, pulsing his arms around me.

I felt myself blush. "Awww... Mr. Cullen's going all mushy on me." I teased trying to hide my flushed cheeks.

He pressed his lips against my reddened face a few times, whispering, "I love you."

I couldn't contain my smile every time he said those 3 words. "I love you too." I whispered turning my face to the side so I could kiss his lips.

He grinned, nuzzling his nose against mine. "That makes me so fucking happy, you know."

"Nope, had _no _idea." I smirked, kissing him again.

"Well, now you do." He muttered before leaning in and moving his mouth against mine.

His arms wound around me pulling me closer as I deepened the kiss and threw my leg over his. We kissed for awhile.. making out like horny virginal teenagers... i.e: the time before Hawaii. I pulled away gasping for air. I could feel that my lips were slightly swollen and I looked at him through hooded eyelids. "You're so fucking good at kissing it's not wonder you have this false reputation at school." I said, laughing a little.

He nodded, letting out a heavy breath. "Well, that part's true."

"I'd prolly have made something up about you fucking me too if I'd had the chance to make out with you like this sooner. I see Jess in a completely new light now." I teased, grinning.

"That's not even a little funny." He said, shuddering against me.

"It's a _little _funny." I pushed, kissing him quickly.

"Have Stanley kiss you, then come talk to me."

"You'd like to see that too much." I laughed.

He chuckled, arching one eyebrow into his hairline. "My girl with her lips on Stanley? Not so much."

"Like it's not every guy's fantasty to see 2 girls making out?" I asked him, arching an eyebrow.

"Not with her. She's gross." He stated, shaking his head with disgust. "And now none of us are available, so I wonder what she'll do."

I laughed. "She was never hoping I was available. She was always on _your _nuts."

"Don't remind me." He groaned, shivering a bit with displeasure.

I pushed my lips to his and his face softened. "But now, they're mine. And I protect what's mine."

He laughed against me, pulling back just enough to speak. "I was never letting her have any anyway."

"Probably for the best. Wouldn't want them turning green and falling off." I said reaching down to cup them.

"Th-they would have, too." He stuttered, letting out a deep growl as I gave them a squeeze before letting go and smiling up at him.

"So... movie?"

He chuckled, kissing the side of my mouth. "It's been playing."

"Oh. Hm..." I murmured twisting to the side for his lips. "Well I guess background noise is important." I replied before kissing him again.

"Do you want me to restart it?" He asked, biting back a laugh.

"Mmm.. movie or music. I don't care, my lips aren't leaving yours once we decide."

"Then what does it matter?" He questioned, leaning back in to tease my lips with his own.

"It doesn't, we just need background noise." I said kissing him again.

"Okay, then." He acknowledged, rolling over to mute the movie. I grinned as he reached over and to our side, turning on his stereo. Kings of Leon sang through the speakers and his face realigned with mine. "I love you." I said cupping his jaw before pulling his face down and crushing my lips against his.

"I love you. Only ever you."

"Good." I said, kissing him again. Our arms tangled around each other and we kissed and nipped at each other until the CD had finished playing. "I'm really... never, going to get tired of doing this with you." I admitted, sucking my bottom lip into my mouth and feeling how puffy it was.

"I wasn't planning on letting you go, so this is good." He replied softly, sprinkling soft kisses over my cheeks.

"Did you want to go out with Jazz or anything? I feel like I've been hogging you from all your friends."

"No. I want to stay with you." He answered, knitting his brows together." Why, do you want to go out?"

"No, I want to stay here too." I said smiling up at him. "I just thought you might want to hang out with other testosterone or something."

"Nah." He replied dismissively, leaning down to kiss my swollen lips.

I smiled, kissing him again. "I hope you know that once we go back to school we're gonna have to switch all our classes to match."

He shook his head up and down not arguing the decision. "Definitely. I don't think I can let you not hold my hand all day anymore."

"Agreed. Everyone's going to be so disgusted. I'm just gonna like jump you in the halls. Tanya's going to have a shitfit."

"What the fuck ever. She can eat it for all I care." He scoffed.

I laughed. "Fair enough. Can we stop talking about her though, she's totally deflating how worked up you had gotten me."

His mouth moved slyly from my cheeks and down my neck, his voice getting lost in my skin. "I didn't bring her up."

"I wasn't implying you did." I sighed, tilting my neck to give him better access. "I know... you promised only twice a day... but how do you feel about making an exception..?" I panted against him, feeling his tongue dart out as he sucked on the curve of my neck.

"I remember saying... at least." He corrected.

I moaned pushing my hips against his, spreading my legs so he fell easily between them. "Is today one of those days where we can break..." I paused moaning as he bit down against my flesh. "Where we can break through the minimum requirement."

I felt him nod against me, his lips never leaving my neck as he spoke. "I think so."

My hand reached down, palming his growing erection through his boxers. "Just think?" I panted. "We can stop... if you want."

His breath was ragged as he mumbled, "Why would you think that?"

"Just checking. I don't want to pressure you.. into fucking me." I said breathlessly, as I moved my hand, and pushed my wet core against his boxers.

"You couldn't." He argued, shaking his head before leaning in to capture my mouth with his.

I groaned, feeling his hands slid under the t-shirt I was wearing and playing with my nipples. I arched my back up towards him and mewed which just seemed to spur him on. "Bella, I need to be inside you." He growled, his head dropping to my neck. I moaned at his forwardness and rolled us over so I was hovering over him. I sat up wiggling out of my underwear as he rushed to dispose of his boxers.

"I love when you fill me Edward. When you bury yourself and just _fuck _me." I purred against his lips. He groaned, cupping the back of my head and crushing my lips against his. He wasted no time pushing his tongue between my lips. I pulled back only when I was in desperate need of air, panting above him. In one quick motion I threw my shirt over my head and onto his floor, sitting above him completely naked.

"God you're beautiful." He whispered as his eyes raked over me up and down and up again. I felt myself getting wetter at his words. I felt myself blush and to hide it, I looked down at his throbbing cock, gripping it forcefully with my hand and hoisting myself above it.

I wasn't patient, I wasn't slow and sensual.

I just needed him. I need him to fill me and fuck me and feel like everything was back to normal.

"FUCK!" I screamed as I slammed on his shaft in one quick movement. His hands immediately flew to my hips, gripping me tightly. "Oh shit Bella!" He shouted, clamping his eyes shut and tossing his head back against the pillow. "Fuck, you're so fucking tight." He moaned, not lifting his head but thrusting his hips against me. I whimpered as I moved up on him and fell back down. My pace was fast and rough and Edward was groaning and shouting obscenities all the while.

"Edward, oh god.. oh god.. I'm so close. Make me cum!" I screamed, sweat glistening on my skin. His eyes shot open, finally. They were dark and his jaw was set; he had the determined look in his eye. The same one he always had when he was set on me milking his cock.

His fingers flew from my hipbone to my clit, rubbing frantic circles around it. "Bella. Cum for me. I want to give you my cum, but I can only do that if you grip me like only you can when you cum. DO IT!" he commanded seriously.

When he talked like that my body couldn't argue. One of my hands shot up to my breast pinching the nipple as I fell onto his cock once more ebfore tightening around him and holding both of us in place.

"SHIT SHIT BELLA FUCK!" He screamed, unable to thrust even once more. I felt my muscles completely locking him in and could feel him pulse inside me as he gave me just what I'd begged for.

We rode out our orgasms full before I collapsed onto my stomach and he rolled over, panting heavily. I turned my face to look at him.

"That plus the shower, completely makes up for the no-go with the tire swing today." I laughed, leaning over to kiss his sweaty shoulder.

He chuckled, kissing my forehead affectionately. "Good to know. You're fucking amazing by the way."

"So are you." I said sitting up. "I can't wait til we have our own place so I can just walk around naked after sex to get water."

"I think my mother would die if she saw you naked." He mused, laughing a bit at what I can only imagine was the mental image of it all unfolding.

"Me too." I laughed. "It's not bad enough that she heard us.." I said shivering at the thought.

"Eh, it's fine. She doesn't know what she heard anyway."

I looked at him, like _really... really_. "Of course she knows. She had you. She's _knows _what sex sounds like."

He puffed out a laugh and shook his head. "How does she know we were fucking? She doesn't."

"Why else, would we both be in the bathroom, shower running moaning out each others' names?"

"Painting?" He suggested with a shrug.

"With the shower on?"

"So we don't get fumigated."

I shook my head. "If that helps you sleep at night." I sighed moving out of bed and grabbing my hoodie and pants. "Can.. would you mind coming downstairs with me? I'm still kinda freaked out about going anywhere alone."

"Sure." He agreed, pushing himself up and out of bed. "Why are we going downstairs?"

"Water."

"Okay. Where's my shirt?"

"Mmm.. dunno." I said looking around for the one of his I'd been wearing earlier. "Maybe under the covers?"

"No worries. I'll get a new one." He said, like it was no big deal.

He threw on another t-shirt and we made our way downstairs grabbing some fruit in a container and two bottles of water before heading back up. We put the stuff we had grabbed from the fridge on his nightstand and I started peeling off my clothes while he locked the door, getting down to just my underwear before crawling back in bed. "So real movie time, this time?" I asked, grinning.

He laughed, shaking his head. "Okay. Why is it that you constantly have to be naked?"

"Soooooooooooorry. I didn't realize my body was that repulsive to you." I said grabbing my hoodie and throwing it back on.

He smiled, tugging off his own shirt. "I didn't say it was. I just wanted to hear some hot shit about how you love having your skin pressed up against mine."

"Yea, well I thought that was obvious since when I'm around you I seem to not be able to stay clothed for long." I stated turning to look at him.

He smiled somewhat smugly. "I know." He acknowledged, kissing me quickly. "I love you."

"Love you too." I murmured, kissing him again. "So what's the next movie in the lineup?"

"I dunno. I was just gonna put the same one on repeat." He laughed, shrugging his shoulders.

"Oh mmk." I said looking at him standing in his boxers. "Should I take off my sweatshirt?"

"Yes, please." He nodded adamantly.

I smiles and flung it off as he hit play on the remote and sank back into bed. "Better?" I asked, shifting so I was laying on half of him, my face turned towards the TV.

He wasn't even trying to be a discrete as he reached over and cupped my breasts fully, staring at them and licking his bottom lip. "Better."

I arched my back as he palmed them and the movie began. He wasn't rubbing them to turn me on or to get him off, he was massaging them as absentmindedly as he did when he played with my hair; it was an affectionate... grope. We watched the movie in silence. He would occasionally stop massaging my breasts but then start back up again and I'd periodically lean in to suck on his neck.

But none of it was to start anything more. It was to show affection. To show that we both _needed _to feel the other. The movie ended and he turned to look at me smiling. I returned the look. "Now what?"

He arched one eyebrow before wiggling them both. "Again?"

I laughed. "Are you kidding? Because you better not be."

His head shook and a grin appeared. "I'm not. Why would I be kidding? Chances are, I'm gonna fall asleep."

"During the fuck? Gee, thanks. Glad to know I can please you."

"Oh, that's not what I meant." He clarified, puffing out a laugh. "But yeah, we can do that again." He said positively, moving one hand to squeeze my breast and tweak the nipple.

I laughed, blushing. "No we can sleep. Sorry, evidently my mind is back to the 24/7 sex with Edward feed."

"I like this. I never said I didn't like this." He murmured as his lips descended along my neck.

"I like when you do this too." I said, closing my eyes and running my fingers through his hair.

I felt his cool breath fan against the damp spots his lips left in their wake, as he murmured, "You mean everything to me."

"Ditto."

He scooted his body down a bit, resting his cheek against my collar bone and taking a deep breath. "You smell nice."

I laughed. "Do I?"

He nodded against me, kissing the bone that was protruding from my skin. "Yeah."

I scratched his scalp with my fingers. "Why don't we just sleep? You can fuck me stupid tomorrow." I suggested, laughing quietly.

"I could. I probably will." He confirmed, nodding against me.

"To which?"

"Fuck you stupid."

I laughed and nodded. "Sounds good. Let's sleep then; we'll both need our energy."

I felt him shake his head against me. "Sleep." He replied, kissing my shoulder softly.

He nuzzled his face against my bare breast and wrapped his arms tighter around me as I absentmindedly ran my fingers through his hair and we fell asleep. I didn't know how much more of this I would get; but fuck if I wouldn't try and soak up every second of it.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N:  
Hey hey B to the elzo!**

**Hola Kelleroni! How goes it?  
SUPER! Especially since the greatest fanfic writer is FINALLY being recognized for being so awesome...**

**OMG ERNEST HEMINGWAY IS HERE????? HOW'D YOU BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE!?!?  
Okay, 1) Last I checked he didn't write fanfic... unless you know of hidden works? and 2) No, I am not Shirley MacLaine I do not correspond with the dead. I was referring to YOU and a certain EPOV that you have PERFECTED beyond even what (little) SMeyer, who owns these characters did with EPOV in Midnight Sun.**

***le blush* Well thanks, but THANK YOU to whichever one of you nom'd this here fic cause we really appreciate it :) We'd really like to make it to voting, so maybe you guys could amble over to the giggle snort awards and nom your little hearts out for me? Please? *smiles sweetly*  
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**Also, please note you aren't voting for the story (you can vote here: http : // gigglesnortawards(dot)mmmboptastic(dot) com), but rather for best EPOV and lets face it peeps, who writes better EPOV then theotherbella?**

**no one. that's who.**

**Thanks kels and you guys...you're the bestest :) (ps. if you want updates, check out my twitter: theotherbella)**

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**EPOV**

I woke up the next morning to the blaring alarm. "Bella... what the fuck is that racket?"

"You're fucking alarm." She complained, smacking to off before settling back against me.

I groaned and buried my head under the pillow. "Why... why? We haven't used that thing in weeks. What the fuck is this? Gremlins?"

"I don't know it's your alarm. You'd know if you set it."

"That's your job." I grumbled. This shit was not on me. All her deal.

"I'm not your fucking timekeeper. It's my job to shut it off in the morning, that's it."

I waved my hand in that general direction, not moving to look. "Same fucking thing. Now come say good morning."

"Hmm.. how do I do that again?" She smirked, brushing her lips teasingly against mine.

I grinned against her, then cupped the back of her head. "Just like that, yeah." I whispered, before pressing my lips decisively to hers. "Morning, Baby."

"That's all? Just a peck. Psh.. you used to be waaaaaay better at this when we were going to school regularly." She noted, giving me a shit eating grin.

I rolled my eyes. "We were there, and not... lying basically for two days. Forgive me." I said, leaning in to kiss her again.

"Just this once I guess I can let it slide.." Her lips pressed against mine slowly, moving only the way hers could and just how I liked it.

I sighed against her, and pulled away slowly. "So now tell me; why the fuck was the alarm on?"

"No idea. Your parents must have turned it back on." She yawned, rolling onto her back and scratching her stomach. She kinda looked like a cat.

"Why, though? Why would anyone do this to us?"

She shook her head, because apparently she was sticking to not knowing who set the alarm. "Maybe... we're going back?"

I lifted my head to look at her. "We are?"

"Well.. someone set the alarm so we'd be up for it..."

I groaned into the pillow. "I don't wanna go."

"Why don't you go ask? And I'll..." She yawned, which didn't really help her argument. "I'll sleep more." Then she proceeded to roll over and clutch my pillow tightly to her chest.

I groaned and pulled her out of bed with me. "No way. You're up if I'm up."

She attempted desperately to wiggle out of my grasp and get back to bed. "No.. sleep. Bed... come back."

I smacked her ass and carried her into the bathroom. "Nice try, baby, but it's not happening."

"I hate you right now."

I laughed and put her down, reaching over to turn on the shower. "You love me, always."

"Yea... yea..."

"You do." I said, matter-of-factly. "I know you do."

"You hope I do." She replied, stepping into the shower then grabbing my hand to pull me in behind her.

I nodded and kissed her shoulder as I pushed her under the spray. "You know, if my mom set the alarm, she probably saw your boob."

"Edward she knows we have sex. She's heard us. Her seeing my boob is whatever at this point." She seemed completely apathetic compared to before. I thought it would have at least freaked her out.

I laughed, kissing her eyes. "Okay, then. We'll be walking around naked in no time."

"I wouldn't go that far... unless you have plans of us moving out anytime soon." She whispered, her lips landing on my neck as she began placing wet, open mouth kisses.

"Soon enough." I murmured, as her hands started roaming over my back.

"I love our shower time." She murmured, her lips still brushing against my skin and making me shiver.

"mhm... it's pretty cool."

She laughed breathily, moving down to my shoulder and then across my collar bone. "Cool huh?"

I put my head on top of hers because it had been so fucking long since we'd been up this early. "So we're going to... school?"

"I don't know. You should check with your parents when we're done."

"Do you even want to go?" I whispered. I wasn't going to fucking make her. Forget that shit.

"It... might be nice." She said, planting a kiss against my adam's apple. "It may be good for us now that we're rock solid."

I sighed. Okayyy. "Sure. If you're up for it. We can go."

"I'm okay with it. It may be good to actually go to school at some point during our senior year, don't you think?" She asked with a laugh. Pshhh, me and my girl had straight A's, anyway.

"Ehhh, why? Baby, we have that shit in the bag." I said, smacking her ass then turning around to bathe, since apparently we were doing shit today.

"Yeah I thought the only thing on the agenda was you fucking me stupid."

"That, is the only important subject." I told her, passing her the shampoo over my shoulder.

I heard her squirt a little into her hand, and then those very same hands were pushed into my hair. "Mhm."

I grinned. "Well thanks, Baby. You didn't have to do that."

"Yea I did..." She said, and I could almost hear the smirk in her voice. I was about to turn around and ask her what the hell she was talking about when I felt her hand drift down my chest and wrap around my cock.

Holy. Shit.

I groaned against her and my eyes snapped shut. "Holy shit."

Bella started tugging at me in firm, hard strokes as her lips moved against my neck again. "Can you cum for me?"

I planted my hand on the wall in front of me and started panting. "If you keep that up."

She started moving faster, and her thumb came up to rub over the head, making me whimper. "Edward I love you. I always have. Baby, I love your cum too." She panted.

"Fucking shit." I groaned as her hand moved faster along my shaft, until I was shooting cum at the shower wall, her name falling from my lips.

I heard her laugh behind me, then she wiped her hand on my stomach. I was still trying to catch my breath when I heard the shampoo bottle squeak again.

I turned around to rise off and looked at her. "What if you just put cum in your hair?"

"I didn't, I wiped it on you." She smirked, sticking her tongue out at me.

I leaned in and sucked her tongue into my mouth, and pulled her body flush to mine. Once I had a clear inspection of her mouth, and made sure everything was the way I'd left it, I pulled away and kissed the tip of her nose. "I love you."

"You have no idea what your kisses do to me, but I love you too." She moaned breathlessly.

I grinned against her skin and kissed both of her cheeks. "I think I have an idea."

"I'm not sure you do." She quipped, pushing me out of the way so she could rinse the shampoo out of her hair.

I grabbed the soap to start washing. "No? Then tell me about it."

"It's not exactly something I can tell you about without showing you."

I scoffed at her. "Okay, silly mcsillerson. Have you seen our boy, by chance?"

"We're in the shower. So no, captain oblivious I haven't." She said sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry. I haven't been up this early in days. It's fucking with my head."

She laughed and nodded, rolling her eyes at me. "I see that. Remind me not to let you cum til you know where exactly you are."

I poked her stomach. "Hey, don't pick on me or... I'll do some stuff that I'm too tired to think of right now."

"Uh huh, right." Bella rinsed off, and I watched entranced until she stepped out.

I shut off the water and followed her out. "Be nice to me. I love you and shit, and yeah... that counts for stuff." Was 6:30 always this early? And did my brain always hate it this much?

"I love you too but you're being a goofball right now." She told me, then wrapped her hair up in one of those turban things. "Next step would be getting a towel babe."

I shook my head, and ran a hand through my hair. "Help me, please. I don't know what the fuck is going on. It's too fucking early."

She shook her head, grinning at me while she grabbed a towel and started drying me off. "What would you do without me?"

I wrapped her in my arms and put my head on her shoulder. "Be lonely and horny."

"Yeah, probably. I doubt Jess would come by in the mornings and help you in the shower."

I shuddered. "We don't talk about her when I'm vulnerable, okay?"

"And you're vulnerable now... how?" She asked, looking adorable when she tilted her head to the side. So adorable, it was making me question why I'd ever gotten us out of bed.

I sighed, gesturing vaguely to my head. "I'm not awake yet, or coherent, so you'll be all 'let's move Stanley in next door and have a threesome' and I'll be all 'sure' cause I don't know what the fuck is going on. And now I'm all naked and shit, and that's just vulnerable in and of it self." I sighed, letting it all out then pouted. "Do we really have to go to school?"

She laughed, completely oblivious to my pain. "So you _have _thought about a threesome with Jess and me. Innnnneresting..." She smirked while I pouted. I didn't see funny-ness here. "And we don't know. You didn't see what the hell your parents wanted us up for so early so maybe its just for a family breakfast at dawn."

I sighed, shaking my head and going back into the bedroom. "What the hell is this? A spa? We don't have to wake up."

"We don't?" She was bent over, picking out a tee shirt and I was staring at her ass until I realized I was expected to respond.

"No." I said, trying to find whatever the fuck I was calling underwear these days. "That bed is like... well, it's awesome. Why should we ever have to leave it."

"I agree." She said, flopping on to the bed, and curling up like she was going to go back to sleep. "I'll wait here. Go tell your parents."

I pulled on some boxers, then clean jeans. "No way, home fry. I suffer, you suffer."

"No." She whined, burrowing deeper into the covers. "I washed your hair and got you off and dried you. Your turn to be productive this morning."

"I won't touch you all day if you don't come."

"A risk I'm willing to take for sleep."

I raised an eyebrow, looking down at her. "Really?"

"Mhm." She replied, her voice muffled beneath the covers. "Plus how will anyone know I'm yours in school if you aren't touching me in _some _form? Mike may try asking me out again."

I pushed down the jealousy, and reached for a shirt. "A risk you're gonna have to take, love. I gave you my terms."

"That's not a risk for me, but what are you going to do when he touches me in bio, since I still sit at his table."

"Punch him." I replied, leaning against the dresser and running a hand through my hair. That should be obvious.

"Yea, so what? So you can ruin your clean record, get suspended and leave him to his own devices while you're at home and I'm around him unprotected?" She muttered.

"That's all up to you, love. You come with me, and none of that has to happen. You're already half dressed."

"I'll take my chances." She said, flipped over so that she was wrapped even tighter in the blanket.

I sighed dramatically. "Alright. But don't come crying to me when you get Newtonitis. Or when you haven't been properly fucked in days."

"Who knows maybe Newton fucks better than he kisses."

"You'll be finding out." I called, putting on my shoes, and taking my sweet fucking time. No way--_no fucking way-- _was I letting Newton get that close to my girl. She knew it, too. "Maybe I can call Tanya. Yanno, if you're into fucking Newton, now."

"Yea maybe she can give you the clap for Christmas, and maybe I'll get fucked nonstop like I've been wishing for."

I scoffed, tossing my sweatshirt over my head. "Not properly. Newton and his shriveled dick? Baby, how could you even consider it?"

"You don't know that. Maybe it's bigger than yours." She retorted, as she sat up to look at me, smirking. "Maybe he believes in marathon sex."

I sighed, defeated, and grabbed my keys just in case. "Then so be it. I hope he loves you even a quarter as much as I do."

"Giving up that easily?" She shook her head and clicked her tongue at me. "I'm disappointed."

I shrugged, bending down to pet Smith, who'd crawled out from under the bed. "I want you to be happy, and if that's Newton, cool."

"Edward, I thought we were teasing each other." She crawled to the edge of the bed, and tugged me toward her. "I love you."

I wrapped my arms around her and pushed my face into her neck. "We were. I love you too."

"lock the door. I want to make out with you for a minute before your parents drag us wherever we're going." She said, grinning against my lips.

I pushed her down on the bed, and kissed over her neck. "Who says I unlocked it?"

Bella pulled me down on top of her, lifting her legs around me while I let myself get lost in the feel of her body against mine. "I'm making a new law; your lips can never leave my body... ever."

I chucked against her skin, and kissed down between her tits. "That will be awkward for like... marriage and shit."

She moaned, just the way I liked, and arched into me. "New plan. Your pants off. In me.." She panted, and I wrapped my lips around her puckered nipple. "I don't care about the wedding how do deaf people do it? Sign language? lets learn how to.. oh fuck that feels good.." She was breathless by the time I got to her belly button. "how to say our vows in sign language."

I laughed, moving lower and kissing over her wet pussy. "Geeze, baby, tons of ideas in there. Anything coherent?"

"Fuck me... please." She begged, arching her hips toward my face.

"Mmmm, I dunno." I whispered, kissing my way back up to her mouth, and hovering above her. "You might have to tell me some stuff first."

"Like.. what?" She breathed, her lips swollen from our kisses and her eyes filled with love and lust.

"That you love me." Kiss. "That you need me." Kiss. "And that you know that no one will ever love you like I do." Kiss.

"I know all this. Just like you know that I love you." Kiss. "That I need you." Kiss. "And that no one will ever love you like I do." Kiss. "And that I was meant to be your wifey some day."

I grinned down at her, and kissed her again because the previous million times weren't enough. "Do you think it'd be completely bum-fuck of us to get married the millisecond you turn 18?"

She shook her head adamantly, beaming. "Not as long as we don't do it in a drive through chapel and it's in a state that borders the Pacific."

I nodded, going back in for her. "Okay. Let's do that then."

"Kay." She whispered, kissing me.

"So, round one?" I asked, going for the zipper on my jeans.

She brushed my hands away, pulling down the zipper herself before she started to palm my cock. "Mhm. I need to make sure you feel the same as last night."

I grinned against her lips. "Good point."

Bella laughed a little against me before I went in for it. I grabbed my hard on and ran the tip up her slit and watched as she arched into me. I fucking loved Bella under me. Bella... Bella under me was almost as good as Bella over me.

Almost.

Either way, she was mine.

I pushed into her roughly, giving her time to adjust. Her yelp was swallowed by my shoulder, as she pushed her face into it and I kissed the side of her face. Just being in her was a fucking privilege.

She tapped her knees against my sides, and I started moving quickly inside her. I loved her.

I needed her.

I couldn't _not _have this.

She was everything.

"Bella... Bella... baby... fucking Christ, you're so tight." I moaned, burying my face in her shoulder.

I went harder.

I gave her everything I had, and she gave it all back. I wanted all of her, so that's what I'd have. "Fuck, Baby... Baby, can you cum for me?"

"Uhhhhhh...... ummmm.... fuck, Edward.... shit...." She panted.

I grinned against her skin. I had her.

I trailed a hand down her body, and my fingers brushed over her clit. "Baby, show me how hard you can cum."

She moaned into my ear, and I felt her pussy clench down around my cock. "FUCKING CHRIST EDWARD!" She yelled. I sucked in a breath and held my shit while she kept going, then sat up and put her ankles on my shoulders. She was panting hard, looking up at me, and I pushed into her hard twice more before spilling inside her. She took all over me, her pussy milking my cock before I collapsed on top of her again.

Fuck, I loved her.

I rolled off of her, and checked the clock. "If it is school, we have to leave in five."

"I think we can safely assume it is." She panted, trying to catch her breath.

I nodded up at the ceiling then looked over at her. "You sure you're up for it?"

She reached for my hand, pulling herself closer to me. "I am, if you are."

I squeezed her hand. "We can turn around at any point, okay? If it gets to be too much."

She nodded her head, trying to look tough. I think. "Okay."

I nodded back at her. "Okay." I got up slowly, pulling my jeans back up and running a hand through my hair. "Baby... shirt?"

"Mm.." She furrowed her brow, surveying the wreckage that was my room. "Oh on your desk."

I pulled it over my head, and eyed her. "You have range, Baby."

"No, I have eyes." She said, laughing as she got up. "Where did you fling that shirt of yours I was gonna wear?"

I surveyed the disaster area, and picked up the shirt that had been flung over the foot-board. "This one, no?"

She took it from me, and leaned up on her tip toes to kiss me. "Yep, thanks."

I ran my finger in a long line between her hips. "Did you always not have pants? Because I like this look on you."

"I was always without pants and yet you stood here for 20 minutes arguing with me." She grinned. "I could test it out; throw on some underwear and go to school like this?"

She pulled on her underwear and my shirt fell to the top of her thigh. "I like it. But you might get cold."

"Why? I'll have you to wrap around me, right?"

I smiled down at her and wrapped my arms around her waist again. "Right. I love you."

"See it'll work. We'll just tell everyone it's a new trend; wearing your boyfriend's t-shirts as mini dresses. It'll catch on." She said, giving me a small laugh and kissing my shoulder through my shirt.

"Good plan." I didn't want to let go. "You smell nice."

"I do?"

I nodded against her skin, taking another deep breath. "You do. I fucking love you."

She smiled into my skin and kissed the underside of my jaw. "Love you. But maybe I should put on pants. Would it be completely obvious we were fucking if I wore a pair of yours again?"

I pulled away, smirking down at her. "Baby... I don't care. Do you care?"

"I'm asking because I want every girl to get the message loud and clear that you're mine and to back the fuck off."

"Okay." I replied, kissing her forehead, and throwing my hoodie over my head again. "Wait, are we supposed to be like... broken up or some shit because I'm an ass hole?"

"No, we're throwing out that idea. Fuck it. I'm yours and I'm sick of pretending I don't want everyone and their mom to know. You were right in the beginning; we'll figure something out later if the whoeverthefuck child services or whatever comes by."

I laughed at her new found aggressiveness. "Geeze, Baby. Remind me to stay off your bad side."

"Sorry... I just. I was stupid for ever, _ever _suggesting we hide it. I'm really sorry."

"Hey... hey, stop." I said, going over to her and pulling her into my arms. "It's no big deal. It's over now, and done with. No harm done. I fucking love you."

She nodded, smiling a little. "I love you too. And I'm wearing your jeans."

I puffed out a laugh on top of her head and started pulling her out of the room with me. "They look good on you."

"They look better on your floor." She said with a light laugh. It'd been so long since I'd heard anything even remotely resembling that laugh.

I picked her up and we headed downstairs. "I agree, but since someone decided we had to go to school today..."

"Someone being your parents, obviously." Her arms wrapped around my neck and her head fell to my shoulder. "Not that I'm complaining but when did caveward decide to come back out?"

I shrugged. "Baby, I've been carrying you around forever. It's fucking habit now."

"Forever... that's a big overstatement since we barely looked at each other for 10 years."

I stopped when I got to the bottom of the stairs. "I thought we agreed we weren't discussing that."

"We're not, but you can't say you've been carrying me around forever."

I scoffed. "Baby... you're completely belittling my commitment to never let your feet touch the ground more than 40% of the day. This hurts my heart."

"Oh, I wasn't aware of this vow. When did you make it?"

I looked around, grabbing her jacket and holding it open for her. "Bella, I don't fucking know. In between eternal love and devotion, I think."

"Oh, okay. That works." She laughed, slipping her arms through the holes. "I think we should get a head start on making sure we get all the same classes next semester. After school we should go, and you can sweet talk the Admin lady."

Fuck, I forgot about that. "Maybe I should just go with you to all of your classes now. That way, I won't have to let go of your hand."

"It's okay we still have bio together... and um.. Em will keep whatshisface away from me in English and we'll meet up in the cafeteria at lunch, eat a little then you can show me what you really wanted to do to me that day in the janitor's closet." She said with a grin.

I laughed at her a little. "Again?"

"I was promised a day of being fucked stupid." She reminded me, pressing a forceful finger into my chest. "And I intend to see to it that you fulfill that promise."

I rolled my eyes, hollering a good bye to my mother, and following her out the door. "It'll be kinda hard if i don't see you every hour."

"No, but we can always go at it before bio... or hey IN bio!" She said, her eyes lighting up like we were in fucking disney world. "That's it! If... by the grace of god, there's a movie in class today, push Tartanya out of my seat and we'll work something out." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at me.

I laughed, and held the car door open for her. "Why don't I just put you in her seat to begin with?"

"Either way." She shrugged. "Or we can skip bio. Your parents just told us to go to school, they didn't tell us we had to make it to class."

I got in beside her and turned the car on. "You're the one who suggested we comply."

"This is true." She said with a sigh, then recovered with a laugh. "Well, at the very least I can grope you in bio."

I nodded emphatically. "You better."

"And if it's movie day I'm pulling you out of class and getting a taste." She whispered, smirking at me.

I grabbed her hand and squeezed. "Here's hoping for a movie."

"Or yanno... maybe before we go in to class.."

I furrowed my brow and smirked over at her. "You're like... super duper horny. What have I done to my sweet, virginal Bella?"

"This is the consequence of breaking through and opening the Pandora's box known as my sexual repression."

I laughed over at her. "Because I had a choice."

"You could have said you wanted to wait til marriage or something."

I raised an eyebrow. "Bell, do you think I could wait that long?"

"It seemed like you could have when we were in Hawaii." She laughed, and I pouted at her. Low blow, Bella.

"I didn't want you to think I was just trying to get in your pants."

"Ah... yea, I would have never thought that." She said, grinning over at me.

"No?" I asked disbelievingly.

"No, I'm kinda surprised you'd think I would. You took care of me Edward. You pushed away first after the kiss.. I would have never thought you were trying to get in my pants."

"I had no idea what the fuck was going on." I told her, chuckling a little to myself. "I was so fucking confused."

"I still think my favorite kiss, was the one out in the backyard. I wanted to kiss you so badly. I wanted _you_ to want to kiss _me_." She blushed and avoided my gaze. Too fucking beautiful for her own good.

"I did want to kiss you." I told her, reaching over to squeeze her hand. "Every single time I've kissed you, it was because I wanted to."

"Yea but then, in the backyard... I just didn't know where we stood. I was jealous of Tanya, and upset that you had pulled away and hadn't tried anything since. I kinda felt like an idiot actually, for kissing you that night in bed. But, when you kissed me that kinda sealed it for me. That's when I knew without a double that you were meant for me."

I pulled the back of her hand to my lips. "Good thing you were right."

"Well, good think you kissed me in the yard. I don't think I would have had the guts to make the first move and kiss you again."

I laughed and shook my head, pulling into the school lot. "Could you kiss me now, you think?"

"I think I might be able to manage something like that."

I leaned over to kiss her softly, and as my lips moved with hers I got an overwhelming sense of belonging from her. She made me feel wanted and needed and fuck, if I didn't need those things, too. I pulled away, leaning my forehead to hers and kissed the tip of her nose. "Ready to forgive my cheating ass?"

"Definitely. Let's get out of the car and put Rosalie and Em to shame while I pounce on you on the hood of the Volvo."

I wiggled my eyebrows at her. "Oh baby, oh baby."

She grinned, rolling her eyes at me. "You're kind of a weirdo. I don't know if anyone else knows this; it might ruin your rep."

"How am I a weirdo?"

She laughed, reaching to open her door. "You just are. Now get on the hood of your car so I can jump on you."

I rolled my eyes and got out of the car. "Yeah, I'm the weirdo."

"Duh." She replied, hopping up on the hood to wait for me.

I stood beside her, smirking and tapped my fingers on her knee. "Whatcha doin, baby?"

She spread her legs a little to make more room for me as she thought about her response. "I don't recall us having a proper good morning...and I really need one."

I laughed to myself and stood between her legs, wrapping my arms around her waist. "Morning, Baby."

She pulled me closer by the collar of my shirt, bitting her lower lip. "You said that already. Where's the good part?"

I laughed a little and tapped my bottom lip. "Here."

She leaned in, grabbing my bottom lip and pulling it into her mouth to suck on. Nothing was better than kissing Bella; nothing would ever compare to my fucking girl and how much I loved her. She was amazing.

I pulled away slowly and pushed my face into her neck, kissing the skin my lips found there. "You have this way of making me not want to be an ass hole. It's incredibly disarming."

"I'm sorry, would you rather be an asshole or get the good mornings we give each other?" She asked softly, her hands fastening themselves in my hair as she brushed her lips teasingly against mine.

"Which do you think?" I asked, leaning over to kiss her again.

"BELLA!"

Ugh. I groaned into Bella's neck and looked over at Alice who was running over to us, looking like a puppy on crack.

Bella smiled faintly at Alice, her fingers still twisting against the hair in my neck. "Hi Alice."

"Hello." She said as she waved her finger between Bella and I. "What's with the human leech? You guys making your own White Snake video?"

I raised one eyebrow at her because I was thoroughly fucking confused. "What?"

"Yes, and we were _about _to get to the uncensored part." Bella replied, raising an eyebrow at Alice. "Can we meet you guys in school? I wasn't done saying good morning to Edward."

Alice laughed and nodded at both of us. "Yeah, yeah take your time. Wipe that look off your face, Lady, I'm a friend remember."

"Sorry, I know. And we'll have catch up time at lunch.." She said watching me for a second before turning back to Alice. "Mmm.. maybe in Math instead?"

I laughed up at her, and kissed her. "We have to walk in, anyway. You guys can like, hold hands and skip or some shit."

Alice cocked one hip to the side. "Girls don't always hold hands and skip, Edward."

I nodded, kissing Bella's forehead, then helping her off the hood. "No, but my girl has a good ass."

Alice looked mildly disgusted, and I had to laugh. She was too easy.

"So that's a no to fucking on the hood of your car then?" Bella asked, smirking.

I sighed, waiving my hand exaggeratedly in Alice's direction. "According to that thing."

"Edward, do you ever stop talking?" Emmett asked as he threw an arm over Alice's shoulder. "Hi, Bella."

I scowled. "I do. Often in fact."

"Hey! Where's my arm?" Bella asked, jumping down and beaming as Emmett wrapped his other arm around her. "Morning sunshine!"

Emmett kissed the top of her head, and I growled in disgust. He raised an eyebrow. "You're broken up, remember?"

I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, Yeah."

Then came Whitlock. "Hey, I want in on this lovefest!"

Bella turned to look at me, laughing. "Still thinkin about that threesome idea?"

Alice looked mildly disgusted. "Threesome? What threesome?"

Emmett held up his hands. "I'm out if it involves me anywhere near Jasper's balls."

"What's wrong with my balls?"

"Nothing, Baby, they're awesome."

"God, Alice." I groaned, running a hand over my face. "This... is too much. My brain's not processing this right now."

"What he means is he wants me and Jess to have a three-some with him." Bella said, laughing harder.

"Stanley?" Jasper asked, sounding confused. "You want Stanley on your dick?"

I shuddered. "No... Bella's being silly. Besides, Bella wouldn't want Stanley there anyway."

Alice shuddered with me. "I don't want Stanley there."

"It was just a joke.." Bella said, hanging back as the rest of them started to head into school.

"C'mon, love canaries, we're gonna be late." Emmett yelled, moving toward the school and smiling over at us.

"Yeah, we're coming." I called, looking at Bella and not taking my eyes from hers. "You ready? Cause we can go home if you want."

"I know." She whispered, taking a deep breath. "I'm okay." She grabbed my hand and squeezed. "You good?"

I nodded, kissing her forehead as I took her hand to head into school. "I'm good. C'mon my little love Canary."

She started laughing, and skipped beside me. "Hey not only two girls can do this."

I laughed, leaning over to whisper in her ear. "It's so I can watch your ass bounce when you move."

Bella curled into me, brushing her lips teasingly against mine. "When we get home we're gonna try me on top facing away, that way you can see my ass bounce _and _your cock sliding in and out of me."

I groaned. "That shit's hot, you know. I'll definitely have to take you up on that."

"You better. I was promised that I'd be fucked stupid." She grinned, kissing me gently then tugging on my hand. "Don't let me down Cullen."

"I won't... uh, other Cullen."

She smiled up at me, letting out a breathy laugh. "Come on we're gonna be late." She reminded me, her eyes roaming down to my crotch. "And I believe I promised someone a blow job in bio."

My eyes widened, and I looked down at her. "Seriously? We're doing that?"

"Unless..." She teased, licking her bottom lip. Fuck. Me. "You'd prefer it before class?"

"I dunno," I said, stopping against a bay of lockers and pushing my hair off of my forehead. "I mean, I didn't know it was really an option and now I have all these choices."

SHe laughed, leaning against me, then reaching down to palm my cock. "I love you, but I don't want to be late. I guess you get neither now." She kissed me hard, and I was pressing her against the lockers until suddenly she pulled away and I saw her ass bouncing down the hall.

I pouted behind her. "Well that's not very nice. I mean, that would be like... like... cruel."

She shrugged, turning back to smirk at me like the tease she knew she was. "You're the indecisive one. You could have had your cock all the way down my throat by now, but no... you had to think about it."

My eyes went wide, before narrowing again and we headed into the class room. "That's mean. You're teasing me now."

"Now yes, but before.." She started, waiting for me to catch up to her before she whispered, "Before I _really _wanted to feel you cum in my mouth."

I groaned, wrapping an arm around her waist and leaning my head to hers. "That's not nice." I told her as we walked to our lab table.

"Sure it is." She paused once she got to her table, where Tanya was waiting. "Hey Tanya."

Tanya was cool as ice as she watched us. "Hello."

"You don't belong there." I told her.

Tanya raised an eyebrow and looked at me. "Oh? Where do I belong, then?"

I sighed. She asked for it. I went over to her, and lifted her in her stool, putting her down beside a very confused looking Newton. I took the empty stool for Bella, and handed Tanya her things. I looked up at Bella, plopping into my stool. "All set, love."

She laughed as Tanya started to huff and move back to us. "Remember how I used to like trying to physically attack you? And that whole... Rose thing?" Bella asked.

I pulled Bella's empty stool closer to my body. "Yeah, why?"

She stood up at Tanya approached us. "I thought Edward made it very clear where you were sitting."

I looked in between them. "Bella, what the hell are you doing?"

Tanya looked Bella up and down, then smirked. "What are you gonna do, Bella? Hit me?"

"No," I said, suddenly realizing why my girl looked like she was gonna cut a bitch. "Bella, just sit please."

"No, Edward you're right." She said, looking back from me to Tanya. "I'm going to ask you to leave." She said condescendingly. "And if you don't _then _I'm going to fucking hit you the way that Rosalie wailed on you a few weeks ago in the hall."

Tanya stepped up to Bella, and I groaned. Her voice was filled with venom. "You don't have the balls."

"My parents are dead. College apps are already in. My life is sitting in the stool next to me and decisions about my future are made." Bella took a step forward so that they were nose to nose. "."

I pulled her stool closer to me, and wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed behind her ear. "Let it go."

Tanya's an idiot because what she did next can't be accounted for. She leaned in, and smirked. "I wonder if Edward's thinking of me while you're hovering above him."

Well, fuck. Bitch had balls.

Bella blinked. "Why would he think of a lose whore who offered it up and he passed on, to be with _me_."

Exactly. Go Bella. Exactly.

Tanya smirked. "Because I'm the only girl who could take him all the way down my throat." She looked up at me. "Right, Baby."

Wait... when did Tanya give me head again? "Huh?"

Bella looked over at me, anger seeping from her every pore. Fuck. "That's for both of you, asshole."

Okay, what the hell just happened? "Bella, you okay?" I asked, looking up at her.

**BPOV**

I looked at him taking a breath. "Yeah I'm fine." I said shaking out my hand as Tanya stood. I turned around just in time to feel her shove me into the table. FUCK! Corner edge to the back... ow.

I clenched my jaw and leaned my fist towards her again, hitting her again but not as hard.

That was when I heard Mr. Banner screaming, "BELLA! TANYA! FRONT! NOW!" I groaned and followed behind Tanya. Mr. Banner proceeded to berate us loudly in front of the rest of the class. I sighed and slouched. I didn't get what the big deal was? She was a whore. She was mean. She was trying to still go after my boyfriend. All things added up to her deserving it. After he had gotten everything out of his system he handed us two notes and made us go one at a time to the office. Tanya went first and I just stood there in front of the rest of the class completely bored as he started his lecture.

After a few minutes he discretely shoo'd me out of the room and I walked down the hall slowly. I sank into the stiff metal chair on the opposite side of the door from Tanya and didn't even bother looking in her direction. I went to reach in my pocket for my phone but realized I'd put it in my backpack. Shit. Guess I'd hunker down here until either Carlisle, Esme or Edward found me. It was nearing the end of first block when a familiar dirty blond man strode in through the doors.

"Good Morning, Mrs. Cope." The man asked, smiling pleasantly enough as his eyes roamed the small office.

"Hello there. How may I help you?" She asked in her usual over-polite tone of voice. My stomach lurched.

His smile grew wider as he leaned against the counter towards her. "Well, Dr. Cullen called to see if I could take Bella over to him at the hospital. He has somethings for her."

"Oh." She said frowning a bit. "Unfortunately I was given strict orders not to let anyone but one of the Cullen's or an officer taken Bella off campus."

His grin didn't falter in the slightest, in fact he may have even winked at the older woman if I was seeing properly. "Really, Mrs. Cope, it's fine. Dr. Cullen needs her right away."

He was here, in the school. So was Edward. My immediate instinct was to protect my family, well what was left of it and I found myself jumping up and standing a few feet beside him. "Mrs. Cope it's okay. I'm sure if he needs to see me right away it must be urgent and that's why he didn't call. Phil's an old family friend so I'm okay in his hands."

His cold, parent killing hands.

She glanced at me warily before shrugging and taking a big sigh. "Well I suppose you're right. Just have Mr. Cullen call me when he has a moment so I can verify everything for the records." I nodded and took a chance look at the man beside me. Phil Dwyer. His eyes were the same and gave me goosebumps immediately.

"Okay, let's go." I said determined, though I was anything but inside. I was staring my fate in the eyes and I knew what was coming.

He nodded and held the door open for me, while I walked through.

"I hope you take note that I made things a _shit ton _easier for you back there." I spat out as we walked out of the building and towards the same unmarked car we'd seen him in at the gas station.

His arm wrapped around my shoulders, his fingers digging into my shoulder cap and pulling me against his side. "Much easier. Thank you. Get it the car."

I shrugged his arm away and got in, completely unsure what to do. "So now what? You kill me? You're done? Or is this a routine thing for you?" Apparently having the fear of god put in me made me an even bigger sarcastic twat than normal.

His left eyebrow quirked upward. "I see why Edward likes you so much. You keep him on his toes." He laughed humorlessly, pulling out of the parking lot at a suspiciously high speed.

"Listen I made shit easy for you, so I'd appreciate it _greatly _if you didn't talk about Edward. Period." I growled.

"Touchy subject? He seems to be enamored with you, so I don't see why." He waited a beat before speaking again and I was thankful for the momentary silence. "He won't get hurt as long as you cooperate."

"Good, then this will be easy for both of us."

"Easy for me, anyway." He smirked, moving his right hand to my thigh and rubbing it. Ew. Ew. Ew.

My body went cold and I took a breath trying to remain confident. "No, easy for us both."

His hand squeezed my thigh and inched up further, making my body tense even more. "Good. You're never going to see any of them again, you know. I hope you left on a happy note."

"It doesn't matter either way since it's not like you'll turn around if I didn't." Fuck, I didn't. I didn't tell Edward I loved him. I didn't thank his parents. I didn't go to my parent's grave to say goodbye.

"They can go on, living their happy lives then. No harm will come to them as long as you obey."

"I will." I replied quietly seeing his hand creep up another inch and felt the bile rise. Thank god I didn't wear a skirt today; I wouldn't have been able to handle his skin on mine.

"So agreeable. More like Esme than your mother." He chuckled lightly.

I tensed at the mention of my mom. "Yea, my mom was definitely a fighter." And I would be too.

"Up until the very end." He said as if upset by her death, when he was the man who caused it.

"...Where are we going?" I asked my voice become a bit more unsteady as he referred to that night.

"Not far, my Bella." He replied obtusely. We drove for a bit longer before he pulled into a seedy motel with rusty red paint on the building and a roof that looked on the verge of collapse.

I'm not yours, I wanted to scream but I just nodded, curling my body away from him and towards the window.

"Wait, here."He commanded sternly, not looking at me as he climbed out of the car and into the check in lobby.

I sat there, taking deep breaths.

I never thought this is how I would die; in an apparent seedy motel room at the hands of my mother's high school boyfriend. But there it was; and here I was.

Dealing.

How do you deal with knowing you're about to die? Do you pray? Do you curse those who have wronged you, or focus only on those you love? Edward. I was thinking of Edward, and his safety. Phil could do whatever he wanted with and to me as long as in the end Edward was safe and could carry on with life, unharmed.

I was dealing with knowing I was about to die by thinking of the man I had loved and would continue to love the rest of my life. He was my childhood crush, the bane of my existence through middle and most of high school, but now here we were.

I had loved him at 7 just as much as I did now at 17 and as much as I would have when we were 70.

Phil came back around only long enough to open his front door and stick his head inside.

"Get out and follow me up. You run, I go for him first."

"Fucking Christ, I told you I'd comply with whatever." I huffed, getting out and finding that my resolve had returned. I was protecting Edward. I wouldn't die in vain.

"I know. I just have to keep your eye on the ball." He said coolly, guiding me up the stairs forcefully.

"You know you'd be a lot less obvious if you weren't shoving me up a flight of stairs." I quipped. "No wonder my mother left you; you're an idiot."

"Am I?" He retorted, puffing out a dry laugh. "Then tell me, Bella, how have I been watching you sleep wrapped up in that boy for the last two months?"

"That's not intelligence that's being the next idiot that winds up on 'to catch a predator'."

"I wonder what Edward will look like with only one hand." He mused, leaning over my shoulder to whisper in my ear as he unlocked the door. "Would you love him just as much?"

A chill went down my spine as I felt his breath fan over my neck and I tried to find the strength I'd had a moment ago. "I'm making this easy for you. Don't talk about him like this. I've done everything you asked. You didn't say I had to be sweet to top it off. I've been silent, haven't screamed once and have complied with everything you asked. You said if I did, he'd be safe."

"Did I? Hm. I might forget and slip." He shrugged, pushing me into the room. I puffed out an 'oomph' but he was too busy locking up and dead bolting the door to notice (or care). "You behave, and I said he'd stay alive. We never talked about what condition he'd be in."

"What has to be done to keep him in his _current _condition then?" I said moving to sit at the edge of the bed.

"I guess that remains to be seen." He grinned, smiling like the joker from batman. It was severely creeping me out, but I had to be strong - for Edward's safety.

"Tell me and I'll do it." I spat out quickly.

He smiled, leaning against the desk casually and shrugging**.** "That remains to be seen. If I tell you, sooner or later you'll get complacent, as will I and you'll escape. And then..." He trailed off, sighing and looking up as if weighing his options. "Maybe Edward would look good with an eye patch? You did seem to enjoy his glasses."

I leaned forward. "No! There will be NO eye patch necessary. You have me, stop playing cat and fucking mouse. You caught the mouse now fucking do something!"

"Bella, just because I have you doesn't mean I can't play with you." He mused, grinning at me devilishly and pacing back and forth. "Perhaps... if I brought him back to you in pieces?"

"Just... FUCKING STOP!" I shouted standing up. "Why torment me now that you have me? Just fucking kill me and get this shit over with!"

"Kill you? Bella, why on earth would I kill you?" He asked, cocking his head to the side as if my statement was sheer madness.

"Because you killed my mom and dad!"

He laughed manically, shaking his head. "Bella, your mother was nothing but an ungrateful slut, and your father was a meddling ass hole." He sneered stepping closer to me, his hot breath ghosting over face. "You should have been mine."

"My mother was NOT a slut!" I screamed moving closer to him. "And my father was a hundred times the man you will EVER be! You're nothing more than a has been asshole who couldn't get over getting dumped in high school after BEATING my mother!"

His hands stretched out as he shoved me against the wall, scowling. "Your mother couldn't stay in line, and didn't know what she had right in front of her. What a good, happy life we could have had. And your pathetic excuse of a father was a pious ass hole. They didn't know how to take care of you, so I took matters into my own hands. You should have been mine; Renee should have had my child and trust me, I wouldn't have let you anywhere near that boy." He pushed me again as I tried to step away, this time knocking me to the ground. "Maybe I should pull off his fingers for touching my baby." He threatened softly as he pulled out a pair of pliers from his back pocket and examined them in great detail.

OH FUCK NO. Any self preservation I'd had left went out the window and I jumped up and onto him. "DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HIM YOU CREEP!"

His hand that held the pliers swung at me with force an I stumbled back into the window. "Then keep your mouth shut, and learn your place!" He shouted, panting as his face reddened with anger.

I clenched my jaw doing my best to ignore the throbbing pain in my head and shoulder. "I AM NOT YOURS! MY PLACE WAS WITH MY PARENTS YOU ASSHOLE!" I screamed loudly. At this point I was _hoping _someone would hear me.

He growled, grabbing my wrist roughly. "Keep it up, and your boyfriend will be dead. I'll make sure you're alive to watch him die."

I seethed with silent anger as I relaxed against his grip. "Fine." I panted. "I'll be better."

His opposite hand reached down, slapping my ass. "I know you will." He stated gruffly, releasing me and walking to the bathroom.

I remained silent staring down at the orange and gray speckled carpet as he washed his hands and moved quietly back into the room.

"Get on the bed."

My breath quickened as I complied, and moved to the bed sitting on it.

He moved slowly, deliberately towards me, kneeling in front of me. His fingers reached up, curling under my chin. "Remember this: I am not Edward._"_

"I know." I said stoically.

"This will not be fun for you. You won't be screaming his name, like I've seen and you won't get any pleasure from this. This is making you mine." He stated darkly, his mouth curving into an eerie grin.

I nodded slowly, blinking and keeping my eyes shut and pushing my lips together in a flat line. Don't cry. Don't scream. He'll hurt Edward. Don't cry. Don't scream. He'll hurt Edward.

I repeated the mantra in my head over and over as I felt him shift over me.


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: Kellllyyyooooooooooooo...wanna come out and play?  
HOLY MOLY Bellerz!

Sup homeslice?  
This... I'm gonna go all emo. I can't believe this is it.

I know. I'm...well, I'm not taking about it cause I'll tots break down. Unlike SMeyer who likes to start shit then shelf it despite the fact that she owns.  
Yea, but maybe to help us get through it... you awesome people could review and give us a bittersweet ending?

Def...and thanks you guys :)

* * *

**EPOV**

I drummed my fingers on the lab table, waiting for Bella to come back. Tanya was such a bitch. If we had to go through, and do all of this 'you don't really love me' bull shit again, I might scream. Cause, seriously; she should know that shit by now. The bell rang, and I was confused because Bella wasn't back yet. Not even a text that she'd been suspended. Odd. I walked slowly down the hall toward the main office, hoping to catch her. I saw Emmett first, and he nodded.

"Have you seen Bella?"

He furrowed his brow, looking around as though she were hiding in a locker. "Nah, man. Not since this morning. Everything cool."

I nodded. "Yeah, she popped Tanya this morning and got sent to the office. She hasn't come back yet."

He let out a roar of a laugh and slapped my back. "She's probably still up there. Cope's an airhead, you know that."

"Yeah. Thanks, Em." And I kept going down the hall. I passed by the office and Bella wasn't there. Hm. I didn't like this. I didn't like this at all. I turned sharply, and crashed right into someone. My arms shot out reflexively, and I looked down at the girl in my arms.

Tanya.

"Where's Bella?"

She shrugged, and I wondered if her brain had actually shrank in the last hour. "I don't keep track of your whores."

I rolled my eyes. "The only whore in my life was you. Where the fuck is she? Is she still in there?"

"No. She left awhile ago with some guy." She told me, a smug smile crossing her lips. "Looks like the player is being played."

I tensed, my brow furrowed. "Guy? What guy? Tanya, seriously, what did he look like?" No no no no no no no no no.

"I dunno. I wasn't paying too much attention. Blond I think. Older, like... almost my dad's age, it was kinda gross."

My grip laxed on Tanya's arms and I felt my breath pick up. "Shit... oh my God. Holy shit."

"Dude it's not the end of the world. The rest of the girls in this dreary fucking brick building would give anything for a chance with you." Her finger began to trace up and down my arm, but my mind was racing too fast. This was too much. What the fuck had she done? "It'll be okay. Do you wanna ditch and go back to my house?"

"No, I have to go after Bella." I said, taking my hands off of her and walking out to the Volvo. This couldn't be right. Bella wouldn't... Bella couldn't... shit motherfucking shit.

"Well maybe once you dump her then?!"

I couldn't help but laugh at Tanya's oblivious-ness, because it only made it clear how much Bella was made for me. How much I loved her. How much I needed her. I blew out into the parking lot, and got into the Volvo. The tires screeched with effort as I peeled out of the parking lot, and sped toward the house. I pulled out my phone and dialed my Dad.

"Have you left yet?" I barked into the phone, my adrenaline running high as I dodged cars.

"Excuse me?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Have you left the fucking house yet?" Really, I couldn't be more clear.

"Calm down Edward, what are you talking about? I'm at the hospital, I just got here."

"He took my Bella." I blurted, hanging a U turn and heading to the hospital. "He took her, I know it's him."

"What? Who? Where's Bella? Who's she with? Calm down and talk to me, son."

"That... ass hole." I sneered. "The one from the gas station. He took her. She got sent to the office, and he must have... son of a bitch." I wailed, pounding my fist on the steering wheel and feeling hot tears prick my eyes. I couldn't believe I let this happen. I told her I wouldn't let this happen.

"Edward. Where are you?" He asked, finally sounding like he was taking me seriously. "I'm going to get on the phone and call Esme, tell her to call the police. Meet me here. Do you have any idea where he would have taken her? Did he talk to you about anywhere in particular when you two were chatting at the gas station?"

"No... no. He just... no. He asked about Renee and said he was staying near Forks. That's it. They could... they could be anywhere." I whispered, pulling into the hospital parking lot and going through the sliding doors. "I'm here."

My dad whipped around the corner and pulled me into his arms. "I'm glad you're okay. I asked one of the nurses to call Esme. She's notified the police in Forks and Port Angeles. Everyone is looking for her, Edward."

I clung to my dad like I was four. "Dad... dad... I can't... What if she..." I was panting heavily into his lab coat. "I can't lose her."

"You won't... we won't." He said, giving me a reassuring squeeze. "And I know my son," he sighed, "and I know you're going to go look for her on your own whether anyone tells you to do otherwise. So you're mother has a patrol car to follow you... just in-case."

I sighed. Fuck. Fuck. I couldn't do this. "Where the fuck could she be? I should have been there. I shouldn't have let her go. We should have run away... oh, god. What if they don't get there in time? What if she... oh my god."

"Edward. She's going to be okay. She's fine. I'm sure she's fine and they're going to find her and she'll be okay. You'll both be okay."

I pulled away abruptly and started pawing at my eyes. "I have to go after her. Fuck this, I can't wait around."

(nods) "I'll be here... just in case. And I'll call you if I find anything out; just like I expect you to do the same." (gives him another hug)

I nodded and flew back out the door. I needed my girl. I needed to get to her.

Nothing would keep me from my Bella.

Nothing would stop me from getting to her.

Nothing would get in between me and my happily ever after.

**BPOV**

He had been enjoying the torment. The way he unnerved me and made me shake at the anticipation of what he wanted to do. How he wanted to take me. He whispered that I was even more beautiful than my mother. He made inappropriate comments about my figure and the way my skin smelled.

But he hadn't done a single thing.

I wanted to fight him off. I wanted to knee him in the crotch and run like a bat out of hell.

But then it would never stop.

And there was always the chance he'd catch me, and then what about Edward?

I had to protect Edward. As my breath quivered, as my body quaked all I could think was 'I have to protect Edward'. The pressure, the waiting, the way he was making me feel like he was violating me just by the long stares and ways his hands moved over my clothes, was driving me insane.

A lone tear fell from the corner of my eye and he backhanded me.

"Don't. Fucking. Cry." He growled pushing his face into mine. "Your mother cried the first time too and I fucking hated it. It made cumming inside her so much less enjoyable."

The same hand that had hit me gently caressed my other cheek "Oh but cumming in you will be so much better. I've heard how your Edward talks during sex; I'm looking forward to feeling how ti--"

There was a loud bang on the door and we both froze. He looked at me through the squinty eyes I'd dreamed about. "Well that ruins our moment, now doesn't it?" He stated, grunting and pushing himself off the bed.

"Who is it?" He hollered through he door, a few feet away from the entrance.

"Get the fuck. Away. From my girl."He enunciated calmly, almost menacingly.

Phil turned and smirked at me, tilting his head towards the door. "I don't know what you're talking about buddy. It's just me and my girl in here, and you're ruining the moment when I fuck my Isabella's brains out."

I gasped and not 5 seconds later the door was crashing down, Edward's jaw clenched as his eyes glared menacingly at Phil. He wasted no time shoving him up against the wall by his neck, easily towering over him in height but not width. "You hurt her... I swear, I find one scrape on her body, and I rip off your dick and shove it in her mouth, you fucked up piece of trash." He growled, picking him up like he weighed nothing and slamming him into the wall. His head snapped to where I was, his eyes wild with rage but still soft with worry. "Baby, you okay?" He asked quietly as if in shock that I could possibly be fine.

I nodded quickly and pushed him out of the way as I saw Phil coming at him with an unplugged desk lamp. I felt the cool metal and my body being knocked sideways as Phil began punching and kicking at me. I heard Edward yelling in the distance, and Phil's blows were weakening, but then he found what felt like was the same lamp.

This time after the hit, everything went cold and black.

**EPOV**

Fucking shit.

Fucking ass hole. I ripped him from Bella as he hovered over her, desk lamp in hand and I knocked the old TV on top of him. Where the fuck was the officer who was supposedly following me?

I heard the ass hole groan so I leered over him, like I'd seen him to do my Bella. It made my skin crawl to think that he'd touched her. That she endured that. Fuck, Bella. I was breathing heavily as I stared down at him, his eyes closing a little. Good. To be honest, I didn't know what the fuck to do next. I turned and went back over to Bella. She was knocked out, and lying limply on the ground.

Fuck.

This wasn't right. This wasn't what was supposed to happen.

I needed her, I needed my girl.

Then I felt something sharp in my back, and a strong hand on my shoulder. "If I can't have her, neither can you." He whispered in my ear, twisting whatever the fuck it was a little. I groaned, and felt him rip away from me, followed by a loud thump. I crawled slowly over to Bella, hearing people talking to me, and talking to that guy. All I saw was Bella.

I had to get to Bella.

I was just about to put my hand on her head when two people pulled me back. "No, Bella..."

"Edward, we have to get you to the hospital. She'll be fine. You both will be fine."

"Bella... Bella..." I called, reaching out feebly as paramedics started poking and prodding at me.

"She's fine. She'll be fine."

My head rolled to the side, and my breath started coming heavier. She wasn't fine. They were lifting her onto a back board, and there was a pool of blood around her. No. Not Bella. Not Bella.

It just kept rolling over in my head. It should be me and not my Bella. Not her. She's been through enough.

"We have to hurry; he's losing too much blood."

Bella hated blood. It grossed her out. She fainted every time. There was one time, when we were nine and before the fifth grade incident when she skinned her knee and I had to walk around the block with her so she'd stop feeling queasy. She was my best friend. She's the love of my life.

My heart.

My soul.

She had to be okay.

The doors on the ambulance swung shut and I groaned as we sped toward the hospital. I wanted to die if Bella died. There wasn't a point to my living without her. I needed her. My Bella.

Bella.

I groaned again when the ambulance lurched to a stop and they wheeled my gurney out. The next thing I knew, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Edward." My father's voice sounded a million miles away. "You're going to be okay, son."

"But, Bella..." I panted. "Where's... Bella?" I was so tired. I wanted to sleep, but Bella...

"It's okay. Don't talk, save your energy. Bella's going to be okay too. You're both going to be fine."

"But, Bella... hates... blood. She... can't see... the blood." I panted. Fuck, I was an athlete. Why was I so winded?

"Edward, just rest. Bella's fine. The blood's gone."

"But... she'll throw up. She... needs me. BELLA!" I yelled, suddenly feeling like I had to get to her again. "BELLA!"

I felt strong hands against my shoulders and I was too weak to fight. "Edward. Edward, calm down. She's in a different ambulance. You two will meet at the hospital. She's gonna be okay but she needs you to be okay just as much, alright?"

I started panting, feeling tears prick my eyes. "Bella... Bella... I want Bella." This was not good. I needed her. I wanted to hold her. I needed to feel her heart beating and see her smile. Bella.

"Edward, calm down. She'll be at the hospital. You need to slow your heart rate down a bit okay? I promise you, she's going to be okay. She's stable, your mother is with her."

But I wanted to be with her. I wanted her. My breathing got heavy when I thought of how carelessly I treated her this morning. Bella, do this for me, Bella, help me with that. I didn't even say fucking thank you. She did everything for me, and I didn't even fucking say thank you. "I can't lose her." I whispered, feeling my eyes get even heavier.

"You won't son. She'll be there when you wake up. Sleep some."

"Bella..." I whined again before feeling my eye lids flutter closed.

I wanted my Bella. There was nothing I needed more than my Bella. I didn't know what to do if she wasn't beside me.

The last thing that I remember thinking before I fell asleep was hoping not to wake up if Bella didn't, too.

**BPOV**

I woke up completely sore and disoriented. It was dark in the room and the familiar beeping was only comforting when I opened my eyes slightly and saw Edward laying in the bed a few feet away, the curtain drawn so I could see him.

"Edward?" I choked out, my voice raspy and everything hurting from my simple movement.

Nothing.

The only thing comforting was his heart rate monitor beating steadily. I sighed and rolled back sucking in a breath as the pain radiated through me.

He was okay.

I was okay.

We were gonna be okay.

I woke up to the sound of groaning and my eyelashes batted open as my head turned to the side towards Edward. "Edward?" I murmured groggily.

I heard him take a sharp intake of air, and let it out in a slow 'woooooosh'. "Hm?"

"I love you." I breathed. "Thank you for saving me."

"Bella?" He asked, knitting his brows and turning to the side to look at me.

I sighed contently, smiling weakly. "Edward."

He expression showed relief. "Ah, shit."He groaned, slowly moving to stand.

"No... no. Stay there, you need to rest."

"Why the fuck would I do that?" He asked, bunching up the wires that were connected to his mobile beeping machine that had his IV drip beside it and walked slowly over to my bed.

I scooted over to make room for him and put down the metal gate on the right side of the bed so he could climb in. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"I'm so fucking happy you're okay. Are you okay? Did he touch you? Bella...fuck, I love you so much."He sputtered out, inching onto the bed beside me slowly. Once he was fully on the bed he reached for me quickly, holding me as close as we could be.

He was holding me so tightly every nerve was both electrified and in searing pain but I wouldn't ask him to pull away from anything. "I'm okay. I love you. How are you?"

"I'm so sorry, love. I'm so fucking sorry. I shouldn't have let you go. I'm so sorry. For everything. I love you. I love you more than anything. I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I went... willingly." I admitted under my breath.

He furrowed his brows, looking at me completely bewildered. "Why? Bella... why would you do that?"

"To protect you."

"Bella..." He sighed heavily, leaning his forehead against mine. "You don't have to protect me. You didn't have to do that."

"I protect my family Edward; that's not going to change. I _had _to protect my life, and I did that by protecting you." I rubbed my nose against his lightly. "You're my life, without you I'm nothing."

"And what if I lost you? Where would I be then?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Bella, I told you I can't live without you and I meant it. I won't live in a world where you don't exist. There's no point in me being here if you're not."

"I had to do something. I had to try and stop it. I brought it... his need for retaliation or whatever, with me. Please understand I was doing this to protect you." I replied before kissing him lightly.

"But I could have lost you." He continued, quietly, holding me impossibly closer. His eyes were red and glistening with unshed tears as he continued. "I can't lose you."

I sucked in a breath and moved closer so he wouldn't have to and cupped his face in my hands; our faces so close our noses were touching. I shut my eyes and sighed. "You won't ever lose me. You didn't today and you won't, ever. I'm here; I'm going to be your Mrs. Cullen." I murmured before tilting my head and pressing my lips to his.

"I don't want anyone else." He said kissing me again. We let the silence soak us for a few moments before he spoke again. "And for the record, Tanya never gave me head."

I laughed softly, which made every inch of me hurt. "I kind of figured; it just gave me more ammo to hit her harder and the warning was more of a 'just in case she had'."

He nodded, understanding me just like he always did. "I just wanted to be sure you knew. Cause you seemed pretty annoyed with me." He admitted, laughing a little. "When I went to find you she came on to me again. It was hilarious, Bella. You would have laughed your ass off." He smirked, pulsing his arms around my torso.

"I'm kicking her ass again when we're out of here. Just so you know." I breathed, leaning my forehead against his. "And hopefully Rose will be off her high horse, so I can call her in for reinforcements."

He chuckled shaking his head. "She's dumb, Bella. Not even worth your time. You're okay, right? He didn't... he didn't, uh..."He sighed, leaving me to infer what he meant.

"No." I replied quietly, getting what he was hinting at. "You saved me right before." I kissed him again because I was having just as much of a hard time saying what almost happened as he was. "You protected me, just like you promised."

"I love you. More than anything." He nodded as if it was common knowledge - which it kind of was. "I know I'm an ass hole, and I don't tell you enough, but I love you and I appreciate everything you do for me. I really can't survive without you."

I shook my head even though the movement was making me dizzy and sending shooting pain through my neck. "I know you love me. I'm sorry I act more like a teenager with elephantitis of the libido than a sweet and gushy girlfriend. But I do; I love you too and I don't ever want to try living my life without you. We spent too much time apart, trying to ignore each other. I don't want that to ever be us again."

He shook his head vehemently. "It won't. I won't let you go ever again. You have me. I'm here. I'm not letting go."

I smiled and placed soft kisses over his face; first his nose then his lips then his cheeks and chin then up to his forehead; I let my lips linger there and sighed. My lips were still pressed against his skin as we heard a knock on the door and a nurse followed by his parents strolled through, smiling and looking relieved.

"Well looks like they each know the other is okay." The nurse grinned, looking between us.

Carlisle quirked an eyebrow, chuckling. "Somehow I knew you two would end up in bed together."

I felt myself blush and grinned, as the nurse filled my IV with a cool substance that quickly made me drowsy and a little spaced out... immediately.

Thank god for liquid opiates.

I turned my face to Carlisle, with only a fading hint of pain shooting from my neck down my spine. "I'm surprised it took you this long to catch us." I laughed softly, stopping abruptly when I realized what I'd said.

Carlisle laughed with me (I think). "That's what you think." He grinned knowingly, as he brushed a hand against Edward's forehead. "How're you feeling?"

"Can I get some of that?" Edward asked the nurse pointing to my drip of awesome painkilling juice.

I laughed, with only dull pain running through my body. I leaned in and kissed him; in front of the nurse, his parents... the entire fucking world. Because he was mine, and I was his and I would never have to live another day any different.

I pulled back, sucking in air and feeling another cool breeze sweep through my body. Before going in for another kiss I murmured softly against his parted lips, "You have no idea how happy I am that I will never have to live my life without you."


	37. Chapter 37

***sobbing like a crazy person* Oh...hey kels *sniffle* this is like the end end.**

**i knooooooooooooooooow. a true day of mourning. and sadly even after all this work and awesomeness SMeyer still owns all things Twi.**

**Guh, lame. We should really talk to her about that. Cause like really...we're up for a gigglesnort for this thing...if that doesn't mean ownership, I don't know what does.**

**lee-git homefry. but hey, how bouts we ask these awesome readers for one last review for this awesome lil fic that could?**

**Defo...thanks for reading; we've appreciated every review and kind word you've shared :)**

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**BPOV**

"It's so weird not flying home for Thanksgiving break, but just for Thanksgiving, isn't it? Or is it just me?" I asked as I clenched Edward's hand as we took off down the runway from LAX on our way to Honolulu.

It had been 5 years. Five great but not always perfect years, since Edward and I had started kind of-sorta-dating in secret. Or whatever bullshit I was asking him to do back then.

I still did that a lot; not the hiding our relationship thing, but asking him to do stupid stuff; like cut coupons and sort things into logical sections every time we had to move in and out of the dorm apartments we lived in.

But we didn't live in them anymore; we had our own small two bedroom apartment, with a tiny backyard for Smith. And it was perfect for us.

"I'm surprised your parents are letting us meet them in Hawaii instead of in Seattle and having all of us fly out together like usual."

"They probably just got tired of pretending we weren't fucking in the bathroom."He replied distractedly, staring out the airplane window.

I laughed and nodded even though he wasn't looking my way. "Probably."

The plane ride was smooth and we landed 5 hours later, taking a shuttled right to the resort. I sent Esme a quick text message letting her know we'd arrived, while Edward checked us in.

She replied back quickly saying that they were about to go on a helicopter ride of the islands but that we should plan to meet them at 7 for dinner at the usual restaurant. I shut my phone and walked over to Edward, wheeling our luggage behind me. He grabbed the keys and took both suitcase handles from me, kissing my forehead softly. I smiled at the simple gesture and followed him to the elevators.

"Your mom wants us to meet them at 7 for dinner."

He pushed the UP button at the elevators. "Okay... are you sure that's what you want to do?"

"Yea, why wouldn't I? We always do dinner with your parents our first night."

"I dunno. I was just thinking we could have dinner the two of us tonight."He shrugged, gesturing me to go into the elevator once the doors had opened. I felt his hand move to my back gently as he followed me inside.

"Oh, yea. If you want." I shrugged, leaning against the wall of the elevator. "Where would we go though? It might be a little weird going to the same restaurant as your parents and not eat with them." I grinned, looking over at him.

His forehead creased and he pursed his lips, staring down at the ground and running a stiff hand through his hair. "Oh... yeah, you're right. Maybe we can go for a walk after?"

"Either way." I smiled, grabbing his hand from his hair and squeezing it. "I don't mind trying a new restaurant either, if you want it to be just us."

"I suppose it doesn't matter." He said, shaking his head dismissively.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. I followed behind him down the hall. "We're staying in a suite?" I asked, surprised since we normally just stayed in a regular room - with one bed, not two like our first time out here.

"Uh, yeah. I thought it'd be nice." He replied nonchalantly, unlocking the door and turning to look at me. "Do you not like it? Do you want something else?"

I smiled. "No, it's awesome." I replied stepping into the room and looking around, taking it all in. Edward turned, closing the doors and I took a few steps back over to him kissing him soundly. "This is a really nice surprise. Thank you." I murmured, leaning my forehead against his.

His eyes shut and for a second he looked frustrated. Why? This room was awesome. His eyes opened again and he sighed. "Welcome." He finally answered, pausing before speaking again. "How do you feel? You okay?"

"Yea, I'm okay." I grinned. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm alright." He responded, exhaling slowly and turning away from me to walk towards the window. Once again he ran a hand through his hair and I wondered what was wrong.

I furrowed my brows and shrugged out of the sweater I'd brought for the plane. I tossed it on the bed as I made my way over to him, wrapping my arms around him from behind. "What's wrong? Usually you love this trip."

"Nothing's wrong... I'm fine. I'm happy." He murmured quietly before taking a sharp inhale. "Everything's going to be fine."

I laughed softly, pressing my lips against his spine. "Of course it will be. We're here and we have this beautiful suite and we're staying the extra few days since we don't have to go back for classes. It's going to be a great vacation." I confirmed, pressing my lips against his spine again. "I love you."

"I think I'm gonna take a shower. I feel like plane." He stated rigidly, patting my hands as the rested over his waist.

"Okay. Can I join? I smell like plane too." I murmured, grinning against him.

"Yeah, if you want." He answered aloofly, pulling away but grabbing my hand and leading us towards the bathroom.

I laughed, following along. "Geeze Edward, don't sound so excited about having me wet and naked. I know it's been 5 years but really; have I let myself go that much?" I smirked.

He reached for the water levers, turning on the spray. "You're always wet for me." He commented sounding distracted.

"This is true." I sighed, sliding my hands up underneath his t-shirt. "Hey you sure you're okay? You've been quiet since we left the airport."

"No." He said in a tone that didn't make me believe his response.

"No you're not okay?" I asked, sliding my hand from under his shirt up to his jaw and looking at him in the eyes. "What's wrong? Tell me. Let me fix it."

He shook his head, his eyes glossy with unshed tears. "You can't."

My heart raced. What could be so bad that it couldn't be fixed. "Bullshit; I'm Bella fucking Swan, I can fix anything." I replied determined. My voice dropped as I looked at him, not moving my had from his cheek. "Tell me, please."

He shook his head, looking down at me sadly. "It's not time. Not yet." He stated mysteriously, turning his back towards me and throwing his shirt off and over by the sink.

"Not time? What are we going to be burned at the stake? Are we witches and in Boston during the 1600s?" I teased, sliding off my shirt and bra trying to lighten the mood a little. "Are you..." No. No, he wouldn't dump me on a holiday vacation, would he? Was that what the suite was for? To make the blow softer?

"You're not going to dump me on this trip are you?" I asked, pausing as I undid the buttons on my jeans. If he was, the least he could do was tell me _now_.

He spun around quickly, looking at me seriously. "What?"

"You're not going to give me a 'Bella it's not you it's me speech' at any point during the vacation, right?" I asked worriedly. "You're usually Mr. Chatty, so the silence and the evasiveness is kinda unnerving."

"I'm sorry. I'm just nervous." He sighed, moving into the shower and standing directly under the spray.

I finished stripping down and stepped in behind him. "That's not answering my question. Do you want me to leave?" I asked quietly. What the fuck was I going to do without him? He was my family. I felt the tears start to well up at the idea of losing my family. It'd be just as bad as when I lost my parents. I wouldn't have him, or our dog, or his parents; worst of all I wouldn't have his love.

He took a heavy breath, turning around to face me. "No. I don't want you to go." He mumbled into the top of my head as he wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"Thank fucking god." I sighed, wrapping my arms around him. "You had me scared you were going to dump me on Thanksgiving." I laughed sadly, pushing my face into his chest.

He pulled my body up slowly, burying his face in the curve of my neck and mumbling something I didn't quite understand.

My fingers threaded through his hair and we enjoyed the gigantic shower. Even though time had passed, my body still felt the same electricity it had always felt ever since the first kiss. We kissed and touched but kept it relatively tame as we showered and rid our skin of the stale air-conditioned stench.

After wrapping ourselves up in the plush, complimentary bathrobes we meandered back into the main room where a huge flat screen was plastered to the wall in front of the bed. "Did you see Rose's baby shower invite on the table before we left?" I asked as I flopped down against the bed frame and reached for the remote on the nightstand.

"No. Are you going?" He asked, once again sounding distracted. I sat up watching him rifle through his suitcase.

"I was thinking about it. Em is so fucking ecstatic he sent some kind of man-shower invite in the invite Rose sent. Apparently it's going to be a co-ed baby shower." I said biting my lip. Rose had finally conceded defeat and admitted she had been wrong about Edward, after he and I had been released from the hospital after the attack; but they still weren't friends. Honestly, I don't think he'd say her name ever, if her and I hadn't reestablished our friendship. "What are you looking for? I can tell you if we forgot it or packed it."

"Fuck." He grumbled under his breath, roughly pulling on his boxers and white button down shirt. "If you want to go, I'll go." He replied apathetically, tugging out his black slacks from the suitcase.

"Um... ok." I said completely thrown off by his mood swings. I thought _I _was supposed to be the crazy one in the relationship. "I feel like a broken record but, are you sure you're okay?"

He paused, taking a deep breath. "Yeah." He replied, seemingly calmer as he buttoned up his gray shirt. "I'll meet you in the lobby for dinner. I don't have time to come back." He announced, grabbing his wallet and one of the keycards off the edge of the bed.

"Um... ok." I repeated, as he walked over and kissed me quickly before shoving his wallet in his pocket and jetting out the door.

Okay, what the _fuck _was going on?

**EPOV**

Son of a bitch.

Nothing was going right.

I asked for a villa on the beach, and I got a suite.

I wanted to have dinner with just Bella tonight, but my mother obviously forgot.

I wanted to fucking propose to my girl, and instead I forgot the ring.

Awesome.

Son of a bitch.

"Where can I get a car?" I asked the guy at the front desk. I probably looked like a crazy person, my shirt kinda tucked in kinda not, my hair all over the place and just generally irritated.

"We can... uh, we can call a town car for you, sir. Right away."

I nodded, running a hand through my hair again. "Thanks. I'll wait outside."

I walked out into the heat and leaned my head back against the concrete of the building. Shit. What if she said no? What if she wanted to keep things the way they were? What if... son of a bitch, too many what ifs.

The car pulled up and I got in, sighing as the cool air conditioning wrapped around me. "Cartier, please."

The driver nodded, and we took off. I pulled out my phone and dialed my mother. "Please, explain to me why I'm having dinner with you tonight?"

"Hello to you too dear."

"Mom." I said, still so fucking annoyed. She knew. She fucking knew how nervous I was, and she had to do..._ this_ to me.

"Because we alwa-- OH SHOOT!" (recognition sets in) "Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I'll call her. I'll tell her I feel ill from the ride."

"No, it's fine." I sighed. "I forgot the ring."

(sounds sympathetic cuz that's what Esme does best :P) "Are you going to wait then? Propose when you two get back to Baltimore?"

"No. I'm going to the store now to see if I can get another. I swear, I packed it." All such a fucking mess. Plus, Bella thought I was leaving her.

"It's a tiny object Edward; easy to forget. With how busy both of you have been lately, it's an easy thing to miss when packing."

I sighed. "So we'll meet you at 7?"

"You sure Edward? I really don't mind calling her and changing the plans."

"Yeah, I'm sure. It's fine. I'm here, so I'll see you later?"

"Okay sweetie. We'll see you two at 7. Love you."

"Bye." I said, hanging up the phone that Bella bought me and getting out. "I'll be just a sec."

The driver chuckled and looked back. "Second times the charm."

I nodded. I fucking hope so.

None of this was going right.

I've only had this god damn ring since we were 19. I've only been waiting forever to do this. Now, when I finally thought we were ready, this shit had to go and happen. Bella and I worked hard to get here, and to get here together. It was fucking hard enough.

We didn't get into Dartmouth together.

I got in, Bella didn't.

We couldn't go to college together. She cried, and I held her. I told her we'd make it and that it'd be okay. And I meant it. I sure as hell meant it. So I went to Dartmouth, and Bella went to Georgetown. It started out that I'd drive to the train station every two weeks, see her for the weekend, then come back. Then it turned into when I could, and our phone conversations dwindled. She'd call before bed and I'd have nothing to say to her, nor she to me.

We'd sit there in silence.

It sucked and it felt like I'd lost her.

Then Bella didn't come home for Christmas.

Fuck that shit.

Fuck. That. Shit.

I wasn't having it.

I flew to D.C. almost immediately, and went looking for her. What the hell did she think this was? A game? She doesn't call or talk to me, and she pulls this shit?

Bull fucking shit.

I went to her dorm and pounded on the door until her roommate answered. Out with her study group.

Who the fuck studies over winter break?

I got directions to the coffee shop from the chick, and walked down the cold streets. Then I saw her. In the window. With some... _guy._ Ass hole McCreeperton. He was her study group. She was giving him a huge smile and he brushed some hair out of her eyes. Punch me in the mother fucking balls. That would be less painful.

Then, because we're bonded like that, she looked over at me. My heart fucking broke with how happy she looked. I groaned and sat on the nearest stoop and heard her coming over to me.

"Hey there stranger."

I waved a little. "Hi."

"So did Carlisle emphasize how hard of a time I'm having in Calculus and he sent you out here as reinforcements to my studying?" She asked, so fucking carefree it hurt.

"No. Why aren't you home? Who the fuck is he? Why haven't you called in two weeks?" I was pissed. Why the hell was she acting so nonchalant about breaking my heart?

"Edward, I told you I wasn't coming home the last time we talked. I'm on the brink of failing; I'm barely getting a C- as is, and I need a B to get to the next course." She retorted, getting defensive and crossing her arms over her chest. "And I stopped calling because I was tired of being the one _doing _all the calling. You know, you have 10 fingers you can fucking call too." She sighed, and I could feel the tension radiating from her. We weren't supposed to be like this...at all. "And who the fuck is who? The guy in there, guarding my fucking textbook? That's Jake, the guy I've been telling you about the past month who is like some math fucking genius and has been helping me not fail this class."

I looked up at her, livid. "I fucking called you, and you never answer. You're always doing something else, or 'Bella can't get to the phone right now' blah blah blah." I mocked her voice mail, cause that shit was all I heard now a days. "And tell me, does having someone run their fingers lovingly through your hair help you think? How about bouncing on his dick? Bet that works like a mother fucking charm." I wailed, pouting like a two year old.

"You know what? That's a GREAT fucking idea. Maybe I should try it." Her jaw clenched and I'd never seen her so angry. "So what? You came out here to... make up some fantasy that I'm cheating on you? Is that what this is? Edward's delusional hour? I don't have the energy nor the desire to defend myself for studying with someone. Would you like me to have a chaperon next time? Should I cut his finger off the next time he pushes my hair back? Oh, do you think Esme and I are having an affair too, because she fucking does that every time I go to visit!"

"You should fucking think about how that makes me feel!" I yelled. "How would you feel if you saw some chick pushing my hair off my forehead?"

"Edward, he touched my HAIR! THE HAIR ON MY HEAD. He wasn't feeling around to see if my pubes were coarse or soft."

"OH! OH! OH! SO YOU ADMIT HE'S BEEN IN YOUR PANTS!"

She rolled her eyes at me, which only made me angrier. "Edward, you're fucking ridiculous. I really hope you've been drinking and that's why you're being such an asshole right now. NO! For clarification, he has not been anywhere near this area." She made huge circles over her lower half. "I'm FAIRLY certain his BOYFRIEND Seth would have an issue with it."

I looked up at her, confused. "He's gay?"

"He's a boy. He has a boyfriend, whom he has sex with, so.... I'm gonna go with yea." She replied sarcastically, nodding with wide, annoyed eyes.

"Oh." I said, looking down at my hands. "So... you've not been calling because... because you don't want me?" I felt so fucking tiny then. So fucking small, I just wanted to die.

She let out a heavy sigh, and her voice was much quieter. "No. I haven't been calling because I've been exhausted. Edward, you're really smart. You don't even need to try and you ace everything. This... it's all really hard. Adjusting to not having you around, dealing with classes, budgeting and trying to be an adult with the stipend the school gives me, trying to maintain a decent GPA so I don't flunk out. I've been studying all night, almost every night. I don't sleep well because you're not here so I'm exhausted and it's just..." There was a pause, so I looked up at her while she gathered her thoughts. "everything's harder without you in my life like you used to be." Her face fell, and she plopped beside me on the stoop. "And it feels like your slipping away and if you want that I don't want to be the girl that clings and holds on when it's obvious she's not wanted."

I sighed and wrapped my arms and coat around her. "What the fuck would I be doing here if you weren't wanted?"

"Breaking up with me." She spit out.

I laughed softly, against her skin. "No. I won't fucking let you go." I pulled away enough so that I could see her. "Not unless that what you want."

She shook her head, her eyes still looking defeated and sad. "No. I don't want that.. ever." She grabbed my left hand, looking down at the makeshift ring on my finger. "You're mine, remember?" She looked up at me, giving me a small smile. "I proposed and you said yes."

I nodded, and kissed her forehead. "Then let's not fucking do this anymore."

And I held her.

And I didn't let go.

I transferred to Georgetown for Sophomore year, and we lived together ever since. Smith even came out after a while. After that stupid December day, I hadn't known another without Bella.

And this ring would make sure I'd never have to again.

"That's the one." I said to the sales guy, pointing to the ring in the case. "That's for my girl."

"I'll have that ready right away."

Bella would always be mine.

She couldn't be anything to anyone else because she was everything to me.

**BPOV**

I was really worried about Edward. I didn't know what was going on with him, but he'd been off since we landed. What seemed even worse, was I hadn't heard from since he'd stormed out so abruptly earlier.

I dressed slowly, trying to shake the dread and worry but it wasn't working. I just wanted Edward to talk to me; to open up to me. We'd never had a problem communicating with each other before so it was even more alarming that we'd start having one now. I threw on the simple halter cut, short navy blue cotton summer dress I'd picked up just before our trip and dried my hair, running my hands through it a few times before sliding on a pair of flip flops. I glanced at the clock noticing I had about 15 minutes. After deciding to head down early, just in case Edward was already there, I grabbed my phone and key card and nearly sprinted out of the room towards the elevators.

But Edward wasn't there. I waited by the maitre'D and saw his parents strolling down the hall from the elevators a few minutes later. I hugged and kissed them both, greeting them as happily as I could considering my current concerns over Edward. "How was the helicopter ride?"

"Fine, Sweetheart, fine. How was your afternoon?" Esme asked, twirling her fingers in my super straight hair.

"It was alright. Quiet. Edward left me for the afternoon." I replied, trying to laugh it off lightly.

Carlisle furrowed his brows glancing at Esme before looking in my direction. "You mean he's still not back? Odd, I thought he said..." He replied, trailing off as he walked away from us, pulling his cell out of his pocket.

Weird. Why would he talk to his parents about what was going on, and not me?

Unless, he _was _dumping me and trying to work out an easy way to do it. And trying to figure out how his parents would handle the situation.

Shit. He was dumping me.

I wanted to vomit, cry and run all at once. Carlisle strolled back shrugging his shoulders and smiling at the both of us.

"He should be here in a moment. He said the car wasn't too far away. Shall we?"

"Come on, love. Let's get inside." She encouraged, wrapping an arm around my shoulder comfortingly.

"No.. I think I'll wait for Edward out here. We'll meet you both inside." I said giving her a half smile.

She looked at me, worry covering her face. "You sure?"

I nodded. "Positive. He'll probably be here any minute; go on inside without us."

"If you change your mind, just come find us." She replied, kissing my cheek and grinning warmly.

I nodded once more, and smiled. "I will."

They proceeded to go inside and I waited.

And waited.

It had only been 10 minutes but it was incredibly unlike him to be even a minute late. I sent him a quick text.

**Hey we're at the restaurant. Where are you?**

Not even a minute later, I looked up hearing the doors swing open and hit the wall. Edward. He raced over to me wrapping me up tightly in his arms. "Sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm here." He murmured breathlessly into my hair.

I wrapped my arms around him tightly, so thankful he was okay. "I was so fucking worried." I laughed quietly. "Don't fucking scare me like that, okay?"

He nodded, pulling away abruptly. "C'mon, let's get this over with." He sighed, tugging me by the hand towards the restaurant entrance.

"Wait." I said pulling him back. I looked at him completely confused. "What's going on with you?"

His head turned to look at me, his eyes expressing confusion. "Nothing, c'mon."

Fucking Christ, if someone didn't start filling me in I was going to have a fit. I huffed and dropped his hand storming in in front of him, murmuring as I slid past, "Fine _whatever_."

I wanted someone to tell me what was going on, because I was petrified that I was minutes or hours or days from losing it all.

I found the Cullen's table and walked over to it quickly, feeling Edward hot on my heels. I took a deep breath, pulling myself together before sinking in to the booth seat across from Carlisle. Both of them turned around and they smiled as they saw Edward glide into the seat beside me.

"Good to see someone has finally shown up." Carlisle chided, grinning towards Edward.

"Yeah, it took longer than I was expecting, but I made it." He grinned over at his father knowingly.

"What took longer than you expected?" I asked turning to look at him.

He shook his head, waving off my question. "Just some stuff. No worries, love."

Ugh. My lips flat-lined and I shook my head slowly, rolling my eyes. I was on the verge of being rude and excusing myself from dinner I was so infuriated with him, and slightly with Esme and Carlisle. Obviously they had some inkling what the fuck was going on.

Oh right, but I wasn't _really _family. Maybe it was a family thing. My stomach churned at the idea and I glanced up at Esme, about to excuse myself when the waiter arrived at our table to take our order. Esme and Carlisle each ordered a glass of wine, then the waiter turned to me smiling brighter. "And for you miss?" He grinned.

"What do you recommend?" I asked leaning on my elbow inching closer. If Edward wanted to keep secrets then I'd fucking play his game. He _hated _when men looked at me and I could tell he was already beginning to seethe as his hand flexed around my thigh. "Well what are you in the mood for?" The waiter asked.

"She'll have a gin and tonic. I'll have an ass kick-- sorry, Jack and coke." He stated, jaw clenched as he threw an arm over my shoulders, pulling me closer to him.

I turned and scowled at him. "_Don't _order for me." I hissed, turning back toward the waiter. "I'm not really _in the mood _for a gin and tonic. Just water is fine, thank you." The waiter's eyes shifted seemingly unsure of what to make of Edward and I and simply nodded, making note of it and walking away.

"You're an asshole." I said turning to Edward. I was so far beyond mad at everything, my ability to keep our fight private and away from his parents was evidently not going to be possible; so it was either leave abruptly, not find out what was wrong and be kept out of the loop, or fight.

As it stood both were still an option.

He cocked his head to the side, looking confused. "What's wrong?"

I stared at him wide eyed. _Are you fucking kidding me?_ I sighed, instead of asking him outright and turned toward Esme and Carlisle. "I'm sorry, but I'm not feeling very well. And your son not giving me a straight answer as to if he's dumping me on this trip or not, isn't helping. I think it's best if I just go and call it a night." Carlisle and Esme were both scowling at Edward, but in a flash Esme's face was soft and nurturing. "Of course dear. Feel better, let us know if you want us to bring you up any dinner." I scooted away from Edward and the table, smiling a little back at Esme. "Thank you, but I haven't been hungry all day; I doubt that'll change between now and bedtime." I stood, my face turning towards Edward. "I'm going to get a separate room so you can keep having your _space_." I said, feeling my eyes water.

I turned and walked out, almost knocking right into one of the waiters.

I was an idiot to think this could last forever.

That he would want me forever.

**EPOV**

I groaned took a second to gather my thoughts.

My father was watching me, smirking with amusement. Bastard. "I know I may be old and it's been awhile since I've proposed; and while I know this is a surprise... don't you think you should tell her that you in fact do _not _want to break up with her."

I nodded, sighing a little. "Yeah, yeah. I'm going. I just have a better chance of keeping my balls attached if I wait a second."

" I don't know that you have a chance of that no matter how long you wait," he smirked, "You're lucky I have friends who do good reconstructive work."

I chuckled to myself and stood. "We'll be back in a little while. Order something good."

I walked out of the restaurant and found Bella tapping her foot while she waited in line at the front desk. She was fuming. FUMING. It was like a cartoon. I could literally see the steam coming out of her ears. I walked beside her and tugged her hand into mine. "Come walk with me."

She relaxed into me for just a second before ripping her hand away. "Why? So you can dump me? Let me just get my fucking room first."

She killed me. This woman was killing me. "Bella, if you're so set on me dumping you, you can get the room after." I grabbed her hand again and tugged. "Come on."

She huffed, but followed me anyway. Yeah, I loved her. "You're mood swings are worse than a pregnant woman. I hope you know that."

"So are yours." I told her, leading her outside and down on to the beach. "Tell me some other reasons that you love me."

"What?" She asked, sounding exhausted, confused and irritated all at the same time.

I shook my head and smiled over at her. "You know, if you weren't jumping to conclusions and having emotional whip lash all the fucking time, you wouldn't be the girl I fell in love with."

"_Me? I'M _the one with mood swings? Edward you're all sad and shit in the hotel room earlier, and then you come back and act perfectly normal. Like you hadn't bolted from the room. Like you hadn't gone all day without texting or calling _once _all afternoon. Do you fucking get how worried I was?"

I laughed and sat on the sand then looked up at her. "Sit."

Her eyes closed, her forehead was pinched together and her lip quivered. Shit. She opened her eyes slowly, the unshed tears shining in them as she sat beside me.

I put my arm around her waist and kissed her temple. "You don't even know what's going on yet. Why are you crying?"

"_Because _I don't know what's going on." She told me softly, laughing a little through her tears. "I hate feeling far away from you and right now I feel a million miles; I don't like feeling out of synch with you."

I nodded. "A lot of things went wrong today that I tried very hard to keep from you."

"Like what?" She asked, scooting herself closer and grabbing my hand to play with.

"Well, first I woke up and I found that _somebody _stole my shaving cream. Who was that?"

"I think I saw Smith trying to shave the neighbor's dog..." She said evasively, looking anywhere but at me.

I laughed and kissed the top of her head. "Right. Blame the nearly geriatric dog. Then I couldn't find my sunglasses. And you know how I am with those things, and they weren't... anywhere."

"Yea they were. I put them in a case and in my purse so you wouldn't forget them like you did last year."

I nodded. "Well, thanks love. Good to know. Then, did you know we were supposed to have a villa when we got here?"

Her eyebrows shot into her hairline. "I did not. Why? Normally we just get a regular room."

"Mhm. But they lost my reservation, so now we have the suite."

"And the suite is awesome." She smiled, squeezing my hand. "You did awesome surprising me with it."

I sighed, and pulled my arms off of her. "It doesn't end there."

"What do you mean?"

I nodded. "That's where I was this afternoon. I had to replace something." Fuck, this shit was hard.

"Replace..." She pressed, but I was fucking terrified still.

"Mhm." Okay, deep breath. "Bella, you know I love you, right? I'd do anything for you?"

She nodded, "Mhm. And I love you and would do anything for you."

"You're like... my whole fucking world. You're everything I've ever wanted or needed, and the only girl I'm ever gonna love."

She smiled, biting her lip. "Yea, for me too... obviously."

"And one day, five years ago, you and me were standing in the rain, on Whitman Road, and you asked me to be yours forever." I reached into my pocket and pulled out the box. "Now it's my turn. Bella, I love you more than anything. More than I've ever loved anyone or anything. Bella... will you be my wife?"

She looked down at the ring, then back up at me. The tears were back in her eyes, but this time I was pretty sure they were happy tears because she was smiling too. Then she nodded slowly.

Fuck. Yes.

I laughed a little, and pushed the tears from her cheeks. "So you still think we're breaking up?"

She laughed through her tears, shaking her head and laughing a little. "No, but now I kinda feel like an idiot for being such a jackass in front of your parents."

I leaned in and kissed her forehead, and put the box in her hand. "Why? They knew."

"That's why." She laughed, handing the box back to me. "I believe, the way it goes... if I remember correctly from when I did it, the proposer has to put the ring on the proposee."

I cringed a little. "You might not like it though."

"Edward you know me better than anyone; more than I know myself most days. I'm sure I'll love it." She laughed, "Plus it wasn't like I gave you a choice to like yours." She reminded, tapping the ring already in place on my finger.

"Hey, I love it. I don't even need a wedding band now." I told her, kissing her forehead again and opening the box. "This is what I had to replace, because somehow I forgot to pack the thing. I've only been carting it around for fucking ever."

"You mean the antique looking 3 stone one that's been in your dresser a million years?"

I blinked at her. "Shut the fuck up, you knew?"

She blinked back at me before breaking out into huge, belly busting laughs. "I thought that was a family heirloom or something that meant something to you. I never asked because you never brought it up so I thought you might think I thought it was weird that you had this old-fashioned women's ring just chilling in your sock drawer."

I shook my head and closed the box again. "Well, if you want that one you can have that one. I thought you might like this one better. And then I can be the creep who keeps engagement rings on standby."

She looked down at the ring then shook her head. "No, we can make up some story about it and give it to our first daughter when she's all grown up."

I shoved it back in my pocket and looked at the ocean. "Okay. Good plan."

"Um... are you going to..." She started, pointing down at her ring, and smirking. "Or do you expect me to do it, since I put that one on you."

I rolled it over in my hand and didn't look up at her. "Is this the one you want?"

"It doesn't matter to me, as long as I get you."

I looked over at her. "You have to like it, that's the point. But if I can't find the other one..."

"I love this one." She moved closer, resting her hand on my thigh before pressing her lips gently to mine.

I laughed against her lips and grabbed her hand, sliding the ring on a little. "I've never needed you more than I needed you today."

"Me too. It sucked feeling like you were pulling away. I don't care what the surprise is - never pull that crap again." She grinned, laughing a little.

"I won't ever have to." I kissed the tip of her nose. "Once I get this on, you'll be mine forever."

"I always have been." She whispered, leaning in a little closer.

I slid it on completely and kissed beside her ring. "But now I can't let you walk away."

"And you could before?"

I nodded. "If I thought that's what you really wanted."

"It'll never been what I want. It's never been what I wanted." She paused, twisting my fingers up in hers. "Though I do have a bone to pick with you."

I blinked, standing up and holding out my hand to her. "What's that?"

She took it and stood, then looped her arms around me. "I vaguely remember a promise my Mr. Cullen made to me the first time he called me his Mrs..." She looked up to the peach colored sky, tapping her chin like she was thinking. "something about him _thoroughly fucking me_ at least twice a day." She reminded me (as if I could forget) , pouting at me with her full pink lips. "And... since technically it's past midnight back home, I don't believe that the vow was kept." She smirked, pressing said lips against mine.

I laughed, and kissed her forehead. "Well, I'm sorry love. I had a bunch on my mind today."

"That's okay, I _guess _an extension can be made based on this timezone considering the circumstances." She grinned.

We headed back into the restaurant, and I kissed her forehead. "Thanks, Baby."

She tugged, me toward the elevators taking me by surprise. "Remember when we were in high school and I used to beg you for it all the time?"

I shook my head. "Nothing's changed. What's to remember?"

Her forehead creased. "Hey, I've gotten better."

I raised an eyebrow. "Bella, I'm your husband. Who the fuck are you trying to fool?"

She gave me the biggest smile her face could handle. "You are my husband." She said, almost like she'd just realized that that was what we were doing. "My point was - we're skipping dinner." She breathed, pinning me up against the wall and pressing her lips hungrily to mine.

I laughed against her lips and kissed her back. "But... champagne... and my parents..."

"Will all be there tomorrow." She whispered, her lips kissing up my jaw to beside my ear. "Right now I want you to make me feel like your _wife_."

I grinned down at her and laughed a little. "Say it again."

"Your parents and champagne will be there tomorrow?" She teased, laughing a little and smiling.

I shook my head, and rolled my eyes. "Fine, fine. Be that way."

She smirked at me, leaving me in the elevator as she walked to our room. She popped the lock, then stepped inside, propping the door open. Bella pulled her hair over her shoulder, then pulled down the zipper on her dress and letting it puddle at her feet. She wrapped an arm over her breasts, then looked back at me coyly. "Edward, your wife needs you."

Holy shit.

I ran for the door and didn't look back.

She was my love.

She was everything.

I pulled her into my arms and kissed her hard. "I'm so fucking happy that I don't have to live my life without you."

**THE END**


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